#and theyre like 'oh no r u kidding we want to keep being married' 'okay than just publicly deny but be together in private'

[hirookouji]

Aomine and kise are the type of people to end up accidently married in vegas.

oh most definitely!! thinking abt aomine and kise drunkenly getting married in vegas and then posting it to their stories, giving their pr teams simultaneous heart attacks

[bepoets]

Review for Trish’s Dream Fic

Trish ( @couragedontdesertme  ) said she’d write an epilogue of the elsarik dream Fic if I made a Formal Review of the elsarik dream fic. So here we are.

Please note review should be taken VERY LIGHTLY this is more or less me re-reading the Fic and loudly yelling about things with too many exclamation points. Enjoy Trish.

Ch1

First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness

The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN

The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god

Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM

The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Ugh fuck hans

I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye

~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~

I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD

I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs

Ch2

I’m fucking S A D

ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED

P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY

ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE

ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD

THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.

LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS

“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD

“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER

The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD

the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there

U g h hans fuck that guy

A N N A !!!!!!!!

When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked

ALFAFA GERANIUM

ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea

AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough

I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget

“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”

Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him

“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”

ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL

Ch3

My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name

I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs 

Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM

Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good

Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know

JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N

Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him

The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god

“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT

the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT

DO ! THE ! MAGIC !

Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD

A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna

Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!

IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!

SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT

ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!

Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart

Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.

They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program

SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!

Ch4

*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????

Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT

They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY

ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit

“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days

ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go

THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius

I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED

listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!

I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT

He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy

Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE

And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE

“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck

LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

~end review~

Okay where is my epilogue please and thank you

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok hmmmm fake dating art school au with Malec, Claia, Lukemaryse and (platonic, obviously) garrowbane where hmmm magnus is with an ex at the start and tries setting up Luke with people

well this got really cracky really fast

okay so im gonna go ahead and say that i have no idea how art school works in the US so for the sake of My Convenience™ imma go with the way it is in Brazil, which is "there are numerous kinds of arts going on in the same institute/college"

so im thinking..... clary obviously is doing visual arts, painting, whatever its called (this is probably where i should warn you that i know nothing about visual arts). maia is not really an arts major, but she's doing a course on technical/scientific drawing since shes a biology major and that's useful for her field studies. magnus is on the same course, except hes like an engineering major really. im a slut for inventor Magnus so yeah he wants to be an engineer to develop new kinds of technology so technical drawing is important for him. meliorn (watch me slip meliorn in literally everything i can) is a theatre major, and Luke and Maryse r both studying music

Luke and Maryse r older and like idk how common that is in the US but here in Brazil some ppl (spec retired ppl) come back to college to study something they have Always Wanted To but that wouldnt bring them money. i know that the whole "no free college" thing makes that harder but they can be post-graduates i guess. or Luke is and maryse is a regular major but shes a super rich hotshot lawyer who after the divorce decided to be less stuck up and dedicate herself to things she enjoys, and since shes rich, she has the money to do a major or a music course just for fun

anyway! Magnus is the kind of guy whos friends with everyone from all ages and courses. he quickly becomes friends with maia (shes on his course after all) and meliorn (who is a theatre major but takes classes in everything they can because.... they can)

i just realized maia/meliorn has a LOT of brotp potential but ok anyway

magnus and maia bond greatly over their shared interests (yeah shes a biologist and hes an engineer but magnus' interests vary a lot and also hes a fan of biochemistry. they also have relatively similar life stories and a similar sense of humor, even if maia is sharper at the edges - which is something Magnus likes, really. she's fierce and fun and unafraid and he wishes he were more like her sometimes. they have a mutual admiration and kind of protection pact). meliorn on the other hand is kind of the local queer cryptid in a way, which of course means magnus immediately befriends him, and Maia is just delighted at how much of a trickster they are. magnus also likes meliorn a lot because they're so... chill and easy and unbothered by social conventions to the point of being nearly unaware, which makes Magnus feel so comfortable. and meliorn thinks Magnus is interesting, and they all get along.

maia kind of brings luke into the group. luke is kind of maia's adoptive uncle. she lives alone but once she ran away from home luke was super nice and helpful and also one of the ppl who most encouraged her to go after her major like she wanted

luke and maia are clearly close and have each other's backs, but they also tease each other a lot. so when one day luke teases maia over her crush on clary, she retaliates by looking DIRECTLY at meliorn and being like "he's just jealous. did you ppl know he hasnt been on a single date in years" and meliorn, who thrives on the chaos, is like "oooh we should set him up" and magnus of course jumps at the opportunity

so the three of them keep trying to set ppl up with luke, and it just ...... never works. like doesnt come even close to working. its kind of a disaster actually. its awkward, it never clicks, and at this point luke is begging them to stop but you know thats not gonna happen. so as a last resort, luke lies that he's dating a woman from class. cue him asking maryse, whom hes never talked to in his life but is the only eligible woman his age at class, to like, please do him a solid. and maryse is just so shocked by this random (but handsome) man's life, shes like. lmao sure. look shes a post-divorce woman she wants to be free and cease giving fucks

and maryse kind of has fun pretending to date luke, but she's a busy woman and she doesnt hang out with them often, and they are like [BANGING POTS AND PANS] WE WANT TO ACTUALLY MEET HER

and luke is all like "well maybe if all of yall singles got dates we could have a date together otherwise get out" so maia asks clary out purely out of spite and turns out it works, but Magnus and Meliorn are like "uuuuhhhhh,,,,,,," so meliorn is like "what if we pretend to be together lmao" and Magnus is like shit we're gonna do that aren't we

i know its not exactly Magnus having an ex but look im struggling to put all of this together okay udhdhdbd also im not big on the whole "breaking up because of someone else" trope ya feel

god this is just the setup for malec to meet, im,,,, a mess

so anyway Magnus and Meliorn are determined to totally sell this to luke (maia knows its a scam of course, she can smell bullshit from miles away). and luke and maryse are also totally determined to sell this cuz everyone is an idiot. so they keep having, like,,,,, dates together, until eventually they kind of become a solid group of friends. they all welcome maryse and are really impressed by how critical she is of her pre-divorce self and how it did wonders for her, they think shes really strong. she even shares about how she struggled with her son being gay and her daughter deciding to become a forensic pathologist instead of a lawyer like her, you know. in short they all become good friends

so now everyone (but maia and clary who are happy and drama free and laughing their butts off at Magnus and Meliorn) is in a difficult situation because now theyre all friends! what are they gonna do, confess it was a scam all along? pretend to break up and make the whole thing awkward? they're trapped in their fake dating and it looks like they're just gonna have to, like ... deal with it

and in luke and maryse's situation it's even more complicated because they are kind of getting into each other, and theyre like groaning because theyre grown ass adults they shouldn't be living this trope. and yet

anyway as they become closer they start going to maryse's (shes the only one with a large enough place) and that's when Magnus meets Alec and meliorn meets izzy

which,,,,, despair

because they had been doing a great job of fake dating so far, excuse you, they are partners in crime. they're a well oiled lying machine and they work together flawlessly. magnus is not even a good liar but shit if meliorn didnt teach him every trick on how to not technically lie, and also they are very close and the kind of ppl who are comfortable with sharing affection, so yeah they drape their arms on each others shoulders and hold hands and kiss each others cheeks NO PROBLEM but now theyre both interested in someone else

hell, theyre both interested in maryse's kids

fuck

shit

goddamn

meliorn is all like "i told you we should have pretended to have an open relationship" and Magnus is like luke KNOWS im monogamous he would KNOW we're lying and meliorn is like FUCK and maia and clary are losing their shits

meanwhile luke and maryse are becoming more and more domestic and oblivious to the world. they will b like "you kids put the movie on, we'll make dinner" and be all like fluffy asshole

izzy quickly picks up that its a scheme cuz shes smart, and flirts with meliorn when maryse isnt around, while Alec is like SHIT dude i cant believe ur into a TAKEN MAN what the fuck kind of sad gay stereotype r u

but their pull is like,,, stronk and they frequently find themselves getting lost in their own little world and lowkey flirting and just being a liiiiil too close (especially in alecs case since hes like ..... stoic extraordinaire) and then theyre like AH SHIT WAIT and they jump and pretend nothings happening

and look, izzy would tell Alec about the scam, but she's, como se dice...... having way too much fun at his expense. she and meliorn start dating on like day 1 and make a pact to see how long they can keep the act up and enjoy the show

maia and clary have eaten their combined weight in popcorn by this point

the intrigue. the chaos. the misunderstandings

it gets more and more ridiculous as time goes by but Magnus is still determined to yknow keep the act up and not expose his and meliorn's lies

they just,,,,,,, live like this

it lasts for so long

like ..... months of ridiculousness

and alec is suffering because hes into a taken man whos obviously very in love with his partner and he feels guilty and all of that shit

and magnus just.... doesnt know what to do with his predicament. look he has anxiety this was a bad idea how is he gonna walk up to Alec and b like "hey so I'm not really dating meliorn it was all a scam so we could spy on luke and ur mom but it went too far" and the more time passes the more awkward it gets

the dam probably breaks when magnus finds meliorn and izzy on a date on accident, and hes like rjrhrjrjdnc SO THEY KNOW???? and meliorn is like nah only izzy knows we wanted to see how long itd take for u and alec to get ur shit together. and magnus is like oh my god and meliorn is like "in my defense i didnt think it would take literal months!!!!!! and then it started to feel awkward to just tell you to go for it"

so magnus is like FINE i guess i will TELL ALEC and ask him if he wants to DATE ME IN SECRET so we can keep NOT HAVING TO CONFESS WE LIED TO HIS MOM

and then i guess he tells Alec???? and he still isnt sure whether or not Alec likes him so he isnt planning to ask him out immediately afterwards, just, you know, let him in on the secret, and Alec is like "dude my mom is lying too" and Magnus is like what she and luke are like married

anyway knowing about that gives them full permission to come out as lying bitches so they're like "how dare you lie to us like this.. but also we did the same thing"

eventually luke actually asks maryse out

i dont even know whats happening anymore god im done

this is your fault anon

if anyone wants to actually write this, feel free rjrhdjdn honestly id read it

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: How do you like your  🥚🍳 in the morning? Carly: no 🐣 Carly: ha Ali: 🐔 didn't show up in your roost later, did he? Carly: he must be scared of you Carly: 🔮 Ali: or my 🐺 Carly: maybe Ali: eggs aside, how you feeling, chick? Carly: 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: 👎👎👎👎👎 Ali: unacceptable! Ali: what do you need, kill or cure? Carly: cure forever Carly: im too young to die Ali: I'll swing by with my witches brew Ali: actually doesn't taste like ☠ either Ali: pure 😇 Carly: aw Carly: really? Ali: 'course, not gonna half-arse the job Ali: and it makes a full pot, no sense in not sharing the 💚 Carly: 💙 Carly: wat does it taste like? Ali: like Christmas 🎄🎅🤶🎁❄️🌨️☃️✨🌟 Carly: 😋😊🥰 Ali: it's got ginger and peppermint in Ali: the only other person hanging out their arse is my brother and he would rather die 'cos he's grumpy 👴 man energy so Carly: no 🦃 tho yea?! ha Carly: oh no he sounds like my da Carly: which cute bro is it? Ali: definitely not 😂 Ali: some greens but not sprouts Ali: the freckly one Carly: did u heal my heart to 💔😢? Carly: course itd be the most beautiful one Ali: oh no, you're delirious Ali: I'll come quick 😜 Carly: dont b jealous 👼 hes only the most beautiful boy Ali: 😏 My ma'll be gutted Carly: do u have a tea for that? Ali: 🍋 'cos she's so bitter? Ali: I'll see if she goes for it Carly: noooo 🍯 so she wont be Ali: you're too sweet yourself, Walsh Carly: aw Carly: but ur the 1 who saved me Carly: ur the sweetest Ali: anyone would Carly: nah ur the 1st Carly: not just saying it to u get ur fairy wings Ali: had to fly away from that particular 🐔 plenty myself Ali: harmless and flightless though he is, most the time Carly: yea Carly: he talks about u wen hes been on it Carly: the 1 that flew away Ali: uh oh Ali: can't let a boy ✂ your wings Ali: ever Ali: ever Ali: 👼🏽 🐔 🐧 🐦 🐤 🐣 🐥 🦆 🦢 🦅 🦉 ��� 🦜 🦇 🐝 🦋 🐞 🦗 🦟 🐓 🦃 🕊 Carly: im 😕💫🙃 but idk if those were the guests i danced with Carly: did get a cute lil 🎶🎤 to fall asleep to tho 💙🕊 Carly: 🌚🌝🌛🌜🌞 Ali: very 👸 of you though Ali: I can 👀 it Carly: my ma is trying to make me clean Carly: 🐇🐁🐀🐿🦔🐾 pls Ali: also unacceptable Ali: not 'til you're better Ali: use my wings to fly through and 🤞 he don't get the wrong idea about who I'm there to see Carly: [sends her a pic of whatever caravan mess she caused last night that her mum is raging about] Carly: so u can play a game of spot whats got her 😠 Carly: cuz idk Ali: Fun 🧐🤔🤨 Ali: angry mothers are my forte Ali: [does the circling the hazzards moment on the pic] Carly: making her angry is mine but nah to knowing y ever ever Carly: k ur cute & smart Carly: 🌟 Ali: it's rarely logical, but 🤫 on that or it's hulk levels in 0-60 Ali: how are you this nice when you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: that's a skill, rare one at that 💎✨ Carly: my da is looking green must of had his own 🎶🍻💃 ha Carly: idk i can b nicer? but k now i know ronan aint been talking bout me when hes 🍺 or 💊 Ali: can be a tea party for three Ali: have to bring his own 🎩 though Ali: not to me anyway Ali: but as you can tell Ali: 🐺 keeps all the 🐓🐓🐓 away Carly: 🐇🐇🐇♠️♣️♥️♦️🐇🐇🐇 Carly: she is fierce Ali: she likes to think so Ali: 🐶 really Carly: course ur not scared of her silly Carly: u love her Carly: im a 🐈 person ha Ali: [sends her a load of pictures of Bluebeard she didn't ask for rather than being like do I love her hmm] Carly: AW!!!! Carly: 🥰🤗 Ali: he's captain ☠🏴 but there's always room aboard Carly: thats the best offer ive had from a gentleman ever ever ever Carly: whats his name? Ali: Bluebeard Ali: and he is MOSTLY a gentleman if you can handle some toe nibbling Carly: 😍😍😍😍 Carly: into it Carly: ive done more for lads i just met who aint as beautiful so Ali: 😂 I feel that Ali: honestly, it's quite comforting, when he doesn't sneak attack you with it Carly: [sends her a selfie that shouldn't be as adorable as it is] Carly: now u can introduce us Carly: 👋 baby blue Ali: the 😍😍😍😍 are mutual Ali: I can tell Carly: yay Carly: 🧡 Ali: is there anything else you need/we want for the tea party? Ali: en-route at last Carly: ur really coming? Ali: yeah, sorry I was ages, it's a whole process brewing it Ali: also a dead giveaway you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 which obvs my ma takes as her cue to be all Spanish inquisition about it Ali: 📚 of my mostly-fictional-but-which-are-and-which-aren't-mother exploits later Carly: sorry iou so much magic Ali: nah, don't worry about it 👸 Ali: who doesn't love a little scandal with their morning brew? she deffo does Carly: its too late im looking for 🍀 Carly: among the 🌼🌼🌼 Ali: awh Ali: I'm never turning down extra luck Ali: we can make daisy-chains Carly: its the dresscode Carly: soz da Ali: does he have a 🧔? Ali: that's a #look Carly: not rn Carly: my ma wasnt on @ me only to clean up Carly: he had his turn Ali: damn it Ali: maybe a nice belt Ali: I'll be 🤔 Carly: dont b 💔😢 he has bushy eyebrows Ali: same Ali: he's earnt his invite back Ali: your ma gonna have to chill though Ali: and it ain't that kinda tea 💔 Carly: you wont b able to tell if shes angry or surprised Ali: 😚 ⬅ I know the vibe Ali: you do you babe Carly: she used to let me sort em out but there was an accident Carly: which im sworn to secrecy about Ali: I'm so good with secrets 🙏🙏🙏 Carly: k Carly: my head zoned out but my hands kept going like Ali: you were meditating you can't help having  🌌🧠 Ali: I'll 🤭 now and never tell, don't worry Mrs W Carly: @ school yea im meditating on your q sir relax Carly: ha love that Ali: they just ask questions to answer it themselves, what is the point Carly: u coming for my ma again? Ali: 🤫 bad first impression, that Carly: shes heard it from ronan too sorry Carly: lad has loose lips Ali: honestly Ali: 🙄 can't keep up with my bad reputation Carly: ud think hed be better at kissing Carly: its talk talk talk Carly: more good things about u than ive made it seem like tho Ali: he was a big talker Ali: probably 'cos he ain't allowed with the lads Carly: if he talked about what a 👼 u are & how 💔😢 he is theyd uninvite him from the bonfire Carly: its sweet really how hung up hes got Ali: he only thinks I'm an 👼 'cos he took my virginity probs Ali: that's more suitable 🔥side chat Carly: he goes on about that alot but I thought he was lying Carly: oh no that sounds bad Carly: not calling u a slag ur obvs not its y he likes u more Ali: 😂 I'm fine with slag Ali: all definition dependent anyway Carly: yea same Carly: can be hot if ur in the mood Ali: right, and if I'm a slag 'cos I didn't marry him then I'll take it Carly: & hes not allowed to marry gorgers theyd wanna throw him in the 🔥 Ali: exactly Ali: we can't both be 💔😢 forever can we boy Carly: just me @ the party til u came to my rescue Ali: 🥺 Ali: What was he even on about then, like? Ali: dickhead Carly: idk i zone out wen he shouts @ me too Ali: I can always poison a cup and send it his way Ali: just say the word Carly: hes not that bad Ali: okay okay, just some laxatives Ali: 'cos he's a bit 💩 Carly: ha Ali: no 🌼🌼🌼 unless he says soz then Carly: but his beautiful curls 🥺 Ali: hmm, a good point Ali: be strong, baby Carly: ill throw one @ him & run away Carly: back to u Ali: you're so adorable Carly: says u Carly: 👼👸🏼 Ali: 💚 we're gonna have an adventure when the tea hits okay Ali: I've decided Carly: k thats the kinda 🎄🎅🤶🎁 it is Carly: i do want the energy of a kid on xmas morning Ali: that's the best Ali: how I'm tryna be every day Carly: 💫⭐️🌟✨⚡️☄️ 🚀🛸 Ali: if only 🚀 Ali: this bike can only go as fast as my lil legs can carry, like Carly: aw baby Carly: i shouldve asked u where u live before this 2nd rescue was launched Carly: im sorry Ali: No distance is too far for a fair maiden Carly: ill have to see what other 🔮 i can find before u get here Carly: dont love ious Ali: there's no ious Carly: [sending her loads of pics of her with or just pics of the cat lady's cats that she's rounding up for this tea party and they're adorable] Ali: 😍💞😻 Ali: okay, non-debt fully paid though Carly: [just rambling about the names she's given each cat cos her and cat lady don't know each other properly til Ali comes along and like facts about each cat/her fave things cos she's a big nerd] Ali: I love them Ali: I'm gonna get them some 🐟🐟🐟 when I get tea party tings Ali: some cream, awh, okay, this is happening Carly: im picking enough 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼 for everyone Ali: should've put Bluebs in my basket Ali: next time Carly: aw Carly: Humbug might try & fight him Carly: youd b there to protect him tho Ali: I can ref Ali: my little brother is always trying to play-fight everyone so I'm well-versed Carly: is he ticklish? that works for me Carly: broken up lots of fights Ali: big time Ali: his kryptonite Ali: reckon it's against the rules in professional fights but preparing him for anything like any good big sister Carly: ha Carly: aw i bet ur an amazing sister Carly: if i had 1 maybe id wanna be on site sometimes Carly: my ma's eyebrows r hardly a call to home Ali: he might disagree but he's 5 so what does he know 😉 Ali: feel that though Ali: home is just a base, whole 🌍 out there Carly: wen ur 5 you argue to argue Carly: yea if u dont use ur wings theyll think u dont want em 💔😢 Ali: flying is like riding a 🚲 though Carly: r we goin on a 🚲 adventure? Ali: definitely Ali: ugh, need one of those wagons for the 😻😻😻s Carly: ☺️its gonna b so fun! Carly: we might meet more 🐈🐈🐈🐈 Ali: way better than 🐔 Carly: ha Carly: do u have 🔮 left to help me find shoes? Ali: have you checked the fridge? Carly: [a pause while she do] Carly: theyre not there 😕🧐 Ali: damn, that'd be the last place I'd look though Ali: were they in the mess your Ma was sounding off about fr Carly: o mayb Carly: if i was wearing any when you dropped me off Ali: 🤔 I don't know if I recall any glass slippers Ali: I'll ask Lene hold up Carly: 👸 energy Carly: but idk if i wanna scary 🐺 at my door Ali: turns out she's actually your 👵 Carly: ha my grandma is 💍 to god Carly: its not close to the energy shes putting out Ali: she'd probably tell your actual that God is a gay girl Ali: nah she's well 😇 around fam, just hide behind your Ma and me, baby, you'll be fine Carly: ha that wasn't in any of the kids bible stories she sent me every 🎄🎅🤶🎁 Carly: her god is 😠 than Humbug Carly: he likes to shout so i gotta zone out Carly: aw that's sweet ur ma loves her too? Ali: Hooray for Catholicism, yeah? 😏 Ali: she loves my Ma, more like Carly: we spend our sundays on our knees nana but its 🚽🤮 or u kno a bigger sin Carly: u do look like her i remember Ali: that's not QUITE 🚽🤮 levels but close 😂 Carly: nah its nice u have the same 👀💙✨ Carly: idk who i look like Carly: postman maybe Ali: now I don't know whether to 😳 or be 🤨 you like my Ma too Ali: you look like you and that's Ali: 💛 😍 😘 🥰 😚 👸 👼🏽 🐰 🌼 🌻 🌞 🍓 ���� 🍨 🍰 🍭 🍬 🎆 💜 Carly: yea 🤞🙏🌠 the postman isnt my da cuz hes a ride Carly: aw now youve got me 😳 Ali: rude, my postman is not Carly: 🚫💌 then baby Carly: ill text u instead Ali: so grumpy, don't stick your hand right into our house if you don't wanna get bitten, sir Ali: not by me, whatever Ronan has said Ali: though I'm well flattered I'm getting a text back Carly: ha its k its not that u use too much teeth Carly: & course ur my hero Carly: tho 🤞🙏🌠 wont b an sos every time Ali: good, can't have him putting you off with blatant lies Ali: it won't be if I do a better job at the heroics and get there before any bad shit can happen Carly: its k i like it Carly: helps me remember what i did Carly: 💔😢 no lads r spelling their names out in bruises for the who Carly: 🐇🐾🐇🐾🐇 Carly: nooo theres no better u could do Carly: ur flying to me faster than anyone has ever ever Ali: amateurs, like Ali: so rude, ain't they heard you're 👸 Ali: I'm basically there now, prepare for the best tea party you've ever been to Carly: aint wat theyve heard but idc Carly: yay 💙 i havent had 1 since me & my 🧸🧸🧸 Ali: I'll be 🎶🔊 it so get in the know lads Ali: awh, can I meet them too? Carly: not too 🔊 or ur gf will bite me which could b fun but im not trying to do u like 💔😢 Carly: some r shyer than others but if u work ur 🔮 how u did for me ull make friends Ali: fill your boots, babe, I don't reckon she's your type, like Ali: I'll be on my best behaviour 🤞 Ali: the loveliest guest you've ever had 🤞🤞 Carly: be fun though Carly: not boring Ali: 😲😲 Ali: Is that the impression I give off? Ali: or another Ronan tale, either way Ali: gonna have to prove otherwise now in the most extra ways imaginable Carly: nahhh Carly: he don't lie to me its his 1 saving grace Carly: its just like a pls Carly: to u & the universe Ali: I won't be boring Ali: trust me Carly: k Carly: i do ur a lifesaver Ali: nah Ali: just happy to help Carly: im happy we r mates Ali: me too Ali: idk why we weren't before, like Ali: too many people at school Carly: & i dont go much ha Ali: this is true Ali: lesser spotted walsh 🐦 Carly: oooh wat colours am i Ali: 💗💜💛🧡💗 Carly: cute Ali: very Carly: wats ur fave colour? Ali: It's a harder question than people reckon, that Ali: like, there's so many beautiful things of every colour Ali: if I can decide for the day, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to all the others Carly: sorry Carly: i havent decided on mine either Carly: when i was a lil kid it was 💛 for the 🌞 then wen i started goin out it was silver for wat i thought the 🌚 looked like Carly: but ive seen so many new colours since Ali: kids always know Ali: they're much smarter than adults about everything Carly: i bet ur lil bro is the smartest Carly: like u Ali: he likes red for 🚨❌🛑⛔️🚫💯‼️🥊🥤 Ali: and I see the appeal Carly: does he like 🍎? i kno somewhere that sells the reddest shiniest 1s Carly: or we cud just throw 🍅s Ali: he's at the anti-fruit stage Ali: but I reckon he could be convinced if we let him smother 'em in caramel and sprinkles Carly: its a date Ali: Me first

[maribelsawyer]

- ̗̀ * ( ella purnell + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( maribel sawyer ) walking around campus ? they are a ( nineteen ) year old, studying ( journalism ). we hear they are in ( delta gamma chi ), and can be ( benevolent & impressionable ), maybe it’s because they are a ( gemini ). they sort of remind us of ( scraped knees , magnifying glasses , vintage oxfords ), maybe we can find out more ! *  ̖́-  + newspaper writer

god okay looks like i’ve fallen in love w ella purnell and i want to b her. anyways maribel is my newest baby n im sorta making her up as i go so pls bare w me lmao

TW: eating disorder mentions, subtle abuse?

{she is not currently in that mindset ^}

gen. info

full name: maribel ottoline sawyer

nickname(s): mari, bell, lottie b/c middle name, etc. etc. just sawyer sometimes idk

b.o.d. - june 1st, 19 yrs old

label(s): the marionette, the demure, the prevaricator, etc. etc.

height: like 5′3″ prolly tbh

hometown: duluth, minnesota

sexuality: shit she don’t know

bio. info

her dad’s in the air force, her mom’s published three diet cookbooks and two different DVDs--maribel is the only middle child

one of those conservative, all american families, they were strict and definitely made it known that they were parents and not friends by any means

9pm curfew, not leaving the dining room until all ur food is gone, grounded if ur grades were below their expectations, etc. etc. 

her older sister can evoke emotions in others thru her acting like no other. has taken the hearts (and leads) of all her acting directors since childhood. her voice is broadway material.

and her older brother? has been the best linebacker on any high school team he’s joined; hopes to make it to the big leagues. but if he doesn’t? he’s been taking college-level classes since he was a sophomore.

and...maribel?

maribel is...just, maribel.

for the longest time, there was nothing special about maribel

she couldn’t sing, or dance, or compose words in pretty prose

her grades were only satisfactory after hrs n hrs of studying everyday

homegirl can’t even cook w/o smth exploding

in short, maribel has never been good at anything. can’t draw within the lines, can’t follow the line, opens her mouth at the wrong time. etc. etc. shit? rough.

ANYWAYS

her family moves around a lot b/c of her dad, so she’s never really been in one place long enough to really prove herself? always been the quiet girl in class while her siblings brought home gold stars everyday

the kinda girl others would sorta push around n bully a lil bit bc she would never know what to say; prolly just cried a lot tbh

grew up w a lot of insecurities b/c of this

definitely doesnt help that her mother is obsessed w beauty n fitness n like

their mother p much forced her lifestyle onto her children, mari has a rough relationship w food b/c of it

ANYWAYS part 2

grew up always in the shadows of her siblings and their accomplishments, and spent a lot of her time tryn find something to be good at just so somebody could give her a stamp of approval

was always the ~wannabe~, the girl who would just endlessly suck up to the most popular girl she could find and try to mimic her to the best of mari’s abilities, just so she could survive her school experience

by the time mari was a freshmen in high school, her parents had divorced and she finally thought she could have a normal school experience and make something for herself

obv not. her mother shipped her off to a boarding school in nevada and that was it; her sister had already graduated and her brother was still in middle school.

it was finally just mari.

of course like she tried to suck up to others but it wasn’t really helpful, everybody was a lil too boujie for her and she always froze up when she tried to speak to the ~popular kids~

they only rly spoke to her b/c she’s got this knack for forging shit, like i dont think she even has her own handwriting; she always copies other people’S b/c she’s just. so used to tryn to mimic others n be them as much as possible

around this time she found herself fucking around in her computer class more often than not; it’d been the only elective left b/c she arrived in the middle of the year

but she surprisingly enjoyed it, like, a lot

her parents never really allowed much computer use b/c like. rots ur brain or whatever.

got into programming, but when she found out that u could ? hack shit ? kinda peaked her interest.

her shift into programming to hacking was subtle but before she knew it, she was fucking around on websites for the fun of it. never anything severe

computers became her friends, y’know

that was until her sophomore year and there was another loser fucking around on the computers during lunchtime

and like...they just started kinda talking, y’know? became friends, prolly mari’s first legitimate friend in...forever, really

the kid was kinda weird but she didn’t mind b/c fuck, mari couldn’t be picky n she didn’t mind weird

like...they were obsessed w conspiracies n mysteries n shit

it started to rub off on mari too, b/c homegirl is an idiot but. an observant idiot.

so she started getting reeeally into mysteries and shit. started acting like a mini investigator w/ her pal; solving stupid things like ���who wrote ‘mindy is a whore’ in the bathroom stall’ and ‘does mr. roberts have a secret obsession w kpop’

no mindy is not a whore it was slander

yes mr. roberts is into kpop

ANYWAYS part 3

so they were these nancy drew, scooby doo, veronica mars knock off duo

by junior yr her partner started getting into like. drinking and minor drugs and other things that the other boarding school kids were smuggling in, y’know. 

this meant that mari was getting into that shit too, y’know. cant stay innocent forever.

became a lil bit of a pothead lmao

so like now theyre just stoners who go around solving shit and prolly also stirring shit up for the hell of it

so like . . . . . one night they were doin’ their thing, right? and her partner brings up this...completely wild idea

they live in nevada. y’kno what else is in nevada?

area 51

these fucking idiots want to go break into this fucking. air force base. to find area 51.

guess what they did?

they attempted to break into the air force base. like. of course they tried.

they failed like, super miserably, got arrested for trespassing and had to be bailed out of the county jail by their parents

her dad almost lost his job so he was mcfuckin PISSED esp once they figured out she was high as shit

her partner? disappeared. nobody knows where they went.

mari was moved from the boarding school to a public school closer to where her mother could, begrudgingly, keep an eye on her

kinda spent the rest of her high school career p miserable, she gave up on her whole ~detective~ thing and resorted to making fake IDs for her fellow high schoolers

was drug-tested like every week or so, too

around this time her mental health and relationship w food got worse, she barely made it to graduation. took a gap year to recover, worked a buncha jobs but usually gets fired from them b/c she’s really fucking bad like most things besides her two (2) unconventional talents that are decidedly useless

came to ucla b/c her mother p much made her, her mother’s a legacy and that’s about the only reason why she got into delta gamma chi

doesn’t want ppl to know she was a loser and also like . fucked up her dad’s life a lil, b/c it was def a thing that made the news and the only reason why her name wasn’t in the articles was b/c she was a minor at the time

so she like...lies abt her childhood a lot

tells a lotta lil white lies b/c she just. doesn’t wanna b her

uuuhh wanted to do computer science bc she loves it but her parents were both like ‘lmao we’re not paying for shit if u do that’ bc they don’t think it’s very ~ladylike~ n they still want her to like. just be submissive and obedient n shit.

so she took up journalism b/c neither her parents think it’s like a real career and they just want her to find a husband n get married n settle down n stop being troublesome

fun fact: she has a scholarship for being lefthanded so that pays for Some of it esp b/c she’s an out of state student

still struggles a lil bit w food but she’s like. doing a lot better. goes to group therapy, probably

uuuh that’s it for now i think ??

OH SIKE !! she’s a writer for the newspaper and writes ADVICE columns on various topics b/c she’s good at offering advice but only when she can sit down n think abt it lmao

^^she goes by an alias b/c she just. doesnt want ppl to know its her idk she thinks its embarrassing

other than that she’s probably like ... doing campus tech support b/c that’s her current job but who knows how long that’ll last lmao

knowing her she’s going to accidentally switch into her phone sex voice (another, old job she doesn’t do anymore) n get fired for tryn seduce a man with ‘did u try turning it on and off again?’

OKAY i think that’s all lmao

personality

mari is just. awkward, man

i mean like...she’s sorta bad at talking to others a lot of the time??

like ppl r kinda like ‘how tf r u a delta gamma chi girl’ n she’s just like i mean u  h h h h 

prolly stutters a lil bit b/c she’s usually rly anxious

but she’s v v nice, like, she tries her hardest to be a good friend n everything

but she also kinda switches her personality to appeal to whoever she’s talking too ?? like she wants to be. likable. she’s not real w/ others v v often

if ur boujie yeah she’ll pretend to be boujie too

she prolly still sells fake IDs to high schoolers n some of her college peers, she has one herself n hasn’t gotten caught yet sooo

always fidgets like she can’t rly sit still often b/c she’s so nervous

is a lil bit of a stoner but i feel like u can’t ever tell tbh

a lil shy n hesitant at first i’d imagine, or maybe just always lmao

has a bit more of a personality once she sucks it up n gets closer to u but she’s always v v cautious abt befriending ppl just b/c she’s had a bad time w bullies n her one friend in life disappeared so like...bummer, y’kno?

can never say no. like, i dont think it’s in her vocabulary. she’s a yes gal.

will p much do anything u ask of her b/c she’s constantly seeking approval

can ramble a bit when she’s nervous which is always but she also apologizes like a lot.

squeaks like a mouse

present at parties but it’s always kinda like. who r u. n she has to remind everybody that she’s a sorority gal too

considers herself v v forgettable, like, just v unimportant

like she’s just rly insecure

still does computer shit n is still rly good at it but she hasn’t done anything srs w/ it so it’s just wasted potential

going to use her journalism degree to do investigative journalism and maybe escape her parents, eventually

she just. bends easily to other’s wills, y’know? she’s hashtag soft

even tho she’s like. shy n awkward n shit it doesn’t take a lot for her to like, laugh, or smile

like she tries rly hard to appear happy n an optimist n just like. unfettered

a lil plain jane we stan

i cant think of anything else but she’s. she’s a good kid

OH she’s rly good w numbers n math but like that’s abt it. she’s a whole dumbass on everything else sometimes

is bad w talking n giving advice like in person but like ?? in her column or ovr text or smth ? she’s good. she’s concise.

is a good team player/good w/ projects/etc. etc.

OH OKAY YEAH

she’s rly observant n b/c she’s a lil bit of a compulsive liar she can usually tell when ppl arent honest

depending on how close y’all r she’ll prolly crack down on ur bullshit

but she’s also timid so like who knows tbh

this isn’t a personality trait but she wears like medium hoop earrings all the time n it’s cute ok bye

OK OK LAST THING

she’s so. fucking. clumsy. she will bump into everything. she’ll bump into the air. fuck, she prolly falls over just standing straight. usually has bruises n scratches from just being a clumsy idiot

like she can b a lil ditzy y’know ?? doesn’t have much common sense, sometimes, n can b naive but idk it’s all rly dependent on her n who she’s w n just. how i end up playing her lmao

lovs vintage. is cute.

wanted connections

her roommate uwu

ppl she’s interacted w/ during her childhood !! she’s moved around a lot so like . . . . they could kno each other

mmm sorority sisters

um gimme a ride or die or like a best friend or smth PLS she needs more friends

just more friends in general. she’s awkward but she needs ‘em

?? a one night stand ?? she’s not really . . . known for hooking up w/ ppl but i think an accidental occurrence would b fun!

idk somebody for her to just. crush on from afar. prolly stutters whenever they come near or talk to her or smth

^^i mean like an unrequited crush

SOMEBODY USE HER ! RUIN HER !

FRIENDS OR FUCKING OR WHATEVER

fake friends too! use her for her ~kewl skillz~

bad influence

let her b a good influence

some kinda...skinny love idk what that means. a will they wont they. smth cute. smth pure

it’d be wild if her partner just popped up outta the blue like that b/c mari 100% thinks they were like killed by the government

ppl she gets high w n talk abt conspiracies w/ tbh

ppl she gives or has given advice to w her column pieces ! love it

idk partners in a class

enemies or smth. i want conflict.

a tutor for her dumbass

but also anybody who needs help in math? she can tutor u

idk like this we can work a lil smth smth out

i give u one penny, if u plot w me. pls. i am poor.

[nooowestayandgetcaught]

I was having a discussion with @glove23 about El and the future with Hopper and Mike and it kind of got out of control but okay we had Thoughts

El gets to meet her GRANDMA who is Hopper’s mom

she calls him “Jimmy”

THE GRANDMA WHO SPOILS HER ROTTEN

AND TAKES EL'S SIDE FOR EVERYTHING BC "WE GIRLS NEED TO STICK TOGETHER"

AND FEEDS HER EVERY 5 SECONDS

AND WANTS TO BE CALLED “NANA”

Nana loves hugs and overcooks and has 5 cats

El is terrified of them at first but the big lazy one flops on her and El's like ..........okay yes soft and warm (El does not have a good history with cats thanks to Brenner because she thinks she will either hurt them by accident or that they’ll hate her but they don’t hate her)

Nana shows El how to garden

El plants a HUGE garden!!! one side for vegetables and other parts for flowers and she learns about different kinds of bugs

she has a garden in front of the house for flowers and the garden out back is for veggies yes and if u hurt her plants,,,,,,good luck

SHE TELLS HOPPER SHE WANTS TO BE A BEEKEEPER AND HES LIKE DEAR GOD NO BUT THE BEES ARE SO IMPORTANT TO HER like Mike has to hear about it constantly

older El being Distraught to hear that the bees are dying out and is like “I’m getting six new hives you can’t fucking stop me”

Mike and El absolutely end up married and they ended up having a biological kid and an older adopted kid and like the biological kid was Kind Of an accident but a good one

they werent sure with El's endometriosis that she would ever conceive and it wasnt looking like the chances would ever be high

she also worried about if any biological kid from her would have Abilities and what if someone finds out and tries to take them like with what happened with El and Mike is just there and “it’s okay we stopped all the bad men all the labs are gone no one will take anyone from anyone like that again I won’t ever let that happen to you or them

it turns out yes the biological kid has Abilities but they’re minor to start like an infant tantrum only crackles the baby monitor's static

flickering the lights and objects floating comes later

the kid grows up and sees this stuff and her first thought isnt "i have powers!!!' instead its "ouR HOUSE IS HAUNTED FUCK"

AND THEYRE TERRIFIED TO TELL MIKE AND EL BECAUSE WHAT IF THEIR PARENTS DONT BELIEVE THEM

it’s mikes fault for telling their kids the ghost stories

he loves his ghost stories also he is Super Dramatic telling them and is very good at bedtime stories

the biological kid is like 'oh god the ghost is fOLLOWING ME ITS HAPPENING AT SCHOOL NOW' until it clicks bc the kid actually Makes something happen then its ‘IM A SUPERHERO!!!!! :DDDDD’

'what if telling mom and dad puts them in danger oh god now i gotta dye my hair and change my name and go into hiding.........................'

and El like Walks into the room one day floating a book in front of her while she eats and their kid is like....mom wtf

‘exCUSE ME??????' UR A SUPERHERO??? DID YOU TELL DAD OMG WHY ARE YOU KEEPING SECRETS HES GONNA FREAK OUT’

Mike walks in and is just like 

“oh come ON I thought we were telling them together”

THE   B E T R A Y A L   ON THIS KID'S FACE

the older adopted kid turns out to be a kid.....of another person that was taken by the labs........but they.....died and now the kid doesn’t have anyone and El is just like “NOPE NAH NOT LETTING THAT HAPPEN AGAIN” and scoops them up like El is pulling a Hopper

this kid has a form of clairvoyance that strengthens through direct touch as soon as puberty hits it’s not really a mindreader thing they but can read memories and emotions off people and objects

so you got a house full of a grown telepath/psychokinetic/biokinetic woman, a younger daughter with the same abilities and then an older daughter who is a clairvoyant

and then there’s Mike lmao he is just rolling with it

he loves his girls

all of his girls

and they Protect him because he is Soft 

Soft Dad Mike™

[benvoliio]

#squad, supernatural, and track and field in general! ufo and chess board for the gay aunts (idk who they are but I like them already). microscope for robo-mom (who I also already love), and contact and mixtape for the bad guy you don't have a name for yet!!!

THANK YOU I LOVE YOU alright buckle up kiddos this is gonna be a ride here we go

IN GENERAL

#squad: who's friends with who? what are the squad dynamics like?

okAY so for my main ocs the original #squad™️ is Eric, Marin, Jaden, and Kit! at the very beginning of my story each of them meets Christopher (who’s new in town) independently and decide that they simply Must be friends with this kid because everyone loves chris (i love chris). then they all figure out they met the same person and chris becomes part of their squad and also the fifth member of their band (that they desperately needed their band was average at best but now its Stellar) chirs & eric end up dating, and also marin and jaden end up in a poly relationship with someone from a slightly different social circle, Alexandria! kit doesnt end up with anyone romantically but theyre ok w that its cool

i have another, completely unrelated set of ocs that are part of a thing thats gonna be heavily inspired by r&j and that’s ben (bennie), charlie (charlotte), and jo (joanne)!! ben’s the mom friend (the human embodiment of the phrase “stressed out”), charlie has the stupid(ly fun albeit sometimes dangerous) ideas, jo is a total romantic with her head in the clouds (bet u cant guess who these three are based on lol)

spellbook: are any of your OC(s) supernatural? if so, what are they/what are their abilities?

uuh not really but i used to have a group of four ocs long abandoned that had elemental powers OH also i have an oc named peach who’s half human half weird avian creature alien idk and she has wings and telepathic powers as well as the ability to blast things w lightning-like energy and she also has a gf named jasper who belongs to @tycutiovevo​

track & field: which (if any) of your OCs are athletic? what sports to they play? which of your OCs would go HARD in P.E.?

jaden runs!! she was also on All The Teams back in middle school. alexandria is super strong and works out regularly and wears muscle tanks to show off her muscles. chris is below average at all sports excluding, for some reason, floor hockey.  bennie plays tennis to focus & relax and charlie used to be on the volleyball team until she got expelled lmao. the aunts are ex rescue agents sooo that requires some physical activity, Team Leader Winter is a current rescue agent (in kickass heels!!), the robomoms do a lot of flying but they’re robots so idk if that counts

THE GAY AUNTS™️

ufo: identity! what are some key identifying qualities or traits of your OC(s)? how to they identify in regards to gender/sexuality?

okAY! so The Aunts are how i refer to Eric’s adoptive moms, their names are Geneva and Manami and they’re an ex rescue agent couple who met through a rescue agency that goes and breaks kids out from sketchy underground organizations! both Eric and Jaden are kids they rescued and then adopted & they’re literally the best family ever i love them. the kids call them Neva and Nami instead of mom & mom lol UH ok identifying qualities.... Gene was recruited to the agency in france, speaks french english japanese and ancient greek (because why not), is a major math nerd and can hack into just about anything. she’s got big red hair that has a life of its own, warm dark brown skin and golden brown eyes and small scars across the bridge of her nose and the right side of her bottom lip. Nanami was recruited from japan, speaks japanese french, english, italian, chinese and korean. she’s an amazing mechanic and inventor and also loves to cook! she’s got black hair that she keeps a little shorter than your average pixie cut, dark brown eyes, a tiny tattoo of a rose just below her left eyebrow above her cheekbone, and she lost the lower half of her left leg in a particularly difficult rescue so she built herself a cool prosthetic leg, she also sometimes uses a sweet wheelchair she built that Geneva decked out with all sorts of awesome features!!! as for gender/sexuality: both of them identify as female and gay as hell also theyre in love and married

chess board: who is the most logical? or the schemer/planner?

honestly both of them are pretty logical, probably typically Manami comes up with a lot of good concepts and Geneva comes up with plans to make them work

ROBOMOM!!!

microscope: zoom in -- describe the little, insignificant details about an OC.

okay robomom is technically eric’s birth mother. i can explain that if you want but this is asking about insignificant details soooooo robomom is a robot specially designed and trained to nurture babies! she can fly! she became self aware and taught herself to speak using preprogrammed lullabies and “soothing responses”! she can also sing! despite belonging to the villains of my story she has Ultimate Faith in humanity and believes they are truly Good and i love her for it!!! robomom!!!

EVIL DUDE I DONT HAVE A NAME FOR

contact: how does your OC(s) feel about touch/physical contact? are they affectionate? if so, how do they display affection to others?

ohhh this is a good question for him thank you so he is seemingly just a somewhat important but also not the one In Charge member of the super terrible underground organization that is literally creating children in test tubes (Sketchy™️) but jokes on u he’s actually way worse than the person in charge of the whole thing. he is definitely not into touch unless it’s stabbing someone, literally just likes being cruel for the sake of being cruel, the only thing he feels anything resembling affection towards is his political goals and he will do anything to see them achieved including murder and torture. yeah. not a fun guy. (he stabs chris i hate him for that chris is sweet and has done nothing wrong)

mixtape: 5 songs that describe your OC(s) or songs they themselves would like.

Cold - Aqualung

bad_news - Bastille

Violence - The Unlikely Candidates

Two Evils - Bastille

My Way (MINOR KEY VERSION) - Frank Sinatra cover by Chase Holfelder 

[meet-me-at-kingsmeet]

Wedding Sabotage au Feat. Laurent and Nik teaming up

This is an outline of like????,,, one scene and yep lemme kno if u actaully would want this bc lmaoo......*wears sunglasses to hide the tears*

Auguste and Damen grew up together as friends and had brought the families together after a long time of low-key petty rivalry. Laurent grew up with Damen but was much younger than both Damen and Auguste. Damen had all the qualities of a hero from his books (that and he was *que 11 year old blushing smaurent* “super pretty”). Well this crush never went away, to Laurent’s dismay, because he knew Damen would always see him as a little kid.

Laurent was 19, turning 20, and finally going to try and tell Damen his feelings. To which gets stopped dead in his tracks when he comes home and Damen is there, sweetly tipsy with a beautiful blonde on his arm.

Laurent is very bitter, and after two years he is, how do you say, extremely bitter.

Laurent is at the engagement party for Damen and Jokaste.

He is standing next to Auguste, in a circle of party goers who are all celebrating and congratulating Damen

Laurent is in a particularly foul mood

Nikandros who is also in this small circle of “assholes” (as he would put it) he is also a very bitter best friend

Anyways Damen leaves to go find Jokaste (she walked away to talk to other guests or something) and he kisses Laurent on the cheek before leaving and drags Auguste with him

Laurent’s mood worsens,,,, he gotta fight w someone and Nik is the closest victim

Ahh Nik and Laurent what a relationship they have had

Nik has always been Damen’s like,, bff, and Laurent was more of a nuisance than anything

He was rude, uncaring of Nik, and would steal Damen away if given the opportunity. Nik knew he was a smart kid, but he was a snake

Laurent starts picking fights with Nik “Has Damen decided best man? I bet he has. It’s not you, his wedding needs to maintain sophistication and not have some poor, bankrupt businessman’s son represent the esteemed Theomedes name” or some rude bullshit like that

“Well I’ll just have to make sure you sit in the back Laurent, wouldn’t want a jealous, insecure child interrupting such an esteemed wedding”

A verbal (and very cruel) fight ensues

Laurent’s uncle comes up placing his hand on Laurent’s shoulder as is like “Laurent don’t make such a scene. These actions are why forming relationships with you is so difficult.” ((fuck the regent 5ever))

Laurent needs to breathe and heads to the restroom that’s in a separate hallway of Damen’s luxurious mansion

At the bathrooms he hears Jokaste and Kastor speaking in hushed tones so he creeps up to listen in and theyre standing very close

Staying stuff like “I know you’re upset, calm down, baby I’m handling this okay? This will work out if we stick with the plan and I marry Damen-” u kno crap like that and Laurent is like ‘this bitch wtf tryna fuck w my man aw hell nah’ but in a more laurent way

He’s actually really upset for Damen

He heads back to the party and is walking through the crowd, trying to find Damen

He gets turned around and is back where he came out that hallway and makes eye contact with Jokaste who was walking out with Kastor

His eyes narrow and Jokaste tries to keep her best poker face and goes over to talk to Laurent who is stiff

It’s one thing to fight with Nik, Damen knew they didn’t get along and he more saw it as harmless bickering, it was another to fight with Jokaste, and while Laurent had the tongue of a viper, Jokaste had the tongue of Laurent, but a mind similar to his Uncle’s (in the sense of control and manipulation) and she has six years of street smarts.

(I see Damen/Jokaste/Nik as all very street smart while Laurent is booksmart, which to me makes sense bc Laurent didn’t have a lot of social interaction when he was a teenager, besides manipulation and abuse)

But Damen appears out of nowhere, and Laurent can feel his heart hurt bc he spent 10 minutes looking for him, but when Jokaste appeared he was there, instantly, and Laurent couldn’t help but wonder what it was like to have someone like Damen love him. Being greeted with smiles and eyes full of love.

Now he was just pissed (both at Jokaste for ruining a good thing and at himself for having a dumb thought that anyone would love him even a fraction of what Damen felt for Jokaste)

Nik was at the lavish bar and his drink (a straight shot of Vodka) was set down, only to be lifted up and thrown back by Laurent who sat down

Que Nik’s super offended and annoyed with Laurent face (yes Laurent has earned his very own countenance on Nikandros’ face) (he’s almost proud)

“ You can’t hold your liquor, Laurent” “you can’t hold a relationship but I don’t say anything”

Anyways they start talking and slowly they both realize they don’t want Damen to marry Jokaste

“We break them up”

“You can’t be serious, Laurent”

“She isn’t good for him and we both know she’s fucking Kastor.”

“and Damen would never listen to us.”

Laurent nods and this “And he would never listen to us. Too blinded by loyalty and love. A dog won’t listen when you tell him to bite their owner even if their owner beats them.”

“Too loyal.” Laurent nods again at this and they’ve both relaxed together, probably for the first time forever. “I don’t want to hurt Damen. I just...want to protect him”

“Jokaste will hurt him.”

“So we’re forced to choose what kind of hurt he feels?”

“Not forced. We’re in the trolley dilemma. Let one person get hit or five?”

“Who does Damen represent? The one or the five?”

Laurent doesn’t have an answer for this. What he does know is that he needs to stop the wedding and end the engagement. But, he can’t do it alone, without Nikandros. (He could but the risk of failure or getting caught diminishes with Nikandros)

Laurent orders two shots, him and Nik hold them up to each other. A serious countenance on both their faces “To Damen,” Laurent says.

“To Damen,” and they hit their glasses together and throw back the vodka

Wedding Sabotage au---engagement party part 2ish??

Damen comes over, drunk and happy at the engagement party and drapes himself over Nik, making kissy faces, trying to kiss him because “c’mere Nikky I love you so much”

“Damen hi” Nikandros is tense and Laurent gives him the look, u kno the one that’s like ‘if you dont relax i’ll make u and it won’t be pleasant’

“I saw you guys throw some cheers and drink,” Damen is only slightly slurring, swaying, and doesn’t seem to want to go away anytime soon. “How could you without me?”

“We through cheers to you kiddo”

“To me?” Damen lets out a giggle along with a dopey grin. “You guys are,” Damen presses his face into Nik’s ((I have Nik and Damen headcanoned as affectionate in the same way that girls traditionally are)) “the greatest.”

Damen takes a breath and stares at Laurent while resting his face against Nikandros, who is holding him up and patting his shoulder

Laurent: “What, Damen?” his words are tense

“Nothing. I enjoy the feeling I get when I look at you”

Laurent’s brain is like: skjkdsfgjdfshbgdjvhdj,hbd

Sorry no, its more like: SJKSGDJHGHGJHGHFDHDJGDGHKDSJH

So he just doesn’t reply and turns away and Damen is just like “remember when you were a kid? Like seven, and you would beg for me to pick you up but once you were up you refused to be put back down?”

And laurent is like ‘oh my god are you really going to do this now??’ but he just looks back over at damen with furrowed eyebrows damen is just like

“You’re gonna find someone whose gonna want to pick you up and never put you down. Just like Auguste and I.”

And Laurent is now very done with life and getting hit w a bus doesnt seem all too bad so he goes to leave

But laurent is petty and lives for drama

So of course b4 he goes

He gracefully strides up to Nik and Damen, Damen smiles

Laurent grabs Nikandros’ face with one hand (Nik is wide eyed but cant do nothing cause his hands are full) and says seductively “My place at eight, tomorrow” and strides out of the mansion

As soon as he exits though he feels sick and hurt and wants to puke so he texts Auguste who comes out immediately “do you want me to stay home with you?” “No just drive me home and go back to the party. I need to be alone”

MEANWHILE lmao Damen is like “hahahaha thats *eye twitch* interesting ummm Nik???? That Laurent would say thay hahaa r u going on a date or soemthing?????”

And Nik is like “uuuuhhh maybe?” bc he is like ‘is this part of the plan or????’

Damen is NOT jealous

Except that he is and is no longer in the mood for cuddles

Damen “im not jealous but ummm, excuse me sweetie :) u cant date laurent”

Nik is just ????????

wants to go home he can’t handle these children and is very tired

[bpdkipland]

literally do them all lmao For the strawberry: a lizard person, a little gray alien, an orb, and the Burger King himself For mr horse: ur opinion on the Charmin toilet paper bears

thank you so much anon fuc ily 

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone? 

yikes startin out w a hard one then um when i was a kid i had such a stressful emotional time that it caused me to wet the bed until i was like 12 or 13? it was fuct up 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be? 

probs my crush or my friend jacob bc he gives gr8 hugs ♥♥

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why? 

Lugia bc when i was little i had a card that was all holographic and it had lugia on it. i never really got super into pokemon lol 

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like? 

oh god it would be a mess 

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had? 

honestly the only one coming to mind is the one i had as a kid where this creature opened up its head and ate my sister and im still scared of going outside in the dark to this day bc of it 

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend? 

i have multiple best friends but theyre mostly all there for me whenever i need them? like one time jacob drove from the other side of town to give me earbuds bc i had lost mine 

😘 talk about your crush or partner 

GOD my crush is a literal angel???? like????? hoy fuk i love her so much she’s so sweet and kind and caring and she just radiates light and love and i got to kiss her on new years ♥♥♥♥

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back? 

depends on HOW rude they were. like,... i was nice to my ex for so long lol 

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!) 

i like my nose, freckles, and the fact that im Nice

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it? 

well its being abandoned by everyone i love and guess what thats starting to happen and im coping lmao

🎁 what never fails to make you happy? 

this video

💙 what annoys you about some people? 

if they chew with their fockin mouth open i die 

😤 do you get angry easily? 

nope i actually am pretty slow to anger lol 

🐇 what do you always daydream about? 

do intrusive thoughts of people coming on to me count 

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change? 

well no offense but republicans would be illegal. sent off to an island not allowed to communicate with the rest of the world lol, strawberries would be in season year round, and weed would be legal bc i cant think of anything else 

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry? 

kiss: orb ♥♥befriend: lizard person kill: k i l l t h e b o r g (burger king) marry: gray alien 

✈️ what is your dream city and why? 

ive not been to any good cities so i dont know 

☕️ talk about your ideal day 

hanging out with all my friends, they dont all hate each other, we all watch movies in a big cuddle puddle and im in the middle of it ♥♥

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert? 

definitely an ambivert. 

💧 when was the last time you cried? 

fuck????? i dont remember???? my eyes welled up yesterday does that count 

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment 

in no particular order: 1. Come On Eileen 2. Insomnia (by Dirty Heads) 3. Birdhouse in Your Soul4. Ana Ng5. Moving On (by James)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why? 

pyrokinesis so i can light all abusers on fire lol 

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say? 

Listen, kid, there’s a reason you hate yourself and there’s a reason you wanna die all the time but lemme tell you, it ain’t worth it. those hospital stays aren’t worth it. you might not believe it but you’re over 250 days clean! didn’t think you’d make it this far, huh? you also made it to 18 years of age. you’re gonna be okay, kid. 

💚 who are you jealous of and why? 

myself when i’m in a nice mood bc like??? shut yo nice ass up 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why? 

bravery honestly. i have reasons but i dont have words for the reasons rn 

🙊 what are you ashamed of? 

um that secret i told the fuck

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn? 

i know English and tiny bits of French and i’d love to become fluent in French and Italian? 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be? 

i wanna be best friends with mike wazowski 

☁️ talk about your dream universe. 

???????

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today? 

it’s a bit late but did do some dishes for my mom cleaned off my desk so i could start painting again :> 

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why? 

new c/r/yptid: Lance Cube.

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike 

y’know when ur eyes just start crying when the rest of u is fine?? like wow i didnt know i was supposed to be emotional but ig???? 

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately 

i’m anxious because my doctors office isnt giving my medical records to the michigan works people im working with so they cant open a case for me, making it so they cant help me find a job bc of my mental illnesses 

   🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

 i wanted to be a veterinarian but now i wanna be a zookeeper 

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods? 

i loooove peach rings and sour patch kids and !!!! strawberry shortcake 

🍑 what are you obsessed with? 

animal crossing tbh i love it so much 

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed? 

i get auditory hallucinations and i just start crying no matter what stressed mood im in. angry stressed? crying. happy stressed? crying. anxious stressed? crying 

😪 what are you sick of? 

having kidney disease??? ?

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker? 

i mean? sometimes? but yall gotta talk me into going on roller coasters 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have? 

red beet eggs are my LIFE if i could eat them daily i would die, peppers are fucking gross, and tea is fucking gross unless its Tea 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person? 

i like to think i am a good person? 

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies? 

draw & sing!!!! 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself? 

You Ain’t No Saint by Aaron West and The Roaring Twenties 

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

I’m annoying. I plan on improving it by shutting my ass up 

 🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

i draw people and eyes mainly. and the occasional hand 

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams? 

i’m too shy and bisexual for this 

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you? 

fuck i dont remember i just know i have the same one as Fox Mulder and thats why it fits me lmao

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite! 

...u didnt give me 3 ppl.... 

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why? 

mothman because he’s my boyfriend 

🐴 opinion on __? (Charmin Toilet Paper Bears) 

they wipe my ass for me 

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person? 

i used to be. now im not so sure. 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them. 

yall i’ve only read 3 books 

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i usually mope around and sleep a lot. it doesnt help usually. 

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad? 

Death Anxiety 

🌍 which country do you live in? 

USA! 

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words 

needy, petty, and damaged 

🐵 which quotes changed you? 

“What’s your Fursona” - @thebpdevil“Your job is to break death’s heart” 

💭 do you keep a diary? 

I keep a bullet journal!! i think thats kinda similar 

💫 who inspires you? 

honestly my dad??? but also idk :/ 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why? 

hell YES because i am one

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like? 

department store clearance section & band merch 

🎬 what are some of your favourite films? 

Heathers, Taken, Girl Interrupted, and if u watch the OA in one shot it counts as a movie i’m counting it 

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory? 

Throwing mashed potatoes at my sister. 

🐱 what’s your dream pet like? 

Cat snake (ferret) who loves to cuddle and doesnt bite :-) 

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be? 

probably???? um???? Patrick Stump or Pete Wentz honestly. 

HOO THIS WAS FUN AND IT TOOK OVER AN HOUR TO DO THANK YOU