#and they simultaneously think 'they can't fuckimg do anything' and 'why don't they just do it? they're just lazy'
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and like, I know my worth as a person isn't tied to how productive I am
but goddamn do it feel like that sometimes
#no worrie. just need to scream into the void for a hot minute#I find it so difficult to complain about the position I'm in to friends that work their fucking ass off and are also struggling with money#and I find it difficult to be aroumd my father#or my sister and stephdad#I'm eldest child but I fucking feel like the baby sibling that's just fucking useless#and everyone has to look out for me and include me in things even if they don't want to#especially family feels like they think I'm just a pathetic little creature#and they simultaneously think 'they can't fuckimg do anything' and 'why don't they just do it? they're just lazy'#kicking screaming crying throwing up#talking to my therapist is not enough. I need to walk into the woods and decay between the trees
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