#and they don't get any interaction with professor or alumni to get a sense of the career

[im-getting-help]

me: im so tired, im not going to do shit this year, just bare minimum and that's it.

also me: "heeeyy [name of the coordinator of my career]!! i have a proposal. I was thinking we could do more for the stand of the career on the festival week. I would like to work with some professors to create games or presentations so we can interact with potential alumni..."

[realtalk-princeton]

i'm a potential '25 deciding between stanford and princeton. i really love both schools but i've heard intimidating things about how social life at pton can be competitive, and the concept of eating clubs feels a tiny bit cliquey (but i can also see how eating clubs foster a really strong sense of community!) would you say people at pton are happy? is it easy to form close relationships/make friends? is there anything you don't like about pton? (why did you choose pton?) thank you so much!

Response from Ocean:

It’s true that certain aspects of social life at Princeton are competitive.  However, I wouldn’t say that social life as a whole is competitive.  There are certain “prestigious” clubs that require bicker or an interview/application process, but by and large most clubs are open to everyone and it’s very possible to just decline to participate in those competitive types of activities.  They’re not essential or central to Princeton life in that sort of way. 

Eating clubs are a little bit different.  I haven’t really noticed them to be “cliquey”, exactly, as everyone I know who is in an eating club has many friends in other eating clubs or not in eating clubs at all.  Although there is certainly pressure around that aspect, I don’t think it’s any different than typical Greek life on most campuses -- maybe even less so because club members don’t actually live at the eating club, and aren’t required to do fundraisers or volunteer work together in the way a fraternity or sorority might.  

I would say it’s pretty easy to find and make new friends.  It’s a small community (slightly smaller than Stanford), so you see a lot of the same people over and over.  If you run into someone from your class at the dining hall, for example, it’s easy to sit down with them and strike up a conversation.  Would I say people are happy?  Right now I’m mostly noticing a lot of stress and depression among students, mostly mourning the lack of a normal school year, what we lost to the pandemic, and so on.  But I wouldn’t say we are more depressed or stressed than the average student at a prestigious institution.  During my mostly-normal freshman year, I was mostly very happy.  

As for things I don’t like about Princeton... well, you pretty much hit the nail on the head with the competitive aspects of social life.  I also wish there were better support systems in place for students who are struggling, but I think this is an “America’s healthcare system is shit” problem rather than a Princeton-specific problem.  

I chose to come here mostly because of the financial aid package, to be honest.  I didn’t get into any of the other competitive schools I applied for so it was basically Princeton or my local university, and Princeton was cheaper and much better quality.  Other contributors feel free to add on!

Response from TNTina:

honestly although this post might get quite long, i think it would probably be better the more contributors respond to this, because everyone’s experience is unique and everyone has different things they like and dislike about princeton.

i chose princeton because it was the best school i got into - i did not know prior to college what i wanted to study, and princeton is on a holistic level a very well rounded school. i still think it’s a very well rounded school as a whole, but if there are specific fields you think you might want to go into, i advise you consider this more heavily in how you choose a school. princeton, for example, doesn’t offer b. arch degrees. i’ve also heard that pre-med here is a big grind, and the grading is harsher compared to other similar schools. if there are specific professors you admire, consider that - i have a friend in east asian studies who gushed about a specific professor who was a total legend in the field and she was able to engage him in one on one interactions at princeton. if you’re interested in an experience like bridge year, also consider that. to top it off, i’ll just comment a few things that i think are unique to princeton that i like and that i don’t like. 

positive: access to professors - i may just be really lucky but my major has just been one of the most positive aspects of princeton to me. my professors have been overwhelmingly accessible and accommodating; they have checked in on me when i’ve struggled with personal problems, they have arranged meetings with me on the weekend last minute; princeton’s undergraduate focus really shines through. 

alumni connections: princeton does reunions (like the actual event) like no other school. truly, i think the alumni network is by far the strongest of any school in this country. i can’t speak for experiences at other schools but there have been times i have needed advice and reached out to alumni - i’ve been lucky for sure, but there has not been a single alum who hasn’t replied to me and devoted a considerable amount of time to talk to me. the internship i’m doing this summer i probably got in large part because i vibed with an alum i got in touch with.

neutral: single major: you can’t double major at princeton, and you wouldn’t have the time to even if you wanted to. in retrospect, i definitely wanted to double major if i went anywhere else, but without the single major policy i also don’t think wouldn’t have found the department i’m currently in.

independent work/thesis: you should really think this one through. thesis is mandatory for all undergraduate students, and a good amount of your time here will be spent doing research. this is a huge grind and a bit of a pain for a lot of people but it is also really really beneficial for grad schools, and i’ve heard from several alumni that it is also really impressive to employers (at least in some fields). it is also just a very unique intellectual experience. 

negative: eating clubs. i really am not a fan of the eating club system for several reasons. i do not think they are ‘cliquey’ necessarily, but at the very least they pose logistical challenges - if you are in different eating clubs than your friends or you’re not in an eating club, in your later years it becomes hard to get meals with friends. it’s also logistically difficult for underclassmen, and i think it exacerbates an artificial class year divide, as most upperclassmen eat in eating clubs and underclassmen will often have limited opportunity to eat with their upperclassmen friends. the eating clubs also pose an absurd cost (the main reason i did not join a club). and despite how much they might deny it, each eating club does have a different reputation and thus has a tendency to attract people who vibe with that reputation. eating clubs also have extracurricular/social affiliations to a degree, and i think this also exacerbates a tendency for people to just group with people who are similar to themselves. this is not to say that people don’t do this naturally in society and at other schools though. on a more positive note though, i will say though that i think ocean is right about the fact that people do not typically identify very strongly with their eating clubs and their eating affiliation does not define them in the way that a frat or sorority might. if i had to choose, i would definitely prefer 70% of people being in an eating club than 70% of people being in greek life.

best of luck, you have some fantastic choices - and i really think you can’t go wrong here!