#and these pictures slowly cycling on screen like an endless slide show

[buckleydiazmp4]

for @emeraldcas follower celebration!

day 1 - prompt: words unspoken

1.3k words

read below or on ao3

Tonight, Dean's brain has decided it's the perfect time for a little screening of Everything I Regret Saying (Or Not Saying) To The Love Of My Life.

Dean's not good with words. Never has been. Sometimes when he was a kid, he'd spend days without talking. By now, he's figured he just has to show instead of tell, otherwise he'll send every relationship he has flying off a cliff simply because he doesn't know how to say what he's thinking.

With Sammy it got easier eventually. He's learned to understand him without words, to know what he's thinking, how he's feeling. Dean's sure Sam knows how much he loves him, even if he rarely tells him. He's very grateful for that.

With Cas, though, things are different. It's not that he's better with words, it's actually the opposite. He wants to tell him so much stuff that he ends up not saying anything he truly wants to. And then they end up hurting each other, because neither of them knows their way with words. If there was a prize for miscommunication, they'd certainly win first place.

So, every time Dean says something wrong, he feels like a teenager with an embarrassing crush, mulling over his own words, regretting them even years after having said them. It's like an endless cycle of self-loathing, which he's an expert on.

Sometimes it's not even his long, big speeches that have the most meaning behind them, but the little sarcastic quips here and there, or the small, quiet sentences spoken in moments of uncertainty. Those are the ones that rewrite themselves in his heart, like lines of a poem carved in stone.

"Cas, we've talked about this. Personal space." I want you to be close to me all the time but I'm scared you'll just want to walk away.

"Morning, sunshine. Want some coffee?" I love that you're here. This is your home.

"I'd rather have you. Cursed or not." There is nothing that could ever change the fact that I love you.

"I need you." I love you no matter what.

"Of course I forgive you." I never wanted you to leave.

Then there's a look of sorrow, or a hug, a pat on the shoulder, a mixtape...

There's always something, and yet that something never seems to be the words that have been lodged in his throat all through the past decade.

Holding the weight of his regrets, Dean lays back on his memory foam mattress and stares at the ceiling. He pictures Cas' eyes from memory. The way they droop when he's tired, and sparkle when he's curious. The way they squint when he's angry or thoughtful, almost cartoonish. I love him, he thinks, with an ironic chuckle. I love him, and I'm never gonna be able to tell him.

Just as he's about to start round two of his self-loathing ritual, there's a knock on the door.

"Yeah, come in."

Cas walks in, wearing a pair of Dean's plaid pajama pants and a Zepp t-shirt. He's holding two steaming mugs that carry the smell of ginger, and his hair is all over the place.

"What's so funny?" Cas asks when Dean starts laughing.

"Dude, you look like a hedgehog."

Cas does not seem to be happy about Dean's comparison, judging by the squint of his eyes. But that just makes it funnier, so Dean smiles deviously at him until the angry facade is gone, replaced by soft, ocean-blue eyes.

"Dean, it's four in the morning. Why are you not sleeping?"

"Well, I could ask you the same thing."

Cas sighs. "I was making some tea." He says, handing one of the mugs to Dean. It warms up his hands when he holds it.

"At the crack of dawn? Sounds like someone's got a bad case of insomnia." He says it like it's a joke, but he's worried. Again, not good with words.

"Yeah. Maybe I do." Cas says in a raspy voice.

Before regretting it, Dean pats the spot beside him two times, signaling for Cas to sit down. Cas walks the short steps towards the bed and sits down slowly, careful not to spill his scalding tea mug on himself. Then, he lays his head back against the headboard and closes his eyes.

Because Dean has no self-control, he scoots closer to the former angel and stares. His eyes trace the slope of his nose and the curve of his eyelashes, and the way his jawline is pointing upwards. He suddenly gets the urge to trace it with his fingers, to feel the stubble growing there. A wave of longing hits him like it's done a thousand times before, and he does nothing to stop it.

A second later, Cas' breath startles Dean out of his internal thinking. That's when he realizes how close their faces actually are. His first instinct is to move away, maybe say some joke about personal space, but he finds himself unable to move an inch. Cas is just watching him intently and shamelessly, and it occurs to Dean that maybe he's not the only one who likes to observe his best friend like he's a renaissance painting.

Since his body has decided to become a full-time statue, all Dean can do is stare at the wooden headboard next to Cas' face. Then he clears his throat quietly and replaces what he wants to say with something else, the way he always does.

"Maybe you could, um, stay here. Y'know, to help with your sleeping problems. A different mattress might, um. It might help."

Cas takes a little while to answer, long enough for Dean to start panicking. But when he's about deflect his offer with a joke or a change of topic, Cas nods. They're still close enough that his hair tickles Dean's forehead when he moves his head.

"Yeah. It might help." Cas says, matching Dean's small, tense tone of voice.

Dean's brain stopped working the minute Cas sat on his bed, but the rest of his body doesn't seem to have gotten the memo. It's moving on its own, and a second later, his forehead is touching Cas'. He feels electricity run through it, like his skin is made of lightning. If Cas weren't human now, Dean wouldn't dismiss that possibility. Dean does his best work to assess the situation, but all he's coming up with is a repetitive whisper of Cas' name inside his otherwise empty head. He does the one thing he's never been able to do, which is voice his exact thoughts out loud.

"Cas..." he whispers, feeling their breaths mix together.

Cas has always been braver than him, so he's the one who closes the gap. He presses his lips against Dean's, so ghost-like and soft that he's not sure it's real. To test that theory, Dean's brain finally restarts with a jolt, and then he's pushing forward, deepening the kiss, which he's now sure is actually happening.

Cas returns the kiss like he's been drowning for ages and can finally breathe again. The electricity Dean felt when their foreheads touched is dialed up to a hundred where their lips are sliding against each other, like tiny little fireworks exploding against his skin. Despite the surreal feeling of kissing the man he's been in love with for ages, it also feels like home. Cas tastes like ginger and honey, and that cherry chapstick Dean bought for him at the grocery store.

Dean traces Cas' jawline with his thumb the way he was imagining just a few minutes earlier, which pulls a sigh out of him. The stubble tickles his skin, and it feels so good he thinks he might explode. A million words unspoken fly through Dean's mind, but he doesn't need any of them at the moment.

They break the kiss to take air, but their foreheads stay in place, aligned with each other perfectly. Cas smiles, and it's nearly blinding. I love you, Dean thinks, except this time, he's sure he'll be able to tell him in the future.

[blueberryrock]

Hey guys, umm here is the twelfth chapter. I had answered an ask today and it made me remember to put this up, I'll hopefully put the rest up this week, but enjoy!

(Blue's pov)

This is taking forever.

I impatiently drum my fingers on my thighs, I've been sitting here in this very uncomfortable chair in the waiting room of the medical wing.

For some reason, it's been unusually packed with a bunch of different cracked gems. This is of course very, very, concerning, but I can't do anything about it until after my stupid appointment.

Which I apparently can't miss for the damn world! I groan and lean my head against the back of the chair. I glance over at an empty chair where Yellow would be.

She is once again off planet, this time, she took White with her to investigate what's or who's been cracking and almost shattering all these gems.

I asked her if I could come with her, cause most of the gems that have been badly damaged are from one of my old colonies and court. But she very quickly shut that down.

I highly suspect that it is the work of a somewhat large rebellion that's been going on, but if I try to talk to any of the cracked gems, they either have no memory of what happened or they just poof themselves over and over again from the sheer memory of what happened to them.

So the only information we've gotten is that it's been happening on one of my colonies. I nervously run my hand through my brushed, soft, hair.

I let out a soft gasp as one of the little gemlings kick me, I look down at my baby bump, I smirk as I lightly make circles on it with my nail.

"You're impatient too, aren't you" I coo "hopefully just a few more minutes, then I get to see your colors" I look up at the clock behind the little receptions desk "and I should ask the medical pearl if we can take any pictures..." I mutter to myself.

Finally, a few more minutes go by and the medical pearl calls me to a different room.

The new room has dark blue walls, grey tiled floors, and one big metal table and no waiting chairs, it also has the scanner, waiting to be used.

I carefully push myself onto the cold table and lie down, I groan as soon as my stiff back hits the table. The small green medical pearl climbs onto the table, I effortlessly phase away part of my dress so my baby belly can be scanned.

The small pearl tucks away a strand of her green hair behind her ear as she climbs onto me. She empties an entire bottle of freezing cold gel and tosses the bottle on the ground.

The little gem hops off of me and runs to grab the scanner. "Hey, umm I have a question" I softly shift on the table.

"Hmm?" The medical pearl replies as she tries to untangle the wire.

"Don't you need to angle the screen or something? So you know, I can see the gemlings?" I ask.

"What? Oh yes" the pearl's soft voice floats through the almost empty room. She grabs the side of the scanner and turns it towards me "is that better?"

I simply nod. The medical pearl finally untangles the scanner wires and climbs back onto me. She spreads the gel around with her hand before she uses the scanner.

I shiver from the still very cold gel, the screen part starts to make a noise so my eyes instantly snap towards the screen.

To my amazement, both gemlimgs are surprisingly large, since the screen is almost black and white, I can barely see a hint of color on both of them. The larger of the two is a very light shade of blue with a hint of green, and the smaller one is a dark shade of green with splotches of very light green.

I slightly frown when I look at the second gemling. She...she shouldn't be two different colors. Puzzled, I stare at the small pearl, looking for answers.

She shakily meets my eyes, "I-I'm sorry Blue Diamond, I've never seen this happen before" she tucks a few strands of her mossy green hair behind her ear "I'm going a-assuming that, when your two gemlimgs combined, their colors merged?"

"I'm not too sure, but congratulations, you still have fairly healthy gemlings, and you know what colors they are so planning their room shouldn't be a problem," and with that done, the small medical pearl quickly leaves the room before I can even get a word out.

I scoff, what an unprofessional pearl. I push myself up and immediately phase the rest of my dress on. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about her.

I gently and slowly slide off the metal table, once-off I immediately head for the door. I wrap the veil that I brought with me tightly around me. I waste no time walking to my room, not even bothering to say hello to anyone.

As soon as those big doors behind me close, I unwrap the dark blue veil and throw it on the carpet. I quickly summon a floating blue screen and I hurriedly send Yellow and White a message about the gemlings and what little the pearl said.

I smack my head with my hand, I completely forgot to ask the pearl is it is possible to send some pictures to Yellow and White. Oh well...

As soon as that's done, I lightly toss myself onto my very soft bed. I bury myself under the velvety blue sheets, I sigh and close my eyes.

"Next week will be somewhat exciting, cause next week Yellow will finally let us go off-planet alone!" I exclaim to no one but myself and the gemlings.

I trace large circles on my baby belly, they become smaller and slower as I unexpectedly fall asleep.

(The next week)

I let out a bored sigh as I scroll through what seems like endless reports, more than half of them are bull-shit excuses for "reports", telling me that I'm "sooo" lucky that I'm having gemlings. Usually, Blue Pearl and a few other gems help manage the reports that come flooding in, but a lot of congratulations still manage to pass through...

But nevertheless, I must read most of them, and I suspect that Blue Pearl and the other gems allow so many of the stupid "reports" as a means to cheer me up.  But I don't need a constant reminder that I have a due date (or a death date as I once called it).

"Pearl, Pyrobes," they boredly glance at me "You all are dismissed. Feel free to take the rotation off" I dismiss them, they nod and quietly leave me alone with my thoughts.

I glumly look out the window to my left, and for miles upon miles all I see are beautiful blue trees with gold leaves with blooming purple flowers.

I look back at my screen and ignore all the reports, I decide to pull up a very old report about this planet.

Planetoid name: Planet 2064 (aka The Oasis)

Location: Around one thousand light-years away from homeworld

Abandoned: Yes

Reason for abandonment (skip over if it was successful): no more materials, to many organics, and large mountains will randomly produce a green liquid that can melt anything

Water coverage: 22% water 78% land

Organics (skip over if none have been found): a lot of organic plants, and a lot of unintelligent flying organics that can breathe water

Diamond ownership: Blue Diamond

How many moons: Three, one with organic plants, and two are mainly just water

Most materials: Silicon, iron, copper, and other minerals. Used to be good for making lapis lazulis and possibly sapphires

Notes: My diamond, the peridots have said that we are running low on materials and the huge mountains that are scattered across the land are filled to the brim with a slimy green liquid that can melt anything, even gems! (But somehow the organics that walk or fly this planet seem to be immune to the liquid so, I and a few others have managed to capture a few to study). So, we have left this planet and await your orders.

-Calcite cut 9l3

I get a random urge to quickly dismiss the screen and get up from my throne, I slam my hand on the panel that opens the doors in front of me. I am greeted by three flights of stairs. I shuffle carefully down the stairs, trying not to slip on my good dress or anything else.

Once i'm on the ground floor I spot Pearl sitting in a chair sketching. "Pearl" I call her name, she slowly looks up at me "I'm going out for a short walk, message me if there are any real emergencies" she silently nods as I open the blue doors in front of me.

I haven't even taken a step outside and I'm already drenched in sweat from how humid the dense jungle is. I let out a slight groan as I put my long light blue hair into a ponytail.

I shift my dress to make it looser then before and I end it just below my knees. I finally start my walk into the muggy jungle, I cautiously make sure that I don't step on any little organics that might be around and so I don't trip on any of the roots of the blue trees.

I could very easily walk around the entire moon in about a few cycles, the moon itself is rather small but with it's very dense (but pretty) jungles, it'd probably take me about a rotation to actually do it. I continue to go deeper and deeper into the jungle, I stop when I come across a small river.

I carefully maneuver my way onto the river bed. The water is an unusually dark shade of blue with very reflective rocks at the bottom.

I stay there for a few minutes until a twig snaps behind me, I whip my head around to where the noise came from. I quickly scramble I onto my feet, my hand hovers over my gem, itching to summon my weapon.

A few seconds go by as anxiety seeps into me, this time the noise of some foliage being moved makes me quickly summon my weapon and turn my entire body towards the second noise.

"Hello?" I nervously call out. I get into a defensive position with my long, blue, scythe. This time it only has one deadly sharp watery blade, but at the end of the long handle is a short little knife.

No one answers, so I lower my defensive position but not my guard. The jungle gets eerily quiet, but the running water seems to be drowning out any other noises.

I slowly turn to face the creek, my nerves are still going crazy, screaming at me that I should run away or do something that isn't just standing there.

And then it all happens very quickly, the second my eyes move down to the small stream a gem lunges at me, but I easily slice it in half.

As soon as it poofs more gems come out of the surrounding trees and bushes. Most I recognize as old quartzes and agates that used to serve me and the other diamonds, they quickly surround me but I slice through a line of them. But more seem to pour out of the forest.

I sigh, as I know that this isn't going to go well for any of us.

"What do you want from me?"  I cry. Many of them pull out their weapons, most have swords or whips, while the ones in the far back have bows.

"Isn't it obvious?" A fairly large four-armed gem steps out from the crowd. She has three eyes, one black and two blue. Her long curly, black and baby blue, hair stops right at her waist.

On her chest is a gem that resembles a sapphire, but the colors are all wrong. Instead of the gorgeous blue it would probably be, it has stripes of black in it. And on her left forearm is another gen, but it resembles a black jasper with stripes of blue in it. And her outfit is a mixture of the old quartz uniforms with a blue diamond on it and a mixture of the sapphire's dress, giving them a short striped skirt.

"N-no. Not really" I try to mask my ever-growing fear.

"Well, then, allow me to explain" the Jasper and Sapphire fusion draws her own weapon, which probably hasn't changed besides the color. Out of the jasper's gem, they pull out a long spikey whip.

"Me and my, heh, friends here" she gestures to the other gems that surrounds me "have decided to riot, or better yet! We've decided to start our own little rebellion!"

"Although it's not very small" she adds as she scratches her chin.

I can feel sweat beads roll down my face, also my gut feels like it's about to send up my breakfast. I take a deep breath in, trying to calm my nerves, but the fusion seemed to notice.

She laughs an evil, wicked, and empty laugh. "Are you, the great, all-powerful, lustrous, Blue Diamond scared?" The fusion smirks "I hope you understand that I'm not going to hurt you" she pauses, then smiles again "well, let me backtrack on that, I'm not going to poof you"

I grip my scythe even tighter then before, waiting for someone to move. "You know I can slice through all of you, like cake" I grit through my teeth

"I'm not sure what cake is, but I seriously doubt that. You see, while you may be bigger then us and faster, I do have numbers on my side, and future vision."

"I know for a fact that the future is never set in stone" I growl.

She laughs again, "you may be right my dear, buuut, I do see many, many, many, possibilities where you come with us" she gives me an unnerving smile "most of them you are unconscious."

And it is at that moment where I snap and swing my sharp blade at her, but she ducks and the deadly blade only grazes her head.

"Attack" she grins evilly.

Almost all of the archers that surround me release their arrows, most of them whistle past me while a few get stuck in my hair.

The first of many waves of gems come rushing towards me, I slice through them with ease. But it isn't until the second wave of small arrows are released that I realize I'm possibly fucked.

Once again, most of the arrows manage to miss me, which I smirk at, but a few have actually managed to dig into my arms, neck, and back.

I let out a slight whimper as the gemlimgs painfully move inside me. But I stupidly work through the pain, cutting down more and more of the small fusion's forces.

I take a split second break to look at their face. But I frown as I see her smiling smugly like she has won the battle. Which, I fear she has.

I spend at least five more minutes, barely poofing any more of the fusion's soldiers. I, unfortunately, can feel myself losing energy quickly, my muscles start to burn, the pain in my belly is starting to flare up more, and I can see myself get more sluggish by the second.

As soon as I cut through the last of the archers, I hear the fusion curse to herself. I smirk as I quickly get the upper hand, I've definitely cut through more than three-fourths of her troops.

"You—don't need to—do this," I say between breaths.

"Yes, I do, you don't understand. I have a very flawless plan" she runs a stripped hand through her hair.

"Would you care to tell?" I ask.

She laughs a very, very, empty laugh "Ah, my diamond, you're very funny. I unfortunately have to say no to that request."

Out of nowhere, pain wracks through my entire system. I fall hard onto my knees and I painfully clutch onto my baby belly.

"Ah-ha!" The fusion points at me "Didn't I tell you! I knew she would be beaten" the fusion happily talks to herself.

She shakes away her joy and walks up to my face, "aaand, didn't Yellow Diamond warn you about the dangers of stressing yourself out too much?" The gem taunts.

"F-fuck—y-you" I barely say through the pain. Exhaustion seeps quietly into me, over masked by all the pain I feel.

"Don't worry you're pretty little head, I told you I'm not going to poof you. Although I would've liked to do that, but you're much, much more valuable to me in this state" the fusion uses two of her four arms to summon something.

The sound of an engine turning on catches my attention. My tired eyes slide upwards, and something very big and shiny appears in my line of sight.

"I-is that a ship?" I weakly ask "where did you get that?" I whisper the last part to myself.

"Good job! Ten points to you" the gem summons a large black bubble around us.

"Where—where are you taking me?" I tiredly ask.

"Hmm, a cell" the fusion chirps "if you'd like a more specific answer, far away...away from this place...in space!"

I close my eyes for a second and when I open them I'm in a large room, with no windows, and the only exit large a large electric wall that will definitely hurt if I touch it.

I move onto my stiff back, I stare up at the metal ceiling....This is going to be a longer journey than expected..

Dammit...

[magoa-themed]

His Love, Someone’s Trust ~~~~~~~Prologue~~~~~~~

People like to give ‘falling in love’ the image of happiness and joy; of finding someone, that a person would sacrifice anything for and they in turn would reciprocate that selflessness for you. As a kid true love was everywhere, in books, fairy tales, and cartoons. They are naive to the pain and suffering that comes with love, to the true and real scars it leaves on someone. As a child love is great and pure, it's the love from parents before it rots, the love for one’s friends before life gets complicated, it's the love of self before the eyes can be clouded with judgement and expectations.

Children then grow up and suddenly love is no longer pure. Parents get sick of their kid having an opinion, friends stab friends in the back with no explanation, and the mirror becomes a place of harassment and loathing. Then there is a new form of love, it is a toxic thing with pain and suffering more than any other form can cause.

For some they will go back to having pure love into adulthood, but the rest are stuck in a cycle of misery. For the very select few they will find that toxic love and turn it into something worth having. But that is only for the luckiest of humans and the ones who search for it.

Delirious is neither lucky nor searching for it. To him love was and will only ever be felt at one point and that is when you are small and unknowing. Of course he loves his friends but he keenly aware of how life works unfortunately. He knows if there was a great opportunity that any of them would drop him for it.

Like Evan.

Before 2 weeks ago Delirious wouldn’t have been thinking the thoughts he was now but it seems that Evan constantly ditching him to be with some girl doing things he hated got the blue eyed man contemplating things he hasn’t contemplated since his teen years. Evan had triggered these unwanted thoughts and now no matter how much Del tried he couldn’t seem to get rid of them. They burned words into him that he never thought he would consider and prodded questions that had him up all night.

Delirious had tried love and it had always ended badly, and though upset he shook it off and carried on with life. Now it seemed all the pain from all the failed partners was coming back to him in rapid succession. He recalled the ones who cheated on him or the few that made him feel like lesser of a person because of their own insecurities. The morning he woke up and his home was empty again without a trace of the other resident besides the note on the table. That one had been especially hard.

He had gone through it all with a smile though and slowly yet surely there stopped being a significant other beside him. Without being conscious of it he had stopped looking for someone and even avoided the idea of it. There is only so much a person can take after all and even though it was lonely he had his friends. He learned fast that a ‘true love’ wasn’t necessary and he could be content without one.

But the sudden lack of Evan had him breaking down his logic. Friends could abandoned and hurt him just as easily as a girlfriend or boyfriend could. The thought sickened him, thinking about his friends doing to him what he had allowed some many other to do. He put so much trust and faith into them but now that blind faith was slipping and he was beginning to see things he didn’t want to see.

After 3 weeks of not talking to Evan and contemplating all his relationships everything shot downhill. Delirious woke up that morning to his phone flashing from the millions of notifications he was receiving at once. It was literally millions, what was going on?

When he opened his phone the first thing he saw was Evan in a suit. It seemed like it was a talk show sort of thing. He had never mentioned anything like that to Delirious, not once did Del get a message from the Canadian about anything cool he was gonna be doing. He brushed it off though, it's not like the man had been talking to him in general for the last 3 weeks. Then something caught his eye, a comment reading, “It’s super cool that he mentioned all the guys as part of his success! We got to learn a lot about delirious, they asked so many questions and we got so many answers =3”.

It was to be expected honestly. Since Delirious never showed his face people always asked the guys about him, most of them knew as much about his appearance as the fans did though so they were never a good source. Though the part about learning a lot about him made him uneasy he shrugged it off without much thought.

It was fine that Vanoss had enough time to go on a talk show but not enough to talk to him. They hadn’t played together in too long and Del was have withdrawals, which yes, he knows sounded really dumb but he couldn’t think of any other way to put it. 

He was about to shut off his phone and escape the noise that emitted from it when a message from Luke appeared. He tapped the screen and let his eyes linger on the message.

Luke: shit del have you seen it? I'm going to fucking kill evan.

                                                  Seen what? What the hell did he do!? :Del

Luke: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvrCxzo_S-g 20:34

Luke: That fucking BITCH! What kind of idiot does this to a friend!!!???

Luke: I'll be there soon don't do anything stupid

When he taps the link he is once again hit with the picture of Evan in a suit. It fits him well, showing how in shape he really was. Del moves on not wanting to linger any longer, already having spent enough time starring to set a knot in his stomach.

He goes pulls the red dot along the edge of his phone, stopping a minute or two before the time Luke had told him to.

They went through standard questions that had been asked about all the guys, it didn’t seem abnormal. He went to back out and yell at Luke for giving him a heart attack until words stopped him.

“Okay now we have to ask, do you know what the mysterious H2ODelirious looks like”, some random host spoke with a light tone.

“Yes, actually. Though I have never met Delirious in person I do know what he looks like”, Evan’s response is hesitant but the wide smile on his face doesn't allow anyone besides those who are close to him to notice.

A grin twists on the hosts face, “Well we are so glad that you were willing to share your knowledge with us”.

Evan’s smile is gone and replaced with a look of confusion, “What do yo-”.

Then there he is, Delirious chokes on the air he gasped into his throat. There he was...there he was, THERE WAS HIS FACE ON THE FUCKING SCREEN. He didn’t know what to do, he wanted to cry, he really wanted to let Luke kill Evan.

He was panicking.

“No no no no no no no no nononononono fuck shit fuck”, he stumbled over his words mumbling then yelling. Too many thoughts went through his head at once, the room spun in so many direction. He had gone through so much shit to make sure his fans didn't find out what he looked like, so much, and now it was all fucking pointless.

He didn't want people harassing his family, he didn't want to be crowded with people all the time because that's what being “famous” was. But Evan didn’t care! Evan did what he had to so he could get famous!

Delirious threw his hand at the wall in his bedroom breaking more then the wall in the process. Fuck...how could Evan do this to him. Delirious had trusted him, why did he ever trust him? Didn't he know this would happen? Isn’t that why he hadn’t showed the other guys his face, because he had predicted this outcome from the very beginning?

Delirious pressed his back against the wall to his empty house sliding down until he was on the floor. He used the hand that wasn't shattered to hold the one that was as if it could magically heal the damage done. He just stared at it not knowing what to do.

Once the initial anger and adrenaline had faded he was left only with pain. By the time Luke got there he was crying, still in the same exact spot from an hour before. Whether he was crying because of the way he had suddenly lost all trust in anyone or because of his hand he couldn't say but if he had to guess it was both.

Luke had flipped when he saw Jonathan's hand. He had never been good when it came to blood or injuries in real life and it took most of his willpower not to throw up on the spot. He knew he had to be strong for at least that one moment as he walked over to his friend trying his hardest not to look at the mutilated hand.

“What the fuck did you do Jay? Jesus, it looks like you took a hammer to that thing!”. Johnathan did not respond, he just stared into the endless abyss in front of him, Luke frowned.

“Jay I need you to answer me dude”, he was on his knees in front of Delirious now. The blue eyed man only gave a small nod. To Luke it didn’t even seem like his friend saw him, he looked as if he was focused on something that was right behind him. Del’s eyes were dull and full of pain, the blue that once stood so prominent now sank into his features pulling everything with it. He looked almost...dead.

“Shit”, Luke cursed under his breath, “Jay I’m taking you to the hospital, get up”. Johnathan didn't move, he didn't even blink at the words.

“Your a dick”, he pulled the younger man to his feet and led him to the door. Delirious did not resist he didn't even seem to be aware they were moving, putting most of his weight on Luke. Luke held onto him like he could shatter any moment and Del clung to Luke as if he was the only thing keeping his head above water. The only thing that kept him from drowning in doubt.

So this is really short but stuff happened so yay!! I love watching my characters suffer hehe. I have no idea how long its going to be and I’m working a chapter outline right now. Thanks for reading! hope you have a great day!!