#and there's no rule saying you can only post your art once! fuck that! its so worth more than a one-and-done!

[lunarneo]

since she's a robot, her dad gets her cupcakes!🤖🧁

[lambouillet]

𓃔 Fiore - they/them - 18 - aro nb Lesbian 𓃔 I draw and I (hope) to make mods sometimes! I follow and interact from @fiomeras

🖍️ gallery - ✏️ Doodles

LAMBS OF GOD ( AU/Fangame Mockup/Worldbuilding )

NEVER WONDER ( "Deserter" Story )

📭Asks are always welcomed! I like to take my time crafting a response though so I may not respond as quick as others. Sorry!

⚠️ DISCLAIMER/BYF: unfortunately I cannot realistically tag all of my posts with trigger warnings but the ones that'll appear frequently are: blood, decapitation, gore, child death, animal death and nonsexual nudity; drawn or written, everything under the sun.

I have a very spiritual, folk catholic, faith healer background so I may come to talk about that at times! It's a main turning gear for all of my work that I hope to exemplify and sympathise.

Pr0sh1p/T3rfs DNI. And anyone neutral to it.

Extra FAQ under the read more ↓ Profile illustration by my friend MTSODIE

FAQ:

Asks & dms

📫 ASKBOX RULES

As mentioned above, all is welcomed, HOWEVER, I'd appreciate if you extend some of your courtesy to me and do not send me anything that's along the lines of being sexually charged. Suggestive jokes are fine, I am an adult! but that does not warrant that i'll be over the moon with descriptive asks about wanting to fuck my guys nasty. Alright? mind yourself.

Don't send me personal discourse. If you have a problem with another user It should be dealt with privately. In no way am I ever going to be in a position where I can give you an answer for this. Remember, I am just a random guy, on the web!

related but slightly unrelated, I will block people freely, whether you've done the above or not, that's just how I like to curate what I see and I do it very often. Please don't take it personally.

Otherwise, everything else is free reign (unless i say so) go nuts, insane even.

📨DMS

Anyone can dm! askbox rules still apply. Cant guarantee that I'll reply back if the conversation starts with just a "Hi" or "How are you" though. I'd really only prefer you message me if theres something to tell or I've done something to elicit you to do so.

ART RELATED

🎁Can I make Fanart/Fanfics of your au/ocs?

Yes! Ofcourse! Only thing I'll ask of you is for you to tag me in them so i can see it... These will always guarantee a smile on my face.

🎭can I use your art as a pfp/post it to Pinterest?

I'd rather you not use my art for anything unless you've had my permission or its art I made for you! Definitely don't post it around other places without my knowledge. I don't have any other active socials besides here and probably bluesky under Fiomeras ( that i ought to post more on, weh )

🎨🖌️Program and brushes

I use Clip studio paint for most of my art and Aseprite every once in a while.

my traditional brush info you can find on my main pinned.

Digitally I change what I use very sporadically so I cant really give you a proper concise answer but my frequent ones are:

Shockgrunge Marker and Pencil

Kasuy MK sploon

Tacodemuerte Mrsplotchy

Scribbly Dark

Jarijari

Bathylychnops Brushes

Intoxicate set

Thats all for now, will update when necessary! Muahhh

Curiousity rewards the brave! Take this ugly thing. As a gift

"Whats with the wording" i like doing bits

[youremyheaven]

Despite being celebate revati placements are often assumed as fboy/fgirls and promiscuous too.

I got one question tho.

Are revati and punarvasu both the strongest wealth naks and are they the only wealth naks?

Oh i got one more question.

What are the fame naks?

Your observations and posts are very entertaining please continue to do so.

im not saying they're always celibate

theyre not the type to be promiscuous which is to say, have several sexual/romantic partners at the same time. the number of partners may be fewer but the quality of their experiences are wilder or deeper, many Revatis are into crazy stuff (BDSM, knife play, primal kink etc) they seek a certain intensity with their sexual experiences and this is not something you can easily find with people. That sort of chemistry, connection and compatibility is rare, which is why Revatis tend to be celibate, its either crazy mind blowing euphoric ecstatic sex or nothing at all.

Some Revatis could very well be "fuckboys/fuck-girls" but it probably does not satiate them at all. They love the chase, the thrill of it but the experience itself probably underwhelms them since its impossible to experience ecstatic orgasmic bliss with every random person you sleep with. this requires a certain depth of connection and emotion.

Revati & Punarvasu are very strong wealth giving naks but they are not the only ones.

The thing about the abundance of Revati & Punarvasu is that they acquire a lot even in positions where they are not expected to.

Angelina Jolie has a net worth of $120 million, Rihanna of $1 billion, Kristen Stewart of $70 million, Cardi B $80 million, Pink (the singer) $200 million. All of these women have either Revati Sun or Moon.

Miranda Kerr $60 million, Drew Barrymore $125 million, Shakira $300 million, Cameron Diaz $140 million, Keanu Reeves $380 million, Mariah Carey $520 million, Jessica Simpson $280 million, Sofia Vergara $180 million. All of them have Punarvasu Sun or Moon.

Other than Cardi, none of them are actively working per se, they have different ventures and investments and generate a whole lot of passive income. This is what I meant by how they make money even in positions where they're not expected to make as much. Many of the above listed singer makes millions of dollars from royalties alone. They dont have to work as hard as others to make money. Perhaps their journey to success is difficult but once they get there, everything flows easily for them.

Other nakshatras associated with wealth are Jyeshta, Swati, Hasta, Pushya & Dhanishta.

Nakshatras associated with fame are harder to narrow down because one can be famous for many reasons.

Cancer rashi women are famous for their beauty, desirability and personal appeal.

Sun ruled men are famous for their masculinity and symbolize male virility and power. They're the poster boys of the "guy/dude films/aesthetic."

Venusians are famous for the art they make

Jupiter natives are famous for their abundance, high principles, values and ethics. Their regal & elegant conduct is also notable.

These are just a few examples, fame can manifest in many ways (and even negatively).

Also thank you💛🙏🏻I'm working on a new post<3

[blankd]

MushRush SRPG Devlog Aug 10th, 2024

Time for the first update!

READ MORE to see: my production plan, why I'm calling this MushRush, what this week's Golden Duncecap moment was (and how I solved it), and some of THE scrungliest assets.

NOTE: I will be tagging all posts like this with the 'mushrush SRPG' tag, yes even after I figure out a real name for this project

PRODUCTION PLAN

This update will be lacking in screenshots as I was mostly fiddling with the SRPG Plugin suite, locking in a battle/events roadmap for the entirety of the game, and organizing my notes into something more concise. The battle roadmap outlined their purpose (narrative and/or mechanically), if they had something noteworthy in plot or flaovr, their objectives and their failstates, and a rough idea of what visual assets they might require.

There is roughly a total of 33 maps: so far 5 are core/mandatory, 6-7 are optional, the rest are progression. The distribution may change as production goes forward, and the map count may even decrease but I'm absolutely holding myself from exceeding that 33 number as this number does NOT include whatever magic I need to use for towns or 'cutscenes'.

Additionally, I'm holding off on ANY art assets, writing, and such, until the game has a solid mechanical skeleton to be played through. Since there are a maximum of 7 (8 technically, as its sometimes a Unit on the map but has no personality) party members, I'm optimistic about its implementation and testing. I'm also already planning to reuse/upcycle the enemies from Moon-Scarred appropriately. Waste not, want not!

PROJECT NAME/WHY MUSHRUSH?

it's not a spoiler to say this (as it's visually obvious within the first map), but you play as a cleric of a Divine Mushroom and will be carting it around to solve the Undead Problem. I'm fairly bad at titles, so while I know the name Mysilla is important, I can't figure out a snappy game title for it yet, so MushRush will keep things silly. 8)

THIS WEEK'S GOLDEN DUNCECAP MOMENT

The Issue: I encountered my first (and hopefully worst) instance of things breaking where I could not get my template map to run at all- it would completely skip showing the Pre-Battle (win/lose conditions, etc.), (functionally) skip the Battle Preparation Phase (couldn't place any units, but I could 'Start' the battle with 0 usable units) and then enter an infinite loop of the Turn Incrementing even though no Player OR Enemy Turns were occurring.

The problem was so severe and 'unsolvable' that even my basic ass debugging method of putting trigger text to tell me if/when the code was running, would not trigger. After a LONG journey of consulting the demo's documentation- even literally copying the eventing framework, nothing was working.

As I went to reset the Plugins, I noticed that they were in the incorrect order. For context: a (purposeful) function of RPGm is that Plugins have certain priorities and sometimes need a specific order, but when LOADING the plugins into RPGm, it's alphabetical in its folder (because how would IT know what order it's supposed to be in). I fucked up in that I had only remembered to put the core plugin at the top, but loaded the rest alphabetically because I was lazy and had just forgotten this BASIC FUNCTION.

Once the Plugins were organized into their correct order as intended by the Plugins' creator, everything worked as expected. So learn from my mistakes and never forget Rule 0 of RPGm use- check your goddamn Plugin Order FIRST!!

THE SCRUNGLES (aka a Most Unflattering Teaser of the Main Cast)

White = not-Halfling Cleric MC Orange = Dragon(born) Lady Paladin Grey = Orc Rogue Purple = Drow Barbarian Blue = not-Tiefling Sorcerer Red = Human Wizard (a HUMAN? MODS, BAN HER) Green = Goblin Ranger (even though in my notes I call her Druid, whoops!) Brown = yeah that's a cart, what of it

While the broad strokes of the characters are present/set (I'm still figuring out Rogue's clothing, oops), enough details can still change or will later be included to make them less boring, such as how Red/Wizard is an older lady, but there's no point to putting the wrinkles at this stage.

I hope you look forward to whenever I can post their 'talking' scene sprites to show off more of their designs! Thanks for reading~

[reactivatedrockstar]

Rules

I am on mobile, so my tags are very minimal.

Do not reblog threads you are not apart of. This also applies to my headcanons, but I'm confident that the only people who reblog those are ppl who find it and don't realize this is an RP blog.

I'm lenient about this, but do not reblog art or memes from here, as it clogs up my feed.

Don't poop on the floor

I am oc friendly. However, if you don't have a rules or about for your blog, I'm probably not going to interact.

You never know what you're going to get with me. You may get a multipara starter/reply, you may get a few sentences. I don't expect you to match my length, especially if I've written a behemoth of a starter... but I do ask that you try to match my effort. If I'm writing a huge reply and you respond with something that doesn't match the setting or context, (and do this consistently,) I'm more than likely doing to drop threads, and if this keeps happening, I'll just soft block you. Yes I do this for fun, but I put abouts and rules and everything you need to know for a reason, and if you can't be bothered to put in the effort to read it, or properly read my responses, then don't even bother. This sounds mean, but this is incredibly frustrating and a bit insulting and that's not what I want for a hobby.

Don't always try to fix a conflict immediately? Especially if this is a common theme of the blog. Bonnie is broken and he is not being repaired. The techs who say that pieces have been ordered and are en route are lying to him. Do not take this away, or the thread will be dropped. There is a huge difference between talking to those techs and confronting them about it and saying "Oh your parts came in five-ever ago lets go get you fixed!" Comfort him, reassure him, validate him, find temporary solutions for him: but don't fix him. I like tension sometimes, so don't take away a threat or conflict within the first three replies if you can help it! There is a story here that I am trying to tell, but if you take away the main conflict, it doesn't work.

Due to a lack of interest across my FNaF blogs, asks and threads are now put into my queue and will take a few days to get to it. Every morning I put ten posts into my queue, except on Fridays, where I do thirty. If you reply to me on Saturday, it may not post a response until Monday or Wednesday, depending on on which blog it's on. I'm no longer giving threads a priority in my queue, they just get put in.

I am a mobile user. My brother did give me his laptop, but at the end of my work day, I'm usually out of spoons to write unless a thread has me in a choke hold. Maybe once in a while, I'll pop onto my laptop to fine-tune posts like this, but it's hard, if not impossible for me to use the site to its full extent on the normal. As such, icons will not be used and trimming posts will not be done the way I like.

Trimming posts are a strange area. I have adhd and autism, so the best way for a thread to be trimmed is with the last response still attached. This way I can remember what's going on in the thread, which will lead to an overall better rp experience. If posts don't get trimmed, I'll just have to make the reply and hit that big red X button that deletes everything before my response, so take that as a warning.

RESPECT MY FUCKING BOUNDARIES. I've had some issues with one individual who sucked me into this Fandom, they refused to take no for an answer, and forced me to rp an incest ship. This has scared me away from the rpc for years. If I say no, it does not mean "convince me," it means no. I have a three strikes your out policy.

Due to this experience, I'm in a very weird place with ships, I currently don't ship Bonnie and I go back and forth as to whether or not I will in the future. You are free to talk about ships with me, but you must must MUST communicate with me!! Even if we have a ship, please communicate with me if you want to change something or break them up, please don't just end it without warning or talking to me first. I'll never force you to ship a ship you don't want, but if you don't warn me first, I will think that you want Bonnie to try and save I do not automatically have fronnie as a canon ship. I do not automatically ship them- but I do, personally believe they are Canon, just not here. They are best friends. Is there room for something more? TALK TO ME and find out. It depends on the chemistry between our characters. This is true for ALL ships, but it applies the strictest to Fronnie. I am a shipping whore, I really am, and as long as it's with another animatronic, (and that animatronic isn't supposed to be or looks like a child,) I will most likely be open to it!

I have a full-time job as a daycare teacher. I am not always online. Do not pester me for replies.

I like to talk in the DMs!! Please don't think that this is a passive aggressive attempt to get you to reply, as eager as I get, this is a hobby, and I will not rush you intentionally!! Please tell me politely if I make you feel rushed or don't want to talk via dms. (I personally just think that writing is more fun when you know your partners.) That being said, I do not want you feeling like you are responsible for my personal feelings, and vice versa. You are allowed to say no, I am allowed to say no. If you try and guilt trip me, that will count against your three strikes. (And I will warn you dw.)

In addition to this, if you do NOT like communicating via dms, please tell me, and I will stop. If you just ignore me or ghost me, I'm either going to continue to try and reach out, thinking you forgot or didn't get notified, or I'll become intimidated, and think I did something wrong. We're all adults here, we can use our words. You don't have to follow me if you don't want to interact.

I have kept up with the lore moderately well, but if I don't know something, or have forgotten something, do not bully me. I have zero tolerance for it. You respect me, and I respect you.

From now on, this blog is run from a separate blog as well as this one in an attempt to distance myself from my toxic ex-friend. Since tumblr thinks this blog is now run from two separate blogs, DMs will not be able to be used from here any more, therefore, all DMs will have to be sent to @twoiesfnafocs. If there is some sort of emergency, and you need to contact me quickly for any reason, you will have to send an ask, even just sending in "hey can you log in, I need to talk to you asap," I will.

If you want to let me know you've read these, go ahead and like it, but it's not required, I use an honor system anyway.

[funtxmequeen]

Rules

I am on mobile, so my tags are very minimal.

Do not reblog threads you are not apart of. This also applies to my headcanons, but I'm confident that the only people who reblog those are ppl who find it and don't realize this is an RP blog.

I'm lenient about this, but do not reblog art or memes from here, as it clogs up my feed.

Don't poop on the floor

Foxy is transfem. While I do not mind IN CHARACTER transph*bia for the sake of conflict and angst, I have an absolute ZERO TOLERANCE for ACTUAL transphobia. As such, anons who do not make it clear if the transph*bia is real or fake will be ip blocked immediately. (Ideally, send in an emoji of some sort so I can identify you, or if you're a mutual trying to stir up some drama, dm me ahead of time so we're on the same page.) Hate towards me or my muse will not be tolerated whatsoever.

IC transph*bia posts will be tagged "Transphobia," as a catch all, but if I need to make a specific tag, please tell me. I want the drama, but in no way do I want to make this blog unsafe for you. Any actual tr*nsphobic content I receive will not be posted.

If, even after all my efforts, this blog still does not feel safe to you, but you still would like to interact with me (not Foxy), DO NOT SOFT BLOCK ME! Some of you already know this, but this is not my only blog. Instead, please inform me that this blog makes you uncomfortable and you don't want to follow it. I will gladly reach out to you on my hub blog, and direct you to my other fnaf rp blogs. Your safety is more important than our hobby.

You never know what you're going to get with me. You may get a multipara starter/reply, you may get a few sentences. I don't expect you to match my length, especially if I've written a behemoth of a starter... but I do ask that you try to match my effort. If I'm writing a huge reply and you respond with something that doesn't match the setting or context, (and do this consistently,) I'm more than likely doing to drop threads, and if this keeps happening, I'll just soft block you. Yes I do this for fun, but I put abouts and rules and everything you need to know for a reason, and if you can't be bothered to put in the effort to read it, or properly read my responses, then don't even bother.

I am a mobile user. Maybe once in a while, I'll pop onto a computer at the library to fine tune posts like this, but it's hard, if not impossible for me to use the site to its full extent. As such, icons will not be used, tags will be scarce, and trimming posts will not be done the way I like.

Trimming posts are a strange area. I have adhd and autism, so the best way for a thread to be trimmed is with the last response still attached. This way I can remember what's going on in the thread, which will lead to an overall better rp experience. If posts don't get trimmed, I'll just have to make the reply and hit that big red X button that deletes everything before my response, so take that as a warning.

RESPECT MY FUCKING BOUNDARIES. I've had some issues with one individual who sucked me into this Fandom, they refused to take no for an answer, and forced me to rp an incest ship. This has scared me away from the rpc for years. If I say no, it does not mean "convince me," it means no. I have a three strikes your out policy.

I have a full-time job as a daycare teacher. I am not always online. Do not pester me for replies.

I like to talk in the DMs!! Please don't think that this is a passive aggressive attempt to get you to reply, as eager as I get, this is a hobby, and I will not rush you intentionally!! Please tell me politely if I make you feel rushed or don't want to talk via dms. (I personally just think that writing is more fun when you know your partners.) That being said, I do not want you feeling like you are responsible for my personal feelings, and vice versa. You are allowed to say no, I am allowed to say no. If you try and guilt trip me, that will count against your three strikes. (And I will warn you dw.)

In addition to this, if you do NOT like communicating via dms, please tell me, and I will stop. If you just ignore me or ghost me, I'm either going to continue to try and reach out, thinking you forgot or didn't get notified, or I'll become intimidated, and think I did something wrong. We're all adults here, we can use our words. You don't have to follow me if you don't want to interact.

I have kept up with the lore moderately well, but if I don't know something, or have forgotten something, do not bully me. I have zero tolerance for it. You respect me, and I respect you.

If you want to let me know you've read these, go ahead and like it, but it's not required, I use an honor system anyway.

[dyrewrites]

OC Takeover tag

@somethingclevermahogony tagged me for this, at some point. Thank you ^.-

Rules: for any OCs you’d like, if they stole your phone and got on your tumblr blog, what would they do/post on it?

I tag @aziz-reads and @rmgrey-author ^.^

I think I did this one for the Before Deluca guys already, so let's try someone else.

Since they have similar tech, and thus would know what it was, we'll go with Pale Blood OCs. Specifically, Ron and Odea, because that sounds like fun.

->got carried away again below the cut<-

Ron found it, but he didn't get the chance to dig into it too deep before Odea caught him and snatched it.

"What is this thing, one of your relics?"

"Not mine, but definitely a relic."

It didn't take too long for Odea to work out how the screen functioned, and the lock pattern was child's play for a witch of her skill--a bit like an architect tasked with constructing a pillow fort. Once inside the thing, she had Ron's undivided attention. And while he didn't breathe down her neck he certainly wasn't making her any less uncomfortable with how close he leaned.

"Ron," she asked, nudging, "could you maybe, possibly, give me some fucking room?"

Scoffing, he leaned back, "Gods, hon, no need to get mouthy."

Forgetting the device, she addressed the blasphemy, "What Gods, your Gods?"

But Ron just rolled his eyes and pointed at the thing in her hands, "How about whichever made that thing, can we focus on that thing?"

"Pretty sure it's a kind of netlink, but I don't think any Gods have touched it," flicking the screen, she touched every single app she could find and discovered none of them were terribly interesting, "fuck, even I have games..."

Leaning too close again, Ron sighed when Odea glared, sidling instead to peer over her arm, "Well, what does it have?"

"Boards, looks like, something called Tumblr?" Her eyebrows asked Ron, but he had no idea what she just said and so answered with his own. Odea sighed, "It's mostly text and images. Is this art, propaganda, or...did an AI lose its shit? Oh, here, this looks like the root, their blog. The fuck is a 'blog'."

"You gotta stop with the mouth, hon, it's starting to grate."

"Fuck you, Ron."

"Oh, honey...no," he smiled at the glare that earned him before snatching the device and holding it too high for her to get back. Voice softening for what he found, "It's prose...and, our names are in here?"

"What, give it here," hopping off Ron's couch, Odea managed to grab the device but she didn't get to keep it. Dangling by his hands, she kicked as he chuckled.

"Nice try, hon, but it's my turn..." Letting her down, he huddled over the screen--slapping her snatching fingers away--and began typing before working out how to use the thing's excuse for a camera. "Say 'happy bats'," he trilled before snapping a picture of himself and Odea--who made certain he caught a finger instead of her face. "Yes, that's lovely...your best side."

Posting the picture, and a small message, he tossed the thing in a drawer and locked it before Odea could pry it out.

"The fuck, Ron," She snapped at him, throwing her arms up when he snickered.

"You had your chance, I had my fun...now it goes back to being a mysterious relic." He emphasized with a showy waggle of his fingers, but that only served to make Odea huff.

[twoiesfnafocs]

Rules

I am on mobile, so my tags are very minimal.

Do not reblog threads you are not apart of. This also applies to my headcanons.

I'm lenient about this, but do not reblog art or memes from here, as it clogs up my feed.

Don't poop on the floor

Obviously: this is an oc blog. I am oc friendly. However, if you don't have a rules or about for your blog, I'm probably not going to interact.

You never know what you're going to get with me. You may get a multipara starter/reply, you may get a few sentences. I don't expect you to match my length, especially if I've written a behemoth of a starter... but I do ask that you try to match my effort. If I'm writing a huge reply and you respond with something that doesn't match the setting or context, (and do this consistently,) I'm more than likely going to drop threads, and if this keeps happening, I'll just soft block you. Yes I do this for fun, but I put abouts and rules and everything you need to know for a reason, and if you can't be bothered to put in the effort to read it, or properly read my responses, then don't even bother. This sounds harsh, and I don't mean to be mean, but it is incredibly frustrating and quite frankly, it comes off as insulting, and at the end of the day, it's not worth the anger.

Don't always try to fix a conflict immediately? Especially if this is a common theme of the blog. My characters have flaws, sometimes they have physical issues. It wouldn't be fun or interesting if I took that away from them. I like tension sometimes, so don't take away a threat or conflict within the first three replies if you can help it!

I am a mobile user. My brother did give me his laptop, but at the end of my work day, I'm usually out of spoons to write unless a thread has me in a choke hold. Maybe once in a while, I'll pop onto my laptop to fine-tune posts like this, but it's hard, if not impossible for me to use the site to its full extent on the normal. As such, icons will not be used and trimming posts will not be done the way I like.

Trimming posts are a strange area. I have adhd and autism, so the best way for a thread to be trimmed is with the last response still attached. This way I can remember what's going on in the thread, which will lead to an overall better rp experience. If posts don't get trimmed, I'll just have to make the reply and hit that big red X button that deletes everything before my response, so take that as a warning.

RESPECT MY FUCKING BOUNDARIES. I've had some issues with one individual who sucked me into this Fandom, they refused to take no for an answer and forced me to rp an incest ship. This has scared me away from this rpc for years. If I say no, it does not mean "convince me," it means no. I have a three-strikes-your-out policy.

Speaking of boundaries, this blog in particular deals with themes of child abuse, racism, and possibly more dark themes. I will tag as needed, but I may also forget, so if you are easily triggered by this stuff, do not follow this specific blog. I can also be found at @reactivatedrockstar, but I can only be dmed here.

I have a full-time job as a daycare teacher. I am not always online. Do not pester me for replies unless it's been several days. Maybe a notif bugged out, or maybe I thought I replied but didn't. General rule of thumb, if it's been less than a day, then don't pester me.

Due to a lack of interest across my FNaF blogs, asks and threads are now put into my queue and will take a few days to get to it. Every morning I put ten posts into my queue, except on Fridays, where I do thirty. If you reply to me on Saturday, it may not post a response until Monday or Wednesday, depending on on which blog it's on. I'm no longer giving threads a priority in my queue, they just get put in.

I like to talk in the DMs!! Please don't think that this is a passive-aggressive attempt to get you to reply, as eager as I get, this is a hobby, and I will not rush you intentionally!! Please tell me politely if I make you feel rushed or don't want to talk via dms. (I personally just think that writing is more fun when you know your partners.) That being said, I do not want you feeling like you are responsible for my personal feelings, and vice versa. You are allowed to say no, I am allowed to say no. If you try and guilt trip me, that will count against your three strikes. (And I will warn you dw.)

In addition to this, if you do NOT like communicating via dms, please tell me, and I will stop. If you just ignore me or ghost me, I'm either going to continue to try and reach out, thinking you forgot or didn't get notified, or I'll become intimidated, and think I did something wrong. We're all adults here, we can use our words. You don't have to follow me if you don't want to interact.

I have kept up with the lore moderately well, but if I don't know something, or have forgotten something, do not bully me. I have zero tolerance for it. You respect me, and I respect you.

If you want to let me know you've read these, go ahead and like it, but it's not required, I use an honor system anyway.

[ziskandra]

I posted 3,294 times in 2022

That's 3,140 more posts than 2021!

130 posts created (4%)

3,164 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mxkelsifer

@ithoughteventheboneswoulddoot

@ziskandra

@illusivesoul

@ultraviolet-ink

I tagged 3,177 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#the unreliable q - 2,029 posts

#dragon age - 1,352 posts

#ace attorney - 579 posts

#meredith stannard - 519 posts

#orsino - 225 posts

#mass effect - 171 posts

#about me - 152 posts

#miles edgeworth - 139 posts

#anders - 138 posts

#franziska von karma - 127 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#especially the pro tip about being about differentiating between having empathy for one’s friends and acknowledging that they’re being mean

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Reply to this post for a DRUNKEN EFFUSIVELY COMPLIMENT okay

20 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

#4

you are SO right for autistic Manfred lmao that is also my hc. This dude once screamed at the top of his lungs in the middle of court cause someone interrupted his routine. He's so fucking relatable unfortunately

TRULY. I too want to scream aloud when things don’t go as I’d planned in my head!

Like, there’s the other obvious things: law is clearly his special interest. He’s the kind of person who has a place for everything and everything in its place.

Then there’s the just fucking off-the-wall things, like, he retrained the parrot. Even thinking to ATTEMPT it doesn’t seem like allistic behaviour to me, and by god, Manfred succeeded.

But the biggest thing to me is just how … rigid he can be when things go wrong, and how he really struggles with emotional lability in times of crisis. I know relating villain’s crimes to autistic traits can often be controversial, but I believe in most cases with villains I personally headcanon as autistic, it’s the lack of support in their life and society that contribute to the crimes, not simply being autistic.

Which is why the part about the tragedy of it all — how it hurts more — if Manfred had been trying his best in your meta really hit home to me! I know for myself one of my autistic traits is obsessing over what people tick and what makes them do the things they do. I don’t think anyone’s truly evil, but I do believe that people so often act in the preservation of their own self image and … yeah, it that doesn’t explain Manfred’s actions … perfectly (ba dum tsch).

OH, and there’s also just like, his sense of humour? It’s so arrogant but dry: “My PIN is 0001 because I’m number one!” “My granddaughter’s dog is named Phoenix, are you saying you’re her fiancé?” “Defense attorneys are like bugs to me, needless things, to be crushed.”

God, I love this man.

21 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

#3

introduction!

BASICS. Asha. Late 20s. they/them. autistic & adhd. brown. biracial. bisexual. shift-worker. Fascinated by fictional villains. FANDOMS. Primary: Ace Attorney & Dragon Age Dabbling in: Mass Effect, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Suits, Schitt's Creek (see fave characters and ships list here) LINKS. ziskandra on Ao3 ziskandra on Twitter ziskandra on Dreamwidth ziskandra#7191 @ Discord

Dragon Age Fanfic Masterlist [Ace Attorney & Mass Effect Masterlists TBA] ABOUT THIS BLOG.

I'm a fanfic writer and occasional art doodler & cosplayer from Australia. This is a personal blog, which contains everything from my own rambles about daily life, to reblogs of content I enjoy, to my own fandom creations.

I enjoy fannish meta but am generally disinterested in discourse. To clarify, I'm always down to read other people's takes and interpretations of media, but dislike being told what to think, or that there's only one valid way to perceive something. I'm more than happy to be friends with people who disagree with me over fandom things, if the same courtesy is extended to me in return. As a general rule, I don't talk about international politics in this space. I do, however, talk about Australian politics (#auspol) Big fan of curating one's own space. To that end, if there's anything I'm not tagging which you would like tagged, please feel free to ask! Caveat: I might not agree to do so, but would not hold any hard feelings for the request and/or if you needed to unfollow or block me as a result! Do what you need to for your best experience, as will I.

21 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

#2

ngl but rewatching the first season of the handmaid's tale after watching season 5 is so funny. one of the first things serena says to june is 'i want to see as little of you as possible'. followed up with basically 'if i'm given trouble i'll give you trouble back'

and now they're going to be raising their babies in exile together and you know what. good for them.

22 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Fanfic Author Self-Recs!

@haljathefangirlcat tagged me to rec five of my own fanfics with you all — thank you, friend! 💖 I've tried to go with a variety of different fandoms and have mostly focused on older works. I also purposely haven't recommended any of my Dragon Age works as I feel DA has been occupying a lot of my brain space lately, and I wanted to give some of the spotlight to my other fannish interests! I'm gonna tag @mxanigel, @barbex, @joiningthefandomeightyearslate, @chocochipbiscuit and @fandomn00blr to share five of their works with us (if you so desire!) Without any further ado, I present my self-recs: 1. Retrospect - Mass Effect: Andromeda - Alec Ryder/Ellen Ryder (10k, rated M)

They say your life flashes before your eyes before you die and he's about to find out just how right they are.

A series of vignettes exploring Alec Ryder's relationships with his nearest and dearest, and the faltering steps he took to bridge the gaps between them.

Every time any sort of self-recommendation meme comes up, Retrospect is always the first fic that comes to mind. To this day, I still consider it my magnum opus, as I feel it really captures my strengths as an author. Character study of a morally grey, controversial character? Check. Non-linear narrative? Check. Experimental prose? Check. Vignettes? Check. Themes of family and struggling to fit in? Check check. If anyone ever wants to make my entire fucking month, please read this fic and tell me your thoughts on it. You will have my undying gratitude! 💖

2. Grounded - Mass Effect Andromeda - Calvin Kosta/Joelle Kosta (2.2k, rated M)

Calvin remembers the first time he held Liam in his arms. Big baby, nine pounds. His son is an ugly, wrinkly thing and yet also the most beautiful sight in the world. He smooths down the infant’s hair, kisses the soft spot on his head and whispers, “You’re gonna do great things." During the Reaper War, Calvin Kosta reflects on his relationship with his son.

This fic did really well on Tumblr (one of the few times I'd ever gotten over 100 notes on a post), but didn't quite get the same level of traction on AO3, which was quite interesting to me at the time as I'd never had that happen before (or since!) Honestly, it covers a lot of similar themes as Retrospect, but this time focused on Liam's family and how they deal with the Reaper War when they're left behind on Earth. IDK, I'm just obsessed with examining the human drive to live and survive, and what we struggle for, and how both our past experiences and our hopes for the future shape our actions, whether we're willing to admit it to ourselves or not.

3. Best Served Hot - Ace Attorney - Miles Edgeworth/Franziska von Karma (2k, rated E)

Franziska's gloved fingers seized Miles's jaw, digging into the sides of his face. "We were never siblings," she said. "Papa made sure of that. But if I can't best you in any other way, then I will have this."

If Retrospect is my ultimate magnum opus, then Best Served Hot is my franmiles manifesto. It truly is all of my feelings about this complicated and messy relationship dynamic carefully distilled into a fanfic! Anyway, I'm obsessed with the fact that Franziska regularly refers to Miles as her little brother, but Miles never refers to her as his sister.

However, the way that Miles acts with Franziska is SO sibling-like, whereas Franziska's a bit... weirder. She never really had normal familial relationships modeled to her (Miles, on the other hand, at least had something of a normal upbringing before his father's death).

Franziska is also a character who, for lack of a better term, weaponises her femininity. She's so young but she's built this whole aesthetic around tight miniskirts and kitten-heeled boots and carrying and using a fucking bullwhip. So, I 'm particularly fascinated by the cross-section of Franziska's obsession with Miles Edgeworth and her insecurities (and how she over-compensates for them).

Of course, if she stopped to think about it for a minute, she should have realised that Miles Edgeworth is perhaps not the ideal target for her feminine wiles, but Franziska's not exactly known for keeping a cool head in a crisis.

Finally, this fic also explores another point in Franziska's life that I'm fascinated by, which is her reaction to Phoenix Wright's disbarment. Phoenix is the only lawyer who has ever bested her (if she can even admit that much), and I think she would be INFURIATED by the insinuation that he owes his career success to forgery. Franziska von Karma would NOT be bested by a fraud! (And also she would be furious that Klavier Gavin got the chance to do what she's always wanted to do -- that is, defeat Phoenix Wright -- but that's a topic for another fanfic.)

4. Intermission - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - Audra Levine/Greg Serrano (2.3k, rated T.)

Recently divorced Audra Levine visits West Covina to provide moral support during her frenemy’s open mic night. Greg has always had a type.

While gregaudra (graudra?) might be something of a random ship, I was really surprised by how well they worked together (although in hindsight, it should have been obvious -- Greg really has a type, huh). I love Audra as a character, and I'm always obsessed with giving her room to grow and move on as a character and determine the shape of her own life, the way she wants, much as Rebecca (and Greg) got to do in the course of the series. (Also, its sequel, Realization, still has one of my favourite lines I think I've ever written: Audra's been busy filing away the parts of her life that don’t spark joy while retaining the parts that do, like she’s Marie Kondo-ing the weight and burden of everyone’s expectations instead of her household possessions.

I so rarely write in contemporary fandoms that it was a fun exercise to write stories where the popculture references actually help ground it in time and place.)

5. Sink or Swim - Harry Potter - Percy Weasley/Oliver Wood (12k, rated T.)

Percy has always struggled to keep his head above water.

(Or: the story of Percy Weasley, from his youth, through to his estrangement with his family, to the end of the war.)

It feels weird to be recommending HP fic in this day and age, but my complicated* feelings towards the fandom aside, I'm still really proud of how this fanfic turned out and how I was able to cram all of my Percy Weasley analysis into a coherent story. I particularly loved delving into how Percy was pushed into positions of responsibility from a young age (and then simultaneously derided for the very same qualities his parents reinforced), and how he struggled with his conflicting desires to fit in but also to succeed and be recognised for his talents and efforts. There's a couple of sentences from the fic which really encapsulate how I see Percy's relationship to his family, which I'll quote here:

In bits and pieces, Percy tells Oliver all about the estrangement to his family: how he’d always gotten along with his dad best growing up, no matter how his mother had doted on him. How when he was younger, he’d wanted nothing more than to be the next Arthur Weasley. How he’d always thought that his dad deserved more.

How it was easier to blame his father’s idiosyncrasies and personality for his family’s struggles with money, than to acknowledge it as a failure of the society he’d been raised in.

How he’d foolishly thought that if he studied enough, worked enough, succeeded enough, he could change it all.

Percy's story really is that of every working-class child who's sought to improve their life (and their family's life) through education and I just... relate to that a lot!!

25 notes - Posted November 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[blackmoonrose13]

So I was on tiktok for a while 2020-2022 ish...I only post like my art and clips there once in a while but I don't really use the ap anymore. But I was there when the censoring started.

So originally the unalive, segs, etc was used because educators, or those sharing a hyperfixation based around a less "advertiser friendly" topic. (which ranged from like video games, comic books, dnd, world history, in my case when the for you page actually showed me what I wanted) and Tiktok for some reason deciding to suppress any mention of those said topics even if I clearly stated I was over the age of 18 and just, I assume its mostly due to advertisers being puritanical idiots kinda like what happened on youtube where even swearing in the first 10 minutes was demonitized...which to be perfectly frank with half the shit they advertise or had deals with break so many of the unspoken rules we are barely given is kinda hypocritical just saying.

So people noticed their vids weren't getting views, now the circles I followed those who noticed were less annoyed they weren't getting pushed out to new people, more pissed their own followers weren't getting their vids, which gonna be honest if I am following someone I want their content and be known when they post up a thing. I mean still annoyed their numbers were dropping and also screwing up their money earning but like you kinda get the idea.

So when creators noticed the stupid levels of punishing you for mentioning these certain words, and I also wanna add they punished artists selling product as well, you couldn't mention other social medias (which lead to bird app, purple gaming ap, red ap, terms) You couldn't mention your own shop etsy or other wise (even though tiktok had ad deals with etsy for a bit if I remember) and just tiktok claims they weren't suppressing but it was bloody obvious and we have the numbers. And a lot of people well at least with the artist selling product, its their lively hood, they are using tiktok to show their works and sell their stuff and make some form of money and it was very annoying. As an artist I hated it because you couldn't advertise anything outside of tiktok...hell you couldnt even fucking say tiktok on your vids because I assume they were suppressing folks who were being critical about how the company was treating their creators.

So the stupid words as everyone calls it are being used to circumvent the massive unneeded censorship that was being done via a company that claims it wasn't trying to do that. If you remember the demonitization of youtube videos with certain words in title or description fiasco where someone figured out like the lists of words you couldn't use if you wanted to keep your money...similar concept but on an almost larger scale.

People wanted to educate and teach but couldn't because you are using no no words...so they rebelled and did leet speak and weird words to replace where outside of tiktok and youtube makes you sound weird.

NOW THAT BEING SAID! I do hate that people are now using terms that are already established and trying to skew the algorithm into their favor. I hate when people tag bomb on other social medias and use terms not related to a thing, I hate the buzz words click bate titles. and what is happening is the same thing in my eyes. Now I get they are trying to use a different word than masturbate because you know tiktok but there are already like many phrases that can be used instead of self care, and these people know using self care will get them on the fyps of people who like self care vids...I think its a shit tatic myself.

While yes I hate that these words are being used to replace normal words like sex kill murder masturbate vagina penis, sadly corprate and what nots are trying to be this squeaky clean unproblematic (and in my opinion hypocritical) space...and just yea I could go on but my hands are starting to hurt here.

babe wake up! new booktok nsfw censorship term just dropped

[vintage-miseries]

Rousseau x Edward The pair meet at a party

1925, England.

He’s done the tour of the house three times in four hours, haunting from room to room until something (or someone) caught his attention long enough to give him pause. He’s been to more of Lyon’s parties than he can remember, and though they’re far from tedious, tonight’s event was quieter than others for one reason or another. So he wanders, dressed simply in a robe and slippers like so many others, and he wanders until he finds the man he’s looking for.

Bousquet is in the refreshment parlour when he finds him. The man is naked, playing with the hair of some pet who’s head is resting in his lap. He inclines his head, Rousseau does the same as he closes the distance.

“Remind me,” The Anatomist chirps as he gives the girl only the most cursory of glances. “What the rules around your staff are?”

Bousquet’s lips quirk back in a smile.

“Why? Which of my staff do you plan on harassing?” The man’s voice is a drawl, his amusement thickened with wine.

“The one in the Play Room,” Bousquet had been looking at him all night, had taken a glass of champagne off of him, had already jerked himself to completion once thinking about him. “With the dark hair and blue eyes.”

Lyon’s brow furrows a moment as he thinks, then he shrugs and waves his colleague away.

“Graves,” He says. “Edward.” His fingers curl in the woman’s hair, gently at first, and then with direction. He relocates her willing mouth to his cock and eases back on the chesterfield with a knowing smirk. “Feel free if he’ll have you. He could do to lose some of the tension in his shoulders.”

Rousseau bobs his head in thanks, turns on his heels, and leaves his host to his pleasure.

*

He enters the Play Room through one of four sets of doors, to the right, unobtrusive and silent. The Play Room is a large room – a study during the day, he thinks, with bookshelves full of knick-knacks and bric-a-brac. The high white walls are broken by a few large pieces of art and several large pieces of taxidermy, relics from Lyon’s Grandfather. Most impressive of the lot is a Bengal Tiger, stuffed and set on display upon a marble plinth overlooking the room. Despite its once vibrant fur having been bleached over many long years sat before the immense window behind it, it was still an impressive piece. It was, the Frenchman felt, the reason that this room had drawn the play-actors in. The walls full of horns, antlers, stags, foxes and badgers (and no less the tiger) had drawn a certain crowd from the get-go. It hadn’t taken long for the room’s fixed pieces (including a few stocks and a set of well-worn Crosses) to be also include a hitching post, a few metal crates and a pen of sorts.

A chest to the left of each door contained various pieces of leather tack, crops, collars, and leashes, but he ignored these as he swanned into the room; easy as a summer’s day.

The man he’d been eyeing was still at his post, dressed in his butler’s blacks despite the heat of the room. He held a tray in his gloved hand, kept his back straight and his eyes forward, his gaze fixed on nothing in particular, and certainly not on a person.

There were a few in the room, a man and a woman fucking against one of the padded crosses, another man masturbating as he watched, and a pup leashed within one of the heavy crates while his master undressed on the other side.

“Bon soir,” He mimed the lifting of a hat as he came to stand to Graves’ side.

“Good evening, sir,” The focus came back into Edward’s eyes as he turned to address the guest. He’s taller than Rousseau, with lovely dark hair and soft blue eyes framed by a hundred fanning lashes. He’s perhaps ten years Rousseau’s junior.

“Can I offer you a glass? It’s a 14-year-old Chateau de Blingny, and is one of the first bottles they corked on the premises. It’s almost a dessert Champagne, with notes of peach, strawberry and cream.”

“Sounds parfait.” Rousseau flashes the boy a smile and takes a glass, giving it an appreciative sniff before imbibing. It is sweet, and he wonders not for the first time how much on alcohol alone Lyon spends for each of his unorthodox soirees. “It is lovely. Have you tried it?”

“Beg you pardon, sir?” He’s caught Graves off guard, and the shock in his face is genuine. “Me, sir? Oh, no sir, this is for the guests.”

“I seem to recall Lyon allows his staff to have a drink on working nights like this.” Rousseau’s counter seems to frazzle the man, though he keeps his composure well enough.

“Yes, sir, he does, but I don’t feel the need to drink as the others do. I’m perfectly happy without it.”

“Mm.” Rousseau makes a sound of ascent and swaps tactic. In all of the parties he’s attended, Graves has always been present in this room, a fixture as much as the tiger. The other staff moved around from party to party. “Non, non, of course; you’re a good boy.”

A touch of heat rises in the butler’s cheeks as his eyes drop to his well-polished shoes.

“Ah, uh, thank you, sir.”

“Not at all.” Rousseau takes another slow sip from his glass. “Do you spend all evening here?”

“Yes, sir.”

“In this room?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You must get tired, or at least bored.” Rousseau laughs, swirls his drink, and arches a brow at it. “It would drive me madness, standing here watching people fuck all night and not being able to partake.”

The man blushes again. It’s a pretty look that suits his bashful blue eyes.

“Ah, well,” He shifts on his feet, “It’s an honour to serve. I couldn’t, well, I’ve a job to do, sir.”

“But you are allowed to take part, are you not?” He keeps his voice light, conversational. It’s a question, not a pry.

“Yes, sir.” Edward’s answer is slow, and again that blush creeps into his face. “The staff are allowed should they wish. There’s an expectation that our, ah, participation is limited. We do have jobs to do.”

“Of course.” Rousseau drains the last of the Champagne from his glass and sets it to one side on a tray. He turns his attention out to the room. The man who’d been watching the couple had joined in, and the pup was now filating his master through the cage bars. He watched them with a passing interest before his eyes flicked back, just in time to catch Edward’s eyes. They flicked away, landed on the pup and his master, and then away again.

“Do you enjoy that?”

“B – beg your pardon, sir?” Edward shuffled again, glanced at Rousseau, and then back at the pair by the cage.

“The man and his dog,” Rousseau explained again. “Do you enjoy watching them?”

“That wouldn’t be proper, sir.” He was fully red in the face now.

“Marin.”

“Sorry?”

“My name,” Rousseau reached out and gently set his hands upon the tray. “Is Marin. Rousseau.”

“You’re Mr Rousseau?” The butler allowed the Frenchman to take the tray from his hands. “Mister Bousquet’s Anatomist friend?”

“You know me?” Rousseau set the tray down upon an end table and shortened the distance between himself and Edward.

“Y – yes, sir.”

“Marin.” Closer.

“Yes, Marin.” Edward’s back was against the wall, but he was looking now. Looking at the pair, his eyes glassy and his lips parted. Rousseau closed the gap, hooked a finger under the butler’s chin to draw his attention and kissed him. Edward made a noise, tensed, and then relaxed entirely. He returned the kiss, clumsily but with fervour, each grappling for the other until Rousseau ended the embrace by stepping back. Edward, dishevelled and panting, took all of a second to catch his breath before his back left the wall and he straightened. He swiftly brushed his hair back into place and smoothed the creases from his sleeves before fixing his tie with a somewhat shaking hand.

“I—”

“Sit.”

“What?”

“Sit.” Rousseau jerked his head towards a chaise lounge sat to their right.

Edward’s lips moved silently, his eyes followed Rousseau’s motion, and then silently he obeyed. He perched himself quickly upon the edge of the seat, his gloved hands digging into his knees, his eyes wide, staring.

Rousseau followed more slowly, pausing only to fish a leather collar and lead from the box by the door. Again, he closed the gap, taking a deep and perverse pleasure in the sight of Edward’s erection, pressed hungrily against the fly of his trousers. The butler watched him close in, and the clouding in his eye furthered as Rousseau’s leg pressed in between his. Edward drew in a sharp breath, his eyes never leaving Rousseau’s. There was expectation there, desire, but fear also; uncertainty.

Slowly, with a practiced flourish, Rousseau flashed the collar and allowed it to unroll. The buckle followed lastly, snapping to a still and dragging Edward’s eyes down. The butler swallowed, licked his lips, and slowly, decisively, extended his neck. Permission granted, Rousseau leaned in and wound the collar around the man’s neck, buckling it.

“Good boy.”

Edward shivered and pressed into his touch.

This close, Rousseau could smell his cologne – applied hours ago and faint, but stubbornly clinging like a veil. Sweet and faintly spiced, a gift no doubt from a wealthy employer. Beneath that, Edward smelled of soap and ever so faintly of sweat. A bath before the main event in the hopes of participation? A smile tugged at the corner of his lips, there and gone again.

Straightening up, Rousseau clipped the lead onto the collar and let it fall. He then made a slow show of unbuttoning Edward’s coat, then his shirt, and then he stepped away to admire Graves’s newfound state of dishevelment.

“Get undressed.”

“Yes.” Breathless, excited now. Rousseau’s cock throbbed in response.

Edward wriggled out of his coat, then his shirt, and then out of his trousers and undergarments. When he began to hastily fold his clothes, Rousseau quirked an amused eyebrow and yanked him down to his knees by the collar. He went willingly, clothes spilling from his grip as he acquiesced. Again, those pale eyes stared up, willing, waiting, and widening when Rousseau removed his robe, revealing his fully naked and aroused form beneath.

Edward licked his lips.

Rousseau smiled, and slowly, began to wind the leash up around his left fist. Tighter and tighter still. When all the slack was gone and Edward’s chin was forced up, his back taught, only then did Rousseau stop. He reached out, ran a hand through Edward’s hair and scratched him gently behind an ear. The butler leaned into his touch, his tongue flicking across his lips.

“You are a good boy, non?” Rousseau purred as he ran his thumb down Edward’s cheek, across his lower lip, and then into his mouth. The butler’s reaction was immediate, leaning in, the flush in his cheeks returning as he sucked at the preferred digit. When pulled away, a line of spittle ran from Edward’s lip and down onto his chest.

“You’ll need training though,” Rousseau’s right hand dropped to his cock where his thumb rubbed a bead of pre-cum into his head. “Vigorous, hands-on training, won’t you?”

“Yes,” Edward groaned, neck straining against the collar. “Please.”

“Bien,” Rousseau pulled the boy’s head closer, keeping him a bare inch from his cock. Edward licked his lips again, and his fingernails dug further into his knees. Their eyes met fully for one electrical moment, and then Rousseau smiled and let the leash go slack. “Open your mouth.”

[wooshboi]

Pinned post Here. Look

The names Woosh. He/him. If you know me from @homo-crafter as Mod Timmy, i dont really mind the use of my real names (Tommy, Timmy, Jimmy). my old blogs were @wooshmc and my shared one was @homo-crafter . if youre lookin for Charlie, shes not active much, but she will pop in every once in a while.

Here's some important stuff, i mean, kinda important.

I'm a Minor. no no naughty stuff.

we are allies and kind people here. if you cant do that, fuck off.

any mention/support of the drm team or sam gladiator isnt welcome, for when i go onto do some fandom stuff here.

Socials:

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yay i figured out how to make colored text im a cool kid now

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[urutaguja-art-archives]

Masterpost Archive

From main? Welcome! This is my art archive. Pls give it a follow if you don't wanna miss it!

Every artwork I make will be given the uruts archive hashtag!

EVERYTHING WILL BE REBLOGGED AT A BASIS!

Pls reblog all works, and like em, to make things easier.

Most tags from the art will remain the same as the main.

Refer to my DNI and warnings.

I have warnings before you follow or interact...

I create art that is deemed traumatic, problematic, or simply run of the mill NSFWish. However, such works are only for lore building.

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Hate so much self indulgent shit? This place is not for you...

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- You are LGBTQ+phobic. Especially with a lot of fuckin stereotypes. You are not wanted here if you create disgusting cringe flags for the real problematic fools.

- You support incest, pedo and similar traits in fandoms. While I make such contents for lore building, I still do not support this. Get yourself therapy, the fuck...

- You make AI art. That is not art, you are a disgrace to real artists and taking away real work, real jobs, and you are killing real talent. Fuck off if you also do NFTs.

- You are in the gacha online fandom. I hate your "art". It is not art, it is basically making an NFT. That is also how I find out you are a minor, if anything. You wanna be an artist? Pick up a pencil and use paper. Even if its like so fucking shitty, it is 100× better than Gacha. Trust me.

[beril66]

@northwyrm my good sir its only one of the best fucking Sci-fi books ever written! The Culture Series by Iain Banks is about the titular The Culture civilization, post scarcity, extremely advance deeply hedonistic (nice CONSENTUAL kind not drukhari or aeldari empire before Slaanesh kind) anarcho-socialist civilization 'led' by extremely benevolent 'Minds' extremely advanced AI... actually calling them AIs is misleading. Calling them AI is like calling a particularly dumb microbe a necron overlord the difference is THAT great. Imagine them more as Synthetic Gods. But benevolent.

Where people (organic and synthetic citizens called Drones unshackled lesser artificial intelligences but still fully people) can change their sex and SPECIES , having 'drug glands' for many purposes (pleasure , focus , a type of chronosense necron style) with 0 side effects , perfect freedom and equality really. The only rule in the culture is 'do not do anything to anyone unconsentually'. Money is a thing of the past , you can be literally immortal if you want yes organics too and many many more.

They live in either orbitals (MASSIVE construct around 3-5 million km in diameter) or massive ships nomadically. Culture citizens think living in planets is both boring and terraforming is an act of local genocide for the well local species. Besides orbitals are more fun!

But hedonists doesn't mean people of the culture do nothing. Despite almost everything is handled by the Minds (always capital M!) The people of culture organic or drone usually dedicate their lives (despite having immortality in their hands most citizens live around 300-1000 tops. New blood is important too) to many things such as art of all kinds , games , philosophy and despite Minds taking care of almost everything people still throw themselves into scientific pursuits. So what if a God came up with the concept 1000 years ago already figuring it out on your own is its own reward!

If you don't like where you are you can find another Orbital or GSV (General Systems Vehicle humongous ships bigges of them are 200×200×200 km) that is to your worldview or just...leave. You can leave or rejoin to the Culture whenever you want.

But the biggest thing about the Culture is 'what do you do once you have everything you can ask for and more!' This is where the Contact and Special Circumstances comes in! And I will no longer spoil because all the 9 novals are either about THESE mad lads and ladies or outside of other Culture Civs.

One thing though; unlike say Star Trek Culture is all about sticking their noses in other's business. Sometimes to great sometimes to not so great results but always with best of intentions and if you ever pick the books up you'll see the civs they stick their noses into are...not great. Some are 40k levels not great.

To conclude my novella the series is great. I highly recommend it!

Sorry for the wall of text I LOVE this series and since barely anyone knows it I infodump when someone asks 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️😭😅

THERE IS NO SCHNEIDER WRACK FANDOM ON TUMBLR WTF??? Do I just scream about this book into the void???

Books normally have like. Fanart. Aesthetic photos of book covers. People ranting about the themes.

Do I... Do I have to do this by myself??? 1 woman hype train?

[2jaeh]

ORPHIC : YUTA X READER

genre: smut, angst

warnings: mature themes, enemies to lovers kinda, kinda toxic theme, multiple smut scenes, swearing, alcohol, toys. 

slight jenoxreader 

word count : 17,5k (sorrry he’s my ult)

author: sin! 

You and Yuta never had a good relationship within your group of friends. The closest the two of you ever came to even slightly caring about each other was...in bed. After some friendly advice you decide to venture out of this toxicity and an old friend comes to the rescue. Thinking things will finally settle and you are ready to move on, Yuta comes to the realization that he wasn't a fan of you leaving him for someone else. 

A/N: WHOA this took me so long to write and rn its 2am and I barely proofread anything and just wanted to post it already! ALSO I just wanted to add Jeno is practically my ult as well and I wanted to use him for this scenario ! I promise Ill make it up to you guys with a full length fic of him lol Anyways enjoy. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You couldn’t understand why you hated him so much. Was it the way he did his hair ? The way he rolled his eyes at every snarky remark you directed at him ?

Or was it the way he stared at you from across the room, a smirk on his face signaling that it was going to be one of those nights.

You joined this collective of artists or the “blank space” as you were known to the public, a year ago. The team did everything from clothing to organizing crazy exhibitions, and the best part of it all was that the team members remained anonymous.

Now some of the members were already in the spotlight for their personal artworks and collections but anything under blank space was under that name only, promoted only under its respective social media accounts. The collective was founded by Taeyong, an introverted guy you met at a fashion show you once worked at. He approached you the night your art hit the runway and you’ve been working for him ever since.

You didn’t know everybody under Blank Space except for the people Taeyong trusted the most. Which from possibly 50 designers, only reduced to a total of nine close friends.

Taeyong, Johnny, Ten, Renjun, YangYang, Doyoung, Sungchan, Lucas and You.

And then, there was one person you called a friend when the mood was right. When he was not being an absolute pain in the ass.

Yuta Nakamoto.

————————————————————————

“So there’s a launch happening this weekend over at the shed” Taeyong announced to your friend group who were barely paying attention thanks to Yangyang attempting to stuff four marshmallows into his mouth. “Come on you can do one more” Lucas edged him on while Renjun shook his head disapprovingly and Sungchan tried to suppress his laughter.

“Guys please pay attention” Doyoung, the only type of authority around here spoke up, finally quieting down the room and allowing his best friend to speak.

Taeyong cleared his throat and shifted nervously as all eyes were focused on him again. “I’d like all of us to attend, maybe look for a new recruit” the timid pink haired boy spoke and everyone nodded knowing the routine of these launches at this point.

“Can we party hard or is this just one of those save face kinda gigs ?” Yuta raised his hand and the spark in Lucas’s eyes indicated that he may have had the same idea.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your leg over the other, “Yuta’s having a dry spell he wants to find some damsel in distress to get into his bed” you turned to him and he only smirked at your snarky comment.

“Well now y/n it’s only because you haven’t been in the mood for my dick lately” he pouted and Renjun threw his head back, followed by groans from both Johnny and Ten.

“I’m not in the mood for the two of you today seriously” Ten chimed in, rubbing his temples just waiting for this group meeting to be over. “Yeah me too” Johnny added, “you two fight the entire week then hook up over the weekend, we are tired.”

“Why are you guys tired ? Are you doing the fighting and fucking ?” Yuta scoffed and Doyoung jumped to his feet, folding his arms across his chest as he looked down at the scowling black haired man,

“This is a work meeting. If it's not about work” Doyoung eyes moved to you, “then we don’t want to hear about it.”

You nodded after getting reprimanded but Yuta being Yuta just snickered and downed the rest of his coffee, unbothered by what any of the people in the room had to say about him.

“Okay then well I’ll see you guys Friday night, if you find a possible recruitment just text the group chat and we will decide as a team then and there” Taeyong wrapped up the meeting and everyone dispersed back to their work stations to finish up any outstanding projects.

Blank Space had its own office block but you guys were the only ones with a private floor at the very end of the hallway, far away from the part-timers.

Everyone had their own cubicle made up of makeshift drywall, so it was private but not private enough. Taeyong felt that closed offices made no sense for a room of creatives and when working on bigger projects it was easier for members to move their stations to their partners' cubicles.

Your cubicle though had the unfortunate fate of being placed in front of Yuta. The members had tried to swap with either of you but neither of you budged. Moving meant there was a problem and showing that you had an actual problem with the other person meant it could sabotage the team and things may go sour.

So both of you conceded. Trying your absolute best to stay out of the other person's way during work hours. But it was impossible when bickering was just something you guys did.

From the very beginning You and Yuta had disagreed on almost everything. Both of you were pretty stubborn people and had a very similar mindset. Then on a random drunken night Johnny suggested that you and Yuta needed to release your anger in bed and the next day you’d be best friends. Yuta was pretty adamant on the idea and not only did you hook up once, it became this ongoing hell of fighting, building up your anger and releasing it during mind blowing sex.

Neither of you questioned the abnormality of your relationship. Rather, you ignored the red flags and the toxicity of it all and just assumed attraction only happened through liquor, high sexual needs and boredom.

“Hey y/n sorry about snapping like that earlier” Doyoung stepped into your cubicle, his gummy smile showing as he nervously scratched his head.  “It’s no problem, I’m sorry about my stupid comment” you pressed your lips together feeling a tad guilty that it all started because of you.

“You guys really love riling each other up don’t you?” Doyoung took a seat opposite you which was a bit unnatural for anyone who walked by. Doyoung was a very reserved person and never bothered to converse with any of you besides Taeyong. Unlike the rest of you Doyoung was recruited to handle finances and foresee the operation. He appreciated the arts but never delved in it, hence his awkwardness with the openness and unhinged personalities of the group.

“I get that it can be...exhausting” you sighed, propping your elbows up on the counter and pouting.

“Then why do you continue ?” Doyoung quizzed and you shrugged, “stress relief ?”

Doyoung chuckled at your words and pushed his spectacles up his bridge, “you guys are the ones stressing each other out,” Doyoung turned back to look at Yuta who was busy sketching and turned back to face you,

“All I’m saying is that maybe it’s time to look for a stress reliever that doesn’t result in anger the very next day, you guys need to move on.”

Move on.

Doyoung’s words swam in your mind hours after the short conversation had ended and you wondered if it was indeed time to move on. You looked up from your desk and to your surprise Yuta’s eyes were locked with yours as he twirled a lollipop in his mouth.

The issue was, as much as you hated him you couldn’t deny he was so goddamn hot. From the long hair to the edgy attire, physically he was your type. Personality on the other hand, it was like nails against a chalkboard.

Unbearable.

You kept your eyes locked with him until he slowly pulled the sweet out of his mouth, licked his lips and blew you a cheeky kiss from across the room.

“Moron” you mumbled and shook your head trying to ignore his devilish motives and get back to work.

Doyoung was right. You definitely needed to find someone to distract yourself from Yuta’s hold over you.

———————————————————————-

It was the night of the launch and everybody showed up with their own rides and  began mingling with former clients and partners. You arrived with Ten and Lucas who already decided to pre-game drinks just in case ‘there wasn’t enough at the party.’

“Hey please do us a favor and not hook up with Yuta tonight” Ten wrapped his arm around your shoulder as the two of you maneuvered through the groups of people. “Not planning on it” you replied in his ear, “and besides Doyoung already beat you to that pep talk.”

“Doyoung ?” Ten wrinkled his nose before ordering the two of you a mojito from the open bar.

“Yeah he said that I should move on, possibly find a new hookup” you shrugged, retrieving the drink and headed to a balcony that overlooked the first floor of the launch party. There were bodies of people everywhere, networking, checking out merchandise or just getting plain wasted.

“Seems like Lucas has already been cut off from the open bar” Ten pointed out, watching the tall man try to push his way back to the bar but the bouncer refused him to do so.

“Let me go help him out, I'll catch up later” Ten sighed and gave you a pat on your shoulder, “and yeah find a new hookup, if Yuta gets to sleep around so can you.”

You watched Ten disappear into the crowd and twirled the glass in your hand wishing what he had said was that easy.

There were no rules about hooking up with other people or just any reinforcements in general when it came to you and Yuta. But you we’re well aware of his loose sex life. There were many times where Yuta ended up going home with some random person if he wasn’t in the mood to hook up with you. But You on the other hand, never bothered these days because you were either too busy or whoever you met just ended up boring you to death.

“Y/n ?” You heard someone say from behind you and to your surprise it was a face you hadn’t seen in years.

“Jeno ? Oh my God” you quickly gave the blonde boy a quick hug, taken back by how much he had filled out since high school.

Jeno used to help you out from time to time during proms and fashion shows, lending out his strength to build anything from sculptures to installation art in the city.

“I was wondering when I was going to bump into you at one of these shows” his bright smile turned his eyes into crescents as he joined you at the balustrade. The Jeno you knew in high school was a lanky shy kinda guy but the Jeno you saw now was confident, mature and outright gorgeous.

“I’m quite surprised seeing you here actually” you chuckled shyly, “I didn’t know you’d pursue anything in this field to be honest.”

“Wow” Jeno mouthed and cutely grinned, “hmm that kinda hurt considering I’m the one who made the centerpiece of this entire launch”

Your eyes widened as you looked down at the structure of colored sharpies bound together to create a giant rubix cube in the middle of the party. “Holy shit that’s awesome my boss would absolutely love you” you gasped, knowing Taeyong absolutely loved installation art especially at a large scale like this.

“Oh who’s your boss ? I’m actually a free agent right now” Jeno replied and you quickly remembered the reason you were even at the launch in the first place. “Wait! We’re looking for recruits right now, let me just tell the others about it” you said excitedly, handing Jeno your drink and pulled up the group chat on your phone.

A few minutes later everyone confirmed the meeting place of a private room located on the second floor, quiet enough for a quick interview and decision. The best part of this job was everyone was so connected that there was no need to go through the process of a full portfolio look and a million interviews, all you needed was a trusted ally within the group to vouch for you and you were already one foot in.

“Ten and Yangyang took Lucas home after he tried to challenge the bartender to an arm wrestling match” Johnny entered the room and sipped his whiskey while Renjun and Sungchan followed close behind him. Taeyong and Doyoung stood in front of the room discussing something amongst themselves while you and Jeno took a seat on the burgundy couch.

Yuta entered shortly after, drink in hand and you noticed his eyes narrow in on Jeno who sat close to you. “Okay everyone who’s able to make it is here let’s get started” Taeyong clasped his hands together, “everybody this is Jeno Lee and a long time friend of y/n.”

“Not that long but yeah we did work together” Jeno chuckled and got to his feet, “well I’m an installation artist, I actually made the centerpiece in tonight’s launch.”

“Wow, it's amazing!” Renjun complimented and Sungchan agreed, giving Jeno a thumbs up, “yeah man that piece is brilliant.”

Jeno smiled from ear to ear as the meeting proceeded with everyone going through a few of Jenos works and what he could bring to the team. While your teammates concentrated on Jenos work all you could concentrate on was Jeno himself.

You wondered if Jeno knew how gorgeous he was in his effortless tank top and denim jeans combo. You hoped no one caught you staring but someone was well aware of your actions.

Yuta watched how you looked at the young guy, he wasn’t stupid, he knew when you found someone attractive and the way you were ogling Jeno right now, he didn’t like it at all.

The meeting ended and everyone welcomed Jeno to the collective. Johnny gave him a few pointers on which coffee to order from the cafe next to the office and Sungchan exchanged gamer tags with his new friend.

“I’ll see you guys on Monday” you waved as everyone exited the meeting and before you could make your way to catch up with Jeno and Sungchan you were being pulled back into the room.

“Your place or mine ?” Yuta mused and snaked an arm around your waist, looking down at you with dark eyes.

“Neither” you responded, “I’m gonna hang with Jeno and head home, you should find that little damsel to play with”

“Don’t be difficult y/n we're long overdue for our therapy session now” he groaned, pressing his lips to your ear and jaw. As much as he aroused you by just breathing you thought about what Doyoung had said, you needed to move on from this mess.

“Listen I think we need to just stop our sessions” you stepped away from him leaving Yuta slightly taken back from your actions, “let’s move on, be out of each other’s way and not make the group uncomfortable okay ?”

Yuta watched you press your lips together and finally make your exit, leaving him completely alone. You denied his advances for the first time since the two of you started sleeping together and something in him broke.

————————————————————————

Monday came around and the whole team buzzed about Jeno joining the team. Usually a new recruit would hang downstairs with the part time designers but because Taeyong trusted your judgement on Jeno, he was able to integrate with the team.

“Man that Jeno guy seems real chill” Yangyang hopped alongside Johnny and Yuta who were doing the morning coffee run. Yuta kept his composure despite knowing he wasn’t a huge fan of someone new joining the team and throwing off the dynamic. Hands in his pocket he ignored Yangyangs endless questions about the meeting, allowing Johnny to entertain the eager young boy.

“All I know is that having Jeno around means I don’t have to do all the carrying when Lucas bails on me” Johnny sipped his drink as they made their way back to their office. To their surprise Jeno had just arrived, looking like a lost puppy as he examined the names of the floors next to the secretary desk.

“Speak of the devil” Johnny threw his arm around Jeno, startling the boy and led him over to the elevator, “we’re at the top floor newbie, make sure to get an access card from Taeyong.”

“T-thanks” Jeno grinned and bowed politely to both Yuta and Yangyang before stepping into the elevator. The other guys barely bothered with Yuta’s reaction to Jeno because he rarely liked anyone enough to show any sign of enthusiasm. Jeno wasn’t going to change that.

The elevator opened to the top floor and Jeno awed at the chilled atmosphere you all had created here. From Ten’s thousands of plants around the room, Taeyongs fish, a pool table brought in by Lucas and gaming stations set up by Sungchan, it looked like paradise.

“This....is so cool oh my God” Jeno stepped in, his eyes wandering all over the place until it locked on you hanging over at the fish tank with Taeyong.

“Y/n!” Jeno jogged over and you greeted him with a wide smile and a tight hug, “Jeno you made it!” You gleamed. Jeno quickly shook Taeyong’s hand unsure of how formal of a boss he actually was.

“Whoa I feel like a principal” Taeyong giggled as he dropped a few fish flakes for his babies. “Wow, does everybody have their own cubicle ?” Jeno strolled around the room taking a peak at the vast versions of decor each cubicle adorned.

“Yeah” you responded, “but I don’t think yours is ready yet right Doyoung ?”

“That’s right,” Doyoung replied and folded his arms across his chest, “you don’t mind sharing for the week do you ?”

Jeno shrugged and looked over at you, “I was hoping to catch up with y/n anyway, I don’t mind sharing if it’s okay with you ?”

“It’s perfectly fine” you assured him and gestured over to your cubicle, “me casa is su casa.”

“I’m just gonna need some admin stuff sorted Jeno can you join me for a bit ?” Doyoung asked and Jeno nodded, giving you a quick hug before heading off to the administration offices with Doyoung. You watched the blonde guy exit and something just felt so much brighter in the office. You felt a sense of excitement of what’s to come now that Jeno was back in your life. But like all sunny days there always comes a thunderstorm and yours was staring you down like he was waiting to rain on your parade.

“What ?” You blinked, and Yuta shrugged as he peeked into your cubicle. “It’s a bit small isn’t it ? Don’t think two people can work in here” he raised his brow and looked over at you.

“It’s fine” you sighed and pushed past him, “it’s only for a week and he’s not a stranger to me, why do you care ?”

“I don’t” Yuta mumbled, dragging his feet back to his cubicle leaving you questioning his slightly odd behavior. Your mind quickly snapped out of it when Jeno had made his way back, that bright smile spread across his face and suddenly it felt like sunshine filled the room once more.

“I’m back!” He sang and pulled a chair opposite you, retrieving his laptop already looking like a regular in the office.

“Did Doyoung tell you about tonight ? Our little welcoming party over at Kleo’s Sky Bar ?” You asked, skimming through your emails for the day. “Oh, yeah he did, I mean you guys don’t have to do all of this” Jeno chuckled shyly, those pretty eyes distracting you for the third time that day.

“Nah we do it for everyone, and it’s better you know everyone drunk to avoid future surprises” you pointed over to Lucas who was coaching Yangyang through a trick shot at the pool table.  “Gotcha” Jeno nodded, as he watched one of the balls fly off the table and nearly knock Renjun in the back. It was chaos absolutely everyday in the office and you knew Jeno was going to love it here.

But even with Jeno in front of you, your new distraction, your new beginning, like Doyoung and Ten had said you needed, it was a habit at this point to look across the room, wondering what Yuta was up to. You watched him remove his cardigan, exposing his arms in those loose tank tops he always loved to wear as he concentrated on a sketch in front of him. Thankfully he was fully immersed in his work for once to take notice of your eyes on him. You continued observing him, watching him nod along to probably some alternative song blaring in his headphones as he sketched away on his iPad. He was so effortlessly attractive when he wasn’t aware of it.

You needed to snap out of this daydream.

“So are you seeing anyone these days ?”

“Hmm ?”

Jeno laughed as you finally realized that he’d been talking to you and you mentally cursed yourself for even being distracted by Yuta of all people.

“I’m sorry..Uhm no I’m not seeing anyone” you replied, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and Jeno nodded cutely, “uh good...uhm not good that you’re alone but I was hoping you weren’t...God I’m still so bad at this”

You felt your cheeks heat up seeing Jeno fumble over his words and get nervous about asking you such a question. He was so adorable and something in you also wondered if he was like this in a relationship, or in the bedroom.

Was he dominant ? Was he passive ? Yuta was very dominant and you’d even rile him up to the point of him making you shut up with his actions.

“Y/n ?” Jeno waved his hand in front of your face and you shook your head, you couldn’t believe you did it again. What the hell was wrong with you ?

“Oh my God Jeno I'm so sorry...these emails are just a pain in the ass” you lied but thankfully Jeno took the bait and nodded, “it’s okay I’ll let you get back to work, I was going to go down to the cafe, do you want anything ?”

“Yeah a cafe latte would be great thank you” You felt guilty but it was still only two days since you decided to cut off Yuta so adjusting was going to take a bit of time.

Jeno had left for the cafe and you quickly dove straight into your work, hoping the time would just fly by. That was until you heard a knock and watched Yuta saunter into your cubicle and take a seat right in front of you. You watched him prop his elbows on the table and his piercing eyes narrowed down on you as if he were waiting for an answer.

“Why are you here ?” You questioned him, doing your best to divert your attention from his chiseled arms and exposed chest.

“I want an explanation,” Yuta said calmly, his voice deep and monotone.

“To what ?” You knew fully well what he was talking about but you were really  not in the mood to talk to him about this.  Yuta sighed and cocked his head to the side, clearly annoyed by your response. “Why the fuck are we calling it quits when we are nothing to each other ? Can’t we just hook up and ignore each other as usual ?” You sensed the annoyance in his voice. Denying him that night was indeed eating him up since you’ve never done it before.

“Yuta that’s the whole point” you rubbed your temples, “if we are nothing to each other then we shouldn’t be hooking up, it just ties us together for absolutely no reason.”

Yuta stayed quiet for a bit and eventually just nodded, “fine do whatever you want I guess.” You watched him walk out, not bothering to give you a second look and you wondered if the unsettling feeling you were experiencing in this moment was how he felt two days ago.

Nothing made sense.

————————————————————————

The evening arrived and everyone was in good spirits because you were all headed to one of your favourite spots in town. “Lucas you gotta do karaoke tonight” Sungchan threw his arm around the large brown haired man as they entered the bar. “Hmm give me a few rounds of drinks first” Lucas stuck out his tongue as he gestured to the waitress to get the gang the usual table.

Thankfully tonight the bar was fairly empty which meant that the gang could really loosen up without the prying eyes of strangers wishing you’d all just leave.

“Wow this place is pretty cool” Jeno gleamed, allowing you to enter the booth first like a true gentleman before scooting right in next to you. Yuta opted for the seat at the very end as usual, so he could sneak off to smoke without bothering any of friends every couple of minutes. The position also gave him a clear view of you and Jeno who were snuggled up in the corner already lost in your own private conversation.

“Beer ?” Johnny nudged Yuta, snapping him out of his fixation. Yuta nodded and slumped back in his seat trying his best to focus on whatever Renjun and Yangyang were talking about. It’s not like him to feel this way. Usually by now he’d be seated next to you, annoying the shit out of you until he saw those pretty eyes glare at him with rage. Then after you’d have a few drinks you’d be leaning on his shoulder, playing with his rings until he offered to take you home, and then-

“To Jeno!” Lucas yelled, lifting up a shot glass of God knows what and rallied everyone to join in on his toast.

“To Jeno” you grinned leaning into Jeno’s side and clinked glasses with him. Jeno felt warm, comforting, he made it so easy for you to just enjoy having him around rather than it being a task. That’s what a healthy relationship was like wasn’t it ?

“Jeno Im glad and also sorry that you have to join the most annoying group of people ever” Doyoung half smiled and Taeyong waved his hand, “we’re not that annoying Jeno I promise” the pink haired boy reassured him despite Renjun and Ten agreeing with Doyoung’s words. Jeno just laughed it off and turned to you with a bright smile as he draped his arm over your shoulder,

“Kinda feels like fate that I bumped into you huh?”

You know he may have been joking but Jeno was really unaware that his presence really was the antidote to getting rid of the Yuta situation. The team loved him, he was someone you knew and could trust, it was all right there for you, written on paper. Nothing could possibly go wrong… right ?  

“Fourth round is on me” Taeyong held up his card to the waitress despite his tired eyes were quite evident. Everyone was well over tipsy and Lucas had already entertained the bar with his beautiful rendition of “Starboy” by The Weeknd and Johnny stepped in as his air guitar player in the back.

“Gotta go to the bathroom!” You whined while Jeno helped you to your feet as you pushed your way past a sleeping Renjun and a spaced out Sungchan. You could tell tonight was going to take a toll on everyone tomorrow morning.

You quickly exited to the back where the bathrooms were located. You walked down the dim hallway, mentally thanking yourself for not overdoing it with the alcohol as each step became darker and darker.

“Watch your step” someone said and you turned around to see Yuta leaning over a railing with a cigarette sticking out of his mouth.

“Yeah” you managed to say and entered the bathroom before he could say anything else. The lack of alcohol didn’t stop the intrusive thoughts of Yuta filling your mind as you stopped to wash your hands. All you could think about was if he was going to be there when you walked back. Was he going to say anything ? Was he going to do anything ?

Were you going to do anything ?

You stepped outside, head a little more muddled than when you walked in and your first question was answered, Yuta was still there leaning up against the wall looking ahead of him. You slowly began your journey back, keeping your head down to avoid any type of confrontation with him.

“Y/n….” He mumbled, reaching out until he had a grip on your wrist causing your eyes to look up at him. Why did he look so goddamn breathtaking right now, with his stupid black hair all messy and his eyes luring you in like a lion to it’s prey.

“W-what ?” You replied, unsure why you still allowed him to hold you or even have the nerve to stop you from getting back to the rest of your friends. Yuta pushed himself off the wall and turned your body so you were now pressed against the concrete and his body was pressed against you. Your breathing hitched as he ran his fingers lightly down your arms. His eyes concentrated on his movements while yours focused on his face, watching him bite down on his lip as he took in the position the two of you were now in.

“You remember a few weeks back and I had you up against this wall moaning my name ?” His voice was so low that it aroused you, making you mentally curse yourself for the lewd thoughts.

“Yuta…” you sighed but there was a hint of desperation in your voice surprising yourself but not really phasing Yuta at all.

“Yeah just like that” he hummed before pressing his lips to your jaw, and peppered kisses all the way down to your neck. You felt yourself willingly giving him access, melting into every kiss he placed on your warm skin. Yuta’s hands grabbed your waist and pinned you against the wall while your hands instinctively wrapped around his neck and into the soft tufts of his hair.

“Yuta…we shouldn’t…I shouldn’t” you breathed, feeling yourself pulling him closer instead of pushing him away.

“Tell me no and I’ll stop y/n '' Yuta said into your ear to which you responded by pulling him by his belt buckle and pushed yourself up to capture his lips. Yuta’s dominance finally showed when he slipped his leg in between yours, giving you the chance to gain a bit of friction your core so desperately desired at this point. You felt Yuta’s smirk in your kiss when you began grinding down on his thigh showing him the obedient whore you were for him. Nothing Yuta loved more was for you to beg for him, beg for his touch, need him. That was until the two of you heard footsteps and to your dismay it was the last person you’d ever want to see you trapped against a wall with the man you hated.

It was Lee Jeno.

“I’m sorry I - I’m sorry I’ll leave you guys alone-“ Jeno stumbled, he felt his cheeks heat up and made his quick exit out of the hallway.

“Jeno!” You called, pushing Yuta off and tried to neaten yourself. Yuta felt a heated sensation overcoming his body the moment he saw the look in your eye when you saw Jeno and the way you pushed him off like he was a piece of trash. Like he was nothing.

“You know maybe if you’d stop pretending like you don’t wanna fuck me then we can go back to normal” Yuta spat, not caring about the unfortunate situation that had just unfolded.

You turned around to face him and the next words that came out of your mouth you weren’t sure if you were going to regret it or not.

“You’re right Yuta that’s all you are to me and that’s all you ever will be, a good fuck for about an hour and that’s it. Other than that there’s no use for you. At all.”

You stormed away before Yuta could respond, but by now you would have heard his curses echoing throughout the hallway, the whole damn bar would’ve heard it. But there was nothing.

Absolute silence.

———————————————————————

It had been two weeks since the interaction with Yuta at the bar and what you had to him still resonated with you, wanting so badly to apologize. But each time you saw him at the office he paid you little to no attention, going on about his day peacefully and you didn’t want to interrupt that.

Jeno thankfully understood the situation and was more than willing to be the rebound guy, his only rule being that besides work related matters you needed to cut off communication with Yuta altogether.

‘It was the only way you’d get full closure and my mind would be at peace’ Jeno had said after you gave him the rundown of everything that had happened.

Jeno and you agreed to just casually date, nothing official and nothing too serious. You guys went on movie dates, cafe dates and kept the physical aspect to a minimum. It was simple. Laidback. A very normal form of dating.

“Y/n I’m gonna need you on a photo shoot set in a few hours” Taeyong peeped his head into your cubicle and you looked up at him with a frown, “I thought we were working on that rappers record party ?”

“Yeah that rapper wants you, Yangyang and Yuta to tag up the wall for a video segment of his photo shoot” Taeyong replied with a shrug and left you bewildered.

Yuta. From all the damn people he could’ve chosen you had to work beside the person who practically called trash in your last meeting.

Great.

You wrapped up the last of your work and headed downstairs to the parking lot where an Uber was waiting for you. Thankfully Yangyang  could talk anyone’s head off because just sitting next to Yuta during the car ride felt tense. Normally he’d be pushing you into Yangyang or commenting on how his tattoos were better than yours. But all he did was look out of the window watching as the buildings moved past, keeping his airpods in to avoid any type of communication with anyone.

“You guys are finally here! Good Mark Lee is waiting for you at the shoot location” a woman dressed in all black led you into what looked like a gymnasium turned into a giant canvas.

“Are we going to paint all of this ? Man this is going to take forever” Yangyang gasped as the three of you walked through cans of paint, staff members and models.

“You guys are the designers from black space who did that painting over at Jynx Club ?” A young guy approached who you quickly realized was the new hot rapper around town, Mark Lee.

“Uh yeah, that’s us” you chuckled shyly and looked around, “are we really doing up the entire room ?”

“Oh hell nah just the backdrop behind me” Mark waved his hand, “we just laid everything out for a few cgi effects but you guys, do ya thing over there!” You watched the hyped boy get called over by the director leaving the three of you faced with a gigantic piece of white board and no idea.

“Since you guys are uncultured and probably don’t listen to Mark Lee, let me be in charge of this piece” Yangyang pulled out his iPad and began scrolling through some of his sketches. “Be my guest” Yuta shrugged, completely disinterested in the topic and most likely just wanted to get done and go home.

Yangyang finally settled on something that utilized all three of your styles and you all put  on your white overalls, immediately getting to work.

The vibe of the whole job was quite chilled and because of the fumes most of the staff had left the gymnasium leaving the three of you to work in peace. “God I need to pee so bad,” Yangyang groaned as he dangled from a ladder, an aerosol can in hand and a nearly completed section in his corner.

“Dude take a break we’re way behind you anyway” you walked over to steady the ladder as Yangyang finally made his way down. “Thanks guys, be back in 20” he shot you a thumbs up and disappeared into the tunnel leading to the gym lockers.

The tension returned but it was somehow worse than ever before. Even though Yuta was minding his own business for the first time while retrieving a paintbrush he looked at you. There was no unsettling glare or the feeling that he was pissed off at you, he just looked at you like he’d look at anyone else.

And somehow that felt even worse.

“Yuta…do you mind if we talk for a bit” you cleared your throat and he looked over at you and removed one of his airpods signaling to you that he was listening.

“Okay Uhm well I want to apologize for what I said that night” you bit down on your lip, “I didn’t mean it, and it was selfish of me to even think of you like that after coming onto you in the first place.”

Yuta blinked and eventually just nodded, “apology accepted, and I can see that you like Jeno so I’m trying to stay out of the way” he shrugged and continued painting as if this conversation wasn’t that deep to begin with.

“Are you not going to get me back? Are you sure you’re Yuta ?” You raised a brow and Yuta’s manic laugh echoed throughout the gymnasium, “you want me to be mean to you ? Wow y/n that’s truly some kink you got there”

“Ugh you know what I mean” you shoved him playfully, unaware that the brush you were wearing was still wet and now Yuta’s jaw adorned a light shade of orange.

“Oh shit I’m sorry” you quickly said but Yuta had already responded by swiping his red painted fingertips across your cheek and smirked, “now we’re even.”

“Hey mine is way worse than yours!” You grumbled and flicked more paint at Yuta which then enabled a paint war between the two of you. Yuta giggled so much that for a second you forgot how silent he actually had been the past two weeks. He was back to his usual self and so were you, playfully making a mess with him until Yangyang emerged from the tunnel and yelled,  “What are you morons doing ?!”

You and Yuta stood still in the middle of the room both covered head to toe in paint but the scene was way too comical to hold in your laughter any longer.

“Yangyang we’re so sorry but look, it gave the canvas a little more color” you gestured to it and you weren’t lying, it actually did look a lot better than before.

“Fine you two can go on break, I'll finish up so we’re not sitting around until midnight” Yangyang huffed and returned to his masterpiece. “Is there a place to clean up here ?” Yuta asked and the woman from earlier on walked in and pointed to the tunnel located in the back of the gym, “there are bathrooms and showers back there, our crew provided fresh towels as well so go ahead” she smiled and you silently thanked her before heading to the tunnel with Yuta.

“God I have paint everywhere” you whined as you took a look at yourself in the mirror. Yuta chuckled as he began inspecting himself, looking at the peculiar fingerprints all over his face and neck. “This shit better not stain my skin” he grumbled as he picked away a piece of paint from a crevice in his ear.  “Tell me about it” you responded and began removing the overalls. All you could think of was jumping into that shower stall and allowing the hot water to melt away all the grime and paint when you noticed Yuta was already down to his boxers.

Your gasp made Yuta snicker to himself as he walked around the bathroom looking for the ideal stall to take his shower in.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before” you heard him say before hopping into one of the stalls and drawing the curtain. Despite his words being correct it still made your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. You guys were comfortable like this before, not now, not with Jeno in your life.

You shook your head and entered a stall opposite Yuta and a few rows down, just so you weren’t close to him but not far enough that made you feel alone.

“Fuck how is their paint on my ass ? That’s impossible!” Yuta groaned and you couldn’t help but laugh, “TMI, Yuta” you replied and Yuta scoffed, “says the person who’s responsible for this.” The banter ended and again all you heard was the sound of both showers hitting your bodies simultaneously, the air filled with steam and more unusual tension.

“Y/n ?”

“Yeah?”

Yuta was silent for a while and then you heard his water turn off. “Do you uhm mind checking if I got all the paint off my back ? I’ll uhm put my boxers on” he mumbled and you felt your heartbeat speed up.

First of all the Yuta you knew would’ve just walked over butt ass naked and pulled your curtain aside not caring at all. The way he acted now was out of character, but somewhat familiar.

“Yuta I’m still in the shower and naked” you chewed on the inside of your cheek while you waited in silence.

“I’ll close my eyes, I just don’t want this shit to dry up when we get back to work later” he replied and you heard his light footsteps coming toward you. Quickly moving your hair back and holding the curtain against your body, you slowly peeled back the material to reveal Yuta with his back facing you and with his eyes closed, like he said.

You peered down at his golden skin, taking in his broad shoulders and tiny waist as you inspected for any more signs of acrylic paint.

“Uhm yeah you have a little on your shoulder blade and lower back”

“Do…you mind…”

You bit down on your lip knowing this was already crossing the line. But you had just made up and it was your fault that he had paint on his back in the first place. It was innocent. That’s what you had to keep telling yourself while staring at one of the sexiest people you had ever met.

You began rubbing away pieces of the paint, ignoring Yuta’s whines when you used too much pressure. Your hands traced down to his lower back, settling in the dip as you tried to remove a very stubborn piece of paint.

“Ugh this one is not coming off” you scratched at it and to your surprise Yuta had let out a moan instead of the usual wincing.

“I don’t mean to kink shame but-“

Yuta spun around and glared at you, challenging you to finish your sentence but you were more concerned at the fact that the only thing protecting your nude body from Yuta right now was a thin piece of fabric.

“Yuta!” You scolded and he rolled his eyes, “oh please y/n I’ve seen it all, now can you please help me with the paint ?”

You watched wide eyed as Yuta stepped into the shower going back on his word to close his eyes and face the wall. You couldn’t believe what was happening right now but the quicker you removed the paint the quicker he’d be out of here.

“Aren’t your boxers…going to get wet ?” You watched him step closer to water already allowing his hair to soak up the warm stream. “Well you’re not gonna let me take them off with you in here and I’ll probably just go commando when we get back to the office” Yuta shrugged and you should’ve known that was one of his options since he has done it in the past.

You sighed and let go of the curtain allowing your naked body to be free and go back to work on his paint splatter. Yuta was calm and collected throughout the process, you silently commended him on his restraint, that was until he decided to turn around and look at you.

“Y-Yuta you promised” your voice was small but you still didn’t do much to cover up your body. Yuta leaned against the cold ceramic wall as he stared at you, his stare was dark, inviting you in like that night at the bar.

“I’m not going to do anything y/n unless you want me to” he reassured you, still maintaining a distance and doing absolutely nothing to persuade you. But did you need persuasion when all he needed to do was be in the same room as you?

The two of you stared in each other’s eyes for a few minutes and you had no idea who actually made the first move but there you were in the center of the shower stall, in a random gymnasium, kissing Yuta Nakamoto.

Yuta’s bare body was pressed against yours as the two of you fought for dominance in the kiss. You placed your hands on his chest to which he responded by wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer until his hardened member twitched against your stomach. There were no words, just actions. Each kiss only made you more desperate for him, not feeling this type of arousal since that night at the bar. He was the only person who could turn you on to the point that every image of Jeno was erased from your mind.

You tugged down his boxers with urgency and Yuta helped you quicken the process, quickly kicking away the piece of clothing and had you pushed up against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist. Yuta pulled away from your lips with a sultry bite on your bottom lip and lined up his member with your core. He kept his eyes on you the entire time from the moment he slipped into your wetness to the harsh thrusts he was now giving to you against the coldness of the wall. You felt like you were complete, filled with the right amount of passion and ecstasy. God you hated to admit it but nobody could fuck you the way Yuta did. Absolutely no one.

Yuta slowed down his thrusts and you brought your feet back to the ground, gesturing for him to take a seat on the floor and got on top of his member once more. Yuta threw his head back as you rode him relentlessly, grabbing onto your ass as he tried to meet your rhythm. The sight of him partially under the water and his swollen lips was delicious, you couldn’t ask for a better view right now. Yuta on the hand was also enjoying having you bounce on his length, quickly realizing that the women he had bedded during his time without you were not worth it. Not a single one of them made him feel the way you did. Even the times you guys were fucking around he’d sleep with other women because he didn’t want to admit that you are his best. You will always be his best.

“G-gonna cum” you panted and Yuta quickly rubbed circles on your clit to help you reach your orgasm. He watched your body spasm and you threw your head back with a soft moan. The sight alone made him come undone straight after you, filling you up completely.

You slowly got to your feet with the help of Yuta offering his hand and managed to finally catch your breath.

What the fuck did you just do ?

“Before you say this was a mistake and you hate me, hear me out” Yuta spoke up, “I need to know something”

You bit down on your lip. “Yeah?”

“Do you like me ?”

“What ?” You quietly questioned and Yuta sighed, rubbing his temples, “do you like me y/n ? actually like me ? Or is it you just like fucking me ?”

“I don’t know Yuta you know that I’m seeing Je-“you began explaining before Yuta quickly cut you off. “Don’t say his name, listen I know you like fucking me because that’s what happened right now despite whatever feelings you have for…Jen..him.”

“So what am I supposed to do ?” You asked, still unsure of how you were even going to face Jeno back at the office after this.

“Use me,” Yuta deadpanned, “keep me as your dirty little secret and I won’t tell a soul. I just don’t want this to end. I’m fucking addicted to this, and clearly you’re in need of me just as much as I need you.”

Yuta took a step forward and cupped your cheek with the palm of his hand. “I just crave you all goddamn day and nothing is fulfilling that need until right now.”

You knew exactly what he was talking about but you couldn’t bring yourself to share how much you ached for him. Late nights when you were alone you even pleased yourself with memories of him. You were unsure if it was lust at this point or you actually missed being around him. Despite every fight and argument the two of you had, there was something always drawing you in.

“First of all I don’t hate you” you sighed and he chuckled dryly before you continued, “I don’t know if this is a good idea but I’m only agreeing because Jeno and I aren’t serious yet and if we are-“

“I’ll back off I promise” Yuta quickly added and you nodded, “he can’t know about this, nobody can.”

“You have my word” Yuta pressed his lips together and for the first time he looked absolutely serious. Something in you made you trust that he wouldn’t fuck this up, because that would mean the one thing he wanted most right now would fall through.

You just hoped that this little need the two of you had for each other wasn’t turning into an…obsession.

————————————————————————-

“You guys are finally back” Ten stretched his arms above his head as you, Yangyang and Yuta returned back to the office after quite an eventful afternoon.

“Wanna see pics ? It turned out great!” Yangyang grinned quickly, running over to the older guys, showing off his artwork. Jeno was over at the game area with Sungchan completely invested in beating his friend in a round of Call Of Duty.

“Hey you” you sunk into the beanbag next to Jeno who shot you a quick glance before concentrating on his next move, “your hairs wet, why ?”

“Showered after the painting session” you answered diligently hoping there were no follow up questions. Thankfully he was way too invested in his video game to care much, you really weren't in the mood for an interrogation after half a day with Yuta.

Jeno asked a lot of questions when he felt insecure about something. Even though time had been short with him, it still somehow felt like a 2 year relationship. For a young guy Jeno was pretty old fashioned, he made you pick all the date places and never bothered to make the first move physically until you hinted to him that it was okay.

He was so different to what you were used to and you were afraid that if you didn’t speed things up with him this little secret with Yuta would turn into a reality.

“Hey y/n can you help me with lunch ?” Doyoung called from the makeshift kitchen area a few feet away and you silently thanked him for distracting you from your thoughts.

“Hey Doyoung” you smiled as you began opening containers from the Chinese delivery you guys frequented. “Just wanted to check in with you” Doyoung sweetly said as he grabbed a few utensils, “you and Jeno huh ? Was that part of my advice ?”

You pressed your lips together and nodded. “Yeah I guess so, it also helps that I’ve known him for a while now and he did actually have a thing for me in high school” Doyoung cocked his head at your words and leaned in, “and you liked him back or you’re seeing something in him now that you didn’t see before ?”

“U-uhm I think he’s hot” you chewed on your lip and Doyoung chuckled softly, “you know not everything is about looks or…hooking up, do you enjoy his time ? His interests ? His company ?”

You turned back to where Jeno was still playing his video games and you did feel a little confused as to what you guys actually did have in common. “I mean…” you began, crossing your arms across your chest, “we’ve only been seeing each other romantically for two weeks I think it’s too soon to tell.”

Doyoung combed back his hair and instead of bringing forth his insight in order to make you see things clearer he just nodded.

“You’re probably right, well I wish you guys all the best, it’s better than being with someone who doesn’t care emotionally right ?”

You slowly nodded and with that Doyoung began taking the food to the dining area leaving you with more confusing thoughts than you had before.

Lunch and the rest of the evening went on smoothly. Yuta stayed out of your way and there was absolutely no sign that the two of you we’re together that day. It was easier to fake seeing Yuta since the group knew the two of you would’ve been bickering straight after hooking up. It was the perfect illusion.

“Mark Lee’s party is at 9pm tomorrow night you guys, don’t forget” Taeyong looked around the room until he heard a confirmation from every single mouth.

“9pm ? Shit would it be okay if I only stuck around for an hour ?” Jeno sighed and looked over at Taeyong, “my brothers in town and I promised I'd get him from the airport at 10:30.”

“Well you’d have to show one of the guys here how to turn the installation on” Doyoung’s worried look matched Taeyong.

“I’ll be there to turn it on I’ll just need to leave straight after” Jeno assured them and squeezed your hand under the table, “it’s all really sudden but you’ll be okay right ?”

“I’ll be fine, I’m probably going to head home after the music video airing anyway” you smiled at him and he placed a soft kiss on your forehead earning a whistle from Lucas.

Yuta awkwardly shuffled at the sudden PDA and he hoped no one at the table noticed but it caught the attention of none other than Johnny Suh who narrowed his eyes at his coffee run mate.

The evening had wrapped up and everyone had already headed home except for Yuta and Johnny who were adamant on finishing a photography project for a band they were working with.

“Trouble in paradise ?” Johnny hummed as he edited an image on his laptop. Yuta, who was busy sorting out the Polaroids, turned to face his large best friend with a lost expression.

“Huh?” He raised a brow to which Johnny shook his head still staring at his screen.

“I can’t believe this, after all these fucking hellish months now you realize you like her?”

Yuta leaned in on the desk. “What the heck are you on about Johnny ?”

“Y/n” Johnny sighed and your name made Yuta’s heart race a bit, hoping Johnny hadn’t found out about the shower incident. God you’d hate him forever if anyone found out.

“Listen Johnny we-“

“You like her! After all those months of fighting I knew you were secretly in love and now” Johnny threw his hands in the air, “now that Jeno has entered the arena you have ruined your chances. Way to go buddy.”

“Wait what ?! I’m not in love with y/n!” Yuta scoffed. Saying that sentence out loud felt like a lie even though he couldn’t fully convince himself.  Was he in love ? Was Johnny mistaking love for just lust ?

That’s all it was and ever was right ?

You enjoyed fucking around with him and he was okay with it. That’s what he wanted too. Even if you didn’t answer his question of whether you liked him or not, it was okay. Whatever you wanted was okay as long he got to be with you.

“I’m not in love with y/n.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Jeno arrived at the party with Yangyang and Sungchan all helping carry equipment for Jeno’s installation. The piece was a pixel art board that formed Mark Lee’s latest EP cover, and once plugged in it gave it an animated effect, basically bringing the EP cover to life. You marvelled at the hard work Jeno had put in, it was just a shame that he wasn't sticking around to receive praise from everyone who attended.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay here ? I know how much you hate these parties” Jeno pressed his lips together as he brought you into a tight hug. You hummed and looked up at him smiling, “Only been dragged to one of these parties a million times, another round won't hurt.” Jeno responded by pressing his lips to your forehead before joining Sungchan in setting up the installation. You always wondered why Jeno opted for your forehead instead of your lips most of the time despite already having your first real kiss. You understood he wasn't big on PDA, but the only time you ever got to kiss him was at your apartment door when a date had ended or when you sneaked in a kiss at the cinema. As much as you liked his chivalry, God at times you just wished he took initiative and bent you over your kitchen counter and had his way with you. It was kinda humorous how Jeno was the ideal type of any women out there but for you, you needed an unhinged, sex-crazed maniac to match your energy.

You needed Yu-

“It looks really good Jeno.” Your breathing hitched when you heard Yuta’s voice from behind you. You turned around but to your surprise he wasn't alone. Yuta was accompanied by a familiar face, Mei, a part-time designer from a few floors down. The way she held onto his arm made something stir inside of you. Your cheeks burned up and you dare say it for the first time you felt...jealous.

You were used to seeing Yuta with many different girls but it was always some nobody that he never bothered to introduce to the group. He always made sure none of them integrated with his work life but Mei, Mei was the first person you actually knew.

“y/n its been a while, Oh my God you look great” she said sweetly and you returned a friendly smile despite your awkwardness. Yuta gave you a quick glance not really paying you any mind as he kept a steady hand on Mei’s lower back, the two of them practically looking like a couple. It made you feel uneasy. After all he had said to you that afternoon in the shower, It seemed like he didn't mean it.

“It’s perfect Jeno you really outdid yourself” Taeyong applauded as the rest of the team finally arrived, all congratulating Jeno on his first big project under Blank Space. Jeno shyly thanked everyone and checked his watch, sighing that it was already time for him to depart.

“You're going now ?” You walked over to wrap your arms around his waist. You didn't care much before about Jeno leaving early, before Yuta decided to bring a date to the party which meant you would definitely be on your own. Jeno pouted and stroked your head, “yeah, we're still on for Sunday though right ?” and you replied with a nod before sinking into one of his very warm hugs. You had no idea why, but the need to ease your jealousy and get back at Yuta was so strong that you ended up pulling out of the hug and kissed Jeno in front of everyone. Thankfully Jeno didn't shy away and maybe the guilt of leaving you made him return the kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you against your body.

“Get a room you guys” Ten joked when the two of you finally pulled away, and Jeno chuckled shyly before leaning into your ear, “let’s do that more often” he cheekily smiled and pecked your lips once more before making his way to the exit. Johnny watched as Yuta still looked visibly uncomfortable, more so now than before. But Johnny also knew how damn stubborn Yuta was and watched him throw his arm around Mei, departing from the group most likely for the rest of the night.

It was late into the night and Yuta was already way too many shots down to call himself sober. Mei was talking but he was not listening. Mei was a nice girl who had made it known to him that she liked him for a while now, but unfortunately for her she was not you. All Yuta wanted was you and again he cursed himself for being so fucking hooked. He wanted to make you jealous but after he saw you kiss Jeno it just came back to him ten thousand times harder. He came to terms with his addiction now in his drunken state he was scanning the crowd for a glimpse of the only person he cared about.

You.

“Hey I'm going to leave now...do you want to come with ?” Mei nervously bit down on her lip hoping the man she's been pining for months will finally take notice of her.

“Nah im good, I’m probably going to wait until my friends leave” Yuta replied coldly, his eyes still scanning the crowd as he took another sip from his jack daniels and coca-cola concoction. Mei nodded, disappointed that her night had not gone as planned and left silently, leaving her date to finally gain his freedom.

Yuta scanned the crowd for the tenth time until he did a double take at a figure in the back corner, dancing on their own with no care in the world. Downing the rest of his drink Yuta kept his eyes focused on you despite the alcohol blurring his vision and his body feeling heavy, he had to get to you.

You were in the same state as him, most likely worse since Lucas challenged you to a drink off. You had no clue when you separated from the rest of the group so you stuck a little corner hoping to sober up before heading home. As you swayed along to the music you felt someone wrap their hands around your waist and the familiar scent of that Tom Ford perfume made you realize who it was.

“Yuta…” you groaned, pulling his hands away from your body, still remembering how awful he made you feel a few hours earlier. God were you the rebound chick now ? The thought alone was sickening.

Yuta, still blissfully unaware that you were mad at him, still pushed his body against yours until your back was pressed against the wall and you had no choice but to look up at him. You watched him move his face down in order to capture your lips, but you quickly evaded it with a turn of your head. Yuta scoffed and sufficed for your neck, giving you soft wet kisses all the way down to your collarbones until you pushed him off yet again.

“What the fuck ?” He growled in your ear, “I thought we had a deal.” You rolled your eyes at him, there was the side of Yuta you hated the most. You wondered how long it would be until he factory reseted back to an asshole.

“I thought I was first choice” you snapped at him, “all your talk about no one can satisfy you like I can, use me y/n, I only want you” you mimicked his voice and flipped him off with your finger. Yuta knew you were jealous but it was kind of ironic given the situation. You were the one in a relationship, not him. “Oh so I'm supposed to see you suck face with Jeno but I can't have any fun y/n ?” Yuta had you back against the wall, this time his hand was locked on your jaw with his lips against your ear.

“Maybe I should've fucked Mei” Yuta’s voice was dark, you felt him smirk against your ear when his words clearly affected you, “Maybe if I fucked her she would've been so good that i would forget all about you y/n.” Your eyes darted to him and he cocked his head, challenging you, waiting to see how much you could take before you caved. Normally you’d be the one getting Yuta riled up like this. It was common knowledge that Yuta was a very jealous person and just mentioning another man sexually he would lose his mind. Once you were craving his attention and casually mentioned to him that if Doyoung was interested you’d let him screw you on his office desk, and Yuta responded by fucking you senseless in the supply closet until the only name that escaped your lips was his.

But now the tables were turned and you didn't want to hear about Mei. You didn't want to picture her next to Yuta let alone in bed with him. It was selfish on your part considering Jeno, but you wanted Yuta all to yourself.

“Shut up” you narrowed your eyes at him and grabbed a fist full of his shirt and brought him closer. Yuta traced his thumb over your lips and smiled, already knowing he won this round.

“Tell me why I cant fuck her right now y/n, tell me” he coaxed, and you responded by pulling him into a sensual kiss, your tongue slipping into his mouth and your hand palming his member until you heard him groan in your ear,

You pulled away from the kiss and pressed your swollen lips to his ear, “Because...you're mine.” Yuta licked his own lips at your words and grabbed at your ass,

“Show me I'm yours, baby.”

You had no idea when and how the both of you got to Yuta’s apartment in one piece but the moment he had his foot in the door, Yuta was tugging your dress over your head. “Fuck why do you always wear the most  complicated things” Yuta whined which you found cute even though you would never let him know that you were well aware of his adorable side. Sighing from victory, Yuta finally got your dress off and pulled you into his familiar bedroom, which you honestly missed so fucking much.

Taking in the familiar scent of his perfume and his slightly messy room, with posters on the walls, and a rack of band shirts - it was his little heaven and you loved it.

You walked over to lie on his bed, sinking into the soft fabric of the bed sheets as a familiar rock song began playing from Yuta’s stereo. You watched him as he discarded his shirt and ripped jeans, showing off his chest tattoos and belly ring, just the sight of him was already making you wet. Yuta was none the better, groaning as his boner pushed against the fabric of his underwear as his eyes took in your body, sexily laid out for him like you used to be.

“Fuck…” his lips parted as he watched you spread your legs, waiting for him obediently. Yuta crawled up onto the bed and nestled in between your thighs, his mischievous eyes looking up at yours before he began peeling away the thin piece of fabric revealing your core.

“You're…so…wet baby” he said in a low voice and leaned in to give your heat a soft kiss. The instant contact made your body shiver, reaching down to play with his dark curls. “Yuta…please” you whined as he continued his light kisses, not giving you the pressure you desired. Yuta looked up with an innocent face and cocked his head, “Why should I do it ?” His fingers traced circles on your hips and abdomen, waiting for an answer.

“Because…you’re mine Yuta, I want you…all to myself…I want to please me, only me” you threw your head back. Not having sex for over a month was really getting to you and the frustration had you saying just about anything. Yuta watched you squirm and after hearing those words he figured it was a good enough reward for his dear fuck-buddy. Yuta kissed your core once more but this time his tongue darted out every once in a while, awarding you with a better sensation. You moaned inaudible words as he began eating you out like a pro, lapping away like his life depended on it before inserting two fingers inside you.

“Yuta wait I’m gonna-“ you grabbed onto his hair, feeling your orgasm come on way too early for your liking as his fingers moved rapidly and his tongue licked away at your clit. Yuta ignored your plea knowing this was only the first of many and honestly he was glad that he was still the only man giving you orgasms for the past couple of months.

Yuta pulled away, a devilish smirk spread across his face as he watched you cum all over his fingers and just as your vision was in focus you had the pleasure of seeing him lick his fingers clean as if he just had the most amazing meal ever,

“Mmmm tasty” he bit down on his lip and winked at you. God he was so damn cocky, and it didn’t take you long to recover from that orgasm to make room for another. You got to your knees and sat back, your face now level with Yuta’s clothed member.

Yuta groaned as you palmed him, his length already twitching against your touch. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone but since the night you had called it off with him, his desire had subsided and he wondered if you were the sole reason for his high sex drive. You placed your lips against his belly ring, giving it a kiss before pulling down his boxers and allowing his member to spring free. Yuta cursed as your tongue swiped across the tip and you looked up at him with those large eyes, and Yuta knew exactly what you were waiting for. Positioning your mouth over his tip, you waited until Yuta grabbed a fistful of your hair and guided you down on his length, groaning loudly as you took in all of him.

Yuta’s hips began to meet your rhythm and the grip on your hair tightened, the sudden roughness made you shiver with excitement. You and Yuta always liked it rough, since it took out your anger on each other and any type of nurturing or romance would throw off the dynamic.  

Yuta threw his head back as he released, keeping you on him until you swallowed every bit. He muttered curse words as he pulled out and watched you lick your lips, swiping the corner of your mouth with your thumb and sucked it off.

“Yum” you mimicked his words from earlier with a smirk essentially driving Yuta crazy with lust. You giggled as he pushed you onto the bed and attacked you with bites and kisses, leading from your neck down to the valley of your breasts. “How long until you get hard again?” You sighed playfully but winced when Yuta’s teeth sunk into your skin, punishing you for your words.

“Cocky aren’t we ?” He moved back up to your lips and kissed you passionately. Just as you began melting into the kiss, Yuta pulled away and jumped off his bed heading to his closet.

“What are you doing ?” You groaned as you watched him sift through the mess of his closet until he finally retrieved a familiar box. “Yuta you’re literally hard right now, come on let’s just fuck already” you whined, knowing that when Yuta brought out that box it was his way of getting rid of your bratty attitude.

“If you wanna be impatient two can play at that game” he grinned and hopped onto the bed, pulling out his favorite pair of hair cuffs and with ease, cuffed you to his headboard. You watched him look through his box of toys, rubbing your thighs together excited about what his choice will be.

Yuta grabbed something out of the box and discarded the rest onto the floor, making his way back up to your body and pressed his lips against your ear, “you remember the safe word baby ?” Yuta pecked you when you nodded and you watched him insert a mini vibrator in your core and roll off the bed with the remote in his hand.

“I wasn’t even that mean to you” you grumbled, still getting used to the device inserted in you. Yuta shrugged and turned the device on, keeping it on a low setting as he watched you stir in his bed.

“I’m not punishing you for that actually, I’m punishing you for something else you did” he said calmly, pacing around the room butt ass naked.  You frowned and thought back to the party when he had found you, what did you say to him ?

“I’m sorry I pushed you…away” you pouted but a moan escaped your lips when you felt the setting turn higher and you watched Yuta shake his head, “nope that’s not it.” You groaned and threw your head back, unable to even think what the hell he could be on about. Yuta would get mad at every little thing so it honestly could’ve been anything.

“Can’t I have a hint or something ?” You pleaded and Yuta raised his eyebrow and eventually sighed, giving in too easily. “It happened in the beginning at the party” he said annoyingly, and finally something in your brain clicked.

“The kiss ? You’re mad over the kiss ?” Your words fell off when you felt the vibrator go another setting higher, the new speed was decent enough to start building a second orgasm. “You don’t sound like you’re apologizing for it” Yuta scoffed and dangled the remote in front of your face, “this goes up 4 more speeds y/n.”

“Why do I need to apologize for kissing my boyfriend when-“

Another setting higher.

“Fuck wait Yuta” you breathed, it was impossible to even keep focused at the new speed and the sensation was now running throughout your entire body. “You kissed him in front of me to make me jealous didn't you?” Yuta questioned and you nodded frantically, pressing your thighs together to ease the intensity, “yes yes oh my God, I wanted to make you….jealous because you brought someone else…and..fuck” just as you felt your body finally build up a perfect orgasm the vibrator suddenly turned off and you were met with Yuta’s cocky smile.

“You like to have it all don’t you y/n” he hummed as flung the remote aside and knelt between your thighs that were shaking from the orgasm denial. “You want to fuck me, but not let me fuck anyone else, you want Jeno but you don’t want me to get mad over it” he continued as he pulled the dripping wet toy out of your core and tossed it to the floor. Yuta placed his hands on either side of you and looked down at your defeated face and smiled, “Do you want me to fuck someone else?”

You shook your head and Yuta undid one of the handcuffs. He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek and again asked you another question, “Do you want to fuck me ?” and you quickly nodded, earning your second hand free from the cuffs allowing them to fall to your sides. Yuta placed his hand around your throat and squeezed gently, smirking as you arched your back, thirsting for him so desperately.

“Who would fuck you better, me or Jeno ?” Yuta mused as his hand released a bit of pressure on your throat. “Y-you” your voice was small and Yuta released your throat and his hand moved down to smack your thigh.

“Say it, say who will fuck you better” he hissed.

“You Yuta, you will fuck me better than anyone…better than Jeno” Yuta grinned at your words, a little surprised that you used Jeno’s name in such a blasphemous way. He was in euphoria at this point. It was all he needed to hear after continuously seeing you and Jeno look as if you were in love with each other.

It was all wrong.

You and him loved each other.

Fuck. He loved you. He really did.

Yuta pushed his length into your core and groaned as the realization of his thoughts and his conversation with Johnny all hit him at once. The sight of you beneath him, moaning his name and your confession that you wanted him over Jeno. It was all too much.

You moaned as he thrusted into you, his hips violently hitting against yours as your nails dug into his lower back. The lewd sounds filled the room and for a second the two of you looked into each other’s eyes, both feeling something…different. Usually Yuta would be fucking you from behind, his favourite position because he loved looking at your ass but tonight especially after his sudden questioning, he took care of you differently.

You don’t know what came over you and it was yet another thing you never did during sex but you pulled him down to kiss you. Your lips moved passionately against his, desperately clinging to his body as his strokes became longer and more powerful. Yuta sighed into the kiss, palming your cheek and his movements suddenly became more gentle as if he were making love to you, not fucking you.

“Yuta…I’m close” you moaned into his ear, loving this new feeling of him on your body. Yuta hummed in response and quickened his pace, making sure to sneak in a kiss every now and then until he finally brought you to your long awaited orgasm. You watched him bite down on his lip as he thrusted into you, chasing his own orgasm until he pressed his against your ear and said the words you never thought you’d hear from him.

“I love you y/n”

Your body slightly froze as Yuta finally came and he rolled off your body, mentally cursing himself for allowing those words to escape his mouth at this moment. But it’s what he felt.

Johnny was right.

“W-what ?” You finally managed to say and turned to him. Yuta licked his lips and kept his focus on the ceiling above him.

“You heard me right” he said calmly and you felt your heart race. Where was this coming from ? He was the one who always implemented the no romance rule and he chooses now, the moment you’re seeing someone else to confess to you.

“I have to go” you murmured and jumped off the bed, starting to collect your clothes from the floor. You heard the bed creak and Yuta sat up and watched you dress up. “It’s late now y/n and you drank, stay the night and leave when the suns up” he insisted, eventually grabbing his own boxers,

“Here you can sleep in one of my shirts and you’re welcome to sleep in my bed for the night.”

“Y-you…that was one of the rules…no staying over” you were biting on your nails, everything that had happened in the last ten minutes made no sense. Yuta shoved the shirt into your hands and sighed, “Look, we don’t have to talk about what I said or what happened, just stay the night and you can go back to your perfect life with Jeno.” Yuta began making his way to his door when you grabbed onto his arm making him stop in his tracks,

“Where are you going ?” You asked him softly.

Yuta looked at you and sighed, “I’m going to sleep on the couch.”

“Yuta..”

“What ?”

“Stay with me.”

—-—————————————————————

You had no idea why you had told him to stay in bed with you considering all that had happened a few minutes ago. But here you were, curled into his chest listening to his heartbeat as he lightly stroked your hair.

“How…long ?” You broke the silence and felt his heartbeat slightly race, “The realization came recently but I’ve…always liked you y/n” Yuta responded softly.

“Well you don’t have a good way of showing it” you rolled your eyes and Yuta’s soft laughter filled the room. “Well at first you actually were annoying but I did find you cute” He replied and shifted until you were on your back looking up at him,

“You put up with me and we’re not afraid to fight back. You know it’s not even about the sex, I think we’ve always enjoyed each other’s company, we just have a weird way of showing it.” You listened to his words and did a bit of reflection for yourself. You were already well aware that he occupied your mind 24/7 and did not enjoy seeing him around other girls he would eventually sleep with. But was this…love ? You weren't so sure.

“Do you ever think it’s more of an addiction rather than…love ?” You looked up at him, hoping your words did not offend his sudden confession in any way. Yuta sighed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling deep in thought.

“What is love then ?” He murmured, clearly by the look on his face he had been pondering on this question for a while now. You joined him in laying on your back and looked up at the ceiling, “love is when the other person completes you” you began, “when you’re having a dull day and just the sight of them could turn that around. Love is wanting to protect that person all the time, it’s just love.”

Yuta turned to you, “have you ever been in love ?”

You shook your head. “I don’t think so.”  Yuta shrugged and returned his focus above him, “whatever you just described is how I feel, but maybe I’m just still hung up on the Jeno situation.” You felt a pang in your chest as if you just completely destroyed his spirit. You always saw Yuta as a strong confident presence, yet the person next to you seemed lost, he looked broken. But deep down you knew that whatever he was describing had floated in your head from time to time, maybe it needed to be said out loud for you to finally realize.

“Give me a week”

“Huh ?” Yuta’s eyebrows raised at you.

“Give me a week to figure all of this out and we will have this talk again” you sat up and looked back at him. Yuta propped himself up on his elbows and shook his head, “y/n, if you don’t feel the same way it’s okay I won’t come in between you and…Jeno anymore.”

“Yuta”

“Hmm?”

You pulled the boy by his shirt until you were able to lock your lips with his, slipping your tongue into his mouth and he mimicked your actions before pulling away, a confused expression spreading across his face.

“I don’t know where this is going to go and whether we’re right for each other,” you chuckled dryly, “but I will always want you Yuta, you’re not coming between Jeno and I because the one who wants… .”

————————————————————————

It was finally Monday and you already regretted seeing Jeno at the office since you faked a terrible hangover to get out of the Sunday date, something that wasn’t entirely a lie. You spent the whole of Sunday laying in your bed thinking about the night you spent with Yuta and all that was shared during the morning.

You thought back on your own words about what your version of love was. Protecting someone. You reminisced about the days when Yuta got sick after a night out and you were the one to take care of him despite his protests. You thought back to when the two of you were working on a project, arguing as usual and you managed to slip on a wet paint spot, causing you to sprain your ankle. Yuta was the one to help you around the office when needed, he wasn’t appointed to you nor did he have to use up his own time to help you but he did it anyway.

When you were having a dull day the person you loved would find a way to brighten it up, just the sight of them was enough. There was an occasion where a client got real mean with you in the office, and hated the project you worked almost a month on, refusing to pay you for the labor you had put in. Yuta had seen the commotion and joined you in your booth and the two of you flooded the clients company with hilarious bad reviews anonymously until you were literally tearing up from laughter. That was one of the rare days the two of you didn’t get into an argument and the moment completely slipped your mind. You had  forgotten that Yuta and you actually shared fond memories of each other outside the bedroom.

You thought about every moment you got to the office and Yuta would be sticking his tongue out at you, calling you names and being a jerk as usual. But days when he had to work out of the office felt boring, empty, it wasn’t worth sitting in your cubicle without seeing him across from you.

But then after feeling the warm fuzziness of knowing Yuta felt the same way about you, your phone buzzed with Jeno’s name across the screen. Why were you doing this to him ? Why was Jeno in the crossfire when all he wanted to do was get to know you better ?

All you ever wanted was a distraction from the man you were scared to fall in love with.

“Heyyy you, you feeling okay ?” Jeno beamed when you entered the office, immediately bringing you into a tight hug and ending with a kiss on the cheek. You nodded and the sense of guilt over took your body as you looked up at his cheery smile.

“I heard you guys got so wasted at the party, damn I wish I stayed” Jeno giggled as the two of you walked hand in hand over to your cubicle. “Yeah it was…crazy” you faked a smile before settling in your seat. You looked across, a force of habit and you were greeted by a soft smile from Yuta before quietly returning to his work.

“I was thinking we should go see that new marvel movie tonight, what do you think ?” Jeno’s eyes were so bright and full of energy that everytime you looked into them it just made it harder to keep up your facade. “I’m pretty busy this week but hey Friday you can come over, I…need to talk to you anyway” you bit down on your lip and Jeno’s expression changed from excited to slightly wary, clearly noticing that something wasn’t quite right.

“Is….everything okay?” He asked in a staggered voice, and you slowly nodded and reached to squeeze his hand, “yeah let’s hang out on Friday okay ?” You smiled and Jeno pressed his lips together and nodded. You watched him exit your cubicle and all that was left in your view was the only person you wanted to see today, Yuta.

Yuta looked up and caught your stare, smiling softly as he rested his chin on the palm of his hand and winked at you. It was sweet and innocent, nothing like how he usually acted from across the room. You found yourself blushing and hid your face until you heard a beep come from your phone. Opening the messenger app you were greeted by a picture of yourself hiding your crimson cheeks with the message ‘Cute’ attached to it.

y/n: didn’t take you for a simp.

yutaa: fuck off, I have a folder like this.

You stifled your laughter when Yuta sent a screenshot with a folder just of you in your cubicle. From you flipping him off, to you glaring at him clearly pissed off at something he had said, and one of you trying your best to pay attention to whatever story Yangyang was on about.

y/n: oh my god you’re a BIG SIMP.

yutaa: maybe.

y/n: well I do have ONE of you that I don’t have the heart to delete.

yutaa: oh really ?

You sent Yuta a picture you absolutely treasured of him in your bed fast asleep hugging one of your plushies. It was one of the last nights you had with him before things got sour. Normally you’d never allow him to nap in your bed after a hookup but he looked so at peace and so adorable  that you decided to bend the rules a little.

yutaa: that was a good ass nap. yutaa: simp.

y/n: maybe.

The rest of the day went on and honestly you felt as if you were on cloud nine, chatting to Yuta like he was your high school crush. Smiling every time he texted back and glancing up every now and then, waiting for him to look at you with that cheeky grin. But as reality set in and Yuta’s smile faded, you were still dating another man. Who now had his arms wrapped around your waist peppering kisses all over your neck and shoulder while Yuta looked on, not being able to do a thing about it.

————————————————————————

The team decided to head out for dinner the next day, and something in Jeno had switched. After Yuta had watched him cuddle you until the day was over, you barely even got the chance to talk to Yuta face to face since Jeno offered to take you home. He was being suspiciously clingy and you wondered if he suspected anything.

“You’re okay with sharing a pasta and plate of fries ?” Jeno smiled over at you, one hand rubbing your waist and the other holding up the wooden menu. You nodded and Jeno placed his order in with Johnny who was doing the rounds for everyone. Yuta sat across from you and you could feel his stare on you from time to time, and the moments it felt like he was staring, Jeno’s grip on your waist got tighter.

“Is...is something wrong ?” you leaned into Jeno as he took a sip of his water. Even though he was smiling, his jaw was clenched signaling that he was trying to suppress himself from doing or saying something. “I'm just really tired” he rubbed your back and to your surprise leaned in to capture your lips. It was innocent but your lack of effort to mind his feelings wasn't good enough for Yuta. Frankly he had no idea where you two stood at the moment, for all he knew you could be playing him right now. It probably wasn't the case though, but Yuta was not really used to his life getting a happy ending. The night drove on and the group split with you, Ten, Doyoung, Taeyong and Renjun seated at the table while the rest of the guys were hanging around the bar babysitting their drinks. Jeno was really a changed man since high school. He was so confident, well-built and a good socialite with the team. You watched him lean against the bar counter, drink in hand entertaining whatever story Lucas had for the night.

“So you and y/n huh ? Have you scored yet ?” Lucas raised his brow cheekily to which Jeno chuckled and shook his head, “Really Lucas ? were talking about my sex life now ?” Yuta was in conversation with Johnny and Sungchan but he couldn't help but overhear your name in the chat next to him.

“Yeah man, I'm sure she’s good too after locking down my boy Yuta” Lucas smirked and Yuta flinched when the boisterous man grabbed onto his shoulder and pulled him into the conversation. “Even though they hate each other I just know they had the best hook ups” Lucas laughed despite Johnny trying to make him shut up.

“Well that’s all over now” Jeno’s eyes narrowed on Yuta before looking up at Lucas, “she invited me over tonight and considering the type of pictures she sent me, i'm guessing it’s going to be one hell of a night.” Yuta’s chest felt tight not only at the possibility that you may have invited him over to finally sleep with him but mainly because of the way Jeno spoke about you. He probably only shared that information to appease Lucas but hinting at you sending him nudes was not something you would like the guys to know about.

“She’s really been trying to speed up the process between us too it's cute actually” Jeno continued as Yangyang and Lucas egged him on, “that night after that painting you guys did for Mark Lee she was practically begging me to fuck her after our movie date. God if my brother didn't give me all those errands I would've done so right on the kitchen counter.”

Yuta shot back the rest of his drink and stormed off as Lucas and Yangyang hyped up Jeno, pouring him another shot and laughing erratically in their drunken state. From where you were seated you saw Yuta storm off and watched Johnny run after him worriedly, making you slightly anxious.

“Yuta don't listen to them man '' Johnny huffed as he finally caught up to his friend a few blocks down from the restaurant. “I dont fucking care man I really dont” Yuta chuckled dryly and ran his fingers through his hair, “It doesnt matter because at the end of the day im still the worthless piece of shit and guys like him are God fucking sent.” Johnny watched Yuta’s expression change and he turned around to find you standing there, desperately looking between them for context.

“Yuta what happened ?” you asked in a small voice and the familiar sting in his chest returned, hearing you call out his name, following him out here while Jeno was still inside, it was all just confusing to him.

“I thought you giving us a week meant you felt the same way and I could finally relax knowing you were going to be with me y/n” Yuta groaned in frustration while Johnny took a step away from the heated exchange. You shook your head as you approached him, “yes I did, so what's the problem ?” Yuta scoffed and folded his arms. “What's the problem ? doesn't look like anything’s changed y/n. I have to see you act like the couple of the year after telling you how I felt about you ? That's brilliant.”

“I told you I would speak to him this week” you snapped, unbothered by the now random onlookers who were concerned at the scene taking place. “But fine honestly Yuta if you really want me to say it you have my permission to fuck some random girl until im finally free.” You rolled your eyes about to turn on your heels to leave when you felt a tug on your wrist and Yuta pulled you into a kiss. He held your face in his hands as he kissed you passionately, sighing as he slowly pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours,

“When I said I loved you I fucking meant it y/n, I only want you. But please, if youre going to invite him over or send him dirty...pictures atleast tell him not to tell the whole fucking world about it.”

You took a step back and frowned at his words, “What ? What pictures ?”

“The ones he told Lucas about, y/n honestly I don't care I was just mad that he was airing your business out like that” Yuta bit down on his lip and yet again you were deeply confused as to what he was on about.

“I...I didn't send him anything” you responded, “I didn't invite him over tonight and I definitely haven't sent him any...nudes.”

“Tell that to him then”

You turned around and noticed most of the team was now outside watching the commotion go down and right in front was Jeno, who by the look on his face had most likely seen the kiss you just shared with Yuta.

Jeno approached the both of you with an irritated groan and scoffed, “I was going to ignore the signs but God I was so right, you were still fucking him this entire time ?” You lowered your head and Yuta glared at Jeno, “If you knew all this time why didn't you just break up with her and move on ?”

Jeno rolled his eyes and took a step closer to Yuta to which Johnny quickly responded by placing a firm hand on Jeno’s shoulder making sure the boy was at safe distance from his best friend.

“I'm not like you Yuta” Jeno licked his lips, “unlike you I respect her, I understand that she was going back to you because you like to play around, you never cared about her until I showed up. You were threatened by the fact that you were no longer in control of her.”

“Nobody is in control of me first of all” you chimed in, “and second what’s this about me inviting you over and sending you nudes that apparently the whole fucking bar knows about”

“It's just banter y/n” Jeno shook his head.

“Banter ?” Yuta repeated, “didnt know talking about how you were going to fuck your girlfriend on the kitchen counter in front of her coworkers is banter.”

“What?” you walked up to Jeno, “W-where is this coming from Jeno ? you’re not like this.”

“Well how am I supposed to be y/n ?” Jeno raised his voice, “you wouldn't mind if he said that to you. You're always letting him get away with shit. Im the one sitting around here knowing my damn girlfriend is fucking around with someone else yet somehow still trying to forgive you and figure this out.”

“Why, though ?” you shrugged, “Is it because you want to prove to other people that you're the bigger person ?”

“Would you rather be with someone like him ? someone who will probably throw you aside after he’s bored, or someone like me who was always patient, always willing to put you first no matter what” Jeno reached for your hand, his eyes widening when you shrugged him off.

“Someone who I barely know that talks about me to my friends like im just some kind of whore or someone i've known for a while and not once shared anything intimate that happened between us,” you looked over at Yuta, “It was my one rule, the same rule I gave you Jeno and he was, Yuta is the only one who has abided to it.”

“y/n Im sorry,” Jeno lowered his voice, “we hurt each other and I want to fix that, just make your final decision...me or Yuta”

“Jeno….I apologize for using you, I'm sorry for leading and hurting your feelings” you began and Yuta slowly shook his head and turned around ready to hear the bad news that always seemed to follow him,

“But as crazy as it may sound to everyone here, I'm most like myself when I'm with Yuta, I love the person I am when I'm around him” Yuta turned at your words and instead of the sting he felt a sense of warmth. Hearing you say that in front of everyone who wanted the two of you apart, besides Johnny ofcourse, was absolute bliss.

“Who knows maybe it won't work and it will explode but I really want to try, that's the thing I'm most sure of, I really really want to try” you smiled as Yuta made his way over to you and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Let's get out of here” Yuta whispered before placing a kiss on your cheek and draping his arm over your shoulder as the two of you exited the street walking away from the mess and not even giving it a second glance.

The two of you ended up at your apartment full of smiles and giggles as you slowly discarded your clothes on the way to the bedroom. Once your back touched your soft duvet covers Yuta pressed his body against yours and peppered your skin with kisses all the way up to your ear. “I want to try something different” he whispered and you nodded in response while Yuta pulled his shirt over his head and discarded his jeans. Yuta pulled you on top of his body and returned to your lips, kissing you slowly and passionately. His touches were so delicate and nurturing that every time his fingers ran down your back you felt butterflies in your stomach. You unhooked your bra shimmied out of it, still attached to the addictive taste of Yuta’s lips. He slowly rolled you onto your back and left soft kisses all the way down your neck, down the valley of your breasts until he reached your abdomen. You watched as he pulled your underwear off, looking at your body like it was the most beautiful thing he had seen. That was it. Instead of lust he looked at you with love. He looked like he wanted to take care of you, be gentle with you, savour every moment he had with you. Your breathing hitched when you quickly realized that he inserted himself inside of you and used one arm to steady himself on the bed as he lent down to meet your lips. His strokes were slow but sharp, digging his nails into your thigh from time to time, preventing himself from losing control. Wanting to feel more of him you signaled that you wanted to switch positions and Yuta licked his lips as he watched you place your knees on either side of him and sit down on his member. “F-fuck” he cursed as you began to ride him, keeping to his wishes of keeping things calm and slow. Yuta wrapped his arms tightly around your waist as the two of you kissed in between your moans, twirling your tongue with his as your hips slammed into his.

“Y-Yuta…” you moaned, feeling a tear escape your eye as the long night and the building orgasm caught up with you.

“Yes baby ?” he hummed in your ear.

“I really fucking love you” you sighed, just the words finally leaving your mouth made you sob with joy. It felt so fucking good to finally say it out loud.

Yuta responded by flipping you onto your back and chased both his and your orgasm, fucking you with his usual intensity until you came and he followed straight after, filling the room with heavy pants and both of you trying to catch your breath.

“I love you too y/n” He finally said, bringing you to his chest and pressed his lips against your forehead.

The two of you lay in your bed both napping for a bit until the first sight of dawn began filling the bedroom. You winced at the sun and hid your face in Yuta’s arms as he grinned at your actions.

“I don't want to go to work!” you grumbled.

“Fuck go to work after all the drama you caused ?” Yuta pinched your cheek playfully, earning a nudge in his side from you.

“Anyway” Yuta continued, “I got an email from Taeyong and he said if we want we can work remotely, he gave us the Okinawa project.” You sat up in bed and turned to face him, “the Okinawa project ? Its 9 months in Japan, the same project the whole damn building was trying to get” you blinked, still unsure if Yuta was just fucking with you.

“That's the one” Yuta shrugged, “anyways he said he was going to send either of us anyway since he knows we always get the job done. Oh and he actually said something really funny actually”

“What ?” you raised your brow and watched Yuta reread the text message on his phone.

“He said Doyoung was the one who suggested the two of us be the ones to go, who would've thought ?” Yuta closed the messages and tucked himself back into bed.

“Yeah” you smiled, “Who would've thought.”

THE END

[reactivatedrockstar]

EYO! This post is pinned because I can't do pages on mobile! Therefore, it will contain all the information you need to know about my boundaries, this AU, and my portrayal of Bonnie! I know I said to read all of it before following, but HONESTLY you only really need to read the rules unless you plan to have threads. (My headcanon tag is Merchandise {Headcanons} if you want to read up, just don't reblog please.) All that you need is under the

Rules

I am on mobile, so my tags are very minimal.

Do not reblog threads you are not apart of.

I'm lenient about this, but do not reblog art or memes from here, as it clogs up my feed.

Don't poop on the floor

I am a mobile user. Maybe once in a while, I'll pop onto a computer at the library to fine tune posts like this, but it's hard, if not impossible for me to use the site to its full extent. As such, icons will not be used, tags will be scarce, and trimming posts will not be done the way I like.

Trimming posts are a strange area. I have adhd and autism, so the best way for a thread to be trimmed is with the last response still attached. This way I can remember what's going on in the thread, which will lead to an overall better rp experience.

RESPECT MY FUCKING BOUNDARIES. I've had some issues with one individual who sucked me into this Fandom, they refused to take no for an answer, and forced me to rp an incest ship. This has scared me away from the rpc for years. If I say no, it does not mean "convince me," it means no. I have a three strikes your out policy.

I have a full-time job as a daycare teacher. I am not always online. Do not pester me for replies.

I have kept up with the lore moderately well, but if I don't know something, or have forgotten something, do not bully me. I have zero tolerance for it. You respect me, and I respect you.

The AU

Prior to the events of security breach, Monty was a new animatronic that was incredibly jealous of Bonnie. He didn't understand why he got to be on the stage when he played the bass even better than he did!! This resentment eventually lead for Monty to do the unthinkable. He asked to talk to Bonnie, where he threw him against the wall, slashed his torso open, ripped out the wires, and smashed a bowling ball into his head. Once the deed was done, Monty then hid the body away where it was never found.

For a whole year, Bonnie lay there, desperately sending some sort of distress signal that was too weak to get through to most of the animatronics. However, the voiceless wetfloor signs began to act strange, making odd sounds and turning to face just about anyone, as a result of this distress signal.

Then, somehow, Freddy found him, and he begged the human staff to help fix him. While they didn't have the right parts to fix him completely, they were able to fix him enough to where he was functional again. Bonnie had absolute no memory of how he came to be in such a state due to data corruption, but he does remember some things, which will easily agitate him and make him aggressive.

Due to his state, Bonnie is unable to interact with guests and do shows, which he misses, so he tends to loiter around behind the scenes where nobody can see him during the day.

In this AU, Gregory waited for the doors to open at 6 in Freddy's room after seeing Vanny and Moondrop, because he was absolutely terrified, however I am willing to negotiate this upon request. (Well, I'm just about willing to negotiate anything lore-wise.)

Bonnie Bunny

First off, Bonnie is non-binary, and his pronouns are he/him. He honestly loves playing around with makeup and facepaint, and of course, playing music. Glamrock Bonnie was one to prioritize self expression to the kids, be it music, facepainting, drawing, makeup, or what have you, and he, obviously, absolutely loves bowling, and is unbeatable at it. Bonnie also has a sense of adventure, and loves doing something new.

However, he remembers bits and pieces of what happened to him, corrupted memories come and go, they make his head hurt, and he doesn't act like himself, and he can become aggressive if not de-escalated. He was also operating somewhat while he was hidden away, and remembers being "asleep," but active, and being so alone. So afraid. So angry. So sad. It's an awful, all-consuming feeling that he couldn't get rid of. He just knew he'd spend the rest of eternity rotting there, helpless. Unable to even speak out and beg for help.

Freddy is his best friend in the whole world. In his programmed backstory, Bonnie was bullied a lot until Freddy started hanging out with him. In turn, Freddy soon started being made fun of in his adolescent years, and Bonnie chased them off as well. According to their backstory, it was them against the world, and they've been an unstoppable duo from the beginning, forming a band and singing duets together. Bonnie could never imagine life without Freddy, and he doesn't want to.

One day, according to his programmed backstory, Freddy and Bonnie were performing, when a pizza-loving chicken had asked if she could take up the mic. They let her, and were absolutely blown away, and added Glamrock Chica to their band. Bonnie deeply cares about Chica, as all friends do, and while he doesn't judge her for her love of junkfood and exercise... he does judge her for eating it out of the garbage. He's pretty sure it's a programming glitch that can't be fixed, but he's gotten damaged prior to the incident trying to stop her in the past. Bonnie means no offense, and doesn't love Chica any less, but he can't stand to watch her eat trash. He and the girls would often do each other's hair, "nails" and make-up just for fun for special events, like Halloween, Christmas, and Saint Patrick's Day, to name a few.

Roxy and Bonnie are chaotic together, but they have some good laughs. Roxy was added as an animatronic in the Pizzaplex at a later time, so he has no programmed backstory pertaining to her, but he still accepts her as one of the band members, and is sometimes even compelled to impress her. He does, sometimes, get afraid of her when she's angry, but he knows that if she ever DID hurt him, it would only be an accident. He's seen the loving and caring side of her, and he loves her for it.

Bonnie has nothing but respect for Monty. He's a cool guy, and he was certain that he'd appeal to teenagers better than he would. He welcomed Monty into the group with open arms, accepting him almost as quickly as Freddy did. And yet... Bonnie gets so afraid of him when he's angry. He'll let him win if it means he won't be angry.... but he would never hurt him... right?

Mun

Honestly, I'm not too sure what I can say about myself. I'm 25+ years old, I work at a daycare, I'm bisexual, she/her pronouns. I am an extremely anxious individual who's terrified of stepping over boundaries or hurting feelings. Since this is a side blog, I can't like starters, so I'll send them to you via dms instead, and if you have anons turned off, I can't send asks either. I'm sory of trying to hide from that person who forced me to rp an incestual ship that made me really uncomfortable, so I'm not using my usual alias. Rest assured that I am following you if I'm sending asks or dming you, I'm always interested. If I'm following you but haven't reached out yet, its probably because I don't have any ideas for interactions. Call me Twoie, if you have to call me anything.