#and there are some white foxes around too but they aren't 'mine' and they keep killing my chickens so I don't like them

[sigery]

Finally made a path to bring my 7 llamas home... had all 7 at my 'checkpoint' (spawn area), lost at least 1 since I found it still packed when I went back to spawn for Chester. And I murdered a traveling trader because my llamas kept trying to follow his train even when I had them on a lead.

Anyway I have 9 llamas now; White, Orange, Purple, Pink, Light Blue, Magenta, Yellow, Lime, and Brown. White is the mvp with 15 slots and brown is the baby with 3 slots... not sure what I'm going to do with all of them but they have a big-ish pen to chill in for now

[thetantiger]

The Tishamaat

Word count: 12,844

So this took me a WHILE to write. It's a fucking huge one but I PROMISE you I put so much goddamn effort into it and I'm really excited for it to be done. I really tried to pay attention to underlying meaning here, and there's even some cameos from characters that aren't mine since I got permission from my friends and husband to use theirs. So BUCKLE IN. This is mainly about my character Blue who really needed to sort out some things. And maybe some canon entities as well.

TW for talks of CSA and sexual trauma.

“It’s been years since I have properly revisited the Exodar,” Blue stated wistfully as she looked around her at the scenery of Azuremyst Isle. A soft green, almost teal woodland stretched out before her, the giant, mighty violet crystals of the Exodar’s crash spiking from in-between tall pine trees. The sky was a faint grayish pink and white, and swaths of Draenei and their variants--Lightforged, Broken, and, much to Blue’s worry, Man’ari--as well as whatever company they may have brought with them paced along the pathway leading towards the city. Blue felt anxious at the number of people, but her own companions’ presence comforted her, at least a little.

“How come?” Felshredder asked her gently, eyeing the scenery as Kucha rubbed against her leg in reassurance. Despite the Illidari blindfold concealing his fel-green eyes, Blue could tell he felt concern in the furrow of his brows and the lowering of his sharp ears.

“I simply haven’t had the time.. or.. maybe it reminds me of a place.” Blue listened to the otherworldly magics humming through the land, to the quiet yet lively wildlife, and, for a moment, she was back in Shadowmoon Valley. As a little girl, scared and stuck to her mother’s side after what had happened; and then, as a teenager, only half-trained to become a Rangari when she had discovered her mother’s corpse; and then, as a grown woman, fighting tooth and nail against the rampaging fel orcs as they tore through her comrades mercilessly. 

Fel’s hand intertwining with hers broke her troubling thought process. “Well, hey. Me and Kucha and Snarky are here if you need us. And the scenery is different inside of the Exodar, I’m sure. Come on--I’m sure they’ve got great food.”

Blue nodded and strode through the crowd side-by-side with the demon hunter, her leopard and fox trailing behind them loyally. She noticed a few of the other Draenei giving Felshredder odd or scorned looks, as if he were one of the Man’ari, and felt a twinge of discomfort.

“It’s alright,” Fel whispered. He was incredibly capable of picking up on her unease. “It’s nothing I’m not used to.”

“You were a soldier,” she reminded him. “You did what you thought was right.”

“And I wouldn’t take it back,” he replied. “Because now, the Legion is dead. But people will always have their opinions, and I’ve made peace with that.”

Blue could appreciate that about him. Years ago, she would not have been so ready to accept that conclusion. She was terrified of demonic magic, and rightfully so. Felshredder’s fiery green eyes, his curled, sinister horns, and the dark magic that rippled through his Illidari tattoos brandished proudly to the world the power and responsibility he had taken on. If you had asked a younger Blue, she would have denounced this decision, sworn up and down he was crooked, a freak of nature, and no better than the demons he fought--but she understood now. The Kaldorei were plagued by the Legion about as long as her own people were, and she couldn’t blame him for the rage it produced inside him; she felt it, too. His choice to fight fire with fire was definitely a strategy that was.. out there, so to speak, but if given the same offer she couldn’t promise she wouldn’t make the same decision, especially if it could’ve saved her mother.

Furthermore, his restraint and control of such magics actually impressed her. To have the strength to keep his sanity despite society’s scrutiny, despite the chaos inside him.. Blue couldn’t promise that she would be able to do the same. Years ago, the fact that Felshredder was an Illidari disgusted her. Now, it wasn’t just something she had gotten used to. It was now something she directly admired about him.

The horns were a nice touch, anyways.

When they entered the Exodar, bright arcane lights twisting between and amongst nether crystals that powered the crashed ship shone brightly in all directions. Cracks in the carefully carved steel led them down the city’s translucent violent ramp, and, once they’d stepped onto the main floor, Blue took a sharp breath. Draenei from all over--Broken left in Argus, Broken left on Draenor, Lightforged and Vindicators and Artificiers and Rangari and more--had all gathered here to relive this historic holiday.

“Wow,” Blue whispered in awe. “I haven’t seen so many Draenei in one place since.. well- since before we left Draenor.”

“You think I’m an outsider here?” Fel asked, a comical grin on his face.

“No less of an outsider than I am in Bel’ameth!” Blue replied, elbowing him. “Besides, look at that fellow. He brought a Sindorei with him. Can you believe it? A Sindorei!”

“I’m a little glad the faction barriers are withering, honestly,” Fel replied. “Do you think Tayonna’s here? She probably brought Ghallavant.”

“Likely, but if so, we should leave them to themselves.” Blue beckoned him over. “Come. I hear we are supposed to grab a stone.”

“Are you not familiar with this holiday?” Felshredder asked as they both retrieved a stone, one for each of them.

“No. I don’t even remember my mother talking about it,” Blue replied, flicking her tail. “By the time I was born, the Draenei were already in flight mode, trying to survive against the orcs. I never knew a peaceful Draenor.”

“Eight years before the opening of the Dark Portal,” Fel said with a nod. “Yeah. Ain’t that a time to be born.”

Blue nodded slowly, cognisant of the fact they were born the same year. “...Ninety percent,” she sighed.

“Ninety,” Fel repeated, taken aback. “Fuck. Well- I suppose we will learn together.”

The two of them and their animal companions decided to hang around the outskirts of the gathering, finding quietness more suitable for them. They waited patiently for the event to start--apparently, they were to carve their regrets into their stones and wait for someone to retrieve them, to cast them into the flames to represent them moving on into the future. Blue thought over the events in her life as she stared at the stone and grit her teeth. Perhaps a list of things she didn’t regret would be smaller.

She looked around. Felshredder was lost in this task, carving his words carefully. A quick glance told Blue he was writing in Darnassian, though she decided not to intrude and attempt to read it even if she hypothetically could; marrying an elf had its perks. There was something, she thought with a smile. That was something she didn’t regret.

She looked at her feet. Snarky, her fox, was curled around one of her hooves, and her leopard, Kucha, sat a few feet away from them, eyeing the gathering as if on guard duty. She didn’t regret taking animals in, either. That fateful day in Redridge where she scooped up Snarky as a kit from the corpse of his mother, slain by orcs just as her mother had been, had been one of the best decisions of her life.

She looked down at the watch on her wrist. The Shadows of the Faithful. She did not regret being a part of them, or GWaCA before the merge. She struggled with being social, but this group had introduced her to the most important people in her life. Friends--no, family. Pan, Yama, Frost, Lancelot, just to name a few. Not to mention the demon hunter that stood so faithfully next to her, curled over his stone with an almost comedic intensity.

And that was about it. Furthermore, each thing she didn’t regret came with a part of it that she did. She regretted being so dismissive and abrasive towards Felshredder at first, and giving him the impression that she’d hated him. Maybe she did hate him at first, or hated the idea of him, but he broke through that. Yes.. she never hated him. She had, once, hated how easily he had deconstructed her defenses, and yet was careful to never make her feel as though he’d crossed her boundaries. She had, once, hated the idea of being vulnerable, of being proven wrong, of there actually being a light at the end of the tunnel. And she regretted it.

She also regretted how many of her pets had fallen; how many had died in service to her. These outside threats were things she could not control, but that fact did not heal the betrayal, the pain, the fear on each animals’ faces. It did not heal their wounds. It did not bring them back to life.

She regretted pushing her friends away.. coming off as hostile. Her throat clenched painfully at the thought of Raymond. She was twenty whole years younger than Blue, vibrant and full of fire. She knew her death had been her sacrifice, her choice to make. But perhaps.. if she had just had a little bit more time.. if there was something Blue could have done.. She shut her eyes to contain the tears welling in them. Perhaps Lancelot and, by proxy, his children, would not be so broken. Perhaps Raymond could have had a chance to see the little girl Maxwell and Kana had taken in as their own. Perhaps the world would not be so cold in her absence.

“I think I need to step outside,” Blue blurted out before she had a chance to rethink it. Her voice sounded so cracked.

“Oh,” Fel replied, being torn from his objective in an instant and staring at her for a moment. Again, she could see the concern etch onto his face in real time. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I just-..” She paused. She was so used to saying that she was just going out to have a smoke, even after having quit for a few years now. Sometimes she really would just go and have a smoke; sometimes she used it as a cover so she could pull herself together. Perhaps that was another thing on her list of non-regrets: quitting cigarettes. “I think I just need some fresh air real fast. I’ll be right back.”

Felshredder looked to be the opposite of convinced. “I-.. okay,” he murmured, his ears drooping a little, though he didn’t press. “I’ll be here. Take Snark with you.”

Blue nodded and did just that, ordering Kucha to stay put but beckoning Snarky to accompany her. She made her way towards the exit of the city, walking at an urgent pace in order to find herself somewhere secluded, so she could gather her thoughts.

Her mind raced incessantly. What was happening to her? Everything from the past five decades of her life swarmed her subconscious. A sinister, grinning Man’ari, who would not budge off of her no matter how many times she kicked at him; a limp, cold perversion of her once lively mother, dead on the forest floor surrounded in blood and leaves, the whimsy in her glowing eyes surrendered to a dull gray; the scorched, twisted ground of the once beautiful Draenor, and the neverending army of enraged fel orcs that marched across it, armed to their tusks with murder in their eyes.. it was all too much to remember. Too many images haunting her at night no matter how close she nestled into her husband's arms and chest. She wanted it to stop. She wanted it to-

She slipped on something. She heard Snarky yelp in alarm. She saw a flash of metal.

And then she saw nothing.

…

…

…

Where was she?

Sitting up, the first thing she noticed was the throbbing pain in her temples. It fogged the corners of her vision--not that there was much to see, anyway. Just herself in a void of blackness. Light, her head was killing her, and it refused to go away.

…Why was she nowhere? Where was Snarky, or the Exodar, or Felshredder or Kucha or anyone? Where were the buzzing crystals, the arcane lights, the bustle of the reunion of the Draenei?

A sickness flushed into her stomach. Was she.. was she dead?

Could she have died? She looked in every direction and it was only darkness. Her head ached like hell. She felt alone. Trying her best to regain herself from deliriousness, she attempted to recall what had just happened. She told Fel she was going outside.. yes, yes. And then she slipped. She must have hit her head.

Finally, she was able to bring herself to her feet. It was intensely difficult to stand, but she managed. She felt every pump of blood into her skull. She noticed she was breathing, which was probably a good sign. If she was dead and her soul was in a weird, empty purgatory, she wouldn’t be breathing, right?

…Could that blow to her head have killed her? Was it supposed to? Was.. was this it? She felt a pang in her chest. Victor. Of course, the others called him Felshredder--most people called him Felshredder--but it was a title. His name, not the one he was born with nor the one the Illidari called him, but his name was Victor, and she insisted on calling him that, because her doing so appeared to be special to him. Nobody else called him Victor. She held that place, that privilege, and didn’t intend to share it with anybody else. But-- Victor. If she was dead, would he be okay? She couldn’t leave him behind. Not like this.

The Shadows of the Faithful--they needed her. Or, at least, she needed them. The thought of never seeing Lancelot or Edith or any of them ever again struck her like an arrow. Her hands balled into fists, the sting of tears revisiting her eyes once more. Whatever this place was, she would crawl her way out of it. For them. For Victor.

“You seem a little upset.”

Blue whirled around and then immediately regretted it. Her vision blurred once more at the sudden movement of her head. All she could see was a vague white blob. She blinked a few times, desperately trying to get a look at the figure. Eventually, she could make out spikes--no, feathers. Large, magnificent wings and oddly revealing armor. The being seemed female, and bird-like. A Harpy?

“...And you also seem like you do not recognize me.” The Harpy’s sharp beak twisted into a strange grin, and her head jutted to the side, not dissimilar to the look of a curious parrot. “That’s quite alright. You will learn in time.”

“Who are you?” Blue asked, trying to resist collapsing to her knees. The pain was unbearable.

“I am Aviana,” the Harpy claimed, pressing a talon to her proud chest. “Mistress of the Mother Tree, Mother of Harpies. Goddess of Azeroth’s birds and patron of the Druids of the Talon.”

Blue felt her eyes widen. Aviana? Like-- the Aviana? The Wild God, Aviana? What was she doing here? Better yet- what was Blue doing here, in this strange, empty place, in her audience?

“You seem shocked, young one.” Aviana eyed her up and down. A cocky, motherly presence emanated from her, and Blue almost stumbled towards her and collapsed into her feathered arms. She felt just like her mother Azure. “You must be lost.”

“Wh-.. what is this place? Am I dying?” Blue was tempted to look around again, but decided not to test the limits of her pain tolerance further.

“Dying? Dying physically, or dying mentally? Or, perhaps, metaphorically?” Aviana, frustratingly, did not grant her a proper answer. “Who’s to say whether you are dying or not?”

Blue did not have the ego to give commands to a Wild God. “...Why are you here?”

“That one I can answer, mortal.” Aviana smiled again and pointed at her with a claw. “I am here to test you.”

“Test me?” Blue managed to groan. “For what..?”

The Harpy Goddess strutted over to stand next to Blue, and put her winged arm around her shoulder. Blue tensed but allowed it to happen, her tail flicking in annoyance behind her. “You see, dearie. If I am to tell you exactly what we are testing you for, that would make the whole thing just entirely pointless, no?”

Alright, now the Draenei Rangari was allowing herself to feel a little irritated. “‘We?’”

Aviana cackled. It was more of a rapid series of rough caws than anything, really. “You will see in time. You are a clever little mortal. You read into others’ words well. Trained to gather information. Trained to scout. Yes.. I think I’ve taken a liking to you.”

The appeal of a Wild God in her presence was quickly wearing off of Blue. She was beginning to get irritated. Aviana was refusing to give her any answers, and she had a husband to get back to and a terrible pain in her cranium. Her fists clenched at her sides. “How is that relevant? I need to get out of here.”

“So impatient,” the Goddess squawked, shaking her feather-maned head. “So irritable. That is an issue of yours, little Draenei.”

Blue grinded her teeth together, and instinctively reached for her bow and quiver, but found them missing from her person. Her next thought was her knives, but they were also gone, so she simply raised her fists at the Harpy. “I’ll show you how big of an issue it is if you don’t explain this shit to me right now!”

Aviana’s amused expression did not falter, but she flourished her strong wings and made distance between her and the Draenei. “Aha, there it is! That rage. We will speak soon.” She vanished into the shadows, only leaving Blue more infuriated.

And then, rumbling..

Blue turned around to see a stampede of rampaging fel Orcs charging at her. In an instant, she felt her bow materialize in her hands and her quiver appear on her back and knew the objective by heart. Sneering, she loaded her bow and shot three times in rapid succession, enjoying the satisfying noise of her arrowheads puncturing the Orcs’ faces. Two more got close to her and she reached for a shiv, pleased once her hand had found it to be holstered on her belt and stabbed it into each of her opponents’ necks. 

The next few minutes were a relentless tussle. She leapt from foe to foe like water past slick rocks, mowing them down one by one and carving a path through their wretched army, whether by arrow, by knife or by snapping their necks in one quick motion of her hands. She was a trained Rangari. This is what she was made for, trained for. To survive. To kill to survive.

She leapt onto another Orc. Judging by his heavier and spikier armor, he had to be the commander of this horde. His enraged, blood-red eyes filled with a delightful fear as she reared her fist back and connected it to his brow, earning a lovely crack sound. Rage filled her. Aviana’s sly double-speak, the throbbing in her skull, the ache of cradling her mother’s cold body in her arms.. It was all for this. She pounded her fists into his face repeatedly, leaving the orc bruised and swollen and unrecognizable beneath her. At one point one of his tusks snapped off and her knuckles ached for mercy. She reeled her fist back again.

In an instant, as her hand flew through the air, the figure beneath her morphed into something skinnier. Something leaner, more agile, more cunning, rather than a hulking berserker. But it still felt demonic. It was still fel.

Alarm flashed through her.

Fel?!

Her fist stopped inches from his face. She panted heavily, staring down at the Kaldorei as shame flooded her. He stared back. His blindfold was missing, exposing Blue to the utter, unmistakable fear on his face.

She felt sick.

“How volatile, rage is.” Aviana’s voice crowed from behind her. The roar of the Orcs swarming around her was gone. Nobody on the battlefield except for Blue, and Aviana, and a horrified Felshredder beneath her.

Blue’s heart began to race. Was this real? Had she almost hit him? She swallowed hard. “You’re toying with me,” she spat, keeping her eyes on Felshredder as if he were going to morph back into an orcish commander any moment, but the words were meant for Aviana.

“Perhaps,” Aviana replied, and, to Blue’s relief, the Illidari on the ground vanished and melted into the rest of the scenery’s unending blackness. So it wasn’t real. “But you see the lesson, no?”

“I do not see the lesson in you tormenting me, no,” the Draenei snarled back.

“Am I the one that is tormenting you, young mortal?” Aviana asked, her voice a curious trill. “Or, is it you that is tormenting yourself?”

“Speak plain,” Blue demanded, whirling to face her. Her head reminded her of her injury once again.

Aviana cracked another annoying smile. “Your temper is untempered. Your rage is strong, but it’s off of its leash. You see how you could hurt those you love, if you let your anger blind you, yes?” The Goddess put a talon on Blue’s shoulder, and Blue recoiled stubbornly. “I am a mother, little Draenei. And so many of you mortals discuss a mother’s love. But you do not speak nearly enough of a mother’s rage.”

Blue narrowed her eyes. “I don’t want to be a mother, and I’m not going to be.” Even if Draenei and Kaldorei could hypothetically crossbreed, Felshredder was infertile by virtue of being born a woman and having bottom surgery since then. This was not a problem for Blue, as she had never wanted kids, and, luckily, neither had Felshredder. This was preferable, as a matter of fact.

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Aviana corrected, seeming to get a bit fed-up with the conversation herself. “But what I am saying, mind you, is that to love means to care. And to care.. means to protect.”

“BLUE!”

Blue’s ears perked at a harsh noise. Felshredder’s voice broke through her and the Wild Goddess’s conversation, and he sounded desperate.. in danger. Nothing else mattered in that moment. She spun again, and saw a familiar scene--a Draenei, in Rangari armor, with ram horns and a scowled face reeling her fist back and aiming for the Illidari’s face.

No! Blue screamed internally, her first instinct being to leap at the mirror of herself. I won’t let you!

She fought hard. She wrestled her copy to the ground, off of Felshredder, and anger coursed through her veins like fire once more. A frowned-upon strategy of the Rangari came to mind, and they usually did not use it unless absolutely necessary, out of fear of being no better than their fel Orc killers. But the fire bled into her jaw and pried it open, and Blue sank her fangs into her copy’s open throat and yanked.

A gurgling noise followed, and then her copy vanished. A quick look around told her the image of Felshredder had disappeared again, too, the only things remaining from the event being hot, fresh blood on her mouth, the weight of her weapons on her person, and Aviana’s judgemental stare.

Correction. The corner of Aviana’s beak quirked into a smirk of approval. “Harness your rage, young one. It can protect those you love. Whether from outside forces.. or yourself.”

And, to her disappointment, the Mother of Harpies faded away as well.

And she was alone again.

Blue tried to manage her breathing. She saw a faint glow in the distance, and wondered distantly if it was the Light itself. It shaped itself into more feathers, but the creature was just that, a creature, smaller and not humanoid like Aviana. Its mighty mane and fearsome claws came into view, and a swishing, feline tail..

“Soulfeather!” Blue called out to her spectral gryphon. Joy flooded through her. Finally, some proper company. The beast rushed towards her and nuzzled its feathery forehead into her palm, earning a fond smile from the Draenei. “Thank the Light you are here, girl. I could use your help right now.”

“What you could use is to lighten up a little,” a voice called. This one was male, and nearly buttery. She would have mistaken it for Fel’s if it wasn’t so flamboyant.

Blue looked around wildly, and, to her relief, Soulfeather stayed by her side. “Who is that?” She called out into the darkness. “Who are you?”

“Names, names, names,” the voice replied, sounding a little exasperated at the concept. “You mortals are so so entrenched with the idea of names.” Then, he took on a mocking tone. “Oh, I am Blue, because my mother calls me Blue. And then, oh, I am actually Blue Nightwind, because of some absolutely bollocks convention that details that I should have a last name all of a sudden, because I married somebody else with a last name.”

Blue rolled her eyes.

“Oh, I am Victor,” the voice continued on. “Victor Nightwind. But my pals call me Felshredder, because, you see, I shred fel. And I am Nightwind, because my mother was Nightwind. Do you see how complicated that gets?” Another figure emerged from the darkness, this time small and four-legged with crimson fur and large, arcing ears. A.. fox? “I have been called many names. But I believe my favorite of all of those names that have been given to me is.. Renard.”

“Renard?” Blue repeated, feeling puzzled.

“Lord Renard, to be exact.” Renard sat back on his haunches and dragged his tongue along his paw. “Though I am not sure what I am supposedly a Lord of. And, before you ask, I am aware that your Felshredder was given an incorrect name at birth. I do not count that, as it was, as I have said, incorrect. But the fact that you mortals accept names so readily, even though you can be given an incorrect one, only adds to my grievances.”

The Rangari resisted a snicker. “Well, Lord Renard.. Are you a Wild God?”

Renard cracked a toothy grin and curled his bushy red tail around his paws neatly, his huge ears swiveled towards her as he listened intently to her question. The air around the fox felt comparatively lighter than that of Aviana’s. “Yes, though you may not have heard of me. I am known to be elusive, which is to say, considering the meaning of elusive, that I am not very known at all.”

“And are you going to teach me a lesson, too?” Blue chuckled as she spoke. She felt the urge to burst into laughter. This fox spoke strangely.

“Perhaps not a lesson. A lesson implies that you do not already know the information I plan to grace you with.” Renard cocked his head. “Instead, it is more of a reminder, I’d say.”

Blue got to her hooves again, patting Soulfeather’s head as she did so. “And who else is going to test me?”

“Questions, questions,” Renard hissed, shaking his head in an unapproving fashion. “You take life too seriously, little Draenei. Always worried about what’s to come, missing what has already arrived!” The fox got to his paws, his tail flicking excitably. “Here. Follow me.”

Before Blue could insist that, considering her current head injury, she couldn’t travel far, the fox took off in a seemingly random direction and the shrinking of his form showed Blue that distance did actually exist in this space. “Hey!” Blue called after him, breaking into a jog and then a sprint in an attempt to keep up with Renard, despite the pain in her temples. “Wait up!”

The two of them ran and ran, with Soulfeather faithfully following at Blue’s heels, until the undefined dark ground vanished underneath them, giving Blue the feeling that she was falling. She shouted in alarm, the blackness of her world melting into blinding, flourishing green. When she hit the floor it hardly felt as though she had hit anything at all. It was just softness, accompanied by the slight itch of grass. She pushed her body off the ground and looked around, finding herself in a field of beautiful flowers underneath a peaceful spring sky. It didn’t look like anywhere in particular on Azeroth, but she welcomed the color anyhow.

A raucous cackle sounded behind her. “You should have seen the look on your face!” Renard yipped enthusiastically, his paws pressed to the front of his chest as though he was actively trying to breathe through the laughter. 

Blue noticed Soulfeather had followed her into this dimension and silently thanked whatever entity was responsible. “Where are we?” she asked.

“Too many questions!” Renard snapped again, running at her and smacking her--lightly, but quickly--in the face with his paw pad. 

Blue recoiled, more startled than physically hurt. “You little-!” She glared at him, and Renard smiled again and broke into a run into the thick grass and flowers of the field. She decided to pursue him, Renard’s laughter sounding throughout the environment. Eventually, he allowed her to catch him, and she wrestled the fox to the ground, targeting the thick fur of his chest and belly and tickling him, causing the Wild God to squirm. Blue chuckled along with him, and Renard kicked at her with his haunches.

“Alright, alright, you have proven yourself! Stop, stop!” the fox pleaded, and Blue complied, allowing him out from under her. Renard panted and then snickered. “You see? Do you see how fun that was, when you disregarded all your worries?”

Blue smiled and sat back in the grass. “I suppose. It doesn’t--”

“Shh!” Renard suddenly hushed her, emphasizing by clasping his paw over her mouth. “Quiet, quiet! There is someone coming!”

Blue’s ears perked in alarm. Was it an enemy? A friend? Anybody she knew? She heard nothing but the soft rustling of grass and decided to break from Renard, leaning forward to peer through the tall weeds.

It was.. a little Draenei child.

“Ah, there she is,” Renard whispered, standing next to Blue and peering at the little girl as well. “She seems lost. Don’t you agree?”

A pit of dread opened inside of Blue’s stomach. She recognized this girl. Her curled ram horns, her wide, startled eyes as if she were a kicked puppy. That was her. This was her.

Renard tsked and shook his head. “She is fresh with bruises,” he noted. “Cuts and bruises and injuries that should never befall anybody, really, but certainly not an innocent child. She has been through hell. Defiled, violated, and taken advantage of by somebody much older. Somebody who knew much better. Look at her, the poor thing. She is traumatized beyond her years.”

Blue felt her throat tighten with grief once more. Was Renard taunting her? This child version of herself wandered aimlessly through the grass and flowers, trembling in every limb, her arms and tail tucked into herself. She didn’t dare call out for her mother--perhaps the wrong person would find her.

“Go to her,” Renard urged.

“What?” Blue was absolutely puzzled. “What for? What am I supposed to do?”

“This child,” Renard began to answer, gesturing towards the girl with his paw, “has never known what it is to be a child. Born eight years before the opening of the Dark Portal, just as the fel Orcs had begun their rampage. Her father was taken from her before she even got the chance to know him, her innocence was stolen from her before she even got the chance to relish it, and her land was ravaged and torn to shreds before she even got the chance to frolic in it. Your duty is to show her.”

“It will not fix the past,” Blue hissed. “Unless you are a Bronze in disguise.”

“No, no it will not,” Renard replied. “Nothing will. Nothing can fix what she has gone through. What she will go through.” Then, he smiled gently at her. “But it can heal the future.”

Blue stared at him for a moment. Whimsy glinted in his golden eyes despite the nauseating subject. Reluctantly, she stood, and approached the child. “H-Hey,” she stuttered out. She was never too keen on how to really interact with children in the first place.

The little girl flinched and stared at her like a cornered animal. Tears welled in her glowing blue eyes. “Who are you?” she asked, her voice hoarse and quiet. “Where’s my momma?”

Blue frowned. This version of her was from before Azure was slain, but the question landed sorely anyhow. “I don’t know, but I’m here to help you. I’m a Rangari, like your mom.” She gestured to her own armor, and the girl seemed at least slightly convinced. “Are you hurt?”

The moisture in the girl’s eyes overflowed at that question. She nodded pathetically. “A man--he was like me, like the other Draenei, but he had bright red skin--he hurt me.”

The raw pain, confusion and betrayal that seeped through the cracks in the girl’s words almost brought Blue to tears, too. The defined rage Aviana had taught her sparked at the description of the man, but now was not the time. This girl needed her. “Come here, and take my hand.”

The girl recoiled. “The man told me to take his hand, too. He told me we were going to play a game.”

Blue frowned. “I promise we are not going to play that game. As a matter of fact, you do not have to take my hand at all. All we have to do is enjoy the flowers.”

The child still seemed terrified, but tentatively obliged, looking around the field and poking at a yellow one. “...This one’s nice.”

Blue squatted down next to her, observing its golden petals. “That it is. What is your favorite color?”

The girl looked up at her and managed a smile. “My favorite color is blue, because it’s also my name.”

“Well, Blue,” the older Draenei said. “Let’s find you a blue one.”

Together they searched and searched. They waded through the tall grass, finding colorful bugs along the way, and eventually they found a brilliant blue flower. The little girl gasped and plucked it, holding it in her hands as if it were precious to her. “Wow!” she exclaimed. “You’re really good at finding stuff. Do you think I’ll grow up to be a Rangari, like you and my momma?”

Blue pretended to think about it. The meaning of being a Rangari--the need to survive, against so many horrible odds--this child didn’t need to know the specifics of it. No, not yet. Perhaps there was still a joy to preserve. “I think you’ll be the best Rangari Draenor has ever known,” she replied.

The girl squealed in glee. “Yes!! I’ve always wanted to learn to shoot an arr- ow..” In her excitement, she jumped up and down and then quickly learned this was painful for her, suddenly doubling over and holding her leg. “I-.. I’m sorry, ma’am, but I hurt real bad. I think I’m going to go find my momma.”

Blue distantly recalled the detail that Azure had slain the Man’ari that did this to her, and felt a little more at ease. “Alright, then. Listen to me: you tell your mom everything that Man’ari did, okay? I know it’s hard, but it’s really, really important. You’ll find her, I promise. And-..” She paused to consider the double-meaning of her next words to the girl. “...and.. and one day, it’ll.. it’ll stop hurting.”

The girl nodded, muttered a small “okay” and turned, slowly limping away, flower in hand.

Blue stood up straight and watched her go, tears in her eyes. She heard the soft padding of pawsteps and knew Renard to be present.

“Does it really stop hurting?” the fox asked.

“...It hurts less and less as time goes on,” Blue answered. “It took a really long while, but-.. sometimes I don’t even think about it anymore.”

Renard smiled. “That girl still exists, you know. You could really benefit from taking the time to pick the flowers, once in a while.”

When Blue turned to him, the meadow was gone. Blackness engulfed the sunny green, and where Renard just was, there was a different fox. A translucent, blue one.

Snarky beamed up at her, tail thumping against the ground happily.

“Snarky,” Blue breathed, crouching to embrace her pet fox. Soulfeather joined them, and Blue allowed herself to laugh, rejuvenated by the feeling of her companions greeting her. These animals were her greatest joys in life, aside from maybe late nights alongside Felshredder, lying together and giggling about something stupid until the sun rose, often accompanied by pillow fights and playful swats. 

If only Victor were here, she thought wistfully to herself.

“Ah, if only he was,” a stern voice concurred.

How many Wild Gods are going to show up?! Blue wondered, turning around again. Another male voice, but much more stable and booming. The being did not wait to emerge from the shadows like the sly fox. To her amazement, a glowing blue bear stepped forward.

The bear smiled. “You seem to recognize me.”

“Ursol,” Blue replied. “You are one of the most well-known and famed Wild Gods on Azeroth. Why are-..” She paused as her skull pulsed with pain. “Why are you all testing me? What is important about me?”

Ursol huffed and sat on his haunches. “You are a denizen of Azeroth. You were not born here, but you live here, and so in the eyes of the Wild Gods you are Azerothian. You are acutely attuned with nature. You do not need to be some destined hero of prophecy for the Guardians of the wilds to notice you.”

Blue nodded slowly, deciding to accept that explanation. “Are you here to teach me something, too?”

To her relief, Ursol was much more direct than Aviana or Renard. “Yes.”

Blue waited out of respect, assuming he was going to say more, but once it was apparent he wasn’t she bowed her head towards him. “Alright. Let’s get this over with.”

Ursol scoffed at her, flicking an ear. The mighty beast did not move from his spot. “You were speaking of Felshredder. Your mate, yes?”

Blue shrugged. “Our cultures don’t really call it that, but yes.”

“Tell me of him.”

Blue blinked a few times. “W-Why?”

Ursol smiled. “I am gauging something. I know that you know that us Wild Gods already have extensive knowledge of your life and your struggles--the fox made that clear. But I am gauging something, so please, tell me about your mate.”

The Draenei nodded again. “Well.. Victor is-.. He is a Kaldorei, who took on the power of the fel in order to stop the Burning Legion.”

“A follower of Illidan Stormrage, then?”

“Yes. He swore himself to the cause, believing it the only way to protect night elven society, and by proxy his mother. He returned home after the defeat of the Legion, and then.. Teldrassil burned.” Blue frowned to herself. “He still has burn marks on his skin. He lost his mother that day.”

Ursol shook his head and tsked. “A demon hunter or not, he will always be Kaldorei. The War of Thorns affected us all.”

“I met him soon after this had happened to him. He.. He enjoys writing. He’s been working on an autobiography for a while now. And he can shred a violin.”

Ursol tilted his head in what appeared to be amusement. “Go on.”

“He’s a menace on the battlefield,” Blue continued. “He really paid attention in training, I suppose. Quick and agile, and good with glaives. But off the battlefield he is a wonderful friend to everybody.” Suddenly, she felt a little sheepish, unsure of how she was going to continue. She looked up at Ursol, who stared at her patiently, and decided to keep talking, even if her praises were a little embarrassing. “He is charming, and kind, and patient. I didn’t admit it for the longest time, but I fell ridiculously hard. He is deeply intelligent and very witty. His tongue is sharper than his blades. I-.. I have never felt as in-tune with any other person I have ever known as I do with Victor.”

Ursol rumbled a low chuckle. “Inseparable, are you?”

“We go almost everywhere together,” Blue concurred. “And, for the most part, spend all hours of the day together. You think we’d get bored of each other, but we just don’t. I feel as though we bounce off each other well.”

“Mm.” The massive bear inspected his paw. “I once had someone whom I was inseparable with. Not a mate, no--but a brother. You know him; Ursoc. We were never meant to be parted, but the corruption of the Emerald Nightmare changed that.” He sighed heavily. “Even in the most dire of situations, we never left the other behind. His absence is.. painful.”

Blue glanced around. “I feel for you, but-.. why are you telling me this?”

Ursol sort of shrugged. “I was going to test you as to whether or not you would leave your beloved mate to die, if the itch for survival called for it, but.. you’ve proven in the years prior that you do not operate that way. You wouldn’t even consider such, regardless of whether or not it cost your life. You value loyalty, and that is why you gravitate towards your animal companions so much. That is something you find in your mate, and you cherish it. The only thing I can tell you, that you may not already know, is to relish these moments. You never know what could happen. You could lose your beloved, in the blink of an eye.”

Blue hated the thought of anything happening to him. She dipped her head in acceptance. “I-.. I see.”

“You two are bound together, partly by the technicalities of your mortal marriage but, more importantly, by the nature of your very souls. He is your partner in this life, and the next over. He is a part of you, as you are a part of him. You mustn't fear that, and you mustn’t take it for granted.” The massive bear stood, a smaller bear emerging from behind him and making its way towards Blue. “And give him my regards. Illidari or not, he fought the Burning Legion, as I did. Not everyone can say they’ve cleaved through so many demons. And that bear--his name is Arcturis.” With that, the mighty Ursol simply turned and walked away into the darkness.

Blue stared after him. That was oddly.. easy. She looked towards the spiritual blue bear that had approached her. This was not already one of her pets, but part of her considered it a gift from the bear god that had just left. The beast’s energies seemed to be two merged into one, twisting together, and she smiled to herself. You’re a strange bear,” Blue said to him. “But I think we will become fast friends.”

Arcturis sniffed into her palm enthusiastically.

Believing that to be a good enough reply, Blue looked around in the void-like space. Her splitting headache refused to relent. She assumed there to be more Wild Gods here to test her, and she supposed she should try and get it over with.

“Ah, a child of Draenor.” Blue’s assumption was immediately validated. It was another male voice, mighty like Ursol’s but strangely different. There was a gruffness to it rather than a sense of nobility like the bear. A twinge of a growl. “You are not like the other children of Draenor I typically accompany. No, they are your enemies.”

Other children of Draenor? Blue could only conclude he was speaking of the Orcs. “There is a truce between the forces of the Alliance and the Horde,” she corrected out into the darkness. She paused, and thought of the Faithful’s Horde sister organization, the Warblade Clan. Their group was led by a council of two Orcs and a Forsaken, and spearheaded by a third Orc: Chieftain Zuroshi. She didn’t really know much about the other ones, Argosh and Shorok, but she did know of Hanethrick, as he visited the SotF base often--mostly as a result of his relationship with Scar, a Worgen warlock of the Faithful and Graysmite’s brother. Hanethrick seemed nice, and while incredibly suspicious at first due to his maniacal nature, his major disregard for most morals and his alarming interest in corrosive chemicals, he had stuck his neck out for the Faithful when Shadryssa was a threat. Besides.. if Zuroshi trusted him, Blue could trust him.

Now Zuroshi was a.. unique case, especially for Blue in particular. He was an older Orc, and had drank enough of the blood of Mannoroth to rampage mercilessly though mindlessly through Draenei numbers. He’d admitted to unspeakable things while under the influence of the fel and Gul’dan, and was the perfect embodiment of somebody Blue would, under any other circumstances, consider a threat.

But that was just that. He’d admitted to all of it. He showed up to the base of the Shadows of the Faithful and said, to Blue’s face, that he did indeed participate in the genocide of her people. And that he was sorry. And that it wasn’t right.

Granted, Zuroshi’s words could never bring back the endless Draenei souls paved into the Path of Glory. His apologies could not revive her parents, could not reverse the war she witnessed at such a young age, could not restore ninety percent of the Draenei race… but it did make her feel a little better. Besides, Blue could not promise, if she were in his situation, that she’d have the courage to admit all of those things to somebody like her.

Blue swallowed harshly and continued her earlier thoughts. “The Orcs are my enemies no longer,” she protested. Maybe she was lying to herself, but she desperately wanted to hold out hope for the members of the Horde like Zuroshi. She got off on the satisfaction of vengeance, sure, but not nearly enough of the Orcs that occupied the Horde today justified her want for bloodshed. They were not the same Orcs that killed her mother. Sure, Blue and the rest of the Draenei could swarm Orgrimmar right now and take out as many Orcs as possible, but all that would do is leave Orcish orphans behind, and was that so different from what Blue had gone through?

The voice laughed, catching Blue’s attention from her thoughts once more. “Fair enough,” it replied. “Touching, but that’s not what I am here to test you for.” To her surprise, a mighty, dog-like paw emerged from the shadows. A thick silver mane flourished out from the darkness, and a long, strong muzzle with gigantic teeth formed into a welcoming yet eerie grin.

“Goldrinn,” Blue mumbled.

“Or Lo’Gosh,” Goldrinn added. “Whichever you prefer.”

The Draenei stared at the Great Wolf’s mighty form. He did not sit like Renard or Ursol but kept his stance, his chest puffed and his tail stable. He was regal, like Aviana. “Your presence is an honor, Goldrinn.”

Goldrinn laughed again, brandishing his ferocious teeth. “You’ve lost your irritability.”

“Perhaps I should find a way to apologize to Aviana.” Blue glanced around self-consciously.

“It is nothing she hasn’t seen before,” the wolf replied. “You would be bold to assume a mortal snapping at her has any real effect. But, that’s not important to me.”

“What are you here for, then?” Blue asked.

“I know you said the Orcs are no longer your enemies,” he began. “But, humor me, little Draenei. It is the easiest image for me to conjure off the top of my head, and it is the easiest image for you to become enraged at.” Before Blue could ask what he meant, the horde of fel Orcs returned in the same fashion they had first appeared. Stampeding, thundering, roaring. The glint of violence in Goldrinn’s golden gaze told Blue everything she needed to know. 

But then, she reached for her weapon, and found it missing.

“Wait- what?” Blue looked at Goldrinn in alarm. He did not answer her, and the Orcs swarmed her.

She vocalized in pain as a fel iron boot pressed into her body enough to break something. She fought to get to her feet, the pain in her skull reminding her of her uncomfortably vulnerable state. She tried to fight with her fists but it was no use. Another Orc simply hit her with the flat side of his axe, sending her to the floor again. He raised it high above his head, glaring down at Blue with murderous intent..

…and then his head was separated from his shoulders.

A familiar, lean and pale figure stood before her as the rest of the Orc’s body fell to the ground. She had white and blue Sentinel armor, but her Lichfire eyes spoke of her allegiance to the Ebon Blade. She had ice-white hair and a cold yet familiar aura. She extended her slender hand to Blue, to help her off the ground.

“It seems like you need a hand, friend,” Frost said with a smile.

“Frost!” Blue had never been so happy to see her. She readily took her hand and lifted herself up, relieved at her friend’s presence. “Is- is it you? Or is this a vision?”

Frost seemed utterly puzzled. “A vision? What are you talking about? Come on--we have to get you out of here!”

We? A quick glance around answered Blue’s confusion. The crackle of felfire and the whirl of glaives alerted her to Felshredder’s presence. She saw a blast of arcane turn an Orc to dust and noted Alfred to be the spell’s origin. Pan’s strong leg kicked an Orc to the side like he was paper, and bent him like a sheet of it, too. Yama, in her Dracthyrish visage, eroded an Orc with a breath of sand. 

Edith’s strong wings buffeted the field around her. Her father, Lancelot, sliced through foes with his knightly sword, unmovable and unbreakable on the battlefield. A swarm of unholy flies and the swing of an axe came from Maxwell, who currently had his blade sunk into an Orc’s chest. More and more of the Shadows of the Faithful and their allies came into view. Rachel in his bear form tore through about three of them with one swipe of his huge paw. Phoebelynn emptied the magazine of her handgun into a couple more. Graysmite’s holy fire incinerated another. Imps commanded by none other than Shadow leapt upon an Orc soldier and tugged him down into a squirming pile of claws and teeth. Kana’s metal fangs sunk into a fel-red neck. She thought she saw a glimpse of Razael, dashing between enemies with a demonic quickness, fury on the snarl of his muzzle and blood on the ends of his blades.

“I said c’mon!” Frost urged her. Blue felt the night elf tug at her hand and obliged, keeping pace with her as they attempted to escape the battlefield.

“What of the others?” Blue asked. “Can they defeat this many?”

“What of you?” Frost retorted, keeping her eyes forward. “You’re the one here without any weapons, and you’re injured! We came here to get you!”

The Draenei immediately felt shame wash over her. “For me? You didn’t hav-”

“And leave you to die?!” Frost did not even let her finish her statement. “As if!”

“I’m dead weight,” Blue argued.

“Nobody cares about that!” The chill around Frost spiked, giving Blue the impression she was actually beginning to get angry. “We care about saving your life!”

Finally, they broke through the crowd of Orcs. Frost practically threw her to the ground, and what formed beneath Blue as she fell was soft and plush. In an instant, she was alone, in what appeared to be a room not dissimilar to where Gray had put Kana after her attempt. She sat up from the makeshift bed, her head throbbing still. Slowly, she put her hooves to the ground and stumbled out, blinking against the sunlight.

What appeared before her was the courtyard to Whitegrove Chapel, one of the bases of the Shadows of the Faithful, though less-used after Wish’s attack had destroyed most of it. There, many of the group’s members were gathered, chatting amongst themselves and idly participating in their hobbies. It was peaceful today. How long had she been out for?

The first person to notice her was Felshredder, of course. “Oh, hey! Blue’s awake!”

“Are you supposed to be out of bed?” Kana asked her, slinking up to stand next to her. “Gray’s pretty strict about those things.”

Blue chuckled. Everything except her skull felt completely fine. “I’m okay,” she reassured her. 

Kana shrugged and casually leaned back against the chapel’s wall. “Alright then,” she replied. “It’s your funeral.”

“Madame!” A comically accented voice called to her, and she turned to blink at Jacques. “I made sure to assist Fel-shred-derrr in taking proper care of your animals.” He beamed at her and bowed dramatically. “Fear not, they are out back, by the stables.”

“Thanks, Jacques,” Blue said with a chuckle. She felt a slight tap on her leg and looked down, making eye contact with Timillus.

“Your watch got really messed up out there, so I fixed it, and added a few of my own augmentations on it, too.” Tim handed her her aforementioned watch as it whirred with energy, his goggles pulled up to his forehead. He grinned at her. “Thank me later.”

“Oh- of course, thank you,” Blue muttered, fastening the device to her wrist again. Tim shrugged casually and trotted off in the direction of Danarus. Blue only took one more step until she felt another tap, this time on her shoulder from a brown leather glove. She craned her head, blinking at Courier Nine.

“What the hell happened to your head?” He asked, a characteristic scowl in his voice. “I thought we were gonna have to bury you out back like an old dog and mark your grave with a shitty rock.”

The Draenei resisted a snicker. “I’m not really sure,” she replied.

Nine grunted. “Well, regardless, for fuck’s sake please spend some time with your husband, now that you’re conscious.” He gestured to where Fel was standing with his head, and then spoke a little lower. “He would not shut the fuck up about you while you were getting bandaged up. It was like.. It was like visiting your grandma, but she has the most obnoxious pet bird in the world and you just really wanna strangle the damned thing.”

“I’ll make sure of it,” Blue chuckled. That seemed to be enough interaction for Nine, because he just made a nonchalant ‘hmph’ and then vanished with a completely unnecessary smoke bomb. Blue sighed and continued on, appreciating the small check-ins as she passed by her friends. Inexplicably, something lured her to the outskirts of the chapel’s courtyard. She sat alone and admired the fresh air, carrying the scent of grass.

A large, furred beast sat next to her. “Do you see now, little Draenei? The survival--no, the comradery--in numbers.”

Blue nodded at Goldrinn. “I-.. I see. These people.. the Faithful-.. they are my family.”

“Your pack,” Goldrinn replied. “There is no bond like that of a pack. They are your team. You can rely on them. You must rely on them.”

“I understand, Goldrinn.” Blue smiled and poked at the watch, suspecting that Tim’s changes weren’t going to be permanent, unfortunately. “Is this all a dream?”

“A dream, no. A vision, yes. But does that make it any less real?” Goldrinn’s tail wagged in amusement. “Is it that far off?”

“I suppose not,” Blue sighed. “I just- don’t want people to worry about me.”

“A true pack will help their members lick their wounds.” Goldrinn got to his paws and turned, beginning to walk away. As he did, the blackness of the previous dimension trailed behind him, melting into the scenery of the Chapel and muffling the chatter of the Faithful. “Trust in your pack. Sometimes, they will be all that you have.”

Goldrinn disappeared, as did Whitegrove Chapel. Blue ached at the sudden silence, though Soulfeather, Snarky and Arcturis were at her side once more, granting her slight comfort. Where Goldrinn had padded off into the darkness, a familiar, soot-gray flash of fur appeared, Vrykul runes on his shoulders and haunches glowing a proud yellow.

“Fen!” Blue called Fenryr over and the wolf obliged, practically barreling into her. She chuckled as Fenryr attempted to lick at her face. “Alright, alright! Down, sit!”

Fenryr, though excited enough to shift his weight from one forepaw to the other repeatedly, obeyed her orders and sat, his tail swishing across the ground from side to side.

The Draenei raised her head, grateful to have three of her previous animals plus Arcturis at her side. What would be her next trial? How many more were there? “Okay,” she spoke into the distance. “What Wild God is testing me this time?”

“A Wild God?” a hoarse voice replied. It cackled, and to anybody else it may sound eerie, but to Blue it was shockingly familiar. That voice, that laugh, was so ingrained into her mind she pinpointed who was speaking instantly, though the logistics of such were what confused her. “You think too highly of me, old friend.” Crimson feline paws stepped out from the darkness. A rich black mane, Nightmarish red eyes and huge saber teeth adorned the cat that appeared. She smirked at her, that same smirk Blue had seen over and over all those years. A cocky, sarcastic, but friendly and warm grin.

“Raymond?” Blue gasped.

“The one and only,” the druid replied, beaming at her. She sat not too far from her and curled her tufted, striped tail around her paws.

“Am I dead?” was Blue’s first question. She knew for a fact that Raymond was dead, very dead, and so if she were speaking to her, Blue must be dead, too. It only made sense. Perhaps that’s how and why she had been speaking to so many Wild Gods.

“I can’t answer a whole lot, but I can tell you that you’re not dead. At least, not yet.” Ray smiled at her. “I can also tell you that I’m here because, well, Ashamane would’ve been the best fit for your next lesson, but Ashamane is dead, super dead, so here I am.”

Aren’t you super dead? Blue shook away her questions. None of that mattered right now. What mattered is that she got to see her friend, to speak to her. “How long will you be here?”

The glint of glee in Raymond’s eyes turned to that of sadness. “You know I can’t linger, friend.”

Blue nodded solemnly, swallowing the sob in her throat. “A-Alright. What is my next lesson?”

“Somethin’ you and I are both pretty familiar with already.” Ray shifted out of her cat form and stood, her tall, proud Worgen shape elegantly decorated in Gilnean cloth. “I know yer head’s killin’ ya,” she said, tipping her hat back a little. “But bear with me, alright? Mind the whiplash.”

“Whipla-” the room spun. Blackness twisted violently into bright white. Beneath her, the coarse gray grass of Gilneas. Above her, an arcane shield, crackling with energy as well as some technological enhancements. In front of her, a massive, blue, yellow and orange-furred cat.. humanoid.. thing, with abyss black eyes and square, green pupils. Her armor and form jutted and twitched with strange magics.

Around her, the world was deteriorating into white nothingness, and fast. It was as if the ground itself was giving way horribly easily. She turned to look behind her, and noticed her to be at the forefront of the Shadows of the Faithful’s offense. The members of the group huddled to their loved ones as the earth faded away around them. They thought this was the end for them.

All except for Raymond, who stood in the center of them all. She gave Blue a knowing smile and tilted her hat down over her eyes. But she was a ways back.. not where she was standing when it all happened. 

No. Blue was standing where Ray was supposed to be.

A dread filled her stomach. Was this.. was this it? Raymond looked at her like she knew what she was supposed to do. Truth is she did. She knew exactly what the next step was, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to take it.

Would you die for them? Raymond’s voice echoed in her head.

Her heart threatened to pound out of her chest. Her breathing quickened. If the Faithful needed this.. if it would save the lives of those around her..

She burst through the shield. She ran and ran and ran, despite the alarmed cries of her allies behind her. She leapt, drawing her bow mid-air and loading an arrow into its string. Wish looked at her, puzzled, for a few seconds, and just as Blue felt the inertia of her jump fade, she let go of the bowstring.

She suddenly felt ready.

Everything flashed to white.

She hit the ground with a thud. The first thing she noticed was that the throbbing in her head was still present. The second thing she noticed was the darkness around her.

She sighed into the floor. Part of her was relieved. Part of her was disappointed.

She felt a nudge at her side. “Get up.”

Blue peered up at Raymond, feeling utterly exhausted. “How-.. how many more are there?”

“After me?” Ray asked with a smile. “Just one. I promise.”

“One,” Blue echoed, breathless. “Did you..” She paused for a long moment. She grieved Raymond greatly, but.. “Did you feel this way, too? …When it was your time?”

Ray’s face changed to one of great sympathy again. “Tired? Worn out? Past my prime? Absolutely.” She crouched down to the Draenei’s level, and put a hand on her shoulder. “But I promise you it’s not your time, friend. You may be tired.. You may be worn.. You may be older. But you are not dying today.”

Blue choked back a cry. “But what if I- what if I feel like I can’t go on? What if.. What if I feel like I’ve done all that I can?”

“You will survive, Blue. You must. You have always been a survivor, and will always be.” Ray shook her a little. “Look at me, old friend. So many of the Faithful would mourn your passing, as they did mine. I am okay with how I went. I am satisfied with the sacrifice I made. But nothing made me question that decision more than seeing the grief on my family’s faces. The events I have missed out on.”

Blue couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. They flowed freely down her face as she spoke, her voice nearly blubbering. She could only think of the things that Ray might not know, that she needed to know. “M-Maxwell has a daughter-..”

“I have seen,” Ray replied, nodding a little. “I have seen her. She’s beautiful.”

Blue collapsed into her friend’s arms fully. Raymond held her there, patting the top of her head and remaining patient. The Worgen was stable. A guiding light for the Faithful, even in dire times. Blue hugged her back and prayed this was really her. Prayed that she knew all the things she’d missed. She sniffled and nodded. “I-.. I will survive.”

“You must,” Raymond urged. “You have a duty. Your family needs you to live; just as they needed me to die.”

The Worgen’s presence melted away into nothingness, right out from in between Blue’s arms.

Blue collapsed to the floor sobbing. The sudden emptiness in the room was only slightly offset by the presence of her pets. Snarky nuzzled into her and Blue made a weak attempt to pet him in return. Renard’s lesson of humor, of joy, of whimsy, felt so dull and pointless right now. How could she go on?

“My friend,” Blue whispered, her voice broken and cracking. “Where have you gone?” Regardless, she tried desperately to recall Raymond’s lesson to her. Duty. She grit her teeth, and wedged one hoof under herself, trying to stand.

She was a survivor. She had always been a survivor, and always will be.

Her willpower was immediately rewarded. Distantly, she heard a low groan, almost as if the origin of the sound was uncertain, and then a chuff. A chuff of greeting. A familiar one.

Kucha emerged from the darkness, running at Blue with excitement guiding his paws. Blue almost collapsed again, partially out of relief and partially out of sheer emotional overstimulation. The leopard headbutted her affectionately and Blue embraced him, half-chuckling, half-crying.

“Kucha,” Blue breathed. “By the Light, I needed you here.”

The leopard purred loudly and pushed further into her embrace, rubbing against her as his black and white tail curled happily. Incredible that the big cat would let her cradle him in her arms like this.

“For a self-proclaimed loner, you seem to have many friends.”

Blue recalled Ray’s words. After me? Just one. She was grief-stricken, and exhausted, and worst of all the pain in her head remained. But she gently sat Kucha down upon the black floor, next to Soulfeather, and Arcturis, and Snarky and Fenryr. Snarky in particular greeted him with fervor; they were best friends, and had known each other for so, so long. And then, Blue straightened herself, peering in the direction of the voice. She forced herself to stabilize her own. “Is this my final test?” she asked. “I am ready. Give me my trial.”

The voice, female again, was deep, serene and soothing. “You are an eager little mortal.. despite the pain inside of you. Fear not, young one. There is always the blossom of spring, even after the harshest of winters.” The great beast came into view, levitating gently above the ground, though her form writhed as if she were swimming in the blackness. Her brilliant jade scales glimmered against the glowing white magic that surrounded her. She was enormous, and her form radiated a kindness, though her teeth and claws displayed she was not passive. Blue was quickly learning all of these Wild Gods had a form of greatness in their own right.

“You’re the Jade Serpent,” Blue mumbled. “Though--forgive me, I don’t really know your actual name. I have journeyed in your lands before, but I’ve only heard you referred to as ‘The Jade Serpent,’ which is admittedly pretty vague.”

“Worry not, child.” The serpent bowed her large head in greeting. Blue could at least appreciate that these Wild Gods weren’t stuck-up or overly righteous. “I am Yu’lon. I can sense a deep sadness in your heart, young one.”

“...I have lost a lot of people,” Blue replied solemnly. “I have lost my mother, and never got to know my father, and many of my pets over the years. And recently, I have lost one of my closest friends. It has not been easy.”

Yu’lon’s glowing white gaze softened at her. “I am so sorry for your losses. There is something you must remember: though you have lost much, what remains around you, amongst the chaos, is still great. You are capable of being fortunate, just as you are capable of being unfortunate.” The grand serpent approached Blue, curling her massive body around her. “You must learn to heal, despite the many tragedies.”

“Heal?” Blue felt exasperated. “H-How?”

Yu’lon nuzzled into Blue’s palm. “Healing is a long process. For some, it does not end. But even along the way, before wounds are fully patched up, it can aid you.” With that, the black void melted away again, this time to a quiet, secluded patch of forest. Blue couldn’t really tell where it was, but the grass was soft and mixed with patches of moss, and the trees were huge and sturdy. Their branches loomed overhead protectively, but Blue could’ve sworn she saw something move in the underbrush.

Her eyes darted in the direction she thought she’d heard the noise. “What is-”

“Mind yourself,” Yu’lon interrupted, nudging her again. Blue felt incredibly uneasy, alone in the woods without her Felshredder or her pets, but tried to follow the serpent’s instructions and sat down. “You must relax in these woods. You cannot move on from your lesson until you do.”

Blue nodded and closed her eyes, listening to the chirps and rustles and croaks of nature.. though, even in the silence, this calming ritual was not working. She gritted her teeth and opened her eyes, finding Yu’lon nowhere to be seen. She quickly scavenged the area to find a sharp, strong stick. Yes, this would do good. If only she could find some sort of binding, and--

“You are not well, child.” Yu’lon appeared and it started Blue. The Draenei spun, twig in-hand and pointed at the Jade Serpent, though she lowered it after she came to her senses. “You go into survival mode when alone.” The Celestial gave no hint of insult. “Perhaps I miscalculated you.”

Before Blue could respond, the Serpent scooped her up in her spiraling body and held her close. Blue considered wriggling away from her snake-like grip. She didn’t want to be here; she needed to get back! But Yu’lon’s scales emitted a strange, soothing essence. She looked around, and decided to rest her head against the Wild God’s body.

“You must learn you are not always in danger, little one,” Yu’lon continued on. “Your tragedy is over. You are safe with the life you have carved for yourself.”

Blue frowned. “But something else could happen. Something else could go wrong.”

“Yes, of course. Something else can always go wrong, but it is just as likely as something else going right.” Yu’lon patted her with a talon. “In fact, in the path of Good you have chosen, in the path of self-improvement and in the life of comfort and love and support you have built, things are more likely to go right than they are to go wrong. You must understand you do not need to survive anymore. You can simply live.”

With that, Yu’lon uncurled from Blue, and the realm turned to black once more. Thankfully, her pets were at her side, awaiting Blue’s return.

“Your friend has told you that your time is not now. Do with that information what you will,” Yu’lon said. “There is always sun after a storm. That is what you kick and claw and bite for, little one. That is what you must always hope for, always reach out for, always expect, no matter how dire the circumstances. No matter how thick the thunder.”

Blue nodded. Part of her swore that it was impossible, but.. part of her knew it wasn’t. After all, she had found her pets.. her friends.. Felshredder. Perhaps Yu’lon had a point. Distantly, she noted the pain in her head ebbing away, albeit very slowly.

“Take care, child,” Yu’lon encouraged with a smile as she began to blend into the darkness as well. “You have learned the lessons of Wild Gods, and thus you will begin to heal from this injury as well.” Beneath her, a smaller Serpent appeared, with the same glowing white energy but onyx black in scales. Blue recognized him, too: Reaper, another of her pets. Reaper flew to her eagerly and brushed up against her with deep affection. “Do not forget. There are bandages for wounds. We do not simply die when we are hurt. We get back up again, and heal our cuts.”

Blue’s time with Reaper was drawing short. She felt her vision start to return to her. The blackness was dissipating. She heard distant voices, mutterings, and whiskers brushing her palm. She smiled and patted her pet serpent’s head. She would have the time when she got home.

…

…

“Blue? Nus! She’s awake!”

Blue let out a soft groan as she opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was Felshredder, knelt over her with a look of concern behind his Illidari blindfold, his hand intertwined with hers. Though, as he spoke, he remained calm.

“Hey, darling. You alright? You hit your head pretty bad,” he said with a slight wince.

Blue tried to nod but found that her head felt heavy and still sort of in pain. The next thing she noticed was Kucha’s worry snuffling into her hand. She chuckled and patted his head, earning a chuff from the leopard. “Yes, I-.. I’m not sure what happened. But I’ll be alright.”

“Thank goodness,” Fel breathed, holding her hand a little tighter. “Snarky brought you to me, and we took you to the nearest healer immediately. You had a lot of blood coming from your head.” For a moment, his voice shook. Perhaps Fel had thought she was dying, too.

Blue smiled and moved her other hand to cup his chin. She brought his forehead to hers and closed her eyes, appreciating the moment. “I will be okay,” she promised him.

“I-.. okay.” Fel seemed a little more convinced and pulled away to smile at her. “Here. Nus is coming.”

Nus, apparently, was a lean Draenei woman with diagonal horns and black hair in a sleek, angled bob. She knelt next to Blue as well, a bowl of water and bandages in hand. “Here, friend. You had hit your head pretty hard on the banister of the Exodar’s ramp. I suspect a skull fracture, though the fact you are conscious and not completely delirious is very good news. I believe you are correct--with some rest and some Light, you will be just fine. Here. Sit up.”

Blue obliged and wedged her elbows under herself, pushing her back off the cot she had been placed on and slowly but surely sitting upright. Nus allowed her to drink from the bowl first, and Blue did so eagerly, grateful to soothe the dryness in her throat. “How long.. have I been here?”

“A few hours,” Nus replied, taking the empty bowl back once Blue was done with it. “The Tishamaat is unfortunately over, but I’m sure that is not as important as you healing from your injury. You and your husband may have to stay here tonight, but I have room for the both of you. It will come at no cost.”

“Thank you,” Blue said with a smile. “Thank you so much.”

Nus shrugged at her. “It is in my nature to be hospitable. Now, here. Bow your head--just a little--and let me replace your bandages.”

Blue obliged once more, tilting her head only slightly--any more caused her to ache again--and allowed Nus to remove the bandages around her skull. Felshredder eyed the process carefully, as if worried Nus was going to hurt her, but made no move as Nus tossed the bloody wrappings and replaced them with clean ones. Blue was, frankly, surprised at the amount of scarlet staining the old bandages. She supposed Nus and Fel were right--she had hit her head that bad.

“You might want to get back to sleep,” Nus urged. “As much rest as your body can get will help you. And you as well, Illidari.” The healer pointed at Fel. “I don’t believe I’ve seen you take your eyes off of this woman yet.”

“And I intend to keep it that way,” Felshredder replied. “But yes, Blue. You should get some rest.”

Nus glanced at Blue and then stood, deciding her work here was done for now. As the healer walked away, Blue swiveled on the cot, dangling her legs over the side of it as if she intended to stand.

Fel’s ears perked in alarm. “Don’t stand,” he said quickly, putting his hands on her and trying to keep her still. “You shouldn’t stand up. Please don’t stand.”

Blue looked at him, resisting a groan of effort. “This cot is not big enough for two of us,” she argued. “And we are staying the night.”

The demon hunter stared at her for a moment, before looking around with a sigh. “I-.. alright, here.” He scrounged up a pile of blankets and pillows in a flash, and then carefully reached for Blue, insistent on the idea she shouldn’t stand upright. He picked her up gently off the cot and held her to his chest, very slowly lowering the both of them onto the pile on the floor. Blue sighed, miles more comfortable in Fel’s arms. “Don’t worry,” he muttered. “I won’t move a muscle.”

“That’s alright,” Blue mumbled, wrapping her arms around his waist. “This is much better anyhow.” She thought she might’ve heard Fel reply something, but drowsiness overtook her again. Nus was right--her body needed the energy. She felt two bundles of fur, one larger and at her back, and one smaller and at her hooves, curl around her. She relaxed into Fel’s warmth, resting her bandaged head in the space between his shoulder and chest and smiling.

This was nice. This.. this was okay.

She felt herself drift to sleep.

[noirleo]

Ooh, are we sharing TMNT OCs? Mine is a fluffy Ragamuffin cat mutant with white fur, pink curly hair and blue eyes. She's a bit tall, plus-sized and is an anxious cinnamon roll. At her best she's a lot like Pinkie Pie from MLP: Friendship is magic, but she also deals a lot with anxiety, depression and some PTSD..

She eventually acquires a mystic item called The Heart of Healing, which heals wounds, cures poison and illnesses, and places a force field around a wounded comrade to protect them while healing in combat.

Over time she learns basic self-defense and takes fencing lessons from Senior Hueso. She has a long way to go as far as being allowed to be in combat, but she's getting at least to the point where the boys and April aren't quite as worried.

She loves drawing, singing, writing, dancing in the kitchen, swimming, watching nature documentaries, reading, cosplay, collecting stuffed animals and anime figurines, taking "cat-naps", video games and cuddling.

She's very physically affectionate and comforting, and loves giving and receiving physical touch and words of affirmation. She gets incredibly flustered when people flirt with her, but she loves exchanging cheesy puns and dad jokes. She sometimes makes art for her friends and likes to cook simple meals for them.

She's much smarter and better educated than she lets on, and will info-dump about her passions if she's not careful. She also really enjoys it when people get excited to talk about projects with her!

She was human before, but engages in some feline behaviors (rubbing her cheeks unintentionally on someone or something to "mark" them, purring, tacking carpet pieces to her wall for her to scratch, being chased by dogs/Gus the demon dog, curling up for naps almost anywhere, and needing to obsessively be clean/brushed/smelling nice).

She does not have a raspy tongue, thank goodness, and she blunts her claws to keep from accidentally hurting herself or others. Otherwise most of her body looks surprisingly human.

She has a younger sister (based on my own sister!) who was mutated into a mystic spider girl and temporarily taken under Big Mama's wing, until a team effort convinced her to leave and find her own place in the city. I ship said spider sis with Cassandra "Casey" Jones.

I'm kind of struggling on who I want to ship her with out of the boys. I'm actually writing a fan fiction with her and to be honest, I love all the boys so much. ❤💙💜💛 Any suggestions would be so appreciated!

I have a strong feeling she and Mikey would at least be besties for resties.

Sorry if this is a lot! I have a bit of art for her too.

Michan, the Ragamuffin cat girl mutant, is the one with the pink hair and blue dress on the right. Her friend Rumiko is the fox girl on the left.

as an older sister the urge to add your siblings into the mix is so real i always add mine in somehow lol

ok i know you said she keeps her claws dulled but, for your consideration

boom. claw caps.

anyways

does she do that thing where cats go up to someone to help them stretch and they raise their arms up in the air? i feel like raph would really get a kick out of that

she sounds like such a cutie, and i love that she’s a healer which is a totally underrated role for characters to play imo

[ravenveenova97]

Well I'm done with the new Cover to my Novle 🌸 Kitsune Bride, I have taken leaps and bounds in improving free hand drawing, so the before and After, also I be adding the opening to the Novle 🌸

Once long ago when i was just a young girl my eyes opened up to the spiritual vell, i became the shrines new maiden at the age of 16 and was given the duties to protect both the Kitsune shrine and the spirits that enter threw it, but one day while attending to the shrine a small fox wandered to the bottom of my feet, pore thing looked so malnourished and scruffy, i took pity on the little fox and fed it every day and till it became strong and full of life, you see my dear what i helped was a week Kitsune pup, at the time i didn't know it was a spirit till it showed its true form in front of me thanking me for everything i did for it and i was rewarded with this beautiful pin. 

“really granmama?” she nods at me wile i was happily sitting in her lap showing me the beautiful hair pin bestowed to her “one day when you become of age this hair pin will full onto you” i reached out to it and ran my fingers along the blushed pink Sakura blossom pin “this be  mine one day” she nods at me and picks me up off her lap so im standing and we walk into the kitchen to pick up the food offerings “it will, but only the day you become a shrine maiden at the ripe old age of 16” i smile brightly at her as she hands me a plate of sweets for the Kitsune spirits and i followed her outside to the shrine “granmama can you see the Kitsune spirits? Will i be able too” she looks down at me and smiles warmly “yes dear i can see them even now running around our shrine even the little one by your feet” i look down to my side and tilt my head “but i don't see it” she chuckled warmly and we soon reached the shrine were we leave  our food offering to the Kitsune spirits “you will in due time my  dear, sadly my daughter was never given the sight, but I'm hoping you will” we bow and give a little prayer at the shrine “granmama what dose a Kitsune look like” she looks at me after praying and sits down at the shrine with me “my dear they are able to take many forms, they could be a stunning lady or a very good looking man, they can also make them self's look like children if they wish but most of the time there seen as white foxes with red markings” i see my Granmama look to her side and hold out her hand to nothing but air. 

“i want to see the Foxes nowwwww” i folded my arms in a huff and pouted and my Granmama warmly smiled at me “you will one day dear, that is my wish” 

A wish that continued threw me growing up till i hit the ripe age of 16 but the shrine maiden ceremony was not a happy one, for that day my beloved granmama passed away and it was a sad day indeed of morning broken hearts and tears fulling like the rain dose on stormy nights. 

It was a lovely spring eave in my family's local shrine and i was doing my duties of the Kitsune shrine maiden leaving my offerings and praying also my other chores on top of that “Cheza can you come and help with the sweeping” i was in the house finishing up the drying “okayyyyy” i put the last plate away and closed the cupboard door making my way out side putting on my outdoor foot were and leaving the house “sorry mum i was just fishing the washing” she looks at me and smiles wile handing me a spear broom “its ok dear here, we got to clean up the petals we have some guests arriving today” i smile and take it off her and look around to the ground scatters with beautiful Sakura blossom petals “guests are they here to pray at the shrine” my mum looks at me as her face grew sad “not exactly dear” i look at her while holding the broom tight in my hand “there hear to buy the shrine off us aren't they” my mum sighs as she starts sweeping again “i know you love this shrine dear but we can't keep up with all the reapers of late” i have a sad face and start to sweep the floor “i can start working, i take two jobs if it help mum.......i don't want to lose this shrine it was Granmama special place growing up and it has been for me too” 

My mum looks at me with a soft smile about to say something but i hear a crash happen behind us and my dad and uncle came running out of the house “not again” i drop the broom and go running over to them both “what happened dad” Dad was shaking he’s head as he looked at one of our Kitsune statues that was now in peace's all over the floor “it's like were cursed, weird phenomenon's just keep happening” i look down at the floor and walk over knelling down holding the Kitsune stone head “there no such thing as curses Shiro, the thing just buckled under its own weight, spirits don't exist” i ended gripping the stone head out of anger to what Uncle Senji said and stood up and yelled at him “YOUR LIEING THERE IS SUTCH THINGS AS SPIRITS AND THIS IS PROBLY WHY THERE PISSED OFF BECAUSE YOU KEEP SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT” he looks at me disappointed i would use such language and he scowls at me “foul language from such a young lady and a shrine maiden at that, there is no such thing as spirits the sooner you relies that the better” i went to lose my temper with him but my mum called out to me “CHEZA”  

I look at her and she had a stern face shaking her head telling me to stop, i grit my teeth and barge right past uncle Senji walking back over to my mum “she to quick tempered Shiro, you need to knock that out of her or she never find a husband” my dad sighed and started to pile up the statue peace's ready to be cleaned up “she has the same fiery passion as her gran.......you should be softer on her Senji” Senji just sighed and helped my dad clean up the mess wile i made it back over to my mum picking up the broom sweeping aggressively “dear using foul language at your age and its unfitting for a shrine maiden” i grip the broom harder wile frowning “i know im sorry but what uncle said about spirits not being real annoyed me” i loosened my grip on the broom and my face grew sad “he's wrong the Kitsune spirits are real granmama said they are” my mums face was soft and she raised her hand up to my cheek raising my head to look her into her eyes “i believe they exist too dear, don't listen to what Senji has to say, ok” she warmly smiled at me and i nod happily at her “good now do you want me to make us some green tea”  

I happily smile at her and nod “yes please” she gently laughs and puts down her broom on the tree next to us and walks off while I'm still sweeping the ground, while a few minutes into sweeping i see a little breeze pick up some petals off the ground but all of a sudden i saw a white smoke outline of what looked like a small fox running along the path and stopped to look at me, i looked back into its eyes and it soon ran off down the steps “was that a Kitsune spirit” my eyes grew bright and i dropped the broom running into the house calling out to my mum “Mum, mum i saw a Kitsune spirit” i was standing in the kitchen door way with a big smile on my face and my mums eyes wide open “you saw a Kitsune” i nodded and ran over to the counter and leaned on it “yer, it was hard to see but there was this white smoke outline of it” i gestured what i saw with my hands out of excitement “it even stopped and looked at me” my mum giggled and came over to the counter with the tea pot and cups “i see guess mum was right about you having the sight”  

She put the serving tray down and pored our green tea “i was going to wait to give you this but i think it's time” i look at her as my hands reach out for the cup and she walked into the back room soon coming out with a small box dusting it off with her hand “I'm sure mum would like you to have this Cheza, i know you was supposed to have this on your ceremony but better late than never” she hands out the small wooden box to me with engravings on the lid “is this granmama’s hair pin?” she nods and i gently take the box from her and open it up and sitting inside was her Sakura hair pin glistening like it did the day she showed me “here let me put it in for you” mum gently picked up the hair pin and did my hair up then threaded the hair pin threw it “there all done” she stepped back and looked at me proudly i stood strait and bowed at my mum “thank you for bestowing the gift mum” she raised her hand up to mouth and giggled at me “now you're a full-fledged shrine maiden just like your granmama” i smiled happily and she remembered something. 

“ow i almost forgot, i picked you up a new shrine maiden kimono, i thought you could wear it when our guests arrive” she hurries off out of the kitchen and upstairs and soon returning with a white box “here i like you to look your best” i took it off her and opened the box to see a pretty light pink kimono with Sakura blossoms embroidered in detail and elegant formations “mum i don't want to sell the shrine.......can we keep it” i look up at her as my eyes start to water, her eyes sadden again and she takes the box out of my hand putting it on the kitchen counter and came in to give me a comforting hug “i like to keep the shrine too dear, but we just can't keep up with the payments I'm sorry” i nestle my face into her shoulder as her hand comes up and rested on the back of my head “now go and get ready our guests be arriving soon” she pulls away and gently moved her finger to my eye that had a tear coming from it wiping it way “ok mum” i pick up the box leaving the kitchen and making my way to my bedroom to get out of my yukata and into my shrine maiden kimono.  

After I was done putting my Kimono on I came back down stairs and helped mum set up the meeting room for our guests that will be arriving soon "remember dear be on your best behavior" I nod at mum as I place the cushions on our chairs, my dad came into the house and poked hes head in to the meeting room "what time are they arriving love" my mum smiles and walks up to my dad dusting him off "they be here soon, so go and put a change of clothes on dear" my dad chuckles and gives my mum a gentle kiss on her forehead "ok, and Cheza no out bursts you understand"

I look at my dad then look away pouting "I try" he sighed and my mum giggled away "what are we going to do with her" My mum held her hands together in front of her and smiled softly at me as I was doing some flower arrangements "she has a strong will just like my mum......but i hope this gose well and Cheza behaves" mum gave a heavy worried sigh and my dad held her from behind "try not to stress out to much love, anyway i better get dressed I be down soon" mum nods and walks off into the kitchen as my dad made he's way back upstairs.

I was almost done with the flowers and Uncle senji walked into the room looking at me still with a frown and then called out to my mum "hay Suki doesn't this big man have a son Cheza age" I shoot my head up and look at my uncle as my mum walked back into the hall way to were he's standing "I believe he dose, how come" My uncle smiles and starts nodding "and is he coming with he's old man" my mum nodded and Sanji clapped he's hands together " perfect, hear that Cheza, why not spend some time with this guy son and get to know him" I'm dumb founded and looked at mum "ow stop, don't force my daughter into anything" my mum crossed her arms scouling at him and Senji shrugs "well she have to find a husband at some point, so why not now"

I go to have a go at my uncle but bite my toung and bow at them both "if you excuse me, I have a shrine to attend to" I walk past them both glearing at my uncle and changed back into my outside shoes and slammed the shutter door behind me "now you gone and done it Senji" mum raises her hand to her head and sighed "i know your family but Cheza is mine and Shiro child, so we have say who she going to marry, not you"

Senji rolled he's eyes and left mum standing in the hallway as he made he's way to talk to my dad.

I'm walking around the shrine biting my nails and grumbling to myself "he has some nerve, who does he think I am, no way I'm going to marry someone I don't even know, guy could be ugly and evil for all I know" I'm a little wound up as he always picks on me, I end up stop walking and pick up a stone and launch it into the Sakura woodlands by our house and breath heavy, but end up sighing and stand up strate and take a deep breath in and exhail "I need to relax, we have guests arriving any moment now and I have to act proper"

I take another deep breath in and smile "ok I should head to the shrine gate and wait with my mum" I turn back round and make my way to the front gate but halfway there my attention was taken elsewhere, while i walked past the offering boxes i was a young man standing there.

I stood frozen taking in every detail I could, he was tall and slim, short white hair with red tips.......and eyes as clear as the blue sea, I continued to stand there until I moved and walked up to him "good afternoon is there anything i can help you with today" he looks at me with a dead stear and looks away and back at the shrine "not realy" im taken back by he's cold tone of voice and I relise this guy a bit on the cold side "well if you need anything let me know" he just nods then ends up leaving an offering then did he's prayer.

I go to walk away and he turns to me and speaks "your this shrines new maiden correct" I stop walking and look round "yes" he still had a cold look in he's eyes and he looked about "not doing a good job are you" what he said triggered me and I spoke in an angry tone "kind of hard when things keep braking out of no were" he looked at me and smirked a tiny bit "I see did it start happening when the old lady passed" i went to comferm it but my mum called out for me "Cheza there on the steps were are you" I turn my head round and call back out to her "coming" I go back to addressing the young man and as I looked back he's gone "wait what......were did he go"

I look around and try and find him but mum called out again in a strict voice "CHEZA!!" I end up sighing and went running to the front gate "OK IM COMING!!" But still who was that guy......and where did he go?

[the-broken-truth]

Yandere Headcanon: Yandere Platonic Brothers - Inuyasha & Sesshōmaru w/ Half-Demon Youngest Sibling

Quick Summary: You are the youngest child of Tōga and a Human Woman, thus the younger sibling to Inuyasha & Sesshōmaru. Unlike Inuyasha, you don't travel in a group; preferring to be alone. Unlike Sesshōmaru, you aren't interested in finding the strongest fighters in the lands. You just traveled with the fang your father left you at birth and kept to yourself. However, that doesn't stop your brothers from meddling in your life for their own reasons.

You knew who your father was from the very start - he left letters along with the sword when you reached a certain age. You had the snow-white hair but yours had black tips from your mother, your eyes were amber just like your father's and brothers', your skin was tan like theirs too and you had the face markings but only one on each cheek, and of course, you had the ears on top of your head - you were a Half-Demon, after all.

When you told your mother that you wanted to travel and see the world, she gave you a [Favorite Color] Robe, the Fang your father left you called the [Fang Name], and some cash along with a horse to get around.

When you traveled, you would do odd jobs in the villages you visited to earn some extra cash - you didn't care what the job was, so long as it paid you well enough to feed your horse and you until reaching the next village.

There were some villages that were harder to deal with than others - like some priests & priestesses wanting to exorcise you for the fact you had demon blood in your veins, regardless of you not being hostile. You didn't act violent towards them and just did jobs for those that were willing to have a Half-Demon's Aid.

[Dealing With Inuyasha]

It was a complete chance that you met one of your elder brothers. You picked up a contract on a demon that was causing trouble for the village and went hunting him down at his hideout. You killed him and when his body split open, you found a small pink jewel shard. You knew what this was, your mother told you stories about this - it was The Shikon no Tama/The Jewel of the 4 Souls/The Sacred Jewel. You didn't know much about the origin of it but you knew that both demons and humans would kill for just a fragment of this thing.

That's when it happened.

Your nose caught the scent of people and you looked down the path to see a group of people coming: A Half-Demon - he looked just like you and he was wearing a red robe; he even had a sword similar to your own, a woman with a strange outfit but you can tell from the spiritual pressure that she was a priestess, a monk, a demon slayer, a small fox demon child, and a two-tailed cat demon.

"Inuyasha." The woman in strange clothes said as she pointed at you, "They have the Jewel Shard."

"Looks like they killed the demon that had the shard first." The Demon Slayer said.

"Did they kill the demon to get the shard for themself?" The Fox Demon Cub asked from his place on the woman's shoulder.

"I don't give a damn how they got it." The Half-Demon said as he pulled the sword from its sheath - the katana-shaped blade grew into a massive blade and the sword around your waist began pulsing as if reaching to the sword's presence. "Hey, hand over the Jewel Shard & I won't have to take it from you." The Dog Demon demanded.

You looked at the shard shining in your hand and placed it in your robe - you weren't gonna keep it, maybe, but you wanted to see where this would go. "I was hired to kill this demon and I happened to find the shard in my kill's body; the way I see it, this Jewel Shard is mine by right of conquest." You said as you turned to face them.

"I don't a damn about that! Hand over the shard or I'll tear you to shreds." He demanded - you could see wind dancing around the blade.

"Try it." You welcomed.

"Your Funeral! WIND SCAR!!!" He roared as he banged the sword on the ground and yellow blades of power charged at you. You pulled your sword out of its sheath and with a swing of your sword - a vortex of wind charged into his attack and they cancel each other out. He was shocked and you placed your sword back in the case.

"You really are as hot-headed as the stories tell, Inuyasha." You explained.

"How the hell do you know my name?!" He barked.

"Long story short, I'm the youngest of Toga's Children & I'm a Half-Demon, like you." You said.

After collecting prove of your bounty, you and Inuyasha's group went back to town where you received your payment but you kept some of the demon horns and fangs for your own purposes. You purchased a small room to rest where Inuyasha began asking you questions and you answered them without fail.

Kagome - the woman in strange clothing - made the comment that you seemed calmer than Inuyasha and not as cold as Sesshōmaru. You explained that's just how you were. Sango - the Demon Slayer - asked if you were going to travel with them from now on, looking for the Jewel Shards & Hunting Naraku, but you said that you weren't interested in things like that. Inuyasha tried to pull the big brother card and said that you had to come with him so he could keep an eye on you but you said that you didn't need a brother then and you didn't need one now.

You also stated: "I have no need for a brother that can't even decide if he wants to give his heart to his present or his past."

You reached into your robe and took out the Jewel Shard and tossed it to Inuyasha before standing up and walking away, he was gonna stop you but Kagome stopped him with a 'Sit' as you mounted your horse and rode away.

[Dealing With Sesshōmaru]

You were traveling through a region that had forests on mountains and decided this was a good place to rest for the day, maybe do some training. You found a spot where the river flowed and had fresh fish - you tied your horse to a tree so it could have a drink and gave him a bucket of food while you hunted for your own.

You caught 5 fish and began cooking them ever the fire when a scent hit your nose and you explained. "I know you are hiding there, behind the tree at my back. Come out - both of you." You called out.

The shocked gasp was followed by a little green demon with a staff with 2 heads stumble from behind the tree and a much larger man stepped from behind it with a stern look in his amber eyes. He walked out from hiding and [Fang Name] began to shake, just as it did when you first met Inuyasha.

"Let me guess - Tōga's First Son & Wielder of The Tenseiga: Sesshōmaru, right?" you asked without turning to look in his direction but your ears picked up on him coming closer.

"That's Lord Sesshōmaru to you!" The small green demon said as h waved his staff at you with tiny angry but his rant was cut short as the back of his head was hit by Sesshōmaru's fluff as the tall demon looked down at you.

"I was wondering why Tenseiga was acting strange since we entered this region." His glared looks down at the sheathed sword secured in the sash around your waist, "That's another of my father's fangs. So, he made more than Tessaiga, Tenseiga, and Sō'unga?" He asked you.

"That's correct. This is [Fang Name] and I know you can tell by the smell of my blood - I am his youngest spawn & a Half-Demon, you knew that before even coming here." You said, still not turning to him.

"Smart." He said.

"Then tell me - why have you not attempted to attack me and take [Fang Name] for yourself?" You questioned.

"Why would I?" He questioned.

"I've heard of your dislikes of Humans & Half-Demons, mainly the middle brother: Inuyasha, since he got the fang you wanted. You can sense the power in [Fang Name], I could feel your gaze on it; so why don't you try to take it?" You questioned.

He was silent for a moment before he walked over to you and sat beside you - now in your peripheral vision - but he kept his eyes to the flowing river. You both just sat there - listening to the river and the fire crackling. The fish was done, you took -ff and offered to your eldest brother.

"You're wasting your time. Lord Sesshōmaru doesn't eat human food and...HUH?!" His jaw fell open as he watched his lord take the fish in his hand before taking a bite from it; even a muttered thank you.

You both ate in silence for at least a few hours before the sun began to sink over the horizon & he rose to his feet and began to walk away - he stopped halfway in the field and you knew.

"I shall not follow, Sesshōmaru; as I have told Inuyasha - I didn't need brothers then and I don't know." You said.

"You shall not follow me today but one day you will - it's my will that you stay close to me. The next time we meet, you shall travel with me." he walked away, into the darkness of the forest.

Once you were alone again, you looked up at the full moon in the sky, wondering what challenges you would face...and how you would avoid your brothers.

[thealternateuniverse]

Paradise City (Axl Rose) PART 2

WARNINGS: Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll (kidding) Language too.

"I told you ladies to expect visitors."

All of us groaned in frustration. "Yeah, and saw me naked."

I protested, cause Axl saw me like I'm waiting for him to fuck me, their encounter isn't horrible as mine.

All their heads turn to me.

"Okay girls, listen they won't be here for long I suggest you deal with them and talk to them about the ....well arrangement. They are harmless."

We all shook our heads.

"I can't believe this is happening."

I mumbled hopeless, there is no way I am dealing with Axl Rose.

"Beta I don't even know the guy." Katherine said shyly, I wonder who she end up with in her place.

"Seriously this is not funny and we are not some reality show women." It was Wesley who speak.

"Please bear them just for tonight. We'll talk about this tomorrow."

All of us sighed in exhasperation, what a great way to start the vacation.

The next morning is normal. When I got back last night Axl wasn't there anymore and one of my underwear is missing too ew that was nasty of him if he took it.

I don't know how the girls' night went. I haven't seen the Guns n Roses but I'm thankful we don't have to deal with them today.

Susan and I decided to have a dip in the beach and soak under the sun. Others have their own excuses, Aimee is on her period, Kath is taking a nap (she didn't get some sleep last night I guess?) and Wesley is doing her stuff.

"Are you kidding me?!" I groaned when I saw the five of them doing dumb things in the beach. I thought they were gone?

"Err- let's just not mind them." Susan said. We settle ourselves in one of the recliners and enjoyed the sun.

"How was your night?" I ask Susan. She seems okay unlike us. "It's fine, Duff was a gentleman. He slept on the couch then he's gone by morning."

So her villa is supposed to be Duff's?

"You know I really don't understand this ridicule, why are we even here?"

I just don't get it why are we in an island with Guns n Roses? It's like dealing with the wild, lucky Susan she don't have to deal with Duff.

"I guess we just have to go with the flow. They seem nice." Susan grinned. Wait....

"Oh you like Duff huh." I teased and Susan blushes. "No I'm not, I think he likes Katherine."

Who wouldn't like Katherine? She is sweet, soft spoken and beautiful.

"Well these men are ......wild." Of  course I knew them and their reputation. I bumped into them many times, being a roadie has it's perks you know and I happen to use it for my adoration towards Sebastian Bach. God the guy is pretty and I think I'm in-love whenever I see him. We had interactions because he's friends with the Crüe and I think I'm a lucky bitch.

"I don't think so. They look like they can be tamed." Oh Susan if you only knew.

Slash and Steven saw me and they went to our direction. Well they are the only two who aren't assholes and Duff also. Izzy is civil and Axl is......Axl.

"Charlie... you're here." Steven acknowledges but his eyes are on Susan.

"And you have a friend." Same with Slash who has his eyes on Susan's......bust. I throw them my water bottle.

"Hey fuckers eyes up here."

Scratching their heads they turn their attention to me. Perverts.

"Okay Susan, this is Slash and this is Steven. Slash, Steven this is Susan." Susan extended her arm to shake hands with the two.

"Nice to meet you guys." Susan smiled at them, Steve blushes while Slash scratches his head.

"Do you have any idea why we're here? Are you with this too?" I ask the two of them. The two look at each other and Steven answered me.

"No, I wasn't expecting company either. "

I guess we are all in the same page.

"If I were you, I'll just enjoy. Exclusive vacation with 5 hot guys? Life is good." Slash proudly said and Susan and I laughs.

"Come on girls why don't you join us? Let's have some walk shall we?"

I got up from the recliner seat. Su and I are wearing a two piece string bikini  and I covered it with some see through.

"Uhh I think I'm fine here. You go ahead guys."

Steven and Slash shrugs off. "Bummer."

We left Susan and we take a walk in the beach.

"I feel like anytime soon Vince will come and take our heads."

I took off my aviators and laugh at what Slash said.

"Let's not talk about that blonde bitch."

Doesn't mean there is a feud between Axl and Vince I won't be friends with other members. Motley Crüe is more handful than them and GnR are sober when they want to.

"Speaking of blonde..." Steven grins and the two of them looks at Susan's direction.

"Oh, not Susan. I think her and Duff is way better." Both of them frowned. It's true though that Susan and Duff will be a cute pair.

"Bummer Charlie. It's just a crush, I think you and Axl will be a good pair after that sex ta---" Steven didn't finish off his sentence when Slash elbowed him on the stomach.

"I'm sorry what?" Steven cleared his throat. "You and Axl will make a good pair too. Just don't kill each other."

They both laugh at me when I scowled. They keep on teasing me with Axl over the duration of our walk and I'm starting to get pissed off.

"Come on Charlie, Axl isn't that bad especially in bed. Do you know what you need?" I suppose to ask him what but Slash had me already on his shoulders carrying me like a sack and I started to scream.

"FUCK YOU SLASH! PUT ME DOWN!"  Steven being a great help at all just stood there and laugh. I screamed even more when Slash started running and throw me to the water.

"FUCK YOU SLASH!"

I rose from the water, stupid move because a I was hit by a big wave making me stumble and fell to the water again. That didn't end there because my bikini top is gone.

Steve and Slash are still laughing at me. God I wanna drown them in the water right now and why did I wear string bikinis? The riskiest piece of clothing when you are in beach.

"Yow Charlie you okay?"

I wrap my arms around myself, I don't know how to rose from the water without any top. I won't walk around exposing my tits to these guys.

I blush at the thought.

"S-Slash....Can you help me?"

My body is still in the water and I'm starting to feel cold.

"Nope. You can't make us go in the water, I know you will drown me."

I want to kick him right now, he throws me in to the water, I lost my bikini top, now I don't know how can I get out of here with decency. Susan is nowhere in sight.

"Damn it. My bikini top is gone can you help me get out of the water atleast?" That made them shut up, Steven blushed and Slash's mouth formed into an 'o'.

"W-well I'll just get my shirt."

Slash ran to their cottage and took his shirt, he went into the water and hannded it to me.

When I was done wearing his shirt I pulled him and pushed him under water.

"You idiot that was White Fox!"

Slash gasp for air when he rose. I left him there fighting for his life.

"Sorry. I'll buy you hundreds of bikinis and lingerie Charlie! Just don't drown me again." He said without any remorse.

I flip him off and walk towards my place. I need to rinse cause the salt water feels sticky all over my body.

Axl Rose is being bitchy. I don't know what got into him but I guess its just his mood swings. He has anger management issues.

"What?" His deep voice filled the thick air. He caught me staring at him.

"Nothing." I avoided his gaze and laid down on bed.

"Can you fucking move over?"

Is he serious? He could've ask nicely.

"What the fuck is your problem Rose?" I move over just like what he asked. Axl lay down next to me his forearm covering his eye.

"Not your business." He answered.

Okay, maybe he and his girlfriend had a fight.

"Wharton."

"Hmm?"

He scooted closer which caught me off guard.

His hand landed on my waist and nuzzle his head on my neck.

"What are you doing Rose?"

I tried to remove his hand but he only tightened his grip.

"Sleep Charlie."

That was the first time he addresed me in my first name.

I woke up and Axl is gone beside me. It's 7 already and I'll be missing dinner.

When I got to the common room, everyone is there already, including the guys. It's weird to see them interacting when we want to get rid of them just yesterday. Wesley and Izzy are talking, Susan and Duff is at their own little world, Kathy and Steve are both laughing probably from Steven's corny jokes, and Aimee just sat there quietly watching them. Slash and Axl are talking and by the looks of it Slash is either high or drunk because he is leaning his head on the couch with his glasses on.

I sat down beside Slash and lean my head on his shoulder. I wanted to sleep more but I'm hungry.

By the looks of it, everyone already ate dinner because of the leftovers.

"Here." Axl gave me a plate with foods.

"You were asleep so I reserved some for you."

I smiled at him, not the sarcastic one but genuine and muttered thanks.

He nodded and I started to munch the food.

I noticed some bottles of Corona ans Jack, I guess they had been drinking.

After I finish eating my food, we went to the recreation room and everyone started to play billiards, more like Wesley, Aimee, Izzy, Steven and Kath.

"Not having fun Wharton?"

Slash sat beside me on the couch he already took off his glasses.

"I just wanted to sleep." I snuggled closer and lean my head on his shoulder.

He offered me his glass of Jack which I accepted.

"Bummer. You know Axl is sending me daggers."

I turned my head to Axl's direction and he is glaring at Slash.

"He thinks I'm trying to get in your pants." I nearly choke. Why is he bothered though?

"So? What is it to him?"

Slash scoffed. "Come on, that red head likes you. He just can't get closer to you because of Vince. You don't remember what happened in MTV awards don't you?"

I can't recall what happened during that time cause I was drunk all I know is that they caused riot in the event.

Then I remember Slash is high at the moment, maybe he is just blabbering rubbish.

"You're high aren't you?" I look directly into his eyes and his pupils are dilated. Gosh he and Steven had a line of cocaine.

"No I'm not." Slash threw his arms drunkenly around me.

"Yeah, only if they had some weed here."

Drugs aren't new to me, for Mötley Crue it's their candy and I've tried it only to end up in an overdose. I'm clean now though, weed works for me.

"I swear. Axl is going to kill me anytime."

Slash hid behind me from Axl's glare and I glared at him back but he only rolled his eyes. Asshat.

"I think I'll play with the girls so he won't be sending dagger looks to you."

Slash nodded and I went to the girls and participated at their game.

We played pool and the Jack is finally hitting our systems.

Steven is high and drunk, Kath is passed out beside him, Susan stood on the pool table, dancing while Duff is trying to get her down. Wesley and I are laughing with Izzy and Aimee is just silently listening to us. Axl is now beside Slash and the two seems drunk also.

We stopped when Axl and Slash started to brawl against each other.

"Fuck off Slash."

Axl already had Slash slammed on the wall. Slash who is high among the two only smirked which pissed the latter even more.

"Axl, back off." Duff tried to pull him away from Slash but Axl shrugs him off.

All of us are drunk and its not a good idea if drunken people fight.

"Why don't you tell her Ax?"

Axl's  jaw clenched stopping himself from punching Slash.

"I told you Slash fuck off."

He answered through gritted teeth. Everyone seemed sobered up when they heard the two fighting.

"Told what Axl?" Izzy asks with confusion.

"Told Charlie about the sex----"

Slash didn't finish off his sentence because Axl's fist landed on his face.

"Oh my god!" The girls gasped.

Duff and Izzy pulled away Axl before he could throw a punch again.

"Axl!" I stood in front of Axl and stared directly into his green orbs.

"Tell me what Axl?"

Axl didn't seem to hear me and is trying to get off from Izzy and Duff's grasp.

"Get out of the fucking way Charlie."

I didn't listen to Axl, instead I moved closer to him my eyes never left his.

"Axl...." I cupped his face.

"Axl calm down....." I spoke in a soft tone hoping he will calm down.

"Look at me......" Axl listened to me and calms himself. He got off from Izzy and Duff and stormed out of the room.

I went to Slash to check if he's okay. "Are you okay Slash?" Wesley is attending him now with an ice pack. Where did she get that?

"You really need to talk to him Charlie." I nodded at him and followed Axl outside.

Axl is walking towards our villa and half run to keep up with him.

"Axl....."

He didn't turn around and fasten his pace.

"Axl, wait!"

"Fuck! Not now Charlie!" He yelled and I stop on my tracks.

"Really? Not now?! After you almost beat each Slash?"

Axl stopped on his tracks too and he turn around, eyes filled with anger.

"You don't know a thing."

"Then tell me what the fuck are you two fighting about?!" I'm getting impatient and done of Axl's attitude too. I don't know what is with him but everytime we see each other it's always bickering and insulting each other.

"Because of that fucking sex tape!"

And what's about the sex tape?

"And why am I involved?!"

We are yelling at each each other, our distance isn't that far but I'm getting fruatrated so he is.

"It's our fucking sex tape Charlie, it's out and everywhere. That's why Vince wanted to kill me even more."

This is the sickest joke I've heard. He is kidding right?!

"W-what the fuck? Are you high too like Slash?"

I wanted him to say yes but..

"Am not! Remember the MTV riot? It's because Vince found out we hooked up and he thought I am using you to get even with him. When in fact I was also drunk as you are that time."

I feel like I'm in some prank show but I'm not, I hope this is just me and the alcohol.

"And why is there a sex tape?"

If he is also drunk that time then how the hell it was recorded?

"I don't have any idea. It's out in the public that's why Vince sent you here."

I laugh. I don't know why did I laugh but fuck it my life rotated 360 just now.

"I'm sorry, Charlie I should've told y---" Axl attempted to move towards me but I stop him.

"Stop, don't be fucking anywhere near me."

I ran to the villa leaving Axl, tears streaming down my face.

I am mad at Axl right now but I'm even more mad at Vince. He did not let me decide and took control of my life. What is it to him if Axl and I hooked up? I wasn't even aware that we hooked up and now I am involve in a scandal. I can handle myself, I know Axl too because he is used to issues but what made Vince think to hide me here?

"Charlie.. open the door please." He knocks into my room. Technically his room but whatever. It's not even locked.

"I know you're mad but please let's talk...."

He's calmer now than he is 15 minutes ago, I can't help but roll my eyes.

I wipe my tears when he opened the door. I didn't spare him any glance when he entered the room, my back is facing him when he sat on the bed.

"I'm sorry. We're doing everything now to take it down."

He sighed.

I continue wiping my tears that won't stop.

"And I understand if you're mad. I'm really sorry Charlie."

Not to be sarcastic but wow. Axl Rose said sorry and shit is real because he is beside me.

I am not mad at him to Vince either even though I was earlier,  it's just that I am upset because something is happening with my life, I know Vince is just trying to protect me but I can handle myself. This issue will die down sooner or later when another band got into a fight or something, it must be also tough for Axl because it involves Vince the two was never okay ever since.

I got up from bed and face him.

"The world probably saw my tits now, and my cellulites and my stretch marks. I think my mascara was even smudge during that time amd my lipstick is everywhere." 

It's a silly remark but I don't want Axl to feel bad about himself more.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm just upset." I bit my lip and look away. God I hate crying.

Axl leaned forward and wipe my tears.

"Don't cry. I feel even more bad."

"How did Vince found out that...err-you know... 👉👌"

I felt blush crept into my cheek.

I wanted to remember how we fucked that night. Duh, Axl has a reputation for being good in bed.

"I don't know how we got there but he found us in Nikki's hotel room and that's when shit started."

I'm still puzzled why Vince sent me here when he knew that this is GnR's turf?

"Then why sent me here? I guess he is not dumb enough yet?"

I giggled thinking of Vince's  stupidity.

"We saw the tape already before it went public. Someone mailed it to Nikki and Slash. Vince even stormed in our studio and threw some punch at me after. I didn't fought back and swore to him I don't know anything about it. He took the copy from me and burned it, we thought it stopped there but the next day it's on tabloids already."

I covered myself in embarassment. My cousin, Nikki, Tommy and Mick had watch us fucking. Even Slash and I don't know who else in GnR. I won't be able to look at them straight now.

"Did you---have you watch it too?"

And I am embarassing myself more by asking him.

"Yeah and it was-----" he gulped. Probably uncomfortable talking about it.

"I didn't knew you were.........insatiable."

I plopped down to bed and covered my face with a pillow.

It was obvious I took control that nght.

"Kill me now." I mumbled and Axl laughs. He didn't help at all.

"Sorry. I've put you to this. Your life is peaceful and now..."

"Come here."

I patted the space beside me and he obliged by lying beside.

"Shit happens and it will be gone soon." I said hoping it will assure him that it's not just his fault because we were both responsible for what happened.

"But still everyone saw you naked already. "

I slap his arm. "Don't remind me Rose."

"God how I wanted to kill everyone. Including Slash."

Again, why is he so hard with Slash?

Hmm?

"Why are you so mean to Slash? And speaking of... you punched him."

Being the sass he is, he rolled his eyes.

"He saw the video and you were having too much fun it bothers me."

I gasped. Axl Rose how is he bothered? Unless...

"Are you jealous?"

Axl leaned forward until our faces are only inch apart.

"What the fuck do you think?"

Oh my god.

"Hmm. Try harder Rose.."

"Sleep Wharton."

I couldn't help but smile. I like Axl, who wouldn't? even before if only he wasn't acting like an ass.

"Sleep baby. We'll have a date tomorrow."

He kisses my forehead. I snuggled to him and his hands landed on my waist.

"Nice try Rose."

One thing is for sure. I am loving the Paradise Island.

[biggy-habes]

Yesterday ended up being the day that I had been dreading for a while. I had to say goodbye to my best friend. My little buddy. My copilot. My Road Dawg.

Fennie passed on from this life on July 3rd in the comfort of his own home with me and Kat holding him until the very end. This was something that I had promised him from the very beginning. A promise that I would never leave him. That I would be with him until the very end. And that I would always be by his side. I owed him that much.

Fennie's path crossed mine back in 2010 when I walked into the animal shelter at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. I was looking for a small dog that would fit in my tiny 1BR apartment. I got to his cage and I saw a skinny little shit that looked like he wanted to get out of his cage and eat me and my first thought was "This pup has spunk!" He had a deep, bright orange coat and a fluffy tail that made him look like he was part fox and had these dark orange freckled spots on his white nose. His face could only be described as "scampish". The worker asked if I wanted to take him out and spend some time with him to see if he warmed up to me so I took him outside in the visitation pen. He didn't seem all that affectionate and was not particularly friendly with me. But there was something about him. I saw something within him. I asked about his history and all that was known was that he was 2 years old and had been surrendered by an elderly couple for being too aggressive. I looked at this tiny little guy and wondered "How much trouble could he be?" 15 minutes later I was walking out with this Spaniel mix (whose original name was actually Lucky. Clearly that name would not stick around for much longer.)

Fennie was originally supposed to be a dog that my girlfriend at the time and I would raise together. However when we split up it was agreed that she would get the cats and I would keep Fennie. It was this decision that would change my life forever. I would no longer be able to use the bathroom without someone worrying where I went. For 11 years this dog would never leave my side. And if I had to be gone for an extended period of time it was preceded with the promise that I would ALWAYS come back for him.

One thing that Fennie will always be remembered for was his never-ending energy. He was constantly going 100 miles a minute. He could not slow down and he would never tire. It was like they took the vigor of a large golden lab and stuffed it into a tiny 20 pound body. No hike was ever long enough. There were never enough objects for him to hump. When he was around 4 I can remember thinking "I cannot wait for him to get a little older so that he will slow down a little bit". Well I would end up waiting for that day to come for a very, very long time.

Despite his size and stature, Fennie always felt like he was so much bigger than he actually was. No matter where he was he would walk around with a poise that he owns all that can be seen and anyone or anything intruding in his territory would have to answer to him. At the dog park he would go up and snatch toys from dogs that could CLEARLY beat his ass without even giving it a second thought. He had some big ol' brass balls, man! He never viewed himself as being in the Not-Even-2-Feet-In-Length, 20 pound body that he was in. He was always vigilant and on guard. No box, package, suitcase, or bag was able to get past him without going through a rigorous sniff search first. He took his job as protector of his territory and his Daddy very seriously!

Fennie would end up living a life that few other dogs would get the opportunity to. As being with a person who is constantly drifting, he got to see more of this great country than most of the people that I know. He has been on the boardwalk in Myrtle Beach. He has been to the mountains of Flagstaff. He has been to ABQ, New Mexico. He has been to Detroit Rock City. He has touched the top of the highest peak east of the Mississippi. He has visited the aftermath of the destruction caused by the tornado in Joplin, Missouri. He has been to Kalamazoo. He has been to Vegas. In his lifetime he has marked Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, New York, Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, Missouri, and Illinois as his. He has been through 3 tropical storms, 3 ice storms, 2 tornados, a blizzard, and an earthquake. He has scrapped with a bull terrier and lived to tell the tale. His life was full of adventures, road trips, and hikes.

I’m not going to lie and say that he loved everyone that he met. But I will say that he has touched the heart of everyone that he ever encountered. He was honestly the right dog for the right person at the right time. We shared so many of the same character traits. He was moody. He got irritated very easily. He just had a way of pulling you in. He was lovable, yet complicated. He was selfish and jealous. He didn’t really like to engage in play with any other dogs. He wasn’t one to share. There was never any “Lets Play Fetch”. He had a fiery temper. He was overly cautious. He had a tendency to be untrusting. I have many friends and family that bore the mark of meeting him on their fingertips for a few days afterwards. But he could also be affectionate, and funny, and had the tendency to be a bit of a klutz. He was a great cuddler! And for such a small dog, he had a personality that would burst at the seams.

In his 11 years with me he has shown and taught me so much. He taught me the value of loyalty. If I could use 3 words to describe Fennie then they would be “Loyal…As…FUCK!” Relationships would come and go but he stuck by my side no matter what. He had my back and was willing to protect me at the drop of a hat. And he refused to let anyone or anything come between him and I. He taught me patience. My LORD he taught me some patience!! He taught me that however old you are, you can still be young at heart. And he taught me to love unconditionally. I was not always the best owner. I would get upset at him for things that he had nothing to do with. He would get scared when I would lose my temper. And yet he would still come over to me to comfort me and let me know that he was there for me when I was done. And I cannot tell you the amount of times I accidentally stepped on his paw while walking or whacked him in the head while opening a cabinet, and he would just sit there looking at me like “Eh whatever. So what’s up with that walk you were talking about?”

Although I had other pets growing up, Fennie was the first dog that was MINE. And he is not a someone that I could ever forget. He traveled with me as I bounced from place to place and would only give me a look as if to say "Hey man, I trust you. Just don't leave me." He devoted his entire life to me, and it was only fitting that I spend his whole life by his side. And he gave me a pretty awesome life. I had noticed that he his health had been declining about a year ago. He started slowing down. Getting up was getting to be more of a struggle. His stomach started having issues. He ended up requiring a surgery. I asked myself if the cost of the surgery was worth getting 6 more months with my little buddy. I ended up getting a year. I got my money's worth.

Fenway "Fennie" Haber, affectionately referred to as Foo Bear, Bubba, Fennie Foo (or Fennie Foo Bear if you aren't into the whole brevity thing) will always be remembered for his temperament, his charm, and his overall cuteness. Just like his dear Papa. I was so fortunate to spend the last decade with him by my side. I wasn't exactly sure if I had made the right decision when I first chose him. But I couldn't imagine my life without him. He left this world cuddled up on his favorite blanket alongside his favorite shirt and he was surrounded by love until the light faded from him. As he started to drift off I spoke my last words to him...

For 11 years you've been my Ryde or Die

The time has come for us to say goodbye

The day I have been dreading is finally here

The end of a legacy and a legend is near

Thank you for the life you have given me

Thank you for your undying loyalty

Thank you for comforting me when I needed a friend

Thank you for trusting me until the very end.

I'm going to miss you taking up the whole bed

And your cuddles that were top notch

And when I'm napping you kicking me in the head

And stomping me in the crotch

Don't worry about what will happen to me

After you are gone.

You did such a great job taking care of your Dad

and I will continue to go on

But I will always keep you tucked deep inside my heart

until my life is through

You aren't a dog that is easy to forget

And no matter what I will continue to love you

So if you see me crying as I hold you

and looking scared and sad

It's only because I'll miss you so much

and the life together we had

Get some rest, little buddy

And for now I'll say goodbye

But I'm sure I'll see you again in some crazy dream

Or when I get a little too high

Via con dios my little friend.

Na Zdrowie, Fennie!

Do Widzenie.

You were the right dog, for the right person, at the right time.