#and theo adds 'yeah! and i need to restore my honor as a dog owner!'

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Please forgive me for interrupting, but when I saw this post I about screamed it's my time because. That is one of my favorite event stories, and it's among the most uproarious things I've ever read in my life. Basically in one of the Boys Talk New Years series, Mozart, Sebas, and Comte are doing exactly what's enumerated above, and then Comte out of left field is like:

And my friends. When I tell you I screamed so loud when he said this. It's even funnier because iirc Sebastian is like "lmfao so he basically just wants a Theo-type MC" AND COMTE DOESN'T DENY IT. I need to find the whole video again but it was amazing; my life was before and after that moment. Mozart's disgust is hilarious too

A related addendum, since I never got around to posting it (spoilers for Boys Talk 2023 jpn):

There's another Boys Talk for 2023, and in this one Theo and Isaac are disheartened by a party Comte invited them to attend. Basically all the women there met them and went "lmao I want him as a pet, boyfailure" and "omg????? I want to support him and his research, I need to protect that smile" respectively, and they're both mortified at the perceived emasculation.

So they bring it up to Comte, and then insist that he teach them how to be charming/woo women properly. Two absolutely HILARIOUS things ensue from this. The first being ->

For the better part of this whole thing Comte is just so openly amused. (The sense I get from him is legit "fools that you are, everything women do is a serve." AND I SCREAM. The way he reminds me of IkeSen Shingen in these moments.) Eventually he tells them both to improve themselves and/or work on their own charms (we stan a king, that is the correct response) if they want women to take them seriously. Then Theo and Isaac start laying it on thick that he's a master class seducer:

Theo: Oh, that might be a good idea. But then of course, it’s your specialty. You’ve seduced hundreds of women in high society, haven’t you? Isaac: Then now is the time to make the most of a vampire's years/achievements. Tell us of the skills you've cultivated over hundreds of years of seduction. Comte: Would you mind not telling me that I spent my long life idle and dumb…? (Vernacular translation: Would you stop making it sound like all I’ve done is chase skirts all these years…?)

And I just. The way he's so "aight listen you little shits, I May Be S t u p i d" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love that he has zero defense but he's still lowkey peeved to be exposed

2. The second funny part, and the one more pertinent to this reply, is that Comte does something unhinged and supremely goofy. He agrees to do a lesson to help them learn to escort MC/women properly, but the absolute madlad has them practice. ON EACH OTHER.

Comte: Let’s give it a try so that you both have a better sense of what it looks like in real time… Comte: Isaac will try to woo Theo, Theo will try to woo me, and I will try to woo Isaac. Theo: What Isaac: What Comte: Let’s begin, 3,2,1--

I love the fact that Theo and Isaac get so carried away they just go along with it. But notice that Comte chooses Theo to seduce him 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'm going to add the ensuing madness that results mostly because it makes me lose my shit laughing literally every single time:

Isaac: Oh…your sea-colored eyes are so beautiful. I always want them to reflect only me. Theo (O_O): Isaac… --- Theo: You belong to me, Comte. For every bit as long as a pureblood’s forever… Comte: Theo… --- Comte: Your blush/cheeks are the same cherry-blossom as your eyes, Isaac. Did your thoughts dye you such a lovely pink? Isaac: Comte… --- [All three of them]: ……………………. Isaac: Nonononono, was it really necessary for us to practice with other men!? This is embarrassing!! Theo: I'm horrified…just horrified…it turned into an unbelievably perverted space… Comte: I thought I could curb my persuasion skills according to the situation, but I see the mental damage was too great... Theo: Guess it was on us for asking… Isaac: I just wanted to show MC my manly/sexy side…now I’m going to be traumatized… …Nights like these must be kept a complete secret from MC.

Okay - so I forgot which event it was, but I know Le Comte and Sebastian and somebody else were talking in a bath or something (I know, terrible explanation) and they start talking about S or M (shirt sizes, but Comte makes them think it’s about BDSM) and Comte literally says that he would like to see MC as an “S” and would like to “see her dressed in latex”, so all I’m saying is that it’s canon.

😂😂😂😂 Comte, LOML, I would trust him to be down with anything she wanted to do in the bedroom. He’s such a lovable deviant for that and I love and support it all the way 🤣💕