#and then made his friends and family split into teams and find clues and solve riddles and compete to solve the murder
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okay i forgot to check the results on this and now i can't stop laughing. this is amazing i love u all so much
#i was having some kind of hormonal mood swings the other day i think because the dip and pip sweep is rly funny actually#also the fact that scott. arguably my favorite channel on this entire list. is the ONLY one who got 0 votes 😭😭#im gonna start posting scott cramer propaganda i gotta get more people into him he's so fucking fun#today he posted a video on his side channel of him tier ranking state tourism logos (he's already done flags + license plates + licenses)#other highlights include a halloween series where he set up a fake murder mystery scenario in his house#and then made his friends and family split into teams and find clues and solve riddles and compete to solve the murder#he also does stuff about fargo/ND in general sometimes including a rly fun video about the enchanted highway#plus a personal favorite of mine: his video about small town fairs/festivals where he went to a bunch of local ones#check him out it's fun stuff!!!
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Can't Wait to Meet You, So Join the Animatronic Family
By: Tory Andrews
Spoilers for the Five Nights at Freddy’s movie ahead, but minimal lore spoilers.
On August 14, 2014, Mark Fischbach, more commonly known as ‘Markiplier’, uploaded a video to his YouTube channel titled ‘WARNING: SCARIEST GAME IN YEARS’. The video featured a simple game playthrough of a nightguard keeping watch of some Chuck E Cheese-esque animatronics, essentially making sure nobody breaks in, and the animatronics stay untouched. As the night progresses, the animatronics, a yellow chicken, a BLUE bunny, a red pirate fox, and a brown bear sporting a top hat, move around the building, making their way toward the security room. Complete with various ominous and stress-inducing sounds, a quick-drying power supply, hilarious commentary, and a limited range of motion, this gameplay would become one of Markiplier’s most-viewed videos. Who knew that this video and countless other videos would spark interest in an indie video game about haunted animatronics?
Now fast forward 9+ years, and now, ‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ is Blumhouse Studio’s highest-grossing film of all time, beating ‘Split’.
Despite Five Nights at Freddy’s being a video game, a lot of its fans admit to not playing any of the games. This is quite ironic until you find out how popular YouTube ‘Let’s Plays’ are. You can sit back and watch somebody else play all while listening to hilarious commentary. In fact, CoryxKenshin, a popular YouTuber who frequently plays FNaF games, made a cameo in the FNaF movie as the cab driver. Beyond the games, the fandom has taken a life of its own, creating artwork, hilarious and iconic videos, fanfiction, cosplays, fan-made music, and fan-made merch alike! This fandom really knows no bounds, as the fan-made song ‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ by The Living Tombstone is the ending credits song to the movie. Speaking of the movie, Blumhouse co-founder Jason Blum and movie director Emma Tammi made it their mission to make a movie that would be ‘for the fans’ and not the critics. Since the fandom received it so well, it’s safe to say they achieved their goal.
Now, you simply cannot talk about FNaF, its fandom, and the movie without talking about the elephant in the room. THE LORE! Scott Cawthon, FNaF’s creator, has really gone all in with his intricate and cryptic storytelling abilities to tell the story of the Afton family, Afton Robotics, Fazbear Entertainment, revenge, atonement, and, of course, animatronic farm animals. And since the lore is so complex and takes a real eye to detail to ‘solve’ it, one YouTuber has made it his mission to piece it all together. Matthew Patrick, also known as MatPat, and his team of theorists on the Game Theorists channel pick apart every game, book, easter egg, announcement, poster, and everything in between to find bits of lore or clues. MatPat’s dedication to solving the story has given icon status within the fandom, so much so that he also has a cameo in the movie. He even says his iconic line, which he uses to end all of his videos, “But that’s just a theory.” I was fortunate enough to see the movie on opening night with a few of my friends and some classmates. One of the friends I went with was MSMU senior Emily Hellstrom, who grew up with the fandom. “Undoubtedly, it’s the memories I associate with it. I have a very clear memory of being in the back of the bus from a field trip to UCLA, sitting while one of my friends was playing the beta of the second game… I have memories of sitting at dinner watching [MatPat]’s game theories and other YouTubers such as [Markiplier] and [jacksepticeye] play the game.” After a night filled with snacks, jokes, lore dumps, and going crazy because of a reference only the fandom would get, the movie ended. “I was almost in tears- but of course, I did cry because my childhood was honored and complete.” Whether you grew up feeling scared of these animatronics or had a friend lore-dump on you on the way to the theater, it’s safe to say that the FNaF fandom and franchise are diehard, iconic, and nostalgic. “The fandom for the game is what truly adds to its magic, I think.”
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Do You Remember Now?
Summary: It's Peter's birthday and everyone is planning on a surprise when he wakes up. Except there's a huge problem. Peter's gone missing.
Word count: 4k+
Warnings: Descriptions of violence, swearing, ANGST, mentions of dealing with grief.
A/N: I haven't really written angst before so I don't know how hard it's going to hit. I did tear up at one part while typing so maybe it's a bit heavy???
Peter's disappearance happened when everyone least expected it. It was the morning of his birthday, and all the heroes of the universe were going to be there. It would have been the first reunion in over 5 years where everyone was available to come, Asgardians and Guardians as well. Everyone was going to sneak into Peter's room to wake him up with a collective shout of "SURPRISE!" and pop an unnecessary amount of party poppers all over the room.
Tony peeked inside first to make sure that Peter was still asleep before beckoning everyone inside. But he felt a cold draft flowing from the crack between the door and the doorframe that shouldn't have been possible due to the picture windows.
He entered the room to find the window cut open and various items belonging to Peter scattered on the floor. There was no sign of Peter himself and the excited feeling that Tony had all morning quickly twisted into something he had felt only when Pepper had been taken years ago by Killian.
It was the feeling of debilitating fear.
Tony felt a wave of nausea hit him as various scenarios all ran through his head, each with Peter hurt, scared, or possibly even dead.
Pepper was the first to notice Tony hadn't come to get everyone. He came out of Peter's room after a few minutes more of waiting. But he wasn't acting like the excited father he was only moments before.
"Tony, what's wrong?" She asked, feeling anxiety building up with each second of silence.
Tony turned to look at everyone with a haunted look in his eyes. Pepper recognized it as the same expression he had when he had returned from space after fighting Thanos. Something was horribly wrong, and it had to do with Peter.
"Tony, talk to me. What's happening." Pepper asked gently despite the worry she felt.
"Peter's not there." He whispered hoarsely and turned to look at her. "Pep, we can't lose him again."
Morgan, Carter and Harley had heard what Tony said and they all felt a sharp stab of fear and worry. Morgan felt tears burning in her eyes, and buried her face in Carter's shoulder for a moment to compose herself. Carter held her close and stroked her hair while Harley walked into Peter's room to see it for himself.
Harley looked around the entire space. He checked the closet, the hammock near the ceiling, and the bathroom adjacent to Peter's room to no avail.
"FRIDAY, show me the tower's security activity from 11pm last night up until dad opened Peter's door." Harley requested.
But to everyone's shock, there was no familiar response of, "Sure thing boss." from the speakers throughout the tower.
FRIDAY was out of commission. That meant that somebody had been able to shut down an AI made by Tony Stark, which is no easy feat. This meant someone skilled was behind it and most likely planned the kidnapping with extreme scrutiny.
Nothing about the situation was remotely close to how everyone thought this day was going to go.
"We need to get Friday back online ASAP." Morgan shakily said. "If we are able to access the security cameras, there's a chance we might be able to find a clue."
Carter glanced at Morgan and saw the pain and worry in her eyes, and gently took her hand and squeezed it to reassure her. She squeezed it back to acknowledge his presence.
"Morgan, Harley, and Carter, come with me to my lab. Nat, you reach out to any contacts who may know something. Carol, this is a long shot, but I want you to ask off world allies if they have any clues as well." Tony ordered. "Everyone else start looking around the tower for clues of any sort. If you see anything remotely suspicious, make a note of it."
*Time skip*
Nobody had been able to find a trace of a clue regarding Peter's whereabouts.
Not any of Tony's extensive connections had an idea. Natasha's contacts hadn't heard any chatter about a kidnapping or hostage. Carol came up empty from every person she had asked but that wasn't unexpected.
Morgan had been back to school and Carter was supportive whenever she needed reassurance. But after a month of no news, or leads, she was starting to lose the little hope she had left. Peter would promise her before every mission, that he would come home safe and sound. But this time he hadn't come home. She didn't even know where he had gone.
Harley became fixated on building tracking devices, scanners, homing beacons, anything that could help find his brother. Harley had promised to always help Peter if he was in a pinch, regardless of how annoying he could be sometimes.
Tony had shut himself in his lab to fix FRIDAY and go through everything he could think of that could offer some sort of sign, a clue, a word, literally anything to bring Peter back home. He had invented time travel to bring him back so why couldn't he do something as simple as finding a clue? Peter would probably point out an error in his work that would solve his problem but now that wasn't possible.
Pepper busied herself by concentrating on running Stark Industries. Whenever she got the chance, she would drag Tony and Harley out of their labs to eat meals with her. God knows those two would forget to eat if nobody reminded them that food and water was an essential part of living. Peter would usually take care of that but since his disappearance, she took up the job.
Everyone felt a piece of their family was missing. But nobody said his name out loud, even though everyone thought about him.
It just hurt too much to hear his name knowing that by now he was likely dead. That he was never coming home.
And time would continue to pass, as the pain of losing Peter would too.
Until one day, on a mission, everything changed.
*6 months after Peter's disappearance*
HYDRA had suddenly resurfaced with no warnings whatsoever.
They had set off Tony's alert system designed to warn of threats, and a group immediately suited up. Having HYDRA stirring up trouble was never a good sign, especially since they were supposed to be gone. But as the saying goes, "Cut one head off, two more take it's place."
The team that had gone to check out the threat consisted of the original 6 Avengers as well as Harley, Bucky, Kate, and Wanda. Upon arriving at the location that had set off the alarm, they noticed that another group of people were there as well. One person among them in particular stood out to the OG Avengers. Before anyone could make a move, all the Avengers were suddenly knocked down, and tied up so they couldn't move.
"Hey, I found these guys lurking around. Who are they?" An unfamiliar voice asked.
"Yo-Yo, you can let them go. We're friends. Well, at least most of us are, those three I haven't met. It's alright."
All the OG 6 Avengers felt a cold shock run through their bodies. That voice belonged to someone they thought was dead since the Battle of New York.
"Agent Coulson?" Tony asked in shock.
"It's former Director actually and yes, I'm alive." Coulson replied, as everyone was untied by Yo-Yo.
"There's no way." Natasha said as she stood up. "Fury would have said something sooner. And when were you Director of SHIELD?"
"I'm sorry, Nat, but he meant to keep it a secret from all of you. Me being resurrected." Coulson said with regret in his voice. "Said that if you knew, it would have distracted you from your goal."
"Steve, who is this guy?" Bucky asked in confusion.
Coulson's eyes widened in a very comical way when he noticed who had just spoken.
"Sergeant Barnes. It's an honor to meet you." He said, holding out a hand to shake.
Bucky took Coulson's hand to shake and noticed that his hand was not a real hand.
"Your hand... It's mechanical isn't it?" Bucky asked curiously.
"How much has happened with you since we last saw each other?" Steve asked.
"A lot. And we'll talk about it later after we take care of this HYDRA base. I assume that's why you're all here." Coulson said, gesturing to the other group.
"Yes, well, let's introduce the new members of our teams and then make a plan." Steve said.
Coulson informed his team of the change of plans. Everyone on Coulson's team met up for introductions.
"Daisy Johnson, aka Quake. She has the ability to manipulate natural vibrations as well as generate concussive blasts of vibrating air. Elena "Yo-Yo" Rodriguez. She is able to travel at superhuman speeds within the timeframe of a beat of her heart before she bounces back. Hence the nickname, Yo-Yo. Melinda May, expert martial artist, pilot and empath. Mack, Deke, and FitzSimmons are on the Bus right now. You'll meet them later."
Everyone on Tony's side acknowledged their names and took note of their abilities and powers.
"Ok, for the new faces on our side, we have Barnes, the Winter Soldier, who you already know, Wanda, she's got telekinesis and can read minds, Kate, she's Clint's protege, slash eventual replacement and Harley, my oldest kid, who built his own suit." Tony said, introducing the group.
Daisy leaned over to Yo-Yo.
"Tony Stark has kids?" She whispered.
"How the hell would I know?" She responded. "I'm not the former groupie member here."
Daisy glared half heartedly at her.
"I said it was one time!"
"Not my fault you got drunk and told me that story." She shot back.
"Hey, focus we're not here to argue." May interrupted. "We have a mission."
Everyone quickly formed a plan and they all entered the base.
Yo-Yo ran through the halls to assess the amount of security as well as any potentially dangerous weapons. When she was done, she gave the report to Coulson and Tony so they could split their team accordingly.
"May, Harley, Kate, Captain Rogers, Wanda, and I will be one group. Daisy, Yo-Yo, Nat, Clint, Sergeant Barnes, and Tony will be the other. " Coulson explained. "Dr. Banner will be here on comms just in case. I've synced the signal our comms travel on so we're on the same channel. We're going to be split up, so only call for help if necessary. We have about equal amounts of power on each side, so take advantage of every opportunity if need be. Let's go."
Everyone nodded and headed off with their respective groups to raid the base.
(A/N Tony's team will be written in bold and Coulson's team in regular text to avoid unnecessary writing)
Wanda lead the group through the hallways, with May taking out the first few guards easily. Coulson shot ICER bullets at the ones May couldn't focus on while Harley made sure every guard was unconscious. Cap and Kate ran ahead to scout out the next few corridors and the rest of the group quickly followed.
Daisy knocked down the first wave of guards and Yo-Yo tied all of them up while Nat, Clint, Tony and Bucky advanced deeper into the building. A group of guards wielding batons and handguns immediately appeared in their path, blocking the way. Clint shot arrows into the walls that released smoke to obscure the soldiers vision and aim. Tony took advantage of their disorientated state and used heat signature seeking taser blasts to knock them out.
Cap almost got a punch to the face while he rounded a corner but he leaned to the side, barley avoiding it. Kate quickly rushed in and used the man's momentum to flip him over her shoulder into the wall while Cap recovered and punched another soldier trying to attack Kate from behind.
"Thanks." She said, a bit out of breath.
"No problem. Incoming from both sides, get ready." He replied, standing nearly back to back with Kate.
"You got it, Cap." She said, readying her bow.
He threw his shield at the closest guard while Kate shot multiple electric arrows at the hallway in front of her, effectively creating a bolt of electricity that hit multiple targets. They quickly rotated in sync and they repeated the same attacks as before, with Cap taking out the last of the soldiers in his way and Kate knocking out hers.
Tony watched Yo-Yo as she sped forward to scout the next hallway. He couldn't help but think of Pietro Maximoff, and how similar their powers seemed to be. Of course, Yo-Yo bounced back while Pietro didn't. He just kept going forward and never looked back.
Before he could even blink she had returned to the group.
"There's about a dozen guards outside a set of reinforced double doors." She said. "They're guarding something important."
"That's why we're here though. HYDRA has some weapon or something they plan on using, right?" Daisy asked. "Why else would they have resurfaced?"
"It's never a good sign when there's that much security outside an already pretty secure door." Clint added.
"They couldn't have possibly made anything more dangerous than supersoldiers." Bucky muttered.
"I wouldn't put it past HYDRA to find a way to do it." Nat said. "We got to make a plan. We can't just charge in."
Coulson's group had reached the end of the last hallway on their side. There wasn't anything at all to take as evidence or to destroy.
"It can't just be a dead end." Coulson said in disbelief. "There's gotta be a secret door or something at least."
Harley snorted at his complaint.
"I mean that's would I would have done." Kate said thoughtfully. "There wasn't anything of importance on our side of the base. So it makes sense that there's something we're missing."
Cap walked forward and proceeded to rap his knuckles on the wall.
"Whatcha doing there Cap?" Harley joked. "Hoping the secret door will open if you politely knock?"
Cap had moved to the left wall and knocked on it as well.
"He's checking to see if any of the walls sound more hollow than the others." May interjected. "It's a smart idea. It could reveal a hidden room or passage that isn't visible to the naked eye."
Wanda turned to Harley with a raised brow.
"Hey, can't you scan through walls with your suit? That would make this go a lot faster." She asked sarcastically.
Harley froze and everyone turned to look at him.
"Yeah, that would have made this a lot easier." Coulson said wryly.
"I'll get on it." Harley said sheepishly.
He scanned all the walls around them and eventually started walking in another direction.
"This way. There's a room further this way that I can't see through with the scanner. It seems to be lined with lead, which means x-ray scanners won't do the job. Whatever we need to find must be there." He said.
Everyone quickly followed Harley's lead as he walked down the halls, eventually leading them to where the other group had gathered in front of heavy looking doors. The soldiers that had presumably been standing guard were incapacitated on the floor.
(End of bold/regular text switches)
The entire group was preparing to enter the room they stood in front of. Whatever HYDRA had been working on had to be here. Nowhere else in the building had anything significant and this was the final stop.
The door had a keypad that required a passcode as well as a biometric scan. Of course, they could try using the guards to try to pass the retinal scan but there wasn't any guarantee they had access. Of course, they had to deal with the code as well. Maybe physical force would work.
Tony scanned the door's material and found that it was capable of taking the strongest hit from his and Harley's suit combined.
"All right, does anyone else have any brilliant ideas on how to enter this room?" He asked "I don't have enough firepower for this door."
Coulson turned to Daisy and nodded his head.
"Do your thing." He said.
She rolled her eyes and approached the keypad to the door and forced the device to open, revealing circuit boards and wires.
"What is she doing?" Harley asked in confusion. "I thought she could blast through stuff?"
Daisy took out a small tablet and hooked it to the keypad, quickly typing out code and breaking through the security.
"You're lucky I still carry a tablet, Coulson. We would have been in trouble otherwise."
Tony was impressed and slightly scared of how fast she broke through HYDRA's mainframe of security. He made a mental note to update his security system as well as FRIDAY's firewalls.
After a couple minutes of rapid typing, the door opened with a hiss of cold air.
"Remind me to change all my passwords on my social media." Harley said to his suit's AI.
"All right, lets see what HYDRA has been working on." Coulson announced. "Prepare yourselves for anything."
They walked into the room and immediately, everyone noticed the change of temperature compared to the rest of the base.
FRIDAY informed Tony that it was 10 degrees in the room and understandably, everyone was shivering.
Tony walked a bit further and then stopped suddenly. He felt his blood run colder than the room itself.
Coulson had said to be prepared for anything but he clearly didn't have this in mind of the things he needed to steel himself for.
"Oh my god." Kate whispered. "Is it?"
"Peter?" Harley asked in disbelief.
Tony's son was in the corner of the room, curled up in the fetal position, and unresponsive to the world around him.
"FRIDAY, scan for any vital signs." Tony asked desperately.
"He's got a pulse, but I believe he may be in a comatose state. He is also dehydrated and malnourished."
Coulson's team didn't know who this Peter was, but they knew based on everyone else's reaction that he was someone who had been missing for a long time.
"FitzSimmons, do you read me?" Coulson said into his earpiece.
"Yes sir, what's wrong?" Jemma's voice replied.
"We need you to set up the medbay immediately. Get an IV drip sufficient for dehydration as well as malnutrition." Coulson ordered. "We also need heat lamps, if you got any."
"Right away sir." She replied.
Steve picked Peter up and everyone followed him out of the base, back to safety.
*Time skip to returning to New York*
Morgan had been in the middle of a meeting for student council when her watch buzzed. Although it wasn't unusual for that to happen, this time it was buzzing in a pattern that meant there was an emergency that she could not ignore.
"May I be excused to go to the bathroom?" She asked the teacher, who nodded her approval.
She grabbed the hall pass and made her way to the bathroom and checked to see what the message was.
The message was from Harley and what he had sent broken down the walls of composure she had been building for 6 months.
Morgan, we found Peter. We're almost back to the tower and mom's picking you and Carter up. We'll tell you more when you get here.
She sank to the floor and started to sob.
How was this possible?
Where had he been?
How was he alive?
Was he still alive?
More and more questions ran through her head and she finally calmed down enough to exit the bathroom without looking like she had just had a breakdown. When she walked back into the classroom she was handed a summons to leave early.
She arrived at the attendance office and Carter was already there, waiting for her with Pepper by his side.
They all hugged for a good long while and they all cried a bit before Happy started to drive to the tower to meet up with everyone.
"Mom? Is he alive?" Morgan asked hoarsely.
She was silent for a bit before replying.
"He's alive but he's in a coma of sorts."
"Do we know why?" Carter asked.
"Dad said it was extensive exposure to frigid temperatures and that the spider DNA caused him to hibernate because of it." She answered.
"Do we know when he's supposed to wake up?" Carter questioned.
"I don't know honey." Pepper said honestly. "We have to hope for the best."
Morgan felt her heart sink in her chest as they pulled into the parking garage.
Everyone got out as soon as the car was parked and rushed to the elevator.
"FRIDAY, take us to the medbay where Peter is." Pepper said.
"Right away miss." She replied.
They made it to the medbay in record time and rushed to Peter's bedside, where he was still asleep.
Morgan almost didn't recognize that it was Peter in the bed.
His face was unnaturally pale and gaunt and he had lost weight, his frame looking thinner and weaker because of it. His hair was longer than she had ever seen it before and was tangled in knots. He had multiple bruises scattered around his body that should have been healed.
Tony and Harley walked into the room soon after and Morgan hugged them both extra tightly as she let out months worth of fear and anxiety in the form of tears.
"Shhhh, Maguna, it's ok, he's home." Tony whispered. "Breathe, you have to breathe."
"I thought he was dead." She sobbed into his chest.
"I know, but he's here now, everything's going to be ok." Tony reassured her gently.
Carter and Pepper joined in the hug and they all comforted each other.
Peter was finally home, where he belonged.
And he was about to wake up from his slumber.
"Hello?" a voice said, cracking in the middle of the word. "Where 'm I?"
Harley turned his head towards Peter so fast he almost gave himself whiplash.
"He's awake!" He said.
Everyone let go from the hug to gather around Peter's bed.
"Peter, are you ok? How do you feel?" Carter asked.
Peter turned to look at Carter.
"Who're you?" He asked confusedly.
Peter looked at all the people standing by his bed.
"Who are you guys?" He asked. "What am I doing here?"
Everyone's hearts collectively sank at his question.
Peter didn't remember anyone in this room. He couldn't recall his family. What had HYDRA done to him?
"Peter, we're your family." Morgan explained shakily. "I'm Morgan, your little sister. That's Harley, your brother, Carter, my boyfriend. That's mom and dad over there. Don't you remember at all?"
Morgan's voice broke as she asked him that question.
Peter looked at everyone's faces, one by one, trying his best to remember them but he couldn't. His memories were blank with a capital 'B'.
"Maybe photos or videos might help?" Carter offered weakly.
"FRIDAY pull up video footage from the folder, Family Shenanigans."
FRIDAY displayed footage from the timeframe that the Avengers were playing pool in the rec room.
Tony was on a team with Carter and Harley and Morgan were on the other. Peter and Pepper were watching them play from the side.
"Come on Harley, you can do better than that!" Tony teased as he put chalk on his cue stick. "Morgan's been carrying your team the whole game."
"No way, I've hit at least half of our balls in the pockets!" Harley protested, even though he knew he was spouting bullshit.
"I've done two behind the back shots and made them, how many have you done?" Morgan piped in, absolutely decimating Harley, the Roast King himself.
Everyone burst out laughing at her comeback and Tony immediately fell to the floor from laughter and pounded his fist on the ground.
Morgan had never seen her dad laugh so hard at something, let alone everyone else, including Natasha, who usually never let more than a chuckle out when she found something hilarious.
"WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON ANYWAY?!" Harley yelled at her over all the laughter.
"That's my sister!" Peter said proudly, with tears of laughter in his eyes.
Friday played other videos taken during random moments, as well as displaying photos. Everyone took turns explaining what had happened that day and why it was special. Peter asked questions here and there and everyone answered patiently and with extra detail to help.
Eventually, they had gone through the entire folder and Morgan glanced at Peter to see if there was a flicker of recognition at all.
"Do you remember now?" She asked him softly.
Peter had tears in his eyes as he answered.
"I'm so sorry." He said.
Morgan wanted to scream her heart out. He still didn't remember his family. She didn't know if he ever would.
"I've been gone so long, and HYDRA erased my memories. But you guys were able to find me before they could finish the job for good." He said, finishing what he had wanted to say. "I do remember you guys. I can't believe I ever forgot how much everyone here means to me."
Pepper let out a gasp as she nearly tackled him in a hug. Everyone felt a huge weight lift from their shoulders as Peter laughed weakly at everyone's faces.
"Peter, don't you ever scare us like that again!" Harley scolded with tears running down his face.
"That was a shitty thing to do, seriously." Carter said, annoyed but mostly relieved that Peter was back.
"Peter, never forget how much we love you." Tony said, wiping a tear away from his cheek.
"I can't believe you're back." Morgan said, smiling despite the fact she was still crying a bit.
"I'm here, and I won't be leaving you guys like that again." Peter replied. "I mean, I'm bedridden at the moment anyway."
Everyone groaned at his joke before a group hug formed around Peter.
Everything was as it should always have been.
A/N: Here's a little fun fact about this chapter, the part where Morgan roasts Harley is based on something that happened within my family a couple years ago. In my family's version, I was on a team with my cousin and my dad and another cousin were on the other team. The dialogue is basically word for word what happened. I roasted my cousin, and my everyone started laughing, and my dad literally fell to the floor and was pounding his fist on the ground.
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#marvel#marvel fanfiction#fanfiction#fanfic#peter parker#tony stark#pepper potts#harley keener#morgan stark#trans oc#happy hogan#agents of shield#daisy johnson#phil coulson#melinda may#leo fitz#yo yo rodriguez#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#steve rogers#bucky barnes#bruce banner#jemma simmons#irondad and spiderson#angst#angst with a happy ending
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Christmas Eve - At Peace
That holiday-themed story that I will totally blame @superherotiger for making me procrastinate with ;)
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Just a couple of months after they defeated Thanos, Tony and Pepper throw a Christmas party. Instead of a partying kid, Tony finds his Spiderling outside in the snow at the grave he has been trying to ignore ever exists.
I'm using my own Fix-it to Endgame "Like You'd know how it works" as a basis for the timeline, though the prompt will work fine without having read that story. The important part is, that Tony's not dead.
Baseline: circa 5 months after Tony is brought back from the multiverse.
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The sky above him was clear. No clouds. No moon. Above him only the stars. The stars, he still avoided looking at too much. It made the night a little colder, a little darker despite the white snowy blanket covering the hills and trees.
It wasn't that Tony minded the solitude, quite the opposite. That had been the idea behind moving out to the cabin after all. Peace and quiet. Less exposure. Privacy. But of all the places on their property, why did the kid have to go there?
In all fairness, there was nothing quiet or peaceful about what was going on at Tony's house right now. There were 13 people gathered in his living room and kitchen, one of them a black-eyed alien who didn't quite understand the concept of Christmas but had been positively eager to experience all the "merriment and joy" that the little Madame Secretary had been promising from afar. Leave it to Tony to have to explain a spaceship landing in his backyard on Christmas Eve and talk down an international response.
"Morgan said it's an important gathering that every family member is obligated to attend." Nebula's eyes were on Tony, unblinking. "You should have told me sooner. I could have been here last year and the year before but I didn't know."
"Not to worry, Smurfette." There was a sense of genuine joy at seeing her again, that let the smile on his lips come quite easily. "You're here now, so that's that."
It was a sight to be seen how willingly the blue meanie allowed Morgan to put a party hat on her before she was sent off to mingle with the rest of them, studying the mini hot dogs on her plate. That hadn't been the only surprising sight of the evening though. Tony's jaw had equally popped with stunned surprise as he opened the door to a paler and distinctly shorter human version of Bruce Banner. A face Tony hadn't seen on him in years, as he showed up on his doorstep accompanied by a certain master spy that Tony had frankly not been expecting either.
"Making things work then," Tony mused out loud as he hovered next to them while Pepper fetched a welcoming drink.
Bruce cleared his throat. "Just... you know... happy to... to have her back."
"Of course." His head bobbed a short nod with a sincere smile in Natasha's direction. There was no denying that Tony, too, was glad to have her back. Retired or not, he had no illusions that the Avengers would remain anything but a constant in his life one way or another and while Natasha might never be a definite number on his side, she was an ally. Of sorts.
"Well, it's good to see you guys. I know it's quite a drive out here and we had suspected things might be a little more entertaining at the Compound." His thoughts still trailing a little behind, the words had slipped off his tongue before his brain could catch up with what he was saying. He hadn't meant to just straight up mention the Compound, the rest of the team by extension who hadn't received an invite to this particular gathering.
Pepper had wanted to discuss the guest list more than once. Had asked him repeatedly if he wanted to extend an invitation to the others, the team... but Rogers... Steve... no. Christmas was for family and while Bruce and his plus one did count - because Tony wanted him to count - Steve... Steve was not family. When it came down to it, they were hardly even friends. Natasha's eyes were on him and Tony was painfully aware that he was spacing out. No glasses to hide his face, all of a sudden he felt almost too exposed in his own house.
"Oh, we're just splitting the time equally over the holidays." Natasha smiled brightly. "Christmas Eve with one side of the family and then Christmas Day with the other."
Bruce's face fell a little, looking back and forth between them. "It's not sides as much as... just..."
They were saved from more awkwardness as Pepper arrived with the drinks and ushered them further into the house. Bruce was happy to follow along but Natasha hung back, her eyes still on Tony.
"There don't have to be any sides in this." She linked their arms, pushing Tony along, as Bruce shot a glance back at them, just out of earshot. "You can just decide to let it go, Tony."
"I did." It wasn't all that easy to keep the tone light but he was determined not to let this get to him. "I told him, I moved on from all of this years ago."
"We both know that's not the same as solving the real problem." Her voice was low but not unkind. "We both know you never forgave or forget, that he has never earned back your trust."
It didn't matter. He didn't even want to think about how much of that was or wasn't true. Rogers had no place in his thoughts tonight. So the timing was perfect when his eyes came to rest on a brown-haired boy who was creeping closer and closer to the pot of mulled wine. With a lame excuse, he pulled away from Natasha, away from the world he had officially retired from towards the buffet.
"And what do you think you're doing?"
"Me?" The boy's eyes were wide, the cup in his hand already filled to the brim.
"Listen here, squirrel!" His finger poking against Harley's chest, Tony could at least pretend that this was a situation he could actually control. "You take your grabby hands off that mulled wine or so help me..." He snatched the hot drink out of the boy's hands.
"Oh, come on..." His long lashes were blinking at Tony with feigned innocence. "It's not for me."
"That routine might work on some indifferent cater waiter at those benefits but if you think I can't see past your ridiculously lazy—"
"Yeah, yeah..." Harley just waved him off. "Don't be such a killjoy!"
Tony narrowed his eyes at him. "I mean it!" For good measure, he took a healthy gulp from the cup, positively burning his throat in the process. But it wasn't until Harley threw his hands in the air and turned his back in defeat - for now - that Tony allowed his face to cringe at the sting. Those little trouble makers were not helping with his heart condition. Speaking of trouble... "Where is Peter?"
Harley crossed his arms in front of himself, his mind clearly brooding on a new strategy. "No clue."
Tony's next sip of the hot wine was a lot smoother than the first. "What do you mean, no clue?"
"It generally means that the person doesn't have any information about the subject that you are—"
"Alright, short stuff..." Tony's eyes were searching the room but the little spider was nowhere to be seen. "A bit less of the asshole routine please?"
"Listen, if you want me to babysit, same rules apply as they do for Morgan." Brazen in his brattiness, the little shit ladled a good helping of mulled wine into a new cup. "I'll need a heads-up and generous compensation that I'm happy to re-negoti— Hey!"
Harley tried to hold on to the cup that Tony once again just plucked from his hands. "You've had enough of this!"
"That one is for Rhodey," the boy scowled.
"Uh-huh. Sure. I'll get it to him and you can enjoy your night without any errands, hm?"
Tony made a point to stare at the kid until he huffed and finally skedaddled away from the wine pot, possibly in search of his sister, or maybe more likely trying to stay out of her and Morgan's way. Careful not to spill either of the two cups, Tony made his way across the room towards Rhodey who had brought a "friend", a development Tony had been mindful not to comment on all night.
The Colonel's eyes looked him up and down as he made a beeline towards them. "Because one is never enough with you, is it, Tones?"
"You..." he hissed, his lips pursed. "You better not try to quip with me, you enabler!" Tony pushed the second cup he was holding into Carol Danvers' hands instead of Rhodey's. "Are you seriously letting my boy use you as an exit strategy to score a buzz?"
Rhodey's eyes shifted to the cup in his "friend" Carol's hands before he nipped on what was left in his own cup and then gave a shrug. "Which one?"
"That's not funny!"
With a deep sigh, Rhodey exchanged his empty cup with Carol's hot one. "Tony, you need to lay off the mother-hen vibes. The boy is 21 years old, as for Peter—."
"No, he's not," Tony growled. "Not for another 6 days!"
"Geez, daddy, do I really have to remind you how old you were when I 'enabled'," Rhodey air-quoted, "your ass in college?"
He said it like he had a point when that was exactly what Tony was afraid of. "And how did that turn out?"
His eyebrows pulled up, Rhodey made a gesture like that would somehow prove something, but Tony was not in the mood for semantics. His eyes roamed across the room - pointedly ignoring Harley who tried to usher Nebula closer and closer to the pot of hot wine - in search of the other little trouble maker.
Where was the kid? He hadn't seen him since... since he had ducked away from awkwardly shuffling his feet back and forth between May and Happy. Without another word, Tony strode past his friend, checking the kitchen but there was no Peter in there either. Everyone else was happily chatting, eating, enjoying themselves exactly like they were supposed to. Not so the Spiderling.
For a few more minutes, Tony quietly, discreetly wandered around the house. He had a feeling, a feeling that something was up. It didn't take long for him to give up the pretense and outright mutter to FRIDAY, asking in which room Peter was hiding.
"He's not in the house, boss."
That was how Tony found himself outside, stalking up a snowy hill in the dark. The wind was icy, but it wasn't the cold that made the hair on the back of his neck stand tall. He had avoided this for months. Had avoided even thinking about that spot on the hill where his other-dimensional self had been buried before he ever made it to this timeline. With how loudly his brain was rattling, there was a part of him that couldn't deny that right about now, he appreciated the silence in the dark. They were so far away from what people would call the 'civilized' world out here. Surely, with Peter's senses constantly strained in the city, that was the basic appeal to him as well.
It was also how Peter had heard him coming before Tony even had the chance to call out to him.
"How did you find me?"
A little winded from the slippery ascend to the hilltop, Tony paused a couple of steps behind where the boy was sitting in the snow. "Oh, come on... It's me."
Peter pursed his lips, refusing to turn his head. "So, you questioned every single person at the house about when they had seen me last and then calculated the radius of how far I might have come?"
Tony only blew out a huff.
"Ah," Peter exclaimed and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Tracking me after all, aren't you."
"Well, duh." Slowly, Tony came closer until he sank to the ground right next to the boy. "Not that I needed it. You're a Spiderling, not an Elf, kid."
"Right." Peter grimaced to himself. "Footprints."
"I keep telling you. Gotta learn how to fly."
The smile that tucked on Peter's lips seemed genuine this time. "You didn't have to come out here."
All of a sudden, Tony contemplated that the boy may have picked this particular spot not because of what it meant to him, but because he had been sure that of all the places, few of the people staying at the house that night would voluntarily wander up here. Tony least of all. There was no denying that the kid had picked up on how much this all freaked Tony out, the fact that there was a dead version of himself buried so close to where he still lived. Silence hung heavy between them before Tony's voice echoed a little quieter, a little hesitant.
"I wasn't sure if I should, but..." He swallowed hard. "I can leave if you want to be alone."
There was another pause. Wanting to give him room to speak if that was what he wanted, Tony waited but the kid didn't say a thing.
With a shaky exhale, Tony kept his eyes on him. "But then I thought, I'd rather have you send me back than not be here if... if you would need me."
The kid's eyes were still staring straight ahead at the headstone in front of them.
"I know, I'm not him—"
"Of course you are," Peter breathed quietly.
Tony lowered his gaze, faltering. Maybe. "Not really though."
The kid's lip was caught between his teeth, refusing to look over at him. "In... in every way that matters."
"If you want to talk about it—"
"I don't," Peter mumbled.
It had been weeks after he had come back when Tony's curiosity had won out against his anxiety. Late at night on his own in the basement, he had asked FRIDAY to play him the footage of what had happened that day. That day he had died. Pepper, the kid, Rhodey... seeing their agony in the face of what he had done to protect them... it was a memory he just couldn't shake.
"I know, me being here doesn't change what happened. Kid, I know you were there when he..." Tony glanced to the side, searching the kid's face for a reaction. "...when I died."
Peter's head moved in a mixture of a shake and a shrug. "It... it doesn't matter..." His voice shook, possibly trying to convince himself as much as Tony. "You're back. You're... here. It... it's fine..."
"You're sitting at my grave in the freezing cold in the middle of my Christmas Eve party, buddy."
It was as bluntly as he could put it. He could see no benefit in tiptoeing around the demons the kid was battling.
But Peter shook his head more distinctly this time, still denying him. "It was just because... so many people and my senses, they... I just needed a little quiet to... calm down."
"Right. We have about 60 hectares of land out here and still..." Tony blew out a breath and leaned a little closer to the kid. "Still, this is the spot you picked to go." There was no answer from the Spiderling. "It's okay, if it still hurts, buddy."
The humorless chuckle that bubbled out of the kid didn't make things better for either of them.
"Pete, can you look at me?"
He didn't though. His eyes didn't stray from the inscription on the stone. 'A.E.S. - At peace.' A shudder went through Tony at the thought of how his wife had decided on that particular inscription.
"You're here." Peter's eyes dropped further, away from the stone, down to the snowy ground. "You're okay. It... it shouldn't matter..."
Tony grit his teeth then threw caution to the wind. "It's been 5 years and a little more than 8 months since you dusted in my arms, Pete."
The kid visibly shook next, his hands braced against the cold ground as he finally turned to look at Tony.
"5 years, 8 months, and some odd days." Tony's lower lip was caught between his teeth, his cheeks flushed. The images in his mind were as vivid as they had been on that fateful day on Titan. "You're here now. You're back. You have been back for 6 months and I can still hear your voice in my head pleading how you don't—"
"I'm sorry..." the kid whispered.
Tony huffed out a low chuckle. "Yeah. You said that too."
"I'm sorry that... that you felt responsible," the kid started and Tony had just wanted to protest when the boy stopped him with a wave of his hand. "I am, but it's not the same."
For a brief moment, Tony closed his eyes, trying his best to calm himself and keep the dry bite from his tone. "No. It really isn't the same."
The breath Peter blew out was harsher, angrier. "It's not, because I didn't choose to get dusted," he growled, refusing to look away from Tony now. "I didn't want to die!"
"I know, Pete. I remember." The beat of his heart hurt in his chest. "You think I would have wanted to die?"
Peter shook his head, tearing his gaze away again. "It doesn't matter."
"Kid—"
"Can we just... I don't want to argue about this."
Peter pulled his knees close to his chest and the way his hands were shaking made Tony want to drag him back inside so he could focus on giving him a proper lecture without having to worry about the cold the kid might catch out here.
Instead, he filed that back for later, deep breaths keeping his own frustration in check. "Maybe we do need to argue about this."
"I just want to move on!"
"And I..." Tony couldn't stop his voice from shaking. "...would really appreciate a chance to argue my side here."
"You don't need to argue your side," the kid hissed at him. "It's not you, I'm mad at, okay?"
Tony studied his boy. He was becoming painfully aware, how strung up the kid really was, how agitated. "It's not a choice anyone wants to make, kid. Sometimes, there is just no other way to —"
"There were like 10 people close by who could have done it." Peter shot him an angry glance. "It didn't have to be you! What about Morgan and Pepper, huh? What about—" He shook his head, eyes back on the snow-covered grave. "Captain Danvers. Thor. King T'Challa. The lady with the flying horse. Strange. Rogers. Barnes. Wanda Maximoff. Me." His head spun back towards Tony. "I could have tried."
Tony's stomach turned at the mere thought of that. "Yeah, there's no way in hell, Pete."
"Why not?" Peter's eyes burned with tears. "Why not! I could have taken it!"
"You have no idea if that's true." His heart was racing, his throat dry. "You might have died."
"So it's fine for you to sacrifice yourself on a whim but for me it—"
"Stop!" The way his hand hit the ground didn't have the grand effect he wanted. "That's not how this will work, kid. Ever. I will always try to keep you safe."
"And what about what I want?" Peter spat at him.
Tony shook his head, his eyebrows knitted close, desperately grasping for control. "I'm here now, am I not?"
"Yeah, for now..."
Any frustrated retort that might have been building up on his tongue died instantly as he watched the boy rub a hand across his face, the way his lower lip was quivering.
"Kid... come here..." His agitation evaporated and without another beat of hesitation, Tony pulled him close, his arms tightly wrapped around the boy's small frame. "Shh, it'll... it'll be alright."
There was nothing he could say, nothing he could do that would take away the pain of the days when he had seemed lost forever to the people who loved him most. Just like Tony would never be able to quite shake the deep sense of loss he had carried for years when the kid had been dead and gone.
Peter's hands were clasping the thick fabric of Tony's coat, his face pressed against his chest.
There was nothing he could say, no promises he would make, not the ones the kid wanted to hear right now cause he could never keep any of them. When it came to the kid's safety, his life, he would always put it above his own. No matter how much it might hurt him again, at least the kid would be breathing, would get to live.
"I'm sorry, buddy."
"But... but you're not," he mumbled against Tony's jacket.
He had a hand on the back of the kid's head, holding him tight. "I hate that I hurt you, Pete. I do." He pressed his eyes close, ignoring how the cold was creeping up from underneath him. "But I'll never apologize for trying to keep you safe." The boy shook in his arms, but Tony didn't let him pull away. "I sure as hell won't apologize for succeeding." There was a low tremor in the kid's body that was definitely more than emotions. "You're shaking, buddy. Let's get you back inside."
"I'm not c-cold," Peter hiccoughed.
"Alright, then..." Tony ruffled a hand through the boy's hair, his own digits frozen stiff. "Well, I'm going to get pneumonia and you seem to be very invested in—" He groaned as Peter slapped a hand against his chest.
"It's not f-funny!"
"No, at my age it really isn't something—"
This time, he caught the kid's hand just in time to soften the blow. In the process, Peter sat up straight enough for Tony to squint at his red-rimmed eyes.
"In there, you could watch me bust Harley for sneaking around the mulled wine?" There was a sparkle in the kid's eyes at that. A real sparkle he couldn't quite hide. "Ha! Knew I'd get you with that one."
Peter moved back a bit, shaky fingers rubbing his face. Squinting at the boy, Tony was weighing his words, wondering how many hornet's nest he should be poking at.
"You should get over this, buddy." Tony cringed at the look of utter discomfort on his boy's face. "I mean it. That little power struggle the two of you are going through..?"
"There's no power struggle."
Tony crocked his head at him. "You know what I mean... Kid, I know you want to keep your secrets but Harley can be a great ally to you."
"Right," Peter mumbled. "Can we just like... do this another time?"
He nodded before the kid had even finished the sentence. "Course, buddy." For a moment, Tony held in, his focus never anywhere else but Peter, as he tried to control the tremor in his voice. "So, we should get back inside, right?"
"Yeah. Right." The kid leaned back against him, his voice muffled. "Just... just a couple more minutes?"
Tony swallowed hard, nodding soundlessly. He'd never refuse the kid. Never. How could he ever?
###
Merry Christmas and happy holidays wherever and however you guys are celebrating!
Thank you for reading. And thank you even more if you take the time to let me know in the comments what you think about the story and reblog it!
This story is part of my Post-Endgame timeline. More about my Endgame Fix-it and the connected series of stories: “Like You’d Know How It Works” timeline
#tony stark#tony stark lives#IRON DAD AND SPIDER SON#iron dad#iron dad fanfiction#nebula#natasha x bruce#christmas#christmas eve#merry christmas#holiday themed#peter parker fic#peter parker#post-endgame#LYKHIW-timeline
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Chapter 8: Family Troubles
Synopsis: When two beasts appear in Seoul, destroying buildings and businesses, it might just teach your mystery-solving group a thing or two about relationships, both friendly and family ones.
Series Masterlist
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“I must say Mayor Lee, it was a great idea to open a Tiki Place here in Seoul.” Chief Kim commented while sipping on the drink held in his hand.
“Anything for Seoul, and I also applaud you for keeping Seoul criminal free.”
The two men brought their glasses together in a celebratory manner; they sat back comfortably in their seats as they applauded the singer who was on stage performing.
“Thank you everyone for coming tonight, I hope you all had fun.” The female singer bowed down slightly, and a shriek escaped from the guests. She turned and met a giant furry body. The green giant hurled a table to the roof of the restaurant, and proceeded to destroy the surrounding places like the tables and stage.
“Just wonderful.”
-------
“Uh...did I do something wrong?” Heeseung peered through the mirror at the friends who were caught up in avoiding each other's glares.
“Jungwon is upset because Sunoo and Niki went to see a movie without him. Then, Jay and y/n got into a fight last night.” Sunghoon summarized it lighty and yes he was right.
Let’s start with the younger trio shall we. Niki, who had recently moved and joined their friend group, had been warmly welcomed by the duo Sunoo and Jungwon, two tight knit members who were pulled into mysteries by their older friends in middle school. It just so happened that Niki who was the youngest, became so loved by both Jungwon and Sunoo, as well as everyone else. Jungwon was just upset that they couldn’t hang out the three of them instead of choosing partners in their new friend trio.
Now as for you and Jay, that's a lot messier. It all started with your parents coming into the living room and telling Jay that he was prohibited from solving mysteries which to him was unfair considering his twin sister, aka you, were allowed to. Which ended in a battle of jealousy and reliving past trauma.
“Well, maybe a mystery will cheer us up. There was an attack at the Tiki restaurant last night.” Heeseung pulled over, and parked the van near the now shredded sight. An awkward pause settled in and it remained when Sunghoon, Jake, and Heeseung were left staring at their other five friends who kept looking at each other.
Eventually, they got off the van as well. They split, searching for clues and witnessing a man in a blue suit who appeared to be the owner of the construction place.
“Been earning good money I tell you. Sham’s Construction is gonna have to thank these beasts.” The man cackled and introduced himself as Mr.Sham to you.
“At least we know someone is happy.” You whispered sarcastically into Jake’s ear. You went off with Jake, and kept taking photographs of the site, trying to find inconsistencies.
“Chief Kim, do you know what happened?”
“This green giant, who I have decided to call a Humungonaut, came and destroyed the place. You should have seen the damn beast. Powerful.”
“At least there’s only one of them.” Ah, yes, bad luck was definitely in your favor today, seeing as a red colored beast surged from the hair salon on the other block. It picked up a car and flinged it towards the site of rubble from the Tiki place.
“Nice going Jay.”
“Me? Please, save your breath will you sissy.”
“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t know I wasn’t worthy of being in the same area of the great mighty Jay Park.”
“That’s enough of the both of you.” Sunghoon gave you two a stern look before forcing you into the opposite directions.
“We need to focus on the task here. Be mindful of others guys.” Sunoo tried convincing his friends before Jungwon came up with his own thoughts.
“Now you want to be mindful of others? Must have been good thinking considering you didn’t bother to invite me to your little hangout huh!” Now it was the trio’s turn to start bickering which led to Heeseung dragging them down to his home.
-------
“We need an intervention. We’re not gonna get anywhere if they keep fighting.” Jake sat on the chair with his head resting on the table, before an idea came into his head.
“How about we do an intervention?”
“Like therapy?” The ring of the doorbell intervened in their conversation and Heeseung happily opened the door for Chief Kim who appeared alongside materials for a BBQ.
“I knew we’d need help so I called Chief Kim.”
Clearly, Heeseung was not accurate in seeking the help of Chief Kim, seeing as his only response and solution to your friend issues was, “Maybe you should leave town and go your own ways.”
“The problem here is Sunoo! How dare you hang out with Niki without me!?”
“Because you don’t like horror movies!”
“The real problem here is spelled J-A-Y P-A-R-K who clearly doesn’t believe in his sister!”
“Not everything is about you y/n!”
Another fight broke out in their session which left Heeseung to drop a giant box onto the table to cut their unfriendly conversation.
“How about we use this pent up anger on I don’t know catching two monsters,” he opened the box and gave each member a suit, “this is our new uniform. Hurry before I grab each of you by the ear.”
All of you looked at the uniforms, a dissatisfaction growing on your faces. The white tracksuits were clearly not what you imagined to be Heeseung’s quick solution to your problems .
You arrived at another place that had been attacked, and while all of you appreciated and loved Heeseung with your full hearts, you weren’t a fan of the uniforms. In fact, the moment the team arrived, you all lowered your heads while you investigated the scene.
“Tsk, look who’s here.” Sunghoon nudged you with his elbow and you looked at Mr.Sham who arrived with a giant truck carrying away the rubble that remained.
------
Two signs hung on the side of the road: Bobby Minner Insurance, and right next to it Robby Minner Insurance.
“Is trespassing a construction site really the only answer?” Heeseung ignored Sunoo’s worries and used his bolt cutters to lift the lock up.
“Hurry before we get caught.” All of you split into teams, different ones of course. Your petty fights resulted in avoiding each other at all costs.
Without a warning, one of the beasts appeared once more and Mr.Sham was seen running away from his office building as he managed to escape the explosives that were set from afar.
All of you made your walks in a zigzag pattern, and crashed onto the side of the road with Mr.Sham falling afterwards with you.
“Guess Mr.Sham isn’t the humungonaut.” Jay let out an awkward chuckle before Mr.Sham turned his head to glare at him, but later joined in witnessing how his business had been consumed in flames.
-------
“Looking for insurance? Well, Bobby Minner is the best place to be..” The ad played in the background before a defeated sigh left the mouth of the teen’s in the van.
“This leaves us back at zero.” They crossed their arms and bolted up when the radio began to play a static sound and a voice was heard on the radio.
“Why..hello Mystery Co…” It was JK.
“Since you guys seem to have some hard time figuring this out, let me give you a riddle. Open your ears, and you’ll head the answer. Open your eyes, and pay attention to the signs. The solution will be ensured. Later kids.”
The static once more took over, and the original sound of the radio played again, “Robby Minner’s insurance is the way to go.”
“You know, it would be nice if he just told us the clues straightforwardly.” Niki commented as he rested his head on the seat.
-------
“Dad, come on, this humungonaut is a threat.” Heeseung argued with his father and Chief Kim, who honestly speaking, could care less about his worries.
“We will do something. Chief.” Chief Kim strolled over to the center of the room, setting up his presentation with a portrait.
“Your solution is a bowl of salad?” Sunoo asked sarcastically while staring at the misdrawn image in front of him.
“No! We’re planning to host a humungonaut event: people pay to see them destroy things. Perfect business.”
Clearly, the money and tourism seemed to be the priority.
“This is the best idea, people pay money to see the monster get caught in our trap.” A shocked expression fell upon Heeseung’s face before he slammed his hands on his father’s desk.
“A trap! You’re building a trap without me!? My own father!?” He slightly quivered his lips before hanging his head low as he exited the room. Poor boy had just been heartbroken.
“You’ll get over it,” Mayor Lee stopped mid-way as he finally took in the uniforms on your bodies, “Are you guys going to a costume party?”
Just when it was time for you to leave, all of you responded with a hard “no,” not bothering to explain that it was Heeseung’s idea too.
“That sucks, because you look ridiculous.”
-------
“They’re so stupid, they’re clearly amateurs.” Jake and Sunghoon turned their heads from the computer screen and looked at their oldest friend who was busy using his binoculars to observe the traps set in the stadium.
“GO RED!” “GO GREEN!” In the meantime, Jungwon and Sunoo began swinging at each other with their foam fingers, hurting their other friend Niki in the process.
“Anyway, what have you managed to find?” Both you and Jay looked at the duo who seemed puzzled at the sight and map on their screen.
“Hmm...there’s no clear pattern, but they only attack certain sites and businesses. This humungonaut really is confusing.” Jake responded, slightly leaning towards you.
“It’s even more confusing than JK’s riddles.” Jungwon commented, which left Jake to enter into an aha moment.
“You’re a genius Jungwon. Come on, the humungonaut won’t be here.” Jake took your hand and helped you out of the seats as the other followed behind, leading you to the final destination for these humungonauts.
-------
“Got the plan? When the humungonauts appear, you use the pulley to get them, got it?” The younger trio nodded their heads and took their positions.
It wasn’t long before the humungonauts appeared at the boat warehouse: a place where Jake had led all of you as well.
When the two beats caught sight of each other, they immediately grabbed each other by the necks. Their large size caused the floor under you to shake violently, and they broke through a couple boats before finally rolling into the small pool of water inside a building.
“Pull!” The net pulled them upward and the two beats collapsed tiredly onto each other in the buddle of the net.
“It worked?” Sunghoon was surprised that his trap worked so efficiently the first time given their long history.
“Good thing those tickets were non-refundable.” Mayor Lee and Chief Kim came walking towards them and were startled by the beasts.
“Your trap actually worked?”
“Hey, don’t act too surprised.” Heeseung crossed his arms and saw as Jake pulled a staircase towards the two giants.
“Hello creatures, I would like to welcome you to our humble earth planet.” Chief Kim began his long-winded speech before Jake finally managed to reach the top.
“Sorry to disappoint Chief Kim, but these are no monsters at all. It’s Robby and Bobby Minner.” He pulled on the masks and the Minner twins were right underneath.
“But how did you know Jake?”
“Remember JK’s riddle, I just had to place these businesses under each of their insurances.” The rest of you looked confused, and settled your sights on the brothers who were peaking through the mesh.
“That’s right. Our rivalry began since our circus days as strong men. We were always a duo, but one day he just left the team and joined a rival circus. Who would have known we would join the insurance business? We used the costumes to destroy each other’s business and get revenge.” Robby Minner gave a pause before his brother looked at him, “and we would have would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for my meddling brother!” The twins yelled the phrase at the same time before fighting with each other again. Chief Kim and others had arrived to take them away.
“Guys, that was great team work!” Heeseung exclaimed happily before you all looked at each other.
“Sunoo, we’re sorry we didn’t invite you. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“I’m sorry too.” Sunoo and Jungwon joined each other into a hug before welcoming Niki to join.
You sighed and looked at Jay.
“I’m sorry for hurting you. Seeing those twins really made me think that I don’t want to hate or resent you in a few years. Sometimes I get jealous of how perfect you are, but it doesn’t give me a right to be mean with you.”
“No, I’m also sorry. Truth is, I’m jealous that mom and dad give you so much freedom, and you still do well in school. I guess the stress got to me, and I’m sorry for putting you in a situation like that.” Now it was your turn to give Jay a hug.
“I’m so glad this is settled, see? All we need is our strong bond.” Heeseung smiled warmly at his friends before Sunghoon lifted one of his eyebrows.
“Does this mean we also don’t need uniforms?”
“I guess not.” Heeseung did not even complete his sentence before seeing as his friends took off the tracksuits and tossed them into the van.
“We love you Heeseung, but maybe we should just keep the name of Mystery Co.” You comforted him and all of you took a seat by the deck. The stars glistened in the dark, and it left you to enjoy the peaceful moment with the people you loved the most.
--------
Next- Chapter 9: Vampires and Prison Visits
Tag List: @softkons @nikisboxysmile
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#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#heeseung#heeseung imagines#jake imagines#jungwon#niki#sunghoon#jay#enhypen jake#enhypen jay
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sorry this is late babes ! i got busier than i thought i was going to so without further ado i’ll put the cliff notes version of sy shelby’s starling existence under the cut and you know what to do from there ! 🖤 but if you’re gonna slide into my dms do it on scarlet bc that’s where i am on mobile !
jack gilinsky. cismale. he/his. / josiah shelby just pulled up blasting st tropez by post malone — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty - four year old center fielder for the los angeles dodgers, i’ve heard they’re really -abrasive, but that they make up for it by being so +audacious. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say the creak of a well - worn leather glove, shotgunning another cheap beer just to feel alive, and the taste of copper on your tongue. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble !
. ⊹ ┈ › 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒 .
NAME : josiah david shelby .
BREAKDOWN : josiah ( god supports , heals ) david ( beloved )
NICKNAMES : sy , jd , josie ( finn only tbh ) , shelbz , shel-bay , bay .
AGE : twenty - four .
BIRTHDAY : november twenty - third .
ZODIAC : scorpio & sagittarius cusp .
GENDER : male .
PRONOUNS : he / him .
NATIONALITY : american .
ETHNICITY : english , french , italian .
HOGWARTS HOUSE : hufflepuff .
MBTI : estp ��( the persuader )
INSPIRATIONS : lucas scott ( one tree hill ) , adam parrish ( the raven cycle ) , nick miller ( new girl ) , ron swanson and andy dwyer ( parks & rec ) , adam groff ( sex education ) .
HOBBIES / SPECIAL SKILLS : baseball , procrastination , midnight snacks , getting the last word , saucy brow lifts , sleeping in , running away from his problems , hitting first and asking questions later , developing newer and more creative defense mechanisms .
VICES ; acerbic , brash , careless , cataclysmic , defiant , duplicitous , destructive , greedy , ignorant , meddlesome , narcissistic , obnoxious , provocative , reckless , selfish , troublesome , vain , volatile , wanton .
VIRTUES : athletic , challenging , charismatic , curious , debonair , forthright , fun - loving , intrepid , invulnerable , jocular , loves his sister so much he could die , loyal , passionate , playful , protective , witty .
PINTEREST : xx
˚ . ⊹ ┈ › 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 .
sy was born poorer than poor and spent his formative years watching his grandmother do her very best to keep the dust from coating everything in their ramshackle little trailer in oklahoma .
his mother wasn’t around much . after running away to chase after one band or another and coming home with her waistline significantly thickened , she didn’t much take to motherhood , not when running off to the nearest dive bar or casino to spend whatever meager paycheck she could scrounge up was just so tempting .
in fact , sy’s memories of her are often fleeting . she was a whirlwind of a woman , beautiful despite the hard life she led , but in and out the door too fast for him to ever really get to know her . and after some of his grandmother’s jewelry ended up in the pawn shop twenty miles up the road she didn’t come around the house anymore when she found the locks changed .
sy’s grandmother , affectionately known as nan , did her best to raise her grandson better than she had raised her daughter . though truth be told , the practice wasn’t much different , his mother had just been a bit of a bad seed .
religion and discipline were a staple and so every sunday found the pair walking to the church in their parish to give thanks and receive the blessing , a tradition that sy hasn’t kept up with since her death but i’m getting ahead of myself .
his nan made a modest living for where they lived , she wasn’t spoiling the boy but it was enough to put food on the table and get them to and from where they needed to go .
he had a few close friends in the neighborhood and they usually got together in the evenings to play whatever games they could , sometimes soccer with a ball that looked like you could put your foot through it , or basketball on the single hoop with no net that was somehow still standing in the local “ park ” . summers were spent walking down to the pond that passed for a swimming hole to get some sort of relief from the heat .
he picked up a job at one of the local motor shops to help with the bills , though his nan insisted he spend his time working on his schoolwork first . he’d still slip a portion of what he came home with into her purse when she wasn’t looking .
he played sports in school , their community doing what they could to scrounge up funds for a ramshackle team for each sport . he primarily ran track and cross country ( in a uniform that looked like it was straight out of an 80′s movie and felt like it too ) . he was a decent hurdler and the fact that he usually walked everywhere he needed to get gave his stamina a certain edge on the kids who were better off . but his true passion was baseball . sy could write poetry about the diamond , and most of the assignments he managed to turn in involved the sport somehow . ( he almost got caught cheating once when he turned in a paper that wasn’t about it but he’s always been lucky af )
their school team wasn’t anything special . they played with heart and had fun doing it but they were never going to make it to state with nothing short of a miracle even though it was clear sy ( and a couple of his buddies ) had the potential to be more than just has - beens who got stuck living in their hometown for the rest of their lives . during sy’s eighth grade year , his junior high team made a pretty valiant push and made it to the regional championship but they were simply out - spent by some of the other teams and came home disappointed .
someone must have recognized sy though , because a few weeks later a letter arrived from one of the elite baseball camps in the country stating that he had been sponsored to attend for the summer . his friends were excited for him and it was probably the best summer of his life , but tensions rapidly grew sour when he returned home , after all , none of them had been granted such an opportunity and they wondered what made him so special where they weren’t .
it certainly didn’t help that he got home and noticed their trailer was a little refurbished , they had a new ( ish ) television and a cable antenna on the roof without the pieces of foil sy had stuck to it at an attempt for better service . and then little gifts started to arrive here and there , new cleats , a better glove , all things with the sheen of wealth attached to them and all in the name of this new sponsor he seemed to have attracted . it didn’t go over well with his friends and he could see the jealous glint in their eyes which led sy to hide away the new treasures , or take them out back and absolutely destroy that gleam that came with new gear .
high school was not a time he wanted to spend ostracized , especially when everyone in town always looked back on it like it was the golden time of their youth before they settled down into the daily grind of adulthood . he was nothing short of angry and miserable , his loneliness that festered into rage finding a nice outlet in smashing his fists into the noses of whoever crossed his path or looked at him wrong .
it was around that time that a girl showed up on his doorstep , all knees and elbows and with a big smile insisting she was his sister . judging from the own sparkly state of her attire , sy managed to put two and two together as to just who his new sponsor was and promptly shut the door in her face . ( the fact that his mother had suddenly come out of the woodwork and ran into him around town on occasion to ask for money was another clue . she could sniff out money anywhere )
finnley buchanan was a revelation to him . persistent to the extent of climbing in through his window to press her point home until sy was forced to accept that this nonsense story she was spinning about his father and her mother had a certain ring of truth to it . he didn’t want a new family , he was content in his small town with his nan and his friends and everything would go back to normal just as soon as he tossed all his shiny new stuff in the trash .
his nan wasn’t having it , plain and simple . she wasn’t going to force him to reconcile with a father he had never known , but she certainly wasn’t going to allow him to pass up an opportunity to get out of their tiny little town . and so sy kept going to those baseball camps every year , and after keeping in touch with his new sister to a point where he was forced to accept the unlimited texting plan she forced upon him just so his nan would stop good naturedly grumbling about the amount of time he spent tying up their landline .
he’d spend a few weeks a year with her family , a holiday here and there , his eyes almost falling out of his eyes the first time he walked into a house with an honest to god foyer . he didn’t exactly see eye to eye with his new - found father and step mother and they didn’t seem to want to get to know him much beyond tossing money at a problem to solve it ( not that he allowed them to really know him )
he didn’t even accept their money for college , stubbornly insisting on getting in on his own merit . and thus shipped himself of to north carolina upon accepting a scholarship . the guitar skills he’d picked up in his lazy weeks spent with the buchanans and his classic good looks made him immensely popular which didn’t bode well for the state of his ego as we know it . between classes he managed to further perfect the art of binge drinking and beer pong and with his scholarship only covering tuition and board , he found himself employing his fists at night to earn some cash for incidentals . something that very nearly got him kicked out of school when he showed up to practice with a split lip and bruised knuckles a few times too many .
but luck was on his side and he was drafted after his sophomore year before they could start a more thorough investigation into his extra - extra - curriculars .
sy spent about a year working his way around the farm system of the minors while they tried to refine his issues before getting called up to play for the baltimore orioles . he played for them for about a year but after a run - in with one of the batting coaches that was rather hush hush he was unceremoniously traded to the los angeles dodgers .
˚ . ⊹ ┈ › 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 .
being a cusp baby, he kind of bounces back and forth between his moods . most of the time he’s all jokes and sarcasm . but catch him at the right time and he can be broody AF .
he is a lot smarter than he looks , but that’s an incredibly well kept secret because on the outside he is a Professional Idiot.
makes the worst decisions i have ever seen anyone make ever . highly impulsive and should never be allowed to give someone any sort of advice .
unless you’re asking what to put in your solo cup or if you’re craving a midnight snack . then he is 10 / 10 your guy .
he is incredibly loyal , so long as it serves his purpose . because at the end of the day he’s still an impulsive idiot and that devil on his shoulder made the angel tap out years ago .
bought his nan a new house with his signing bonus and sent her money to take care of her with what he had but since her death he’s doing his best to spend it on the dumbest shit possible and acting out in one way or another because he’s still a child .
tldr : he’s a piece of shit
˚ . ⊹ ┈ › 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 .
just going to add a little disclaimer that i am the biggest hoe for anything angsty and painful . i also love love love when people slide into my dms with a hc or two .
𝐞𝐱 - 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 ; for whatever reason there was a huge falling out and now things are just super awkward . half the time at parties they’re just on opposite sides of the room mean mugging each other until booze and tempers flare .
𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 ; these two were never supposed to be a thing . in fact , before this past summer they hardly ever spoke and when they did the discourse wasn’t exactly pleasant . but there’s a fine line between love and hate and all it took was a couple of drinks before the dynamic took a turn .
𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐬 ; i’d sell my soul for something that’s just angsty and messy . maybe they were at the point of saying the l word .
𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ; all that sneaking around , taking the back doors in and out of places . meeting up in darkened corners 👌 👌 👌 that’s that shit i do like
𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 ; i’m such a sucker for a good bromance or two where the gc is just filled with memes and dragging each other up and down the wall . but at the end of the day they’re you’re boys and no one else can talk shit about them but you
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐬 ; a fwb here and there , the odd one night stand , someone who you just look at and want to punch them in the face for some inexplicable reason , an unrequited crush ( on either side )
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OJ: God’s Right Here
Aura Zurie had found out years ago during her childhood that she was not all cell but only half. If being treated like crap by the entire city of Frank wasn’t bad enough, the virus, Thrax, whom she once called friend betrayed and stabbed her in the back (in more ways than one). After losing so much and being used by those she trusted, she had become officially devoid of all emotion and decided never to trust or let anyone inside ever again. The return of Thrax may change that when they are paired off to hunt down the resurrected mob boss, Scabies, who has kidnapped Ozzy and Drix and will only release them if they hand over a recently acquired rare artifact. But soon everyone (including Thrax) will realize the huge mistake they have made when messing with the wrong girl.
One-Shot Parody
Warning: Violence, gore, language, psychological humor
Words: 6,216
Aura, Meth, & Opius girls belongs to me
Staphylococcus Aureus borrowed from a real bacterium.
It was a dark time in the City of Frank. The Chief of Frank Police had just recently assigned a case to Osmosis Jones, Drix, and (recently hired) Thrax. The case followed the inconspicuous murder of Leah Estrogen from only a day ago. Apparently, she was killed in her sleep with no visible signs of a struggle and then her corpse was hung upside down from Ozzy’s apartment door with a message from (horrifyingly enough) the late mob boss Scabies. This gave an indication that somehow, he was still alive (even though Thrax had turned him into a pile of goop). The team had split up to find clues and came across one at the memory banks archive in ancient text about a gem that revives the dead. Ozzy and Drix went to go find it only to suddenly get kidnapped by unknown assailants. Thrax was then left a note by Scabies that if he wanted his teammates alive, he would find the item in question and bring it to them. Knowing he had little to no intel on ancient artifacts or spells and apparently had no other options, he sought out some help from his fellow coworkers. They suggested he talk to Aura Zurie since she was one of the few citizens who dabbled in that department given her “recently discovered” heritage. Thrax found this to not only a big help but also a chance to get close to her. Although she grieved for the loss of her foster mother, Leah, certain circumstances would have Thrax find that Aura would be less than willing to help him.
Thrax: (eagerly catches up to Aura as she walked down the street) Hey, baby, wait up!!
Aura: (continues walking on, stubbornly) I have nothing to say to you.
Thrax: (tries to play it cool in attempts to charm her) Aw come on, baby. I thought it would a nice opportunity to reconnect… (whispers in her ear) especially given our “special” history together.
Aura: (stops dead in her tracks before turning around facing him, angrily stating) First of all, as far as I’m concerned, we have no history. Secondly, I know why you came breezing down my path and I’m not pulling the pin on that grenade. I made the mistake of trusting you once all those years ago. And in return, it destroyed what was left of the innocence that was my life. I’ll be damned if I get involved with you and make the same mistake again (turns her back to him and proceeds to continue walking on)
Thrax: (feels guilty, knowing she was right but decides to play on her insecurities as a last resort, sighing) Well, I guess I can’t fault you there. I don’t blame you for not wanting to help. But even if you don’t, just know…it’s not your fault.
Aura: (halts with wide eyes upon hearing those words, flashes back to her mother on her deathbed when she was a child uttering those same words)
-FLASHBACK-
*Lisa: (sick in bed, barely stable) I’m afraid I don’t have the strength to go on any further. I’m sorry, Aura. I’m going to leave you all alone.
*Aura: (tearfully holds her mother’s hand) Please don’t go, Mommy
*Lisa: (weakly smiles while cupping little Aura’s cheek, wiping her tears away) Don’t cry, sweetie. I know it’s hard, but you must be strong and endure. I just wish your father could have been here with us (coughs) but know that he did love you very much. I love you, Aura. If things were different back then, we could have become a happy family. Even though my life was turned upside down, I don’t regret having you for a daughter. Just know, this is not your fault (utters before her hand falls from Aura, dying peacefully)
*Aura: (tears fall as she screams agony)
-END OF FLASHBACK-
Aura: (hears the words “Your fault” torment her mind over and over until her mental barrier suddenly breaks down from the inflicted guilt, shouting painfully while barely keeping her composure) WHAT’S WRONG, THRAX!?
Thrax: (surprised he got through to her and gave her the details [unfortunately more details than necessary for dick-move torment]) Well, I suppose it all started when I was born, my mother…
Aura: (facepalms her eyes before pulling the metaphorical pin off the grenade in her mind, groaning) Uuuuuuuuuugh….
Knowing this would take long, they stopped a nearby pub where Thrax continued the conversation for several hours until finally getting the main point for why he sought her out in the first place. He explained how Jones and Drix had disappeared and somehow Scabies was alive demanding for the artifact they were previously looking for in order to bring Leah back. Aura’s brain was about ready to implode from all the mental torture.
Thrax: (continues) …and then that old fart of a germ left this note stating where he was and that he had Jones and the cold pill. And unless the gem is given to the old codger, they can kiss their asses goodbye. And, well…you know the rest, baby.
Aura: (bangs her head on the table repeatedly from the long conversation until Thrax finishes, vents her frustration) GOD, DO I EVER!!! I CAN NEVER UN-KNOW!!! These nuclei receivers could have been used to formulate the perfect strategy in solving this case! Instead, they’ve memorized the different types and amounts of beatings you used to receive since you were four!!!
Thrax: (makes a callous reference) Yeah, much like you, my mother was one emotionally unstable bitch
Aura: (retorts sarcastically) Yeah, I know. And it’s because of that shit to this day, you are still a continuously blunt, all-around, never-ending ASSHOLE!!! (calms down after getting it all out of her system, sighs) Look, if I tell what you need to know about your stupid rock, will you leave me alone?
Thrax: (corrects her) Gem.
Aura: (annoyed) Honey, no language on Earth has a word for how little I care. A quantum super-computer calculating for a thousand years could not even approach the numbers FUCKS I do not give. The friggin’ heat death of the universe could not-
Thrax: Baby, are you going to tell me or not?
Aura: Eh, sure. Whatever. Allegedly, the once lush garden of Frank that was closed off (due to the strange death tolls) was turned into a restricted grave site called “The Valley of Remembrance”. At its center is a jeweled staff known as the Archangel’s Beacon which can pin-point the exact location of the Revival Gem.
Thrax: (mildly happy to hear this news) Seriously, then let’s go get it right now!
Aura: (halts him) Upbupbup, cool your jets, Hot-Shot. There’s more to it than that. For one thing, the gem can easily work on viruses at any time of death, within 15 years for germs and bacteria, but won’t work for cells 3 days after death. And seeing as how a day and a half has gone by already, not to mention you just spent the last 7 HOURS making me consider the pros and cons of a lobotomy via soup spoon, I’d say you got your work cut out for ya.
Thrax: (shocked by this news, eager to get going with only one day left) Oh boy! Well, let’s get going. We’ve got no time to lose (cups his hands around hers)
Aura: (brow twitches before giving her answer) Yeah, about that…
Aura was suddenly outside the pub walking through the crowd of cells out at night, minding their own business. Thrax trudged alongside her confused by the answer she gave him.
Thrax: (hysterically states his predicament) What do you mean you’re not going?! This is completely different from my life on the run trying set a record and getting into the medical books. I don’t know the unknown territories of this body like you do nor what dangers to expect from any of this. I could die on my own!
Aura: I believe I made myself clear about my number of FUCKS and willingness to give them.
Scabies: (pops out of nowhere looking worse for wear in many ways) Ebola Boy? Oh my god, how are you? I believe the last time we met was….oh yeah! When you sliced me up and painted the steam room floor with my carcass
Thrax: (expresses rather irritably, but restrains himself not wanting lose it and kill the only suspect they had in this case, grunting) Fiiine…
Scabies: (mockingly) And where’s the old crew? Haven’t seen them for quite some time
Thrax: They’re dead. Much like how you’ll be again if you don’t beat it.
Scabies: (feigns caring nature) Aww, ain’t that a pity? You at least make some good trophies out of em’?
Thrax: (disgusted) AW HELL NO!! I may be one sick sadistic motherfucker but I ain’t that sick, old man!
Scabies: Ah, such a waste…
Aura: (callously adds on) He’s right you know. Keeping specific remains of your enemies can make for some pretty-sick trophies.
Thrax: (annoyed) Okay, seriously, Aura!? That’s not funny. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a gem to find, two idiots to save, and a dead broad to revive.
Scabies: (looks to Aura scanning over with familiarity) Oh, Aura is it? You his new girl? Well, ain’t you a saucer of cream! It’s so nice to see that even the legendary Ebola-knockoff found someone on his level.
Thrax: (growls at the remark and how he was looking at Aura)
Aura: (laughs casually before eyes widen, clearly insulted) Ehehehe…What?
Scabies: Oh no, it’s cute. I just love the whole “tough-girl” persona ya got goin’ on here. Very convincing. Well, don’t wanna take up any more your time. Sure you sweet kids got a lot to do. I’m sure you’ll have no problem clearing “The Valley of Remembrance”.
Thrax: (attempts to speak for Aura) Actually, Aura just made it clear that she’s not-
Aura: (slightly deranged) Come on, Thrax. We got two idiots and a broad to save (starts walking past Scabies)
Thrax: (walks beside her rather delighted) So, you’re actually gonna help now? Well alright! Operation: Damage Control is a go (places his arm around her)
Aura: (firmly) Don’t touch me
Thrax: Still not there yet?
Aura: Not even close.
Scabies: (smiles wryly)
Thrax and Aura had stopped at a nearby inn for the night in order to get an early start on their mission for the Revival Gem. However, some would come to find it difficult to sleep that night. By morning, they had left the inn and made their way to the Valley of Remembrance where Thrax burned off seal to the gate to save time. Aura lead the way through the silent yet beautiful gardens and enchanted glades. It was all lovely but had an eeriness to it considering there was not one living thing around thus hinting to the term “silent as the grave”.
Aura: (calmly yet alert) Keep your eyes and ears open for anything. There’s no telling what might be lurking around.
Thrax: (smugly) Please. There ain’t nothin’ Big Daddy Thrax can’t handle.
Aura: (rolls her eyes, grunts) Uuugh
Thrax walked on casually next to Aura. He figured this would be a good opportunity to try to get close to her. But given the atmosphere, he wasn’t entirely sure how to break the ice nor certain if she even wanted to talk. Aura was unsure of a couple things too but figured she’d ask just to be sure.
Aura: (chuckles awkwardly) Hey, uh, random question. Uh, you didn’t hear anything…weird last night…Did you?
Thrax: (ponders back to last night) Uuuuuh….
-FLASHBACK-
*Aura: (cries loudly through the wall) Momma Lisa!!! (cries more) Oh god, why couldn’t I save you?! Why?! Momma! MOMMA!!! (cries even more)
*Thrax: (hears her sorrowful wails in confusion unable to sleep)
-END OF FLASHBACK-
Thrax: (slightly goes bright crimson, goes into immediate denial not wanting to say the wrong thing) Uh, no. Definitly not. I’m like a super heavy sleeper, so… (walks on)
Aura: (laughs nervously) Good, good (clears throat) Yeah, sleep is…sleep is good (continues walking)
Thrax: (comes to her, curiously) Sooooooo…Who’s Momma Lisa?
Aura: (snaps) I KNEW IT!!!
At the same time of her outburst, random vines sudden bursts out from bushes and quickly wrapped around Thrax’s ankles, lifting him straight off the ground. The vines revealed to belong to a giant Audrey II-like plant monster that became attracted to closest heat source. It opened its trap preparing to devour Thrax.
Aura: (slightly giggles at Thrax’s awkward predicament)
Thrax: (screams at the sudden lift coming face-to-face with the monster, embarrassment sets in as this was happening in front of Aura of all people) AAAAAAAAAAHH!!! Baby don’t stare at me like this!!
Aura: (yells in response) First off, I’m not your baby so quit calling me that! Secondly, I think you have more pressing concerns!!
Thrax: (slashes around frantically) Well, WHAT DO I DO?!
Aura: Just stay calm. You already have everything you need to beat it.
Thrax: (responds sarcastically) Oh, and what’s that? The power to believe in myself?
Aura: (irritated that Thrax was deliberately trying pluck a nerve) Noooooo, your claw, smartass!! Stab it!!
Thrax: Oh…right (slices off the vines from his ankles before diving at the plant beast, burying his claw straight through and causing it to explode before landing safely on the ground)
Aura: (sighs, locking arms Thrax against her better judgement) Yeah, maybe you should stick closer to me. Those things are attracted to heat and will not think twice about snuffing it out. And seeing as how you’re walking blazing inferno, you’re aggroing everything in this place.
Thrax: (blushes a bit then puts back on the “tough guy” façade before pulling away from her with a smirk) First off, if it’s one thing I know how to turn up and down, baby, it’s heat. Secondly, there’s need no need to worry your pretty, little head. Big Daddy Thrax can take care of himself (walks ahead before suddenly stepping on a random vine which woke up several more plant monsters, screaming) AAAAAAAAAAHH!!! BAAABYYYYYYY!!!!!
Aura: (raises a brow, unimpressed before sighing) This is gonna be my whole day, isn’t it?
After saving Thrax’s hide many a time from becoming every plant’s main course, they had finally reached the center of the valley. There atop an ancient pedestal stood the bejeweled Archangel’s Beacon staff in all its shiny, dusty, cobweb-covered glory.
Thrax: (grabs the staff) Hey, look. There it is!
Aura: Alright, now all we need is the dust!
Thrax: (excited before suddenly catching on to her sudden remark) Yeah- wait, what do you mean?
Aura: Well, I mean, we’re going need the Spark Powder to activate the staff. And we can only purchase said powder from the only drug dealer in this part of Frank who deals in the mystical department (for a certain price). Then once activated, the staff will guide us to the stronghold containing the gem where we’ll navigate ourselves through a series of traps within the catacombs (where most people would never think to look first), leading us to said gem and hopefully the quickest path to the throne/ritual room.
Thrax: (felt like his head was about to explode from the news) That’s INSANE! Just how paranoid were these people?! And since when did this magic stuff get so complicated?!
Aura: You don’t know much about Viral Ancient History or Magic, do you?
They continued their mission in hunting down the only drug dealer, Methadoneus Papaver, who contained the mystical Spark Powder. Once found at a nearby Opium Den, they could see the place was full of ill-repute as there were several Opius female germs publicly seducing several male cells on either ends of the establishment. When they all caught sight of Thrax, they brushed pass the others to gather around him since they never had a virus visit before (let alone a tall, strong, and handsome one). Though Thrax was flattered, he was more concerned with the mission at hand. Seeing as how it would take longer pushing through to get to Meth, Aura decided to take the high road and push Thrax into the crowd of horny germs who wasted no time in smothering him. Thrax was completely helpless in this situation. While he was known for being quite the “Ladies Man” & “Lady Killer”, he never had to deal with so many girls at once.
Aura: Hey look, girls! A present! (pushes Thrax into the Sea of Opius girls)
Thrax: Whoa!! (sees predicament he was suddenly in as the girls wasted no time going down on him, screaming out) NOOOOOO!!! They’re soooo hornyyyyyy!!!!
Aura: (caddy) But I thought there wasn’t anything Big Daddy Thrax couldn’t handle.
Thrax: (glares at her menacingly) Oh, you are SO gonna pay for that later!!
Aura: (chuckles sarcastically) Relax, this won’t take long. If anything, I’ll probably be down by the time you finish (heads upstairs the main den)
Once she found Meth, she got straight to the point about the Spark Powder. He attempted to hustle from her a ridiculous price as that was one of his rarest products that tended to go out quick. He even caused greater insult by trying to get Aura to “entice” the deal further. Meth asked her how much she thought the powder was worth believing she couldn’t do much to threaten him since she was a cop or the fact that she was just a dumb pheromone capable of only screwing her way to the top. But that was a mistake he would soon come to regret. The room suddenly went dark as Aura wasted no time in suddenly grabbing him by the throat, brandishing her claws near his chest, bearing fangs, and her crimson red eyes flashing gold as a warning. Getting the picture, Meth gave her a 75% discount on the powder in exchange for not killing him. When the lights came back on in the room, Aura warned him not to push his luck from now on before heading back down only to find that all the girls completely whored out and Thrax looking an absolute mess, barely keeping his composure and covered in kissy marks.
Aura: (looks over in shock and disbelief) DAAAMN!!! When I said I’d be down by the time you were finished, I was kidding!! But…DAMN!! (sees all the girls with blissful satisfied looks on their faces) Who would have thought you had that kind of stamina. Remind me never to question your libido again.
Thrax: (pants in moderate exhaustion) I never thought…in a million years…that I’d have to screw my way…out of a jam…like that. You got what we need?
Aura: (holds up the bag with the powder) Right here.
Thrax: Good (weakly grabs her by the collar, pulling her close to him) So don’t you EVER…do that…AGAIN!!
Aura: (pushes him off before dusting the staff with the powder) Oh, chill. I thought you would appreciate a group of women going ga-ga over you. (snarky) At least they’re the only ones dumb and horny enough to anyway. Now let’s get going, nearly half the day is gone and we’re running out of time.
Thrax: (grunts, thinking in frustration) *Why do I bother with this girl*
The staff glowed and blinked leading them to the gem’s location. When they were nearing the end of their journey, they came to the stronghold known as Mrsa Castle where they found a secret door leading to the catacombs. Just far up ahead was the Revival Gem on a pedestal. They made their way up to the end when suddenly trap after trap went off as they narrowly escape each one (especially Thrax as he was already worn out the orgy earlier). By the time they had barely made it out of the traps alive, they grabbed the gem and luckily found an elevator that lead them straight to the center of the throne room.
Aura: Man, I thought we were done after that 7th trap with the spiked wrecking balls, but then BAM!! There’s number #8 with the projectile acid worms!
Thrax: (less than enthusiastic) I just…I just want to go home.
Aura: (stops Thrax in his tracks) Wait. Hold on, Thrax. Do mine eyes deceive me?! Tis the fable Blob Throne of Staphylococcus Aureus! A being of microscopic knowledge and devourer of souls! Quickly, good sir! We must spirit away before- Oh my god! Will you just come out already?!
Scabies: (comes out from behind the throne and sat down in all his zombified glory) Well, for a pheromone you’ve got some rather keen instincts for you to have known I was here.
Aura: (casually) Scabies?! Oh my god, how are yo- Oh god, wow, that’s enough of that. (disgusted) Jesus, how do you put up that act all day?
Scabies: Ah, so you saw through me, did ya? You’re quite the clever pisha to haves figured I was once leader of the Sweat Gang
Aura: (laughs) The Sweat Gang? Wow, I thought you might be someone more dangerous, like Thrax over here or even Ebola! Never even heard of you.
Thrax: (looks to her, mildly blushing at the partial compliment)
Scabies: (confidently) Laugh all you like. We’re still one of the most feared gangs in the restricted zones of Frank.
Aura: (snarky) Ooh, impressive. You can frighten cells that think Pollen Pods are terrifying.
Thrax: (points out) Actually, some cells do find them rather terrifying considering Frank’s allergic to them. I mean, when you think about it, have you seen their eyes? They have no souls.
Scabies: Ah, so quick with the snark. Of course, that’s really all ya’ have goin’ on, isn’t it? A witty retort to distract everyone from what you really are. A sad, lonely little girl with no one who loves her. Someone so dead inside, she’d use a lethal virus as bait just to lure me out
Thrax: (defensively) Ok, seriously? My girl may have done some terrible things lately, but I know for a fact that she would never do something that horrible!
Aura: (bluntly) Nah, he’s right. I totally did that.
Thrax: (shocked) What?! How could you do that?!
Aura: Not so much fun when the shoe is on the other foot, is it? Keep in mind that you used and deceived me to meet your ends, remember? I just simply gave you a small taste of your own medicine.
Thrax: (dumbfounded by this newfound sinister change to her personality, though remained silent knowing she was right and should have seen this coming)
Aura: Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Scabies: And to top it all off, you play the “tough girl”. This invincible force you could never hope to be out there in the real world. Getting promoted to the FPD as a top-rated cop was probably the only best thing to ever happen to you. But there’s one thing your position will never let you hide. The one thing that’s haunted you your whole life, that you can never escape…
Aura: (narrows her eyes in annoyance)
Scabies: (smiles smugly) You are the bastard child of former cop-turned-all-around-whore. And trust me, I should know. She was one of my top earners
Aura: (laughs) What?! No, I’m not bastard child of a-…my mother wasn’t a-… (slips into psychotic laughter, finally snapping from the repressed memories of her dear mother) That’s crazy. That’s CRAZY!! HAHAHAHA!!!
Thrax: (looks at her worriedly) Uuuuh, baby, you feelin’ a’ight?
Scabies: Well, looks like my work here is done. I do so enjoy our chats, but I really have a ritual to get going. We’ll be taking the Revival Gem now, if you don’t mind.
Aura: (deranged) Really? Little old you is going to take from us? That’d be a neat TRICK!!
Scabies: Indeed. But a magician is nothing without his lovely assistants (snaps his fingers, giving a signal)
Suddenly, the old crew of the Sweat Gang suddenly came out of their hiding places looking as bad as Scabies. Like Scabies, they were all zombies out for revenge and ready to strike up some mayhem the second they were back to normal. The largest of the crew soon dragged two familiar faces tied up securely
Ozzy: (expresses joyfully upon seeing them) THRAX!! BABY GIRL!!! Boy, aren’t you two a sight for soar eyes!! It’s the funniest thing really. We found out the gem was here as well and came to retrieve it. And we would have called but (chuckles) these guys nabbed us out the blue and we’ve been trapped here ever since. (put on his usual facade) But of course not before Germinator Daddy opened a can of WHUP-ASS in honor of your moth-
Drix: (interrupts) Uh, Ozzy? I’d hate to interrupt such a “tearful” reunion, but do you think it could wait until after we’re rescued?
Thrax: How the hell are these clowns alive anyway?
Drix: (explains) It would appear when you killed Scabies and what was left him disappeared into the pipes, somehow the pipes were connected to the ones here at Mrsa Castle. The power of gem manifested once it sensed a dead soul, bringing Scabies back from the dead…um, partially. He then used a spell stolen from the archives to bring back the rest of them to seek out revenge. He used all of us to get to the gem so he could fully return all of them and himself to their original states before his 15 years comes to an end tonight!! (points out one last thing) Oh, and right now we’re probably about to die. Did I miss anything?
Ozzy: Uuuuhh, nope. That’s seems about right
All Germs: (start to move in on Thrax & Aura for the kill, snickering sinisterly)
Thrax: (worried, steps in front of Aura defensively) Oh crap, there’s too many of them, baby. I may be tired but that’s never stopped me before. I’ll back you up.
Aura: (places her hand on his shoulder, calmly but still in deranged state) Aww, that’s adorable.
Thrax: (raises a brow, confused) What is?
Aura: You think they’re a threat because we’re out numbered and they’re twice as strong due to them being undead. Well, you just sit tight. Show’s about to start. Careful, though. The first 3 rows are a ♫splash zone♫ (walks ahead of Thrax)
Thrax: (goes wide-eyed, worried) Baby, what do you mean by that?
Aura: (laughs psychotically)
Aura had officially snapped. As if things weren’t bad enough when she was reminded of her guilt. Or when she unknowingly aided Thrax in his plans to take down Frank when she was a child. Or when others saw her as a monster or a dumb pheromone whose only purpose in life is to screw or to kill just because she was born half-cell and half-virus. She could deal with all the taunts and slanders. But the moment someone insults her mother, the one organism in all of Frank that brought her into this world and held dear to her heart, that’s the moment when all she can see is red and loses her mind completely. All of that became clear when the entire throne room suddenly got darker and started to freak everyone out, especially Thrax. He had never seen her like this or any cell or virus with this kind of aura. He actually found it to be more terrifying than he was. It was at that moment Thrax realized all that she had to endure from the time of her birth, through her mother’s death, and living as an orphan on the street for years treated poorly by everyone in Frank. But the worst of it was when he walked into her life and used her in his scheme even though she trusted him, believing she had finally found a friend. His betrayal became the official turning point for what she was now. And the germs who were set to kill, started to get nervous and began to think otherwise about the whole situation.
Joe Cramp: (concerned) Um, boss? A-A thought occurs. This cop thought she was going up against someone as dangerous as Ebola, yet she brought herself and our…former boss. We sure we wanna mess with this chick?
Scabies: (callously confident) Please! The girl is all talk! And now that I’ve broken her, she’s not even THAT, anymore! She’s nothing but a gibbering mess, grasping at straws!
Aura: (still emanating the dark presence) Ooh, another one of your famous theories! Tell ya what. I’ll give you the first shot (eye twitches) See how that goes!
Joe Cramp: (thinks momentarily before concluding) Boss, I think this might be a trap.
Scabies: (abruptly) Enough! You’re all undead with twice your normal strength and there’s SEVEN of you! I think you’ve got this!
Aura: (smiles wryly, baring her fangs and eyes glowing yellow like a cat)
Scabies: Now, kill her!!
In a flash, they all came bearing down on her with no restraint. Each one either slashed at her with claws, beat her with a club, bit at her, stabbed her with knives, etc. And the whole time, she stood there not screaming in pain or giving in an inch. This made the others worry and wonder why she was refusing to do anything.
Drix: (shocked at the damage being done) Oh no, I knew it! Scabies must’ve really gotten into her head! She’s not even fighting back.
Ozzy: (worried for his adoptive daughter urges Thrax to help) Thrax, don’t just stand there! Help her!!
Thrax: (snaps out of it, adjusting himself while getting ready to jump in, thinking) *Oh, baby. Now I understand completely. It’s my fault this all happened to you. And right now, you need me more than ever* Well, I guess it’s up to me to save her or else-
Aura: (smiles as one of her wounds suddenly healed instantly along with the rest of her injuries)
Thrax: (stops in his tracks, stunned at the sight) Wait what?
All Germs: (pants, completely exhausted and shocked that she didn’t scream or go down after all they did to her)
Aura: Man, you guys are out of shape! Really oughta do some cardio.
Scabies: (frustrated) What are you Sissy Marys’ doing?! Quit screwing around and finish her!
Bruiser: (pants) I don’t understand, Boss! We threw everything we had at her! How is she still standing?!
Aura: How? Well, it’s quite simple, really. You see, ASSHOLE, you may think you’ve got all figured out. True, I was born a pheromone cell but that’s only half of it. There’s just one thing you didn’t account for.
Scabies: (getting angry)
Aura: As it turns out, the 2nd half of my makeup…is Chiroptera DNA!
Ozzy: (confused) Chiro-what now?
Drix: (explains) If I may, Chiroptera is the scientific classification order of bats more particularly the common vampire bat. They have many known diseases with one being the only rarest exception among them. And that rare disease is known as the legendary Draculine virus.
All: (gasps)
Ozzy: (curious) And you know this how?
Drix: (admitted truthfully) I studied her during that time she was in the hospital fighting Thrax’s venom. I managed to dig up some research on the subject as well as her background. I felt it was necessary for future medical reasons should you need it.
Aura: (sarcastically explains, chuckling) It’s funny how life works really. A respected female cop doing her job has an unexpected run-in with a virus that later puts her in a position she has absolutely no control over. Said events soon results into a half-breed child who eventually loses everything. But after years of loneliness and hell, you hoped you finally found someone whom you could trust that you felt connected to. And that goes out the window when he stabs you in the back in more ways than one and leaves you drifting in the void between this world and the next. Suddenly, the part of you that you didn’t know existed ends up being the thing that saves you from a near-death experience. Get to that point in your life where that side brings out more in you emotionally and physically, turning you a lethal force to be reckon with, and you’re basically untouchable. My wounds heal faster than you can make them. We could do this all day and you dumbasses would not be any closer to killing me. (laughs) Not that it wouldn’t be fun. But I’ve got good news! You see, there’s no need to wonder where your God is. Cause she’s right here… (whispers menacingly) and she’s fresh out of mercy.
All Germs: (whimpers and cries in terror)
Scabies: (scared, finally fed up) W-Well, way to prove my point, bitch! Lording your origins over them like some kind of god! Your strength is nothing but an illusion to cover-
Aura: (blazes swiftly like a gust of wind)
And what happened next shocked everyone. When everyone looked up, Aura was no longer where she was. They turned see that she was where Scabies was, who looked pale with fear as blood came out the corner of his mouth. It was at the moment they all could see something big and slimy pulsating. Aura had drove her claws deep into Scabies, creating a huge hole in his chest and ripped his barely beating heart through his back. Never had anyone there seen someone do anything so ruthless without hesitation or mercy. Scabies was shocked by this revelation as well as he weakly turned to meet her deadly gaze.
Ozzy & Drix: (shocked and horrified at the scene)
All Germs: (jaws dropped in shocked)
Thrax: (shocked and amazed, yet horrified)
Scabies: (whimpers, choking on his blood) Uuuugh….
Aura: (whispers before crushing his heart with her bare claws) I’m gettin’ real tired of your first-year-psych-student bullshit.
Scabies: (weakly) Enjoy this…while you can. It’s the deepest…a man will never be…in…you (goes up in blue flames disappearing from existence)
All Germs: (go up blue flames as well at the death of their master)
Thrax: (stares in confusion of everything that just transpired)
Aura: Yeah, well, you’re dead, soooooooooooo…. (frustrated, unable give a retort) DAMMIT!!!
An hour had passed since the incident. Aura sat on the throne staring off into space with a soulless gaze. Ozzy and Drix were still in shock that she had that kind of force in her and were worried for the well being of her current mental state. Thrax was even more worried for Aura as he was still processing the fact that this was all his fault for turning her into this, feeling untold guilt that she had become as ruthless and virulent as he was. It was all completely opposite of the sweet soul she used to be. Unable to bear the silence anymore, one of them had to speak up.
Thrax: (came up and sat beside her, concerned) Soooooo…how are you doing, baby?
Aura: (glumly) Fine. Why?
Drix: (points out) Well, you did just kill someone.
Ozzy: Which in turn killed a bunch more.
Thrax: As someone who’s killed more than his fair share of organisms, I usually feel a great sense of satisfaction from it. Which makes me kinda wonder, doesn’t that make you feel…something?
Aura: (nonchalantly) Oh, feelings? Yeah, thanks to you, I no longer have those. Went cold turkey
Ozzy: (shocked) What?! Baby girl, you can’t just do that! What’s the point in living if you can’t feel happiness, wonder, love…?
Aura: (lights up a little) Or the sweet taste of revenge! You’re right, Ozzy! What’s the point in living if I can’t enjoy such simple things?
Thrax: (sighs before lightly smiling) Close enough.
Aura: (feels a slightly new sense of being) You guys are good friends. We should go on more missions like this.
Drix: Um, I don’t think so
Ozzy: Don’t take this the wrong way, sweetie. We’re grateful for your help, but you’re-…
Thrax: Like the worst person we’ve ever had to work with.
Aura: (silent for a moment before responding) Is that your big plan? Huh? Make me feel feelings so you can cut me down a peg? That cuts deep, guys. But I respect that.
Ozzy: Yeah, that’s kinda the problem. But I suppose it’ll all be worth it to have Leah back.
Aura: That’s the spirit. Let’s get started.
They set up the ritual circle where Drix took Leah’s corpse out of his compartment (to keep her body from decaying) and laid her in the center. Using her blood, Aura brought the Revival Gem to Leah’s body. As the drop of blood glowed from the gem’s power, it fell onto the body making it glow brightly. It got brighter and brighter until suddenly…
Gem Voice: *Lifeline time limit has expired*
Leah: (goes up in blue flames, disappearing)
Ozzy: (stares in shock at what just happened)
Aura: I’m…sorry for your loss
Ozzy: (bloodcurdlingly screams) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
The aftermath of that incident was no better. After everything they went through, it was all a waste. And now Ozzy was running around the streets of Frank going on rampage, having officially lost the love of his life.
Thrax, Aura, & Drix: (suffers Ozzy’s wrath with some rather critical injuries, shocked)
Thrax: He took that well.
#osmosis jones thrax#Osmosis Jones#american dad#sao abridged#sao abridged ep 4#scabies#ozzy and drix
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