#and then i'm fired and they're hiring part time student workers in my place
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i know that like. the dream is to just get paid to do whatever you want forever, but on god i want a job where i'm actually kept busy with things that have some sort of procedure and schedule and are a good use of my skills because i am losing my mind sitting here doing nothing
#//juri speaks#it's the imposter syndrome and the knowledge that at any point someone could say ''hey you don't do anything we don't need you''#and then i'm fired and they're hiring part time student workers in my place#but even when i get tasks here they're often like. no one knows how to put this idea into action you figure it out#and there's no deadline and there's no guidance and even things that should have a procedure manual don't have one#i'm just given things that should have been planned for and told ''figure it out we didn't plan for this before we just bought it''#which is very backwards and very stressful and very much not what i like to do#and i am. not heartened that i can find a job that isn't like this#not any good at research either and would fuck up getting things published so i can't go after like half the academic positions that exist#i just. idk man. what am i even doing#other than losing my mind bc i have nothing to do
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