#and then i didn't even do any liquid sim.

[jaythelay]

Really is nuts to think gaming is no longer this boys only, nerds only thing anymore. I can say a title and miles from here I'll hear some nerd excited to find another fan.

Before it'd be drowned out in adults shitting on it and proto-maga types hating the specific game, or christ, politicians. Remember, it wasn't unlikely for R's/Dems to (try and) ban The Simpsons if they wanted to back then.

Don't let people take this away by pretending it was always normalized. It wasn't marilyn manson devil fear mongering, but it felt like everyone wanted to put and then keep it in that space of public consciousness.

Remember that one lawyer? I don't. Jack tomphson? Singlehandeldy normalized gaming to regular people by being Maga about gaming.

You can thank republican-like behavior for one "weird" thing becoming normalized simply by watching them cry at the existence of something they deemed an afront to god without recognizing how ridiculuous they look in comparison.

Gaming is cool because R's tried to kill it. Much like with metal music and DnD before it.

Fact is though, they finally recognized those aren't indentities but hobbies, so of course they switched to minorities. That's why calling them weird works so well.

They are the people who think Rage Against the Machine was conservative afterall. They don't know shit outside their dying farm's bubble. Electricity was considered hipster amongst these outdated ghouls when that time came too, I assure you.

So whatever weird thing you're into? V-tubers? (shame upon thee) Reaction channels? (Believe it or not, straight to hell) Mr. Halo telling you to clean your room? (Do it bro git er dun) guess what's no longer weird?

Ansnthe reason? We've seen R's squirt liquid shit at DnD, spit cum at heavier than normal music. Blow chunks at beating up a virtual prostitute. All of which the device turned off, and the R being covered in all sorts of bodily fluids they themselves exhaled at the existence of something.

Solely because it's a hobby, not an identity, is what caused the shift for R's.

This means...You're Safe.

Go forth! Be fucking weird. Enjoy that dumbass new music genre that I hate in old man. Make yourself an anime gorl while discussing world events. Because the truth is, "who cares" includes you. Do you care enough to try, or do you care about people's opinion enough not to?

You should care enough to try. Because that's why gaming got past every hurdle the world threw at it. Even germany loosened it's Laughable, Embarrassing, Deeply Troubling censorship laws because it was so pathetic to censor art on the grounds of interactivity of digital only content.

What seems insurmountable now will become an innevitability in the future. People speak from hindsight about gaming all the time, but the reality is, much like now, we didn't know if anything would get worse or improve. Gaming could've been an outdated banned topic in all our minds back then.

The only reason it improved, is because we spoke up.

Like...very nerdily and cringely, and very poorly, but by golly we spoke the fuck up.

Now you can play gay furry dating sims. You can thank Me specificially for fostering the genre since ram came in GB. Took aloooot of time sending floppy disks to strangers to start the furry fanbase those decades ago. This is a lie.

Make sure you "discover" that the existence of something doesn't corrupt any, but misinformation unfettered absolutely throughout every second of history most definitely has!

Fuck Republicans and their historical anti-new anything stance. The amount of artistic genre's the world could've lost because some old idiots think frogger makes you murderously gay.

And as a little aside, rememeber when Sega and Nintendo were in court over mature games and Nintenso tried to throw the ENTIRE GAMING INDUSTRY UNDER THE BUS, just to potentially cost Sega some in legal costs? Deadass not even slightly joking go look uo how the ESRB was made and watch Nintendo try to censor and control the industry themselves?

I'ma tired. HHHRRRAGGPHPGHPGGHP

[autobot2001]

Angst April & Agony April 2022 Prompts- scene snippets for A Lily in Winter.

I've decided to post all my writing for Angst April & Agony April in one post at the end of the month. Prompts are mixed, and I think it would be better to have one post with snippets for an upcoming story, plus the prompt lists are marked in 2 different colors and easier to follow. I will do the same in May with Merry Whump of May & Whumpay.

In order by day's prompt, not following the order these scenes would be in the story. Hopefully a little less confusing. Not edited & likely revisions will be made.

Angst April. Agony April

Day 1- Doorstep collapse Lily walks through the deep snow, freezing and wondering if she has frost bite. She dreads not being close to Washington D.C. I don't think I'm going to make it. She dreads. She walks out of the woods to a neighborhood, hoping someone or somebot will help her. She walks up a path, struggles to walk up the stairs and to ring the bell before collapsing on the porch.

Day 2: fear Day 3: shaking Lily isn't sure if she's shaking due to being cold or fear. She's been trying to find the road for hours.

Day 3 - nightmares  Day 5: Nightmare  Day 22: impaled  "What was I thinking?!" Crosshairs rages, "I should have continued to hate humans."  Jamie didn't think Crosshairs would slap her across the face.  She runs out of the room crying.  Jamie runs down the hall before bumpkin into Drift. She falls onto the floor before feeling pain. Drift had stabbed her in the abdomen.  Crosshairs catches up to them and sims his gun at her head. 

Jamie wakes up, terrified and breathing heavily.  She realizes she's in Crosshairs and Drift's room. All she wanted to do was take a nap. Even though it was a nightmare, she remembers it too well. Maybe because she fears her gaurdians and the other Autobots will tire of taking care of her.   She's not sure what to think about the door opening. "... and I don't want to —," Lily complains as she walks into the room with Crosshairs and Drift. The three didn't think Jamie would look at them, terrified.  "Go talk to Optimus, though I don't think any of us can help you," Crosshairs instructs Lily as Drift rushes to Jamie.  "I don't want to leave while she's like this," Lily argues, but leaves anyway.

Crosshairs and Drift worry, seeing Jamie tremble and the fear on her face. The two believe they know the problem even though Jamie has enemies. They look at each other, knowing they will have to talk about this later.

Day 4; flashback Lily looks around the lab, seeing vials of something in a familiar color. Remembering the day she walked into her uncle's lab.

Lily walks around her uncle's cabin, looking in each room. Items in one room in Patti catches her eye. She walks in the room towards the counter seeing vials of a blue substance. She can't tell if it's a solid or liquid. She doubts a gas would be in a vial. "Lily?!" She hears her uncle before she can explore any further. She rushes out of the room before she gets caught.

Day 5: recovery  Lily lays in the bed, not caring if she's in the hospital or medbay at the base.  She stsres out the window, thinking of all the people at the fake camp who were killed. At this point, she only knows Veronica and Zoey survived — or she saw them for the last time alive. Then there's the bullies, but it seems their father is Marco Riva. 

Sunstreaker is part of the meeting discussing what was found and Lily's recovery. He didn't think part of the meeting would be letting Lily's friend in on the secret. 

(Definitely a snippet as I think half the story will be about Lily's recovery) 

Day 6: attack The night is quiet. Few walk the paths of the camp, patrolling around with flashlights guiding them. Lily struggles to sleep, wishing she could escape, but she couldn't do it on her own. The consolers make sure kids aren't alone. There's no way to plan an escape with a few other kids or even try to get to a phone to call the police.

Lily struggles to sleep, but has to fake being asleep every time a light shines in the room. The silence is broken as a girl who was caught being awake screams as she's dragged down the hall. No one knows what happens to the kids that misbehave. Some wonder if this place doesn't care about doing illegal things, but how would they explain to a parent what their child went through? Even consolers fear being caught. Lily observes as she watches the adult she shares the room with, try to fake sleeping while in pain.

An hour passes before gunshots can be heard. Everyone is jolted awake and runs out of their rooms. Lily's roommate uses all her strength to run out of the room with Lily. Kids and adults fall to the ground as they're shot. The rest dread having to keep going rather than help those who are shot.

They didn't know that people with guns were waiting for them outside. The remaining twenty kids and ten consolers know they're dead if they stay, but likely won't be able to escape. "Run, and don't look back!" A male consoler orders.

Day 6: attack Day 8: lost Lily doesn't know how long she's been running, but she believes she's running out of trails in the woods, but she's running the pitch black of the night. Is my vision that great being a hybrid. Lily guesses knowing she's still on the path. Or is the path clear of snow? Lily hopes she's heading towards the street, to help, but isn't sure.

The sun begins to rise as Lily questions how lost she is. She's tackled to the ground. "Jordan? What the hell are you doing?" "Helping our father," John replies. Lily questions where the two got a sledgehammer, but is lore worried about being held down. Another teen sits on Lily's legs, as John aims the sledgehammer at her wrist. "Three, two, one," John counts. The three smile hearing Lily scream in pain. "Again?" Jordan asks. "Na, it's more fun to let her try to get back home like this, however." John stomps on Lily's chest s few times until Lily screams in pain again. "Break a leg," Jordon encourages. "Trust me, the pain she's feeling while trying to find the street will be enough," John explains as he hides a tracker in Lily's sweatshirt. The other two question John's decision, but they follow him as he leaves.

"She's getting tired and hungry. She's going to struggle with the pain of the injuries," John explains as the trio walk away, "the Autobots will be lucky to find her alive. We'll get to hear her struggle." "Is dad going to be mad at this idea or not?" Jordan asks. "I don't know, he didn't say kill anyone we cross paths with."

Day 8: bad news Lily and Veronica are told there's no other survivors. Lily knows that's not true, but doesn't argue she's certain a few people got away. She asks about Zoey. The two girls are told that Zoey hung herself. Lily doesn't tell the others she knows why.

Day 9: "too late." "Too late," a man speaks before the three can see men surrounding the area. Kyle picks up Lily and runs with his wife. "Don't shoot! Capture only!" "Let them run," another man orders. "Yes, sir, Mr. Rivera." "That girl is valuable alive, the older women can be used and perhaps even the man," Mr. Rivera smiles.

Day 9: "I needed you."  Alt 4; panic attack  Sunstreaker sits by the bed as Lily sleeps. He spent the past few days thinking about what Optimus told him. Feeling guilt that he hurt Lily again. Dreading b she feels like he doesn't love her.  

All is quiet for twenty minutes until Sunstreaker watches Lily twitch in her sleep.  I don't know what she's been through. I could scare her if I touch her. Sunstreaker worries.  Sunstreaker watches tears roll down Lily's face.  "I needed you," she cries.  What are you dreaming about? Sunstreaker worries.  He believes he needs to get Ratchet, not prepared for what the two see when they walk into the room.z "Panic attack," Ratchet observes. "Don't get Drift," Sunstreaker insists, "I think I know what she was dreaming about that triggered this." Sunstreaker knows Ratchet will be watching, ready to get Drift if this goes on for too long. He sits on the bed, and talks calmly as he takes Lily's hand. I don't think this is dreaming of the trauma being at the camp. Sunstreaker regrets. This is like Jamie; fear of abandonment.

When he believes it's ok to, Sunstreaker moves Lily in his lap. Lily leaves on him and relaxes. Sunstreaker waits a few minutes before putting Lily back in bed, waiting for her to fall asleep.

Sunstreaker forgot Ratchet was watching. At this point, the medic is amazed at how well Sunstreaker dealt with the problem. Of course Sunstreaker told him not to tell anyone as Ratchet leaves the room.

Day 10: "I told you to be quiet." "I told you to be quiet," Gina scolds, whispering,  believing one of the teens screamed. Until she sees what Kelly is doing. No place to hide, fuck. "J-just go," Kelly pants, "I'm not going to make it."

Day 11: forced to hurt Lily lies on the cold ground, feeling the pain from her wrist and forearm shot up her arm and the pain from her ribs. She knows she can't stay in the same location. I need to keep going to have a better chance of surviving. She reminds herself. Even getting up with her non-injured right arm hurts thanks to the broken rib or ribs. Tears roll down her face as she tries not to scream.

As Lily slowly walks down the path, she questions if the cold snow will works as well as ice. She finds a pile of snow as tall as her. No need to bend down to grab snow. Lily does her best to ignore the pain, letting the cold numb her chest. Downside is I'm getting my clothes wet and risking hypothermia. Lily worries.

Day 11; "Up! Get up!" Day 16; exhaustion Sunstreaker and Lily run down the hall, with Decepticons behind them. Sunstreaker regrets searching for Lily in his holoform. Fearing he can't get her out of this place. He fears watching her fall to the ground. "Up! Get up!" He urges, trying to help her up. He sees how exausted Lily is and picks her up bridal style. This is going to slow me down. Sunstreaker regrets. I should have searched around in my bipedal form.

Day 12: forced to watch NSFW!! TW: RAPE Kathryn is chained to a wall. As the men who dragged her into the room leave, she sees two nude woman also chained to the wall. They both look frightened. Shit, this is the rape room. Kathryn frets. "Well, well, I have a new friend," a man chirps. The man is completely nude and ready as he walks down the stairs, "oh don't worry, we'll have fun soon. Miss. Lynnette; it's your turn."

Kathryn didn't see the woman tied to a bed, with her legs forced open. She didn't hear others come in the room. All woman are forced to watch what will eventually happen to them. I need to get Lily out of here before this happens to her. Kathryn realizes.

Day 15: hidden injuries  The two adults couldn't believe what their unexpected guest tells them the next morning.  They don't know what's more troubling? The camp their guest told them about or that she was in the cold and show for twenty-four hours. They noticed her wrist is wrapped up but don't know about her broken ribs. They give her clothes to change into. Never knowing the girl's chest is red.

Day 16: caught  The group knew there'd be a chance the armed attackers would be waiting for them.  All but four kids are killed.  Lily and another kid, Zoey run together to the edge of the property. They hide behind a building, waiting for the gaurds to leave the area  "Go, I'll distract them," Zoey tells Lily. "No, i—." "I know you won't agree with this, but I'd rather be dead. You know how Marco says anyone not asleep will be punished? At least for the girls, the punishment rape. It's camp concilor verses teenager.  I don't want to even think about the bullshit I'll get if I'm pregnant and I don't want to have his baby."  Lily knows Zoey will argue with her, and it'll end in both being caught.  

The two run towards the exit once the gaurds are gone, but the two gaurds quickly realize the girls are running towards the exit. Lily hates continuing as Zoey is caught.  All I can do is hope she won't be killed and police or the Autobots discover how this is not a good camp. Lily believes as she runs. 

Day 20; missing We couldn't believe what we're finding as we walk around the property. Everyone reporting finding dead bodies. As far as we know, Lily is the only one who got away aside from Veronica. I know Lennox and Prime would have asked Veronica where she last saw Lily but looking at the trail map; she can be anywhere in the woods. :: We don't know if we'll find anyone else. Holoforms only.:: Optimus orders. What are the chances we find a Decepticon? Even if our holoform's guns have bullets that can take down a con, I don't like this idea. Lily is missing and the fresh show covered the trails. She'd be in serious trouble if she wasn't a hybrid, but it doesn't mean she won't freeze I'd she's not dressed properly.

Day 20: hunted Lily and the Dunn family find themselves in the woods Lily found her way out of last night. They know they're leaving a trail of footprints. Kyle carries Lily as they run, hoping to let her rest a little, but this slows him down. He's hoping they won't be found for some time to allow Lily to rest enough to run with his wife. He knows this helps his wife conserve energy as she isn't running as fast as possible.

They travel a mile in the snow before hearing snowmobiles getting closer. Kyle has Lily get off him. "Run!" He demands, "don't argue, just go!"

Day 21; hospital Kathryn lies in the bed in a hospital room, worried about Lily. Trying not to think she failed her the second they got seperated. The doctor walks in explaining she has an infected wound and will be in the hospital for a few days.

The hours alone result in Kathryn thinking about her life without Kyle and worrying about Lily. "Kathryn?" "Ryley Graham?" "It's been a long time," Ryley smiles, "I'm sorry this is how we're reuniting." Kathryn remembers the last time she saw her friend was two years ago even though they live a few streets away from each other. The two girls question why now they're reuniting.

Day 22: threats Day 29; revenge "I will hunt you down and kill you!" Sunstreaker rages, holding Lily, who's let herself fall asleep.  He'd love to fight the Decepticon now, but he's also worried about Lily.  "Then I shall leave to give you a chance to plan your revenge," the con smiles, transforms and flies away with his sons. 

The others couldn't believe Sunstreaker just turned down a fight, but they know while he's worried about Lily; he's planning his revenge mission. 

Day 23; secrets  *** spoiler*** The Autobots watch a adult male and two teen males walk into the hangar.   "It's time you all knew," the adult smiles. The door opens, revealing Sunstreaker carrying Lily who the Autobots notice she's exhausted, "ah, Sunstreaker, just in time."  The Autobots watch the three mech fizzle away.  The three jets transform. "My real name is Megafire. These are my sons, Jawbreaker and Jointbreaker. I'm here on my own mission, but we will be meeting Megatron eventually. My plan was to have a little fun with the humans, then I find out Lily is a hybrid along with another femme, Jasmine Graham. I'm sur Megatron would love to have them as test subjects. I'm sure we'll meet again." 

Day 24; praise "For someone with no military training yet, you did good surviving in the cold winter," Ratchet praises seeing how minimal the frostbit is, "you likely won't feel the typical frostbite pdin while on pain medication. Three broken ribs." "I had to keep going. I knew staying in the same location would have been more dangerous," Lily argues. "I have seen humans in worse condition after being in the cold and injured as long as you have. Being a hybrid doesn't help much if you're not resting. Now you will heal much quicker."

Day 25; webcam Lily had to be home before the terror twins return from their mission. She packs up a few things she needs from her room before Optimus drives her home. He tells Lily that he'll talk to Sunstreaker before watching her go into the house.

Dinner is ready when she walks through the door. Lily knew she'd get a lecture how the camp will be a good experience for her, and knows not to argue.

After packing for the camp, Lily lies in bed, hoping Sunstreaker would video call like he sometimes would before she moved into the base a month ago. Lily: are you guys home yet? Sideswipe; yeah, and Sunny wants to know why you went home. Lily: I....I want to talk to him but I worry he'll be pissed. Sideswipe: why? Lily: because I'm going to a camp for most of my spring break. Sideswipe: and you don't want to, because I know you would have brought it up before the sign up deadline. Hold on.

Lily thought Sunstreaker would text her, until her tablet screen lights up. "Hey,— have you been crying?!" Sunstreaker asks. "I don't want you to do anything," Lily replies as tears roll down her face. Sunstreaker would question where Lily really is if Optimus didn't tell him that he drove her home. He regrets seeing how upset and seeing the fear of how angery Sunstreaker will be as she tells him she's going to a camp for most of her spring break. Something else is bothering her. Sunstreaker observes. It's not the right time to ask. In person would be better. "It's out of our control if you go to the camp or not, but you know the base is your home. It's not like you have been told to stay away from us. Then there's a problem. Do you want me to come by tomorrow morning?" "I don't know...." Sunstreaker decides he'll go to Lily's house tomorrow morning, but for now needs to get her to calm down and relax to go to sleep.

Day 26; lights Lily doesn't know how long she's been in the dark cell, but the lights are blinding to her.

Day 27; burning Day 28; falling A snowstorm begins as Lily struggles to follow Veronica's path. She's unable to pick up the pace to cover more ground before the snow fills in the footponts. All she can do is hope Veronica gets to the Autobots, but it's a long way if Veronica has to walk the entire way, Does Sunstreaker even care? Lily questions. Sure, we're friends and dating, but he still can lack compation.

Lily continues to walk through the show until her legs give up on her. The pain of catching herself with both hands us excruciating add the burning pain of her hands deep in the snow. She knows she's getting frostbite.

Day 28; trapped Lily walks down the hall, hoping to find Kathryn. She does her best to stay in the shadows. Little did she know, this place functions like a prisoner when a captive escapes. Forget staying in the shadows. Lily decides. She runs down the hall, uncertain if she's running towards an exit.

"Get back here!" A man yells. Lily hears several people running after her. She continues to run, terrified they have guns and will gladly shoot her in the back.

Lily runs down the hall ,taking a left at the end of the hall. She runs for a few minutes before reaching a deadend. There's five men behind her. "Where are you going to go now?" One man taunts. Another man grabs her and carries her and her his shoulder.

Day 31; "Goodbye." ***spoiler*** The memorial is the next day.  Kathryn couldn't believe how many friends Ryley has and they agreed to go to a stranger's memorial for her husband.  This memorial would be short. Kathryn didn't think Kyle's family was informed about his death yet.  All understanding she's not ready for a memorial with everyone, that this was Ryley's idea.   ".... goodbye, my love," Kathryn concludes her brief speech before crying as Ryley hugs her. 

Alt 2; silence Kathryn is kept in the rape room with the other woman. The silence broken by the chosen woman begging to be spared and muffled screaming. "Silence!" The men working for Rivera would yell, threatening a harsh punishment would happen if the woman don't be quiet. Kathryn doesn't know how long she's been in the room, but fears her turn is soon. Do I fight them or let him rape me? Kathryn debates.

Alt 4; alone No matter what she tells herself, Kathryn feels alone. "I have my friend back in my life, and will have many more friends; but I still feel alone without you, Kyle," she runs her abdomen, "I don't know if I can have our baby without you, but also, I'm hoping I'm pregnant."

Alt 6; touch "Lily?' Sunstreaker asks, worried. He touches al over her body, trying to find any injury. Dreading she cries as he touches her chest and louder as he touches her leg. :: Ratchet, I found Lily, injured. one injury has been bleeding. :: ::Don't do anything, get her out of there and find the others.:: Sunstreaker helps Lily up, and the two walk out of the room.

The two don't make it far before getting caught. Lily ignores the pain to run with Sunstreaker. She isn't sure if the bleeding stopped from the injury to her leg, but knows Snstreaker carrying her will slow him down. I might be risking still dying rather than needing a blood transfusion or Energon infusion, but he'll die if I make him carry me. Lily reminds herself.

Alt 1; misunderstanding "Oh no, You all misunderstand, this is not a fun spring break camp,"

Alt 2; insomnia Crosshairs and Drift left out the part about Jennie dealing with insomnia. Lily will find out soon enough that Jamie ends up taking a nap in the middle of the day. (I was thinking about writing the two dealing with the problem as a sub plot, but this book might not be a good one for that)

Alt 3; cry for help "Help!" Optimus and the others hear before they hear banging. "Over there," Epps points down the hall. The sound was coming from the first room. "Lily!" The femme panics, not seeing Lily in the group. "Easy, we have someone looking for her," Optimus assures the femme before having two soldiers escort her to the entrance of the property where an ambulance will meet them.

Alt 5; rejection "You don't think she's been afraid you're rejecting her because she's a hybrid!" Sideswipe asks. "From what Optimus told me, I probably should assume she has been."

Alt 6; self-isolation While lying in bed, feeling safe; Lily begins to worry about Jamie. She didn't think they'd come by when she texted Drift, but Crosshairs immediately tells Lily not to ask about Jamie. "Why else do you think I'm asking you to come here rather than you two decide to come here?!" Lily argues. "She has a point," Drift points out, his sigh indicating Jamie is not doing well, "I don't know if I should be fine with the fact it's nothing new. Jamie has been quiet and distent since we discovered she was frightened about something. She always self-isolate. There's mentally and physically. I should be happy she doesn't push us away, but this isn't good for her." "And you have no idea what frightened her?" Lily asks. "Not like that, we've never seen her that terrified," Crosshairs explains, "it's nothing for you to worry about."

Lily argues with Crosshairs that she wants to help Jamie, even if there's no answer as to what frightened Jamie. About ready to leave the mebay right now if she wasn't needing pain relief. "trust me, Lily, you'll be helping Jamie even if we don't know what frightened her," Drift assures her.

Alt 7; mistakes  "What did you find out?' Sideswipe asks. "I've made so many mistakes," Sunstreaer sighs, "right from the day we rescued her from that anti transformers group. How the hell does she still love me? Or even stopped being afraid of me?! She still thinks I don't about her. I'm waiting for her to tell me she wnts Crosshairs and Drift to be her gaurdians even though they have Jamie to worry about, and occassionally Jamie's friends Jayce and J.R.  Sideswipe still finds it hard to believe Sunstreaker is admitting to mistakes he made rather than blaming the human race.