#and then he has unpublished as in unless he dies and the black box codes pass on to us we'll never see it

[flatstarcarcosa]

I want to say that I can’t believe she did this, but it’s half a lie if I do. Emily will do anything at least once if she can convince herself its for the greater good, or progression of science, and she is very good at convincing herself that everything is.

What I really mean is that I can’t believe there was enough of him left to work with.

I said he was coming with us because in the moment it felt like not just the right choice, but like the only choice. For that moment we weren’t... us.

We weren’t standing in her office looking into strange eyes on a familiar face, we were back in the diner. It was the same feeling when I found them, starving and each with a foot on deaths door, and I knew that leaving them behind wasn’t possible.

I know they were both almost grown when we met, and I’ve never once tried to make them think of me as their father but I chose to make them my responsibility and that never changed.

Leaving Isaac to die in that building has felt like I failed at that, and I worry now that bringing his clone back with us has less to do with the clone and more to do with me attempting to assuage that guilt.

Maybe my life has just been a series of failures and attempts at fixing those failures then failing themselves, and it’s just an endless circle I’ll never break free of.

If that’s the case, what was I trying to fix when I found them in that diner?