#and then goes to be heterosexual in the suburbs as it was said little brother's DYING WISH

[destielgaysex]

season 5 of supernatural makes me so fucking upset and crazy and i think thats why i have never rewatched it until now. i am so fucking crazy and also upset. i cant do this

[estherroberts]

june barlowe

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts​​ , @podcastmecaptain, and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today though, it’s @estherroberts especially. (that’s me!)

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

this is one of many individualized advanced PLACEMENT works, for the stories of each character involved. we each picked three kids to write about, and this is the second one of mine! without further ado, here’s june! 

june and her family are from california

specifically, a little suburb outside of los angeles

her childhood as far as she can remember is pretty great

she’s been playing viola since she was little

she has an older brother who plays football, they pretty much stay out of each other’s way

her parents both make a lot of money, but her father gets this wild idea that they absolutely have to move back to the town his grandfather was from, and he and his wife always work from home anyway  

of course, it’s point-of-exile, CO

and to june, it does feel like an exile, because she is leaving everything and everyone behind

june barlowe is 14 years old when they move, and she has lived her life blissfully believing that she is a heterosexual. she does not, in fact, really spend much time thinking about it

sure, there were gays in la. but did she have reason to talk to them? or consider that she might be one? not really

june is tiny her freshman year. tiny and scrappy and already angry, tho at what, sometimes she doesnt even know

it’s the first day, and she’s in orchestra, 6th period. she might be new to the school but she’s been playing viola for years and she knows if she cant make friends anywhere else she’ll at least have the strings

and helen, though new to high school, is not new to the kids, or somehow, the band room, or the teacher

and june is just kinda floored by her, because she’s literally so beautiful and confident and so out of june’s idea of normal that june is just like, what. the fuck.

and helen asks her what she plays and she says viola and helens eyes light up because she heard all the violists graduated and they needed new ones and sorry dear what was your name again

and june says june, and helen says, “that’s my favorite month” and june is just, like, dead

helen asks june to come to lunch with her and they talk about everything and everyone and it doesn’t take long before they already know each other’s life stories and have moved on to gossiping about everyone else

june, because she’s june and she’s cis, puts her foot in her mouth multiple times during the course of this conversation and but helen can see that she’s trying and helen is helen, even at 14, and so she explains something and gently tells june when she’s said something offensive

and june, tho performative in most of her emotions, manages to keep her cool and just nods and takes in helen’s corrections

they become friends really really fast

three months into their friendship they have their first downton abbey tea shit-talking session at helen’s house and it’s the most fun june has ever had

they make it a weekly ritual and alternate between their houses, at first with some raised eyebrows from june’s parents, but they learn to hide their judgement lest they risk incurring june’s already protective fury

or helen’s cool superiority

sophomore year things start to get rough at june’s house

her parents fight all the time and she hides in her room and practices viola as loud as she can so that she doesn’t hear them anymore

but it never works

her older brother sometimes comes into check on her but he’s kind of a stoner so he isn’t too much help

and she gets worse grades and her parents are Disappointed and she gets angrier

she starts having trouble keeping all that anger inside of her

she doesn’t have the motivation or the dedication to work on improving her performance in school, the only thing she wants to do is work on her music

she still has weekly tea with helen, and when she’s done ranting about her parents she listens to helen talk about her first girlfriend, the one who later goes to boarding school

and june starts to wonder if the fluttery feeling that never goes away when she’s with helen is, well, if it’s a crush

because it certainly feels like one

she tries pushing it to the back of her mind

tries to pretend it’s not there but

she can’t really hide it from herself anymore

june’s parents, who could never stand to have a daughter make her career in the arts, push her to take up a sport

she joins track, and meets quentin, and god help her he is the cutest button ever and so smart and she helps him train and he helps her with science and he promises to join orchestra the next year

everyone on the track team ships them

early in june’s junior year, they start going out

he always pulls out chairs and holds open doors for her

he’s always ready with a sarcastic quip under his breath, usually intended for just her ears

he doesn’t flinch away from her sharp edges, literally or metaphorically, and neither is he afraid to be soft around her

and somehow, she kind of relaxes into that

they get along sooo well and there’s a Lot of physical chemistry too and she’s just, she can’t believe she’s lucky enough to be with someone like him, someone as good and generous and stable as him and someone who makes her laugh the way he does and-

and june is happy with quentin, really truly happy

and she tries to tell herself that this is enough, that this is all she needs

it almost works.

but god damn she’s still getting butterflies when helen plays with her hair, or holds her hand, or tells her she’s beautiful

and one afternoon they’re watching like a gay movie or something at helen’s and june is upside down on the couch with her head dangling off and she says “hey, helen”  "yeah?“  "i think i’m bisexual” “that’s delightful!” “thanks”

(a side note here, if you’re wondering how helen sees her best friend june:

in helen’s eyes, june is so so full of life and passionate and she gets invested in everything and she’s impulsive and impatient and furious and so so powerful

and she loves deep and hates deeper and holds grudges and fights terfs and homophobes on the internet and goes after her goals and never holds back

and sometimes, when june’s with quentin, or laying on the couch, her legs in helens lap and clutching a pillow, sometimes, she melts

and helen melts too )

and that’s pretty much it and things proceed as normal for them

and june, who is both literally and figuratively growing into herself (shes v tol now) looks online at all the bisexual resources available to her and consumes them all

she comes out to quentin too and they have a “i’m bi!” “i’m a demi guy!” moment and it brings them a lot closer together

they jump up and down

it’s fucking adorable

more on this in the quentin section

it’s early senior year now and helen and anthony are together and june’s working retail and still doing track and still playing viola and her grades are still less than ideal

and things are still rly hard at home

she can’t sleep because sometimes she hears plates breaking or cabinets getting punched

she wishes there was something she could do to fix things for her family but she can’t think of anything expect to literally plead with them to get a divorce

her brother has moved out and now there is no buffer, any anger her parents harbor at each other gets thrown onto her

so not only do her parents fight with each other, now they’re fighting with her

and then of course,

the mornings are the worst

they are wrought with passive aggressive sugary sweet falsities that make june want to literally rip her hair out

she can hear the venom seeping into her parents voices, she knows they can hear it in each other’s

so why are they pretending everything’s okay?

why??

june doesn’t really deal with any of this well at all

she gets in fights at school a lot, she argues with her teachers

sometimes she just really wants to inflict pain in anyway she can and she doesn’t know why or how and it hurts her too

her friendship with the gang, however, is now fully formed. she loves them all so much? it’s ridiculous to her, that she could care about that many people?? but she does. she so does. even though most of them are so nerdy it physically hurts her.

she is FIERCELY protective of all of them, and so even though she shows no outward affection to most of them, they know she cares

one time some a-hole was talking with his buddies, throwing around all kinds of slurs with regards to esther and bridget

and june just kinda let her fists fly (again)

she got in trouble at home and at school for that

so lately she tries to defend her friends with her words

but it’s so much easier to just sort of, LOOM over assholes until they start crying

at one point, her and quentin both want to try kissing other people but they don’t want to break up so they have what they call The Kissing Week and reported back to each other on the quality of kissing

and eventually, she gathers up the courage to ask him if he’d be down for a poly kinda set up, ever, and he shrugs bc he’s an easy going guy and is like “seriously, that’d be rad, like i love you but if you feel like you want to explore other options go for it”

and she’s like "i love you too, so so much”

and leaves for helen’s

the distance from helen’s to june’s is not a normal person walking distance but june is not a normal person, and she is running after texting quentin to make absolutely sure he’s okay with this harebrained scheme

she has some series of vivaldi concerto playing in her headphones and she’s already halfway there before she notices and she has to stop bc she’s doubled over laughing

and like, she can’t believe she’s really doing this, i mean sure things are kind of already poly on helen’s side, what with the weird nerd thing anthony and sally have so it’s not that she thinks helen will be weirded out by that it’s just that it’s been three years and some change and she’s risking SO much on this and she’s finally saying something, and, vivaldi is still playing

she doesn’t have the heart to change the song after that and so she keeps running

and so she shows up at helen’s and she’s like, one of those gross people who looks more beautiful after they work out

and she takes out her headphones and she’s like, apologizing for being out of breath and helen’s like, “you have a REALLY nice car and you RAN here.”

and june’s like, “i had to????”

and she comes in and helen already has their tea ready and it’s done just the way june likes it and they sit down at the table and june is like, shaking. she won’t even pick up her cup bc she knows it’ll rattle too much

and helen knows something’s up and she doesn’t say anything she just picks up june’s hands and holds them to steady them

and june says “helen, i- i didn’t really think this through, because i don’t think anything through, but, i’m here and i might as well just,”

she takes a deep breath, “i’ve kind of been a little in love with you, like, forever? and it wasn’t until last year that i realized how much and then i was with quentin and then you were anthony and things were really good and i didn’t want to ruin it but then like, it occured to me that it could be possible to have both ? maybe? if you want that? and if not that’s okay and if i tanked my relationship my favorite person in the world i’m so sorry,“

and helen, who has not let go of her hands, is smiling her shining heavenly smile

and she says "darling, it certainly took you long enough”

and june, for the first time in her memory, cries

and they spend the rest of the afternoon cuddled on the couch and they don’t talk as much but helen does text to make sure it’s okay with anthony, who just sends back

“finally”

(ofc helen told anthony that she liked june ages ago. he’s as observant as a brick he had no idea june liked helen too)

(but sort of like how she knew june was bi before june did, she didn’t say anything to her bc june is the kind of person who can’t be told things, she has to go her own way (which is the slow way)))

(but helen is a goddess and she has the patience of a saint so she waited, and boy did it pay off)

additional june things:

june is really good at time management

she’s also very tall- that’s the first thing you notice about her. the second thing you notice is that she’s rich.

you know this because of her sunglasses, her purse, the way she stands, the way she looks down her nose at you like she’s just a litttttle more important than you are

she has a lot of hair. it is long and luxurious and curly and it falls around her face when she pushes her sunglasses to the top of her head

she’s kind of streamlined, like, aerodynamically efficient? like she toned herself to cut through the air and probably your face

she wears her hair down in school and up when she works out and when she is nervous she twirls and twirls and twirls

and her tinted lenses she uses for reading do not come with her to school because she is afraid of exposing weakness

she has greenish blue eyes and she doesn’t break a stare and her eyebrows are always perfect

she dresses half masculine and half feminine

she loves white tank tops and jeans but also

soft floral dresses and blouses

she really likes combat boots

she 100% owns her position as the Dad Friend

bridget got her a shirt that says “Dad Bod on fleek” and she wears it unironically

this also means she does view all her younger friends as her kids and absolutely responds to “dad” or “pops”

she recently developed a close friendship with anthony but neither of them will ever admit that’s what it is

they have, surprisingly, a lot in common

when it gets rough at home they meet at the gym to box

anthony brings gatorade and june brings music

fighting each other is better than getting in fights at school, of course

(helen is the one who made them both get gym memberships and she is quietly very happy that the two of them hang out, even if they’ve never exchanged a single nice word)

one time june tricked anthony into buying three matches from her at five dollars each

one time anthony “accidentally” gave june a black eye

june and sally tolerate each other, which mostly includes them making fun of each other’s heights

her and esther are finally in a good place too

and there is no one better to plan a prank with than jack wyatt

june is still kind of in shock that she’s dating two perfect humans

despite her haughty and conceited attitude she sometimes wonders if she even deserves them

but they remind her that she does and she is happy

though the dynamic is really so different with each one

oh and OF COURSE quentin and helen never have any reason to be jealous of each other

they know that june has enough love to give for both of them