#and then bc i feel inactive i don't understand why I'm so tired. I'm so tired because I'm ALWAYS DOING THINGS.
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thedreadvampy · 11 days ago
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lmao it is undeniably true that I am Depressi Spaghetti but you know. fuck it we continue.
#red said#i am hoping!!!! that this is January Brain speaking#it FEELS as if I've been in an extended depressive episode since like. may or June#but depression is a Filthy Fucking Liar so that may or may not be true#either way it's very tedious. there is no reason for this. i am very loved and cared for. i am doing well. it is just that my brain is soup#SAD AND SELF-LOATHING SOUP#we cannot resist the Soup we can only swim on through#idk it is like. i feel as if i don't exist beyond work i feel like I'm losing myself i feel like I'm very alone#this all FEELS very true even though actually i have many passions i do many things and i am booked to the gills with social engagements#so you know. what's it all about? The Soup. possibly also The Dark.#possibly also also that many people i care about are going through really rough times and I'm kinda. not?#and that's WEIRD both that I'm not and that I've developed like a level of boundaries where people i live going through it#doesn't mean I'm in a constant state of panic.#and slash or. where I'm too depressi spaghetti to have the energy to be there for them#i don't THINK it's that. that's never been a thing for me before really.#but idk i think it's like when i reach the end of my to do list i panic that I've forgotten something vital#i am not panicking and that makes me feel. strange and empty and immobile.#even though in actuality I'm in constant motion like. barely a free moment. but i FEEL static i FEEL inactive#because I'm not in 24/7 crisis mode#and then bc i feel inactive i don't understand why I'm so tired. I'm so tired because I'm ALWAYS DOING THINGS.#but also i do feel kind of. numb. everything is just running past me. except sometimes i feel spasms of grief cause like#I've ended or majorly changed a lot of relationships this past year#but yeah i think the numbness is PROBABLY the January of it all and will PROBABLY lift in March/April#and if it doesn't. well. fuck it. we continue. i am yet young.
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loverlane · 1 year ago
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was about to scream when i didn't find ur blog when i typed in the url but i just forgot a letter...... i'm so stupid............. turns into a blob from despair. BUT BUT ELISE I CAME TO YOU TODAY bc i was gonna read the new jjk chapter but when i opened the website i use i saw a new hq chapter released...... which i thought i was losing it but i forgot THAT FURUDATE WROTE A SIDE STORY !!!!!!!
kenma.......... baby........ sobs look at him
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furudate's art style has definitely changed, it feels ridiculous to say but i SEE IT i swear i do (to think i still notice after all this time without rereading...) his little :< AND HIS RED NOSE FROM THE COLD. in this side story kenma also does on about the match after they lost to karasuno and even then he still hates the thought the match continuing cause he's so tired. (put him to sleep, tuck him in blankets)
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THE LIL "NOYA!!" GAAAAAHHH i miss the way their faces are drawn it's so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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on a final note. meow. that's all i have to say. his hair looks so fluffy, it's so different from high school where it looks like he got electrocuted.....
that's all for my quick report on the new chapter THE MOVIE'S RELEASING SOON i'm gonna need to reread the arc it's covering (i think it's the trash dump showdown) anyway sending kisses <3
(if this doesn't send i will kill myself and send tumblr a letter from the other side)
omg don't worry about me deactivating I will never do that!! even if I'm a little (read: a lot) inactive
AND RIGHT!! THE SIDE STORY!! can you believe we're getting new haikyuu manga content in the year 2024?? That's so fucked up
I'm fucking losing it at getting to see nekoma together again, like those are my little BABIES!! my favorite team always and forever, even if seijoh competes, I'm just so glad they're all together and happy like it brings tears to my eyes
And I kind of see the slight change in art style!! I'm sadly not a manga girl but I own some volumes of haikyuu (I like to look at pictures) and I do see it a little! The red noses are so fucking cute it's taking me out; kenma has every right to be tired too cause holy shit that match?? Yeah I'd take a 12 hour nap after
Also them laughing together despite losing the match, do they know they're my whole world??
AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT ADULT KUROO'S HAIR?? he finally learned how to tame it and though I've always loved his little bird nest, he's even cuter when it's a little under control, like u know what you weirdo I understand why you were always my favorite
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plasmamembranes · 4 months ago
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Why does responding to messages feel so exhausting. Im going to start being very strict with myself about responding to my friends at least nightly bc I'm so lucky to have wonderful understanding people around me who don't let us just float apart as a result of my inaction. And like. They deserve better than that. But also no matter what I've tried it's just sooo tiring I feel like I have one of the most extreme forms of introversion. It's my birthday and so I'm needing to talk to more people than I normally do so I can appropriately express gratitude for them going out of their way to give me well wishes and it's just so unfortunately draining
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cinhomi · 1 year ago
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HI RORA I sent you an ask yesterday about how apparently my ask did not get eaten, just my notifs cause i have your notifs on and tumblr never sent the notif about the ask that got answered-
and then tumblr ate that ask. how ironic.
anyways yes! I am so sorry that I've been inactive sending asks, I got a nasty cough and have been coughing my lungs out for the past few days 💀 it's much better now tho! hope uni has been treating you well (on the other hand here uni can eat my ass-)
yeah small update on moot guy: well a few days ago he said that he'd be occasionally online if he had time to reply to me, and then today he sent me this really long message about how he'd be helping out with his prof and his prof would teach him stuff, so he'd be really busy and he was sorry that he'd be leaving me with nothing. said he'd be thinking of me a ton no matter what. I sent a really short answer bc I wasn't sure what to say. he apologized again and said he was sorry and please don't be mad...I think he's having a panic attack as he posted on his blog. 💀💀 I love him and I wish this isn't ending this way but god if this shit isn't tiring atop my already very loaded plate. at the end, I'm a girlie who believes firmly in equal standing, so there's no point if he'll be gone, I guess. if he won't reach out, then I won't come back.
anyways, enough sad updates here! (skzflix broke my goddamn heart) aside from skz, who's your favourite musical artist? I'm curious 👀
- titracha nonnie :3 (literally copying this ask rn in case tumblr eats it again 😩) (second time sending this ask help)
hi sweetie! I did imagine you sent something but it disappeared again, happy to receive your asks again and to know that you're doing better now 😊 and yeah, I got this one twice but it happens often, don't know why! tomorrow I'll take a day to stay home and work on some projects so hmm it's kicking me hard and it hurts but I'll get through it in a way or another :)
I understand caring about someone and all but we all have limits. you're right and you have to treat yourself like you deserve and yes, we have to respect others but when things get to the point where we are stressed/sad/anxious because of a situation we're in it's time to slow down or stop. it's exacly what you said at the end, "if he won't reach out, then I won't come back" you got straight to the point. I'm sorry this is happening... I already said that I've been in the same situation (more or less, maybe a bit more intricate) and it's a saddening experience. hope you'll be good soon.
skzflix was devastating and I could talk about it endlessly because I love skz lore sm, with all the theories and stuff!!
and you know who makes these things too? Twenty Øne Piløts, my favorite band of all times! been a fan since 2016 and no one could ever take their place... they literally saved my life.
but I listen to all genres of music so I have a pretty long list of artists I like... I generally prefer death metal (yeah I'm serious I'm a metalhead lol), visual-kei, and all that hard/chaotic music. it's actually a very difficult question for me, always, so I generally send my spotify account to people to make them understand a bit!
if I really have to choose someone beside TØP it's Diaura, another band. I can't list anyone else or I'd feel guilty and want to say everyone... take a look at my playlists if you'd like, or at my followings!
if you want to know for k-pop, beside SKZ being my ult group I love BTS, NCT (all units) and recently Ateez too... I'm back from a long break so yeah, I'm starting to know them just now haha (as for girl groups I don't like them too much but I enjoy (G)-Idle and LESSERAFIM a lot). fav korean solist rappers are BewhY, Villain and Gwangil Jo!
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