#and then Poland would probably not recognise it for me anyway? so I would be stuck with two names

[idanit]

ok now i need to know about your niche country-specific jeeves AU

"Every valet takes great pride / in cooking what his husband likes" an edit of a makatka by @maidblues

(You've probably forgotten about sending this ask. I almost forgot I had a reply sitting in my drafts.)

This is incredibly niche and very hard to do for numerous reasons, but I've been thinking about a Polish Jeeves AU for a good while now. I'm not the best person to come up with the best way to cut almost all politics out from a story set in the 1920s in a country that has just become sovereign and is about to go through some further enormous transformations, so I'm not going to try very hard. Wodehouse's stories already take place in an idyllic sort of fantasy on the theme of interwar and postwar Britain, so I suppose a Polish AU would have to just lean into that even harder.

(Polish aristocracts lost their legal protections in 1921, but let's not think about it too much. Don't think about how you could possibly make "Comrade Bingo" work in a post-1920 Poland either. Etc., etc.)

So we've established that this would have to be some sort of barely recognisable fairytale Poland. But something in me is compelled by the idea of trying this out anyway because there are not a lot of wodehousian stories in Polish literature of the time. Not a lot of comedy without other genres mixed in in general. And one does wonder what it would look like.

Names are tricky. I want Bertram to be Bartłomiej or Bartosz (Bartek in the diminutive). @maidblues likes to give him the surname of Kogucik (rooster) and I toyed with the idea of giving him the Kur (another word for rooster) crest.

As for Jeeves's name, his case is more complicated because as far as I know servants in Poland were usually called by their masters by their first name, and the most common servant (as well as Polish in general) name would probably be Jan. So I'm tempted to make Reginald Jeeves a Jan Regulski or a Jan Reguła (reguła means "a rule").

This choice has the advantage of turning the "Jeeves?" / "Yes, sir?" exchange into "Janie?" / "Tak, jaśnie panie?". It rhymes. I find this amusing.

Servants at the time were overwhelmingly female, especially those who worked alone and for a single person/household, but we're going to ignore that.

Bertie is an aristocrat living in Warsaw, since it's the capital city, but his family is from some Mazovian dworek (manor house).

Aristocracy was not quite as much of an exclusive club as it was in Britain (some historians say it made up 10% of Polish society). Bertie probably says his ancestors fought at Grunwald, but he would likely bring up the Romanticism and the XVII century a lot as well, because they were as alive in the Polish public consciousness of the time as Middle Ages were in the mind of a certain kind of Englishman. Bertie could lean into something commonly called "the pride of the Sarmatians" (duma sarmacka).

Bertie's school is important. Everything depends on this, I think — Bertie's language, his friends, his club. Wealthy aristocrats did send their children abroad sometimes, so he could even have a typical British public school education even if he'd be unlikely to attend Eton and Oxford, specifically, but this feels like a cop-out, so I'm going to assume he was a student at some Polish university and not think about it too much lest I get caught up in the timelines of what university in what partition of Poland it would make sense for him to attend.

Bertie's way of speaking. My heart wants to make Bertie use some elements from the Warsaw subdialect because it's very fun and it would fit him, but regrettably, I think it's too working-class for him. I am fascinated by the idea of Bertie borrowing words from German and Russian in addition to French, though. He'd probably make use of some form of gwara uczniowska (student slang), too.

And Jeeves could know the Warsaw subdialect well, even if he would probably not use it while speaking to the members of the aristocracy (I'm pretty sure an early version of canon Jeeves spoke with a subtle Cockney accent, calling Bertie "guv’nor"). I wanted to make him a Warsaw local, perhaps with some family in the countryside, perhaps in the former Prussian partition, since I think the level of literacy was higher there and I need a way for Jeeves to have a chance of getting some education.

The Drones. There were no gentlemen's clubs, so I think the Drones would have to be a coffeehouse, a restaurant, or a szynk / pub called "Truteń"/"U Trutnia"/"Pod Trutniem". It's a significant change because they were not exclusive places, but it's the best I can think of. Coffeehouses in particular had a rich tradition as cultural places where people spent hours and hours on discussions. I think a Polish equivalent of a Drones Club could even serve as a tongue-in-cheek satire on artistic groups like Skamandryci. The Polish Drones would just have to take their gambling elsewhere. (@maidblues came up with another name for a Drones-like place that served food: Darmozjad. I love the pun — the word means someone useless, lit. someone who eats for free.)

As for the Junior Ganymede (Ganimedes), I think it would be a stowarzyszenie (club/society) without its own venue. Its members would probably meet at regular conventions. Here, I see an opportunity of some comedic nods to the tradition of "zjazdy", which in the centuries past were politically significant meetings of the aristocracy.

Bertie sings Mieczysław Fogg's songs.

Jeeves knows quotes from Mickiewicz and Słowacki (Polish Romantic poets) by heart.

Bertie is bi/multillingual enough to run off to Paris instead of New York City every now and then. Not quite putting an ocean between you and your aunt, but far enough for Ciotka Agata not to follow him.

I'm unlikely to ever finish writing anything for Jeeves in Polish, so, to finish things off, have this contextless excerpt from some draft of mine:

Mam na myśli tyle tylko, że podczas półtygodniowego pobytu, w którym jaśnie panowi udało się wpaść do sadzawki, zaręczyć, zostać pogryzionym, rozsierdzić Spodkowskiego i obrazić trzy stateczne matrony, choć nie dokładnie w tej kolejności, Jan ocalił mój ulubiony garnitur (bez krawata), zgrabnie mnie odręczył, opatrzył i odwiózł do Warszawy, a skroni jego nie zrosiła nawet mgiełka potu. Wspaniały człowiek. Obsypałem go, rzecz jasna, pewną ilością marek, ale wydawało mi się to zgoła niewystarczające. Dusza moja śpiewała, wolna jak ptak bez obrączki, a mój wybawca miał z tego tylko trochę świstków papieru, które i tak natychmiast wyśle rodzinie spoza stolicy — znałem go doskonale.

[wandixx]

I'm not sure if I know full context here (I know enough to say this flag is great) but some countries have amazing and interesting flags (Greece is pretty, Nepal is super cool (they played with shape!), Macedonia is great (like Alexander III, you got this? *awkward jazz hands*) and Man Island makes me question things but you can't say it's not interesting)

But, for some reason I feel need to infodump, so here it comes

Flags are symbols of of countries/states/cities/whatever, that have to be easily recognized preferably no matter what size they are. In this department, this flag is doing amazing job.

However, unlike coat of arms (I hope it's the right word), flag doesn't simply hang on the wall is sew on a pocket over the heart or whatever. Flag is hung on a flagpole and has to serve it's purpose of being recognisable even on windless days when it's all sad and sagging. If I recall correctly, Czech flag is good example of what parts are visible enough to be recognized and work as a flag even if there is no wind. Though I'm not sure and I'm to lazy to look it up right now.

However, there are multiple flags that say "fuck it" to the previous paragraph altogether (Fidji, China, Montenegro, Slovenia and Slovakia I guess) or to the previous, previous one (Slovenia and Slovakia fit here too, USA, Liberia and Malaysia look like three kids that copy homework from each other but change it enough to pass under "we had the same question" excuse BUT, have you seen the absolute shit show of Monaco, Indonesia, Singapore and Poland flags?! I mean, let's give Singapore credit for moon and stars thing and Poland for 180 but Monaco and Indonesia are literally the same thing, I think they even have same proportions (I'm not sure if everywhere but I'm like 70% sure in my country it's sanctioned by law what are our flag's proportions), how do they want people to recognize it?! It's not even copying each other's homework, it's straight up printing photocopy of you friends essay, glueing to your notebook and expecting it'll pass!)

I think I got weirdly worked up on this topic and I don't even really care hah

Anyway, so while there are some rules that should be respected when creating a flag, as we all know, rules are made to be broken and no flag can be worse that third one of state of Georgia (there is at least one worse but I don't have enough brainpower to look it up right now), so this is pretty good flag and could probably be used.

Sorry for jumping to assumptions, but if this is a flag you made for fantasy/sci-fi world I would say go for it, it's awesome

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk or something

The fact that this flag isn't sweeping is a travesty to me. It could use maybe a little bit of work but it's really good and looks east to make too. Those other ones just look so bland and corporate to me. Why do flags always have to be minimalist??

[bondsmagii]

Do you genuinely belive that people deserve to be happy no matter what's happening in the world? I just, like, never heard that before. I mean, everyone it's always trying to convince you that you should care about the world more than you care about yourself and It just gets internalized like I genuinely gave up a career as small business owner to focus on enviromental sciences bc I felt so much guilt over not doing something for climate change and everyone like supported that choice

This whole conversation with the anon remembers me of my own little paranoia when I read the poem "you must love the mutilated world" because all I could think about was how easier it was to me (white, middle class, american) to love the world than everyone else. It's crazy how guilt does leak into everyday things. I never even thought about that like it's something bad it was always framed as something you should be doing like you don't have permission to be happy while the whole world suffers (and its something you see all the time in social media too! Like, it's crazy!) Anyway very interesting topic don't know how to digest it tho probably will continue to feel immeasurable waves of useless giref

I do believe that, yes. I don't believe that we should live in denial of the problems in the world, but I see no point in living in misery. it gets nothing done, it isn't productive, and unless we are actively, consciously, and blatantly contributing to the world's problems, a lot of it is stuff we're not to blame for. should we still help? yes. but should we act like we're on the same level as the billionaires and warmongers who are actively causing and profiting from the pain of others? don't be ridiculous.

also, while we're on the subject: Try to Praise the Mutilated World is my all-time favourite poem. I don't lecture people on their own interpretations of art, but I thought I might provide some extra context. the poem's author is a man named Adam Zagajewski, and he was born in 1945 in Lwów, Poland (now Lviv, Ukraine). you might recognise the date as the end of the Second World War, but you might not recognise the town. this town was one of the most hotly contested and affected parts of Europe in the lead-up to, and the aftermath of, the war. so affected were the citizens that the men who helped create the terms "genocide" and "crime against humanity" in a legal sense for the first time were from here (they did this for the purpose of the Nuremberg trials). Zagajewski would have undoubtedly grown up with the horror of war shadowing his every move and haunting the memories of his family. he would have seen the widespread damage and grief, and homes abandoned or left empty in the wake of the countless Jews from the town who were exiled and murdered. he himself also suffered hardships under the communist rule the country was under during his lifetime, including familial exile and censorship. he protested against the government rule and was punished for it, even having to leave his country for long periods of time.

this is a man who a lot of people with your attitude would deem as a person who has "really" suffered, and is a "real" victim. and he says that regardless of what is going on, you must praise this world. you must love it. you must see the beauty in everything, even the "abandoned homesteads of exiles". you must create good times, so you can hold onto them in the tough times and the bad times. the poem is saying that you must see the beauty in the world before you can begin to heal it, because a person mired in guilt and misery is no good for the work of healing. look at the things he tells you to remember and to enjoy when you have them. he mentions "June's long days", "wild strawberries", "drops of rosé wine". the poem tells you to face the reality of the world and hold fast against it; love the world regardless and do what you can. how such a beautiful poem could be used by you to feel such guilt is such a shame. this is a poem written for everyone struggling with the reality of the world, and indeed it became widespread famous after it circulated following 9/11. in a world full of new horror, a horror many people had never experienced before, it was this poem that resonated -- that no matter the horror out there, we must love this world and seize happiness where we can.

this is a prime example of art being for everyone. if you want to use this poem as another way to uselessly beat yourself up, I can't stop you. but I hope you rethink. you seem unhappy living like this, and you seem to understand it's an impossible way to live. you can choose something better. you can try to praise the mutilated world, to go back to the running theme. you can allow yourself small joys and let yourself see the beauty here. you can learn to do what you can and rest knowing that's enough.

[thefloatingstone]

You got me curious, where did the "Keep calm and ___" come from? I've always seen the meme but I never knew there was a not meme-y origin

Let’s be real, ya’ll knew I wanted to explain this XD

The very most originalslogan for the meme/design was “Keep Calm and Carry On” and was a poster which looked like this

The poster was produced by the British government in 1939 in preparation for World War II.

The poster was produced to reassure and motivate the British general public who, by 1939, was well aware of the growing unrest in Europe and Nazi Germany’s expansion. Despite what many history books say, WWII “officially” started in 1941 after Hitler invaded Poland, but there was trouble YEARS before that and many countries were at war with Germany a few years earlier than the Allies. (going against treaties signed by Germany in an attempt to AVOID war breaking out due to Hitler’s expansion. This was due to the fact that Europe had just HAD a massive war with WWI which ended in 1918 and Europe and England were trying to avoid another massive war breaking out. That s kind of its own little history lesson so I’ll cut it short).

The point is, Hitler began his invasion of neighbouring countries around 1933 or so (my dates are not the best and its been a few years since I checked the exact numbers but I believe he was sworn in as Chancellor in 1931 and started his campaign of Nazi expansion in 1933 or so. I could be wrong but I really can’t go down a WWII rabbit hole right this second so please google the exact dates on your own)

the point IS… England was well aware of Germany being a problem well before 1941 when WWII “officially” began by the Allied countries declaring war on Germany and its invaded countries and allies. By 1939, England was aware that war most likely was inevitable and had predicted that England would be victim to massive air strikes from Germany.

The point of the poster was to appeal to the British mass public, and its essentially message was “Don’t panic. Keep living your lives as normal. Just keep moving forward.”

The poster was not used en masse and only rarely actually displayed during WWII but it did appear publicly a few times during the war.

Some people have criticised the poster as being a little Orwellian, because it could be seen as trying to lull the British populace into a false sense of security, or telling them to ignore the massive growing problem in Europe.

However, I feel (and many historians seem to agree with me) that the poster was appealing to the tradition British mentality of “stiff upper lip” and resilience during times of adversity. It’s essentially telling people not to lose their minds and go apeshit, but to keep going, don’t crumble into despair, and move forward.

it IS propaganda, make no mistake, but I think what most people forget is that “Propaganda” is not a positive or negative concept. It is a neutral concept that very most often gets used for negative reasons, and so it has been given a negative connotation. But propaganda at its core, is defined as

“Denoting ideas or information as a means to advance a cause.”

I for one HATE inaccuracy, but let it be known that it is in how Propaganda is USED that makes it negative or positive. All Propaganda is used to try and influence or control the populace, but it is to what GOAL you are trying to influence the populace. Unfortunately MOST of the time that goal is simply “Don’t question the people in power”. But in this case? The goal was simply “Do not panic”, for better or worse.

My point is one should look at the REASONS a piece of propaganda exists rather than say “it is Propaganda. Therefor it is bad”.

Hell, “Love Wins” is a piece of propaganda. We just don’t call it that despite it literally fitting the term because we’ve been so taught that “Propaganda” is a bad thing due to how groups and governments have abused it in the past.

But I’m rambling now. You can disagree with me on my propaganda thing and I completely understand, I’m just trying to give context.

Back to the poster!

The poster actually has 2 sister posters to go with it which did NOT become a meme for reason I can’t IMAGINE as to why~

and the far less noble one which is more in line with traditional propaganda

Anyway, the poster wasn’t widely used and didn’t become as recogniseable as the WWI “I want YOU for the US Army” poster, but it was discovered in an old bookstore in 2000 where, after getting hung up behind the register, it gained massive attention so the owner started selling merchandise for it (coffee mugs etc etc).

And from there and further spreading it became the meme it eventually ended up being.

The reason I find this insulting is not so much that it was so widely used, as it is that it was so widely used with SO FEW PEOPLE knowing its original roots and reason for existing.

I’m all for re-interpreting propaganda in new ways and for the transformative use of art… but I can’t help but cringe a little on the inside when I see a poster meant to calm a troubled populace in the face of dictatorship growing in Europe used like this…

or

Where the “Keep Calm” is complete irrelevant to the phrase and the structure of the meme is used ONLY to express how you are a “fan” of something. Whether that be for a movie, video game or some kind of media, to things like having a certain dog breed, havng a hobby like dancing or horse riding, or even just plain “Shopping” because wimmin be like-

I am all for transformative work using old design and art pieces transformed into something new by bringing a new perspective. Hell that’s what a large part of modern art IS. Reinterpretation, transforming, deconstruction, re-inventing. That’s a GIANT part of art…

but…. this went far and beyond that. This went from transforming old art concepts for a modern age by redefining them and went straight to “unfunny meme based on a period of real historical suffering”.

And it’s probably not really THAT big a deal… but that doesn’t change the fact that to me personally, I found it insulting. And I’m glad it’s died.

[13reasonstoeatthatcake]

Neil and languages

Neil knowing two languages other than English is already impressive, as I'm sure everyone is aware, but the fact of the matter is, for someone who'd supposedly hid all over the world from his mafioso father, I'm afraid German and French are... woefully inadequate in helping him blend in.

(Just to be clear, Nora Sakavic has absolutely made a masterpiece and I'd never dream of creating something as amazing as the All For The Game trilogy. It's just that I'm a language nerd and also from (Eastern) Europe, and I love forcing my own interests and experiences on characters, and as Neil is one of the only trilingual characters I've ever seen in media I can't pass up on the opportunity to make him a polyglot.)

So, without further ado, I present to you: the languages Neil Josten has had to use while on the run, a very long list of HCs.

English: since it's (presumably) Neil's mother language, he has the most practice with switching dialects in English. Neil can do almost every English accent that he's come across, which is helpful for when he needs to blend in a country where the official language is English (USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand are most frequent but he's also had to do it in India and Malaysia. Not UK, for obvious reasons, and pretending to be tourists in Europe can only hold up for so long)

German: German accents are ridiculous, but significantly easier to pull off than English accents. The Austrian and Hessen accents in particular are hellish for me, but knowing Neil he probably has them all down pat. You can maybe use German outside of Germany, Switzerland and Austria, especially in France and Italy where a lot of people learn German rather than English, but up north? Yeah, no, there it's either one of the holy trinity Danish/Norwegian/Swedish or English. We're not even mentioning Finnish, oh no. A lot of people in Egypt speak German as their third language, as well as Poland and other West/South Slavic nations, but then you risk standing out as that foreign German mother and son combo, which, no. Speaking of German, though,

Yiddish: Is a language very close to German, as in close enough that even I, who can hardly understand German, gets the gist of it. Even if Mary was not a practicing Jew, or knew Hebrew or another dialect better, it's an easy language to pick up when you have German as a base and also creates a fuller backstory. The downside to that is that it's recognisable that a Jewish, Yiddish mother and son combo are walking around, so maybe it's used in rare occasions.

Arabic: I actually hc Mary's family immigrated from Israel years ago and since they both look vaguely Arab/'eastern' enough to pass, and since in the books Neil says they spent some time in Dubai, they've probably had to learn some Arabic. They probably learned Modern Standard Arabic, and depending on how long they stayed in a country, they adapted it to the local dialect. (Arabic dialects vary from each other about as much as Chinese dialects do, aka A Lot. They probably used the excuse that nobody would understand their mother dialect and that's why they communicate in MSA only, but again, no matter how common that is it would still make them paranoid about standing out and so they'd move quickly.) A lot of Arabic countries however also speak a lot of

French: honestly, out of all the languages Neil speaks this is probably the hardest one because French people are fucking judgemental when you fuck up even a slight thing, ergo there's a higher risk of them being revealed because of 'oh yeah, mother and son, their French was horrendous'. French is spoken in Switzerland, Morocco and other Arabic countries, Québec, the whole of French Polynesia, also a lot of Slavic countries under the rule of USSR, but that's the older folks.

Serbian: As much as I'd like to get my favourite character to speak my mother language, I'm certain if Mary had to choose a Slavic language (other than Russian, which in official(?) post-canon Neil learns with Andrew) to learn it would have been Serbian, because it comes in a three-way package deal with fluency in Bosnian and Croatian, which makes it a lot easier to disappear. Additionally, it gives a good understanding of how other Slavic languages work, and it's only a matter of some tweaking to pretend to speak another Slavic language entirely. As someone from the literal only Slavic language that doesn't use cases, I understand up to 80% of every South Slavic and East Slavic language, and if somebody informs me of what roughly is going on, I can understand up to 70% of every West Slavic one as well. Neil and his mother might not have learned Russian, but Serbian is a must, especially since they'd blend in better with us Balkan folk than the more northern countries. Countries Serbian can be used in, with some minor tweaking: Serbia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Bulgaria, Macedonia, Albania, Greece, Turkey, Romania, Slovenia, Slovakia, alongside almost all of Europe if they decide to act as immigrants or tourists (this last point counts for every language on this list, by the way)

Spanish: Spanish is the third most spoken language in the world after Chinese and English (if we're talking native speakers). There is literally no continent where it isn't spoken. While they would need to tweak their accents and such, the entirety of South America, Mexico, Cuba, the Phillipines and some African countries are all ideal places to hide. Portugese, I know, is an entirely different language, but not that hard to get the knack of once you have Spanish as a base, and it's the same thing with Italian.

Languages Neil and his mother haven't learned, even though they've hidden in the countries: a rough overview. (Note: though he hasn't learned them, Neil still probably had to memorise a set list of phrases well enough to sound fluent, but shy.)

Any northern European language. Mary was insistent they don't waste time or effort on non-essential or one-note languages; Dutch, Norwegian and Swedish are only useful in small parts of Europe and Africa, and speaking Afrikaans in Africa is a good way to get noticed, so they didn't learn that. Same thing with Finnish, Latvian, Estonian, Lituanian. They had some basic understanding of Belarussian and Russian thanks to Serbian, but nothing more.

Any African language. While Swahili is spoken all thorough Africa, it's not the language barrier that makes it hard to blend in but the colour of their skin, ergo almost the whole continent is out.

Indian languages. They'd only hidden in big cities, so people knew English, and Hindi is too complicated to learn when you're moving through so many different dialects and other, completely different languages.

Any and all languages in the Caucasus region. Those are hard to speak or learn, and they don't stay long there anyway. A lot of people there speak Russian as their second language, as well as people from Central Asia (Kazakhstan, Mongolia, etc) but again, they don't spend much time there.

Turkic languages. They learned a bit in Turkey, but again, it's not useful enough, and the dialect variations are too big without a common dialect to bind them together like Arabic had. Same thing with Greek or Albanian.

Any East Asian languages. Two non-Asians speaking any East Asian language causes too much attention.

For now, this is all I’ve got on the ‘polyglot Neil’ front. If I ever decide to include something else, it’s probably not going to be as long!

Polish. The name ‘Wesninski’ sounds Polish, if nothing else (I couldn’t find an etymology that wasn’t connected to this series) and there’s supposed to be a lot of Polish immigrants in Baltimore, so I think if Nathan Wesninski ever knew Polish, Mary would never want to hear the language again, and even if he had no connection to his Polish roots, she still would associate the language with him. Maybe Neil would one day decide to learn it, but until then it’s probably just another thing that reminds him of his father.

Bonus round:

If we're disregarding what Nora said while answering questions on tumblr and instead bend to the laws of logic, Mary and Neil would have learned Russian because it's literally THE lingua franca of Eastern Europe. It doesn't matter if you're in Bulgaria, Georgia or Kazakhstan, you speak Russian and people naturally assume you're here for work. However, I love andreil more than I love being this petty, so ig them learning Russian together is cute enough to make me forget the logistic nightmare this is.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: So, you got your room 🙌 What other wins did freshers bring you? 😄 Amelia: Yeah, thank god Amelia: it's been full on enough without adding travel sickness Jac: Never going to fly when class starts either Jac: it's just slightly more inventive than coming down with the 'flu' every Monday morning, but not enough Amelia: bit intense to start crashing on my new friends floors too, I don't want to be THAT gay Jac: 😂 Jac: I doubt they'd mind Jac: but having a base that isn't totally covered in crochet decor is a plus Amelia: now that freshers is over and they're going to 🤞 they never see those hook ups again maybe Amelia: still, not the first impression I'm trying to make Jac: Oh God, tell me about it Jac: I am not trying to have people I've got to avoid for the next 7 odd years Jac: not trying to make it like home like that Amelia: very relatable Amelia: even though I have no need to count that high Jac: Is your course 3? or 4? Amelia: depends if I want to go to Canada, Denmark, Italy, Poland, Sweden, USA or the UK for a year Jac: Oh wow Jac: 🦪 Amelia: that emoji is the gayest Amelia: so yeah probably Jac: Very O'Keefe of you Jac: can't give up the 🎨 quite yet? Amelia: 😂 Jac: I've met THE perfect girl for you, oh my GOD Amelia: because I'm going to travel to Edinburgh for 🦪 after dodging a 3 hour commute Jac: She's American, you could convince her Cork has a lot to offer beside 🦪 Jac: but actually, she is UNBEARABLE, and I'm trying very hard to be nice and give everyone a chance rn Jac: she does Art History, despite the fact she seems to know less about art than I do Jac: doesn't stop her 🔊 Amelia: 💔 you put your mean girl years behind you too soon, I'm SO proud though Amelia: and I'm sure Savannah appreciates it just as much Jac: 😏 I can feel the sincerity Jac: I know though, talk about completely crazy Amelia: if you want sincerity I can totally believe she'd follow you there as if nothing happened Amelia: are you okay? Jac: I think the prestige probably beat the off-chance I'd also be there but I appreciate the belief Jac: Yeah, actually, I am Jac: it went well, better than I could've or would've imagined before Amelia: alright, that's a relief Amelia: not that it's been playing on my mind or anything since the ✨ livened up my feed Jac: I would've got in touch sooner Jac: It did cross my mind, that you'd see Jac: I also didn't wanna encroach on your freshers' experience at all, that idea won out Jac: It must've been a shock for you and all Amelia: I get it, because likewise obviously Amelia: plus you seemed like you were coping, and it's not the same as before, you have people to go to now if you aren't so Amelia: I don't know, it seemed too dramatic to come at you all !!!!!! Amelia: which is why I didn't Jac: I wouldn't have bitten your head off Jac: but I see and appreciate that logic Jac: not to mention previous experience would say I actually would so Jac: She's changed a lot too, in those 2 years Amelia: good Jac: Yeah, turns out she had a pretty rough time of it too Jac: which, obviously, but I wasn't really in a space to think too much about that back then Amelia: was likely to be more 🥀 than 🌹 living with her dad, and everything that happened with her mum Amelia: I'm not surprised even if I couldn't be very sympathetic then Jac: I can't believe I was zoned out Jac: I didn't even know about her mum Amelia: you had loads of your own shit going on, it'd be more unbelievable if you were tuned into hers Amelia: I didn't know how bad it was, or didn't want to hear it, whichever Jac: Jess made it sound like the world and his wife knew Jac: I feel awful Jac: but her mum is doing better now, and they're trying to mend their relationship, so, that's positive Amelia: it always feels like that in my 🏠 but I would've told you if I'd realised Jac: It isn't your fault remotely Jac: like you said, sympathy about it wasn't at the forefront of your mind Jac: and you can't be blamed there Amelia: I'm genuinely glad things are getting better, the last thing she needs is to feel like shit for leaving her mum again if they aren't Jac: I know you are, you aren't a monster Jac: even if you and Savannah had your differences, and the obvious situation from there 'til now Amelia: that's enough sincerity though, the last thing I need is Savannah Moore trying to be my friend again Amelia: you can keep her Jac: 😂 Alright Jac: about that though Jac: things have changed, between us too Amelia: okay Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: Well, I told her, this time Jac: that I'm not straight Jac: and neither is she Amelia: she really has fucking changed Jac: She hasn't also come out, there's no label on it or anything Jac: but she likes me back Jac: you deserve to know, and would, regardless of where we were in our relationship Jac: I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear though Amelia: thanks, I guess Amelia: for not waiting for the 💍 announcement Jac: Things haven't moved quite that fast Jac: although, yeah Jac: I know Amelia: It's still Savannah, I doubt she's had a TOTAL personality transplant Amelia: you probably wouldn't like her if she had Amelia: so I'll keep an eye out for that post and put my congrats on it Jac: No, she's still her Jac: and I doubt her plans include a 💍 that could be bought on a student budget Amelia: true Amelia: I'll send some 💐 she'd NEVER put in the 🗑 Amelia: just the 💌 I'll actually bother to write, you know, like a normal person Jac: There goes the mystery Amelia: because of course you wouldn't recognise my handwriting Jac: I've checked your homework over enough times Jac: I doubt anyone else is rushing to send us a bouquet so Jac: process of elimination Amelia: there you go then Jac: but I have told my brother and that Jac: on the off-chance you catch him and he's dying not to bring it up Amelia: bit rude of him not to try and gently break the news Jac: Assumedly either thinking I've imagined the whole thing all over, or it'll all fizzle out before there's any need to go there Amelia: or I'm thriving so hard there's no need to bring me down 1 week in Jac: Obviously that too Jac: but you know that wasn't my intention, yeah Amelia: it's obvious you're not thinking about me, don't worry Jac: Okay Jac: do you want me to leave you now? Amelia: Why would I want that? Jac: Plenty of valid reasons Jac: to process, to not, you just don't feel like talking to me at this precise moment Amelia: what's to process? the bit about her not queerbaiting you the entire time is new, the rest isn't Jac: That's not nothing Jac: it changes the whole thing Amelia: not for me Jac: Alright then Amelia: you were hung up on her every second, what's changed for you is that was a least a bit mutual Amelia: I don't need to process any of that, it doesn't involve me Jac: It's still new information, that's all Amelia: not really Amelia: I probably should have guessed anyway Jac: If I didn't, I don't see how you could've Jac: she didn't even then so Amelia: too late to become a 🔮💎💫 gay, I hear you Jac: 🕵 is definitely a better idea Amelia: maybe I'd just really love to be able to say 'it's just a phase, mum' about something Jac: You've had plenty Amelia: name one Jac: [that boy band I said they liked lol] Jac: for starters Amelia: that wasn't a phase that was me lying that I cared Jac: yeah, okay Jac: you knew all the lyrics 'cos you cover was so deep Jac: no need to lie, they had some tunes Amelia: I knew all the lyrics because there was about 5 lines repeated over and over Jac: uh-huh Jac: you had badges all over your school bag Amelia: because you've never fully committed to a lie, oh wait Jac: There's no need to be a bitch Amelia: 😂 Jac: No, I'm not super ready to laugh about that time in my life, as it goes Amelia: okay Jac: I'm going to leave you to it now Jac: Good luck with your first proper day, hope it all goes well Amelia: actually wait though Amelia: I didn't mean that Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: Alright Jac: I know you're upset, or pissed off Jac: but being a better person doesn't extend to being a punching bag for you to get that out Jac: you can feel it, obviously, but that's just unproductive for you, and not gonna happen from my end Amelia: I know Jac: and I know that's what I did to you Jac: so it probably seems fair, or justified at least, that you get to now Jac: but it wasn't right, and an eye for an eye, you know Amelia: no, it's not fair, I wasn't being, that's why I'm sorry Jac: You don't need to stoop to my lowest Amelia: I'm trying, okay Jac: Yeah Jac: and I accept your apology Amelia: thanks Jac: should I not have told you? Amelia: I think that'd be worse Jac: I thought the same Jac: unless you were going to block me on the sly, then you would have seen Amelia: maybe I should now, I don't know Jac: If you want to Jac: to take some time Jac: or more permanently Jac: it's up to you Jac: obviously my offer of being friends still stands but I understand Jac: as I said, this changes things Amelia: yeah, if we let it Jac: You can't help how this makes you feel Amelia: but why should I let her take everything again? Jac: Savannah isn't actively doing that Jac: but if you want to keep trying, so do I Amelia: we worked hard at getting here, me and you, that's not about her Jac: True Jac: You don't have to be friends with her now, that's not it Jac: just accept that she's my girlfriend, and a big part of my life Amelia: does she know? Jac: About what happened between us? Jac: No Jac: she doesn't know a huge amount about those two years, for me Jac: I plan to tell her everything Jac: but it's a lot to throw at her in a sitting, especially unasked, you know Amelia: it'd really fuck with her freshers, for sure Jac: Right Jac: all for having the hard but necessary conversations Jac: but there's a time and a place Jac: I don't want her to feel like I'm trying to make her feel bad for me, either Jac: like 'look what YOU did' because nah Amelia: too 🥀🥀🥀 Amelia: it can wait, neither of you are going anywhere Jac: That's my logic Amelia: she'll get why you waited Jac: I hope so Amelia: come on, it'll be harder for you to say than it'll be for her to hear, she's a LOT of things, but she won't want you to go through that before you're ready to Jac: You're right Jac: it just feels like secrets, and that feels like 10 steps back Jac: but it isn't that Amelia: I'm sure even she hasn't had time to tell you everything, she'd need to be chatting non stop Jac: True Jac: if you're ever done talking about yourself and your life, that's gotta be a sign you need to get out more, right Jac: there's always more to say Amelia: right Amelia: stop being so virgo-ish about it and give yourself a break Jac: 😂 okay Jac: I just need lectures to actually start Jac: so I can freak out on that instead Amelia: same Jac: are you more 😁 or 😱 Amelia: 😕 Amelia: over 😣 Jac: You'll be fine Jac: let me know how it goes though Jac: I'm interested Amelia: okay 🤓 Jac: Well there's a lot of overlap Jac: obviously, you can usually do them as a double discipline but I wanted to go pure Psych Jac: doesn't mean I'm not 🤔 Amelia: yeah Jac: 🤏🤓 fine Amelia: we're not strangers Jac: I remember Jac: so, what are your new mates like then? Amelia: great, obviously Jac: It's a good thing you aren't taking English Jac: that description leaves a lot to be desired Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Isn't there anyone in particular? Amelia: there's a whole course full of people Jac: Yeah, I like one of my profs, he's really cool Jac: but I don't know anyone on my course that well yet either, they all seem nice enough though Amelia: of course you do Jac: it's so refreshing in comparison to the teachers at our school Jac: even if he acted like a base level human, it'd be a step up Jac: but he knows his stuff, and he's down to help me get ahead, what more could I want Amelia: literally nothing Jac: But I'm still not into dudes so I won't commit that cliche, don't worry Amelia: a real weight off my mind Jac: sure Amelia: 😏 Jac: I've already done loads of prep Jac: can basically chill in his class this whole term Amelia: you can but you won't Amelia: 🤓🏆⭐ Jac: we're not strangers Amelia: maybe we are 🤏 because reading's the only prep we were given but I've already done it Jac: Not really Jac: you just pretended you weren't 🤓 Amelia: no, I just actually wasn't 🤓 about school Jac: plenty of other things Jac: you can't hide the 🤓 Amelia: it's not 😳 I literally can Jac: not from me Amelia: that'd be 10 steps back Jac: try 10000 Amelia: no thank you, that sounds exhausting Jac: you've got a 🛏 Amelia: yeah, I don't know who's more thrilled, me or my dad Amelia: getting to pretend he's allergic to pets for another year at least Jac: result Jac: won't have to fake seduce him on your behalf either Jac: I'm most thrilled Amelia: Savannah is Amelia: undoubtedly Jac: Yeah, that ain't something I ever want to explain 😂 Amelia: she'd be less understanding about it Jac: None of us are understanding that Jac: sorry to your father Amelia: 😂 Jac: I think your mum would snap Jac: go full psycho Amelia: probably Amelia: they're very 😍🥰😘 right now Jac: that's nice Jac: bit gross but good Jac: she won't call you every 10 minutes Amelia: she can try but I won't answer Amelia: the friend I like best will be here soon Jac: Sounds promising Jac: I'll leave you to it for now, for real Jac: you better get ready Amelia: you're so Amelia: you Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: I don't need 👗👠💄 Jac: what's that, a humblebrag? Amelia: hardly Amelia: it's a compliment for you, you're cute for caring Jac: It's not cute, I just like to look nice Amelia: oh so you don't think I look nice? Amelia: rude Jac: everyone looks better for effort Jac: that's simple facts Amelia: anyway, I meant it's cute you care about my social life this much Jac: because I really need you being a loner to worry about Jac: no tah Jac: obviously I'm happy for you Amelia: you don't need to worry about me whatever happens Jac: It's not optional Amelia: okay Jac: I never stopped Amelia: you can stop now Jac: That's just what being friends is Amelia: I'm no expert Amelia: have to take your word for it, if anything Jac: I know you care about me too Amelia: but you're thriving so I don't have to worry Jac: I guess Jac: it's not just for the bad times though, is it Amelia: I hope not Jac: it's not Jac: come on Jac: pull yourself together and at least do 1 out of 3 👗👠💄 Amelia: fine, I'll put shoes on Jac: that's what I like to hear Amelia: 🙄 just because I'm ignoring my mum there's no need for you to take over from her Jac: I still can't do any handicrafts so unlikely Amelia: Savannah is unlikely to wear a homemade 🧣 so I think you're fine Jac: she loves anything thoughtful but I ain't gonna start there still Amelia: 💐 Jac: Naturally Jac: both our rooms look like a florist already Jac: makes up for the shabby walls and carpet you can't do much about Amelia: any time you'd like to fully lean into the 👵 I'll do you an embroidery hoop or something Amelia: very chic Jac: they do sell a lot of that sort of thing in the charity shops Jac: I'm sure your 🎨 will be better than whatever the actual 👵 decided to do 🖼 Amelia: SUCH a compliment, I have no idea how I'm not 😳 Jac: Charity shops are in Jac: I'm not going to call it thrifting, I'm not even half-American, wouldn't be able to take myself seriously Amelia: good, please don't Jac: vintage, upcycling, all acceptable Amelia: for my mother Amelia: I'll take how 'modern' my room here is Jac: I suppose that does make a change Jac: I love the buildings though, the architecture Amelia: 🎨 Amelia: yeah, would be inspiring if I had any time Jac: Is Cork by the coast? Jac: I know nothing about that area Jac: I'm like NEXT to the beach, it's incredible Amelia: it's one of the largest natural harbours in the world, if that doesn't make you want to come and visit me, well ?? Amelia: it has it's own lovely architecture Jac: You should work for the tourism board, honestly Jac: good speech, that Amelia: 🤷🏻 Amelia: I'm here for the 🤓 and you're already interested in that Jac: I'd go to Italy, if I were you Jac: but then, Denmark might have the most interesting criminal practices and laws, so that's a good choice too Amelia: you'll visit me there then, yeah? Jac: I forgot about Sweden, but those three are the real ones to consider Jac: and we can sort visiting when we're even a bit settled Amelia: okay Jac: we've only just left Amelia: thanks for that obvious reminder Jac: 😏 Jac: you know what I mean Jac: give me a chance to get my diary in order before you're saying I'm avoiding you or whatever Amelia: give you a chance to miss me, you mean Amelia: you've got one right now, because I have to go get ready Jac: Oh, if we had to wait for that, you'd never see me again 😉 Jac: have fun 👠👠 Amelia: 💔 Amelia: bye

[skania-cross]

A non-straight atheist and Polish patriot in one person aka a living proof that you may be in the middle (we need more people like that).

Ok, sorry or answering so late but I had an important exam today and I wasn’t actually expecting a question I’ll have to think about. The message is precious anyway and thank you for that. 

non-straight - well, my sexuality is my private thing. I believe in sexual freedom of an adult person and an equality regardless of whom one loves/has sex with, I suppose that’s what’s important.

Atheist - yes, that one’s true ^^

Polish patriot - aaand that one’s a tough one. There’s so many definitions of this word in a modern use and I actually did spend a fair amount of time even before that ask thinking about what I think it should be, whether I want to call myself that and how or if at all it goes with my ‘silesian patrotism’, ‘european patrotism’ and my rather cosmopolitical view of the world. I could write a few pages long, very bitter and a very personal essay about it and I still doubt I’d have a clear answer ;-; 

What I can tell you, I am middle in a sense, there was a time in Poland when you either were a complete nationalist or you hated Poland and everything’s connected to it and there was nothing in between. I think more and more people doesn’t like to go with any of those sides and I am one of them. Obviously, there’s not a single thing that I have in common with, let’s call it ‘PiS type of patrotism’. On the other hand, I think… Poland is a good country to live in. Like, simple as that, I really think I was way more lucky that I was born here than unlucky that I wasn’t born somewhere else. There are countries were an average standard of living is better but way more where it’s worse. Above all, I think I can more or less judge the actual situation in Poland without any pesonal influences. You can not agree with me on certain aspects but I think you can’t accuse me of trying to colorise stuff cause ‘national pride’ or other bullshit like that or on the other hand demonise just cause I’d personally expect something better. So for example as an atheist, I do recognise tons of too many influences church has on a state, I think conscience clause and the law forbiding hurting somebody’s religious feelings are unacceptable, the religion shouldn’t be in schools (although I already had a discussion here that the sitouation is not that bad as people make it out to be) and that cross in a parliment… well, I don’t really care that much, but it is personal pet peeve. On the other hand… god, guys, I’m not discriminated here because of being an atheist, let alone opressed (srsly… what the fuck?). And Poland is a secular country, come on. 

In that sense, I’m in a middle. Whether that’s enough to be a patriot… idk, I feel like that should be something more, you know? I think being a patroit should mean contributing extra to you community, in a sense - fellow country man. Stuff like organising free extra cirricular activities to kids from poorer faimilies to keep them ‘out of the streets’, leading some non-government organisation, or even such a tiny thing as promoting polish culture and/or history with some tumblr blog, stuff like that. To sacrifice something from yourself, be it your time or whatever else for the community, which here would be defined as Poland.I wish I was such a person, but I’m not, as of now. 

Last, but not least, and kind of… off topic but - I do actually think Polish patrotism is somewhat easy. I’m subscribed to a one ukrainian youtubes and she once openly stated she dislikes Ukraine. And I kinda understood her, if I were from a country that since 89 had a revolution after revolution and the life conditions there did not improve in a slightest, and in many ways probably deteriorated, and there’s literally zero perspectives for any positive change in a near future. If I were on a Euromaidan, or if I were a devouted supporter of it, and I probably would, and the thing I’d get in return was a war and subsequent mass-emigration… I think I’d hate my country too. What helps with Poland imo is that, after 89 we made it. People focus too much on the fact that we’re not on the level of Sweden, France or even Czech Republic, but we weren’t on the level of any of this country thirty years ago, we were on the level of Ukraine, we were around two times poorer than even also post-communist Hungary. Now we’re at the level or even slightly better of than Hungary and I think the amount of Ukrainians in Poland says for itself. You can’t held Poland accountable for what’s happened 1939-1989, but only for what happened here post 1989, and I think what has happened shows that polish society is not hopeless, on a contrary. As much as I am disappointed with probably every single thing that happened here since the last elections, I understand that a peroids of fucking up happen, even if the general direction of changes is upwards. Maybe I’m naive with that, but I still believe people just need those four years of change to realise it’s full of shit and then we’ll come back on a right track. We’ll have to make it up for those four years, but as my physic teachers said ‘we survived worse’ (honestly, i don’t know how many time I said this senetence in the reent years ;-;). If PiS pulls off Fidesz, then… well, a patriot is supposed to stay with their country in the times of need or sth like that, right? And I don’t know if I would. I think my personal feeling that we’re throwing every recent achievment into the dumster might be just too strong. 

Duh.

Also, idk if I still deserve the ‘we need more people like you’ compliment but… heck, I’m gonna take it. Next time don’t give it too fast >:) 

[theonstyles]

Eurovision 2017

[lightraker]

Albada: Pigeons on pink

Albada: Pigeons on pink

To understand this poem I think you need to know two things.

Firstly Don Jose Ruiz y Blasco was the father of Pablo Picasso. He was himself an artist and taught art. He painted lots of pictures of pigeons. So much that he was known as “El palomero” (the pigeon fancier). Legend has it that he saw young Picasso drawing some pigeons and they were so much better than anything he ever did that he gave Pablo all his painting materials and never painted again.

Eric’s dad, the poet R F Langley, (I was going to say famous, but maybe admired is the better word), wrote a poem called Jack’s Pigeon. In that poem, a coffee bowl breaks and a pigeon “thuds to the gutter in convulsions”. Jack, who is, I’m bit nervous of defining what Jack is, I think he might be a kind of alter ego for R F, and maybe like a Jack the Lad or man of mischief. Jack sees the probably dead pigeon and checks his “scratchcard”. There are lots of Hamlet references in the poem. I’m thinking there’s a link to the line about “there's a special providence in the fall of a sparrow”. Is God keeping an eye on even the smallest things?

Eric must have been pretty pleased with himself when he made this connection. He’s starting out as a poet, under his father’s shadow. His father wrote a poem about a pigeon. Picasso’s father painted pigeons until Picasso made a better version. Will Eric be Pablo to his father’s Don Jose? I think also, Don Jose’s pigeons look rather lovely. Eric seems to have specifically in mind the one that google throws up which is five pigeons on a pink background. You won’t be surprised that in the end, Eric/Pablo sees that his father’s stuff was better than his.

The Hamlet allusions also work brilliantly with this theme because of course Hamlet is all about a son and the ghost of his father.

Albada means a morning love song in Spanish. I didn’t know the word. But I do recognise Aubade, the French version. Eric says he’s riffing on a number of aubades / albadas in this poem but I can’t help you there. The only Aubade I know in any detail is the Philip Larkin poem. I wonder if there may be an allusion in the description of the blurry outlines in section 2, that become sharply defined in the last section, which remind me a bit of Larkin seeing the blurry outlines in his bedroom becoming sharper at the end. If so, there’s a hint about mortality and fears of death which would fit. Wikipedia tells me that Albada Finder is something in optics, which seems a nice link to themes of the collection.

Orpiment, masticot, Oker de Luce, lac of carmine are all painting materials. Don Jose in the morning is planning some painting.

“Rayleigh… Mei” this is something to do with scientific theories of how light scatters. Like me, you’ll presumably be cringing at the obvious error that the scientist Eric meant is Mie.

“Scumbles" - give a soft effect

“Envious” foreshadows how he’s going to feel about his son.

“civil” - this word sticks out to me. Does it mean polite, ordinary, from the city?

“Dimly” - keeping to the light.

“tender… extension” - Eric is obsessed with words with this root. It’s all to do with reaching out, connecting with another, making yourself vulnerable.

I think we can see that the dawn of the new day is mirroring the coming talent of his son.

“Maria” - is the name of Jose’s wife and Picasso’s mum.

“Jill” - this is the first inkling, I think, that the poem is alluding to Jack’s pigeon. Jill is Jack’s lady (of course).

“Croodling” isn’t this a great word! It means cooing.

“El Palomero” - the pigeon fancier. Apparently Spanish doesn’t have a different word for pigeon or dove. But Jose paints pigeons. However, Picasso as well as drawing pigeons has a famous painting much later in life of a dove of peace. And he called his daughter La Paloma which people seem to translate as “The Dove”. You can imagine she might have preferred it that way. I feel like there’s a lot going on with the idea that the workaday pigeon of the father becomes transformed into the symbolic, beautiful dove of the son.

“Spink” - brilliantly this word means “the cry of a finch”. I wonder how many other birds have a word just for their cry. Did Eric have a moment of serendipitous excitement when he found out it rhymed (hell, contained!) pink? Or did he know this all along?

Senna bush - my botany and the internet lets me down on the connotations of a senna bush, but there is one in “Jack’s Pigeon” by Langley senior, so we’re starting to get more references to that.

“Booby” - idiot, breasts, type of bird. (Also, tit!)

“Jug jug” is the noise a nightingale makes. Also, means breasts! Even I recognise this as a line in the Wasteland. But I’m not sure if it helps specifically to think of that poem, or just that both Eric and Eliot are referring to an earlier tradition of writing about nightingales going jug jug. Apparently it was big in the renaissance.

“full-throated.. god! o god!… shoot.. plum” Something something sex. Perhaps also a little Keats nod. In “Ode to a Nightingale” the bird sings with “full-throated ease”.

“Pomegranate tree” - this introduces, I think, a reference to the Song of Solomon. There’s something about Solomon and pomegranates. “My love, my dove, my fair…” is a quote from that.

“Ignition spark… apples’ pips”. Sex… babies.

“Piz piz” Apparently Picasso’s first words - short for “lapiz” - calling for a pencil. I hope you’re ready for some Freudian penis stuff. Father and son are going to be engaging in some willy waving.

“Pipion” - pigeon. 
“Master at the Bellas Artes” - Jose’s job teaching art.

“Kids” childish / jokes.

“Plucks his nib” - masturbation / makes art. Who can tell the difference?

“Squab” - a young pigeon. The word is used in “Jack’s Pigeon”.

“real these really real pigeons” - it seems like we’re back to Zeuxis here. Picasso rivals Zeuxis’ achievement.

I’m not sure at what point we shift from Dad to Son. As of Section 5 we get first person not third. But this seems to be from the dad’s point of view. While I think by Section 7 we’re from the son’s. But I could be wrong.

“the shock that shook” - so this is the dad seeing his son is a better artist.

“Mummed me” - acted as me (mummer) / became my mum / shut me up.

“Barbels” - little beard hairs (on fish? - I got a bit confused by wikipedia here, do fish have beards? and I thought we were talking about pigeons). Anyway, appropriate for the developing youth.

“Crappers” - not sure about this. Is this just because pigeons do a lot of pooing?

“Jacobines” - Jacobins of course are the ruthless revolutionaries - is that the role the son takes? I’m not sure if there’s a reason it’s feminine plural. Obviously links us to Jack.

“gall-free” - I wondered if this removal of gall from the pigeons, suggested the transformation of pigeon to dove (symbolising peace)?

“cheaply” - what sound do birds make?

“blackjacked” - knocked out / gambled away / Jack is now Black.

“here come have them then” - this is when the dad gives away all his painting materials to his son.

“throbbing vanes” - “vane” is the flat part of a feather. It’s nice how the paint brush becomes like a wing - so that the young boy can take flight like the pigeons. This feels like an Icarus allusion. I’m not sure if it’s a direct quote from Ovid, but it sounds like the kind of thing you’d get in translations of Ovid. That’s another model for Father / Son relationships we’re presented with. Let’s hope Eric doesn’t get too carried away with his wings of poetry unlike his wise and crafty dad Daedalus. Also, masturbating.

“Big head” - the arrogance of Eric comparing himself to Picasso. And also, penis.

“Rachis” - stem of grass.

“Filoplume” - hair like feathers.

“Barbs” - suggesting insults / stings. Poor old dad.

“Erleben” - experience (German for having lived).

“Avitrol” a bird deterrent.

Section 6 describes favourably the early pigeon sketch by Picasso.

“Gutter” - this word crops up a couple of times. And strikingly near the end of the poem. A candle gutters meaning it goes out or is about to go out. Is Pablo a “gutter” because his dad is now “gutted”? And remember the pigeon in “Jack’s Pigeon” “thuds to the gutter”.

“This one’s for remembrance”. We’re now entering Hamlet rich territory. This line is from Ophelia. I feel like this marks the moment when the son/Eric/Pablo speaks. He’s remembering his dad. Who, like him, knew his Hamlet! (Ophelia’s the name of the pigeon who dies in “Jack’s Pigeon”).

“Old mole” is what Hamlet calls his father’s ghost.

“Sweet Lady” - “Sweet Lady Street” is where the pigeon dies in Jack’s Pigeon.

“Pau Gargallo” - sculpture friend of Picasso, art school in Barcelona.

“Wash Lane” - not sure of the relevance of this - it is a street in Birmingham sort of in the same part of Britain as where Eric grew up. But I’m probably missing something.

“Penfold” - I really really hope this is an allusion to Dangermouse’s helper. A keeper of pens, the tool the poet needs.

“where the two thousand sad souls go” - this is from Hamlet as he sees the army heading off for war - and Jack’s Pigeon has the bowl breaking like “twenty thousand souls”.

“Over-rounds” - this is something to do with gambling - and so I think is linking to Jack going to the betting shop.

“Polish day trip” - Hamlet reference - “Polack”. And in Jack’s Pigeon the coffee bowl called “Part of Poland”.

“eggshells” - Hamlet: “all that fortune, death and danger dare, Even for an eggshell”.

“Rosemary” - Ophelia gives this “for remembrance”.

“pyggion” - If you google this word, you get Eric’s poem and an academic book called “Bare Ruined Choirs” talking about the moat at Crowle. This seems like a cool coincidence. Shakespeare Sonnet talking about growing old. I think there’s something to do with language changing and in the next couplet we get squib instead of squab.

“An old man of Daulis”. Daulis is where Oedipus didn’t go to when he ended up killing Laius. So I think this is a reference to a key father / son rivalry. (Daulis is also where Tereus lived as in the Philomela, cutting out tongue, eating his own child, turning into a bird, Tereus, so maybe there’s a bird link too). But I think Eric is saying: I’m not killing my dad “this time”. It feels like we’ve got a long way into a poem about father/son rivalry without an Oedipus reference.

Pichon - Spanish for little pigeon

Pijon - French for pigeon.

Paloma - spanish dove / pigeon. I think again there’s something here about language changes, transitions between language like the transitions between generations.

“Haunts” - ghosts.

“How pale they glare” - Hamlet says of his dad’s ghost: “How pale he glares”.

“between the lines” - Looking for his father in his writings.

“street lamps, gas lamps” - again thinking of time passing.

“Clayton’s spirits” - I’ve come up a bit of a blank on what this means. Wikipedia has something about Clayton’s being Australian for fake.

Madeleine - think of Proust having his memory brought back.

“Reverbere” - French for streetlight. But also the idea of the memory reverberating.

“How strong is stillness?” - this quotes from RF Langley’s journal entry of April 1977. He talks about going to a church and the children playing, naming Ruth, Eric’s older sister. The line before is “Gestures of children must stay.”

“Conning” deceive or study carefully.

“Hundred good hellos” - this is a phrase from RF Langley’s poem “Il Redentore” which is a church Venice. I got excited by the thought that it sounds like the returner / reviens. But actually it’s Italian for Redeemer. But something about giving back, right? Giving back the paint brushes?

“Frame that”. Guilt. Painting. Setting.

“Attention… tentif” more of the ten…

“Complex feet” - is this a reference to Oedipus whose name means swollen foot? And has his own complex.

Towlines - a nautical rope.

“Pigeon-toed, dove-tailed”. This is clever, isn’t it!

“Da!” - dad, ta da! and maybe also Russian for Yes!

“Fetch” - bring back, grasp, trick, jerk off, resurrect.

“Mirrors… rage” - I can’t help but think of the rage of Caliban seeing himself in the mirror but that doesn’t seem very relevant here. Hamlet holds up a mirror. Eric reflects his dad. As a “compound compliment”.

“Bearded” - old men have beard, but also means “confronted”.

“Bound about” - jumping / tied up.

“Charged” - attacked, energised, accused.

“screwed in your bedclothes” - are we thinking of sex and Gertrude (Hamlet’s mum)?

“swipe” - rushing stroke / steal.

Here is where Eric / Pablo acknowledges the greater ability of his dad. “It’s all still yours, still yours to say”.

“Passing” - going by or pretending.

“Cyclist” - Eric rides a bike / he recycles poetry.

“Pillar” - a symbol of tradition? (Also penis).

“Well outlined” compare the blurred figure of the dad in the early dawn.

“plastic guttering” - see above. Dad becomes different parts of a building: chantlate- piece of wood holding rafters, in other words a protector. But also chant = sing and late = dead. “Flash line” - part of building or a fancy poem. “eavestrough” gutter.

“Bowl” now the broken bowl of Jack’s pigeon seems to be mended.

“Rings” - sounds out and comes round again.  

[steveramsdale]

The Milk, Water and Lecky Blog 10.2

Once again, I begin a Saturday morning sitting on the still warm but already decaying carcas of the week. I take the fragments and riches from the matchbox tray where I have been collecting them and assemble them into a finely crafted blog. I’m not too sure about the imagery of that opening, but it’s what I’ve got, so here we are.

This week’s warning is for those who are lactose intolerant. Exercise caution when reading this blog. The title was a ‘trigger warning’.

Last Saturday was a strange day. Time moved weirdly. It was midday really quickly then the afternoon dawdled along.

On Sunday, I flitted - no of course I didn’t move house - I went from thing to thing in an unfocused manner. A bit of planning then I bit of cleaning then a bit more planning then some sitting and listening or watching. All the time I was trying not to get something to eat. Self-discipline has deserted me. I have nothing interesting to eat but nibble at things distractedly.

It was a really, really beautiful day. I had to go down to the bins and I decided to sort a few things out in the van. I also wanted to see if the engine would start after three weeks of not being started. It started without problem and I let it idle for a short time. I took out some food items I had left for planned short trips that are temporarily postponed.

Has this ever happened to you? You go to sleep and sleep soundly then wake up. You’re not sure, but feel that you have slept all night but it’s only been two hours. That has happened to me many times and I like it because it is almost like you get two night’s sleep for the time of one. That didn’t happen this week but something strange did. That puts it in context. I woke up on Monday morning feeling I’d slept well. I did not immediately open my eyes but thought about what time it might be. I listened for sounds outside and it was very quiet. Then I thought to myself, “Well, it could be three of it could be 11”. Meaning 3am or 11pm, of course. I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. It said 3:11. I thought that was really weird. I mentioned it in my first video lesson, later, and some 10/11 year-olds agreed it was weird. So there.

I did not mention, before, the scrolling message on my phone. My provider is called Beeline. Usually, up in the top left-hand corner, when on the lock-screen, it show the signal strength and the word Beeline. For quite some time, Feeling has become a scrolling message that says Feeling then, in Uzbek, stay at home.

I have discovered oat milk. Milk has been a problem for us since we arrived here. As has breakfast in general. I have probably discussed this before.

I like breakfast. I like tasty breakfast cereal. I like it with really cold, pasteurised milk. It is very difficult to find good cereal, cereal that does not contain 5kg of sugar per serving. It is also difficult (often) to get pasteurised milk. UHT milk is readily available. Sterilised milk is readily available. I don’t like either of them. Ben tells me that when he was a youngster, he asked me what UHT stood for and that I said “Unholy Taste”. That is what I thought then and think now. Anyway, I discovered oat milk. This has a nicer taste than those others but here it is quite thick, like cream. So, not really suitable for breakfast cereal. I thought about diluting (to taste) with water. However, the first thing I tried was diluting it, on my cornflakes, with UHT milk. And do you know (?) it’s not too bad. It could keep me in ‘breakfasts’ until I can get back to Kellogg’s Cornflakes with ice-cold, semi-skilled pasteurised cow’s milk. There’s also my own ‘cereal cocktail’ I’ll tell you about another time.

The hot water switched off on Tuesday. I have almost certainly mentioned this process before. When we were at NBU, our house had the massive, inefficient 30-year-old boiler that was checked at least once a week by the maintenance guys. We knew that our colleagues living in flats in apartment blocks had centrally piped in hot water and had no control over their heating. Once or twice a year, their hot water would be switched off for a week or more for cleaning or maintenance. I’ve already had this pleasure - back in September, I think.

On Wednesday, at 4am, the water came back on. I heard a few rhythmic tapping sounds and then the unmistakeable sound of radiators filling up. The hot water was coming back after less than a day. There was also, before 5am, a very loud noise. It was construction of some kind, not to far away. At first, I thought it was a plane going over, but it lasted for too long. And there was banging. I have no idea what it was but it was so loud, so early in the morning.

The hot water was off again on Wednesday for the afternoon and evening. On Thursday morning, the hot water went off again but was back on by Friday morning.

Also on Wednesday (I think) the electricity went off. I had just started my 2pm Zoom lesson and the power went off. So, my router went off. I quickly joined the meeting on my phone using data just to tell the children what had happened. The work was their for them in our Google Classroom, so I told them to go and get on. I did not make a note of when the power came back on. I think it was at about 5:45pm. So not too bad.

That is, pretty much, the entire contents of my matchbox tray. Meagre fayre indeed. So, the ‘new normal’ ramblings of my quarantine disordered mind.

I heard “wane down”. Maybe it’s just time for humans to go. I hold on to hope, but it’s difficult sometimes.

The odds on me swimming at NBU have been lowered to the same odds as the Tories actually valuing the NHS after this is over and powering it on the money they take from those who have decided to give up some of their vast, hoarded (stolen) wealth. That sentence took a wild turn, didn’t it?

On that subject, and in the new tradition of imposing my ill-considered views on you as well as my ill-developed weekly non-news, here’s a thing. You may have seen this before but it’s worth repeating. I even checked the maths involved!

If you had been born on 1st January in the year zero (yes, I know no one knew then it was 1st January in the year zero, but it is possible) and you had stayed alive since then (that’s less possible). If, given those circumstances, you had been given £5,000 every day, you would still not have as much money as Richard Branson has now. That is almost inconceivable but it’s true. If you had been given £5,000 every day of a more than 2,000 year life, you would not be as rich as these billionaires we read about.

Now here, Richard Branson is being used as an example. I have nothing against him personally. It’s just that he has been, seemingly with no sense of the ‘look’ of it, asking for money! Asking for public money. Asking for money collected from tax payers. I notice that some countries (certainly Belgium, Poland and France) are specifically denying the ‘bail-out’ money to companies that have avoided paying tax by registering their companies off-shore or using subsidiary companies registered off-shore. This is right and just. I hope it will be one of the things that change after this. Every person - employee, employer, CEO, investor - whoever - will recognise that we have to be a society, an interdependent community. We need each other. The really vital people aren’t necessarily the ones who were most valued before this current situation. We know who they really are.

That is all I have. I value your comments and knowing there are people reading this nonsense every week! Stay in. Stay safe. Stay.