#and the whole time alan rickman is just being a massive fucking dick to everyone so you don't suspect a thing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cicadaknight · 3 months ago

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that movie where alan rickman concocts a plan to prove his devotion to a greasy twink, norman reedus, by having the twink seduce his hot wife and murder her with a magic trick so they can live together forever in her grandfather's island cabin as gay lovers.

#it's a hot mess #and unfortunately checked all my boxes for a good time #the magic trick is him doing that disappearing/reappearing/switcheroo coin thing but with poisonous and edible mushrooms lmao #did that trick also involve erotically rubbing said slimy wet poisonous mushroom on her face? perhaps.#OH! and they get her to write her own suicide note by pretending norman doesn't know how to write so he gets other people to transcribe #and she just thinks he's asking her to write weird quirky poetry #OH!!! and there's a terrible scene where he dresses up as marilyn monroe and sings 'happy birthday mr. president'#a truly wild ride. i thought i was stoned for the entirety. i was stone cold sober.#and the whole time alan rickman is just being a massive fucking dick to everyone so you don't suspect a thing #but if you know the twist going into it all he's clearly fuckin flirting and dropping hints the whole damn time #really the moral of the story is rich white people are wacky and need to get better hobbies #dark harbor #h

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