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skyprincesscommander · 6 years ago

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A Heart in Crisis

Summary: Angst, post Kara finding out the truth - The Monitor delivers a prophecy of Kara’s death, and Lena isn’t dealing so well.

The irony was almost poetic. Not long ago, Lena had lied to Kara about seeing apocalyptic visions in her dreams. Now, she was living that reality. Every time Lena closed her eyes, she saw her world die.

It started with the visions she’d seen before but didn’t truly understand at the time. Nanobots consuming Supergirl in Jack’s lab. Kara crashing into the ground, bloody and broken and a breath away from death after her fight with Reign. Kryptonite infecting her body from her toes to her eyelids as the very air poisoned her, lighting up her veins with sickness.

It only went downhill from there. Lena started dreaming about her own simulations, watching Kara die by her own hand. When she awoke she would run to the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach (which unfortunately did not include the crippling anxiety that seemed to find its home there). She had even shut Hope off entirely, dizziness overcoming her the second she heard that automated voice. Hope only ever inquired as to her well-being, but all Lena heard was a robot who had offered to kill Supergirl.

Finally came the images she’d never seen before. The Monitor with his hands around Kara’s neck. Anti-matter consuming only her, leaving the world untouched around it. And no matter which dream her mind chose from the lottery, it always ended with his voice.

“In order for billions to survive this coming crisis, Supergirl must die.”

That was the message the Monitor had brought. They had all stood frozen - Alex, Brainy, Jonn, Nia, and Lena, until Kara flew off into the sky, not willing (or able) to look or talk to any of them. It was Brainy who approached Lena, concern painting his features. She had not moved for ten minutes.

“I don’t think I have a big enough box for this,” she whispered to him. Brainy just stood awkwardly beside her, his own boxes not sturdy enough to stop the flow of tears. It’d been two weeks since that day, and they still hadn’t spoken. Whether it was because of Lena’s own lies or because of Kara’s impending doom - it did not matter. All that mattered was that each day was another day closer to reaching Kara’s fate, and every morning when Lena woke it was like a new setting had been added to her panic meter. Inside, Lena felt like there was a doomsday clock ticking on her heart. For whether they were best friends or worst enemies, that was exactly what Lena would lose.

Her sole focus became researching anti-matter. She’d never been a religious person, so as far as she was concerned, God and his prophecies could go fuck himself. Just because she wasn’t speaking with Kara didn’t mean she couldn’t help. Alex, while wearing a harsh scowl, gave her bits and pieces of information, but it made no difference. There was not enough time in the universe, apparently, for her to fix or even understand this problem. She stayed in the lab for three days, avoiding dreams and barely eating. When she practically collapsed on one of her test tubes, Lena knew it was time to go home. Without the strength to make it to her room, Lena collapsed on the couch with the sound of the television in the background to hopefully block her dreams. Her rest doesn’t last long. She wakes in a sweat, the Monitor’s words still echoing in her ears. However, it’s when she sees Supergirl on the television, battered and bruised from her latest battle, that all thought of sleep flies from her mind. First, she has to pinch herself, squeezing her eyes together to try and wake up once more. Kara has a single cut on her forehead from the battle, but Lena knows how the rest of the story will go. When the news story changes three minutes later, Lena cries with relief. However, her tears turn hot and angry quickly, and before she can change her mind Lena hits the S on her watch, right before throwing it against the wall. Somehow it still shocks her how fast Kara arrives, even after everything that transpired between them. With a whoosh and a thud, Kara barrels into the apartment, scanning the area for immediate danger before focusing on Lena. Behind the look of panic in Kara’s eyes, there is only exhaustion. It is the look of a woman whose mind and body have not stopped moving for days. Lena recognizes the image like it is an old friend. With one hand, Kara rubs the worry from her face, replacing it with exasperation.

“Lena, no matter what happens, I will always be here to help you. But the next time you hit that watch there better be a real--” The still bleeding cut on Kara’s forehead snaps Lena into action. “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

The words are unexpected, and Kara doesn’t have an immediate response for Lena. Instead, Kara’s face scrunches and she stares at Lena as if trying to see inside her mind. Considering the x-ray vision, Lena guesses that with the intensity of her gaze, that could be exactly what Kara is doing. Lena tries to remain as stoic as possible, pushing her anger to the forefront and allowing it to seep into each muscle to hide everything else she is feeling underneath. Seeming to give up on observing Lena, Kara sighs. “What do you want from me?” “For you to stop being a moron.”

“Which would include, what, exactly? For me to stop saving people? To run away from this Crisis?”

“To act like you don’t have a death wish!” “No! You don’t get to do that!” Kara bellows, edging closer with her finger pointing right between Lena’s chest. “You don’t get to worry about my fate when you’ve been killing me inside your head for months.”

One more thing Lena had to thank Leviathan for: knowing what happened inside her simulations and making sure to tell Kara. Lena’s heart winced, and as much as she wanted to unleash on Kara, to accuse her in return and make her hurt as badly as she was, Lena had no time to be distracted from the issue at hand. “Haven’t you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy, Kara?” Kara turned to leave, exiting out the balcony door. “I don’t have time for this.”

Lena followed after her. “Croesus, the King of Lydia, asked the Oracle of Delphi in Greece if he should go to war with Persia. The oracle tells him that if he goes to war, he will destroy a great kingdom. So he does. But Croesus loses, and has to admit that it was his own empire he destroyed.” With a hand on the balcony’s edge, Kara faces Lena. “What’s your point, Lena?” “Believing that you are going to die might be the only reason you eventually do.” She throws the words into the air like punches. “The Monitor must know this and you are playing into his hands.”

There was no flicker in Kara’s eye that told Lena she was learning new information. In fact, the words seemed to bounce of Kara like they were bullets that had been shot at her a hundred times before. In front of Lena’s eyes, Kara transformed. The invulnerable hero deflated like a puppet whose strings had been dropped. “Whether that’s true or not,” Kara began softly. “If the Monitor knows what we must do to defeat this Crisis...then that’s what we must do.” Lena could feel an eruption rise inside of her. Of what, she couldn’t be certain. Anger, despair, sadness, desperation...she had been blocking her own emotions for a lifetime and could barely identify them anymore. That’s why Kara was different. For three years, she had made Lena feel every day, Lena being unable to build a wall strong enough to block out the girl of steel. Even after learning of Kara’s betrayal, Lena was helpless against the Kryptonian, and that absolutely terrified her. But not more than her dreams. And not more than the crestfallen look on Kara’s face.

“You’ve given up.” Kara clenched her fists. “We have to save the universe, Lena, no matter the cost.”

“You are my universe, Kara!” Without meaning to, Lena marches up to Kara, their faces inches away from each other. So close together, Lena could identify the wet blanket covering Kara’s eyes, though it becomes obscured when her own vision turns blurry. She ignores the tears, though it’s harder to ignore Kara’s sharp intake of breath or the newfound proximity of their bodies. She presses on regardless. “Why do you think I did it all? I was told that my entire universe was a lie. The very foundations of my life were taken from me. The one thing that made me believe in people, in goodness, in myself...” Lena trailed off, giving up on keeping her composure.

Kara’s lips began to quiver. “Why didn’t you just tell me that? Instead of pretending you were fine?” The words come out as a squeak, slipping between sobs. Lena scoffed, though it came out as more of a hiccup. “And have an honest conversation? How was I supposed to do that when we’ve never had one before?” Kara brings a hand up to Lena’s cheek, stroking away her tears with her thumb. Lena doesn’t have the energy to pull away, nor does she want to. The soft comfort in Kara’s eyes is like a gravitational pull, barely allowing Lena to blink. “I wish I had the time to apologize one thousand times over,” she begins, something laced in her tone that Lena does not have the capacity to hear. “If it took the rest of my life, I would spend every day trying to convince you how sorry I am. Call me an idealist, but, even if that life is cut much shorter than I thought it would be...I still hope I can.”

Every piece of armor fell from Lena’s body in a single breath. She raises her hand and places it over Kara’s, leaning her cheek against Kara’s palm. Her eyes shut as she tries to stop more tears from escaping, having lost enough over the past few months. “Please, Kara. Please, fight this.”

Kara presses her forehead to Lena’s. “I promise, I will always fight for you.” Kara kisses Lena so softly that it could almost have been mistaken for the wind. Lena can’t help but react immediately, pressing back harder and searching for more. She needs more. Time is ticking in her ear, the air getting thinner around her, and her breath dissipating from her lungs. But none of it matters if she can keep Kara on that balcony with her - not even the entire universe vanishing. But too much has happened. The mixed taste of tears on their lips remind them of everything that has transpired in the past months, the conversations they haven’t had, and the boxes Lena hasn’t opened. Kara pulls back first, their eyes meeting and glimmering with all those unspoken words. Lena swipes her finger slowly over the cut on Kara’s forehead, but the intimate gesture combined with longing stares becomes too much to bear for either of them. Without a word, Kara steps away. She keeps her gaze locked with Lena’s as she walks backward, one, two, then three steps. Lena becomes aware of nothing else in the world but the space between them. Somehow, even after the last few months, Kara had never seemed further away. “How could you think I would want you to die?” Lena rasps. Kara begins to float, hovering underneath dimmed stars. “It’d be easier if you did. I wouldn’t have to say goodbye.” In an instant, she vanishes, and Lena is left alone with her despair and the words that were left in the air unspoken.

I hope you enjoyed! I am so excited for Crisis - is it too much to ask for Kara to temporarily die and for Lena to be present? Maybe? Part 2

#supercorp #supercorp fanfic #kara danvers #lena luthor #crisis on infinite earths #also i hate coming up with titles #supergirl #supergirl fanfic #my fanfic

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fulcrumahsokaamidala · 6 years ago

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Happy Saturday!!! So this is me thanking awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work. ♥️ I want to recommend spectacular fanfic stories I read this week! ♥️ They are posted in the order I read them. This is something that I want to continue moving forward, and all posts will be tagged #saturday spectacular fic rec

| ONE | (Oliver The Footballer) by @someonesaidcake | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Felicity Smoak had a plan; to save enough money to kick her monotonous job and start up the company of her dreams. She made good plans, solid plans, attainable plans.

He was never part of her plan.

His name was Oliver Queen, the reclusive Brazilian football star with a broken smile and a story to tell.

He'd never planned on her either.

Surprise Children by @icannotbelieveiamhere | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Oliver has just let William leave with his grandparents. He wants to protect William and keep an eye on his son but he needs help from an old friend in Central City. Felicity is acting strangely after her phone call.

His Girl Wednesday by BlueBayou | Arrow | Completed

Summary: Missing her interview for a position in the IT department of QC, Felicity Smoak meets Oliver Queen, son of the CEO and future CEO himself. Only Oliver doesn’t take the company as seriously as he should and after yet another fiasco with his assistant, his mother decides to take matter into her own hands and select one with more qualifications than long legs and deep cleavage. In an effort to get her off his back, he pretends he already hired one: the blonde nerdy girl he met a few minutes ago.

Or when Arrow and Ugly Betty crash in my head (except we all know Felicity could never be ugly). It is mostly Arrow, I borrow a few plot ideas/characters from Ugly Betty.

The Cuff Links by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: On the day of Robert and Oliver's funeral Moira gave Tommy a pair of Robert's cuff links that were always intended for Oliver. Tommy finds the perfect occasion to fulfill Robert's original intentions.

Workouts and Babbles by ElasticMonk | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Oliver comes to the rescue of one cute blonde at his gym just as Felicity stumbles upon one handsome mayor at her gym. They both have something in common, but will it bring them happiness?

He's Just The Nanny by @oliversmuse | Arrow | Completed

Summary: Oliver Queen has been working as a Nanny for the last 5 years when suddenly the family he is working for is transferred to another city. Open for a new assignment he is sent to the home of Smoak Technologies CEO Felicity Smoak and is hired on the spot to watch her three year old daughter, Ellie. As the weeks pass, feelings start to develop and things get complicated and Felicity and Oliver learn very quickly how love can change everything.

The Proposal by @spaztronautwriter | Arrow | WIP

Summary: When Felicity Smoak finds herself in a bind, she enlists the help of her assistant Oliver Dearden to help keep her from being deported and losing her job. The problem is, in order to do so, they kind of have to get married...

The What If Harassment Alternative by portlandborn | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | WIP

Summary: What would have happened to Peraltiago And our intrepid detectives, if Amy had reported her mentor captains ugly behaviors?

"Time for a story" Drabble Series by @smkkbert | Arrow | WIP

Summary: This fic shows Olicity and their life as a (married) couple with family. Although Olicity (and their kids) are the protagonists, other characters of Arrow and Flash make appearances.

It started as a drabble series, but developed more and more into a full domectic AU. Although some chapters are still drabble-like, there are longer storylines by now.

Do you remember by @smkkbert | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Eight years after Oliver and Felicity became teenage parents, they have everything they could have ever hoped for and more. They have a good life in a nice house. Their marriage is happy, and a second baby is on its way. The calm they have settled in is interrupted abruptly when a stalker starts terrorizing Felicity.

Arrow Out of Context by @smoaking-greenarrow | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Collection of prompts using Arrow quotes.

Airplanes, Coffee and Deadlines by @hope-for-olicity | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Felicity begins working at a national newspaper where she has always dreamed of working. On her first day, she meets a very interesting photojournalist. The two will eventually work together but sparks fly immediately.

The Ravager by @laxit21 & mewmew666 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Slade Wilson's plan for revenge against Oliver took time, money and no shortage of lives to pull together. His plan didn't anticipate Felicity Smoak. How will his plan change now that his lost-lost daughter is working with the very man he's trying to destroy?

Artemis by @laxit21 & mewmew666 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: When the Queen's Gambit sank, two people were stranded on Lian Yu. Five years later, four came back.

The Daughter That Was Left Behind by @laxit21 & mewmew666 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Before the Gambit, Oliver Queen met QC intern Felicity Smoak. When he boarded the Gambit, he left something behind. Now, five long years later someone is waiting for him.

Semper Fidelis by @oliversmuse | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Oliver Queen is a member of the Bravo Squad, a team that specializes in search and rescue, covert infantry and translating foreign documents. He is known as one of the best and even though he is one of the youngest recruits he advances quickly. While serving he meets Lance Corporal Felicity Smoak, a young woman with skills in hand to hand combat. Despite the fact they butt heads they fall in love and soon start to talk about a future together. However, when her plane disappears on a mission in China and she is presumed dead, Bravo Squad searches frantically for her, only to find her plane and her bloody dog tags. Five years later Oliver runs into "Megan" at a coffee shop near that gym he has been running with his friends. She has lost her memory from the plane accident but has had dreams of Oliver and the Bravo Squad. With the help of his friends and team mates, can he help her reclaim her past and fall for him once again?

Daughter of the Demon by @laxit21 & mewmew666 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: What if in 1988 while traveling through Las Vegas Ra's al Ghul bumps into a nice waitress named Donna Smoak and they have one-night stand together? A little bundle of joy named Felicity Smoak is the result. In 2014, the Demon Head becomes aware of his youngest daughter's existence.

Felicity of Themiscyra by @laxit21 & mewmew666 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Years ago, Donna Smoak left the island of Themiscyra and her sister Queen Hippolyta behind to live in man's world. She never told Felicity the truth about where she came from. As a result of the Undertaking, Felicity discovers some of her Amazonian abilities and makes an interesting new friend: Diana Prince.

I Scream But No Sound Comes out by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: When Oliver returns from Lian Yu after five years, he comes back different. What happened there damaged more than just his body. How will his friends and family deal with this new Oliver?

And So the Adventure Begins by @mindramblingsfics | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Felicity spent her first year of college focused solely on her studies. In year two, with the convincing of her best friends Iris and Sara, she lets her hair down a bit. Oliver spent his first year partying with his wingman Tommy and living up to the status that came with his last name. He realizes he should buckle down focus on the most important part: actual school. Oliver and Felicity meet, and even though they are on different ends of the spectrum, they don't realize that they can each bring out hidden parts of one another.

Emerald Archer Martial Arts by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: In May 2019, a tired Oliver Queen and four months pregnant Felicity Smoak retire from their vigilante duties and move to the redwood forest town of Bloomfield with their son William, to raise their family in peace.

Along the journey, they build their own successful companies, increase the size of the Smoak-Queen clan by a couple more, train their kids in self-defense, and live out a blissful existence.

This is the story of 7 years of their happiness and family antics, after 7 years of crime-fighting and hardship to save their city.

Providence by @so-caffeinated | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Will Queen has struggled in silence in the year since he was shot. But when a shadowy crime lord known as Domino targets the only woman Will’s ever truly loved, fate forces him to confront his demons in ways he never could have imagined… Whether he wants to or not.

Amelia Prescott has fought to take control of her life since learning two years ago that her personal and professional worlds were manipulated by others. But nothing can prepare her for just how hard she'll have to fight to set her own course, especially when her heart belongs to a damaged man and a crime lord threatens her every professional move... And her life.

Destiny brings them together, but as chaos reigns and personal demons haunt Will and Amelia both, it may also threaten to tear them apart.

I wear high heels (she wears sneakers) by @mogirl97 | Supergirl | WIP

Summary: “Lena. It’s not just about football.” Kara waved her hands around emphatically, “It’s about school spirit and hanging out with your friends—“ Lena didn’t want to bring up the fact that she didn’t have any friends to hang out with. “—and watching me obliterate a bunch of guys’ egos and going out for celebratory Big Belly Burger afterwards.” ~A Supercorp High School AU~

#fanfic rec satuday spectacular #fanfic #fic rec #weekly fic recs

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shipmvns · 8 years ago

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Going Down With The New Kid: The Great Yet Lonely Modern Art

kill me just kill me just fucking do it right no

Pairing: Lena/Kara Alex/Maggie Words: 4,159 Summary: Friday is here- the dance, the football game, and a handful of parties. Kara is exhausted, but she can still try. Meanwhile, Alex finds herself becoming a real member of the school, starting with a simple display of petty theft and underaged alcoholism. Spin the bottle is always interesting, or at least Alex thinks so- Kara, however, just thinks dancing is a lot harder than it looks, even with a teacher like Lena. Really, though, what's the difference between feeling big, and feeling small?

ALTERNATIVELY, READ IT ON AO3/LEAVE A COMMENT

It didn't rain on Krypton.

It was sterile and still and unforgiving under a glaring red sun, and it did not rain, not where things were so simple and clear cut and steady. Earth is messy.

And on Earth, it is raining.

Raining hard in the dark of the night, clamoring and loud and empty enough so that the night could just as easily swallow Kara and no one might ever notice. Black holes.

Blurred edges of the great yet lonely everything, cold air and flooding streets, all sliding down around Kara as she sits on the edge of a picnic table in a park she’s never been to before.

Pouring holy floods beat down upon Kara, and if she didn't know better she wouldn't pin such a lifelessness upon them; they feel purposeful, they feel angry and tragically alive. But that's sort of stupid. She knows that.

She just wishes it wasn't so loud- louder and louder, the chaotic noise goes on a rampant incline. It increases, harder and harder, until you'd think it couldn't go much further, think it'd calm back down again, but it doesn't. Golf ball sized chunks of ice join easily and it sounds frightening, almost.

The sky illuminates to purple and Kara flinches as the sky scars in a searing luminescence, then fades back down again. But next is worse.

Next comes thunder, rolling and long winded and ever so close, and it sounds like the world is splitting in two, like the sky is cracking apart in the crease the lightning left, such fire in the sky, and oh, is it ever so apocalyptic, this second world, second everything being destroyed in front of Kara at God knows when in the morning.

The storm feels like pain and repentance, like listlessness and guilt and needing to sleep. Like a shaking in Kara's core, a coldness in her lungs, and her eyelids are heavy and long for sleep that is always fitful and plagued by personal storms that end in a cold sweat and trying to keep quiet for the sake of the people who take her in so selflessly, then slipping out a window and ending up in somewhere so utterly foreign.

And it probably doesn’t mean that much, but even so, Kara feels petrified where she stands.

But, oh, better things must be coming- things that are so much easier said than done, things that sometimes leave a burning in Kara's throat late at night, the light things, the happy things, the 'just being a kid' things when she could be doing more.

She shakes her head and it aches. Better things, better things are coming. Weekends and parties and better things than being alone so early in the morning. But Kara needs some sleep, all she really needs is some sleep. And then it'll be all right.

"I'm not late," Kara waves her arm feebly as she steps into first period on the very last second of 7:59. Her hair is vaguely damp, which will hopefully appear to be from an early morning shower, and not an early morning traipse into the rain. What the hell does the word traipse mean, anyways? Whatever, Kara can save questions like that for English class.

Lena greets Kara with a smirk from her seat as Kara sets her things down, then sits beside her. "Have you considering leaving for school a few minutes earlier?" Lena suggests.

"Oh, hush," Kara laughs slightly as their teacher begins passing out busywork.

"If you're late tonight I'll be utterly offended," Lena teases.

"I won't be, I promise," Kara rests her head on her hands. "Oh, is it, like, formal? Like, is there a dress code? For the dance?" Kara mumbles.

Lena pauses, then smiles deviously. "Yes, there absolutely is." (This is a lie. Lena is a dirty liar. A dirty liar with absolutely no remorse.)

Hey, just because they're friends now doesn't mean Lena can't have any fun.

"Danvers." More of a statement than a greeting, but it comes with warm eyes and a smile, so Alex will absolutely take it.

"Hey."

"Ready for initiation tonight?" Maggie asks with a tilt of her head.

"Initiation?" Alex raises her eyebrows.

"You're not truly part of the school 'till you get trashy drunk at a football game that we're losing," Maggie shrugs. Alex sits down beside her, settling into her desk.

"The trashy drunk part, that I can do, but what if we don't lose?" Alex asks.

"Oh, we always lose," Maggie says firmly.

"Every time," says a boy behind them.

"It's a school tradition. We suck. I mean, we're just awful. It's ridiculous. We always lose. So you take care of the drunk part, and the football players will do the rest for you," Maggie promises.

"So alcoholism is required to be part of this school?" Alex quirks an eyebrow. "What about, like, the Mormons? The Amish?"

"Oh my God, Danvers, are you drunk right now? Oh my God. 'The Amish.' Coming to English class drunk. That won't get you extra credit, Alex," Maggie starts to laugh.

"Knowing our teacher, I feel like it absolutely would," Alex says. "Stop making fun of the Amish, though, that's rude," Alex scolds.

"Dude. First of all, there are definitely no Amish kids who go here. I feel like that just makes you sort of stupid. Second, I'm 82% sure Amish people drink. That's religious, right? Religious people love to get wasted, it's why there's the whole Jesus-wine thing, and, anyways, don't kids our age do to the thing? Like in reality TV? Where they live like 'the English?' So if Amish kids were in our grade, they'd be drunk. Always, probably," Maggie says thoughtfully.

"Drunk always. That should be your school motto," Alex offers.

"Or your English class motto."

"Oh, shut up."

"Hey, you're the new kid!" Maggie announces as if it's some kind of revelation, and Alex laughs lightly.

"Uh, yeah, did you forget? Maybe I'm not the drunk one, after all."

"You're the new kid, and that means you have to come with me for the supply run for Under The Bleachers activities," Maggie explains. "It's your responsibility. Also part of initiation."

"Supply run?"

"Yeah, come with me," Maggie grabs her wrist without further explanation, and then calls out to the English teacher, "we're going to Target!"

"Find your spirit there, my dears," the English teacher croons, flitting around her incense.

"This... this is a weird school," Alex shakes her head.

Maggie's car is very small and looks like it could fall apart at any moment, but it smells like cinnamon and leather, so Alex can't really complain too much. She slips into the passenger seat and Maggie sits next to her, turning on the radio, even though the speakers are staticy and hard to hear.

"So, why are we going to Target during English class?"

"It's my unofficial job to provide the alcohol for football games to everyone who hangs under the bleachers. It's a team job, though, so I always take the new kid," Maggie explains.

"What, do you have a fake ID or something?" Alex asks.

"Nah, mostly it's just petty theft," Maggie shrugs.

"That is... so many kinds of illegal," Alex shakes her head.

"It's okay, I'm planning on being a cop when I'm older to make up for it, so it's pretty much even," Maggie shrugs. "You should consider being a cop, too, now that you're about to become my accomplice. Plus, you have the body for it," She points out.

Alex clears her throat, bites her lip. "Ha. You know, I don't really think that's how the law works." She tries to ignore the blush creeping onto her face as they pull into the parking lot of the Target.

"Hey, Kara," Alex says as her sister meets her outside the side door of the school for the walk home. "Don't steal things from Target when you're a junior, okay?"

"I... what?" Kara blinks at Alex vacantly.

"Long story. Heed my advice. Technically, we didn't get caught, but I wouldn't really advise it," Alex shrugs as the girls begin walking home.

"Uh. Okay. Hey, Alex, can I borrow one of your dresses? I'm going to the dance, and I guess it's supposed to be formal," Kara shoves her glasses up her nose.

"Sure. You're going to the dance?" Alex raises an eyebrow.

"Uh-huh. With Lena. She said I shouldn't miss it," Kara explains.

"With Lena, huh? So no shovel talk necessary, then, I guess?" Alex laughs.

"Guess not," Kara mumbles.

"..Hey, Kara, are you okay?" Alex raises an eyebrow, slows her pace a little.

"What? Why?" Kara asks.

"You just seem... I don't know. Weird," Alex shrugs.

"That's mean," Kara says with a half smile.

"Seriously."

"I'll be fine, Alex," Kara shakes her head. "I've just got a lot on my mind." At least that's truthful.

Under a twilight sky, Maggie gives three sharp knocks to door of Alex's house.

Without more than a few seconds, the door is opened by a blonde woman. "Hi, sweetie. Which one are you here for?"

"Uh, Alex Danvers?" Maggie says.

"Come on in, she'll be down with her sister in just a minute. You're just in time for dinner."

"Great," Maggie says with an easy smile, despite the fact that she really wasn't expecting to be part of a family dinner- she was really just here to pick up Alex.

Alex's house is warm and homey, full of a soft orange glow. Alex comes down the steps as Maggie is being shown to the dining table. "Hey, mom, I- Maggie. Hi," Alex is slightly taken aback.

"Hey, Danvers, your mom invited me to stay for dinner," Maggie gives her a smirk as Eliza goes into the kitchen to finish up.

"Oh, really, she did?" Alex laughs, taking a seat next to Maggie.

"Of course I did, she's your friend," Eliza says very matter-of-factly. "Where's your sister, Alex?"

"She said she'll be down in a few minutes," Alex shrugs.

Eliza puts the food out and then sits down at the other end of the table.

It's nice, dinner with Alex's mom. Their house is homey and the food is amazing. Her mom is nice and talkative.

"So, are you girls going to the football game?" Eliza asks.

"Yeah, they're always great, so I insisted that Alex here come with me," Maggie says.

"Oh, well that was nice of you, dear," Eliza smiles. "It's so nice to see Alex make some friends, when she was a little girl, she didn't have many friends, s-"

"Thanksfordinnermomwereallyneedtogobye," by the time Alex has finished her sentence, she's already dragged Maggie out of the house to the car by the sleeve of her shirt.

"Aw, but I just started eating," Maggie pouts, sliding into the driver's seat.

"You can eat when we get there," Alex says gruffly.

"Poor, young, friendless Alex," Maggie sighs mockingly.

Alex throws a quarter at her.

"Okay, okay, I'm done!" Maggie laughs. "I'm finished."

"Just drive, Sawyer."

Taking the day of the week into consideration, the weight on Kara's chest should be significantly lighter. Whatever; she figures things will be pretty good when Lena comes to get her. She knows that Alex has already left with her friend, she heard the car, but that's sort of weird, since the game isn't until after the dance, and even the dance isn't starting until fifteen minutes from now.

Kara looks at herself in her mirror, and she feels small, standing there in her sister's dress in her room, which growing a pale blue.

A knock at the door tells Kara her ride is waiting, so she makes her way down the stairs to see Eliza greeting Lena. "Hey! You're here," Kara says, approaching Lena.

"Yeah," Lena smiles.

"You girls have fun, now," Eliza says as Kara and Lena exit the house and wave.

"You look," Lena looks Kara up and down, "Uh. Wow."

"Thanks. I think," Kara clears her throat as the girls start walking towards the school. Not the most glamorous way to show up to a dance, but it works.

"I didn't even know this place existed," Alex shrugs, leaning back in her booth and looking out to the sky. The sun hasn't totally fallen yet, but in the east, beginnings of shining stars are visible.

"Best food in our town. Which, you know, is saying very little. Still, though. A good place to kill time for an hour before the game," Maggie points out.

Alex almost asks Maggie why she's hanging out with her, when Maggie has a whole group of very loud friends probably readily available somewhere else. Instead, she just takes a sip of her shake, letting fluorescent light wash over her.

"Your mom seems nice," Maggie says, and it's not without a slight smirk, but it's still fairly sincere.

"Yeah, she's pretty nice," Alex shrugs.

"Wait until she finds out her kid stole from a Target," Maggie laughs, and her dimples show brilliantly.

"You're pretty when you smile," Alex mumbles. Immediately after, she looks away. But still, she can see, Maggie smiles.

Lena is not a bad person, and she thinks this is quite proven by the fact that, despite having messed with Kara about the less-than-classy school event being formal, she did not make Kara brave the otherness of being out of place entirely alone. Both girls are entering the gym wearing dresses that are far too fancy for the occasion.

"You said it was formal!" Kara swats at Lena.

"Ah, well," Lena laughs easily in the humid gym air. Some kind of soft song is playing at a low quality in the background, and the lights are low and reddish, casting shadows across the room. Lena takes Kara's hand and twirls her easily. "Welcome to a high school dance. It's terrible, and we should definitely leave within twenty minutes or less."

"Awh, but I wanna dance," Kara gives Lena her widest, most pleading eyes and an innocent smile.

"I don't really know how to dance," Lena says. (This is a lie; what rich girl doesn't know how to ballroom dance?)

"Aww," Kara moans with a frown that is nearly unbearable. It takes literally three seconds of this for Lena to break completely.

"God, fine," Lena sighs. Kara claps.

"Show me how?"

"Okay," Lena says. "Put your hands like this- yeah, right there. Keep them there, unless I go to spin you or something like that. And I'll put my hands here. Okay? And now we kind of- we kind of go like this, like, we go in this shape, okay? Like sort of a square. Sort of go to the music, like, sway. Keep the beat, right. Good. And now- now I'll spin you, okay?"

Lena twirls Kara, and her dress twirls with her, leaving her giggling when she steadies.

"Okay. Good. Fall back in with the beat, now, right- okay. Good. You're doing really good, Kara," Lena laughs brightly. For a few moments, it is easy, and it is only them.

The football game is loud and full of bright, artificial light that hurts Alex's eyes. Maggie leads her under the bleachers, where there's a group of stoner-type looking teenagers hanging out and laughing and yelling like it's some kind of exclusive party. "Everybody, me and Danvers are here with the beer," Maggie waves an arm in the air.

Kids cheer all around as they drag the cooler of alcohol over. It takes less than 37 seconds for someone to yell 'chug' to no one in particular.

"Interesting enough, huh?" Maggie smiles.

"Guess so," Alex says with a laugh.

Someone's set up a radio, and dizzy summer music is humming around them. Alex takes a seat, and Maggie follows suit, sipping on a beer. They sit quietly, cheers overhead and fuzzy music filling up all the blank spaces, but both girls hands are supporting them, and just slightly, they're touching. Alex tries not to wonder if this is on purpose.

It takes maybe another thirty minutes for someone to yell, "spin the bottle!" Everybody, by now, is slightly lost to the world, though no one's quite wasted yet, either. Without a second thought, Maggie is entering into the circle of kids, tight grip on Alex's wrist, and the game commences. A boy next to Maggie spins first, and Alex pays very little attention.

Next, though, it's Maggie's turn. She spins. It lands on a boy in a black hoodie. Alex takes a sip of beer. Maggie makes a face. "I really need more friends who are chicks," she shakes her head, steps forward, and lets the boy kiss her. He grins. She doesn't. (Neither does Alex. She just feels a vague twist in her stomach.)

Under the light of the moon, feeling in somewhat high spirits, if a little hollow inside, Kara walks side by side with Lena, on their way to whichever party Lena deems best.

"You dance really well," Kara says quietly.

"Got lessons when I was little," Lena shrugs. Kara nods. "Hey, we're here," Lena points to a house down the block with lights and loud music all spilling out the windows.

"I can smell the alcohol from here," Kara mutters.

"No kidding," Lena says as they make their way to the house. It's all open doors, so the two walk in easily. "Do you want a drink, though?" She casts her eye over at the younger girl. Kara shakes her head politely. "Okay, I'll be right back, then," Lena tells her. Kara puts her back against the wall as she is left alone within the loud noise. She plants her feet firmly in the carpeting, as if not to be swallowed whole. Things like this, they always feel very isolating, at least if you're by yourself.

Luckily, though, Lena returns quickly, red cup in hand. "This... this is a party?" Kara asks.

"Pretty much. It's more fun if you're drunk," Lena shrugs. "Or into this sort of thing."

"It's interesting," Kara says, sitting down on a wide leather couch. She thinks she sinks down about a foot when she sits down. Lena sits down beside her, taking a sip from her cup.

"What's in there?" Kara quirks an eyebrow.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, it's strong, and sort of gross," Lena squints down at the contents of the cup, then shrugs and takes another long sip.

"It's like... being inside a piece of modern art, or something," Kara mumbles, looking around at all of the sharp edges and faded colors that go fuzzy if she doesn't focus hard enough. It's smokey and pale, the whole room, and messy music is clashing with the quiet sound of the night and the fireflies hovering near the grass despite it being the wrong season entirely for that.

"Modern art kind of sucks," Lena mumbles, finishing off her cup of Something Awful.

"Not always," Kara shrugs, and wonders if she's telling the truth.

"I'm getting another drink, want one?" Lena offers. Kara politely declines once more and watches Lena retreat into the next room, letting everything go fuzzy and red and faraway for a moment.

Thirty spins. It takes thirty spins of the beer bottle in the middle of the circle to place Maggie and Alex together. When it does, Maggie rubs her hands together. "Alright, finally something I can get behind," she laughs, standing up. Alex follows suit with heat flooding her body. Her limbs betray her slightly, she feels wavering, she feels unsteady.

Maggie smiles and tugs at Alex's jacket, compromising for the awfully noticeable height difference.

When the two girls kiss, a lot of things happen for Alex- a lot of things that Alex will not disclose, under any circumstances, in fact, because she's always hated young adult books and their depictions of kissing, so she's definitely not going to say that, when they kiss, it's sparkly and warm and bright, and she especially won't think about how fucking soft Maggie's lips are, because that's just fucking ridiculous, and she's not even going to acknowledge Maggie's hands on her hips in the first place, to be quite frank.

When Maggie pulls away, Alex's body screams in petulant reluctance, but her face stays stone. Boys are wolf whistling- Alex hardly notices. Maggie's wearing a smile on her lips. "Well, guys, this was fun," She says once someone else grabs the bottle, "but I think me and my ride along over here are gonna jet before the guards come and kick us all out. Seeya."

Alex follows out into the open night air wordlessly. The make it to Maggie's car, but Maggie doesn't even pull her keys out of her pocket. Instead, she says, "that was fun. Up for a round two, Danvers?"

And how can a drunk teenager decline an offer like that, in a great and wide world lacking consequence?

Within two hours, Lena is kind of entirely wasted, and it's pretty funny, besides the fact that it kind of makes Kara feel like she's on a different level of mind, which is an awfully lonely place to be. And, don't get her wrong, this is all perfectly entertaining- it's just... weird.

"Kara," Lena slurs, "you're pretty." She runs a clumsy hand through Kara's blond curls.

Kara laughs. "Thanks, Lena."

"You look like... a Disney princess," Lena mumbles, shaking her head. "I mean, everyone thought you were gonna be scary.... but you're just a ninth grade princess! Ha."

"I can be scary," Kara mumbles as Lena rests her head in Kara's lap. Kara threads her fingers through Lena's hair.

"I don't believe you," Lena giggles.

"Yeah, well, you're drunk," Kara says, a quick half-smile passing her lips.

"Why aren't you drunk?" Lena challenges. "Y'look like you could use it."

Kara laughs huskily. "Hey, did your hand ever get better? The burnt one?" Kara looks down at the older girl, who's occupied gazing at the ceiling fan currently.

"Lil' bit," Lena sighs. "Hey, it's, like, one in the morning," Lena laughs as if this is particularly funny- it's not.

"I should be home now," Kara sinks down further into the couch.

"Me. Too." Lena laughs. "But! I think I'm gonna crash here instead."

"Maybe I will, too," Kara considers.

"Don't. Your mom- she's sooo nice, Kara. Go and be home. Don't worry her," Lena orders with intimidating emerald eyes and a soft giggle.

"You could come with me, you know," Kara offers.

"Nah. Who knows what'd we'd do, drunk and alone together?" Lena winks seductively.

"Um." Kara blinks.

"Go home, Kara," Lena orders sternly. "Now! Run. Unless you're going to trip."

"Uh. Okay," Kara mutters tiredly, shaking her head. Lena gets off of her, and Kara leaves, hearing the pounding music fade into dull thumping as she heads towards home.

When Alex makes it home, it's two in the morning. Her head is thick and dizzy but her face is flushed. Maggie waves as she turns the corner (on foot- she may be a thief, but she's no drunk driver) of Alex's block, heading for home.

The sky feels wonderfully high above her, and the world feels light and welcoming. It is the most ideal version of reality, this moment right now, and so despite the cold air, Alex takes a moment to crane her head back and look at the sky, let it wash over her.

Most miraculous of all, tonight, though? Her school’s team won. Maggie was thrilled. (“We won! We never win! It’s a fucking miracle, Danvers! You know what? I think you might just be good luck, Alex.”)

Alex giggles, leaning against the back of her door for a second.

Then, she lets herself in, thanking God himself that Eliza is the worlds most heavy sleeper.

Alex stumbles up the stairs in a drunken stupor, lazy smiles on her face. She takes a left and makes her way into the room, falling onto her bed, clothes on and all. Except there's a body next to her, one that's very much alive. Thankfully. Probably for the best.

"Kara?" Alex whispers.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Is this, uh.. is this my room, or yours?" Alex asks.

"I'm pretty sure it's mine, Alex," Kara mumbles.

"Oh. Sorry. Could I stay, tonight, though?" She asks. Or maybe it's more like an offer.

"..Yeah, please stay," Kara says, and Alex can feel her nod.

"When did you get home?"

"Like an hour ago?" Kara says.

"And you're still awake?"

"Yeah."

"Well, did you have a good time?" Alex mumbles tiredly.

"I think. Kinda. You?"

"The best," Alex laughs.

"I'm glad," Kara says lightly.

"Yeah. Go to sleep now, little sister," Alex slurs, wrapping a protective arm around Kara.

Kara wholeheartedly appreciates this. At least she’s not alone so early in the morning.

#supergirl #supercorp #sanvers #kara danvers #lena luthor #maggie sawyer #alex danvers #supercorp fanfiction #sanvers fanfiction #gray writes

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searidings · 4 years ago

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23! :D

23. what’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

woof ok so y’know when you get an idea that is literally like one line of dialogue and a ~vibe and nothing more? i’ve had one for 87 years that involves kara saving lena’s life but she does some Questionable Shit in order to pull it off and kind of spirals afterward into a crisis of identity/self-doubt. and all i’ve ever actually written of it is the one-line summary kara saves lena, and begins to lose herself after but let me tell you it lives in my mind rent fckn free

#it's rly a Whole Thing in my mind like i've got a playlist planned i can see the moodboard in my mind #big rocky coastline old car side-of-the-road angst vibes #it's really more of a feeling than it is a 'story idea' but i think abt at least 3 times a week #perhaps one day it will become a reality #one can only hope #thanks for the ask!!! love talking about Her (my unformed idea)#hope you're having an amazing day #writing asks #thebreakfastgod

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skyprincesscommander · 5 years ago

Text

A Heart in Crisis - Part 2

Part 2 to this, though it can be read as a standalone. Summary: (Angst) The prophecy and Lena’s nightmares come to pass when Kara dies in Crisis.

Lena shouldn’t have worried about having to say goodbye. Once the Crisis arrived, time was a luxury no one could afford. Before Supergirl can even open her mouth to ask, Lena insists she accompanies the team to Earth 1. After all, the looming threat of the Monitor’s prophecy would occupy her mind no matter what earth she inhabited.

After arriving, she meets almost twenty people in the space of minutes (and it could barely be considered ‘meeting’ since no one in the room was prioritizing socialization or introductions). In a way it was comforting to know that everyone was focused on a common goal (Lena had always been a task-oriented workaholic anyway). In another, she wasn’t sure she trusted any of them to do the job properly.

So Lena had traveled to a strange earth with even stranger people, none of whom had the opportunity to make themselves less strange to her. Looking around, Lena felt alien, like she was falling through the sky endlessly with no foundation underneath her to keep her mind and body grounded.

But science...science was the same on any earth. Science was what Lena could do. Science is what could make her feel sane, and science could prevent her mind from repeating the Monitor’s words over and over in her head. Science could save Supergirl’s life.

Yet science wasn’t enough to stop Lena from looking up, hoping that each time a door opened that Supergirl would walk in. At this point, Lena didn’t even need to talk to her. She just wanted to see the Kryptonian - to know that she was still here.

Once again, Lena had become intent to only think of Kara as Supergirl. Supergirl was invulnerable - she had cheated death time and time again, and there had never been a moment where Lena had believed National City would have to exist without her. But Kara Danvers was someone Lena had worried for since the moment they met. She was awkward, sometimes jittery, and determined to do what was right at the risk of her life. For years Lena had worried that it was her presence that was constantly putting Kara in danger.

How dare Supergirl have made her worry needlessly for years. How dare she allow Lena’s guilt to fester, making her believe she was indulging in her own selfishness by not being able to let Kara go. Supergirl could take care of herself. So Lena wouldn’t worry, and she’d ignore a quaking heart. But she still wanted to see her.

Unfortunate for Lena, Supergirl had been spending a lot of time with Barry, and it only took one answer from one of the other scientists (Caitlin, perhaps?) for Lena to know why.

Impending death would most certainly be cause for bonding.

She wasn’t the only one frustrated by that fact �� Alex had been pacing around Star Labs since they arrived, her hands on her hips and face solidified into a permanent scowl. Lena could tell the elder Danvers was attempting to remain stoic, but the shaking hands on her sides gave away the panic coursing through her veins.

Luthor’s, of course, don’t panic. They problem-solve. So that’s what Lena was going to do. Mar Novu may call himself a God, but as far as Lena could tell, Gods had been wrong since the beginning of time.

And sometimes denial is the only way someone can push on. The first few days are for preparation. The superheroes come and go at a whim while the scientists attempt to find a solution for antimatter. Everything seems routine, but the air is laced with fear. The clocks ticking on the walls become deafening. No matter what she does, Lena quivers. If she speaks, her voice shakes. If she types, she constantly hits backspace to fix her errors. If someone speaks over the comms, she would shudder in anticipation of the news that was coming closer and closer to reality.

And then the Anti-Monitor arrives, and all hell breaks loose. They plan a mission on an enormous scale. It’s a plan filled with endless possibilities of failure, experiments that no one on any earth has tried before, and for Supergirl to attempt to stall the enemy with Barry and all the other heroes to give them the time to complete their tasks.

Everyone's breaths become deeper, their eyes watching the ground. There isn’t a person in the room who hasn’t guessed what’s coming. Superman is the only one who protests the plan, if only for the sake of his cousin. Everyone else had already taken their turn over the past week. He doesn’t win the debate. One life versus infinite lives just doesn’t stand as an argument. That was the type of statistic that Lena had lived her life by since she was able to conjure thought.

But that was when her brain ruled her life. The heart has no such consistency.

“Suit up,” Oliver Queen orders, and the room comes alive.

Lena finds the Kryptonian standing on a balcony, looking fondly out at a world that isn’t even hers. The sun is beginning to set, casting the warmest glow on her skin. Lena can’t help it, she has to take a moment to admire her.

“What do you think the odds are of this plan working?” Supergirl doesn’t look at Lena when she asks the question. It makes Lena want to quieten her own heartbeat, just knowing that Kara probably knew it was her simply by listening to it.

“The science is experimental at best. But it seems the right people are here to do the job.”

“Yeah. They are.” Supergirl turns her head, the yellow sun reflecting in her eye. Even in its warmth, Supergirl’s fear glimmers on the surface. It takes a few seconds for her to form her next sentence, and when she does it tumbles out ungracefully. “I can’t fail another world. Not again.”

Lena walks next to the hero, shaking her head. “You didn’t fail Krypton. You’re Supergirl, the most persistent person I’ve ever met. If something could be done, you would have done it. Stop putting blame on a child for not saving a doomed planet. There’s no shame in surviving.”

Supergirl’s eyes fill with affection and longing. However just as quickly as it comes, her eyes discolor.

They both feel it. This is the moment. The last moment they have to say what they need to say to each other. But there’s not enough time to say anything that might make a difference. “Do you have to go?”

Supergirl stares at Lena, unguarded and unquestionable. “I need to save my universe.” Lena’s breath hitches underneath that intense gaze, and it’s only when Supergirl steps onto the balcony’s railing that Lena finally comprehends her meaning. Lena briskly steps forward one last time behind her.

“I don’t suppose there is any point to ask you not to be a hero?” Lena says pathetically.

Supergirl twists around, and after a single moment, something happens that Lena didn’t envision experiencing again. Kara laughs. It’s not boisterous. The laughter doesn’t quieten the screaming in Lena’s mind, nor does the shining of the super’s eyes stop the hero’s tears. But Lena can see Kara. It’s a reminder of something. Something Lena had long ago tried to block out, like a memory calling from across an ocean. Something so simple, most people might forget it existed. Lena loved Kara.

It’s not like before, where the initial thought was shoved into a box and taped shut with feelings of hatred and pain. Kara’s laughter is a reminder of burgers between work and victorious game nights. Of investigations and awkward almost dates. Of a superhero and a genius working together, staring at each other in disbelief that such a union could exist.

Lena had always loved Kara.

She must have smiled too because even as Kara’s laughter fades, it leaves an echo on Kara’s aura. However, when even that begins to diminish, Kara turns from her.

Lena is grateful for it. If this must be the last time she sees Kara, she wants to remember her smiling, standing in the sun as ethereal as a Goddess could be. That way, even with Kara’s back turned, she can pretend that the shaking in Kara’s shoulders is from laughter, and not from the anguished tears that she knows they are. Perhaps Kara turned for the exact same reason. Because Lena’s smile had begun to fade too.

Lena doesn’t need superhearing to catch Kara’s massive sigh. “Be safe, Lena.” Then, Kara drops from the balcony and disappears with a whoosh.

She could have been half a world away before Lena replied with a whisper. “Please come back to me, Kara.”

Half a world or not, she knows Kara heard her.

For the mission, everyone is connected by comms, and Lena quickly realizes that even if she’s away from the battle, it’s just as frightening listening to sounds of explosions and screams while she can’t see what’s going on. Her nightmares start to play in her mind with each sound, even when she knows Kara is nowhere near the event. It continues like that for hours. It’s Superman’s scream that freezes her to her core. Lena is sitting, but she feels her knees buckle. A hand flies over her mouth to stifle the instant sob that rises to the surface. The others in the room are confused - they can’t recognize the specific meaning behind Superman’s cry. When he repeats the scream a second time, shouting Kara’s name brokenly, Lena collapses onto the floor. She uses one hand to try and pull herself up while the other is still failing to silence her sounds of despair. From the outside, Lena must have looked like a fallen, elderly lady trying to rise from the ground, her muscles no longer able to function normally.

Behind her are cries of her name, but Lena is grasping for walls, anything solid that can steady her. But nothing can. Kara is gone. And there is no universe Lena can save that will replace her.

As Superman continues to howl, Lena adds her own wail to the symphony.

Barry Allen is the second casualty in the battle, disappearing without a trace. Between the two loses, no one says a thing. Superman returns to Star Labs with Kara dangling limply in his arms, her head gravitating toward the floor. Lena leaves the room immediately. She tries to conjure up her last image of Kara laughing, but it molds with a fresh image of a lifeless body and closed eyes. The pain in her heart spreads with each beat until it feels like her toes are burning and her fingertips are sobbing. Unwilling to allow anyone to see her so broken, Lena stays isolated for hours, mourning alone. With each whimper comes another regret, another sharp stab of guilt as she thought of how she had treated the woman she loved in the past months. In this moment, she wishes she never knew Kara was Supergirl. Lena beats one fist against her skull. She wishes Kara wasn’t a self-sacrificing fool.

Lena beats the other fist. She should have been able to save her. Lena cradles her head in her hands, unable to do anything but surrender to her own thoughts as her tears create a pool between her knees. If she had the time, she’d create an ocean.

Even if her mind protests, her body eventually gets up on its own accord and steers itself toward Kara. It had happened so many times in the past. She would be knee-deep in a new project or have fifty emails to respond to, but suddenly she would think of Kara and travel to Catco or the loft and forget everything about her life for a single night because there’s was only one thing her mind and heart was concerned with. Even with the multiverse still in danger, her only thought was still Kara. She sees her body on the slab from the doorway. It paralyses her, and she doesn’t know how long she waits to step foot into the room. Eventually, one step at a time, she forces herself closer. In Lena’s simulations, she had never seen Kara’s body. Why would she? She wanted to excise emotions, not bring new ones to the fold. In her nightmares, it was the opposite. Her imagination would conjure the most horrific images possible - mostly excess blood, crooked limbs, and empty eyes. But lying on that slab, Kara looked so peaceful. Even her lifeless body was trying to tell Lena that she was content with her sacrifice. Lena tucked away a stray piece of hair that lay on Kara’s cheek. “All those times I tried to protect you, Kara, I was so afraid. So afraid of this.” Lena doesn’t move her hand away from Kara’s cheek. “No one ever befriended a Luthor and left unscathed. We only ever brought darkness and tragedy to the people in our lives. So when you came along and brought light and happiness, I was always afraid that the universe would try and maintain the balance. I thought I would be the reason something awful happened to you. But you saw the best in me, and what could I do but believe you?” A new wave of tears hit her like a tsunami. Lena looked to the ceiling, trying to fight gravity itself to stop them from falling. But it was no use, the droplets stained Kara’s suit, seeping into the material. “And then I found out you were Supergirl and I was so...so angry. I thought you kept your secret from me because you thought I’d bring darkness to your life too.” Lena brought her hand down from her cheek and traced the S on Kara’s chest delicately with her fingertip. “I thought you never believed in the things you said. And I hated you so much for making me fearful. Luthors don’t get scared, not about anything. But the truth is, whether you were a bumbling reporter or an invincible alien, I was always going to be scared for you. Because I realized the only reason Luthor’s don’t get scared is because they don’t…they don’t…” “You shouldn’t be here.” Alex’s voice is harsh behind her. It’s deep, unsteady, and almost unrecognizable. And yet, with the degree of pain laced in that tone, Lena knew it could be no one else. She turns around, not afraid of her emotions being on display for Alex. She anticipated they’d look about the same anyway. “I’m so sorry, Alex…” her apology goes unheard.

Alex marches forward into the light, eyes red and hot. “Because of you, I had to watch my sister live her final days in misery! She should have been laughing and singing and eating, and doing everything she couldn’t because you couldn’t see past her one mistake!” Lena gulped. She knew Alex needed an outlet. Luthors were masters at emotional suppression, but even her own boxes had begun to overflow, begging to burst. However, Lena was not the one who deserved that relief, however much it can bring. In some ways, Alex’s hatred is comforting. It wouldn’t be justice if the universe left her alone to hate herself. “Well, are you satisfied now, Lena? Is this karma for what she did to you?” Alex bellows. Lena can do nothing but grimace. She doesn’t look away. She doesn’t deserve to. Alex continues, but her voice drops threateningly low. “What right do you have to come in here and cry over my sister’s body? After what you’ve done?” “None.” Once again, Alex doesn’t acknowledge she spoke.

“If you think you can be here out of some misplaced respect for your history with her, you lying to yourself!” Lena nods. “I am a liar. You’re right. And a hypocrite.” Her voice suddenly wavered, the change as abrupt as a car in a collision. “I...I wanted her to believe I hated her when…”

She couldn’t finish the sentence. She just couldn’t. Her body crumbled.

Maybe it was the piece of Kara that had rubbed off on Alex, but for some reason, she feels the elder Danvers arms wrapping around her shoulder right at the moment Lena’s knees hit the ground. Alex doesn’t say a word - Lena suspects there is still too much fury stuck in her throat to offer any sort of verbal comfort. That was a reality they could both deal with while unable to face the rest of it. Together they weep, devoid of hope in the presence of the one woman who gave it to them both.

Thanks for reading! Not that confident about this one, but it ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated, so there’s one more part coming! Kara’s resurrection obviously included. That should be a little happier methinks. Final Part

#supercorp #supercorp fanfic #my fanfic #lena luthor #kara danvers #supergirl #I am so tired so I hope there aren't mistakes #I'll rewrite if i ever post on ao3 lol

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