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prince-liest · 8 months ago

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I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

#ask #personal #Anonymous #long post #t #aroace #ace #he cares about Vox at this point!#but that's. not really the same as respecting him.#anyway this next chapter is important to me because it's very #how do I put this #“this was okay at the moment but that doesn't mean he's okay with it overall and forever”#“and it does not mean that they've 'progressed' their relationship to the point where Alastor being aroace is a 'nonissue'”#“(feat. ofc the heavy implication that it was an issue in the first place)”#ANYWAY. SOMETIMES I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPRESSING THIS IN NON-FIC WORDS #SO HOPEFULLY THE FIC AS IT CONTINUES SPEAKS FOR ME. I AM GLAD THAT IT HAS SPOKEN TO YOU SO FAR <3 THANK YOU!!#sexuality #my writing #hazbin hotel #this is a hot button topic atm and it took me a minute to write a reply #that didn't seem like it invited discourse lmfao #actually I still feel weird posting my opinion this strongly oops OH WELL

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weirdowithaquill · 1 month ago

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Traintober 2024: Day 17 - Seagull

Edward, 1931

It was a cool evening at Vicarstown Sheds. For once, all the engines were there, a truly rare occurrence ever since Thomas had gotten his branchline and the new Big Sheds had been built at the other end of the line. However, an incident earlier in the morning had left those sheds blocked off, and all six of the Fat Controller’s engines were sleeping out in the old sheds for the night. Percy had even brought up a bunch of old trucks that needed repairing so he could join the others! Though Edward wondered if that was less because the trucks needed bringing up and more because Percy hated being away from everyone, even if he fought with the big engines like a cat does with dogs.

Somehow, the conversation turned towards the engines and their families. James was not fond of talking about his – old scars ran deep – while neither Percy nor Henry had any family to speak of, not in the way that Edward, Thomas or Gordon did.

“I only met my first three siblings,” Gordon said. “They were Great Northern, Sir Frederick Banbury and Flying Scotsman. Fine engines, important and powerful - quite like me.” “Have they ever stuck on turntables?” asked Percy cheekily. Gordon huffed crossly, but didn’t rise to the bait. It was a rare night of peace in the sheds, and none of the engines really wanted to disturb it.

“What about you, Edward?” asked Thomas. “You spent the most time with your siblings out of all of us, didn’t you?” Edward chuckled softly. “I did,” he agreed. “I was part of a group of express engines known as ‘Seagulls’. My specific class was the ‘Larger Seagulls’, and we were very proud engines – we could get into such arguments that you wouldn’t believe! But we were close. I remember when they tried putting superheaters in some of us – we looked so ungainly it was crazy. The Fat Director had a different superheater put in me when I came to Sodor though.”

“Do you have any other stories for us?” quizzed Henry, genuinely curious. The big engine had never had a family outside of the engines on Sodor, and had always been curious about how classmates interacted.

“Oh yes!” grinned Edward. “One time, Princess Louise was coming to visit us, and my brother Number 36 was chosen to take the special train. He was very pleased about it and boasted endlessly until we were sick in the smokebox of him! But then the Princess became ill, and she wasn’t able to make it. Poor 36 looked about a minute away from tears, and we all decided to try and cheer him up, so we convinced the cleaners to dress him up for the big event anyway. They really went for it too! They covered him in flowers and flags and various coat of arms’ until he was barely able to see! The cleaners even took off his front brakepipe to not ‘interrupt’ the decorations. 36 felt better after that. The Princess did come a few years later, but 33 got to pull the train instead of 36 – and boy did neither of them shut up about it! The pair were practically at each other’s funnels for weeks leading up to it, and then it was over and they were right as rain again. I suppose that’s the best story I have – we were a bit boring as a class.”

“Boring?” snorted Gordon. “You have a sibling who pulled a Princess!” The big engine looked very peeved at the idea of an engine like Edward being the one to pull such an important person, but still could only smile when Edward rolled his eyes fondly.

“Yes, Gordon, boring. Or need I mention the fact one of your brothers was in a movie, at the Wembley Exhibition and has recently begun pulling trains all the way up the East Coast?” Gordon snorted in amusement, his eyes softening as he remembered his eager younger brother.

“Scottie always was keen to make an impression,” he hummed gently. “I always wonder what he’ll do next.” Edward could only agree, telling several more mundane little stories about his siblings and their various incidents. But eventually, he slowed, and gazed out towards the station.

“Ah well, I’d best get some sleep,” yawned Edward. “I’ve got a freight train over the bridge tomorrow!” Gordon paused at that, his eyes going wide. None of the other engines seemed to pick up on the subtle shift in their express engine, instead focused on Edward.

“Would you like me to take it?” Gordon asked slowly. The entire shed went quiet, all the engines gazing over at their express engine in shock. Gordon never offered to help with any trains, and especially not goods trains. Edward just smiled softly.

“That’s very kind of you, Gordon, but I can manage. I know you don’t want to be seen with little old me, but it’s been years since I last saw my siblings… and I’d like to. Maybe ol’ Nobby will still be round too!”

Gordon, Henry and James shared a worried look as Edward yawned again and closed his eyes. None of them knew what to say, and spent the rest of the night trading glances and trying to think of a way to dissuade Edward from going over the Vicarstown bridge.

But there was nothing they could do. The next morning, Gordon took his morning express, James set off with a local passenger train and Henry puffed away to pull a heavy goods train that had him huffing and wheezing. Thomas and Percy followed shortly after; Thomas with his faithful coaches and Percy with a line of trucks needing to be taken down the line.

Edward set about preparing his goods train with a little extra puff in his cylinders. He hummed to himself as he pushed the trucks into a line, whistling cheerfully to his friend Trevor the Traction Engine as he trundled by.

Edward set out not too late in the morning, but late enough that the express would be catching him while he was at Barrow.

Edward puffed along without a care in the world. The sun was shining, the grass was a gorgeous shade of green that put Henry to shame, and the sky was an endless blue. There was nary a cloud in sight as Edward rolled along, passing by fields as he headed for the bridge.

The rails were so smooth too, a sign Edward always took to mean he was nearing the Barrow steelworks and riding on its rails. They were always the smoothest rails in the area, and possibly the nicest Edward had ever run on.

That was when Edward rounded the bend and puffed into the yards. Nothing seemed out of place at first, as Edward puffed along, shunting his train away into its proper siding. Only… where were the Seagulls? The class always seemed to be milling around, no matter what. And yet… it was stonily silent. Edward puffed deeper into the yards, following its curves with practiced ease as he headed for where he knew the coal and water to be. If his siblings were anywhere, it would be there… right?

They were not there. Only a few ex-Midland engines milled about, all looking oddly smug. “I didn’t know one of you was in steam,” snorted one, shooting Edward an odd look. Edward scowled.

“Why wouldn’t I be? My controller needs me. Now, where can I find the other Seagulls?” Two of the Midlanders exchanged a look and directed Edward towards a part of the yard he’d never gone before. It was deep behind the sheds, along a short line that took Edward deep into the industrial heartland of Barrow.

And that’s where he found them. Or more accurately, what was left of them. Every single one of his siblings had been scrapped, melted down and ripped apart and twisted and mangled beyond recognition. All of them were there, from peppy young 125 who’d always been so excited to see the day right the way through to 36 himself, his once gleaming paintwork and pride reduced to nothing.

They were all gone.

Edward was the last of his kind, the last of his class. The rest of them were here, torn apart and awaiting trucks to be loaded into and hauled away forever.

Edward returned to the yards looking very pale, and found Gordon had shooed off the Midlanders. “I’m… sorry, Edward,” Gordon eventually managed. Edward could only reply with a small sob.

“They’re all gone. I’ve lost them all. I didn’t do anything… I want to go home.” Gordon gently buffered up to his friend, and guided him back towards the station. It would look odd – him and the old engine double-heading the express – but Edward needed it.

“It’s ok Edward,” murmured Gordon. “You’ve got us, don’t you?”

It was the last truly kind thing the big blue engine would say to Edward in nearly two decades.

Back to the Master Post

#weirdowithaquill #railway series #fanfiction writer #thomas the tank engine #traintober #traintober 2024 #ttte edward #ttte gordon #prompt: Seagull #who's ready for edward angst?

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sunderingstars · 2 months ago

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✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ GENDER ⌝

sampo analysis m.list

— what the stars reveal: interpretative analysis, theory, elation!sampo

— word count: under 1k

— overview: (as of 2.5) a companion piece to my sampo character story & brughel poisson analysis! an examination of the similarities between sampo’s relationship with gender and the relationship higher beings have with gender.

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Across the board, Aeons and higher beings in Honkai: Star Rail seem to have more complex relationships with gender than the average character. Beyond going by They/Them pronouns (further emphasized by THEY/THEM in recent updates), Aeons often have androgynous looks and even “multiplicity” of identity. It makes sense — beings who exist so far above mortal comprehension would obviously have a different understanding of gender (if subscribing to it at all) and be less likely to care about mortal binaries. As such, Their identities, much like every other part of Them, are multi-faceted and vast, only able to be attempted to be understood by mortal frameworks (which often don’t fully capture the identity anyways).

Higher beings closely affiliated with Aeons also have nuanced experiences of gender, like Emanators. Emanators are sometimes referred to by the “it” pronoun set, as shown by Boothill at the beginning of 2.2’s Trailblaze Mission:

While looking through the Data Bank and Official Wiki, it also seems that Emanators can be referred to by any and all pronoun sets according to the situation — for example, the Wingperor of the Wingweavers (Abundance) is referred to by binary pronouns (he or she), the Harmonic Strings (Harmony) are referred to by they/them pronouns since they are multiple embodiments of Xipe, and the Noblesse Worm (Elation) is referred to by it/its pronouns.

From this, we can surmise that Emanators — in a categorical sense — exist in a genderfluid state. Depending on the specific Emanator’s position and relationship with their Aeon, they can be referred to by any set of pronouns, perhaps even ones that haven’t been established in-game yet.

It is important to note that in Boothill’s specific case, the “it” pronoun may be used as a way to dehumanize — rather than referring to the Emanator by it/its pronouns the Emanator themself chose to go by, Boothill almost seems to be projecting an “it” status onto them (i.e. assuming that because of their specific position as an Emanator, they are no longer “human” or relatable). This is an issue Emanators may run into writ large; despite existing in a multitude of different states, there is most likely dehumanization that comes from separate sources, the kind that reduces their identity to the “other” rather than understanding the nuanced existence they inhabit.

It is also important to note that both Emanators and Aeons have a history of changing appearance. The aforementioned Harmonic Strings can take the form of any Family member regardless of gender, Tingyun was used as a vessel for Phantylia, and Aha Themself has been known to assume mortal form to toy with others. As such, any character who is able to quickly and effortlessly change appearance is a notable candidate for higher existence theories.

Which, of course, brings us to Sampo. As I detailed in my Character Story & Brughel Poisson analysis, Sampo not only has a history of genderfluidity, but of physically changing appearance with ease. Brughel Poisson seems to be an alias he uses often, to the point it’s implied he has an entire place of residence in the Overworld as her. While this could be purely for the benefit of his scams, it also shows a casual disregard for gender norms, the kind that almost seems to imply a more nuanced, complicated existence than what mortal frameworks can offer.

I also have a theory that the reason Madam Poisson was so confident in talking about the wigs in Part IV is because the wigs don’t exist. If Sampo is able to shapeshift on his own, then there would be no need for wigs or other such amenities — his different identities would be so convincing because he literally changes his own appearance. Having such a power and doing so with ease would place him much closer to a higher being in my mind.

However, even if we aren’t assuming he can transform on his own, his relationship with gender still seems very Aeonic in nature. Or rather — he doesn’t seem to care about it beyond what it can do for him. Again, the ease with which he embraces genderfluidity speaks to a deeper and more complicated relationship with gender, one that has been seen overwhelmingly in the cases of Aeons and Emanators.

(Note: Sparkle has also been shown to directly shapeshift across genders as a part of the Masked Fools, however this power seems to come directly from her mask. Sampo, on the other hand, is able to manipulate his appearance (through his own power or otherwise) without his mask, giving the sense that his mask is either A. Only for decoration or B. Holding a power even more deep-rooted to the Elation than that of a common Masked Fool.)

Overall, I see lots of similarities between Sampo’s experience of gender and the experiences of higher beings. The almost uncaring nature towards gender norms, the casual fluidity of being, the ease of transformation — it’s all there. Also, as a genderfluid person myself, I just think it’s really neat!

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ જ⁀➴ thank you for reading to the end!

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#⌞ ✎ sunder.writes ⌝#⌞ ✧ super.nova ⌝#⌞ 🎭 ⌝#hsr #honkai star rail #honkai: star rail #sampo #sampo koski #sampo hsr #hsr sampo #sampo honkai star rail #analysis #hsr analysis #hsr theory

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1d1195 · 1 year ago

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Zipper Extra V

Read the rest of Zipper here

@jhughesangel (I hope this is you, I think you changed your Username on me since the last time I posted about these cutie pies) I hope you like this, I think you're probably my #1 Zipper fan so it's most important to me that you enjoy it specifically💕

This part is based on this ask from my amazing 🐱-anon, but I lowkey struggled as usual so it turned into Harry being whiny again but I gave her a full blown sob-fest. So hopefully I got it a little right--maybe a little more than normal anyway.

~4.7k words

Warnings: fluff, angst. Maybe a little bit of 18+ stuff but don't blink or you'll miss it.

(Maybe listen to Lover for some ambiance if you feel like it.)

He should have asked her out the moment he met her. They should have been one of those couples that had known since grade school they were destined for each other. It shouldn’t have taken Harry twenty years to come to his senses.

“Are you sure you want to be with Harry?”

It happened while they were at dinner with friends. Her friend Sarah had been wary of their relationship essentially since it started. Harry wasn’t supposed to hear their conversation, he was seated a few seats across and down from the pair of them. It was a hushed whisper and honestly, he had to strain to hear anyway while the guys in the group chatted about something else. Another pair of ladies were off getting drinks at the bar. Leaving Sarah and his angel to chat.

“What?” She nearly laughed. It was a joke, surely, that one of her best friends would say such a thing. Of course, she was sure. In fact, she wasn’t sure of much else in her life. Christmas was on the twenty-fifth, Australia was wider than the moon, nine times four was thirty-six, and she was in love with Harry. It was a fact of life.

But whatever the guys were talking about was irrelevant. Harry was focused so very hard on hearing every word of her conversation—especially when he heard the beginning of it. “I just worry you’re settling,” Sarah whispered. “You don’t have to, you know. You shouldn’t.”

“I really love Harry,” she affirmed. That made Harry feel marginally better.

“But he was an asshole,” Sarah reminded her. “Like...for a really long time,” what hurt more than them talking about this while Harry was in earshot...even if they thought he wasn’t paying attention was that Sarah was right.

“But was he?” She smirked like it was a joke. Surely it was a joke. Sarah loved Harry. She loved Harry. They had a rough start. A different start than most love stories. But it didn’t mean that he didn’t love her any less than if they had a normal approach to their romance. Harry worshipped her now. He wished he always did. He would probably regret it for the rest of his life.

“Babe, he should have kissed the ground you walked on for the entire time you knew him. Yes. He was an asshole.”

“He is not an asshole,” she said softly. Bless her gentle heart for defending him. Harry wanted to kiss her and thank her for being so kind even though she was wrong. Sarah was completely correct. He should have kissed the ground she walked on all the time. For as long as he knew her. He should have asked her out the moment he met her. They should have been one of those couples that had known since grade school they were destined for each other. It shouldn’t have taken Harry twenty years to come to his senses.

“Look, I love Harry,” Sarah said. At least she knew that much. “I just...don’t want your heart to get broken because Harry’s already showed exactly who he is.”

Harry knew that he had a lot to make up for still. But she always reassured him that it wasn’t necessary. It wouldn’t stop him from trying to fix the years of heartache he caused. Harry still thought about the sound of her perfect voice cracking when she asked him why he didn’t like her. Back when he was feeding her Chinese food because he was so worried about her health and how sick she looked from working herself so hard.

Maybe it would never be enough. But Harry wouldn’t let her slip away. Not after wasting all the time of their childhoods, teens, and early adulthood. Harry would never stop proving that this was good, they were meant to be. It was why she instilled confidence in Harry when he seemed like the shittiest boyfriend in the world: forgetting her birthday, giving her the silent treatment when he was frustrated, or when he accidentally ruined her white T-shirt with one of his blue socks. She felt—no, knew—that they were meant to be.

So why wasn’t she telling Sarah exactly that? The pause in their conversation was deafening. Even over the laughter of their friends. Sarah was sipping her drink. Like she was grateful she got through to her. Harry waited anxiously for her to say something.

But she never did.

Sarah didn’t bring it up again or press further. It was all Harry could think about. He wanted an answer. He wanted to know why she paused. Why wasn’t she defending him? Was she...agreeing? The other ladies returned from getting more drinks and the conversation looped back into everyone chatting away.

But Harry felt terrible. She seemed to notice almost instantly. Of course, she did. She always noticed the change in Harry’s demeanor. Always worried about him. She was perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

Without fanfare, she got up to change seats to get closer to him; people shifted silently allowing her space. She perched gently on one of his legs, leaned forward, gently kissed his cheek. “You okay, baby?” She asked quietly, nosing at his ear.

No. Not at all. “M’fine,” he grabbed her hand and wrapped his fingers between hers. It didn’t make sense that she would suddenly feel like Sarah was right. Their fingers fit together perfectly. It was fate. They were...perfectly...imperfect.

“Wanna leave so we can go make out?” She asked with a smile.

It was hard to be frustrated when she was adorable. He wished that he had gotten his act together years ago. “Yes, please, kitten.” She pecked his cheek again.

The ride home was quiet. She didn’t pay much mind to it because she got a little sleepy after having wine. Harry took the time to think about how terrible he was as a boyfriend. What her silence meant. Was he making this a bigger deal than needed? He should have asked right then.

But they arrived home and made out for a significant amount of time before falling asleep. Harry had his hands in her hair and his lips devoured hers. His tongue searching for the answer to a question he didn’t ask out loud.

His hands slid down her body and back under her shirt. It made him moan against her lips while she kissed him. An involuntary shiver coursed through her body as he touched her. She dreamed of Harry like this more often than she cared to admit. More so when they started working together. Ever more so when they started being friends. She dreamed of Harry’s voice in her ear whispering to her while he kissed her, touched her, slid into her, and made her whimper, begging silently for a euphoric release. “S’matter, kitten?” His lips touched the curve of her ear making her turn to mush in his hands. “Y’worked up?”

She shook her head. “Just...really happy,” she whispered back. He smiled into her skin. He forgot about Sarah’s question. Forgot about how she didn’t say anything to defend him. It wasn’t the time to worry about it. Right now, he wanted to focus on her beautiful body, her soft lips, and just having her in his arms where he felt she belonged most.

Harry’s cologne made her dizzy, made her feel so safe and warm. She didn’t think about what Sarah said. It wasn’t a thought in her mind. Harry wasn’t her settling. He was worth the wait. No matter how painful it was at times. He was hers now; that’s all that mattered. Even at his worst, he was just a bit grumpier than she would have liked.

If not being friends for so long of their lives and not being a couple for just as long—if that brought her to him now, then it was well worth it. She would redo it over and over again and not change one thing. Harry was perfectly... imperfect. Their life just got stuck for a minute. Like when a zipper gets caught on something. They had to clear up the issue and start over from the spot it stuck. But they fit together... perfectly. Snug together zipped to the top. This is where she was meant to be. She wasn’t settling. Not even a little.

Harry was unbelievably nice following the night out. She wasn’t complaining in the slightest. It was just a little different. Not quite out of character, but the behavior usually followed a missed date or something that irritated her slightly.

He had to have gotten up an extra hour earlier to bring her coffee and walk with her to work. He held her hand and massaged his thumb on the back of her hand. During lunch she spoke rapidly about her cases, the book she was reading, a new recipe she found and wanted to try. He nodded eagerly at everything. Harry hardly spoke as she filled their lunch hour with just her voice.

But the way he gazed at her made her feel so warm and fuzzy. He had this smile that made half his face quirk up at an angle that made him look like an angel. She loved him so much it made her stomach twist. “What?” She asked wiping her hand across her face. “Do I have something on my face?” He chuckled, shaking his head. Silently, he walked around his desk, pulled her to her feet, wrapped his arm around her waist, cupped her hand in his, and began to slowly sway to the music playing from his phone. Her heart felt like it wasn’t whole up until that point but suddenly it felt like all the pieces snapped together. She looked up at him curiously, a laugh falling out of her mouth as she did. “What is this, Harry?”

He shrugged. “Jus’... I love you, a lot,” he murmured into her ear, pressing a kiss on her temple.

“Enough to dance in the middle of a lunch break?”

“Especially,” he nodded firmly. As if it was obvious, as if it was the only thing that made sense. If this was what everyone did when they worked.

She tried to remember if she had forgotten his birthday. Or their anniversary. But nothing popped into her mind. They were in work clothes, uncomfortable shoes, and her hair was tied up, so it was out of her face. It wasn’t her best look. It wasn’t necessarily what she would consider a good time to dance. But Harry never ceased to amaze her with how romantic he could be.

“Harry Styles, I love you so extremely, much,” she whispered. The sigh that left him sounded relieved, but she didn’t think much of it. She was happy to be in Harry’s arms in the middle of work and dancing like it was the most natural and normal thing in the world.

Even if it wasn’t, she thought it was because of him.

But just a few days later Harry practically ignored her. They were watching a movie together and Harry was more engrossed in his phone than the characters on screen.

“Harry?”

“Hmm?”

She blinked in surprise. “Um... are you mad?” He shook his head, but it felt like the opposite. Frowning, she turned her attention back to the movie. Maybe it was work. There was no way he could be mad at her over something. Nothing came to mind. “Upset?” She asked without looking at him.

“Everything is fine, love.”

She reached out for his hand, he held it lightly, brought it to his lips, and then dropped it back to the couch. Maybe she was reading into it. But dancing in the office in the middle of the week couldn’t have meant nothing and it certainly couldn’t have reverted to this standoffish tone and behavior in a matter of days. Harry scrolled through his phone again silently. “Are you sure—”

“Kitten. M’fine.”

The frown on her lips and between her eyebrows deepened. She was sad that Harry was upset. Even if he wasn’t admitting it. But more so she was worried that it was something she did. Sometimes she had to piece it together because of the knack Harry had for not telling her when something bothered him.

After a few moments of silence, a few moments longer of him ignoring her, he put his phone back on the coffee table. Carefully he pulled her into his lap, so she straddled his waist and he smiled at her like he did right before they danced together. “I adore you,” he murmured bringing her mouth down to his.

She forgot any worry she had when he did that.

It was impossible not to notice that Harry was still acting...weird. Since they started dating, he had always been more loving toward her, of course. Especially compared to the decades he wasn’t dating her. But this week...he was nearly attached to her hip. It was like he was nervous to leave her alone or move from her side. Maybe it was something in the air; they were approaching their second anniversary. Maybe Harry was trying to actively remember it this year. It wasn’t his fault—not really. He forgot her birthday again...and their first anniversary. But he warned her from the very beginning that it would happen. She didn’t mind. He always made it up to her and it wasn’t like he...meant to forget it. He set reminders and everything, but he kept managing to be busy.

Perhaps he was starting with the romance before he forgot it so it would lessen the blow.

But then he switched to that off-putting behavior like when they were watching a movie. It switched so rapidly back and forth. Hour by hour. It was like she had two different boyfriends.

After dinner, Harry was in his silent phase again. He was nearly ignoring her. She hated it. “Um...I’m gonna head home, baby. Do you need anything?” She asked.

“No, thank you, kitten.”

He didn’t even try to stop her. Didn’t worry about her Ubering across town alone. Nothing. It was completely different than the guy that begged her to stay the night—that he would wake her and dress her while she slept all in the name of snuggling with her until the morning. Sighing, she rubbed a hand over her face, grabbed her bag and kissed Harry on the cheek as she left him on the couch.

Certainly, she would have remembered if she did something to upset him. She tried to remember every interaction over the beginning of the week when his weird behavior started. As she got into her Uber her phone rang, alerting her that Harry was calling.

“I booked us a weekend getaway,” he murmured.

Blinking at the window, she bit the inside of her lip. “Oh?”

There was a smile in his voice. “Booked us all kinds of pampering, kitten,” he said excitedly.

Oh, he was the most confusing man she had ever met.

Their dinner was eaten in silence. Right after they watched another movie without really watching because Harry was busy melting her into the couch cushions with his lips and hands. Harry started clearing his own dish and silverware before she finished eating.

It was enough. She got out of her seat, leaving the plate on the table and followed Harry to the kitchen. He kept his back to her, so she had a moment to look at his cozy frame, draped in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. It made her dizzy to be around him when he looked so cozy. It made her sad she had to bring up something that might upset them both.

But she needed to be an adult. They needed to talk. “Harry, what has been up with you? You’ve been practically suffocating for half the week, and now you’ve all but...stopped talking to me. We’ve talked about this; you have to tell me when things bother you. We can’t use the silent treatment.”

Harry hated the way she said “we”. He hated it because she meant it so kindly—they were a partnership. They would get through it together no matter what it was. Even though everything she said was all on Harry.

But she didn’t tell him what she was thinking either. That much was made clear by her conversation with Sarah. Maybe she resented Harry more than he thought. More than she let on. Maybe that was her issue. But Harry didn’t want her to have an issue. He wanted her to be her—she was perfect. Truly. But sometimes Harry thought she didn’t push back. Maybe if she did when they were younger, things would be different. They would have gotten together sooner. At best, that was joint blame. But at worst, of course, that was Harry and his unapproachable nature the entire time he knew her.

But Harry didn’t speak.

“Is this just...some... trick? So you don’t forget our anniversary? I already told you I don’t care—”

“Jesus Christ, that too,” he muttered to himself and ran a hand through his hair. Just another thing that he was bad at. Another reason she was just settling for less than she deserved. She watched his head fall lower. His shoulders slumping forward. He needed to do something about the important dates.

She sighed, feeling exasperated by his reluctance to tell her what was wrong. “Harry, I’m trying to help, but—”

“Why didn’t you defend me?” He asked. His voice cracked as he spoke.

The sound of distress in his voice made her stomach violently ache. She had never heard Harry so sad before. It was heartbreaking. “What are you talking about, Harry?” She tilted her head and the annoyance in her voice was gone. Harry was clearly upset, and that broke her.

“Sarah said y’settled,” his voice was so sullen. Sad. The poor thing. He was leaning against the sink, facing away from her. Harry was tall and fit. His shoulders were broad, and she never felt as safe walking down the street at night as she did when Harry was beside her.

Right now, he looked so small and broken. His tall frame shrank under the weight of whatever he was feeling. But she didn’t even know what he was talking about; what did he mean about Sarah? “What... when did Sarah say that?”

“When we were out with everybody,” he mumbled. “Last weekend. Y’jus’... sat there,” he couldn’t face her. Because of course Sarah was right. Harry didn’t deserve her. She was too good.

“Baby,” she whispered softly and touched his back. She felt him stiffen beneath her touch. She frowned. “I don’t know—”

She was going to make him say it. She was going to make him say the very words that plagued him since the dinner conversation he overheard. This was worse than just thinking about it all week. This was punishment for everything he had ever forgotten. Every moment of those twenty something years accumulated into this one moment of absolute anguish—and he had to say it out loud with his own words. “Sarah said y’settled for me. And... that y’shouldn’t be with me.”

There was a flurry of activity in her brain trying to place what he was talking about.

“Harry,” she tried to keep her voice quiet and soft. She didn’t want to say he was ridiculous because it was so obvious, he was upset, and she didn’t want to minimize that feeling. Harry had a lot of emotions for someone who rarely expressed how he was feeling (except for grumpy—he was good at that one). “Baby, please look at me,” she whispered.

“No,” he muttered grumpily.

She sighed. “Baby, please,” she pleaded softly wrapping her arms around his waist. “S’okay,” she promised. “We’re fine.”

“We’re not fine,” he sounded so broken. Her heart thudded in her chest. This felt bad.

“Harry,” she tried again. He tried to push her away. It felt so awful. It was like... an ending. Her heart was breaking. “Harry, stop,” the tears sprung to her eyes. “Please,” she begged but her voice made this shaky cracking sound so loud and so sharply Harry thought she broke a bone—it was the only thing that could sound so sad like that. Harry nearly forgot why he wasn’t looking at her. He spun so fast to face her. He examined her for injury quickly scanning her from head to toe.

“Kitten?” He asked. She sniffled and Harry frowned, pulling her toward him and kissing the top of her head. “S’matter, love?” He whispered. As if he hadn’t just broken her heart.

“I should have defended you,” she croaked. She should have. Even if she didn’t remember the conversation now. Harry was sad. It made her sad. This was so bad. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Harry. I don’t... Sarah was just looking out for me... I don’t know—” she hiccupped.

“Kitten, s’okay,” he murmured comfortingly, rubbing his hand up and down her back soothingly.

“You’re gonna break up with me, aren’t you?” She asked.

His mouth dropped open releasing a surprised gasp. “Baby, of course not. No,” he squeezed her tightly. “I may be an idiot, but m’not stupid,” he kissed her forehead, his lips lingering on her forehead for a long period of time.

“Why wouldn’t you look at me? You said we weren’t fine,” she continued to snivel and ruin Harry’s shirt. His cologne was so comforting it was hard to remember why she was sad. Maybe that was his plan. She would forget that they were having an adult conversation. That it would lull her gently and he could break up with her.

“Kitten,” he sighed and brought his hands to her face. “I love you with m’entire being.”

“But...” she sniffled finishing his thought.

“Y’don’t think you’re settling? Sarah was right... I was so mean t’you... and I should have worshipped—”

She sniveled more. “I don’t care about that.”

“Please stop crying, love. You’re breaking m’heart.”

“I think you want to break up,” she repeated, her voice shaking with every word.

“Angel, m’never letting y’go,” he promised. “It took me a while...but m’never gonna lose you. Not ever,” he brushed his thumbs below her eyes swiping away the tears that had fallen. “Baby,” he murmured. “I jus’... I feel like m’going t’be groveling forever and I should...but s’hard. I want t’be the best for you.”

“But you don’t need to grovel. You are the best.”

“I don’t think y’believe that...s’why y’didn’t answer Sarah,” he smirked sadly. Like he knew her own thoughts better than herself.

“Harry,” she whined. “That’s not true.”

Harry kissed her forehead. “I’ve loved you for s’long… I was too stupid t’realize it.”

“You said you weren’t breaking up with me!” The silence was deafening. The sound of her tears and sniffles were the only thing that could be heard. “Baby,” her voice cracked again.

“I think you should break up with me.” The sobs that left her at that moment were so loud. So full of anguish, it broke Harry’s heart. “Kitten,” he whispered. “S’okay.”

“I hate Sarah.”

“No, y’don’t, angel. Not at all,” he murmured. “She’s your best friend. She loves you. She wants what’s best for you.”

“You are what’s best for me.” He didn’t say anything in response. Why didn’t she just defend him last weekend? Why did Harry overhear? “You’re just gonna give up?”

“No love, of course not. Jus’ told you m’never letting you go.”

“So why are you—”

“Kitten, y’need t’know you’re a queen,” he returned his hands to her face a rubbed away the tears again and pressed a kiss to the center of her forehead. It felt like the pressure of his lips was seeping right through her skull and easing all the tension in her brain. “You deserve so much more than me.”

“I don’t want it,” she sniveled. “Please stop telling me what I need,” she whimpered. Harry didn’t speak. She tried again. “Were you mad...all week?”

“Not at you, m’love. At myself. Y’did nothing wrong. Y’jus’...brought it t’my attention. I wanted you t’defend me...but I... I didn’t really do anything worthy of defending myself,” he shrugged. After a few moments he spoke again after contemplating the week. “I guess I was pretty mad with myself,” he admitted. He wanted her to defend him. But she couldn’t. Subconsciously or not. There was no reason to defend him and his shitty performance as a person growing up in her life. Forgetting her birthday, their anniversary, or just...anything. His grand gestures didn’t matter. She was an angel in every meaning of the word. His perfect angel. It was infuriating. But she just...didn’t have it in her to tell her best friend that Harry was worth it. It made him mad. It wasn’t fair, it didn’t make sense, but it made him mad, nonetheless.

She frowned, the tears slipping over his thumbs faster than he could push them out of the way. She felt helpless. It was her fault it was like this. It was her fault that Harry wanted her to break up with him. It made her sick to her stomach. “I don’t want to. Please don’t make me,” she sniffed again. Harry had never seen anything as sad as the tears in her eyes. “You make me whole, Harry,” she cried still, and Harry felt like he was really making this worse than he wanted it to be. He just wanted her to be sure. She deserved every bit of happiness life had to offer... and part of Harry thought that might not be him.

“Hmm?” He smirked sadly. That piqued his interest though. “How’s that, baby?”

She inhaled shakily and Harry saw the tears start to settle. She swallowed trying to regulate her breathing so she could speak quietly. “When you danced with me at work,”

“Oh?” He asked.

“That was the most…romantic thing I’ve ever experienced,” she looked at him through her wet lashes. Harry thought that even when she was sad, she was the most gorgeous thing he had ever laid eyes on. It pained him to think he was ever anything but sweet to her. That he didn’t cherish every moment with her like he wouldn’t get another.

Smiling, he wrapped his arm around her waist and cupped her hand in his again. “Yeah?” He asked, starting to sway just as he had the other day. It felt just like it did in that moment. Her heart seemed to stop and start at the exact same moment. She wished with everything in her that she had fought Harry and told him that he was an idiot back when they were younger. Not because she was mad—just that she wanted more romantic moments like this. All the pieces of her heart snapped together. Her cheek smushed against his chest listening to his heartbeat. “Like this?” He whispered.

She nodded silently. “You’re the most confusing man I’ve ever met.”

He chuckled. It was a warm, gentle feeling and made every nerve in her body feel like it was melting. “M’sorry, baby,” he kissed the top of her head.

“I don’t want anyone but you,” she whispered. “You bought me all those flowers, all the getaways, the way you get medicine for me when I don’t even know I need it. You always check to make sure I ate lunch. And when I fall asleep on the couch you always take the hair elastic off my wrist,” she reminded him. “I’m sorry. You are so worthy of being defended.”

Harry chuckled quietly, his breath getting lost in her hair and warming the top of her head. “Then s’enough for me,” he twirled her beneath his arm, wrapped her back into his embrace and dipped her to kiss her so sweetly she thought her heart would totally give out. She wasn’t sure she would ever get over the electric feeling of kissing him. She hoped she never did. “M’sorry I didn’t tell y’what I was feeling. I won’t bring it up again. If y’want me, I won’t question it.”

She pressed her face back into his shirt and clung to him like she would somehow fall out of his hold. “You never need to. I love you so much,” her voice was firm.

“Good,” he nodded. They danced quietly for a few moments in total silence. Her breathing evened out. He kissed her hair again. “In case I haven’t said it in a while and it wasn’t completely obvious...I love you so very much too, kitten.”

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If you like this, check out my masterlist for more of my writing.

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twst-rose-prisms · 7 months ago

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Twst boys and their respective Vocaloid songs

As the title said, I've been wanting to assign some Vocaloid songs for the twst characters as there are quite a lot of songs that specifically fit them! I'll include some lyrics part as of why I think it fits along with a small analysis + song link! I'm letting my Vocaloid braincells taking over this time hehe 🌹❤️

Shout out to my bestie @twst-megane for helping me out a bunch once again!!

Characters: All NRC students Warning: Some of these songs contain angsty/dark themes or imply self-harm, however it's nothing too much as that's the nature of Vocaloid songs in general and I recommend you checking them out if you guys can!

Part 1 | Part 2

🌹 Heartslabyul 🌹

Riddle: Bitter Choco Decoration

Pretty self-explanatory from the lyrics if you remember Riddle’s backstory with his strict, controlling mother. His entire life up until he became a student has been under his mom’s influence and it ended up him being too strict even to himself and his emotions - just like the meaning of the song too.

“Bitter choco decoration I long for the ideal that everyone wishes for Bitter choco decoration I reduce my individuality and my emotions to ashes Bitter choco decoration Kill your desires and ego, and bury them all underground Bitter choco decoration I've finally grown up, mama” “Surely, tomorrow, and the days after This hell will continue on and on. Alas, so please, just for now Let me keep the feelings I had when I was but a child And be the naked me.”

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Ace: Lost One’s Weeping

Being a rebellious person, I’m thinking this song fits Ace the most as it’s about questioning the flawed system, questioning one’s being and purpose and that if we have to keep living under some sort of authority for the rest of our life. As you can already see how he acts in Book 1 towards Riddle - defying authority, questioning it, and being rebellious about it.

“Can you say the formula for area ratio? Can you say the dreams of your childhood? Who threw those dreams in a ditch? Hey, who was it? You know who it was! When are you going to grow up!? What is a grown-up anyway? Do you know who has the answers? Hey, what should I do? I don't care anymore!”

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Deuce: RAD DOGS

I picked this song for Deuce because of the lyrics, but also the beat and the meaning. The strong, powerful beat with the fast rap part really fit him don’t you think? The lyrics speaks of the struggle of going against the grain and choosing a life of freedom, although it comes with an effort and the ability to face everything life throws at us. We need to take a leap of faith and not settle for anything less than what we truly want, emphasizes the importance of taking a risk and restarting, not worrying about the reason or justifications for doing so, just like how Deuce acts in general with his goal and dream.

"My unseen devotion, sympathy that I don’t feel, and all the things that I can't have What kind of story? Whose story is it? If you don't have something, you'll start to want it, isn’t that right?" "Now, I’ve decided to restart for the first time Just saying “I want to be like you” is all you need, right? Not knowing the reason why, not needing the reason why I'm defying against fate’s rules" "Now, I’ve decided to restart and burst out Just saying “I want to see it” is all you need, right? Let that groovy sound beat, let me hear that heartbeat Since there’s no time to just stand still" "With the tailwind blowing Alright, we keep going forward without looking back"

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Trey: Ai no Material

Trey gives me a melancholic, casual and mature vibe, like an older brother who you can depend on anytime and he would give you his usual smile. That’s why I picked this song for him, although he always helps out everyone but I feel like he can be lonely sometimes, like perhaps he would need a helping hand or maybe some support. When I read the lyrics I think of him! I want to interpret it as Heartslabyul to Trey, who’s been always working hard for the dorm, and it’s the message that he might want to hear the most!

"(Jump into tomorrow!) It seems that the stars will fall down. (Always) You wear a sparkling smile. (With a smile) But even if it's hard, you hide the pain away, (Want to meet you) and without showing it, you just laughed." "I always want to smile, after all. It's not hard, so I'm going to try harder! I wonder if I've been embracing such a lie tightly, And kept walking all this time." "Fly up more, higher and higher. If it's you, you can do it with a smile. But it's okay even if it's just a little bit, It's okay to quietly depend on me too." "Words like "I'm alright" or saying "I'm okay", While showing your usual smile. I understand those lies you utter, And that's why I tug on your hand."

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Cater: Phony

I know it might sound like it doesn’t fit him but in my opinion, this song sums up Cater as a character. We haven’t seen much of him in actual depth, but I definitely think he has more than he just appears. This song talks about how a person can mask and deceive themselves in lies, they’re aware of it, but they have to put it up in order to meet societal expectations. A constructed image or persona - the “fake” that they created and now they struggle to reconcile with their true self, and I think he is like that as well. (Aniplex please more Cater content for us we're waiting-)

“There’s no flower in this world more beautiful than an artificial one That’s because everything is manufactured from lies Antipathy world” “The rain of despair pelts my umbrella and Dampens my bangs and the hidden side of my heart Oh, it’s all so troublesome” “Before I knew it, the words had already withered The fruit of the truth is ripening within me Painting lies upon the mirror’s reflection, a “makeup” of the loss of oneself” “Before I knew it, the mimicked cries joined the unpleasant chorus Their eyes, leery, are dissolving you I am missing from the mirror’s reflection. There is only a “fake” that everyone mistook for someone else”

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🦁 Savanaclaw 🦁

Leona: Meltdown

The song is about one wanting to disappear, wanting to kill their old self and erase everything as if it’s like falling asleep. Though I think this song can be interpreted as having depression - and from what we see going on with Leona, I feel like he does show signs of it, I wish they would dive deeper into his story in Book 2 though! Other than that, I feel like the lyrics in here suit him a lot, especially the “sleep” part in the lyrics.

“I'm like a lighter out of fluid My insides are on fire Sometimes I wish It was all a lie” “I want to jump into the core My memories would melt into brilliant whiteness and disappear If I could jump into the core I feel like I’d be able to sleep again like I used to” “If I jumped into the core I'd vanish, like I had gone to sleep A morning without me Would be perfect All the gears meshing together That's how the world would be”

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Jack: Night Sky Patrol of Tomorrow

I think this song fits Jack a lot, the vibe is definitely for him but also the lyrics as well. The headstrong vibe, full of uncertainty but also full of hope for tomorrow, despite feeling hopeless at times but what is important is never give up and head forward to the future. The song’s meaning is to convey resilience, independence, and the importance of cherishing the present moment even when you’re uncertain about some things. You could also take this as a JackMC song haha, It just fits him a lot imo!

“I'm a boy who picks out his enemies to fight, Depending on whatever suits my mood. No hopes for the future, I wanted to be drawn in a dream." "And yet I fear the future, Hating tomorrow, wishing towards the past. There's no longer anything I can do, so I shout, "Tomorrow, tomorrow, please, don't come!" "If you want it, then make it come true yourself." Eh... You said that..." "I think about what I want, To go see you again tomorrow night. But I don't know, maybe you won't be there, But even so, we will always be one." "So, see you later, Sky Arrow, let's smile on! I want to be together with you in the future, However short our time may be, so I'll shout out, "Remember this day someday in the future, whoever we are then..."

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Ruggie: Moonlight

This song fits Ruggie a lot in terms of lyrics, with numerous mentions of rags and junk and collecting them together to the longing of being your own self instead of being in someone else’s shadow and chasing after them. The singer compares themselves to a piece of junk or trash as they think of themselves lowly, just like Ruggie himself. The mention of moonlight here represents the singer’s ideal that they always chase after, like Ruggie’s life goal. Overall, the vibe of the song fit him a lot! (I recommend checking out the Vivid Bad Squad version too!)

“A collection of junk, Covered with a piece of rag, A replica in a hideous shape Words spun by someone else, Tones played by someone else, A fake made by a distorted collage of them” “Even being junks, even a piece of rag In the blood pumped from its heart There was only my own anger In the end, there must be nothing left Love, spun songs, and my name will one day fade away I wonder why? It's stuck in the back of my chest, A loneliness similar to the silence of a winter night” “Whether or not I'm a fake, Looking back now, there was only Those blurred memories” “The irony of being a waste, I'm trying to get out of the cliché, but "Another rehash of someone else’s work?" "Is even your identity a trick?" "Do you want love, even if you have to steal it?" “Even being junks, even a piece of rag After following the never ending dream I'll find my own light, all the way”

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🐚 Octavinelle 🐚

Azul: Delusion Tax

In my opinion, this is the most fitting song I could think of for Azul. As said in the lyrics, we all have desires of our own, and the person (or in this case Miku) in this song is a genie that can grant any wishes, but in the end everything come with a price, anyone who make a wish with her will have to sell a part of themselves. Sounds just like Azul and his contracts don’t you think? But you can also think this reflects Azul’s own desires once you know his backstory too! (and also, check out this amazing art by my bestie! Her art is amazing!!)

“Turning wishes into reality Right now, buy back your future! Afflicted by so badly wanting to do “that”, consumed by desire Come now, let’s go beyond all this pain” “Existing for your sake alone, mandatory affections and obligated kindness Though you should be satisfied, a voice from within shouts “NO!” We have an idiot on our hands, it seems…” “None of it will come true if you don't pay the price Look, just up and borrow the "desired amount" Reality is a bitter-sweet pill to swallow Come now, let’s go beyond all this pain” “That which you wish for, the person you think of, The past which you hate as well, they’ll all be as you like. The kind of face and chest you desire, they’ll be granted if you pay. “It’s a promise”

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Jade: SHANTI

I feel like the song is pretty self-explanatory, as you can see with the lyrics. It just fits Jade’s job and his approach to the “targets” and lure them into signing a contract with Azul, but it’s probably just more than the said goal… But you can never tell with that smile of his as his “kind” words accompany his looks. Until you realized you fell into the trap and become one of Azul’s underlings due to the contract (at least, until post-Book 3, but who knows)

“Hey, young man who’s hanging his head Did something bad happen? If you’re fine with me, do you wanna talk about it? I can help you What in the world happened? That sounds terrible, brother I'll give you this, so cheer up, ok You can pay me back next time” “So you came again tonight Was it to your liking? The fee is this much Huh? Huh? Huh? So you can’t pay Then it can’t be helped I’ve got the perfect job for you, so come and follow me”

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Floyd: Matryoshka

A chaotic, addictive rock song that is very fitting for Floyd. Why though? According to the wiki “Most of the lyrics are nonsensically vague or ridiculous, with a slight hint of pain or sadness, giving the overall song a crazy and psychotic feeling. Therefore, the lyrics have been interpreted in various ways.” Just like the moody guy himself, don’t you think?

“My headache is singing about a package The clock's hand is stuck at 4 o'clock No one would tell me why But the world has begun to rotate in reverse” “Ah, would you please dance even more? Kalinka? Malinka? Just play the strings" "What should I do with these kinds of emotions? Won't you please tell me? The signal reception is good, 5-2-4! Freud? Keloid? Just hit the keys Let's just laugh everything off Hurry up and dance, you group of fools!" "Together let's clap our childish hands To this intentionally deranged rhythm Surely, I couldn't care less about everything The world's temperature is beginning to melt”

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#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twst wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #vocaloid #riddle rosehearts #ace trapola #deuce spade #trey clover #cater diamond #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #azul ashengrotto #floyd leech #jade leech #vocaloid music

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humanintownau · 19 days ago

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☆Human in Town!☆

Welcome to the blog! This is all the information you need about this blog! (Updates will be notified!)

Last updated: 11/27

My main blog: bbqgrape

•

What is this blog about?

By the title, this blog is about my new BATiM AU "Human in town!"

Now, about the environment:

• This story takes place in Toon Town, or as most refer to it "Toonsie town". A small fact, toons can immediately tell what type of personality a toon has just by which name they use for the town.

• Toon Town is the equivalent of New York, which was infested with all sorts of different toons, considering it was a big town. The smaller towns are Inkfell (Full of mafiosos with ink businesses), Hale Halos (Populated by mostly angels, I'll get into it on why later on).

• As by the first cover I did for the AU, this au takes place in 1961.

• Toon Town and other towns or living areas are separate from the human world. Each toon has the ability to leave the human world, but none can leave the toon world. This is important.

The characters:

I removed the refs for each of the characters' scars, because Tumblr only lets 10 per post 😔

• Daniel Darling:

(Couldn't fit each personality trait, so everything is a bit specific sorry `^u^)

Oooh boy, Daaaaniel, I have a lot to say about him...

And you probably already guessed, Daniel is a human in disguise. Well, he's technically a toon now, but with all the differences he has compared to toons, he might get his own category soon.

Daniel was a victim of "Angel farming" (will get into that later), and was a subject to torture and experimenting. And with no choice, he had to use one in a lifetime chance to escape. And that cost, well...a lot. First off, he's homeless, hungry, and even craving those peas he was force-fed back in the facility.

As I mentioned before, he was a victim of "Angel farming". This is an old project that has been active since the 1930's. This project is about turning humans into toons, more preferably angels, or any feathery toon. They are used for their wings (or halo). After those parts are removed, they make them regrow back by ink. This is a cycle that brings a lot of money to not only criminals, but also studios. Yes, studios. Money is money.

"Toon farming" is more popular, due to having less resources to make and sell them. (One of the reasons barely any toons are in the Human world).

Next on the list is...

• Benedetto 'Bendy' Stein

For now, I'll keep this short, since I don't want to spoil much. And I'll have elaborate on why Bendy's personality traits are too short (Yeah, it's because Bendy's gotta be the center of attention).

Soo... Let's start off straight and clear, Bendy's a mafia boss. And a good one at that, despite being kind of a dumbass. However, he's kept quite a reputation for the past few years, especially in 1959 (I ain't telling you why 🤫🧏).

His partners in crime are Boris (his best friend, and also a part of the mafia), Samuel 'Sammy' Lawrence (One of his soldiers), The Butcher gang (which joined Bendy's gang as an agreement), Katie, and Daniel.

And for his personality, well...

He's... confident to say the least, it's what scares the rivals, and other things... 😨

Anyway, he's, despite his attitude or "occupation", he's quite loving and caring to the people he loves or cares about. One of his redeeming qualities. And if we compare him to the other mafiosos, he'd be a saint. But it doesn't mean he doesn't get his hands dirty when he needs to.

• Boris Stein

Another mafia boss to the list (Benedetto and Boris run the same one. They were forced to share /j)

Okay, Boris seems like a prick on the outside, but is quite caring and soft to the people he thinks deserves it (except Katie, they don't get along well...). His tough exterior and physique helps him in fights, and also to intimidate rivals.

Benedetto's short temper and anger problems always have to be relieved, and Boris is there to do it as the calm older brother.

• Samuel 'Sammy' Lawrence

Oh this grumpy old man...

Anyways... Sammy's a human as well. And has been here FAAAR longer than Daniel is. He died in 1935, when he was 26 years old, and is now pushing his retirement age. He hides his true age so Benedetto wouldn't place him in the retirement home. He's still 54, but his "body" and mind is one of a 30+ year old. He isn't that wise to be a grandpa, but isn't ignorant enough to be your typical older brother.

He's a trustworthy man for Benedetto, with his intelligence surrounding ambushing, and unlocking different closed off places, rooms, vaults, etc.

• Cinnamon --------

Toon Town's biggest sunshine. She's basically the kindest person you could ever talk to. She's amazing at advice and enjoys spending time with her friends and -----.

She, despite her sweet and optimistic personality, is quite reserved, afraid of saying too much. She always tries to display herself the best way possible. She's afraid to show her true self.

• Katie M'lady

Born to be a tiger, forced to be a lap cat.../j

Katie is a fierce soldier who will always protect her fellow comrades. If you're being jumped, she'll probably help you (unless if you stole her favourite booze from the bar cabinet). Benedetto always takes her everywhere during chaotic missions, because of her experience with fighting, and also her capability of working under pressure. She's quite reserved, so no one knows much of her. Only that she'll beat your ass if you look at her the wrong way.

• ----------

Wait, who was she supposed to be again?

•

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Differences between humanoid toons (Non-native toons) and real (native) toons:

Let's take Daniel (outdated design, will be remade in the future, but so far everything is canon) for example...

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Tags:

#BBQGrape's art: all my art is in this tag, including my main blog.

#Human in Town au lore / or just lore: lore about the au, environment, characters, backstories and so on

#Human in Town au: Anything related to the au / blog

#Daniel Darling: Mentions or drawings of Daniel (my oc)!

#Oc:Daniel Darling: Same as the previous one

#Benedetto Bendy Stein: for that cheeky bastard Bendy

#Boris Stein: for the big ol' woof

#Katie M'lady: ladies first.

#Cinnamon --- the ferret: Mmm, Cinnamon buns...

#Samuel Sammy Lawrence the old bastard: the old bastard.

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Qna:

• Is it okay for my ocs to interact with the characters?

A: of course! I am more than happy to answer them! ^^

• Can I make ocs for this au?

A: Of course! Feel free to draw them and most importantly, tag me; I'd love to see them!!!

• What kind of asks will you ignore?

A: I won't ignore any, except for ones that are basically not related to the blog in any way.

Or being inappropriate. That's an option too.

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Thank you for reading!

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littlemisstfc · 2 months ago

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Transformers One: Is It Good Or Nah?

Hello, hola、こんにちは。So…it’s been 84 years since I’ve last written on this side of the Hundred Acre Woods. For that, I do deeply apologize for my absence aksksksjsjsj. Anyways…so the Transformers franchise, in terms of the movies, has a very shaky history.

We all know the Transformers movies; it’s pretty known by now that the movies are just a rollercoaster of quality. For every Bumblebee, there will always be a Revenge of The Fallen. When it comes to me specifically, I have a very complicated relationship with this aspect of the franchise for a better part of my life. The original G1 movie is okay. The first movie is alright, ROTF is Satan’s spawn, DOTM is good, AOE is a chaotic mess that I both hate and love, and the less said about TLK, the better. Then, a miracle happened in the form of Bumblebee (2018) and it sets the path of redemption for these movies. It continues with Rise of The Beasts and while it’s an 8/10 movie for me, it’s still a great movie that continues the momentum. Now, it brings us to today.

I wanna bring this up before talking about Transformers One because you will not believe me when I say that this movie is EVEN BETTER THAN LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE FILM SERIES. YES, IT OUTDID EVEN THE GREATEST TRANSFORMERS MOVIES BY A FREAKING LANDSLIDE. JUST…how did we even get a movie like this? The fact that it exists is truly the most mind boggling, yet pleasant surprise so far in the series to date. Words cannot describe the experience I have gone through at this moment. Just…what did we do to get something this incredible and this damn good. Amazing is an understatement; Transformers One is easily the best Transformers movie to date.

The way it gives us genuinely some of the best moments in Transformers history is an indicator of the majesty they wanted to make. Sure, no movie is truly perfect. However, for this one, the amount of things to discuss and think about is something that rivals even the most complex media such as Earthspark and Animated. So what am I doing here standing around for? Let's talk about a movie about two bros chilling in an Energon mine, five feet apart cause they’re not gay! :D

For this review…I’m going to give this movie’s pacing the respect it deserves (due to how crucial it is to the story) by highlighting the most important details I want to talk about in order. After we get the nitpicks and other good stuff out of the way, I’m so excited to unleash all the inner brainworks in my head at the moment. So let’s goooooo.

3, 2, 1, Pingu.

(Also, I will be going into spoilers, so Sparknotes version: it’s a rare 10/10. ✨)

The Good, The Bad, and The Badassitron

Let’s go get the nitpicks out of the way. I say nitpicks because they thankfully don’t drag down the movie for me. First things first: I wish that the main trio of Decepticons (Doritoscream, Soundwave, and Shockwave’s boobs) play a much bigger role here. I felt like how we got from Starscream in charge to now all of sudden loyal to Megatron after having the crap beaten out of him is where the movie could benefit from a few minutes more to the runtime. To me, their loyalty to Megatron by the end is something that needs to be earned. However, like I said, it didn’t bring the movie down for me because they’re not the focus here, The focus is on Megatron’s relationship with Optimus. We’ll get there when we get there. Bee’s fine for what he is, but I feel like he can be cut out of the movie and replaced with someone else. The story would be as it is, like he really doesn’t have much of a reason to be here. However, like I said, he’s fine for what he is. The only other nitpick I have is that it’s weird that the Quintessons have little to no direct involvement in the main conflict, since it’s their rule that led to this mess in the first place. However, since we’re getting two more movies, I’m curious to see how this is gonna play out in the future. Anyways, that’s all I have to say about the issues I have with the movie, so let’s get to the good stuff…EVERYTHING ELSE.

Oh my god, the music score? Easily among my favorite scores in Transformers media to date. The way it not only incorporates music from shows such as Transformers Prime so beautifully, but it gives the world so much life and majesty that is straight out of a Biblical epic. The ending song at the credits reminds me so much of On My Soul, just what an utter bop. Of course, I also need to mention the biggest highlight of this movie…the animation. Oh my god, this movie is utterly gorgeous. Not only are the settings so vibrant and brimming with life and personality, but I absolutely adore the facial expressions on the characters. I’m glad that it’s emotive enough to not fall into the Uncanny Valley, and the characters felt so real. I especially love Orion’s facial expressions, because of how well they convey his growing heartbreak and loss of innocence over the course of the story that we’ll discuss later here. Overall, the music and animation are good enough reasons why you need to see this movie on the big screen. Just…MMMMMMM. Delicious food.

The characters are also really likable and enduring. I wasn’t sure if I was gonna like Badassitron going in, but honestly, he’s a Bumblebee done well. He has plenty of funny moments and jokes, and I like how they don’t have him make quips during the more serious moments here and there. He is the comic relief done right. I’m pleasantly surprised by how they handle Elita’s character. At first, based on the promos, she seems to be the Ultra Serious Girlboss who girlbosses her way into the Elita One we all know and love. However, as it turns out, it’s revealed that she’s a neurotic, yet well meaning dork and I love that for her akskssk. I especially love how her relationship with Orion develops over time as they went to find the One Piece. She went from being irritated with his tendency to cause mischief at work and ignoring protocols to warming up to him because of his resilience and optimism (no pun intended) of their people being freed. Honestly, it’s so refreshing to see a flawed, yet likable Elita here and she’s perhaps one of my favorite iterations so far. Moving on, and oh man…where do we even begin with our good buddy Sentinel Prime. Not only is he one of the evil ass motherfuckers in the franchise so far, but he is a fantastic main villain. Just seeing this despicable bastard manipulate his way into power makes you love to hate him, he’s also pretty funny, and the way he poses a threat to our heroes provides enough interesting groundwork for the conflict between two of our main amigos. Also, shoutout to Jon Hamm. He did an excellent job at portraying Sentinel as this smug, arrogant little bitch. Just, amazing. And speaking of portrayals, the entire voice cast did an amazing job here. You can tell how much they clearly respect the characters they’re portraying while also breathing new life into them. This is what animation studios need to do; hire actors that suit the characters well DAMMIT. Other positives I have is the amount of neat cameos of our favorite blorbos in the background, the comedic timing is excellent thanks to the voice actors’ deliveries and banter with each other, and in spite of the darker tone the more it progresses, it also has a very cozy, fun feel to it due to one of the movie’s main central themes. And speaking of themes…this is where we will end the section here.

Now…I am saving the best for last. What I mean by that is that there are two characters that manage to be my favorite aspect of the movie overall. So…let’s go talk about them.

A Tale of Two Friends:

I’m struggling to use the right words to describe how I feel about Orion and Megatron. To me…they’re the true standouts in the movie for me. Their relationship is portrayed with so much care and gravity that they both felt like real people. Not only are they both likable and charming, but seeing their relationship break apart over the course of the movie is hauntingly beautiful and tragic. Trust me, it’s not the shipper speaking here. It’s so refreshing to see them together in the big screen for the first time since The Last Knight, but it’s also so interesting seeing them in a different light than what other Transformers media did. I’m starting in the order of the movie because the movie’s pacing is perfect. Every scene connects to each other perfectly and it makes room for the wild ride we’re in for.

First, let’s start with Orion.

We start the movie off with Orion breaking into the Iaconian Hall of Records and search for anything on the status of the One Piece. Then, he gets caught by some guards and a chase ensues. Right away, we get a good idea of his mischievous, yet curious personality and his determination to discover more about the surface world. He won’t take no for an answer and while it does lead to him getting in trouble often, it’s genuinely admirable to see him have the initiative to make the best of his situation in life. Then, right before he gets caught, Megatron comes in with a cart that serves as a distraction for Orion to slip away and they both head to work.

Right off the bat, we see that Megatron is the more relaxed, more cautious out of the two. He tries his best to stay out of trouble and to keep his good ol unhinged buddy alive due to his wacky shenanigans. At the same time, he also has the same kind of energy he shares with Orion in that they both keep their heads up in spite of their circumstances. Adding to the layers is Orion bringing him the Fallen sticker, which is how we get a good idea of how much they care for each other. True, they have their own frustrations with each other. Megatron is frustrated by Orion’s tendency to get in trouble, along with not recognizing his discomfort with some of the things he drags him into such as the Iacon 5000, and Orion is frustrated by Megatron keeping his head down to avoid trouble. However, they always have each other’s back and they are each other’s equals.

We also see that they’re both kindhearted people who will stand up for the little guy through risking their lives to save Jazz from the collapsing Energon mine, even though it resulted in Elita being demoted. From the start, their desire to make their world a better place is set in stone there. This is furthered strengthened by Orion standing up for Elita by flipping off Darkwing and both him and Megatron needing some milk afterwards. Also, quick side note: Orion’s sass and dynamics with the other characters is so damn refreshing. I love how he literally has no chill in speaking what’s on his mind, and I especially adore how he interacts with Elita. Pure malewife material aksksksz.

Back on track, he then drags Megatron into the Iacon 5000 so that they can prove themselves to be just as worthy as the upper class racers in the game. As they fly through the race track with mere jet packs, their fellow miners cheer for them and they were pretty close to finishing in first place had it not been for the combo of an injury Megatron got and the first place winner coming in. I’m not gonna reveal who won the race, but let me say that who won it is a pleasant surprise. Anyways, this earned the attention of Sentinel Prime and he went down to their recovery ward to personally congratulate them on their boldness in participating. He even offers them a nice ol place in his crib, which they might've accepted if Darkwing didn’t throw them down into Undertale due to his jealousy and anger. Throughout this scene, we see Orion and Megatron being validated by the Prime they’ve admired for so long for breaking out of the status quo and it lays the foundation for later on. Eventually, they met Bee, found the map to the One Piece, and ventured into the surface world while accidentally dragging Elita along for the ride. Pretty landscapes and peril later, they end up in the cave where the bodies of de Primes are at. They wake up Alpha Trion and he reveals the bitter truth:

Uh oh, it turns out Sentinel Prime is a LIAR and that he betrayed the Primes in order to be in charge of the Cybertronian population. Here…we see the innocent viewpoints of Orion and Megatron shattered permanently from here on out. While Orion reacts with anger as he should, Megatron is utterly furious with this horrific revelation. The Prime he has admired for so long, the Prime who just gave him an opportunity to move upwards just minutes ago…turns out to be a cowardly, spineless fraud that took away their autonomy to having basically a crucial organ in their bodies and to make choices for themselves. It isn’t helped by Sentinel giving up the Energon (that they risked their lives in mining for) to the very evil overlords that are responsible for their people being this way for so many generations.

What happens back in the cave is one of three excellent scenes that is borderline uncomfortable due to how realistic it is. We see Megatron essentially having a mental breakdown from finding out his life is a lie and Sentinel is a big stinker. When Orion tries to calm him down, he finally vents to him about his frustrations with Orion’s tendency to cause trouble over the years and calls him out for not thinking before acting on his impulses. It also helps that we see his patience starting to be worn thin earlier in the recovery ward and when Darkwing threw them both in the Undertale. Then, he finishes his breakdown with one simple, yet effective confession: he doesn’t want to just take Sentinel down…he wants to kill him. To say that hearing Megatron say this left me and the theater in shock is a massive understatement. It genuinely caught me off guard, but in a good way. We finally saw Megatron at his breaking point: his entire life, including being worked to death, has been for nothing. It’s a great scene because it’s an argument where you understand both perspectives here. You understand Orion’s bewilderment at Megatron’s unhinged behavior and wanting him to take a deep breath so he can clear his head while you also understand Megatron finally having enough of being a doormat for too long and Orion putting his own wants before others. Neither side is right and wrong, and I appreciate how Orion’s and Megatron’s emotions are valid here. From this point on, all hell breaks loose.

After they gain their T-cogs and the recording to cancel Sentinel on Twitter by Alpha Trion, the main amigos enjoy the euphoria of transforming for the first time. However…we see Megatron enjoying the euphoria of having the T-cog too much. After fighting off one of Sentinel’s soldiers, he forcibly takes the callout post and vows to make Sentinel pay for his crimes. When Orion tries to protest, Megatron coldly tells him to step aside or else there’ll be a problem between them. Orion’s expression here is why I love his facial expressions the most as mentioned earlier. You can see all the thoughts he’s having right now, especially the shock of seeing his best friend giving into his darker thoughts expressed back at the cave. Now, the coin is flipped. Orion is the sensible, level headed one of the two while Megatron is the impulsive, stubborn one that he always scolds Orion for being so in earlier scenes.

As they make their way back home, they ended up captured by some Decepticons and are being interrogated by Starscream and his band of mean girls. When Megatron walks away from the interrogation nonchalantly, Starscream tries to assert himself as the leader. However, it ended up breaking into a fight that quickly went HOLY FUCKING SHIT, HE NEEDS SOME MILK when Megatron overpowers him. We see a horrified Orion in the crowd and they can only look at each other. Their friendship will never be the same after that…especially now that Megatron finally got a taste of power that’s been denied to him all his life. I know that this is probably gonna be a point of contention for some people with how Megatron’s turn to the Dark Side is portrayed here, so let me provide this perspective:

How long did Megatron have these thoughts?

Given presumably how many times he had to bust Orion out of trouble, and having to keep quiet just to stay alive, you have to wonder how long he kept quiet about his frustrations and hidden rage at the circumstances of his life. From that angle, giving into his intrusive thoughts is inevitable. He just needed the push to act on them. Essentially…the poor guy needed therapy, and sadly, there are no therapists on Cybertron. 😔

Eventually, Megs and Badassitron got captured along with Starscream and several other Decepticons by Airachnid. It’s now up to Orion and Elita to team up with the remaining Decepticons left and YOU GOTTA HELP US. Here, we see Orion finally realize how badly he screwed up for not understanding how his actions affected the people he cares about over the years. It got through his head that he didn’t appreciate Megatron’s patience and willingness to protect him from the consequences. While he means well, he doesn’t realize how selfish he’s also being with the things he does in his overactive ways. Upon realizing this, he takes responsibility for the amigos being in this mess…a mess that happened because of him. That was his mistake. He is now left with no choice but to go forward and make things right by his friend and the people they love. Then…we get another one incredible scene and that is Elita’s pep talk to him.

While it starts off a bit comedic due to how this is clearly Elita’s first time with cheering someone up and Orion pointing it out, it then leads to her expressing how she always admire his optimism towards a better future for their kind and his refusal to back down in the face of struggle. It’s the embodiment of the movie’s most important message: having hope even when the odds are against you. That fact that we have such a strong theme in a turbulent era we’re in at the moment is why this scene works so well. Change starts with one person, and then becomes bigger and stronger when they continue to fight against injustice and inspire others to do the same. Thus, Elita’s pep talk gave Orion the drive to get back up and keep moving forward by teaming up with the Decepticons, go back to Iacon, and free their buddies. The theme is furthered strengthened by Orion rallying the other miners into helping him, as he now has the power to make things better for his people.

Quick side note, but Elita is an interesting foil to Megatron’s in terms of how they react to Orion’s unhinged sassy king energy. While she’s also annoyed by his tendency to get in trouble a lot, she has also admire his ability to remain optimistic even with their shitty conditions. Once he takes responsibility for his decisions, she softens up towards him and she remains his dearest friend by the end. In contrast, by the time he has apologized for his mistakes, it’s too late for Megatron. It’s clear that these two are what shaped Orion into Optimus, for better and for worst.

Meanwhile, Megatron gets tortured by Sentinel after repeatedly defying him. Then, he gets the Decepticon symbol carved painfully into his chest by the blue son of a bitch. That essentially became the straw that broke the camel’s back and it ultimately drove Megatron into a point of no return. After the other main amigos rescued the other amigos and a ROBOT FIGHT occurs, Megatron now has the opportunity to finally show Sentinel that his day of reckoning has come. Now, he must die. However, after putting the callout post on Twitter, Orion realizes what his bestie is about to do and tries to stop him. However, Megatron quickly overpowers him and prepares the final blow to Sentinel. Then…what happened next left me and the entire theater in stunned silence for a good few minutes up until one point. At first, I thought to myself:

“Ain’t no way he’s gonna do this. There’s no way they’re bold enough to have Megatron do this.”

But then…it happened. The shot from the fusion cannon meant for Sentinel ended up hitting Orion instead, sending him flying near the entrance to the planet’s core and hanging on for dear life. The moment he cries out to Megatron for help…I bursted into tears right there. His innocent perspective has been destroyed permanently, and he’s now a broken shell of his formerly spunky self. To add more salt to the wound, Megatron reaches for him…only for him to declare that he’s done saving him from trouble after one too many times. Then, he sent him falling into the core. Megatron has crossed the line, and with eyes now red with hate and pain, he finally killed Sentinel in front of a now devoted group of followers who will obey his every word. He has now become the person he has sworn to destroy…

As that’s going on, Orion’s broken, lifeless body is gently brought down inside of the core and it’s revealed that he is the one who is destined to receive the One Piece…aka, the Matrix of Leadership. Thus, he is now reborn as the Optimus Prime we all know and love. The use of a theme from the G1 movie is the cherry on top of an utterly haunting, yet powerful scene that needs to be seen on the big screen.

After he has risen and put an end to Megatron’s madness, he decides that the best option for them both is banishing Megatron and his followers from Iacon. The fact that he chose this option instead of simply killing his former best friend really speaks a lot about not only his character, but also how much their relationship has essentially been ruined by how different they are in terms of wanting change. Alas, Megatron goes off into the sunset with his followers and Optimus is left there…mourning the death of their once great bond. When it showed a memory of how they met afterwards, it made me sobbed uncontrollably. At this point, you’re left with one question:

Will they ever go back to where they were at before?

Thus, we end on a bittersweet ending…an ending of two former friends who were torn apart by the sins of the fathers and the aftermath of said sins. All there’s left to do is wait and hope that everything will be okay soon.

Overall…Orion and Megatron are what makes the movie for me. Their chemistry, their character development, and the phenomenal performances of Chris Hemsworth and Brian Tyree Henry are what makes them the most layered, most complex iterations of the characters respectively.

Conclusion: IT’S SO GOOD, YOU GUYS.

Words cannot describe how Transformers One is a phenomenal love letter to the franchise I hold very dear to my heart since I was a kid. Overall, this is a fantastic movie that you will love.

It has phenomenal characters, gorgeous animation, an amazing score, and a powerful story of how you have the power to change the world and make it better. For the very first time since Cyberverse, I award the very rare 10/10 to this film.

Please check it out. I applaud everyone involved in this project for making it a beautiful work of art for the fans. It is indeed more than meets the eye.

#transformers #transformers: one #transformers one #transformers: one spoilers #tf: one #tf:one spoilers #tf: one spoilers #spoilers #val talks

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sapphire-weapon · 1 year ago

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Leon Kennedy’s wiki page is filled with lies and bullshit

And whoever is running the wiki is so afraid of being told that they’re wrong that editing on it is currently disabled -- so I figured I’d just compile a list of errors on my own.

This isn’t fully comprehensive, because my eyes started to glaze over at a certain point, but. It is color coordinated and fully explained.

If you need to reference Leon’s wiki for any reason, please make sure that you have this post up also as well, so that you’re not pulling bad information. Most of the wiki is fine, but there are some things in here, man. People really do just be going on the internet and telling lies.

Notice how there's no citation for this. The source that's actually being pulled from is an offhanded comment the RE2 concept artist made in an art book that Capcom released called Capcom Design Works. It was only ever released in Japan.

Concept artists don't have access to the script and aren't involved with the actual creation of the character. Concept artists are given a general description of what a character should look like and what their general demeanor is. The devs told this artist specifically to make Leon look tanned, so the artist wondered if maybe Leon's heritage was from somewhere in southern Europe — maybe Italy?

It is important to know that Leon's character was conceived and had art drawn of him back when Resident Evil 2 had a completely different story. A different version of RE2 reached 80% completion before being scrapped and completely redone from the ground up. The story changed dramatically. Claire Redfield wasn't even in this original version of RE2; it was a different character entirely named Elza Walker. (source one, source two)

Ergo, even if the intention was to give Leon an Italian background originally, that story no longer exists and has nothing to do with the version of Resident Evil 2 that actually released.

This isn't a big deal, but "offered" is a really funny way of saying "threatened into."

Leon also was never in USSTRATCOM. That's a bullshit lie based on an old build of RE4 that never got released and was, in fact, turned into the game Haunting Ground instead. The wiki says that the proof of this is in a file in Darkside Chronicles. No such file exists -- and, even if it did, Yoshiaki Hirabayashi (who's been a producer and writer for RE since the original REmake) said recently that Darkside Chronicles is no longer canon anyway.

None of this is ever stated in the games. This is pulled from a promotional marketing interview from 1997 — so, before RE2 was even finished or released. There's a decent chance that this interview was done right after 1.5 got thrown out and 2's final story wasn't even fully realized yet.

Capcom has actually given Leon several different backgrounds throughout the years, and none of them have ever made it into the games.

The official Resident Evil 2 novelization has Leon fresh out of college and moving to Raccoon City from New York.

Welcome to Raccoon City wrote that Leon's dad was a cop, and that's how he got into the force, too.

But there's no indication of any of them being true for Leon as he exists in the games. There's no reason to think of the crime background as any more or less canon than the other two, except maybe that someone just likes it better?

In fact, part of that crime backstory is outwardly and explicitly contradicted in Resident Evil 2 itself:

So take that for what you will.

The wiki cites "Official GuideBook" as the source for this. No book with that title exists.

What they're actually referring to is The Resident Evil Archives, which is a book that is filled to bursting with factually incorrect information about the games. Here's the full excerpt of the passage containing that backstory:

Is this really what we're taking as canon fact now? Claire and Sherry being Leon's "single focus" in RE2, with absolutely no mention of Ada at all? Leon being mad about Claire "making her own decisions"?

Here's something else fun from the RE Archives:

I don't see anything on this wiki page about how Leon willingly gave Sherry up to the US Army, nor anything about him reaching out to the federal government himself in order to willingly join their ranks. It's very interesting how only the "drunk at a motel" part made it in.

Citation needed???? The citation is the Resident Evil 2 Remake. This is something that's actually stated in a game — and the wiki is treating it as fanfiction, listing it as secondary to whatever bullshit the RE Archives book is spouting.

This is also the single only glimpse we have ever gotten into anything Leon was doing prior to the intro of RE2. The games do not go any further back in time to explain anything further about where he's from or what his life was like.

This is straight-up not true. It's just an out-and-out lie.

So, Leon and Benford only started working together ten years prior to Benford's death in June of 2013 — making the genesis of that partnership land in 2003. 2002 at the earliest. Neither of those years are 1998, which is the year that Leon was coerced into government custody.

It also makes no sense as to why Leon would like, trust, and respect Benford so much if he was the man responsible for threatening Sherry and ruining his life. It also makes no sense for Benford to be a child-threatening piece of garbage and then also be described as having integrity and being a man of his word.

The only thing that RE6 actually says about who Benford was prior to becoming President was that he was "in the military." 2002 makes sense for Leon and Benford to have met, then, since 2002 was the year of Operation Javier. Leon's status in the government isn't exactly clear during the events of Operation Javier — Leon isn't sent in as a federal LEO; he's sent in with military special forces.

The likeliest explanation is that Adam Benford was the lead commanding officer overseeing Operation Javier — who, upon suspecting he might be dealing with B.O.W.'s, went "Hey, get me the Raccoon City guy. I want him going on this one."

And the rest, as they say, is history.

This is all purely conjecture on my part and cannot be proven or disproven either way — but it, at the very least, makes more sense than just assuming that this one particular file in RE6 got the year of the Raccoon City incident wrong. It also makes more sense than assuming that Leon has some sort of weird Stockholm Syndrome concerning Adam Benford, when he (Leon) is so angry and cynical and jaded in literally every single title after RE4 about his career and about being shackled to the government.

Adam Benford being the guy behind Leon's kidnapping is so beyond the pale and absurd, and the only real basis for it is an advertisement for an airsoft gun, and I'm not joking. I don't know how anyone tries to argue that that ad is more canon than what's both stated and shown in the actual series, but here we are.

This is something that is only true in Resident Evil 4 Remake. Originally, Operation Javier was the first time that Leon and Krauser ever met, per Darkside Chronicles. It is very weird that this detail exists in the wiki, but then the wiki goes on to only describe the DSC version of Operation Javier, with no mention given to the complete overhaul that that story got in RE4make. You wouldn't be able to even asspull a "Krauser only started training Leon after Operation Javier" explanation, either, because in OG RE4, Leon is under the impression that Krauser actually died almost immediately after returning home.

There's no citation for this, but the source is the box art for the Wii version of RE4. However, no other version of RE4 ever makes mention of what school Ashley was going to. The only hint we have ever gotten in a game as to where Ashley was going to school is actually in RE4make, because the sorority stickers on her phone correspond with a sorority out of New York.

There's no citation for this, because the source is RE: Umbrella Corps, which has no provable basis in canon.

This isn't true. Here's the citation that the wiki uses:

There's no year given there, and there's no indication that this happened at some sort of TerraSave reunion. In fact, them meeting in 2010 makes no sense, because this file establishes that there were no open lines of communication between the US government and the BSAA prior to this moment — so how the fuck would Chris have gotten his hands on Leon's report outlining the events of RE4 back in 2009?

Considering the fact that Lost in Nightmares took place in 2006, and that explicitly involved remnants of Umbrella via Oswell Spencer, chances are that that's probably closer to the time that this meeting between Leon and Chris actually happened.

Or, if you wanted to be cheeky about it, you could say that this happened in 2008 so that Hunnigan's "hadn't seen each other in ten years" thing is actually at least a little bit true — since Leon and Chris actually first spoke back in either late 1998 or early 1999, per Code Veronica and Darkside Chronicles.

But there's really no canonical indication of it either way. You can't even use Benford as a benchmark, because Hunnigan could've been reporting to him as POTUS or as a military officer. There's really no way to know.

So, that’s that. I hope we all learned something today. For future reference, don’t look outside of the actual games or movies for information about the series, because it is constantly being contradicted by either other supplementary material or actual game canon. This is the formula you should be following:

numbered game entries are the most canon. numbered game entries will always have the final say. period.

spinoff games starring the recurring cast* (Revelations, Code Veronica, etc) are the second highest tier canon.

CGI movies starring the main cast are the third highest tier canon.

spinoff games not starring the main cast (Outbreak, Dead Aim, etc) are the fourth highest tier canon.

anything else should be ignored.

*spinoff games that have a story, that is. things like The Mercenaries 3D and RE:Verse clearly don’t count and are there for fun gameplay purposes only.

In an instance where things on the same tier contradict each other, the most recent installment wins out.

So, Sherry’s age in RE2 is 10 because RE6 said so – even though OG RE2’s manual had her age listed as 12. Her age of 10 years was then also reaffirmed in RE2make. So, she was 10.

And Gaiden’s not canon, despite it starring Leon and Barry, because RE4, RE6, and Revelations 2 do not acknowledge it as such.

It is very easy to follow this canon if you follow that recipe.

I also have an essential canon list already typed up and ready to go. These are the only titles you should ever have to even think about committing to your brainspace.

Please don’t let bad faith actors lead you astray, and stop leaning so hard on the wiki until it fixes its problems.

My inbox is always open for questions.

#resident evil #resident evil 2 #resident evil 4 #leon kennedy

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mtkay13 · 2 years ago

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Qi Ye cast poster!!

This had started as a sketch, waaay back as I was still reading Qi Ye. The original is pretty different from this (I considered adding it in the post but I actually don't like it anymore haha), but the plan was already to make this big spread with most of the -more or less- important cast.

I will add here some thoughts about the whole piece, and I guess, Qi Ye itself. My main goal was probably to express my deep and intense feelings for Qi Ye, its grandness, and its awesome cast-- and along with that, flesh out my mental image of each of them, their personality, their style. Here is a table with the names, so we know who is whom, and so I can add some details about my perspective on them and their design.

Jing Beiyuan has always come quite naturally. I just go for the "prettiest face" I ever came with in terms of : my own taste, and the features I find the most delicate. I'd argue he's the easiest character to draw for me across both QY and TYK. On this image, he's probably around 16 or 17. I find his expressions to be very fun to work on in general.

Ping An is also quite an easy character to draw, just for how specific Priest is when describing him.

Wu Xi's design is mainly inspired by a discussion with my friend Hanya, who talked about how, in SHL, Wu Xi more resembled a northern shaman than a southern shaman. It made me want to explore the designs and characteristics a bit more, and come up with more colourful fabrics, patterns, and darker skin color. Same goes for Ashinlae and Nuahar, to have them matching Wu Xi's aesthetic.

Ming Hua was included in this just because of the mess the mention of his name caused in the story. The two jealousy tantrums are just so delightful!!

Su Qingluan was made to resemble Jing Beiyuan, of course. What I wanted to reflect in her face was her frustration, mainly.

Ji Xiang and Hua Yue... Well. Nothing particular about their design either, but they had to be there. Of course, of course they had to be there.

Finally, an opportunity to draw Zishu with his fan and henchmen! Not mad that he kinda looks like a villain, here.

Lu Yu!! I drew him with an Ashinlae mask, since he disguises himself as Ashinlae. I included him because he matters a lot in my headcanons about Siji Manor. (it isn't specified, in Qi Ye, whether or not he's actually part of the manor, but I like to consider that he is for various reason that I may detail if I ever make a Siji Manor post)

I'll skip Jiang Xue and Liang Jiuxiao because their designs are steady for me, now.

I hesitated a lot for Helian Pei's pose, but ended up going for this one (looking bored, out of his depth, lost in the distance with his birds around him). I considered showing him with a bird in his hands, but I guess that's not the main vibe I get from him. And then, well, golden, flashy clothing, suited for an emperor.

Helian Zhao had to be in a showy armor, and I hated making it because it's so much work, haha. I took inspiration from an armor in NiF. I'm quite happy with how he came out in terms of both vibe and showiness.

I tried going full out on Helian Qi. Making him the villain that Qi Ye deserved. Dark, showy, elegant and horrible.

Helian Yi is also pretty solid for me, by now.

About the illustration itself, the main challenge was definitely to make a nice colour palette while still differenciating all the characters. I wanted to go with something intense, eerie, that could also complement the main tones I would go for (= red, purple, blue and green). I'm quite happy with how the golden tones, along with the green and reddish lights, make the whole thing come together. I struggled a little bit with the composition at first, but once I got the flow and the main figures down, it just happened quite easily. Anyway, I'm quite proud of this, and hope it conveys the love and admiration I have for Qi Ye well.

#qi ye #lord seventh #cast #meta #talk about art #七爷

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shiraishi--kanade · 6 months ago

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A controversial opinion but I'm tired of seeing touch-averse characters in media who "get over" their touch aversion.

Not even because it's misrepresentation or not realistic, and not because it's a bad narrative tool. I actually think that, if touch aversion was a result of trauma for that character, them getting used to touch and tactile contact can be a pretty neat healing narrative if done right.

I'm sick of that because the only way we ever see touch-averse characters in media is when they're given a "recovery arc".

But touch aversion is not a disorder. It's not a mental illness. It can be a symptom of one, but not necessarily, and even when it is, it's still morally neutral.

Only getting touch-averse characters who get to "heal" and "learn how to hug" is disheartening because it's simplistic and only touches a part of what touch aversion is. Also, ultimately, in a society that near universally praises physical contact as one of the highest forms of expression love, stories about overcoming one's touch aversion are stories about conformity. So let me hear the story about non-conformity.

I want characters whose touch aversion is not traumagenic and they don't want to change it. I want characters whose touch aversion is traumagenic and they don't want to challenge it, either because they're not there mentally yet despite the fact that it hinders them or just because they're comfortable as they are and don't feel the need to change. I need characters whose touch aversion is a part of their identity and their boundaries are important to them, and when other characters break those boundaries it's not treated lightly or as a running joke. I also need characters who don't even know what being touch averse is, and that it's normal and not a moral failing on their part, and it doesn't make them less worthy or less "normal" than others, and who doubt if they even are touch averse.

I want characters who are touch-averse at the beginning of the story and stay touch-averse. I want characters who know exactly when they gained it, what caused it, and characters who don't, and characters who don't care. I want characters who have always been touch-averse since they were born. I also want characters who are not secretly touch-starved or suffering from their touch-aversion, and I want their companions to assume they must be and be wrong.

I'm tired of almost all scenarios about touch aversion being "oh no, I thought I don't like being touched but I actually do, and now I don't know how to ask people for it", or "everyone assumes a shy character is just touch averse but actually isn't", or the healing arc. Give me some nice and good "Welp, I thought my new friend touching me would be different, but it still feels as bad as a stranger touching me, how do I deal with that?", or "I can't communicate my boundaries for shit and my friend seems sad so I wanted to hug them once and it resulted in months of confusion and unwanted physical contact and I don't know what to do", or even the classic old people forcing themselves into touch because it's normal or they think they should.

Also: let touch-averse characters have romantic relationships. Let touch-averse characters have sexual relationships if that's feels right for them. It's challenging, it's difficult, it requires a lot of figuring shit out and emotional workload, but sometimes touch aversion doesn't let you make even one exception, even to the "most special people in your life", and you have to deal with that, and it's realistic and also a story I would read.

Or let them have an extremely specific hierarchy of who can or can't touch them, for how long, and in what way, and if they need to be asked for consent (which is, like, a good thing to do anyway, by the way), and let them stand their ground even as people and relatives get offended by it.

And lastly: if they do heal, let it be because they want to. For whatever reason, let them initiate the healing and have agency in that decision. Stories about overcoming touch aversion with other people just repeatedly breaking your boundaries without even asking and it somehow being healing to you make me sick and not how that would work out.

Touch averse people deserve to be seen without always having the "oh, but actually you're not really like that, you've just traumatised/not used to it/haven't found the right people yet" narrative showed down our throats. That would be neat, I think.

#jay rambles.txt #touch averse #touch aversion #writeblr #character creation #I don't really want to main tag this but whatever #I need to get this thought out of it'll keep haunting me

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turbulentscrawl · 1 year ago

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can i rq general hcs for antonio? thank you 💜

I’ve been a little more hesitant to tackle the Hunters, (aside from Ithaqua) just because I’ve been unsure how much to lean into them being the “villains” of the manor. And honestly I’m still a little wishy-washy about their characterizations…but anyway, I’m gonna give it a go with Antonio here (because I’ve got requests for him ;) ) and you guys please feel free to tell me if it feels off.

-Antonio is, first and foremost, depressed. And all his coping mechanisms are self-destructive. When life got hard, he turned to alcohol, and then later to gambling. And then, you know, to making a deal with the devil or something. The combination of those broke his wallet, his love, and then his spirit. His fuse is shorter now as a result, but instead of blowing up he moreso just…deflates.

-Despite being a Hunter, a “bad guy,” he’s probably better now than he was before. The biggest issue now is really the whole possession thing. He’s not exactly what you’d call “in control” of his body a good chunk of the time. Exactly when he’s going to lose control is generally unpredictable, aside from feeling like an invisible string of hair has coiled around his wrists shortly before. It happens a lot in matches, where he’s otherwise hesitant to be all that brutal, as well as when his mood gets low enough like above. But when he is in control, history has made Antionio milder than he was before his initial spiral.

-He still really likes his alcohol, but he’s better about taking it in moderation now. The other Hunters help to keep him in check about this as well, if not because they care about him then because he makes for an annoying, hot-headed drunk. He tends to pick fights when he’s really wasted and why would they want to deal with that?

-Gambling is also still problem for him, but since money doesn’t matter in the manors it’s both less concerning and less thrilling. He and some of the other Hunters place bets on matches, staking things like higher-end foods and favors to one another. He’s often requested to play specific pieces of music for people when he loses—particularly ones he dislikes.

-Because of the greedy imprisonment he suffered, Antonio dislikes spending long periods indoors, and especially in his room. He spends as much time outside as possible, enjoying the garden flowers and a cool breeze. On full moons, when there’s nothing planned, he usually goes wandering about to try and find any survivors doing the same. He enjoys the fresh company, for the most part, and even considers some of them friends.

-Antonio is among the most displeased of the Hunters, regarding the set-up for matches. Despite his history as a violent drunk, he takes no pleasure in hurting people, and he’s bitter about possibly having to be “evil” for the rest of eternity. The fact that some of the survivors don’t hold the matches against him is a balm to his aching soul.

-While the violin is his instrument and weapon of choice, Antonio enjoys all of the arts. Any kind of music, visual, or performance. He understands the importance of self-expression, and loves to see people give themselves to it in earnest. What he dislikes are frauds. People who use art just to make a buck.

-The best love languages for Antonio are Quality Time and Acts of Service. He finds it incredibly sweet when others anticipate some of his needs and complete tasks for him in case his arms are taken and he’s unable to do them himself later. He also just enjoys spending time around his loved ones, it reminds him that he’s not some irredeemable monster. He prefers to show his love through Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch, often giving people sweet pet names and touching their arms.

-His hair is stronger than the game suggests. He can easily carry large items, other people, and even lift himself with it. He can hoist himself up to a second-story floor with relative ease, though being lifted by your scalp isn't exactly the most comfortable sensation, so he tries to avoid it.

#idv x reader #identity v x reader #idv violinist #antonio paganini x reader #turbulentscrawl

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glassandhamsandwich · 11 days ago

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the fix it au. pls pls tell me about it.

Ok so again, this is very underdeveloped… It will get better I prommy….. Also this is so cringe and incredibly self indulgent but I DONT GIVE A CRAP!!!!!!!

Also I wrote this over the course of 3 days and I did NOT re-read it so if it sucks to read I am SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!

ADDAIR CENTERED AU BECAUSE I LOVE HIM I DON’T CARE IM GIVING HIM A REDEMPTION ARC BUT ITS NOT AN ARC ITS JUST THE WHOLE STORY !!!!!!

Actually let me start with a list of all the people that get to survive in this…. Its just all of the characters that I care for at all.

All of the infected (including Roper, O’Connor, and Raffs even though I always forget about them LMAO… i still have to decide if I want them to be infected in here…. Raffs is a most likely because I’m making a design for him rn)

Caz, Finlay, Roy, Brodie, Innes, maybe Archie, and maybe a few other background characters so that it seems a little bit less like everyone died because now that I’m writing this down thats really not a lot of people….. But also a lot of people did die

so if i ever did decide to do any writing for this like i wanted to.. It would start pre-making the infected be normal again. The way that they figure out to bring them back to normal is that they basically have to remove the shape from whatever part of them it attached itself to, because theres always one main “contact point”. The shape can either be removed by basically poisoning them into throwing it up and/or killing the shape with chemicals, because it is technically just a plant. Or cutting it out of them.

Muir was pretty easy to poison because he kept trying to eat things because…. cwd.. bro was hungry.. And he still is it did NOT help!!!

Both Trots and Gibbo had to be restrained, Trots got it basically tore out from his goopy lack of legs and Gibbo had to be force fed rat poison and cleaning chemicals because he was freaking out too much for them to safely cut into him.

Rennick incapacitated himself by getting into a battle with Addair and got fucked up pretty bad because his ass is NOT built like Addair’s is, and they were able to cut it out of him fish dinner style.

They did not get Addair he is still out there at this point.

So since they figured that the shape can be killed they start destroying it little by little, tearing it down when they can and drowning all of it in chemicals. This is a pretty slow process because I think that the game would be so much cooler if it took place over multiple days because I just like drawn out horror. Also because I want this to last longer, the shape did not damage the rig to the extent that it did in the game, so it was still “safe” to be on.

And now is an important time to get into how the shape affected them mentally. Pretty similar to how it is in canon where it gives you hallucinations of your loved ones, but in addition to the auditory hallucinations, they also have visual ones.

This was basically Addair’s motive for working for the shape so insistently, it gave him the illusion that he was providing for his family.

Uhm anyway when they managed to fully kill the shape Addair’s currently messed up brain saw that as them killing his family…. Which he was not super psyched about obviously. The shape is dead and its dead in him… but 1. He was affected the longest so his head was a little crazier than the rest of them and 2. He never got it properly removed so erm… he's a little freaked!!!!

Anyway so after they kill the shape the main challenge just becomes not letting the damage that was caused break the whole rig and kill them all while they await rescue, and also avoiding Addair at all costs because he is more out for them than he was before.

And I totally forgot to mention this before but it is important.. Addair has a tendency to specifically target Caz… actually just hates that guy so much there is a seething jealousy he has for him that comes out as anger because that's just how he makes himself.

So yeah the rig is still kind of falling apart and not working like it should….. including the flare stack…. and I think we know where this is going…

This is what that comic that i mentioned like one time and then never finished was about. So Caz, Finlay, Gibbo, Trots, and Roper are sent to go relight the flare stack, because safety in numbers or whatever. And Brodie and Raffs stay in whatever that section Brodie is in during the flare stack scene in the game idk what it's called…. but erm… yuh oh! Addair is here….. down at the flare stack I mean.

Caz takes the relighter to run down the stack while the rest of them try to distract Addair. But that buzz sound that happens in the game happens and draws Addair’s attention over to Caz… who again he just absolutely hates… way more than everyone else so he changes his focus onto getting Caz. And obviously he blows up like he does in the game because he's a fucking idiot… But the flare stack doesn't go down with him this time so Caz is mostly safe on that front. So yeah Addair falls in the ocean but he very shockingly survives it… and manages to crawl his way into the pontoons (or whatever that flooded part is idk anymore) and basically collapses there for the time being.

Back to everyone else they are somehow still waiting for rescue to come after a few days and are wondering if it's even coming at all so they’re now having to worry about that.. And their also having to worry about running out of supplies.. So they hit that classic “let’s split up, gang!”, both to scrounge around the entire rig for literally anything they can find, and to check for any final traces of the shape. Gibbo get sent to the pontoons by himself because he can navigate it way easier than anyone else can because I gave him gills😁😁😁 but uhh yeah guess who he finds down there….. Haha….

This is were this au slowly gets more character relationship based because I LOVE character relationships and interactions they are my favorite things ever.

So yeah Gibbo find Addair down in the pontoons and is like “WHAT THE FLIP!!!!!” and at this point Addair has gotten a bit more of his normal conscience back because the shapes been dead for “a while” now and he hasn’t been surrounded by people that he feels he needs to kill so he’s got more of an understanding of his environment then he used to but he’s still kind of in that animal instinct going on so he ATTEMPTS to scare Gibbo off because he sees him as a threat obvi. But he does a very poor job of this because he’s still incredibly injured and honestly Gibbo just thinks it’s a little pathetic. because it is…. So Gibbo basically decided to just leave him down there and not mention it to anyone else because he is NOT feeling up to dealing with that rn but he knows that Addair wouldn’t want the others to know he’s there and at the moment he’s just going to let Addair have it his way because he is in a PITIFUL state rn and even if that's not the best decision, it's the easiest. He backtracks on this decision pretty quickly though because it’s hard to just forget that there's a dying little freak in your basement so he’s like…. I should probably go check on him… So he does.. And then he keeps doing it and they start BONDING i'm forcing them to be friends because they're my favorites and Gibbo’s trying and SUCCEEDING to make him a better person. Uhm so since Gibbo keeps going to check on Addair in the pontoons, he keeps just disappearing for a while and everyone else is obviously wondering where he’s going because he isn't telling anyone. They all decide to send Trots after him when they catch him leaving one time because Trots is who he’d probably trust the most to tell anything. He does NOT tell Trots anything so Trots pulls the good ol’ “I better follow him” and struggles his way down to the pontoons following Gibbo as best he can and when he finally gets down there he sees Addair obviously. He's very hard to miss. So now Trots gets his turn to go “WHAT THE FLIP 😨😨😨😨” But he agrees to not tell the others that he saw him, against his better judgment, after Gibbo begs him not too.

When Trots goes back to the rest of the group and they ask him what he found he just LIES and says that he lost Gibbo’s trail and couldn’t follow him the whole way. The next 2 times that Gibbo goes down to see Addair, Trots goes with him, but it only takes those two times for him to be lik e”yeah… you cant keep doing this dude and also I think we need to get Addair some “proper” medical attention or else hes going to die…” because at this point hes just been sitting with untreated crazy ass wounds from being BLOWN UP (they aren’t as bad as they would be because I think that the shape made them really physically strong, like they can take some crazy blows and be mostly ok) and they’re getting infected (IRONIC!!!!) because hes been sitting in these nasty ass pontoons for a while now and those wounds are FREAKED!!!!! SO Gibbo and Addair are both (very reluctantly on Addair’s part) “ok I guess☹️” and they VERY painstakingly make their way out of the pontoons because Addair can NOT move very well.

OIL RIG FAMILY REUNION!!!! The rest of them are NOT happy about Addair being here. They don’t feel threatened by him because… again he can barely move it snot like he can really do anything. But Gibbo and Trots vouch for him that he’s mostly normal now and isn’t going to try to kill them and also is trying his darndest to start being a better person. They agree to basically not kill him I guess and let him stay (Caz, Finlay, and O’Connor were against this decision but in the end they aren't going to actually leave him to die(Caz would actually I think)). So he gets the most lackluster medical treatment (basically just bandages and like…. Neosporin or something idk) and begins his terribly slow physical recovery process.

During this this time they finally are able to figure out that the reason rescue is taking so long is because the rigs communications got cut off so none of their messages actually went through and somehow Cadal hasn’t realized that something is wrong yet and nothing has been coming from the Beira D. TERRIBLE COMPANY I HATE YOU!!!!!

Ok i need to wrap this up im 3 pages into the google doc im writing this in oh em gee….. Anyway rescue finally comes eventually and they get back to shore and Cadal is like “ok guys so how about we DON’T talk about this or sue us over this or anything yeah 😊😊😊😊 we’ll give you some money if you don't talk about it <333” and they all just kind of have to oblige because otherwise they risk the safety of the infected if the public finds out about them. So they find a place to stay and then the rest of the AU is just me putting Addair THROUGH THE WRINGER. He is NOT having a good time… that's my promise to you…

“This is underdeveloped” I say and then write 3 pages worth of stuff for it….. and I didn't even really get into any of the character relationships.....

Anyway if you want to ask me anything else……. You know what to do……

Posting this and not opening tumblr for a while because I’m embarrassed about it LMAO… MY IRL FRIENDS ARE GOING TO SEE THIS THIS IS SO NOT COOL!!!!! I’m blocking you guys…..

#finally decided to tag it I don't care anymore.....#still wakes the deep #swtd

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