#and the point isn't that i'm upset that my current fics aren't getting any engagement

[lesbiansanemi]

I mean I knew this was gonna happen and I’m not bothered by it in the sense of like “no one wants to read my fics 😭” but it is kinda so sad it’s funny how I started posting femslash again and this is what the stats look like

I mean, ofc, I know these have been posted in just the last week, however, generally if I post an m/m fic it usually racks up at least a hundred kudos in the first couple days

And like, for comparison. These are one-shots that were posted in 2022 that are similar lengths and most of which are in the same fandoms (or at least fandoms of similar sizes), and none of the femslash fics would be what is considered “rarepairs” (in fact they’re the most popular femslash ships in the respective fandoms)

These are the femslash fics and the most popular one is almost three years old and hovering just below 450 kudos

Now here’s the m/m fics (while the ships are not necessarily rarepairs, they are not the most popular m/m ships)

Like holy god…. The difference is fucking insane. The lowest one from that period of time has nearly 700 kudos. That's creeping towards two times the amount of the most popular f/f fic

Hell. Here’s a gen fic also posted around the same time

Even it has pretty easily and obviously overtaken the femslash numbers

Here’s f/f smut compared to m/m smut, just to tackle that particular type of fic while we're here

I'm sure you can tell which is which... And again, I want to stress, this is the most popular f/f ship in the fandom vs a fairly popular but definitely not comparable to the most popular m/m ship from the same fandom. And if anything, the m/m smut has far more niche kinks/dynamics than the f/f smut

Here's my oldest f/f fic (and oldest fic in general) along with the number of fics within the ship's tag

Now, here's an m/m fic posted about a year later, with a similar number of works for the ship

So you can't even argue that it's because I'm only writing for femslash rarepairs (also that's a moot argument anyways because in 95% of fandoms, if you look at it statistically, nearly all f/f ships would be considered rarepairs and at a certain point... you have to face that that's because they're f/f ships. That's the only common denominator. The only fandoms that's NOT the case for are ones where 80-90% of the characters are women.... ergo there's barely any men to ship together.)

And then of course, there's the annoying-ass age old "but the female characters just aren't written or developed as well as the male characters!!!!" excuse

Well. Let's take a look at My Hero Academia as an example. Here are the amount of fics for Toga/Ochako, two major female characters who have a very in depth relationship, and you can argue, are at least semi-canon in regards to them having romantic feelings

VS Shinso/Kaminari, an m/m ship containing two very background characters with a fraction of the screen time or focus of Toga or Ochako, and who barely interact with each other throughout the entire series

So.... once again, I'm sure you can see the point I'm making here, and showing why that's such a flimsy bullshit argument that people keep falling back on because god forbid they actually focus on a woman but they want to blame it on someone else and not their own misogyny....

And it's just.... I'm not entirely sure what point I'm trying to make. It does just get tiring. It doesn't matter how anyone tries to phrase it or point it out, if you talk about how there is so clearly a bias against female characters and f/f ships among fandoms that is most definitely rooted in misogyny, people act like you're fucking crazy or a bitch or just trying to ruin their fun or whatever.

They also like to go on and say things like "well if you want more of it just make it yourself." Except.... look at what happens when we do. You can literally statistically see that people prefer m/m to f/f, and yeah, it's fucking annoying and tiring and disheartening.

I write mostly for myself, and I'm happy with all my f/f fics and will likely continue making them, but surely you can see how this would be discouraging to so many writers (and I'm sure artists probably struggle in a similar way). Even if we make more f/f art, fic, edits, etc., people still aren't engaging with them in any meaningful way in comparison to m/m content.

Again, I don't mean this in the sense of "people need to go read my f/f fics RIGHT NOW!" It's just pointing out a very obvious pattern of behavior and engagement that yeah, I do get tired of seeing. It fucking sucks seeing and knowing that no one cares to engage with femslash. Because again, this isn't some abstract thing, me just saying "sigh... no one cares about f/f" and that being that. There's fucking numbers and stats here that prove it

Idk. Like I said, it's annoying and tiring to see, and it does make me disappointed to know that no matter what, my m/m fics will always, always garner more attention than my f/f fics

[rollercoasterwords]

Regarding recommendations of your fic, are you more comfortable with people not ‘advertising’ it on tiktok and such? I know that the comments people make on there can be pretty intense. My point of asking this is, where is the line for you about how much you want your fic talked about outside of tumblr? I think we’ve all seen it before, fics blowing up online is a double edged sword, so I understand you wanting to keep in ‘contained’. I just love to gush about my current favorite reads, but I also don’t want to cause you any trouble.

okay i feel like this answer is gonna get long lol but. yeah generally speaking tldr is i'm not really comfortable w people posting abt my hp fics on tiktok anymore

and like. i don't wanna come off as like...ungrateful ig. like it does make me happy when people like my fics enough to recommend them + i appreciate the kind words + love etc but!! honestly if someone is wanting to let me know that they appreciate my writing the best way to do so is by commenting or sending me a message here, bc im not gonna see any tiktoks unless i go searching for them. and while i appreciate people reccing my fics i also like. have no desire for any sort of 'advertising' like i appreciate recs to the extent that they're someone telling me 'hey i loved ur writing!' i don't like. have a desire to grow an 'audience' or whatever so! that is not something i am asking anybody to help me do and if someone does decide to try and make my fics more popular i'm not really gonna be grateful bc like...i didn't ask for that lol.

and the two big reasons i'm specifically wary about tiktok are:

1. every time i have seen a fic go viral/gain popularity on tiktok there has been a simultaneous influx of hate, entitlement, and just general fuckery that has made the fic writer's life worse. so in this case, specifically with atwmd, i am 100% sure that if it did gain popularity via tiktok that i would get an influx of hate, especially bc it's like. a complex story with very fucked up characters lol. i mean just look at the people who take up arms bc atyd wolfstar is 'toxic' or whatever...i do not want 2 see what would happen if that crowd read my wolfstar in atwmd lmao

2. i have very mixed feelings abt writing hp fic in the first place and am trying to limit my personal contribution to hp's popularity. like. with ao3 people aren't going to be stumbling across hp fic unless they're already seeking it out; tumblr is, for the most part, a similar type of self-curated space where my hp fic pretty much remains limited to what are already hp-fic reading circles.

but bc of tiktok's algorithm, my fic could end up on the fyp's of people who aren't really interested in hp and pique their interest, drawing in new people to start engaging w hp fandom who otherwise wouldn't. and i don't really like the idea of that happening! i don't want the fic i'm writing to contribute to like. growing hp's popularity. i'd rather keep it in circles of people who are already choosing to engage w this content, rather than have it float into the lives of people who might otherwise not see it.

i also feel like. on ao3 anyone finding the fic is gonna be someone searching for like. those specific tags--someone who wants to read a story like the one i'm writing. on tumblr, the only people really hearing abt it r people who follow me + so have like....seen me talking abt the fic + are basically knowing what to expect. on tiktok, any posts tagged like #marauders or whatever could end up crossing paths w a bunch of people who specifically would not read this type of fic, and i do not want those people to read it and then get upset with me when the story isn't what they wanted (something else that i have seen happen to other writers). so that's kinda what i mean by the 'breaking containment' thing

anyway. i don't have any issue w people reccing my fics to like their friends or closed discord servers or whatever--spaces where like. u know the people ur reccing it to are people who would like the fic + not treat it like a product for consumption etc. and as stated previously i appreciate those sorts of recommendations bc it does mean a lot 2 me when someone likes my writing enough to want 2 share it!! there are just specific pitfalls w tiktok that i have grown uncomfortable w to the point that now anytime someone mentions seeing my fic over there and i go search up the vid, even if it's super sweet and has like lovely comments that make me smile and literally nothing negative i still get a kick of anxiety at the thought of who might see this video or what might happen if it goes viral.

i've accepted at this point that i can't control how people are going to respond to my writing once i've posted it on the internet; all i can do is say 'please don't do x with my fics' and hope people listen. but i'm not gonna like get mad at people for posting on tiktok or whatever bc obviously not everyone is gonna see this post or read my faq, and i don't want to send any hate towards people who are posting tiktoks abt my fics--like i don't need anyone defending me or whatever. usually those vids are just out of sight out of mind 4 me. but!! since u have taken the time 2 kindly ask (ty btw) this is like. the very long answer abt where i currently stand on tiktok lol