#and the movie isn't like ''wow dinosaurs scary!!!'' it's...

[highly-opinionated-nerd]

Watched in 2023:

(this isn't absolutely everything, but it's all the stuff I had something to say about:)

Zorro (1940)- did not expect to enjoy this as much as I did going in. Although, given that Zorro was one of the inspirations for Batman, I should have. Loved it.

Ocean’s Eleven (2001)- what I love most about this movie is that there is exactly zero pretense of the noble thief going on here. We’re normal thieves, with a normal lack of honor, and the audience is still rooting for us because Tony Benedict is such a jerk.

Avatar the Last Airbender (2005-2008)- nth rewatch. My big takeaway this time was trying to piece together who knew what about previous events at any given moment. When Zuko said that Mai was his girlfriend, Sokka had met her onscreen a grand total of about four times. Things like that, you know, perspective.

Superman (1978)- look. I love all things DC, but I’d only ever seen clips of this one before, for whatever reason. But one of our clinicians mentioned offhand that John Williams did the score, and that was the push I needed to sit down and watch it. And it was. DELIGHTFUL. I had noooooo idea exactly how much Christopher Reeve was BUILT for that role. He’s skinny, he’s tall, his legs are a million miles long, he’s GENTLE, all the things I love for Superman to be. And the rest of the cast??? New favorite Perry, first of all. The only Lois I’ve ever actually liked. Stupid underground Lex with his underground pool and his Odyssean Need for everyone to know his name at all times. I loved it.

Jurassic Park (1993)- *shows up to the movie 30 years late* what’s UP, everyone, I’m a Jurassic Park FAN now. WOW. I liked this one a lot more than I thought I would. New favorite-at-first-sight in Dr. Malcolm. I, too, was once one of those weird little girls obsessed with dinosaurs. Tim and I even have the same teeth. Before watching this I thought the dinos were the villains of this movie, just used for scary purposes. Nice to see that they were treated with respect, and by highly educated characters. They were also scary, but, they can be both. I used to have recurring nightmares a lot like some of the velociraptor parts. I’m a little baby about scary things and the whole experience left me a little bit jittery, haha. Remind me never to read the novel version- I’m sure it’s absolutely terrifying!

Winx Club season 1 (2004)- one of many attempts at a peace offering to my inner little girl, but she actually liked this one ok! Both the dialogue and delivery are absolutely abysmal, but I like the style of it, and the concept of the three different magic schools. The Red Fountain characters cracked me up every time I see them.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) and The Winter Soldier (2014)- one is a nice superhero movie, with a bunch of lame one-liners and gratuitous explosions and a succinct core story. The other is a Nick Fury movie with Captain America sprinkled on top, pretending to be a superhero movie. The way they talk is different. I love superheroes but god, I hate the MCU. It just makes me a bit sad how seriously it takes itself. I'm convinced the only reasons The First Avenger is better is because 1. it's set in the past and 2. more concretely based around a preexisting comic storyline.

It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963)- rewatch. TELL me you’ve seen this movie. This classic. This absolute riot. Favorite bits include Sylvester crying in the car, the dentist shhhhing at the explosion in the basement, the entire drunk pilot sequence, and Ginger and Billy Sue talking to each other through the two phones.

Singin’ in the Rain (1952)- I saw this in middle school, and the only bit that stuck with me was ‘you wouldn’t believe the things you can hide in these sleeves’. I've been familiar with some of the music through the years, but I'm very glad I remembered to give it another full watch, it’s a delightful story. Love, love, love all the costumes, especially the green flapper dress

One Piece live action (2023)- I’m an annoyingly big fan of One Piece, and I didn’t plan to watch this adaptation, since I knew it probably wouldn’t live up to my standards, but my friend convinced me. I could go on and on forever with petty complaints, but I can’t lie, the visuals were great. The diverse cast, the effects, and the attention to detail were all good. They completely messed up Zoro and Buggy, but they did Mihawk probably even better than the manga. Mixed feelings. I give it like 3/5 overall.

Generator Rex (2010-2013)- rewatch. I love everything about this show- the premise, the characters, the balance of action, scientific speculation, and humor. But more than anything I love CAESAR SALAZAR

[turtles-are-green-beans]

So, can we just establish something cause while I do write, I really need someone else to write this for me. So in the Jurassic Park movies, we have raptors, those raptors make a noise correct? Well, that noise is just tortoises mating. I'd like to ask who the hell was looking for a sound to give to these creatures and was scrolling through and saw 'Tortoises mating' in the list and had a listen and then was like "Yes, this is the noise I want for some ferocious reptiles. It's gonna sound so scary."

So, hypothetically, what would happen if the turtles watched Jurassic Park while you're in the room? Not as any of their s/o but just as a good friend that maybe just a crush on one of them? Like, actually? Would they go into a frenzy and start trying to get onto you or would they get hard and embarrassed and be like wtf? Actually, Imma give you some headcanons.

LEONARDO

Totally confused

What's happening to my body?!

Why do I feel like I need to DO something (or someone) right now?

I shouldn't feel like this. I really shouldn't.

Hold back the urge. Come on.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

(If you're around)

Holy fuck when did they start looking like that?

I could devour them.

Totally gets really horny for you all of a sudden

Leaves the room out of respect

Tells his brothers to reign it in

Looks at your hips as you walk into the kitchen and then goes to stand next to you, starting you down with intensity.

"Uh, is something wrong?"

"Nope. I really need to go. Bye, Y/N."

Meditates

RAPHAEL

Woah. Wtf?

Why do raptors sounds so hot?

This isn't normal but just let me fuckin listen for a bit.

Gets really hard.

Not really embarrassed.

Only leaves the room to go to his room and relieve himself.

(If you're around)

Well damn. Dats a fine piece of ass.

Wants to fuck you hard but resists by just staring while you aren't looking

"What ya lookin at Raph?"

"Well what I'm seeing is just a snack. How bout you let me get the whole meal?"

You blush and he gets more horny but still restrains himself

Goes to work out

Calms down

DONATELLO

I-Is this what it feels like to be aroused? Wow. I could get used to this.

Should I leave the room?

Wait, what actually caused this chemical reaction within me?

Mikey, Raph and Leo seem to be feeling the same way judging by their bodily response and expression.

Releases a shakey breath when he sees the tent in his pants.

(If you're around)

They're very sexy. Though they probably would not want to have coitus with a giant talking turtle though.

Tries to keep a distance while still observing you.

"Hey Don, why are you acting so weird?"

"Oh, I uh I j-just. You're really um, really lovely Y/N but I have to do something in the lab. Sorry."

Looks up the noises they used for the dinosaurs and figures out why he got aroused.

MICHELANGELO

Wow, brah. This feels niiiiiiiice.

Why though?

Didn't know dinosaurs could be hot but alright guy. I'm down to clown.

But seriously, like, I know I'm a turtle but is this real?

Maybe it's just random. The internet said it could be random.

I should trust the internet.

(If you're around)

Constantly stares at the legs. Those nice legs.

Doesn't leave the room.

"Hey Mike, you wanna play some video games?"

Blushes a little and looks to the controller in your hand which is too close to your crotch.

"Nah. I gotta go to something in the other room. Gotta run. See ya Y/N!"

Dashes out of the room and to his (doesn't bunk with Raph anymore)

[zephsomething]

Hey ink? Your tags rock and I would much rather see your version of the Dino trilogy

The tags:

this is specifically due to my rage and undying hatred of megacorporation disney. and specifically bc i think there COULD have been a really good series of new dinosaur island t rex movies if they had just fucking gone the distance stopped with the fucking bad CGI and made the whole thing about late-stage capitalism do you wanna know what would ACTUALLY sell and work on the big screen more than a trex screaming in front of a volcano (u absolute jerkweeds)? so they've rebuilt the island and the park. but the narrative is 100% that nobody wants to fucking work there and it feels AT BEST cult-like and insular. nobody is paid well for this at EVERY possible place they are cutting corners. the dinosaurs might have higher walls but the handlers are paid 5.34 an hour due to island laws. the corporation has RFID tags in their costumes which they are forced to wear the employees are not allowed to drink water in 120 degree heat bc it would be upsetting to guests u know real things i experienced working for disney (but it was 8.90) anyway it turns out the park CEO knew the risks and just didnt care bc bottom line BAYBEE. it would be so much more sobering and fucking GOOD if it was like. scientists being like ''i am an environmental scientist'' ''after the epa was slashed this is literally the only job i could find. i literally HAD to take it or i couldn't feed my family.'' ''i hate what i do. i am disgusted by it. i literally CANNOT STOP because the company also charges us 400 dollars a week to live here'' the dinosaurs escape EARLY in my movie. like minute 45. and then... 1 week later the park reopens. half the staff are missing. they're just fucking gone. it doesn't matter tho the company tells everyone to work 2x as hard that those people weren't loyal enough or they are tragic heroes bc they died doing what they love and the movie isn't like ''wow dinosaurs scary!!!'' it's... that in a global fucking pandemic disney kept sacrificing employees. but it'll be disguised bc the pandemic will be dinosaurs. this my beloved is what we call an ALLEGORY but unfortunately certain companies have never heard of them allegories require critical thinking and that doesn't test well with audiences

i hate how commodity and capitalism has ruined so much storytelling . i hate how sequels and prequels and whatever else all ring like merch sales; i hate that i as an author have to include any social media following i have as a marketable trait; i hate that everything feels like a xerox of a copy of a dream of a memory.

i hate that my nostalgia has been turned into profit. i hate that companies fear consumer backlash so no real commentary may be made; i hate that companies care more about quantity over quality. i hate that so many artists and creators are being overworked to the point of complete collapse rather than being allowed to tell the story their way. i hate that every point of representation has to be fought for. i hate it i want us all to go back to living in a cave .

when you sit with friends over a bonfire and the night is getting long and people start telling this slow, almost hypnotic story - in this quiet voice, like they don't expect you to listen while they say the most fucked up shit you've ever heard - that is storytelling. who cares if the punchline is car hand hook door. storytelling has always been about community, about us all sitting in the dark, choosing to fill the silence while the last embers are dying. we forgot that storytelling is spellwork. hallucinating together, our breaths held, waiting for the ending we already knew was coming.

[schafpudel]

#this is specifically due to my rage and undying hatred of megacorporation #disney. #and specifically bc i think there COULD have been a really good series of new #dinosaur island t rex movies #if they had just fucking gone the distance #stopped with the fucking bad CGI #and made the whole thing about late-stage capitalism #do you wanna know what would ACTUALLY sell and work on the big screen more than a trex screaming in front of a volcano #(u absolute jerkweeds)? #so they've rebuilt the island and the park. but the narrative is 100% #that nobody wants to fucking work there and it feels AT BEST cult-like and insular. nobody is paid well for this #at EVERY possible place they are cutting corners. the dinosaurs might have higher walls #but the handlers are paid 5.34 an hour due to island laws. the corporation has RFID tags in their costumes which they are forced to wear #the employees are not allowed to drink water in 120 degree heat bc it would be upsetting to guests #u know real things i experienced working for disney #(but it was 8.90) #anyway it turns out the park CEO knew the risks and just didnt care bc bottom line BAYBEE. #it would be so much more sobering and fucking GOOD if it was like. scientists being like ''i am an environmental scientist'' #''after the epa was slashed this is literally the only job i could find. i literally HAD to take it or i couldn't feed my family.'' #''i hate what i do. i am disgusted by it. i literally CANNOT STOP because the company also charges us 400 dollars a week to live here'' #the dinosaurs escape EARLY in my movie. like minute 45. and then... 1 week later #the park reopens. #half the staff are missing. they're just fucking gone. it doesn't matter tho the company tells everyone to work 2x as hard #that those people weren't loyal enough or they are tragic heroes bc they died doing what they love #and the movie isn't like ''wow dinosaurs scary!!!'' it's... #that in a global fucking pandemic disney kept sacrificing employees. #but it'll be disguised bc the pandemic will be dinosaurs. #this my beloved is what we call an ALLEGORY but unfortunately certain companies have never heard of them #allegories require critical thinking and that doesn't test well with audiences

i hate how commodity and capitalism has ruined so much storytelling . i hate how sequels and prequels and whatever else all ring like merch sales; i hate that i as an author have to include any social media following i have as a marketable trait; i hate that everything feels like a xerox of a copy of a dream of a memory.

i hate that my nostalgia has been turned into profit. i hate that companies fear consumer backlash so no real commentary may be made; i hate that companies care more about quantity over quality. i hate that so many artists and creators are being overworked to the point of complete collapse rather than being allowed to tell the story their way. i hate that every point of representation has to be fought for. i hate it i want us all to go back to living in a cave .

when you sit with friends over a bonfire and the night is getting long and people start telling this slow, almost hypnotic story - in this quiet voice, like they don't expect you to listen while they say the most fucked up shit you've ever heard - that is storytelling. who cares if the punchline is car hand hook door. storytelling has always been about community, about us all sitting in the dark, choosing to fill the silence while the last embers are dying. we forgot that storytelling is spellwork. hallucinating together, our breaths held, waiting for the ending we already knew was coming.

[musicalrainboots]

the tags are fantasic: #this is specifically due to my rage and undying hatred of megacorporation#disney.#and specifically bc i think there COULD have been a really good series of new#dinosaur island t rex movies#if they had just fucking gone the distance#stopped with the fucking bad CGI#and made the whole thing about late-stage capitalism#do you wanna know what would ACTUALLY sell and work on the big screen more than a trex screaming in front of a volcano#(u absolute jerkweeds)?#so they've rebuilt the island and the park. but the narrative is 100%#that nobody wants to fucking work there and it feels AT BEST cult-like and insular. nobody is paid well for this#at EVERY possible place they are cutting corners. the dinosaurs might have higher walls#but the handlers are paid 5.34 an hour due to island laws. the corporation has RFID tags in their costumes which they are forced to wear#the employees are not allowed to drink water in 120 degree heat bc it would be upsetting to guests#u know real things i experienced working for disney#(but it was 8.90)#anyway it turns out the park CEO knew the risks and just didnt care bc bottom line BAYBEE.#it would be so much more sobering and fucking GOOD if it was like. scientists being like ''i am an environmental scientist''#''after the epa was slashed this is literally the only job i could find. i literally HAD to take it or i couldn't feed my family.''#''i hate what i do. i am disgusted by it. i literally CANNOT STOP because the company also charges us 400 dollars a week to live here''#the dinosaurs escape EARLY in my movie. like minute 45. and then... 1 week later#the park reopens.#half the staff are missing. they're just fucking gone. it doesn't matter tho the company tells everyone to work 2x as hard#that those people weren't loyal enough or they are tragic heroes bc they died doing what they love#and the movie isn't like ''wow dinosaurs scary!!!'' it's...#that in a global fucking pandemic disney kept sacrificing employees.#but it'll be disguised bc the pandemic will be dinosaurs.#this my beloved is what we call an ALLEGORY but unfortunately certain companies have never heard of them#allegories require critical thinking and that doesn't test well with audiences

i hate how commodity and capitalism has ruined so much storytelling . i hate how sequels and prequels and whatever else all ring like merch sales; i hate that i as an author have to include any social media following i have as a marketable trait; i hate that everything feels like a xerox of a copy of a dream of a memory.

i hate that my nostalgia has been turned into profit. i hate that companies fear consumer backlash so no real commentary may be made; i hate that companies care more about quantity over quality. i hate that so many artists and creators are being overworked to the point of complete collapse rather than being allowed to tell the story their way. i hate that every point of representation has to be fought for. i hate it i want us all to go back to living in a cave .

when you sit with friends over a bonfire and the night is getting long and people start telling this slow, almost hypnotic story - in this quiet voice, like they don't expect you to listen while they say the most fucked up shit you've ever heard - that is storytelling. who cares if the punchline is car hand hook door. storytelling has always been about community, about us all sitting in the dark, choosing to fill the silence while the last embers are dying. we forgot that storytelling is spellwork. hallucinating together, our breaths held, waiting for the ending we already knew was coming.