#and the modern books I'd been finding never rly gave me that emotional catharsis and connection

[piplupod]

been listening to the audiobook of the first warriors (cat series) book and... man. MAN !!! no wonder ravenpaw's whole thing here made me incredibly uncomfortable and scared in a way I'd never experienced while reading before when I first read it in like grade 4/5. it is such a mirror for the abuse (the control aspects mainly) and emotions I was feeling but didn't have the awareness of at the time (<- had been convinced that the way their family operated was normal and couldn't find out otherwise bc they weren't allowed to talk about any aspects of their home life to anyone outside of the family because "family is all you can trust, you can never trust anyone outside of this house". haha don't u love it when ur mother's abuse lines up with things present in the BITE model ☺️☺️☺️✨✨ very epic and cool /sarc!!!!!)

absolutely jarring experience though to be casually working on landscaping a big area in m.inecraft and then oops here's a big thunk on the head from this children's series you were obsessed with as a kid! here's a puzzle piece for you to put into place! WHAT THE HELL MAN 😭😭 im just trying to NOT think for a little while,,, truly there are so few escapes bc the abuse permeates so many aspects (dare i say... all aspects...) of my life right down to the media i connected with as a child.

and no I'm not going to examine why I enjoyed Huck Finn and Heidi so much because that one will DEFINITELY kick me in the stomach repeatedly 😐