#and the friends i've made here from these silly films

[average-jedtavius-enjoyer]

Two years ago today, I watched night at the museum for the first time! Have the sillies to celebrate!

-small rant under the cut-

Honestly, these films have brought such an indescribable light to my life, and (as silly as it sounds) helped me through some very tough times over the past 24 months, I cannot believe it has been 2 years of me indulging myself with these silly little guys!

About a year after watching the first movie, I also began this blog! and have since enjoyed my year engaging in and sharing my art with this wonderful community. Unfortunately, I missed making a post celebrating one year on this hellsite in September - so consider this as that as well!

(I'm so sorry the lines of this piece are a bit shaky an disjointed, I drew this with a minor hand injury that made it hard for me to hold a pen but I still wanted to make something small 😭)

[denwritesandcries]

Fall(ing for You) – S.C

Pairing: sam carpenter x soft goth!reader

Summary: Sam is certain that Tara's new quiet friend may turn out to be Ghostface, unfortunately – or not –, that friend is you.

or, it takes the help of tara and a dog for sam to finally come to her senses.

Word count: 6,0k.

Content: scream 6 but without the killing, r's 23, cursing, wingman tara ft. yr dog, jokes abt r being ghostface, fluff, pining, sam falling first AND harder, silly movie references.

Note: hey guys, It's been a while since I've written for scream but I rewatched it recently and finally got some inspiration again! I describe the reader a little more in this but it won't really affect anything if you choose to ignore it.

English is not my first language.

Tara made a new friend.

Sam still isn't sure exactly, but the only plausible explanation for the way Tara has been acting lately is that her sister met someone interesting enough to keep her attention so that she gave everyone a break from her tantrums and reckless behavior since their new start outside of Woodsboro.

Now, that could be a good thing, it had been months since the kids started college and they were all doing relatively well. Mindy had Anika, Chad had Ethan and also there was Quinn, even though she wasn't very close to anyone. Tara should have someone too.

The problem is that Sam has no idea who this person is. Tara just won't tell her.

You see, Sam understands that she might have been a little too protective of her sister and that this made Tara's behavior become defensive towards her. Her new therapist – after she got rid of that quack – is helping her work through that, okay? But curiosity and worry were eating away at her insides. The curfews, the tasers and pepper sprays, and especially the ID checks were all important to keep them safe, dammit! Mindy and Chad had no problem with it, and it was only after all the appropriate measures were in place that Sam could breathe and let these new people be a part of their lives. Not knowing this so-called friend, let alone who they were, was driving her to the brink of a breakdown.

She was trying to give her some space, probing with subtle questions here and there and the most she got was an eye roll and ‘It’s just a sophomore I met at the film club, haven't you said I should try to be part of something that didn’t involve frat parties?’

Well, at least it wasn’t a boyfriend, given the lack of dreamy sighs, giggles into the phone and late-night escapades. That was good. They already had enough problems to deal with and a new relationship so quickly was the same as asking for a ghostface to go for them again and Sam hadn’t been back in Tara’s life long enough to know how to deal with this part of being a big sister yet.

Sam had understood that she wouldn’t meet this mysterious person for a while, at least until her sister’s tantrum had passed, and between two shitty jobs and trying to keep a structured life being responsible for a bunch of teenagers in the big city, she couldn’t find it in herself to insist on the subject any further and get the risk of causing a fight. She thought it would be forgotten.

Now just imagine Sam's surprise when she came home one night after a long, exhausting shift, expecting to eat the leftover pizza she had hidden in the fridge and fall into a deep sleep, only to be knocked over by an noisy and strange dog with a piece of pizza in its mouth as soon as she opened the apartment door. Her pizza.

“Koda!” Someone called. Someone unfamiliar. It wasn’t just the dog, there was a stranger in her house.

Sam’s hand instinctively moves to reach for the taser hidden in her jacket when a pair of black-clad legs show up in her vision. Does Ghostface work with dogs now? She wonders in confusion for a moment, and has given up on the voice changer?

The only thing stopping her from tasing this potential killer in front of her is the pure bewilderment and Tara’s laughter filling the room.

“Oh my god,” the figure bends down, picking up the dog who turns out to be a very excited puppy, the pizza falling from its mouth and onto her shirt, getting it all over her, “I’m so sorry.”

It’s a girl, a face she’s never seen before, looking completely mortified.

“Hey, Sam,” Tara stops beside her, a barely hidden tone of satisfaction in her voice, “This is my friend. I thought you’d like to meet her.”

It's safe to say that Sam didn't like Tara's new friend at all.

“You didn’t think about telling me you were bringing someone?” Sam exclaimed, rubbing her temples wearily, “Especially that Lydia Deetz project right there? I almost shocked her in the middle of the hallway!”

Quinn shifted from where she was leaning against the counter in the small impromptu meeting and didn’t bother to hold back her laugh, “Nah, I think Tara would fit that role better.”

“Quinn,” Sam groaned exasperatedly.

“If I had told you you would have said no,” Tara shrugged.

“Yes! Because we don’t know her!”

It was quite awkward sitting on the couch in their living room less than five feet away from the kitchen and being able to hear every word spoken as if you weren't right there, with your messy dog ​​happily chewing on the sock on your ankle.

This wasn't the turn you expected your night to take when you decided to accept Tara's sudden invitation for a movie night, visiting her off-campus for the first time since you became friends.

You met her at the start of the school year, the day she showed up for a film club meeting before anyone else arrived, well, anyone except you. She seemed completely lost and suspicious, even though she was clearly struggling not to show it, which made you like her right away.

Getting attention and starting conversations was never really your thing, this whole club thing wasn't either, honestly, but you ended up being one of the last older members to join with most of the others having recently graduated and the responsibility of looking after the new freshmans gradually fell on you. Most of the time you kept to yourself, preferring the behind-the-scenes side of things to participating in the long-winded debates of high school teens obsessed with slashers and making Stab parodies, but you noticed the way Tara seemed desperate for any sense of normalcy beneath her laid-back facade and the whispers of murder that haunted her.

You took what seemed like a rabid kitten under your wing and ended up cornered by the personification of a Doberman because of it. Talk about doing good deeds and stepping out of your comfort zone. What a joke.

Tara’s older sister, Sam, if you got it right, stared at you with narrowed, suspicious eyes – just like Tara when you first approached her – towering over your figure that tried to look smaller than it actually was on the couch, as if she was trying to learn every little hidden detail about you.

“So…” you began hesitantly, wanting to break the awkward silence that had ensued, “you have such a beautiful house.”

“Aren’t you too old to hangout with a freshmen?" Sam cut in coldly, one eyebrow perfectly arched in distrust.

You sighed, this conversation sure started off very well, “I’m 23,” you cleared your throat, “Tara’s in the same club as me, and I’ve just been helping her with some classes I used to take when I first started here.”

You hear Tara’s distinct chuckle, clearly amused by your frustration, which doesn’t help your situation much. What a wonderful friend, indeed.

Sam hummed with fake indifference and the other two housemates watched the exchange intently, eyes darting between you like they were at a tennis match, amused by the sight of Sam trying to intimidate the poor unsuspecting twit that you were.

A great friend, for sure. Ugh, this is why you don’t sponsor obviously troubled kids.

It’s not like Sam Carpenter is really intimidating or scaring you out the way she seems to want to, she has bags under her eyes and a greasy pizza stain on her shirt and you’re a grown woman, for God’s sake! It’s just that it was extremely embarrassing to cause a scene like that, especially with someone who you really wanted to make a good first impression.

Interacting so much socially lately was becoming relatively exhausting and you expected it wouldn't become a thing, as you were feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything. You hoped this would be the last big meeting you had for a while. Tara had told you a lot about her sister, mainly about how it was a pain in the ass to always have someone hovering over her, but it was something you never took seriously because of the way she sounded when she talked about it, too loving for someone who hated the situation so much. No, Sam was important and Tara had insisted that you meet her after doing the same with the twins just a few days ago. You had carefully planned how it would happen, what clothes you would wear and what you would say and now your chance to make things right was ruined, the words seeming to have escaped you in a flash. You were reserved, quiet, small in the midst of so much hustle and bustle, used to watching everything go by from the safety of the shadows. Being a mouse was easy.

“Is that all you have to say?”

Less easy when caged with a lion.

“Look,” you tried again, silently squirming as your pup start sniffing Sam’s combat boots furiously as you stood to pick him up, “I really didn’t want to cause any trouble or misunderstanding, Tara called me earlier while I was walking this little guy and insisted it would be okay if I came over for a movie. I can leave now if you want to, I’m really sorry for… well, all of this.”

You noticed Sam's expression became conflicted, as if she didn't know exactly what to make of you standing in the middle of her living room without showing any threat and wasn't used to people actually listening to her on sight. Still, she wasn't going to give up that easily.

“Great,” Sam nodded, her voice sounding less firm, “go then.” She pointed directly at your dog, now sitting at her feet with its fluffy head tilted to the side in a guiltily innocent manner, “And make sure to take that pizza thief with you.”

(You swear he looked personally offended.)

“What? No!” Tara seemed to realize that her little game could backfire and came out from behind the counter in your defense.

“Tara—”

“Come on, Sam, it's movie night!” She stomped her foot loudly, “I refused the invite to Jason's party for that, we were marathoning all the Texas Chainsaw Massacres!”

You don’t even have to be good at reading people to know that Sam had lost that fight the moment Tara looked at her with pleading eyes, knowing that there was no way to blame her for simply doing what she asked.

That didn’t stop Sam from rolling her eyes and huffing in irritation.

“Fine,” she practically growled, shifting her attention back to you, “But I’m gonna keep an eye on you, so you better not act all smart and keep that fleabag away from me.”

“His name’s Koda.” You pointed out, before softening, “And thank you, I promise I’m not gonna—”

“Shush.”

Sam was sure this was all part of an act of yours, just the first step to infiltrate their lives and pull the rug out like others have done before, because no one in their right mind would sit quietly next to someone who nearly shocked and threatened them in many ways just a few minutes ago.

Especially if that someone is burning holes in your head with their eyes, like she's doing now.

Sam watches shamelessly and intrigued, shooting daggers at your figure as you lean back with Tara babbling enthusiastically between you, your puppy completely knocked out on her lap, oblivious to the sounds of death and fake blood spurting from the TV. She notices the way you effectively ignore her, responding to Tara’s remarks with genuine interest, even if your voice doesn’t match her enthusiasm.

You remained quiet beyond those moments and the tiredness along with your lack of sudden movements made Sam feel secure enough to leave the room and finally take a shower – because along with everything she never saw much fun in these movies like Tara –, warning you that it was better for everyone to finish the night when the movie ended.

(She also forced Quinn to take her place on the couch and promise to scream if anything happened. You didn't comment on that either.)

Sam only falls asleep when she hears the sounds of goodbyes coming from the living room and the door house being closed, finally relaxing after all the interaction, deciding that it was enough. You could have been at her house, but that doesn't mean she would let you come over again.

You come back, because of course Tara doesn’t give a damn about Sam’s warnings about being careful around strangers – incessantly claiming that you’re not a stranger – and there you are at the next game night that Chad insisted on making a tradition.

At least there’s no sign of the shirt-destroying furball this time and there are pizzas smelling good on the kitchen counter.

“‘Sup, Sam!” Chad greeted loudly as she walked through the door, waving excitedly from the couch, “We’re playin’ uno!”

Her eyes landed on you, who waved at her with a small, tight smile, awkwardly sandwiched between Anika and Ethan, the way you stood out among them so comical that Sam suppressed a snort. She decided to join in without much protest, someone responsible still had to watch you, after all.

Sam wouldn’t admit to anyone, absolutely anyone, that she was enjoying the evening, listening to the heated exchanges as everyone got competitive. Strangely, she noticed that you didn’t try to engage much in the conversation, just like the other night, seeming happy to just be there. She thought you had been withdrawn then because of her behavior towards you, but maybe you were just shy.

That made her raise an eyebrow, Tara didn’t usually embrace introverts. Actually, she had always been pretty popular even before Sam left, if she remembered correctly, so this was new. She felt a small piece of curiosity spark inside her instead of more mistrust as she expected and it disconcerted her.

“The whole point of the 7 card is that you're not supposed to talk, man!” Mindy throwing chips at Ethan interrupted Sam's flow of thoughts.

“This rule is stupid! The manual doesn't even mention it, read it for yourself!” Ethan shuffled the cards wildly – ​​everyone at the table had seen his hand – pointing, “And you’re talking too!”

“Whatever! Nobody reads the fuckin manual to play uno, Ethan!”

Tara groaned, “Guys, just shut up and everybody buys a card.”

“But that’s not how you play!”

She decided to abandon the game and all the fuss in favor of getting some air and a slice of pizza and was surprised to find that her favorite was still untouched, which was a miracle in such a crowded house.

“Tara said that you liked this flavor,” your voice coming from nearby startled her and Sam saw you gesture to the box in front of her, “My treat, for the other day.”

She cleared her throat hesitantly, “You didn’t have to.”

“I did,” you dismissed with a wider smile, “My dog ​​left you without dinner.”

Sam didn’t respond, but you leaned against the counter next to her anyway, picking at the dark polish on your nails casually, listening to your friends arguing in the background.

“Get tired of the crowd?” Sam asked, deciding that ignoring you wasn’t an option since you clearly weren’t leaving.

“Yeah,” you agreed, shrugging with an odd laugh, “I guess I’ve had enough socializing for one day.”

Sam wasn’t sure why she didn’t just send you away then, seizing the perfect chance to dismiss you like she’d wanted all along and avail everyone's presence to remind that you weren’t welcome, but that strange spark flared in her and made her smile unconsciously, more sincere than the previous tense ones.

“Oh, I know what you mean,” she agreed slowly.

Your expression brightens in surprise, as if you expected a cold, blunt rejection or maybe a slap (probably both) and Sam feels a bit guilty by it. Sighing, she waves you towards the apartment’s tiny balcony, silently inviting you to join her, to which you respond with a firm nod as you watch her unwind the chain on the sliding door – they keep everything locked up tight now – and follow her.

Sam swears she’s not doing this to be nice or anything, all she wants is to repay you for your politeness, that’s all.

The night breeze is refreshing and sends pleasant shivers down your arms and shoulders as Sam leans against the railing and the two of you fall silent. It’s pleasant, actually.

Sam takes a moment to look at you, like, really look at you for the first time since you met and her breath hitches.

Your relaxed features look cheerful and are well-emphasized by the makeup you’re wearing – she tries to search her memory and gets frustrated when she can’t remember if it’s the same style as the night you met – your hair blows a little in the wind and your clothes just fit. Every single thing about you seems to have been specially made to be this way, charming, beautiful.

Your elbow brushes hers in the small space as you lean in to better contemplate the dreary, empty New York sky and Sam’s skin is burning and she doesn’t understand why.

Sam didn’t realize, through all the haze of anger and suspicion and tantrum, until she was touching a pretty girl, that you were, in fact, a pretty girl.

Shit.

“You’re trying so hard not to like her that I’m getting embarrassed for you.”

It’s late. Everyone has already left, including you, who went early claiming you had to work the next morning. Tara should be in bed by now, but she’d be upset if Sam told her to do that, so she doesn’t say anything.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sam dismisses, packing up the last of the leftover pizza to put in the fridge.

“But you do,” Tara hums smugly, stifling a yawn, “Just admit that you were wrong and that I’ve made a friend who’s not a potential serial killer. And that you might have a crush on her. I saw you two on the balcony.”

“It wasn’t like that,” she grumbles, “And I wasn’t wrong for being worried that you brought home a stranger without telling me, even if she’s not dangerous.”

“Ha!” Tara points out, “So you admit she’s no danger.”

Sam sighs tiredly, bringing a hand up to massage her temple, “She can keep coming over for movie nights or whatever if that’s what you're asking me.”

Tara cheered, jumping up from where she was sitting on the counter to finally go to sleep. She stopped just before turning the corner to her room.

“Seriously though,” she caught Sam’s attention, “You guys have more in common then you might think, that’s why I like her. I think you could too, if you get to know her better.”

“That’s impossible, Tar,” Sam says weary, looking at her sister with the most done expression, “I don’t ‘get to know’ anyone, I already have all the people I need in my life.”

“Maybe you’ll be surprised,” she shrugged, “It would be good for you anyway.”

Sam's approval was all Tara needed to make you a regular fixture in their lives and make movie nights an official thing. Sam usually walks in when they're in full swing, with the two of you deep in conversation about the completely random movie you decided to watch that day, and now she greets you back instead of ignoring like she did before and you look happier every time she does it openly.

She finds excuses to wander around the living room and kitchen when she hears Tara pause the tv for whatever reason, just so she doesn't leave you unsupervised in their house – it was still too early to rule out all the care, after all. It ends up making her feel kind of ridiculous, because, hell, she shouldn't have to make excuses to wander around her own house! But you guys talk during these moments, sometimes.

Sam learns more about you as time goes on, and she tells herself that it's just gathering information, that you're not friends at all, but she finds herself soaking up every bit of detail. What are you majoring in, how long have you been in town, if you live close to campus like most students or if you have roommates like them.

(Actually, when she thinks about it now, Sam probably sounded more like a maniac trying to find out where you live, but at least you didn’t call her out on it.)

Then movie nights are joined by study sessions that Tara insists on having as her first week of finals approaches, and you manage to convince Sam to let you bring your puppy too so he won’t be alone for so many hours and she can act a little more normal around you and have a conversation that doesn’t sound like a job interview. You tell her about the movies you like – which consist of more than just an extensive list of slashers like she initially assumed – in a loud and excited tone instead of your usual repressed one, and it stirs something inside her, which leads to several other facts. Your favorite color, what kind of music you like, what you do when her sister isn't dragging you somewhere, and why you decided to adopt a dog so young when you already had so many other responsibilities.

“He helps me not feel alone,” you replied, looking deep into her eyes, “my roommate graduated last year and moved out. I guess I couldn’t stand coming home to empty houses, you know? And he’s my guard dog, he takes care of me and I take care of him. The little guy might be small but knows how to do damage.”

She could relate to that, in part.

And then you start asking too, suddenly and Sam finds herself with a dilemma after so long avoiding your attempts to get to know her. She’d rather remain closed off.

But a trade isn’t a fair trade unless she gives you something back, is it? And you’ve been quenching her thirst for knowledge for a long time now, you gave her a lot.

So, during one night when you insist on helping her make dinner, she confides in you – somewhat reluctantly – that she really enjoys cooking, especially healthier meals. She doesn't look at you, nor does she say it clearly but still, you listen and Sam is surprised when she finds herself speaking.

“You really should ask her out.”

And of course, Tara is always close enough to raise an eyebrow with a knowing look at her on practically every occasion.

“I've told you already, it's not like that.”

“You're cuddling her dog right now.”

“Just so he stays quiet and doesn't disturb you two! Shouldn't you be studying, by the way?”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying.”

Sam can almost, almost admit that you're her friend too.

(Though she kinda wished it were a little more than that.)

Movie nights evolve into sleepovers, because Sam argues that it’s simply too late and dangerous for you to come back alone and she feels embarrassed – and guilty as much – when Quinn brings up that it has always been dangerous and she didn’t mind letting you go before, when she didn’t care about you.

Now there are some of your clothes in a drawer Tara set aside for you just like a colorful food bowl in the living room for your dog – Mindy jokes that it's theirs now – and there’s rarely a day that goes by where she doesn’t see you.

And when you don’t come over, Tara makes sure to remind her of how anxious she looks waiting for a knock on the door and how she lights up when you greet her first when you finally arrive.

“I swear that now she comes here more to see you than me.”

“You’re imagining things.”

“Yeah, sure,” she huffs, “And when are you gonna make a move again?”

“Never, Tara.”

Sam hasn't heard a thing about you in days. Tara said yesterday that you ended up getting really busy with a college project, preparing a presentation that, her sister quotes, 'needs to be perfect because public speaking is horrible and there's a big chance I'll embarrass myself.'

It's not that Sam asked, it's just that she doesn't text you often and Tara thought it would be convenient to talk about it out loud when she was on the phone with Mindy.

Anyway, it doesn't really matter, it's not like you two are close. You are Tara's friend. If it weren't for her, you two wouldn't even have a reason to see each other. There's no reason to be so stressed.

But she misses you anyway. She's having a shitty day at her shitty job and everything seems to go by even slower because Sam knows that when she gets home at night you probably won't be on the couch waiting with the soft smile she's grown accustomed to looking forward and if she has to deal with another group of rude teenagers she'll freak out.

The sound of the bell ringing at the entrance draws Sam’s attention back to the counter and she ends up face to face with the person who has been on her mind all day.

“Sam!” you approached with a tired smile, your dog wagging his tail happily on a leash in one hand and a paper bag in the other, “I was looking for you.”

You'd never visited her at work before, she didn't even know you knew where it was, having only mentioned it in passing, but there you were, with the smile she wanted to see and bags under your eyes.

“Hi,” she cleared her throat, feeling her face heat up. Damn, she looked like a teen girl with a crush, “I didn't expect to see you here, what, uhm, what do you need?”

You snorted at her flustered attending voice. Seeing her show any kind of nervousness was very unusual.

“Tara called me today demanding I get out of the house for a bit and ‘touch some grass’, so I decided to bring this buddy along, he was begging me for a proper walk,” you shrugged, “And she asked me to bring your lunch.”

Sam paused at that, Tara definitely didn't make lunches for her, much less go to the trouble of delivering them like that.

“...Thank you,” she accepted the paper bag you held out delicately, eyeing the package suspiciously. You held back a giggle when she looked at you again, “Anything else?”

“Oh, um,” you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, obviously nervous, “I’m taking Koda to the park nearby and I thought maybe you’d like to come with us. If you can, of course.”

Sam couldn’t really, it was still a few hours before her shift ended at the coffee shop, but she didn’t want you to leave without the promise of seeing you again.

“Of course,” she found herself replying instead, “I can meet you there in a few minutes.”

She knew she’d made the right decision when you gifted her with one of your warm smiles.

“Okay! Nice,” you nod, absently twirling your dog’s leash around your fingers, startled by the sudden, loud bark he lets out at the delay, breaking the oblivious bubble you were in, “Alright, I should go before he starts trying to jump over the counter.”

Sam barely hears the sound of the bell announcing your departure over how loudly her heart pounds in her ears.

It takes a lot of willpower and her last pack of good cigarettes to convince her insufferable coworker — who’d watched the whole thing with a bored expression and loudly chewing gum while cleaning the coffee machine — to cover the rest of her shift. He ended up ordering her lunch too, thinking it might be something special, only to complain when he was met with a sad peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a carton of warm apple juice. Tara really didn’t cook… but then why had she done that?

(She laughed at him anyway.)

“You owe me, Carpenter,” he grumbled, taping a note to her arm that had fallen out of the package.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

Sam was out the door before he could change his mind.

Taking a deep breath of the damp autumn air, she picked up the yellow post-it note curiously, recognizing her sister’s handwriting immediately.

‘u looked so depressed lately that I

decided to send u a gift

DO something this time

good luck!!’

She knew. She fucking knew that smartass had set her up. Sam should have guessed it before. Tara would never let her get away with this without doing something with her own hands. At least she hadn’t brought Mindy into the scheme this time.

The park you had mentioned was more like a small square and with the rainy cold weather of the last few days, it was pretty empty. Sam could spot you without difficulty, sitting on one of the few benches watching the scenery and she made her presence known when she got close enough.

“Can he even sit still sometimes?” Sam asked, hands in her bomber jacket pockets, pointing with her chin at the dog playing alone on the grass. You moved a little so she could sit next to you and subtly moved closer when she did.

“It rained last night and he's a big fan of puddles,” you chuckled, “I guess he's just excited, we haven't been out much lately.”

He wasn't the puppy he'd been when Sam had first seen him a few months ago and the sight of him running around the trees chasing flowers and stray twigs was actually quite funny.

“He's so covered in mud that it looks like a bear.”

“Well, his name's Koda,” you pointed out amusedly, “I would have called him Pongo but he always looked more like a small bear than a dalmatian anyway.”

She snorted, “If you say so.”

Sam couldn't remember a time when she felt so relaxed, with the weight of your shoulder resting against hers, enjoying the weather of the early season, the ground covered in orange and yellow leaves framing your surroundings.

She couldn't stop the restlessness she felt inside her chest, watching your profile. Feeling warm inside, but also shivering with a terrible fear of ruining everything. Do something, do something, do something echoing like a mantra in her head.

Sam took a deep breath. She'd faced murderers before, for God's sake! She could be braver than that.

"So..." She coughed, "Tara set this up, you know? The lunch stuff and everything."

You turned your attention to Sam, raising an eyebrow with a confused look.

"She did?" You asked, "Why would she do that?"

It's now or never, Carpenter. Focus.

“She did it so I could see you,” she looked away, “Because I missed you. Because I…” She felt your hand reach for hers and noticed a fallen leaf on your shoulder.

“Because you…?” your voice echoed anxious. She could do this. She's going to do this.

“I—”

A loud howl scared the two of you and you turned to see Koda behind a pile of leaves, pupils dilated and jumping up and down.

“Oh no.”

“What?” She stammered.

“He saw a pigeon.”

You see, Sam is not a pet person. She has only had one guinea pig her entire life and only before her father left and a 6-year-old Tara let it escape from its cage never to be seen again – poor Darwin would always be remembered – she does not know how to handle dogs, much less big, excitable ones like yours.

Yet she grabs the leash from your hands when you finally reach your dog who won't stop barking at a tree and ignores your warnings that he is heavy and strong, Sam, it will end up dragging you away and tries to gently pull him to convince him to let go so you can get out of there. Because she is big and strong and she wants to show you that she can handle a mere happy dog.

He acknowledges her like she wanted and also drags her like you said he would.

This manages to surprise her more than the first stab wound she took, how one minute she’s standing still, telling your silly dog ​​to walk in a confident condescending tone, and the next she’s running at full speed through the trees and puddles of the park, your worried voice ringing behind her, as does your laughter.

“Sam!” you exclaimed from a distance, hands cupped around your mouth and dark red scarf falling from your neck, “You need to stop!”

She does stop, yes, but only after your dog has already circled her and Sam must be a ridiculous sight with a colorful leash wrapped around her legs and a dog panting with its tongue out next to her.

“Oh my god,” you lean in closer, unable to hide the amusement in your voice, “Are you okay?”

Sam huffed, feeling a strand of hair fall across her face: “A little help would be appreciated.”

“Sure,” you laughed, reaching out to carefully untangle it, “Maybe I should call him Pongo after all.”

She rolled her eyes: “Don’t mock me.”

“I’m not mocking you, it’s just cute.”

Sam opened her mouth to retort, only to realize how close you two were, with your hands resting on her shoulders to steady her and your faces just inches apart, your breath tickling her skin. You seemed to realize the same thing, tongue coming out to wet your lips, your gaze fixed on her mouth.

Do something. Do something. Do something.

She finally does something. She kisses you.

It's all a mix of sensations, she feels when you sigh, breathing through your nose in surprise and satisfaction, she feels where your hands tighten on the fabric of her jacket and tastes you, warm lips contrasting with the cold skin of your cheeks, with traces of coffee, lipstick and something else so undeniably you that Sam swears her heart might stop.

You pull apart hesitantly, breathing fast, noses touching, eyes shining, and she feels herself falling, literally. Your dog jumps on your waist, demanding to be petted, and you fall, taking Sam with you.

Landing in a pile of leaves is more uncomfortable than the movies make it out to be, but Sam can’t find it in herself to protest when you’re the one on top of her. She smiles and you laugh out loud. She didn’t mess up.

“You’re covered in leaves,” you say, running your fingers through her hair, “And your face is smeared with black lipstick.”

She scoffs, “I wonder who’s responsible for that.”

“He is,” you point innocently at the dog standing next to you.

Sam rolls her eyes, but cups your face with her cold hands to pull you close again, and the second kiss she gives you is just as magical as the first.

Tara doesn’t expect to find a dog taking up the entire couch for the first time in days when she comes back from Chad’s dorm after sending you off on a fake mission to find her sister. Yet, hours later, there it is, with one of the sneakers she forgot to put away when she got home from class stuck in his mouth and trails of mud and leaves across the room.

“C’mon, man, that’s not a toy!”

She hears a laugh and finds herself face to face with Sam, looking completely filthy despite the sound of the shower running in the hallway and Tara knows Quinn isn’t home yet. Oh.

“So, you finally did something?”

Sam nods solemnly, pointing to the dark kiss etched into her jaw.

“I did.”

[pshbites]

LOVE ON AiR: 39. YNXOXO VLOG: ice skating | grwm & vlog, w/ a special guest!

WARNiNGS » profanity, ynhoon cuteness, kissing, mentions of falling (not proofread)

wc: 1.4k

video desc: hi babes, welcome back to my bubble! today i filmed a grwm and vlog with a special someone, watch to find out who! we went ice skating and he taught me how to skate! hope you enjoy! 

you propped your camera up, smiling at it. “hi guys, welcome back to my bubble” you leaned closer to your mirror to fix up your makeup, blending out your products. “today i am going to be ice skating, i've never been so this should be fun” you set your beauty blender down, moving to the next step of your routine. 

“small update: obviously as you all know i moved into a new apartment, but aside from that this place is super nice, you know it’s like such a great community and really pretty” you spoke to the camera, applying your blush as well as your bronzer. as you spoke your phone buzzed, you peaked over and smiled at sunghoons text. 

you kept smiling, continuing to do your makeup. “i wanna go for like a natural look today, because i'm pretty sure we’re just going ice skating then hanging out for the rest of the day” it was clear to the camera that you had this glow on your face, of course the audience wouldn’t know yet, but it was of happiness. 

that was nothing less of the truth, you and sunghoon were happy. everything was finally coming to full circle after a couple months of hardship and it was all worth it, out of that traumatic experience you gained a loving and doting boyfriend, as well as amazing friends. what more could a girl want? 

you finished your makeup off with setting spray, hearing your apartment door open, you smiled. you fanned your face dry, then began to do your mascara. you heard sunghoon approaching your room and peaking in the door. you smiled when you saw him, your face clearly brightening up. 

“hi pretty” he said, walking closer to you to kiss the top of your head, he was clearly in the frame now but neither of you cared. “hi hoon, i’m just finishing up my makeup and then i’ll change” you replied, smiling up at him. he nodded and sat down on your bed, watching you through the mirror as you did your finishing touches on your makeup. you made eye contact with him and smiled. 

you stood up from your vanity, catching notice of how sunghoons eyes followed your figure. you pushed his shoulder playfully, “quit it you weirdo” you spoke, not being able to hold back your smile. “i’m the weirdo? don’t get me started on your weird food combos” he replied, making you roll your eyes as you shut the door to the bathroom. 

sunghoon walked over to your vanity, picking up the camera now. “i’m taking her ice skating i don’t know if she told you guys” he stared into the camera, not knowing what else to say. it was silent for a couple seconds until you got out of the bathroom. sunghoons face brightened and he turned the camera to show off your outfit. “you look so pretty” he mumbled, smiling as he saw you in the cameras viewfinder. 

“it’s just a sweater and leggings hoon” you sighed out, still smiling at the compliment. “yeah but i think you look so pretty no matter what” he looked at you, his eyes twinkling. you cupped his face, patting it. “cmon let’s go, and give me the camera silly” he smiled, handing you the camera and following you out of the room. you looked into the camera smiling, “hoons gonna drive us there so i will see you guys when we’re at the rink!” you waved to the camera and shut it off. 

you propped up the camera, moving back to check if it doesn’t fall. once you saw that it was stable you smiled, “we’re on the rink!!” you exclaimed, balancing yourself on the skates. sunghoon was behind you in case you fell. “you’re saying that as if i didn’t hold your hand to get you on here” sunghoon smiled, holding back a laugh. you glared at him for a couple seconds then looked at the camera. 

“i’m gonna leave you guys over there because holding a camera and skating seems hard” you said, slowly trying to skate. sunghoon came up behind you, holding the small of your back. “don’t walk, just try and glide” he mumbled, trying to steady you. “yeah i don’t know how to do that” you mumbled back, feeling the warmth of his hand on your back. you try moving forward and almost fall back, sunghoon held you by your hip, catching you. 

“maybe lets try this” you feel his hand leave your hip and he skates in front of you for a demonstration. currently the camera can see both you and sunghoon, your side profiles. “just watch, move with your legs not your feet. it’s not like walking just relax and glide” he demonstrated, moving slowly in front of you. you nodded, trying his method. your face brightened as you skated forward with ease, sunghoons hands reaching out to hold yours in case you fell. he smiled at your reaction. 

“okay now, push with your knees to skate farther” he spoke, backing away to show you. sunghoon skated a little bit farther from you and stopped, waiting for you to come his way. you pursed your lips and skated towards him, losing your balance once you got closed, making him reach out and grab your arm. “look i did it!” you looked up at him, smiling. he giggled seeing your expression. “you’re a natural pretty” he tilted his head, still smiling. 

you and sunghoon skated back to where the camera was, you picking it up. “i sort of got the hang of it so now lets just skate!” you smiled at the camera, the two of you skating slowly but surely now. sunghoon skated in front of you, skating backwards. you turned the camera to face him and sighed. “he’s just showing off now” you mumbled and he smiled, “ yeah but you like it” he slowed down to get back in pace with you. 

soon enough you two got to another corner of the rink and you propped the camera up. “okay now teach me to like do a spin” you looked at him and he only smiled, sunghoon nodded and stood in front of you, for another demonstration. “think of it like as a pirouette, just steady yourself and push yourself off from your foot.” sunghoon said, moving back so he could show you a spin. you stared at him, jaw dropped as he spun perfectly. “this isn’t fair” you groaned, making him laugh. “just try, it'll be fine” he reassured you, smiling. 

he moved back so you had room and nodded at you, as if saying you’ll be okay. you skated forward and attempted a spin but instead, lost your balance. you grabbed sunghoons arms which then resulted in the two of you to fall, you on top of him. you picked your head up and the two of you started laughing. you were still the camera frame as you laid basically on top of him. 

you kept laughing for a couple minutes, then both of you sighing out. sunghoon reached his hand to your face, moving a couple stray hairs out of your way. he stared at you like this for a while, down to your lips, then at your eyes again. “can i kiss you?” he breathed out, feeling like his heart was in his throat. you nodded, feeling him lean closer to you. he broke the gap and attached his lips to yours.

the kiss was soft and slow, his lips were just as you imagined, soft. he was gentle with his touch, his hand now moving to the back of your neck. sunghoon felt you smiling and his heart melted. you were just so so sweet. you pulled back, now looking at him. the two of you smiled and blushed like a couple of teenagers.

you attempted to stand up, sunghoon stood up as well, quick to give you a helping hand. the two of you turned around to see the camera which you coincidentally forgot about. you both looked at each other and nervously laughed. “well guys, fun’s over now that I fell” you skated toward the camera, picking it up. sunghoon right behind you. “thanks for joining me in my bubble, till next time!” you and sunghoon both waved bye to the camera. 

previous masterlist next

AUTHORS NOTE » heheh double update today pls like n reblog!! <3

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[luvtak]

sandcastles, lfx x reader

✧ genre/ tw f2l <3!! sugary sweet fluff, angsty confessions, a couple pet names, a very sweet kiss, and felix and mc being unbearably down bad for each other, unedited <3

✧ w/c 2586

✧ a/n okay so i am writing this at 2 am after basically throwing this up, I've had this idea in my head for a couple days and finally had time to execute it, I am a sucker for f2l!felix and I hope you enjoy this very sweet confession, as well as the fun summery vibes I hoped to embrace the story in, happy reading! mwah <3!!

The first time you saw him you thought he was a daydream, sun bright and shiny–a made up boy for a lazy sunday afternoon. He came with golden hour, everything orange and yellow and the floral july smell was creeping around you. At twelve, you’d never seen a boy so sure of himself or so kind. Usually, the boys at school were listlessly mean or energetically cruel–ever patient in their mission to bother you. But here was Felix, funny and sweet and asking to be your friend. 

The summer passed in oceanfront days and popsicle covered nights, pop songs on the radio as you talked from the backseat. Goofy and glamorous months spent together as you awaited Fall. You remember those days like the lines of your palm, linen sheets wrapped around your bodies as you told scary stories and held each other to ward off nightmares. Some days, going to bed with the sun still high in the sky–naps on the beach with his head on your tummy. 

Felix’s sister’s hands in yours while you played ring around the rosie, giggles loud when you let go. The little girl’s voices as they yelled they all fall down! And Felix's own little voice asking if you were all okay, always worried about skinned knees and chipped nail polish. Childhood flashed with bandaid kisses and sandy shoes, freckled skin and ocean covered giggles. 

You’d never forget when you realized he was beautiful–stepping out of the ocean like Aphrodite herself, a boy born from sunshine and seafoam. His wide eyes were crinkled with sun, surely adding more stars to his golden skin, and he was smiling. Smiling at you of all things, bright and incandescent Felix grinning at you like the happiest man on earth. 

You think of that boy now as he sits next to you, watching the movie with an almost exaggerated delight. Taking in the action and the humor like someone just shown technicolor after a life of black and white. He’s grown up so much, grown up and away from you as you’ve gotten older. Those summer nights are just an origin story for who he is now, a big bright star like you always knew him to be. 

As his very first fan, you always saw in him this man he could become, but sometimes under the cover of midnight you selfishly wished you could have kept him to yourself. He was always just yours; until he wasn’t… Always your north star, leading you on your journey since you were just a little thing, and now he’s that to thousands of people–none of them knowing he was yours first. 

If you told him this he’d giggle up a storm and tell you he was still yours, but he wasn’t, not really… not in the way you wanted him to be. How could you tell him you loved him when in an instant he became bigger than you or any childhood wish. 

“Silly, why aren’t you watching the movie? It’s the best part!” eyes gleaming and mouth pouty, Felix looks so pretty in the tv light, “I know we’ve seen this one like a billion times, but that doesn’t mean you can’t pay attention.” He huffs, undeniably pretending to be annoyed with you. He can’t really, couldn’t even if he wanted to. You’re just so dear to him, one half of his heart, and he could never attribute any negative feeling to you, even if you deserved it. 

When he came home and saw you, more grown up and more beautiful than his phone screen allowed, he couldn’t believe he ever left you. He was so excited to watch your movie together, and while Ponyo had lost the astonishment of childhood, it still held its charm. The film was the background of so many childhood memories–putting it on after midnight nightmares or days spent sick in bed; children versions of you wrapped up and watching every sleepover. 

It was silly, he had you there right next to him, but he still missed you until the movie was on, and here you were not watching it. 

“Sorry, Lix, I just can’t believe you’re actually here.” your voice trembles a little, hiding the true emotions and fear that he’ll find you out. He would never stop being your friend just because you had a little crush on him, could never abandon you for something so little as a flutter in your tummy. But this wasn’t just a crush or a flutter, this was a stampede. You’d been in love with him for so long now, kept it hidden away in teenage diaries and grown up journals. A secret between you and the moon. You could never be sure how he’d take it, that for years now you’d been cowardly and afraid of him, a boy so brave he conquered his dreams. 

“Well, believe it baby! And watch the movie… or else…” He said it in a funny voice, and even though you knew he meant well, the pet name pushed an ugly feeling in your gut. 

Quietly and painfully you looked back to the screen, avoiding the way you can feel his body breathe next to you. For so long you missed this, the knowledge that your best friend was next to you, but now you think he should go home. Back to Seoul where he doesn’t hurt you by being him, sunshiney and starlit him. “Hey, seriously, are you okay? Where’d you go?” Felix is genuinely worried now, a sinister feeling arising in his chest that you’re not okay, and that it’s because of him. 

Sure, he’s been gone a lot the last couple of years, but he never forgot the way your eyes got misty before you cried. He grew up alongside you, nursed bloody knuckles and broken hearts and he could feel when you were sad–knew like the back of his hand when you were devastated and hiding it, but was this just because you missed him? 

“I’m fine, star boy, I just always get a little sad when I watch Ponyo. You remember don’t you? The way I would cry and cry when Sasuke promises to love and take care of her?” you mutter, softly without any conviction, and while the boy knows this to be true, he can’t help but notice your fidgety hands and the way you won’t look at him. 

You’re so worried, crushed beyond belief that one night home and he’ll figure you out. You could never keep a secret from him, running to tell him as soon as someone told you a whisper of hidden truth. Since you were twelve you told him all your innerworkings and private feelings, all but this one. It was easy when he was gone, easy to train your voice to sound happy over the phone, but you couldn’t hide anything with his eyes so close to you. 

Shoulder to shoulder you sat on the sofa you grew up on, right in this position with this beautiful boy. Watching this movie at 12 and 15, holding hands to ward against scary movie monsters. You couldn’t keep this secret here. 

“You’re a shitty liar, Y/n, is it some boy? Do I have to defend your honor?” it was so silly to him, you were so silly. How could he think any other boy mattered to you but him? Him with his golden hair and bright eyes, star studded cheeks smiling at you in the sunshine. 

You would never forgive yourself for that day on the beach. The day he became more than Felix, your best friend. You used to gag when your parents teased you about him, winced when one of your girls would say you looked cute together, and then all it took was the sun hitting him just right. 

You would never forgive yourself for this night either, you had to tell him. Had to make sure he knew it didn’t matter if he couldn’t feel the same. Who were you other than his friend? He was an angel and you were just someone he knew before he ascended. 

“Yeah, I guess. Some boy who I just can’t get out of my head.” 

“Oh, my silly sweetheart, is he devastatingly handsome.” he was giggling, the way he always did when you brought up boys to him, like it was ridiculous you would think a boy was cute. 

“I think so, he’s handsome and sweet, and I’ve never known anyone like him.” 

“This sounds intense, Y/nie, you must really like him…” 

“Yeah, you could say that.” 

You can’t help but notice his body language shifting, turning inward and hesitant. His voice got quieter too, shifting back into his normal voice. You wonder if you transferred some of your fear to him, then dismiss the thought–your Felix has always been brave. 

The movie still plays, little kid voices filling the otherwise silent room. The picture can be seen in his eyes, lighting the dark with bright oranges and blues. They're looking at you, and some tiny part of you can tell he seems sad. That piece of you that always knows how he’s feeling; attuned even when he’s in South Korea and you feel with all parts of you that you need to send a message to cheer him up. 

You feel that now, and reach out to take his hand, calloused and warm in yours. 

You stay like that for a while, finishing the film hand in hand like you did when you were both still small. Until finally, he asks so quietly you can barely hear him, 

“Do you like him more than me?” 

Shocked, you can’t help but let out a surprised laugh, which stuns Felix enough to pull his hand from yours–rubbing with his other hand where yours touched. He’s hurting, and you’re laughing at him, and this is enough to pull all of his bravery into you. Deep breathe in and out until you are sure every ounce of courage he’s ever had is running through your veins. You need to tell him, and even if he never speaks to you again, it's better than if he never knew he spins your whole world around. 

“Oh my god, Felix, it is you.” it comes out in a breath, faster than you’ve ever said anything and more relieving than any sentence you’ve rattled out before. The tears you’ve been fighting off all night come tumbling down, cascading over your cheeks with reckless abandon into your shaky hands. He’s silent for so long, barely even moving from his place next to you. The only indication he’s still hear the shaky breaths he’s releasing, and still you don’t look at him.

You’re waiting for him to leave, to walk out the door and go home, waiting for him to walk out of your life and back into his place in the sky, when finally you feel his hand on your wrist. His hold is so delicate, nervous as he moves your hands from your face and can finally see your eyes. Eyes sad and exhausted and so familiar to him, even through the tears their lovely–a reminder of home and unconditional love, and growing up. He can’t believe you would like him, Him with all his idiosyncrasies and softheartedness, you were so beautiful and so strong and you liked him. Thought he was handsome and sweet, you’d never known anyone like him… 

How long could this have been going on, how could he have been living never knowing you felt this way? Never knowing he felt it too, not just butterflies in his belly, but falcons, wings so strong and so big they started hurricanes. 

He looked at you like he always did, like you were the most important thing in the room. Eyes on yours and a smile of disbelief rising on his face. Slowly, without any reservations he brought his forehead to yours, looking down at you in all your snotty glory and lifting a hand to swipe at the falling tears. His voice is a whisper, deep and familiar, the same voice he used to tell stories and secrets, 

“It’s me? You promise?” 

“It’s always been you, Felix, how could it be anyone else?” 

He shudders, the hand sitting atop your cheek bone falling to your neck before he moves closer, settling his lips next to yours. Eyes lifting in a silent question, is this okay? With a nod and a close of your eyes he’s leaning in, moving to kiss you with all the desperation the moment requires. His tongue wiping up all the fallen tears as his lips moved with yours–when you were children he always kissed your wounds better, sweet pecks over bandaids and foreheads, and here he was now fixing up a broken heart–putting it back together. 

When he comes back up for air his eyes settle over your frame, flushed and hair messy from his hands, and he smiles. He’s loved you since he was a boy, since you asked to build that sand castle, 12 years old and braver than anyone he’s ever known. He’s loved you through teenage tantrums and silly crushes, it’s always been you. 

“We’ve been so silly, sweetheart.” he finally gets out, laughing at the impossibility of it all. The one secret you kept from each other being the same. Like always, exactly on the same page–telling the same story over and over again until you met in the middle. “When did you know? When did you know you loved me?” 

He’s so happy, you can feel it in the way he’s holding you, in the way his hands haven’t left your skin since they arrived. You can’t believe it, this beautiful boy is holding you. 

“That day you told me you were gonna audition… you came from the sea smiling and covered in sunshine, and I saw you for the first time–larger than life, my dream.” 

His eyes closed, and then he laughed. A great big wonderful laugh that took him away from you, falling onto his back with happy tears streaming. It was such a lovely sound you couldn’t help but join in, giggling with him even if you didn’t know why. 

When he finally speaks again his voice is still twinged with laughter, breathless and happy when he says, “You were so late” pausing to laugh, “I loved you since we were 12, you were covered in sand and I was in love.” 

You move to him quickly, settling your body on top of his as gently as you could manage, and you take in his happy face. This is what he looks like in love, not any different than he’s ever looked, but the shock of it–the fact that it’s you who he loves and is loved in return makes you want to cry again. 

This is where home is, here in his arms with your movie playing, smiling at each other in awe. There's so many moments you can share with him now, moments you shared with the moon and shooting stars, things you never thought you could tell him. Days and weeks holding a secret that he carried too. How silly you’ve both been, to deny what everyone has told you since you were children–two humans made for each other, sculpted out of the same sand. Lives entwined since that day on the beach when you asked him to build a sandcastle, how funny looking back, that you never did.

© LUVTAK 2024

[redgoldsparks]

I recently had the opportunity to attend a screening of the documentary No Straight Lines: The Rise of Queer Comics (in which I have a 30 second cameo appearance) hosted by my friend and fellow cartoonist Shay Mirk. They made this wonderful interactive zine for the attendees to fill out as we watched the film. Because I've seen the film twice before, I spent a lot of the time really going all out in my zine-doodling. I'm really happy with the result! Transcript below the cut. The all-caps writing is Shay and the mixed lower case writing is mine.

instagram / patreon / portfolio / etsy / my book / redbubble

Page 1 (cover): I watched the movie No Straight Lines: The Rise of Queer Comics and all I got was this silly zine! 

Page 2: If I started a queer comix magazine, it would be called: GENDER QUEER: PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE

Page 3: Portrait of me as an underground comix artist in the 1970s (portrait of Maia looking like an Oscar Wilde flower child)

Page 4: Quotes I loved from the movie: 

"I didn't know who would read this weird book." -Alison Bechdel

"I felt so embraced by the queer comics community." -Rupert Kinnard

"A lesser man would need a hammer." -Scott (Rupert's partner)

"Queer comics have created space for complexity." -Ajuan Mance 

Page 5: One thing I learned: 

"The movie is just as good the 3rd time!" -Maia 

Page 6: My gender identity is (check all that apply): 

_ Blob

_ Frog

_ Unknowable cloud of darkness

_ (fill in your own): Glam, gay, space, wizard, elf! (Drawing of Maia in a rainbow wizard hat, starry vest, knee length pants, striped socks, pointed purple shoes and waist length cape)

Page 7: Here is a gift I would like to give Alison Bechdel: The ability to teleport (this is also the gift I want so I can live rurally but visit my friends!) (Drawing of the planet earth with teleportation lines crisscrossing it)

Page 8: No one knows what LGBTQIA actually stands for... (fill in your own): 

Let's 

Go 

Back 

To 

Queer Utopia Land 

In our 

Amazing spaceship! 

(Drawing of a cute spaceship in a sky full of stars)

[lyralit]

4.1.24 - the importance of learning new things

As much as I think academic & work focus is incredibly important going into the new year, one of my other goals is to practice doing more: to learn all of the things I want to do, in addition to work, in addition to writing. I want to know how to do thousands of little things, and I think the longer we wait, the less likely we are to do them.

Picking up a new hobby doesn't have to be buying a dozen textbooks and spending hundreds of dollars on lessons because you might have the slightest interest: it can be from whatever you have here, now, and you'll never learn if you don't get started.

Some of the things I've been getting into (as I've mentioned before) are baking & crocheting. it just feels so cozy and nice & I love the idea of comfort.

here is a list of things I want to / you should try that's new!

learning a new language. fifteen minutes a day, I kid you not. I'm learning latin on duolingo and I don't ever think about it, but when I do it (25 day streak 💪🏻), I'm starting to notice my improvements

consuming good media. and that's not scrolling for half an hour on tumblr. it's books—deep ones and silly ones and ones about romance and dragons and apocalypses. it's movies! I watched keira knightley's pride and prejudice twice in the last few months, and also three men and a baby which is something I never thought I would watch, but it was quite funny I think. and I learn from it: I cannot write humour or romance for the life of me, so it's basically studying to write (is the self-gaslighting too evident?)

learning to crochet. I made a silly little headband today, after scrolling through pinterest and desperately wanting one. I started crocheting in december to give as gifts (I completed none of my wips, much like when I write) and used the tools I had around me: an old rainbow loom hook and whatever string I could find. now I'm proud to say I can read somewhat fluently crochet acronyms.

baking. I keep saying this. I know. but when I tell you a two years ago I was exploding cupcakes in the oven and last month I made bakery-style cookies...I made bread! a loaf of bread! (in a bread machine, but it's so good and I instantly made another. there is one in the bread machine right now). honestly it just made me feel that much better about improvement, and trying new things, and that is the mindset I want for the new year.

learning to code. in all honesty, I never thought I was a compsci - engineer kind of person. then this year, out of sudden (masterminded) urges, I joined a bunch of tech and robotics initiatives, and maybe it's the sense of community (I can rejoice in finding another nerdy group) but now I am happily chauffeuring myself to these meetings 4h a week. I'm looking into pursuing more into the fields of eng and science. and I'm learning some code from one of the friends I've made!

starting a blog. ...I know most of the people who linger around my blog stay for the writing content (the last posts have turned this writerblr into a digital diary, and I'm only half sorry for that). but since I've joined tumblr (almost three years ago now!) I've got to meet so many wonderful people (including you!) and want to try so many things.

and I get it. it's overwhelming. so here are some starting goals that maybe I'll try also.

start doing art. -> make a card for someone as a gift.

learn a new sport & start exercising. (I'm trying out track & field in the spring, so stay tuned to figure out how that goes) -> see if someone will come play ball with you. do 1 or 2 youtube workout videos a week.

film videos of your daily life. it doesn't need to be for posting! -> edit together clips you've taken for a last year recape.

start a scrapbook. -> print out photos and dig up construction paper. decorate a page.

make a poetry journal. -> go on pinterest to read poetry! pin styles you like and set fifteen minutes to writing.

make a regular journal! -> write once a day. just try: goals for the day in the morning, or a recap at night.

try your hand at gardening. -> research plants that grow well in your region. see if any of the seeds you may have at home are useful. water your lawn. buy a plant and try to keep it alive (set reminders, leave it in front of your sink)

learn to make candles. -> watch a youtube tutorial. see if you can play around with candles you already have.

play chess. -> see if someone will play chess with you. no? chess.com is right there. go make an account. go find a stranger.

learn to play an instrument off youtube. -> maybe you have a piano sitting around, or a guitar you've never touched. you don't even need to master it. pick a song you like and google that. no instrument? maybe there's a way to play drums with home items.

go for a run. -> once a week. a set time. just shoes and the outdoors. too cold? go to a gym and use a treadmill. maybe that's not possible? skip rope.

start / join a book club. -> just you, or some close friends, or people online. a book a month. talk about it.

** on that note, would anyone like to join a tumblr book club? slide into my asks and maybe we can get a blog list!

thank you for reading again <3 until next time.

k.

[abiiors]

To Build A Home

Day 6 of Matty's Birthday Bash! I've never done a headcanon before so I'm really sorry if this is rambly and all over the place

Series Masterlist / the rest of them will be in the reblogged post

minors dni

Saturday: 34 headcanons for 34 years of Matty Healy

In the beginning, there would be so much shameless flirting and rockstar charm he uses to whisk you off your feet. 

It starts off a bit clunky; he is away half the time and worried that you might find it to be a deal breaker. But he’s pleasantly surprised and eternally grateful when you turn up time and time again.

There’s always that nervous feeling in his gut that this is the date he ends up being ghosted, that this is the phone call where you dump him for not being enough. But each time it doesn’t happen and he lets himself hope more and more.

By the third, fourth, fifth time his friends tease him for being whipped, for always getting excited when a text comes through. But they could not be happier at the sight of his bright smile, at the way his eyes light up.

He has a small, tight circle of friends. He would really appreciate someone who seamlessly integrates themselves into it. Not just as his partner but also a friend to his friends.

He pretends to be offended when they take your side over his but secretly he beams with pride every time. His girl, his partner, is not just important to him but important to the people he holds dear.

Then there are moments that are permanently seared into his brain. He remembers coming home one evening and finding you there, waiting to surprise him with dinner and he thinks how he wants to come home to this every single day. To the smell of warm food and your perfume, to sweet music and soft laughter. 

This feels a bit like a beginning of a film to him; your warm body next to his in the white sheets. Sunlight streaming in as the room fills with your giggles because he cannot keep his hands off you. But he’s not worried about this being taken away from him. He believes wholeheartedly that you are his happy ending. 

The first time you say I love you to him, he spends the night on his knees worshipping. And then he spends the morning after counting his blessings. He doesn’t believe in the existence of God, that’s for sure but in his heart, he knows you were made for him.

‘Live here, share my house with me, make it a home,’ he speaks in a hushed voice when you wake up and melts completely at the excited look on your face. There are several whoops of joy once you finally say yes. 

And years later when he gets down on one knee, tears in his eyes, it’s your turn to whoop in joy and say yes. He thinks this is his favourite sound in the world.

Move-in day is chaos. He has to drag his friends over with a promise of free pizza and beer. Half the day flies away going down memory lane. The other half is filled with childish antics and silly fights. These are the golden years of his life, and no, it’s not too soon to say that. 

And there is a maple tree in the garden he cherishes with all his heart. Most days when he finds you reading under it, it makes his heart flutter because it’s sacred to him that his favourite place is also your favourite place. 

There are highs but there are also the lows. There are days when his fairytale dims a bit, when you get into silly fights and arguments. But he refuses to let you go to bed angry. He would rather say ‘I’m sorry’ till the words lose all their meaning to him than letting you sleep in one corner of the bed and away from his arms. 

His heart breaks at even the slightest hint of tears in your eyes. If the reason is someone else then he will find every possible way to make sure that person knows not to fuck with you. If the reason is him, he will grovel and apologise till you laugh and give him a kiss on the nose. That night he sleeps with an extra tight hold around you. Perhaps that night he realises how quickly this could all crumble. 

But his heart soars in his chest when you bring him breakfast in bed the next morning. A true sign that all is forgiven, that you still love him just the same and one silly fight doesn’t change it. 

Let’s not even talk about him being mad at you. He’s utterly incapable of it. He can be annoyed for a bit but then he sees your pout and hears you say sorry and suddenly he doesn’t remember why he was annoyed, to begin with. 

[spider-man-199999]

Pacifier pt 3

pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!Reader;

word count: 5K

part1 part2

warnings: mentions of sex ; Peter is younger than the reader, but still 18. Reader is around 20. Peter is trying to pin reader even though he is younger.

summary: In this one you’re hired as Morgan’s babysitter (and low-key underpaid Stark!assistant). Looking after a little girl isn’t too hard, but looking after her “big bother” as well, definitely is.

an: Peter and reader are just Tony's kids at this point. I've never really written anything about people actually being in a relationship so apologies if it's kinda sucky.

"No, we're not making an official Avengers tik-tok account, forget it." You told Peter, who had been begging you for days now.

"But it's going to be soo good! People will see the silly, goofie side of everyone and that way we can build more trust!"

"Pepper, please back me up here!"

"Peter actually has a point." Pepper said.

All of you were sitting at the dinner table, it was the first family dinner since the Starks had come back from their vacation.

"Tony, please!" you looked at him, begging him to support you this time. "Do you seriously think anyone would want to participate in supid dance trends or prank wars?"

"I'm a great dancer!" Tony said, he was taking Peter's side to mess with you.

"I cannot believe this is actually about to happen. Imagine making Steve do a tik-tok dance. Or anyone for that matter. Imagine Tony doing the makarena in the iron suit!"

"It's going to be hilarious, exactly my point!" Peter whined, drinking some of the orange juice he had poured for himself.

"I'm not doing the makarena, I have a daughter!''

"Should have thought about it before backing up Spider-man on that one!"

"Should have thought about it before back up Spider-man on that one!" Tony mocked your tone "The world should see what these hips can do! We're definitely making a tik-tok account now!"

Your "relationship" with Peter was still in the closet, since the first month wasn’t over, you didn't really feel comfortable sharing it with anyone, especially Tony. Peter on the other hand was pretty much settled down. He spent every free minute he had at the tower just to be with you, which was really getting in the way of your studying. He was a lot of help with Morgan, most of the time you felt like both of them shared one brain cell. It made so much sense now why Tony loved Peter like his own son. And that being the case, your secret relationship with him was in the clear.  

You gave Morgan a tissue, helping her wipe away some of the food that was on her face. She giggled because the corner tickled her nose, turning to look at you. You smiled at her, petting her head as she continued eating with her spoon, spilling most of the contents all over the table. 

"Tony, do you even know what tik-tok is?" you asked.

"I'm not that told, of course I know!"

"It's that video app that Morgan watches on your phone." You explained anyway, sure he had no idea what the conversation really was about. 

"It's that? Then no, we're definitely not making a tik-tok account."

---

Somehow Peter managed to persuade all of you into this. But if you think about it, he persuaded you into dating him, he could practically get anything he wanted. And because of this absurd idea, you were now setting up a phone on a tripod, placing it in the middle of the living room. Peter was next to you in his spider suit and the other Avengers were talking on the couch while you two worked. 

"So you guys have to go rounds?" you asked, looking over at Peter. He had his mask off, holding it in one hand. 

"Yeah, and after we film, we have to put the names after every round with an X on an O, depending on who managed to hide in time."

"Sometimes I think you started this whole thing because you don't have any friends." 

"I have friends?"

You took a few steps back, seeing what was in the frame. 

"Yeah? Like who? And you're not allowed to say me, we're not friends."

"Well, there's Ned and MJ."

"I don't think this is going to work out."  You said, looking at the others. "You literally have gigantic, muscular men, trying to hide in a minimalistic living room. And then there's also the Hulk."

“Did you just thirst over muscular men right in front of me?” Peter laughed, placing his hand on your waist. Usually you would tense up when he did that, but since you were now dating, you didn't.  "Trust me, it will be fun!" 

"Mask on please, get everyone in position." 

He nodded, putting his mask on and telling everyone to gather in front of the camera and pose. You stood behind the phone, looking at the frame. Everyone was in it. They were gathering like they were about to take a picture, standing in cool superhero poses. 

"Okay guys, you look poster worthy. I'll count to 3 and all of you have 5 seconds to hide somewhere before the camera takes a picture!" you explained. Peter had ran through this with them before but you felt the need to explain again. "1, 2, 3..." 

And you pressed record. Pure chaos was unleashed after that. Peter shot a web and stuck to the ceiling, Thor jumped over the couch along with Cap, laying flat on it so they were not visible. Hulk just grabbed the couch with both of them on it, lifting it and putting it in front of him sideways, while the others just fell on the ground on top of each other. Natasha practically jumped on an armchair that got knocked over from her force and got out of the frame entirely. The 5 seconds were over and you were barely holding in your laughter at that point. You had expected this to go badly but not nearly as bad as it actually was. 

You did a few more rounds, each one more ridiculous than the previous. And after that you got to work, writing out the winners and losers to each round in your notes. Now all that was left was editing it and posting. 

—

You were sitting at your desk, biting your lip as you were concentrating on figuring out where to place all the names and scores on the screen so they wouldn’t block out any important things in the video. Or should you have them appear at the end? Your work was interrupted by Peter walking in your room, making your head turn. He had the mask in his hand, still wearing the suit. 

“Hi, pumpkin!” he said, which made you raise an eyebrow at him and squint your eyes in displeasure. 

“That sounded ridiculously cheesy and I really hate it.’’ 

“I thought introducing some kind of pet name into this relationship would be nice, I need to change your name in my phone.” 

“Think of another one.”

He walked over to you, a gentle kiss was immediately placed on the top of your head while his eyes wandered to your phone, looking as the video played with half of the scorings written in the middle of it. 

“Ooo, did I win?” he asked, his hand resting on your shoulder.

“Mmmm, you didn’t lose definitely, but you lost a point on the third round when you stuck yourself in fetal position to Hulk’s back and he started spinning in circles trying to get you off.” 

“That’s not fair! I hid well!”

“But the camera still saw you, I don’t make the rules.”

He kissed your cheek before laying down on your bed. You finished up the video and hit upload before following him. It was still new and uncomfortable for you to be affectionate with him in public, but your room offered a safe space to try. You wouldn’t shut him down when he tried making a move on you in front of the others like you used to do, but initiating intimacy yourself was really out of the picture. He put his phone away when he saw you get up, opening his arms. You lay on top of him as he wrapped his arms in a warm embrace. You relaxed your weight on him, head pressed against his chest. Cons to having a spider-man boyfriend was you were never worried you’d crush him.

“I need to say something and I don’t want it to turn into a fight.” he said, making you look at him.

You placed your hands on top of his chest, resting your head on them as you watched him. 

“What is it about?” you asked.

“Since the month of us trying to date is almost over…” 

“Pete… I know what you’re gonna say and the month isn’t over yet. Please don’t let it get over your head before it actually happens.”

“But we’re a week away from a month!”

“I know but a lot can happen in a week… You know exactly how much.” You told him, referring to the time you two had spent alone together almost a month ago. 

“Okay, okay, baby mice steps. I get it.”

“Precisely.”

You tried to relax after the conversation, laying your head on his chest while he stroked your back gently. For some reason it was just not working to calm you down. You turned to look at him again and he was already staring, a soft smile painted across his lips. A soft sigh escaped yours, your hands reaching out to wrap around his neck and pull yourself closer to him. Still feeling uneasy from what he said, you slid your body on one of his sides, hiding your face in his neck. He giggled softly because you tickled him in the process, squeezing you gently.

“I’m sorry.” you mumbled against his neck, your hand drawing soft circles on his chest. 

Peter hummed softly, raising your chin with his hand to place a soft kiss on your lips. 

“It’s okay, I know I’m impatient.” 

“No, I think you’re being reasonable. I’m the one who’s overreacting.”

He kissed you again, slowly and gently, his lips moving against yours while he still held your chin with his hand.

“You’re alright, babe. Baby steps.” 

You nodded, letting your head fall on his shoulder this time, placing soft kisses on his jawline.

“Baby steps.” You repeated in a whisper.

You enjoyed cuddling with him more than you had anticipated, neither of you expected your primary love language to be physical touch. But Peter didn’t mind that even one bit, he loved touching you for comfort, his hands were on your legs whenever you two went somewhere with the car, no matter who was driving. He would make sure to place his hand one the small of your back whenever you two would pass each other in a hallway. His knee would touch yours under the dinner table when he was over. It was subtle and it brought the both of you so much comfort and adrenaline. You were basically hiding in plain sight. 

You had no idea if Tony was onto the two of you yet or not. Peter was over way more than he used to be, he even sneaked in a few times during the night. The alarms wouldn’t go off because, well it was Peter after all. It wasn’t like you were trying to sneak in someone who wasn’t registered into the security systems. And Tony adored the kid, so he was extra happy about having him around more. Things were going pretty smoothly if anyone had to ask you.

—

You hated to admit, but Peter was right. This whole tik-tok thing was an absolute hit. It humanized all of the Avengers so much that people started trusting and liking them more than ever before. You were getting millions of likes and comments on all of the videos you uploaded, which were more or less different trends. It was annoying that you had to run the whole account, like you didn’t have enough work to do. 

Today you filmed the tortilla slap challenge with Bucky, Natasha and Sam. Peter desperately wanted to join it but everyone was against the idea of him publicly announcing his secret identity, especially for a tik-tok. So you made him mop up the floor after, since he wanted to be involved so badly. 

All of them went into a meeting straight after that, leaving you with 10 minutes to run and grab a coffee for everyone. The 10 minutes you had were definitely not enough to make it back with so many cups. And to top it all off, the Parker family was on a mission to make it extra difficult for you. Peter was spamming your messages begging you to listen to “Yellow hearts” by Ant Saunders because somehow it was “exactly describing the relationship you two had.” And you were walking down a street, trying to reply to a message, hands full of coffee cups, when you ran into Peter’s aunt - May.

“Oh, Y\N! Lovely seeing you!” she said with a bright cheerful smile, making you look up from your phone. You were trying to support the cups with your chin while you texted, because all of them couldn’t fit in the paper bag. 

“May! Hey!” you replied once you shook off the surprise, shoving the phone in your back pocket.

“How are you, sweetheart? I’ve been hearing about you lately, but not seeing enough.” she smiled, placing a hand on your arm as she spoke. 

“I’m alright, a little busy actually. Are you here to pick up Parker JR after the meeting?”

“Yes, and I thought I could drink some coffee while I’m waiting. Peter recommended the place.”

“He did, didn’t he?” you asked, trying to mask how frustrated and overwhelmed you were becoming. “I need to run, I’m already late.”

“It’s okay, we can catch up another time? Dinner over at Queens this week?” she asked, but you were already walking away from her. 

You turned your head to look at her in a little bit of a shock, not expecting a whole dinner invitation to her house. Your fears turned out to be true, Peter had told her about dating you.  

“I’m very busy, I’ll tell the spider whenever I can.” You smiled politely at her before walking away, in the most rapid pace you could manage without actually running.

--

“Hey, kid, these are for you.” you heard Tony say as he walked into the living room.

You were helping Morgan with a coloring book, or rather watching her color in it from time to time while you read through your biology textbook. Exams were coming up and you didn’t have a second to spare. Tony’s voice captured your attention, making you look up and see him hold a beautiful bouquet of yellow and white roses, decorated with little daisies.

“For me? Thank you Tony, but that’s so weird.”

“They’re not from me. They were left for you at the door.”

“The front door?”

“No, by the doggy door.”

You rolled your eyes at his comment, getting up to look at the flowers yourself. In the meantime Tony took the card out reading out loud. You tried stopping him by grabbing the card but he lifted his hand up, making you jump to try to get it but failing. 

“Thank you for coming to dinner last night, love, your secret boyfriend.” he read, looking at you in shock “You have a boyfriend?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Does Peter know about you having a boyfriend?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Yes, and he’s not sending you flowers at your door for having dinner with him. Who is he?”

“Tony, you’re not my dad.”

Your words made him snap out of his protective mode, giving you the flowers and the note. You took them in your arms reluctantly, reading the note to be sure he was actually right about what was written on it. Tony looked at you with an expression that you couldn’t really decode, it looked like shock, pain and worry at the same time. You were going to kill Peter, for real this time.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound like that.” you said, breaking the silence that had fallen upon the two of you.

He placed an arm on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly. 

“Nothing to apologize for here, I know I can never replace your parents, I’m not trying either.” Tony gave your shoulder a pat, turning around to look at Morgan, who had stopped coloring and was now listening to the two of you.

“Thank you… For worrying about me, I appreciate it. I know I don’t say it enough but I value your presence in my life, or rather my presence is yours.”

“Please don’t make this more awkward than it already is.”

“Usually I’m the one who says that.”

“Would you look at that, your boyfriend has made you cheesy.” 

You shook your head in disgust from his words, watching him as he walked over to Morgan and lifted her up in his arms, spinning around as he hugged her. It was your queue to leave before it got any weirder, so you gathered your books and left as fast as you could.

Shutting the door of your room behind you, phone on your ear as you had already dialed Peter’s number. He picked up on the fourth ring, right before you gave up on this call. 

“Hey!” His cheerful voice on the other side of the line.

“What’s with those flowers?” you asked, cutting right to the chase.

“Don’t you like them? May said it was what I was supposed to do after you came over for dinner and she said flowers would be a ni-”

“I love the flowers, but Tony found them before I did.”

“Oh.”

“Thank you for not being dumb enough to not sign your name on that card.” you sighed, placing the bouquet on your desk next to the messy piles of notebooks. “Now he thinks I have a boyfriend.”

“But you do have a boyfriend.” he laughed softly. You could hear his smile on the other side of the line.

“I know this label makes you very happy, I’m glad it does, but please be more careful next time.”

“Alright, bet, next time I want to bring you flowers I’ll stick them to the ceiling of your room with my webs so no one else can see them.”

“Now that’s a thought.” you laughed, looking at the ceiling just to make sure he hadn’t already done that.

In reality, you weren’t mad at him for sending you flowers. You loved them, it was a very nice gesture and it made you feel warm on the inside. Sure, it wasn’t the best way to receive them and it stressed you out, but at the end of the day, you had a very good boyfriend that wanted to make you happy.

— 

Peter walked in the apartment holding a red rose in his hand. His smile was spread across his face as the elevator door opened in front of him, leading him into the big living space. He came here straight from school, after his Math quiz. He didn’t bother going home first to leave his backpack, went straight to a flower shop to get you a rose and head to the Stark tower so he could invite you on a very special date. He expected you to be watching over Morgan alone and it caught him by surprise when he saw Tony sitting on the couch. You were standing next to him, reading over something which he had probably given you. Tony turned his head, noticing it was Peter with the side of his eye. 

“Hey, kid.” he said.

Peter froze in his spot, his heart pounding in his chest from the fear of how this was going to play out. He had to think of something really fast. He threw the rose in the air as Tony’s head moved to face you again for a second, shooting a web at it to stick it to the ceiling. 

“What’s with that rose?” Tony asked a second later, after he processed what he had seen, turning fully around to look at Peter.

“What rose?” Peter replied, looking around, his hands empty now. 

“I swear you were holding a rose just now.”

“No, I wasn’t. Maybe you saw my Math quiz with this big red A written on it.” The paper was folded in half and shoved in his back pocket because he was in such a rush to get here, he didn’t have time to put it in his bag. He took the paper out of his pocket, showing it to Tony. 

Their conversation made you look up at Peter. You knew he was lying. The tone of his voice sounded nervous and like he was going to crack under the pressure. 

“You need to work on your lying skills.” Tony said, turning his back to him and looking at you again. You looked at Peter, then at Tony and your gaze fell on the papers. 

“Everything seems fine.” You told Tony, handing him the red folder back. He had hired some new engineers for his labs, helping him and wanted you to review their work just in case. It wasn’t like you were majoring in engineering, your passion was biology and biochemistry, but you just knew math well enough to spot any mistake if there was any.

“Okay, thank you. You’re free now” He told you, reading through the folder again. 

Ten minutes later Tony was still sitting on the couch, reading through the folder. You and Peter silently decided to study on the kitchen table across from each other. You were already engrossed in the textbook you were reading, highlighting, writing things down in your notebook, sticking sticky notes in the book. You were trying your best to ignore Peter’s constant fidgeting in his seat, the annoyed flipping through pages with sighs escaping his lips. His hands moving on the table when he would get bored, making you flinch in your seat, worried he would try to touch you in front of Tony. You heard silent ripping of paper, trying to ignore it, but Peter threw it a small paper ball at you to get your attention. You looked over at him, annoyed by his overall behavior in the last 10 minutes. Both of you had finals knocking at your doors and he was doing everything in his power to distract you. He pointed at the ceiling as soon as your eyes met, making you look in the direction. And there it was, the rose Tony was talking about earlier, a single red rose, webbed onto the ceiling. You wanted to burst out laughing but held yourself back, looking at Peter again. He was writing something, passing it to you a few seconds later.

“Will you be my prom date?” it read, looking at him and shaking your head no. You had already told him a million times you were not going to do it. He pouted, putting his hands together and locking his fingers into a prayer, begging you to say yes. You shook your head again, giving him back the note. 

“What the hell are you two doing?” Tony asked, making the two of you jump in your seats. 

He had been looking at the two of you for the past 5 minutes, he saw the rose as well, saw Peter begging you and you declining. He was standing by the table. This whole time you felt like you were in detention with Peter, and now that Tony caught you, the feeling got deeper. Neither of you said anything, staring at Tony in shock. And since you wouldn’t speak, Tony took the paper and laughed. 

“I don’t think her boyfriend is gonna like that.”

“Her boyfriend?” Peter asked, looking at you.

“Yeah, she has a boyfriend.”

“I don’t think he’ll mind.” Peter continued. 

“I definitely think he will.” 

“No he won’t, he’ll be quite happy actually.”

“What is making you think that?”

“Because it’s me, I’m her boyfriend.”

You didn’t say a word the entire conversation. A few weird looks were shared between the three of you in complete silence. You felt like you wanted to die. Peter turned to stare at you, waiting for you to confirm it. Tony was staring at you too, unsure if this was real or another attempt of Peter’s to flirt with you. Then he laughed, Tony started laughing loudly and sincerely. He was laughing so hard you could see a tear running down his cheek. Peter whined, throwing his head back in frustration from his reaction. 

“It’s true! Tell him!”

You gulped, looking at the still-laughing Tony. 

“It is.” you almost whispered, hoping he wouldn’t hear you. 

“Wait.” Tony stopped, looking at the two of you with furrowed brows. “Really?”

“Yeah.” you said, nodding softly. 

—

The lights flashed softly as you walked in, blinding you for a second. You tried to walk in a straight line but the lights did not help you at all. You grabbed Peter’s arm for support, scared you would miss a threshold that had suddenly appeared out of nowhere and trip. Peter looked over at you in concern, thinking something had suddenly made you anxious. You looked at him as well, blinking rapidly, trying to adjust to the light changing all of a sudden. Your hand was holding his biceps, squeezing it softly. He placed his other hand on yours, patting softly. He stared at you until you nodded that you were okay now and you could continue walking. Of all the cringe things you were expecting to see tonight, a disco ball was definitely not on the list. 

“Penis Parker with an actual date to prom? This will go down in history as the biggest plot twist!” You heard a somewhat familiar voice from behind you, turning around only to be faced with Flash. 

“Oh, it’s that annoying guy.” You said, looking at Peter, who nodded in agreement. 

“Wait, I know you, you were at my party once.”

“Unfortunately, yes, I was.”

“Why are you with that loser, ditch him, you should be my date instead.” Flash said, reaching a level of annoyance you didn’t even know existed.

“Sorry, I don’t do charity work on evenings but you can try the homeless kitchen in Queens on Saturdays and Tuesdays, I’m usually there to help on those days.” you told him as Peter wrapped his arm around your waist. “Plus we’re kind of already matching.” you pointed at Peter. “Your costume wannabe will clash with my dress and that’s a big no from me.”

Peter was trying his best not to laugh as you were absolutely destroying Flash verbally. It brought back memories from when you used to do the same with his attempts to flirt.

“Jesus Christ, I don’t want to know what kind of sado-maso sex you two freaks are having.”

“Did you just call me a sadist? I didn’t know you could read people so well, Flash!” you asked, looking at Peter for back up.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Peter said, pulling you closer to him and walking the two of you away. “That was brutal, can’t let you ruin his ego on his prom night!”

“Someone had to do it!” you whined, your hands crossing in front of your chest.

“We’re here to have a good time! Come on! Let’s dance and not think about Flash.”

“Remind me, how exactly did you convince me to come to this? I hated my own prom and I’m definitely hating yours too.”

“You want me to remind you?”

You nodded, his hands resting on each side of your hips as he looked at you. His forehead pressed against yours, placing a soft kiss on your cheek. 

“Are you sure you want me to remind you here?” he whispered in your ear.

You nodded again, looking at him. Your arms still crossed on your chest. 

“In front of all these people?” He asked with a fake shocked expression on his face, pulling your body closer. You rolled your eyes at him, his arms wrapping around you, chests pressed together. 

Your heartbeat accelerated as you looked at him, faces inches away from each other. His hot breath glided across the skin on your face, making your eyes fall shut as his lips gently touched yours. His fingers dug into the soft skin on your back. You rested your hands on his chest as he kissed you, consciously trying not to ruin his suit by grabbing anything you shouldn’t. He wasn’t that careful tho, his other hands scrunching the fabric that was so perfectly wrapped around your waistline, in desperate attempts to feel your body closer to his.

“Did I remind you?” he asked, breath heavy as he broke the kiss seconds before.

“You basically just admit to seducing me into this.” you told him, your head resting on his shoulder as he rocked the two of you gently to the rhythm of the blues that was playing in the background. 

“You can never just fall on your back, can you?”

“Never!” 

The two of you laughed, him kissing your forehead as you continued swaying, wrapped in each other's embrace.

---

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@asthmaticcchoeee @ivyquill

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

when the clock strikes 12

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

Summary : while awaiting for the new year countdown, Eddie had an idea to blow your mind

Word Count : it's for the mini fics section soooo lengthwise? probably solid

Warnings : 18+ (MDNI)SMUT‼️Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, slight alcohol consumption, reader and Eddie are both (20), slight somnophilia 🫠, aftercare, no use of y/n, reader is slowly waking up and Eddie asks for permission and if you're still uncomfortable with that please don't continue to read, that's just it really

What to Expect : SMUT and FLUFF, Eddie being a silly goose, set in modern era (of course, there's still a touch of 80's in there), UPSIDE DOWN & VECNA DON'T EXIST IN THIS!

Note To Reader : GIF for this because I'm missed seeing him moving on my fics lmao, also the divider is made by me hehe- I'm literally exposing myself out here, please forgive for my salacious thoughts 🙏🏻 (if you know me in real life? no- you don't 😃)

Author Note : I know I've been long gone for a while but I'm trying my best to post new fics as much as I can! there has been a lot of happenings with my life especially we're having a lot of events like family reunion 🫠 (but it's so much fun tho ngl)

The preparation for new year's is going so well

So well, that you haven't realized how tired you really are

You're so productive that you've used too much of energy on yourself for working to prepare for the party

You wanted this to be perfect

You want everything to be settled in according to your plan

Eddie knows that you're always so "serious" when it comes to decoration and especially when there's an occasion

He loves you for it though, you just don't throw parties

You throw the greatest parties all the time and you never missed

All of your friends are in there, Steve, Robin, Jonathan, Nancy, Argyle and the freaking kids that you always adored so much

You looked around at everyone in the room

Jeff and Gareth are bantering at each other with some album, Dustin and Lucas fight over which 80's fantasy film is the best, Steve, Robin and Eddie surprisingly getting along with the same pop music artist, you could see the three of them geeking at each other

Max and Jane do makeover at each other which aches your heart of seeing them so close to each other, it's really so sweet to have a real girl bestfriend like that

"I'm gonna refill your glass" Nancy pasts over to you snatching the glass on your hand so swiftly that it makes you snap out of your head

You slowly trying to register what just happened and you smile finally

"More wine? really?" You say as you watch her fill your glass with wine

"Uh, yeah?" she replies with a dramatical jerk to her head as you chuckle

"But it's only 9pm!" you exclaim with wide eyes but a fond smile on your lips

"are you saying that we should only be drinking when the clock finally strikes 12?!?" she says while she fills her cup, she takes glances at you and back to her glass

"Ah- yes, that! exactly!" you point to her using your index finger as you holding your glass of wine

You could already feel yourself getting drowsy a little bit from the wine

Red wine will always make you feel sleepy

You don't even know if it's the alcohol or you just really need to doze off for a minute before you could scream at the top of your lungs for 2024

You don't even know how many glasses that you already take

"Did we just finished the whole bottle?" You feel the world is spinning on you

Nancy, your bestfriend- raises the bottle in front of you as she snorts at your disapproval look

"Kinda?" she says slurring as she smirks at you

"What do you mean? Kinda?!"

"Hey- woah!"

Jonathan passes by and bless him for his instincts because Nancy would've been knocked her head on the counter as she starts stumbling from her stance, he catches her on time

Nancy giggled as you rolled your eyes in annoyance, massaging your forehead

He saw the look from your face as he chuckles

"She got too far again, huh?"

"Yeah, she always does, Jonathan, nothing's new" you reply as you also can't walk properly

"Wait- don't move- should I call-"

Before Jonathan can finish his words, the voice of your boyfriend booms out of nowhere while Argyle tails behind him, looking at you and Nancy

"Sweetheart- how you've-"

Eddie clocked the wine bottle from Nancy hand

"Did you dr-"

"Don't even try it, Ed's" you placed your palm over his mouth as you stumble forward, he immediately wraps his arms around you as you started pressing all of your weight against his chest making the male laugh as he gently hold the back of your head

"Y'all getting drunk already? It's not even 12am yet" Argyle with his iconic tone, you seriously have no idea which one of his voice is normal

You've never heard him talk in normal voice before so you're used to him having that voice that sounds so freaking high as fuck

But, he's a good bud tho, so hilarious

"Blame her, not me! Eddie tell them!" You defend yourself as you put your chin onto his chest as you look at him with a pout on your lips, he smiles as he ruffles his face against yours making your face scrunch up from his action, he laughs again

"What's with all of the commotion?" Steve arrives with hands on his hips

"The two got their selves drunk again" Jonathan points to you and to his girl

"As if that's new" Robin appears in the corner with her arms crossed leaning against the side of the wall

Steve chortles "Wait- you got hustled by Nancy again?"

You groaned from Steve's teasing "yeah, I always fail to see that, thanks" you say

"I told you, you shouldn't brought the wine here, you moron!" Robin uncrosses her arms finally figuring out where the wine misplaced her eyes widen when she saw Nancy holding it, she snatches it making her bite a laugh as Jonathan also connecting the dots at the scene

He pressed his lips together to not burst from laughter

Argyle watches both of his friends having a fit of unnecessary argument

"I think I need to grab a popcorn for this" he leaves abruptly as he looked at your kitchen cabinets and came back munching in a bag of popcorn, very entertained at the scene

"I-I don't know how she got it!"

"Did you hide it properly!?"

"Look- Robs-"

Robin clicks her tongue as she asks "Nancy, how did you get the wine bottle?!"

She turns around with a lopsided smile as Jonathan steadys her

"I just saw it hanging around but-"

"But?"

"I think Steve" she points at him as she chuckles making the boy winces as he finally remembered of what he's done

"Forgotten about it that he left it out there, soooo" she giggles again making Robin grumble as she raises both of her eyebrows at Steve

"Oh- come on!" Steve runs his fingers through his hair as he decides to turn back leaving all of you

"Hey! don't you walk out on me! I paid for that expensive shit-" Robin follows him as she starts pointing everything on him

Argyle, Jonathan, Nancy and Eddie all laughing at the scene while meanwhile you, Eddie could hear you chuckle a bit but you made a little hum

He draws back his attention at you, he looks down at you

"I think I need to doze off for a minute" you say to him with your sleepy eyes

He smiles as he kisses the top of your head he put his arms around you "Yeah, sure"

Eddie says to Jonathan and the rest that you and him will be out for a while, they all nod and said "Don't be late for the countdown"

Your boyfriend leads you to your bedroom as you throw yourself at your bed as he closes the door walking towards you, you lay behind your back as you stretch your whole body, Eddie chuckles at your tipsy behavior

"I love my bed"

"Yeah, you always do"

"Uh huh"

He snickers "Okay, honey, are you well? are you sober?" He leans down at you

"Eddie- you know the alcohol hits harder at Nancy right?"

"I'm just checking you know to see if my girl's alright" he shrugs as he put his hands inside of his pockets

"I'm very much, okay, eds- I'm sssleepy" you yawn as you feel your eyes dropping until it shuts completely

He chuckles as he shakes his head he leans down as he kisses your forehead you smile at the gesture as it makes you even heavier to fall asleep

Eddie watches you sleep as he stands over at the window

The neighborhood outside is quite a watch, everyone is having fun, everyone is having a blast

The music outside is dull but he can hear all of his friends laughter and the screams of excitement from them

He shifts from where he standing as he tears off his eyes from the outside of your window and goes back at you

You turned on the other side, so you're now facing him as you snuggle against your pillow

Eddie smiles to himself, he feels so good having you in his life

He walks towards you as he moves the fallen hair strand on your face

His eyes softens as he sats down beside you

You stirred up from the movement on the bed as you try to open your eyes, you smiled when you realized it's Eddie

You pulled him closer beside you as he lets you take him laying down with you

He put his other arm over you as you cuddled against his chest almost hugging him in the process

You feel more cozier and even more sleepier than before

The moment you move your leg over to his

Your skirt rise up exposing more bare skin to him, his breath hitches at the sight of it

He looks down at you, he double thinked- maybe- it's a bad idea to do this but he wants you so badly right now

He shouldn't even be thinking that you will get mad because hell-

You trust him

So.....

He starts sinking down beside you, you moved slightly as he continues to do his work

He plants hot kisses over your neck when finds your sweet spot- you hum lightly

He's now on top of you, holding your hips, he's positioning you laying on your back, your head is on the side, still sleeping peacefully

He goes over to your chest, you're wearing tube top with a zipper in front, so he has a access to your bare chest, he kisses more and more

Your body couldn't even register what's going on

You felt hot and cold all over because of the midnight's weather and from your body heating up from the tension that your boyfriend is giving you

You feel him going lower and lower but you can still feel your eyes tired

He watches your soft heaves from chest rising up and down, his eyes darkened when he puts his hand inside of your skirt, he slowly reaches at the hem of your panties

He licks his lips, your skin feels on fire because of his fingertips, your stir from your sleep once again but still not opening your eyes

He doves onto your lips, kissing you, and you hummed as you lazily kissed him back

"May I?"

You move your head onto the other side, you catch a glimpse of the clock, it says 11:20pm

"Ed's, we might get late-" even though, you want him to do it

"Please"

You're not even opening your eyes yet but you can see his pleading eyes being directed at you

"Yes, Eddie, you can have me, take it all" you sank down further making Eddie groaned when his fingers touched your center, it's drenched

He hook his fingers on your underwear along with your skirt discarded on the floor

You shudder at the cool air as Eddie positioning himself comfortably

He smears kisses on the inside of your thighs as he goes closer and closer to your core

You moved your head on the other way as you try to close your legs when you can't help but feel the arousal that's coming in

But he places his palms on the sides of your legs spreading you open as you can feel of your insides burning from his touch

His hands are everywhere, when the moment he swiped his fingers at your core, you released lewd noises as your breathing goes quicker

He licked his finger cleaning it off with his tongue, he grins down at you

He holds your hips as he leans down

"Ed-"

Before you can finish your sentence, he doves down lapping at your juices as you gasp from his sudden action

His eyes are glued to you as he continues to do his work, watching your once peaceful slumber turns into pleasure

He devours you so satisfying that it's making you close your legs, he smirks as you can feel his tongue go lower inside, you mewled

He holds you tightly as you grip on the sheets, he sucked more and more of you until your can feel your legs shake

You can feel his hand reaching on the hem of your top, you slightly open your eyes as you find the zipper as you pull it down

He grunts when he saw your breasts that he worships everyday, you loved the way he admires your body

You're now naked so divinely displayed for him

His free hand kneads your boobs as you moaned, he dives back down as he starts to bully your clit

You can feel your body tremble from the sensation forming up in your stomach

You reached for his hair as you pull it making his eyes grow hungrier and eats you like man starved for days

"Oh- Eddie-"

He carries the back your butt as his tongue digs deeper earning a squeal from you when he reaches the spot that you didn't know it existed

Your eyes are heavy-lidded, you try to watch him but you can't when your brain can't place your emotions whether is melatonin or oxytocin

you're not sure at this point but hella you feel so fucking amazing right now

He abruptly stops and when he does, you finally open your eyes

"Wha- what- don't stop!" You whine

"What about the countdown?" His lips are covered with your slick and his saliva altogether not caring a single shit that it's literally dripping down on his chin

You gasp at it as you moaned, he chuckles darkly, you know what he's doing he's teasing you

"Do you know that you're frickin' beautiful without even trying?" He goes at his usual antics as you beg for him to come back down

"Eddie, please!"

"Not until you see stars"

"What-"

Before you can utter another word, he goes back in but this time he places your legs over his shoulders another spectacular angle making you shiver from his touches yet again

He grips your legs, thighs, arms, your belly, he squeezes your boobs and it's literally fucking everywhere

One thing, you know it's for certain that you really would unashamedly come from his simple touches

He pokes his tongue down on you but when he curled it, you chant his name like a prayer, you have the ability to scream his name without being caught in action inside of the room because of the loud noises from the people and the music

Your eyes burn from the threatening tears but Eddie is not having it, he wanted you to fall apart completely for him

You moaning louder and louder when he swipes his tongue on your entrance when he puts your legs down on the bed

"You're still not seeing it, I see"

"D-Don't stop- please"

He opens your legs again as he resume to his mission, he tongue fucks you as he digs in and out, you squirm at it as he starts picking up the pace as you let out a ragged breath

Goddamn, he is killing you right now, you can already die right then and there heavenly

Your mouth falls open without noise coming out of them as you yank his hair, he growls as you couldn't believe that he could reach every spot inside of you

You arched your back as you start grinding against his face, his eyes flashes devilishly mischief as he didn't stop this time

He laps once more until you cry out his name

You jolted when the fireworks exploded booming the entire neighborhood

You come on his tongue as the same time the fireworks started

Your legs are spent, you feel boneless but a sickly smile is now sitting on your lips

He let you get back on earth for a while as he cleans you up, he dresses you up not leaving single skin left behind without his kisses

"You saw it, huh?" He grins like a devil that he is but you love him, he holds the door open for you letting you first outside

You saw all of your friends jumping on to the music and celebrated very happily

"I did" you admit ignoring the rosy tint on your cheeks "and it was much more better"

"Than?" He throws his arms around your shoulders

"The fireworks" you smile as he chuckles as he kisses the top of your head as he squeezes you to his side

[legallybrunettedotcom]

hi! can I ask you for crime movie recommendations, or just a list of your personal favorites? I've been getting super into crime fiction recently (books and movies), and I'm making a watchlist of movies I want to check out next. heist movies, gangster films, thrillers, anything involving criminals is interesting to me, and I'd really love to hear about your faves! have a nice day <3

hiii, Estelle! oh I love a good crime movie! I grew up on gangster and mob movies tbh so there's some obvious choices like the godfather and goodfellas. continuing with Scorsese, I love casino. I think it's somewhat underrated Scorsese, idk i just don't see it mentioned that often, but it's super fun. the departed as well, people talked shit about it, but it's great. then mean streets, serpico, taxi driver, dog day afternoon, heat, collateral, thief, chinatown. pretty much every Tarantino ever, obviously reservoir dogs and pulp fiction, jackie brown is my favourite and the sort of song of the movie is across 110th street from the movie of the same name, so I'd def recommend that one, it's an underrated flick. heist movie-wise, ocean's eleven kind of the king here. then set it off, bound, inside man, widows, the italian job (the original), topkapi and rififi are underrated ones, the asphalt jungle, the friends of eddie coyle, the taking of pelham 123, the thomas crown affair (the remake), dead presidents, out of sight, point break, the driver, hustlers, a fish called wanda is sooo funny. sexy beast is such a great and intense movie.

if you'd enjoy something criminal and psychosexual, I'd recommend two 60s movies the housemaid and who killed teddy bear? the cook, the thief, the wife and her lover is an insane sexy one. blue velvet fits here as well. Guy Ritchie made the same movie like 4 times tbh, but I love snatch and lock, stock and two smoking barrels, I think the man from uncle is also a fun one. Brian De Palma is good at corny and sleazy and I kinda love his scarface. body double is silly but I love a good voyeuristic movie. along those lines you obviously have rear window and peeping tom, and then to continue with Hitchcock, I love rope, psycho, and think dial m for murder is quite overlooked. natural born killers, true romance and the doom generation for something stupid and bloody. mandatory Fincher recs like se7en and zodiac. I love the usual suspects, it has that twist at the end that for me personally works even upon rewatches. another underrated movie is joy house with beautiful Jane Fonda and Alain Delon in his prime. faster pussycat kill kill is just pure fun and sleaze and gorgeous ladies. I love lady snowblood and scorpion with Meiko Kaji but I know you've seen those. tokyo drifter is a stylish one as well. some obvi french new wave recs like breathless and pierrot le fou. I'd say there's nothing quite like the atmospheric the night of the hunter. I love drive too, it's all style and the only substance is blood. uncut gems and good time are quite good too. out of something extra new, I enjoyed love lies bleeding more than I expected. seven psychopaths and in bruges for something cynical and silly. then fargo, no country for old men, the big lebowski. filth and trainspotting for something utterly dirty and disgusting. not to forget Hannibal Lecter, we can't not mention the silence of the lambs and manhunter. also badlands, dirty harry, carlito's way, eastern promises, the third man, the big sleep, double indemnity, gun crazy, bonnie and clyde, foxy brown, american psycho, the talented mr ripley, prisoners. something more along crime drama strange days, fallen angels, the city of the rising sun and made in hong kong.

[milkman-zahhak]

OC ref sheet + slightly better writing/fic

-> Part 1 Part 2 (prequel to part 1) (think of it like a flashback scene, seen as Leo and Cal drift asleep in part 1) Part 3 (sequel to part 1)

Made a visual for those OCs I made, attempting to flesh them out a bit. The art is messy, the anatomy is wack, I know.. I just wanted to get the basic info out there. Anyways, here's a different (hopefully better) story.

And as usual, WARNING, THIS IS A KINK POST, A FETISH POST. IT WILL CONTAIN FETISH CONTENT, SUCH AS BELLIES FULL OF FOOD AND WHATNOT, CHECK THE TAGS FOR THE WHOLE RUNDOWN.

Brief overview: The first character is a college boy named Cal. He's naturally thin, he doesn't overeat very often. And maybe that's for the better because he's lactose intolerant and has a sensitive stomach, prone to bloating. He's shy and antisocial, but has a very close friend named Leo who is his roommate. Leo secretly has.. well, a "thing" for bloated tummies and things of the like.. he would never push this onto anyone, much less ADMIT it. Cal has grown comfortable around Leo over the years, even though he's usually very self-consious and shy, he trusts Leo and is willing to open up to him more. ----------

It was a boring day off of work for Cal. He had no plans nor any means to act out any plans he might have. Not to mention nothing to snack on, and Cal wasn't about to make himself a whole meal. He was counting down the minutes until his roommate Leo came home from work, hanging out with Leo was always fun for him. Eventually, it was about 30 minutes past the time he expected Leo to return.

"Im so boooorreeeed…" Cal mumbles. But as soon as the words leave his lips, the door slams open. He turns around to see Leo and brightens up immediately. Leo informs him that hes sorry for being late, he won some gift cards to the local pizza place in a raffle at work and used them all at once. "I thought i might as well use 'em before I lose 'em. Or forget about them. Theres a bunch, so we can share!" Leo tries to cheer Cal up as he brings the pizza boxes to the little coffee table in the living room. Cal follows Leo to the pizza to grab a slice. "I've been so bored out of my mind all day, and hungry too. This is gonna be so kickass, huh?" Leo chuckled "Yup! Just us chilling all night. We can watch movies too, let me get one ready." Cal leans back, "hell yeah! Ok, choose something silly and fun."

Cal watches from the kitchen as Leo boots up youtube on the TV in the living room "Dude, something else please. Leo frowns, questioning "aww, not y-" Cal interrupts "NOT youtube documentaries about lost media or unsuccessful video game film adaptations, God dammit! That's all we watched last time.. don't you have any actual movies?"

Leo gets up and looks through a box of physical media he has, most of which are youtube series he's burnt onto DVDs, until he finds an actual movie "Uh. Umm. I've got one of the original copies of the Postal 2007 movie on dvd?.."

Cal sighs, giving up on being able to chose a normal movie "...Yeah, sure. Zach Ward really carried that dumpster fire"

Cal leans forward over the kitchen table to pluck a slice from the box, the stringy cheese stretching and tearing. "I could go for some soda, too," he murmurs, and Leo springs to his feet, nodding "Good call. I'll grab some." As he heads for the fridge, Cal takes an excited bite and settles back. He's practically inhaling the slice at this point, almost choking on the huge bite he took as he does so. Leo hears him cough and laughs, "God damn, Cal, chill. There's plenty of pizza, haha. It's not gonna run away from you."

Cal rolls his eyes "yeah, thanks for the advice." He takes another big bite and speaks as he chews "you have no idea how hungry I've been all day. I swear I could eat all of this pizza by myself if I could!" Cal was obviously joking and exaggerating, but Leo blushed imagining such a scenario… he shook away the thoughts quickly. He doesn't want to make Cal feel uncomfortable, he doesn't know about Leo's fetish, and Leo felt guilty for thinking of his friend as the unaware center of his fantasies. Leo's cheeks burn as he returns to the living room with the sodas. Cal had grabbed a second slice by then, but was struggling to keep up with his conversation between bites. The pizza pretty much disappeared before his eyes.

He must be starving, Leo thought.

Leo places the sodas on the coffee table within arm's reach and flops down onto the living room floor, propping his back up against the couch. His eyes scan Cal's body thoughtfully from across the apartment, but he remains silent. Cal is oblivious to Leo's silent admiration, focused solely on demolishing the pizza. In just a minute, he finishes his second slice and reaches for a third. Leo is putting the DVD in when he remembers he needs to eat too "Oh, wait let me grab a plate".

Leo walks into the kitchen to see Cal still at the kitchen table scarfing down pizza, his hands come away greasy and covered with sauce. He doesn't care. He devours the fourth slice like he's had no food in days. Leo playfully hits Cal on the shoulder, "cmon, man save some for me.. and don't eat it in here. I wanna watch the movie! Here, we can even bring the pizza boxes in there too." Leo meant that they should move to the living room after Cal finished his slice, but as Cal agrees and gets up, he shoves the whole slice into his mouth at once as they carried pizza boxes into the living room.

They settled down for the movie. Leo reached for a slice of pizza and realized quickly that it was already half gone. Cal had eaten maybe 4 slices already. He looks over to see how Cal managed to pack it all away when he realized he couldn't see his belly. Cal was wearing a loose zip-up sweatshirt and it gave nothing away.

The two watched the movie, eventually the first box was finished. Leo's eyes drifted back and forth between the TV and Cal. He can't help himself. Cal is too damn irresistible. The way he devoured that pizza—no shame, no second thought. Cal rarely even took a moment to breathe.. And there must be a reason Leo can't see his belly when he's been gorging himself, right? Cal's belly must be distended and swollen beneath that sweatshirt. His jeans must be so tight right now… Leo internally scolds himself after looking down and realizing it was in fact HIS pants – not Cal's – that were tight, albeit not because of his stomach.

He really shouldn't be thinking of Cal like this, Cal doesn't know what this is doing to Leo, he's not doing anything on purpose. Leo tries to shake these intrusive thoughts. He glances at Cal for a moment and finds him staring right back, mouth full of pizza. "Hey man, you good?" Leo tilted his head "What? Yeah, why?". Cal shrugs. "I dunno, I asked you if you thought Uwe Boll ever actually played Postal himself or not.. And you just were kinda staring off into space.." Leo blushes "oh, haha my bad, I think I just zoned out.."

Shit

Leo continued, "..Sorry, I get pretty engrossed in movies and stuff sometimes, you know?"

Cal grins bashfully and takes a big bite of whichever slice he was on now "Ah, well, I tend to talk over 'em a lot, so..." Leo waves him off, "Nah, Cal, don't apologize. I like hearing the shit you have to say about movies. Makes it more interesting." Cal grins and turns back to the screen, his eyes fixated on the television in front of him as he grabs the last slice in the third box, dropping the empty box to the floor. "Dude this pizza is soooo good. Im like, full, but I can't stop eating it."

Leo almost wishes Cal knew how he felt about these kinds of subjects so he wouldn't be so open about it, but how do you begin to tell your friend "hey this normal thing? It actually gets me rock hard, so unless you're trying to encourage that, maybe we could change the subject from you stuffing your belly with unhinged amounts of pizza, thanks". Leo takes the few seconds that Cal has his focus on the movie as an opportunity to gaze again at his now noticeably distended belly beneath his sweatshirt. The fabric is stretched taut, and tauter by the minute. His posture slowly changing as more and more pizza filled up his gut and weighed it down. His belly must be huge right now. Is there any way the shirt could hide it for much longer? Leo wondered.

The movie is almost over. Cal leans back in his seat, subtly sneaking his hand beneath his sweatshirt to try and sneakily rub his belly. He quickly stops as if trying to hide his discomfort. Maybe he's embarrassed? Leo tries not to think about it until during a quiet moment in the movie he hears a "grrgrgrrrrrrrrlllllee….." from beside him. "Woah Cal was that you?". Cal grins "yup, I think I'm *hic* getting full." Oh god. Leo was practically throbbing.

"O-oh, haha yeah I bet. You ate like 3 boxes right?" Cal looks at Leo like he's crazy for a moment before looking down at the empty boxes on the floor "no way, I only… I.. hm. Fuck, I guess I did!" Leo sees a flash of regret and fear on Cal's face for a split second before his fun attitude came back "I wasn't paying attention to the food, I was just eating while I watched the movie.." there were a few moments of silence. Cal's belly grumbles loudly again, interrupting the silence. His face is slightly flushed as he tries to hide how full he's getting from the pizza. He rubs his arm with nervous energy. "Man do you think we could crank down the heat a bit? I'm kinda hot" Leo nods and gets up, turning down a dial on the thermostat. As Leo is in the other room, Cal lets out a small burp into his fist and continues to rub his belly. Leo definitely heard it, but he wasn't gonna bring it up since Cal seemed to be trying to hide it anyways.

Back in his seat on the couch now, Leo shifts his legs and glances at his friend out of curiosity. Cal is still watching the movie, but Leo can hear his tummy churning as it tries to digest copious amounts of free pizza. He also hears Cal swallowing down burps as they rumbled up his throat. Maybe Cal thought that Leo couldn't hear these things, because he stayed outwardly confident and continued to act like he wasn't very full at all. Cal's belly rumbles loudly again, loudly enough that theres no denying what the sound was. "damn, haha" he plays it off casually before hiccuping, swallowing air as he did so and accidentally belching at the end. "hic-uRP-" his eyes widen. Leo is glad the lights are dim because hes sure that his face is probably red as a tomato right now.

"Sorry," Cal says "I guess I got a little carried away" He rubs his belly again not hiding it very well anymore, it's distended just above his belt, stretching the fabric as he stretches out on the couch. After a few moments, Cal shifts slightly, as if he's trying to find a comfortable position to relax. The movement does nothing but draw his sweatshirt tighter around his bulging belly as he leans back. The pressure is obviously becoming uncomfortable for Cal, he can't help but give a soft groan as he feels the distension of his gut. Leo looks away for a second as he feels his eyes almost roll back in his head. This CAN'T be real life. He turns back and takes a deep breath. He shouldn't be here, he feels bad. Cal is unintentionally acting out some of Leo's deepest fantasies and he doesn't even KNOW he's doing it..

Eventually the movie ended and the credits rolled. Leo yawned, it was getting late. They could probably just crash here on the couch and sleep like they usually do. Conversation continues as normal, both the boys winding down as they prepare to sleep soon. Another burp rumbles up Cal's throat and it's a wonder he can even keep up the facade. This happens a few more times before eventually, an especially forceful belch broke the barrier of silence.

"…. .. brUUUUUUURHP-Urp… urp…" Leo's head spun around, both boys' eyes were wide in shock. Leo tried to lighten the mood, he knew his friend seemed uncomfortable about letting on that he had overindulged, so Leo followed Cal's demeanor and decided to also play it cool.

Leo scrambled to think of what a normal person who isn't aroused by bloated belly aches would say in this situation. "Damn that was a big one haha, sick!"

Cal avoided eye contact and forced a small laugh "Ha, you know it… sorry though for real, that was gross of me" Leo tries to reassure him without making it obvious that he is MORE than okay with what's going on. "Dont worry about it, you're so self conscious about so many things that really aren't that big of a deal. I promise, I don't find you annoying or gross." Cal stayed silent, appearing to be studying Leo's face before sighing and sitting up slightly "Can I… be honest with you?"

Leo tries not to laugh "Dude, you can ALWAYS be honest with me, your my best friend!" Cal opened his mouth to speak before grimmacing as a loud airy gurgle broke the silence, followed by an involuntary soft and equally as airy burp… "I- *uuuorp*, god, my stomach is so full." He brought one other hand to the top his stomach and the other to the bottom, holding it with both hands weakly, unable to find the strength to hide it anymore "Leo, I'm not really fine, my stomach actually hurts really bad and I didnt *hic* I didn't wanna fuck up movie night so I didnt say anything." He quickly blurts out. That gets Leo's attention.

Leo is frozen for a moment, staring at Cal's tummy, bulging beneath his sweatshirt, creating a huge bump as if he were hiding a basketball underneath it. It was a wonder that his sweatshirt wasn't tearing apart from the seams. In fact, it looked like it was about to. Even with the dim light and the position he's in, it's almost impossible to hide it. "Cal.." Leo's voice almost cracks. "You didn't ruin movie night, I don't think you could if you tried. I like hanging out with you and I like you for who you are, I don't want you to feel scared to tell me things and I'm sorry if I did anything to make you feel that way-" Cal cuts him off "no, no, it's not you.. urgh.." he paused as an overstuffed rumble made its way up his throat, he went to release it as a burp, but it got stuck in his throat. "*sigh*… it's me, I don't wanna get into it but I promise you, there's something personal about me and it's my own thing to deal with, sorry if I came off as apprehensive or unusual about it, I'm just stubborn.."

Leo put his hand on Cal's shoulder. That's what friends do, right? He assured him "Man.. As long as you're happy."

The mood seems to have lifted after that little talk. Cal sighed out loud "*sighh* but for real my stomach hurts so bad, it feels like I'm being stabbed in the gut!" He said as he slowly rubbed back and forth on the upper curve of the bloated mass in his lap covered by his sweatshirt. Churning could be heard as well as bubbles in the back of Cal's throat just barely making it up before getting stuck. Cal groaned under his breath. Leo tries to contain his own excitement at the situation. He doesn't know how long he can keep his cool if Cal keeps making sounds like that.

Another quiet moment between the boys, their conversation drifting to a stop. Leo's attention is entirely directed at Cal's body, specifically his ever inflating abdomen. He could see the pressure taking a toll on Cal. The sweatshirt was getting hard to keep down as the tightness and heaviness of the distended flesh pressed on his lap. Cal tries his best to relax for the time being, not able to do anything about his situation at the moment. The sweatshirt's fabric continues to be stretched, but still it can't hide the growing bulge of stomach.

"G-god it hurts.. fuck…" Cal suddenly whispered under his breath, breaking the verbal silence. "Leo, I can't sleep, I feel sick.." Leo had long since pulled his shirt down to cover his own crotch, he was past the point of no return and had nothing left to do but hide his shame, and his main goal now was to either relieve himself or stop being horny, and one of those was near impossible in this situation. The other coming naturally.

He still tried to give helpful advice though, "Dude, it's probably the gas. You're probably bloated from all the cheese, not to mention the stuffed crust. You just gotta get the gas out"

Cal raises an eyebrow "how? I don't know how to burp on command, and I can't seem to get anything up.." Leo rolls his eyes and resists face-palming, "You.. by rubbing your stomach? Do you need me to do it for you?" He teased playfully. Cal leaned back, "oohg.. if you're offering, go ahead.." Leo's heart practically jumped into his throat as Cal gave him permission to touch his stomach. "Really?" Cal gives him a genuine nod. Leo got up onto the couch and moved behind the other boy, his hand going from Cal's shoulder to the front of the bulging sweatshirt, his fingers lightly pressing onto Cal's belly. He was immediately greeted with a low, loud rumbling that was probably from all the pizza, cheese, and soda, as well as the gas that had been accumulating throughout the night. He could feel the vibrations even through Cal's sweatshirt and undershirt "Holy shit, dude. You really are bloated". Cal's body shook and his voice trembled "Y-*..grrrr* oulgh.. yeah I usually never eat that much. I don't know how I even fit all that in me." The noises and vibrations sent a shiver down Leo's spine. Cal was almost like a giant, fleshy drum that he could feel vibrate when he touched it. He pressed his hands onto it again, but this time he gently rubbed circles into Cal's gut, listening to the rumblings as he did so.

The sensation and the noises made him euphoric. Cal suddenly spoke up "Hey I don't want to be weird or anything but are you like, into this?" Leo's heart sank and he felt his life flash before his eyes, his hands lifting up off of Cal's belly as he froze in place. "Wh… uh. What."

Cal repeated himself "like, are you into this?" Leo doesn't know what to say. How did Cal even know? Was he being too eager, too straightforward? He knew he shouldn't have actually offered a belly rub, surely Cal was just exaggerating when he made the offer. "I'm.. what made you think that?" Cal exhaled out of his nose jovially "because I can feel your boner on my back dude." Leo's eyebrows furrowed ashamedly, he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Cal noticed and quickly added "It's okay if you are! I just.. I wanna know and make sure that's the case because I.. uh" Leo didn't dare look up but his ears honed in on what Cal said as he continued to speak "..I am."

Leo let out a deep sigh and leaned on Cal, resting his head on his shoulder "ohthankgod… Well in that case, yeah. Uh. Was it.. really that obvious?" Cal shook his head "Not really, I was actually really worried that I was the one going over the top by using this as an opportunity to stuff myself silly, I wanted to take advantage, since it's not like we have a surplus of food to be eating on the regular." Leo lifted his head "That's kinda clever. Yeah, you went apeshit on those pizzas, how many did I bring, 4? There's only one box left and there's already half a slice eaten from it."

Cal groans, the thought of food making his stomach churn even louder. Leo put his hands back on Cal's stomach and continued to rub it again. Cal suddenly tensed up and made a painful, scrunched up face, Leo could feel a particular pocket of air beneath his hands and massaged the side of Cal's hard distended tummy. Cal began to groan before he was cut off by a huge belch that sounded like the damned and digested souls of every pizza slice he's shoved into his gut. "Ugh-hUUUUUUURRRRP..'' There was a small moment of silence from everyone and everything including Cal's raunchy belly before everything shifted back into gear. Leo had to look down and check to make sure he didn't cream his jeans.

Cal let out a relieved sigh "oh Jesus dude, that helped a lot" he sounded thankful as he took another deep breath. Leo felt a sudden surge of confidence after giving such successful belly rubs, he'd never done this before! He wasn't sure this was real life. If it was a dream he didnt ever wanna wake up.

His hand kept moving, circling and rubbing across Cal's bloated midsection, the soft fabric of his sweatshirt stretched over his stomach felt almost like a nice soft stress ball to Leo… more like a dollar store stress ball made of hard foam that's near impossible to squeeze comfortably, so you mostly just hold it and caress it. Except Cal's belly wasn't made of cheap foam, and was safely confined within his clothes. His very tight clothes. Every now and then his fingers would graze lightly against the bloated boy's chest when he would rub a bit higher up, drawing soft gasps from Cal. The sweatshirt was baggy but it wasn't all that thick, Leo could swear he felt Cal's nipples, now hard, through the layers of fabric after accidentally brushing past the area a few minutes in.

Leo didn't say anything, there was really nothing he felt he needed to say. He just kept rubbing and listening to Cal's belly gurgle and his occasional burping- none rivaled that first one though.

Leo eventually began to think aloud "So now that everything's all out in the open, I'm kinda curious, if you're okay with sharing.. uh. What do you specifically.. enjoy?" Cal leaned his head back slightly, shifting the rest of his body closer to the boy behind him in the process "honestly I just like to indulge once in a while. I- *urrrp* ah.. 'scuse me, I'm not a health freak or anything but I like keeping a slim figure and eating healthy. Mostly 'cause even small amounts of junk food upset my stomach. Not to mention my favorite junk foods usually contain dairy, and I'm lactose intolerant. So if I ate like this every day I would probably spend all my free time in pain anyways." Leo nodded sympathetically, "Yeah that sucks, man". Cal continued "s'not all that bad, it would just be really inconvenient. That's why I only go all out like this on special occasions, a few times a year."

Leo hummed and continued to rub in a circular motion across Cal's belly "Makes sense. So.. are you just enjoying yourself now or is there anything else you're uh, 'into'?" Cal let out a small groan as Leo's hand brushed against his chest again "ghh-*buhurrrp*.. mm.. I don't think so. I can't think of any better way to go about satisfying my cravings. I like to feel full every now and then, push my limits and see how far I can go. I usually get full after eating even just small amounts, but I've found that if I keep going beyond and just continue eating anyways, I can actually pack away a whole lot more before my body starts to stop just hurting and starts physically rejecting and ejecting it" he hiccuped after he spoke and giggled before finishing his sentence "..so I'm just kinda relaxing right now.. and.. the company is nice too." he added in with a small smile. "Why, what about you? You into anything else?"

Leo was still shocked that his friend happened to not only accept his freaky fetish, but SHARE it, he didn't want to move things too fast or sound too eager.. but Cal basically admitted his secrets for him just now, and Leo feels like Cal deserves the same honesty from him. "Well.. I'm into people doing what you do. I'm not really into it when it's my own stomach or anything for some reason, but I don't really mind. I wouldn't really be opposed to it, I think I'm just more into… experiencing it uh, secondhand?" Leo, lost in thought, pressed down harder than usual for a second as he rubbed, Cal let out a muffled burp into his fist "*grrrrph*.. no, that makes sense, I get it."

Leo, feeling more grounded and comfortable, added onto his explanation "I've never done anything about it before, but I.. fantasize.. a lot, and I'm really into the idea of feeding y- someone. Like being the one to help you push your limits." Leo felt a tingle run down his spine as he finally admitted his fantasies out loud, he felt Cal sit up a little bit. Worried that maybe that freaked him out he added "Sorry if that's too weird.."

Cal laughed, then sat up completely, beginning to speak before the air that had been trapped rushed up as he sat straighter, "*BUUURP* agh, phew! It's okay, Leo, that's hot". Leo blinked. Very blunt... but he wasn't complaining.

Cal put his own hands on his stomach, feeling it for himself before looking back up at Leo "I'm still super full, but my tummy doesn't feel like it's being stabbed anymore! Like, I don't feel as full anymore!" Leo smirked "It's cause I burped you like a little baby"

Cal shoved Leo lightly "Oh c'mon, you loved it! Hey, there's still some pizza left right? We could do your feeding thing!" Leo's face brightened but he hesitated to accept the offer. "I mean, we could always do this another time. I could wait however long you want until you're ready to dedicate a night to this, besides, aren't you really full?" Cal technically was full, his stomach had stopped churning as hard and thus wasn't in as much pain at the moment, but that just meant the food was sitting in his stomach undigested.

Cal's expression stayed the same as he answered unexpectedly confidently, "But I'm less full now! It hurt earlier, but I wasn't really at my limit!" Leo was skeptical "You sounded like you were gonna projectile vomit on the carpet earlier if I hadn't rubbed your belly" Cal scoffs, "No, I was just psyched out! I was caught off guard 'cause you were here with me and I didn't know if I would have been freaking you out or not. Really, I've been doing this for years" Leo stood up and sighed "If you say so 'mr professionally licensed glutton', but I'm new to doing any of this and I really don't want to push you too far and have to clean up undigested pizza out of the carpet. At least not tonight."

Cal shrugs. "I'll be fine, at least this time. I promise." Leo looked unsure, but in the end he sat down behind Cal again and started to slowly rub his hands over the mass of Cal's distended midsection once again.

Truthfully, Cal was still pretty sensitive, and the light brush of Leo's hands felt like a very comfortable massage. "Alright, Cal. I'll do this, but I want you to tell me if it's getting uncomfortable, and we can stop. Don't make me feed you until you puke, that's gross". Cal chuckled, "I won't puke if you make sure to rub my tummy!" Leo sighed as he got up to grab the last box of pizza. "Alright but I'm grabbing the trash can just in case. Get comfy, Cal".

Cal held his still quite full belly, realizing now just how bloated he was, how his sweatshirt stretched to fit over his overstuffed stomach. He carried its weight in his hands as he shifted over to one side of the couch, propping himself up against a pillow on the armrest, letting out a low airy belch as he did so. He called out to Leo "Hey grab some more soda too, I'm thirsty!"

Cal shifted slightly as he settled in on the couch, his legs stretched out in front of him. To Leo, he almost looked like he was getting ready to watch television rather than stuff himself full of greasy, processed pizza for his friend's enjoyment. Leo walked into the room holding the box and a 2-liter bottle of orange soda. He sat down beside Cal in the same manner, making as little noise as possible while he settled. The air was thick with anticipation - both boys knew what was about to happen, but neither of them dared acknowledge it outright. Cal decided to break the awkward silence and be the first to step up, lord knows Leo won't.

Cal reaches for the box to grab a slice, but his round bloated tummy is preventing him from bending that far. He recoils and grabs his stomach, "oof.. oough.. I don't think I can keep leaning down and over to grab slices.. you're gonna have to feed 'em to me.."

Leo blushed, flustered, as if this isn't exactly what they had both agreed and planned to do mere seconds ago.

He was about to be the one to fill up Cal, and he wanted to do a good job. He held the slice up to the eager boy in front of him, sitting between his legs and reaching over his hard bloated tummy. His crotch just about touching Cal's as he sat there on the couch between his legs and overstuffed stomach. Cal looked at him hungrily.

"O-open wide," Leo says quietly, holding the greasy slice of pizza toward Cal's mouth. Cal, his expression eager and expectant, opens his mouth taking a large bite. His chewing speed slower than before. His stomach was already packed full, it was a struggle to force himself to choke down even MORE food, but he was determined to try. He chewed more thoroughly, as if his body was trying to delay the inevitable. He grunted and a small burp slipped out though his full mouth while he chewed. He really was stuffed to the brim. He swallows, and continues this process until the slice is gone. He looks to Leo for more.

"Another" he says, his mouth still full of his previous bite. Leo pushes the next slice close to Cal's mouth wearily "You look really full, dude. Your tummy feels tight as a drum.." Leo mumbled as he gently rubbed around the warm surface of the sweatshirt, massaging the churning belly underneath. Cal chews and swallows, before cringing, and speaking up "urgh.. wait.." Leo froze cautiously as Cal continued "..I'm thirsty, hand me the soda." Leo rolled his eyes as Cal chugged down a few gulps of the fizzy soda, resulting in almost IMMEDIATE burping.

After this, Leo was sure Cal would be finished, but alas..

"…and more," Cal commands after his belch-break, swallowing and panting as Leo continues rubbing his belly gently. A low moan escapes his lips, his gaze glued to Leo. The bulge under his tight stretchy sweatshirt shifting slightly from his breathing. Leo was getting ready to reach for another slice when Cal groaned "Wait, just a second.. for real this time.. hng.. cramp. My tummy…" both his hands flew to his belly which was rumbling ominously. His hands moved upwards to his chest as they were quickly replaced with Leo's, "We can stop now if you want, you look like you're gonna burst!"

Cal shook his head in protest, "Just a cramp, just need a break.." Leo felt the sickly churning through the sweatshirt as he rubbed it, and without even pushing, a bubbly fart escaped from Cal's behind, rumbling on Leo's crotch right in front of it. Leo winced "Oh that smells terrible.. somethings up in your belly, I think you should-" Cal interrupted Leo, "another slice!"

It was quite full in there and this whole thing was making Cal feel hot, uncomfortable, sick, and horny all at once. "Ooh, man… my stomach is just.. bulging with all this." He took the remaining crust and devoured it in a single huge mouthful. He paused for a moment, the weight of the food in his stomach shifting as he let out a stream of airy farts, every single one preceded with a vibrating rumble from his belly. "*Pfffft*… *pfffffttttt*.. oh god.. *buurp* oh- *pffft*…*pfftt*… *prrt*.. fuck.. Im sorry, I can't even stop it." Cal said. Leo held the last slice of pizza in his hand, "okay… last slice… don't pop, man.."

Cal's stomach bulged obscenely inside his snug sweatshirt as he ate the last slice of pizza. He was in such a state that when his mouth was busy chewing, several burps forced themselves free through his nose in rapid succession. He moaned after each one. Leo didn't seem to mind, though, he just stared at Cal with eyes half-lidded and a bulge full-mast. He was practically shaking at this point, Leo felt his heat radiating onto the poor stuffed boy. Cal's stomach, already full and distended from the prior intake and now the last slice was working overtime to digest said pizza. His body was heating up from all the churning. Leo could feel every bit of it, his crotch was also getting hot.

Cal was sweating. He looked almost delirious from pleasure- and pain. His face was flushed, his eyes glassy. Leo comforts him as he finishes chewing and swallows, his stomach rumbles again. Cal tilted his head back, trying to relax his cramped muscles. A long wet burp shot out of his mouth before he had time to react, and he moaned aloud. Leo, worried, suggests "Hey maybe you should.. take your sweatshirt off. You seem really hot, like you're sweating. That has to be making you even more nauseous.." Cal groaned, hiccuped and replied "y-yeah. Guhhh… gonna.. take it off.." he weakly pulled at the zipper, struggling to get it over the bump of his aching belly. He whimpered as dangerous toots slid out. Once the zipper got over the curve of his belly, it practically unzipped itself the rest of the way down on its own. He wiggled his arms out and Leo helped toss the sweatshirt to the side. Cal was just in a thin elastic tank top now. He whined "m- *muuurp* shit, my belly hurts.. so full.. *frrtt..phhhtttrrft*… hng, *bur-URP*- ugh! I don't feel good.."

Leo was rubbing faster now. Another fart, another groan. The smell was intense and made Leo's eyes water. Cal's eyes werent any better, they were glazed over, his head lolled back he let out a silent puff of air from his mouth, his belches were getting risky, some of them he was forced to swallow down to avoid anything else other than air coming up, and he only had the tingle in the back of his throat to warn him. His stomach churned angrily, gurgling and undulating in time with Leo's rubbing. His belly was still distended and full, his white tank-top riding up just above his belly button. Leo listened as Cal's stomach emitted queasy grumbles and overpacked noises that would eventually be desperately released through either end. "I told you you were gonna feel sick, dude.. you look 8 months pregnant"

Cal laughed "I sure feel like it…. *hic-bRUUUP* mnnppph god… how am I supposed to walk after this? I think I'm *hic* too bloated for my own good. Ooooh… nnnngh.. and it feels like my stomach is doing an impression of a washing machine. *UURRRPPPP* oh- don't stop rubbing.. or.. I'm gonna have a premature birth!" Leo couldn't help but laugh. Cal turned his head and looked up. They locked eyes a moment as Leo was rubbing a sensitive spot just above Cal's belly button.

Leo's eyes widened as he blushed and unconsciously grinded his hips into Cal's crotch in front of him. His breath was hot and fast. Cal noticed, and warned his friend "My tummy hurts.. I feel so gassy, I think I need to fart.. uhm.. I'm not gonna *hic* warn you anymore, mostly because I don't think I can hold in anything anymore.." Leo never broke eye contact "That's okay, you're like a blimp. Let it all out, I'd rather you gas the place up than shit your pants on me".

Cal smiled and went to laugh before he was cut off by a sick burp, followed by a stream of wet, shorter burps.

Leo looked like he had gotten exactly what he wished for and more. In the face of a belching, gassy Cal he remained undaunted. He had a gleam in his eyes and a bulge in his pants that were both growing by the second. Cal was so full that he needed more than Leo's hand rubbing him. His own two fists were working him over in between big belchy moans and groans. His stomach was grumbling ominously, begging to get it over with sooner rather than later. "*bUUUURRRRRP* ooohh.. I feel queasy.." his statement punctuated by short, painful, but constant little farts as his stomach fought with the contents inside of it.

"Your tummy is gonna feel so much better after this, Cal." Leo said, rubbing and humping with more vigor, the rubbing on both Cal's belly and.. elsewhere.. helping things move along inside of him. Leo is on his knees, rubbing Cal's distended belly with both hands, spreading Cal's legs apart with his own as he worked. Cal's own hands were working higher up on his own gut, massaging and kneading. His belly was an air filled balloon ready to burst. Cal lets out a low moan and squirms as another deep and wet burp erupts. All the while, Cal could feel tingles of pleasure building up in his bloated guts, but the queasy, sick feeling was still going strong. This whole thing was making him feel strange and oddly arousing in a way he'd never felt before.

Leo saw the look on his friend's face and his hands gripped his swollen tummy. "It's okay, mnff... you can... let it happen... anytime."

Cal nodded, his hands rubbing his engorged belly in time with Leo's rhythm, as the blonde boy sacrificed a hand from belly rubbing duty to help keep himself steady above Cal.

Cal grunted as he continued massaging his distended gut. Leo's other rubbing was growing much more intense now. He was almost shaking Cal as he did so. Cal's mouth hung open and he was moaning with a slightly desperate tone. "Come on, dude.. hurry it up.. I'm so…" his moan was cut off by another wet belch. His body shook with the force of it and he clenched his teeth in an effort to relax and hold back the next one. It was no use. Another belch, and another, and another, with rapid, short gaps in between. Leo was now the one groaning, reaching his peak. "I'm.. unf.. hah.. Cal, I'm close… just hold on.." Leo was delirious with pleasure he'd only ever dreamed of experiencing.

Cal felt his body both nauseously ache at one part and throb with desire in another. An unusual mix that left him feeling like he was gonna puke regardless. He got himself into this willingly though, and has nobody to blame but himself, and he certainly doesn't wanna ruin Leo's night. He whines and puts all his focus into keeping his food inside of him.

Cal was struggling as he massaged his distended belly in time with his buddy's increasingly feverish rubbing. He let out a long, wet belch, "Hnnnnnnnghhhh my god, my stomach is so… *huuu-UUrrrpppp*- so full, I'm… I'm gonna be so sick."

Leo was getting close, very close, and he could feel his friend's stomach and other… parts… tensing up as he got ready to finish. Leo was breathing almost as hard as Cal at this point, gripping the stuffed boy's thigh with his one hand and holding himself steady with the other, trying not to jostle his buddy's tummy.

Leo is panting like a dog, his face bright red with effort and excitement. His body was flushed and his breath was heavy with the scent of the pizza they ate. Sweat trickled down his temples and forehead as he finally finished.

Suddenly, Cal lets out another long belch as all of that food starts moving again like a train. His stomach rumbles in discomfort at the pace Leo was pushing things along, but there's no stopping or slowing it now.

Cal's face grows more and more flushed as he moans and tries to keep his guts in its place. Leo rides out his climax, barely even worrying about how he's ruined his underwear in the process.

Snapping back to reality, he realized the true state that Cal was in and swiftly grabbed the trash can, "f-fuck. I'm sorry dude. You're gonna be okay. Just let it out, don't worry about accidents, I have the trash right here.. hold on.." he shifted Cal over slightly so that if any… spilling.. happened it would be in the trash can instead of on the floor. Cal's stomach was round and rock hard, the contents inside swirling like a greasy, bubbly storm. The movement caused a rancid fart to seep out slowly from Cal, the smell making him feel even more sick.

"Ugh.. god, *hic-HURP-" Leo… I'm so full…" the smell was terrible, the pizza obviously having not digested properly. Cal tried to hold on. But he couldn't hold it in for much longer. His hands resting on the impossibly bloated tummy that lay heavily in his lap.

Between queasy, wet, uncontrollable belches that forced their way out of his system, he tried to apologize "Leo.. grrrroowl ungh.. you w- *UUUR*ere right. It was too *urp* much.. fuck! *bruuuup.. burrp.. hurp* gah.. I should have listened.. to you…" he just couldn't stand the pressure anymore and stopped trying to speak when a series of loud, wet belches forced their way out of him. The distended mass in his belly seemed to vibrate and throb in rhythm with his digestive noises.

Leo tried to reassure him, "It's okay, I shouldn't have gone along with it.. we were both caught up in the moment, just breathe.." Cal gasped for air in between belches. "Ohhh fuu-*URP*… I'm gonna… gurggl*urp* Ughhhnnn…!" Cal couldn't hold it in anymore. His full belly convulsed as the undigested remains of the greasy pizza seamlessly flowed out of his mouth. He didn't even get the chance to burp again before a second wave brought up even more. As soon as he could, Cal cried out and gasped for air… before promptly being sick once more.

It dribbled into the trashcan as Cal struggled to remain upright on the couch; he was so sick. After the first few times, every heave was followed by a long, wet belch, the air that had been mixing with everything coming up in between. Cal gripped Leo's arms tightly as his stomach cramped and growled and heaved, the force of which made his whole body jerk and shake.

Cal was too nauseated to even protest being held and rubbed by Leo as he continued to puke. As sick and unpleasant as it was, Cal felt oddly grateful. Cal continued to vomit, his face flushed and heaving as more wet belches spewed out of his mouth. "Ughhh… *hic* I'm not done.. *gurp* I know I'm not.. god I ate so much!" The next few waves felt almost like they would never pass as Cal struggled in pain, and pleasure from relief. Leo almost felt sick himself seeing just how much came up, thinking of how much went IN and how full Cal was. Cal's eyes began to look droopy as he felt his mind slipping away. He definitely reached his limit tonight. He was still sick, but moreso spitting up in the trashcan and gagging than full on vomiting anymore. His mind cleared up just enough to make a mental note to himself: 4 whole pizzas over the course of one night. That was his limit.

Leo, feeling queasy himself from having to witness Cal spewing inches away from him still let Cal rest his head on his lap, trying to avoid laying on his stomach or adding any nore pressure to it. He looked down at his friend, face flush, skin glistening with sweat, nose running, exhausted from the exertion. He couldn't imagine being in his shoes, but at least he could help him, even if it meant cleaning up the result.

"Are you okay, Cal? Do you think you're done?" Leo asked, stroking the hair out of Cal's eyes that were already starting to close. "Maybe… *hic* .. I'm getting sleepy." He mumbled, resting his head further into Leo's lap. Leo would enjoy this a lot more if his lap wasn't uncomfortably hot and sweaty, and parts of it wet and sticky inside from using them as friction to help bring him to his release earlier.

He grabbed a pillow from behind him and carefully moved it under Cal's head as he slipped out from underneath his sore, sleepy buddy. "I'm gonna go empty the trash can, I'm gonna run to the dumpster, I'll be like 5 minutes MAX, do you think you'll be fine until I get back?" Cal hummed "mmhmm.. *hic* I feel so much better… that needed to come out so bad…. oh my god I really overdid it…"

This experience, as repulsive as it sounded, was far from unpleasant to Cal. His body was still slick with sweat and fluids, and his stomach felt sore, but the relief of having gotten everything out was more than worth it to him. He didn't even mind being held and rubbed as his body expelled the contents of what he had eaten with such gluttony. He felt bad for involving Leo in it, if anything.

Cal sighed as he settled more into the pillow beneath him. His stomach still churned routinely, but he no longer felt dizzy with nausea, and he was once again in that familiar state of just being very, very full. He was in a pretty comfortable position though, it had to be said. His body felt oddly relaxed and yet, his stomach was still swollen and achy. He felt lighter, like his body had been cleansed. He also felt something… else. He turned his head as much as he could without moving his body. His eyes were drooped as his gaze was stuck forward, fixated on the doorway that Leo was to return from. After a few minutes he heard footsteps. He tried to force himself awake out of a half-sleep. "Leo?…" he tried to ask, but with the way his head was positioned and how sleepy he was, he only managed to croak out a few barely audible words.

"Leo? you back?"

Leo returned from outside the apartment door, the trashcan now empty and the trashbag inside replaced. He set it down and sighed as he crouched down to be level with Cal, who was still laying on the couch with his head against the pillow. "You awake?" He gently wiped the sweat off of Cal's forehead. Cal smiled sleepily. "Mm… sort of.. uhm. how are you feeling about this whole thing?" Cal was referring to both the pizza and their rather intimate session as a result.

Leo thought for a moment "Hm.. I feel tired, but probably not as tired as you." There was a pause before he continued "…I don't want you to feel bad, if I was in your position I think I would be so embarrassed that I would die.. I wanna be all 'I told you so' but that can wait."

Cal laughed in the form of exhaling through his nose. He understood. Leo kept talking, "I could have lived without you puking your guts out, that kind of ruined it.."

Cal was awake but still dazed enough to not think twice before speaking, "but you came, right?". Leo blushed. Cal was always so straightforward about these things. "Uh. Y-yeah. Absolutely I did. It was immediately cancelled out within like a minute, but up until then… I think I liked it." Cal grinned. "I liked it too. I mean, I definitely hated it at some moments, specifically the ones where I was barfing, but that's over now and I'm not past-me so overall I count it as a success. I found my limit!" Leo grimaced "You sure did.."

Cal continued "and I wouldn't have pushed myself to even go that far without you!"

Leo resisted the urge to lightly shove his friend in fear that he might jostle him too much. "Then maybe I shouldn't have, if this is what happens when I feed you and help you then maybe I'll just stick to watching you gobble down pizza from afar like I used to" Cal giggled. "Well now you don't have to, because my limit is 4 boxes of pizza, just never push me beyond that! Easy math!"

Leo shook his head "I just gotta say.. if this is like a yearly thing or maybe even a once-a-month thing I would be more than happy to help you push your limits.. but now that you know the result I'm not sure about 4.. maybe 1…" Cal playfully groaned "ughhh fine!", then laughed and then turned his head to face Leo. He was smiling as he looked at his friend while trying to keep his eyes open. "Hey, Leo.. thanks for indulging me. You're always there for me and I don't know if I thank you enough for it." Leo shook his head, "Don't worry about it. Thank you for not judging me. You're never afraid to be yourself and you make me want to do the same."

The two fell asleep in the living room, Cal on the couch, and Leo on the floor. They grew much closer that day, and their bond will forever be strengthened, all thanks to surplus pizza.

[hathousehappenings]

89. Untwist of Fate.

I've been waiting an embarrassing long time to do this episode. ^^; I think I need to explain...

To ME, this episode is clearly an homage to The Wizard of Oz. There's a twister, a guy who needed to be convinced to help because he's cowardly, someone who is trying to get the heart of his character, a man behind a curtain... I'm gonna put all my thoughts below a cut at the bottom of this post because there's a lot!

When I had finished the sketch for this one I showed it to a couple people to see if it was too weird an idea for me to complete. They looked like I was insane that I would even ask them. ((It was then that I realized that the people I live with are no fun and just don't get me...))

I also decided to do a bonus picture of Queenie as Glinda just cause. I wanted to let her dress up too.

OKAY, and now here are the thoughts of a crazy person...

It's been obvious to me that from my first watch of this episode this all based off Wizard of Oz (the movie, not the book).

For instance, Hare is the Wizard because he’s trying to run the show, Alice is obviously Dorothy because she gets swept up in the twister, Dum is the Cowardly Lion because he was cowardly about helping test out cures for Alice, Rabbit is the Tinman because he’s trying to figure out his motivation (aka: get to the heart) of his character in the play and Queen is Glinda because she floats in at the very end and solves everything easily.

But, as I started thinking about it, more connections made themselves aware to me. And then I watched the episode!

First off, when we get to Wonderland there’s a little tune that plays as Hare’s back is to us in the director’s chair. That tune is very reminiscent of a tune in Oz called “Optimistic Voices”. It’s the song we hear as Dorothy and her friends come out of the poppy field and make way to the gates of the Emerald City. I actually caught that on my first watch through, so that wasn’t new to me. Rabbit is trying to figure out his motivation (aka: get to the heart of his character, Tinman) and Alice is just kinda there sitting around daydreaming.

Then Hare talks about how great their acting is and I start to realize something else: there are a ton of red props in this episode. I’ll brake it down as we go, but in this scene alone there’s Hare’s beret and bandana he used to mop his face, the ladder he climbs all over (I want to be that ladder) and the flowers that are thrown to them at the end of the song. This song is about Hare telling them what good actors they are and how they need to keep doing it, keep the act up. That sentiment feels very Wizard to me.

Next scene is “Throwing up Riddles”. More red props here: Hatter’s grill spatula and the writing on his apron and the plates are all a variant of red or its secondary color (red, pink or purple). They also talk about hogs/pigs a lot, which is what freaks Dorothy out in the beginning of the movie (she falls in the hog pen). Hatter is being silly and yet somehow smart with all these riddles, but he’s still acting like an idiot. Wisdom even though his head is empty? Sounds like Scarecrow! Then they get the news about the twister and run around like idiots.

Alice gets sucked up into the twister in the next scene. Obviously the twister is from Oz, but the first noises we hear while in the cyclone are chicken noises and that’s the same as in the film. You could argue that the Cheshire cat is supposed to be Toto in that he’s an animal who doesn’t contribute a whole hell of a lot to the story. I dunno. There are a ton of red items in the twister, though. A red velvet cake, red chicken, red candles, a red toad… Just because, I dunno.

Finding Alice after the twister only has the trash bucket and the chattering red teeth as the red props. All the men gather around to help the little girl character, which you could argue is like Oz. But that’s kinda low hanging fruit.

The “Interest of Science” scene is, well… interesting. We don’t have many red props here (a red velvet cake on the table and the satellite dish that Dee puts on Dum’s head) but we have some lyrics in the song that apply. Dee says “you might nearly be a hero, if you merely wouldn’t fear it” (!!!!) and the line about feeding him “to the lion”. Also, Hatter dropping random words of wisdom is odd. Like, he’s actually smart but just acts stupid. More connections to him and the Scarecrow.

Caterpillar’s story time does nothing to help my argument. There are no red props and his story is lame, kinda as per the usual. However, Caterpillar also doesn’t help them because he didn’t understand what they were asking for help about. So did it negate this scene? You decide.

This is the final Wonderland scene. We have three new red props: the red stripe on Hatter’s popcorn bucket (eeeeh?), the red curtain on the stage and Rabbit’s whole Bunny-o costume is red. Hatter is being brainless (as he does), Rabbit is still trying to find the heart of his character and Hare is still trying to keep the act up. He actually becomes the “man behind the curtain” after the how starts! And he keeps peeping out to watch everything.

Queen floats in like I don’t even know what. She’s been gone the bulk of the episode, other than to ask where Alice was during the twister. She also pulls the whole “you had the power all along" crap that Glinda pulls in the movie.

Rabbit is in red (ruby slippers) and Alice is in yellow (yellow brick road)!

The Red Queen and Alice skip through the forest in the very end, which I think is fitting because of the red and yellow symbolism.

After EVERYTHING I think the parallels are undeniable. They made some very conscious decisions about this episode to link it to Oz. I feel clever for having “figured it out”, but I might also just be letting my pride get to my head. I wouldn’t be surprised.

Anyway, any thoughts on this? Am I just late to the party and all this was supposed to be obvious?

[frodo-with-glasses]

25 Questions with Phil Dragash: YES, SERIOUSLY!

So y'all know how I was reviewing Phil Dragash's audiobook of LotR last year, but kinda fell off somewhere in the middle of Rohan?? Well, guess what! A couple weeks ago, I received a tumblr message from the man himself, saying he'd read through all my reviews, had really enjoyed the little blast from the past, and was open to answering questions if I had any!

So of course, I had LOTS of questions.

The first one being: "Are you actually the real Phil Dragash??"

But I'm delighted to say that after exchanging emails with the work email listed on his website, I can confidently say that it is the real dude, and I've had a blast chatting with him! So for those of you who urged I listen to this audiobook—especially @laurelindorenan for her glowing recommendation—and for everyone else who likes the audiobook and/or enjoyed my reviews: I am delighted to present, ladies and gentlehobbits, this peek behind the curtain!

But of course I'm putting it all below the cut, because this man rambles like I do 🤣

Obligatory disclaimer: All opinions presented by Mr. Dragash are his own, I am not necessarily condoning any of them; please do not come after me for his opinions regarding pineapple on pizza.

25 QUESTIONS, LET'S GO!

1. Tell me how you got into Lord of the Rings!

I was ten years old when my dad took me to the library, and found a VHS copy of Ralph Bakshi’s 1978 animated Lord of the Rings film. I was already a fan of the “Chronicles of Narnia” and my dad just handed the tape to me and said “Look, C.S. Lewis’s friend made this”. I watched it, and had no idea what was going on. It was so hard to understand.

Fast forward to the year 2002 when “Fellowship” was out on DVD, and we had a movie night at my older cousin’s place, and watched the film for the first time. My 13 year old self was enraptured by it. Dad bought the DVD first thing the next day, and I’ve been a fan ever since! I, my brother, and our dad watched “Return of the King” in theaters four times, which was saying something, considering we only ever saw a movie once in cinemas. Between “The Return of the King” opening in December ‘03, I picked up the books and read (as well as I could) through them. A lot of friends kept joking “tell us how the damn story ends!”, good times.

2. When and how did you decide to make this audiobook? What’s the story behind the entire project? 

I was a very ambitious lad, and my first and biggest interest was filmmaking. I used to direct short films with my friends ever since my 11th birthday, and was the youngest in class at the filmschool I attended a few years later. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that I had massive ambitions to direct “the Hobbit”, which is silly in retrospect considering I was 16 years old at the time. I even sent my portfolio and DVDs of my films to Peter Jackson’s manager (who actually got back to me with a wonderful response, despite not being able to accept my ‘completely reasonable’ offer) When I was heartbroken and torn to pieces knowing I wouldn’t be directing the movie, a few more years went by, and I decided to reread some chapters of the “Lord of the Rings” books. I remember really well that this was late at night, laying in bed, and going through “King of the Golden Hall” and seeing how close to the movies it was, but also far more expanded. I thought “my extensive home-made short movies experience with sound design and sound mixing could work here, and I could just read a few chapters and try to make the soundscape as realistic as possible. Why not try it?” 

So, the next day I tried. The first two chapters I tried were “King of the Golden Hall” and “A Journey in the Dark” (which partly answers your other question about that chapter). I was so absolutely surprised by how well it was going, that I decided to upload them onto YouTube in March 2010 I think. I got a fairly good response, and I was planning on doing a few more random chapters. I never intended to do the whole thing. But this one comment on YouTube I’ll always remember, it said: “I think you should go from start to finish, because you’ll probably get used to the characters and sounds and people can also follow along in the story gradually”.

Taking that suggestion to heart, in August 2010 I went from Chapter 1 onward. 

3. Were you inspired by any other audiobook versions of LotR (such as the BBC radio drama)?

I was not, I actually haven’t listened to the BBC Radio drama until far ahead into the project I was doing. I did some research on what other audio productions anyone did with LOTR, from The Mind’s Eye edition, to the ‘60s Hobbit Radio Play; so I felt pretty confident. I just fell in love with the way the films brought Middle-Earth to life and seeing their incredible dedication for authenticity (from the props department, to the music), you really couldn’t do any better than that visually or audibly - at least in my opinion. I just wanted to hear Tolkien’s text but with the realisation of the films. 

However, if you listen to Chapter 1 of TTT, and hear how Legolas laments their absence from not being there to help Boromir at Amon Hen, you can clearly hear the inflection from the BBC Radio play’s version. I just lifted that because I thought it was a fantastic way to deliver the line.

4. Did you have any rituals for “getting into character” before recording?

If I were to show you the raw unedited recording sessions, you’d probably be surprised at how underdeveloped it is! I had no real rituals or warmups, I just went for it. Usually went in cold, and tried reading the entire chapter and doing all the voices at once. Then I’d be exhausted, and afterwards start cutting all the mistakes, and separating each character into different tracks – and then re-recording 50%-70% of it, as I was laying in the sounds. 

I think any character just needs a few words for me to say in their voice, and that helps for the rest of their dialogue. For Aragorn it was usually: “You cannot wield it! None of us can.” for Pippin it was: “Sometimes”, just random things that make things ‘click’ in my head. If I got lost or didn’t feel like the performances were working, I’d simply just watch scenes from the films to hear the real actors again!

5. Who was your favorite character to voice? Who was your least favorite? And why?

People who know me, know I love doing the villains. Sauron, the orcs, the Nazgûl, etc. I just love the idea of personifying things that scare you. Something completely the opposite of who you are. Always a fun time! Any character I can nail extremely accurately always makes me happy, but I’m always very critical of my own work, so it’s a rare thing.

My least favorite characters to voice are: Imrahil, Denethor, Arwen, Celeborn, Galadriel, Erestor, Lindir, Haldir, Goldberry, Gildor… I think the pattern is pretty obvious if you realize that I am incapable of providing a satisfactory voice that feels unique enough. They just sound to me like “I wish I had a broader range. They weren’t done justice.” I have feelings for most of the characters in this situation, but I’m a mere mortal. I can’t do all of them as well as I wish I could. I wish Aragorn was more like Viggo Mortensen’s voice (I tried with the nasally yells you mentioned!), I wish Gandalf had a richer tone, I wish Saruman sounded more majestic, and I wish Frodo was - in retrospect- more older sounding, too. There’s so much I wish I could do better, but to hell with it, I tried.

Fun fact: my least-favorite to voice are also Orcs because they destroy my throat after a while. Which is ironic, because of my first statement.

6. I noticed that you gave the men of Rohan and Gondor slightly different dialects! Are you pulling from any real-world accents to make that happen?

I did try to listen to Anglo-Saxon, and ancient norse but I just tried to make Rohan and Gondor slightly distinct in any way I could. I never really tried to make things too obvious, but admittedly, I think I just used my intuition (smoothing the R’s for the Rohirrim, making the Gondorians more ‘proper’, etc.). I do want to emphasize that this was a one-person project and keeping things together or consistent is definitely an extraneous exercise when you’re just trying to get something finished by yourself! 

7. Some characters (like Beregond and Quickbeam, to name a couple of my favorites) aren’t in the movies, so they don’t have an actor for you to imitate. How did you decide what they would sound like?

Well, in the case of Beregond, I realized he was just “your ordinary guy”, and seeing Minas Tirith through his eyes (and Pippin’s)  is such an amazing and interesting opportunity. It made the city feel so real, and I wanted to take advantage of that. I think I started with a ‘generic’ voice, but when I re-recorded him knowing more and more of the context and what he was saying to Pippin, and as a result who he is, made me adjust what I felt were more his personality. But still that ‘ordinary guy’ idea was the bedrock, and it’s been years since I heard that chapter, but I hope it holds up! (I just remembered Bergil is in that too, another voice I wish I could have done better) 

Another fun fact: when Pippin scares the kids in Minas Tirith, the audio was from something I videotaped when I was 10 years old with my friends, it had the perfect “kids-going-aaah!” sound.

If I had it my way, I’d have a cast of dozens in this Audiobook, so a lot of times I never felt like my voice was enough to truly capture the “We’re in Middle-Earth, we just have microphones to record it” idea. So I have to make compromises since I was the only one doing the voices. That being said, Quickbeam was a fun surprise because he felt like, as you said “young treebeard”, and these things just worked out through experimentation! I think Quickbeam turned out pretty nice. I like Quickbeam.

8. HOW—I ask with great enthusiasm—DID YOU DO TREEBEARD’S VOICE? How did you get that resonance and woody sound? Did you send your voice through a wooden box and re-record it on the other side like they did in the movies?

It’s really great that you know all the behind the scenes stories from the films! Especially what Ethan Van der Ryn, David Farmer, and the late Michael Hopkins have done with their incredible creativity. I had no such resources to produce Treebeard’s sound. What I did was a digital facsimile: a special ‘room’ reverb, with some other equalizing effects to boost the bass and (maybe, I can’t remember) another higher pitched track of the same voice faintly in there. 

You won’t believe this, but I was not going to do The Two Towers audiobook unless I could do a good Treebeard voice. In 2011 after finishing “Fellowship”, I was on the fence about continuing, and only committed once I knew I could do Treebeard right. Treebeard was the key to all this. This should come to no surprise to the ones who played the game, but I used a lot of sound effects from ‘Battle for Middle-Earth’ which contained a lot of clean sounds for ents, trolls, the balrog, the ringwraiths, and other monsters from the films. I used the ent’s footsteps from the games, and recorded my own foley for some of the trees snapping and leaves rustling as well. The “fart” sounds were the low creaking of tree branches, and - as they stated in the making-of for the films - very pitched down cow moos. 

9. Tell me about the foley work! Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been that nerd who watched the Behind The Scenes featurettes for fun, so I’m very interested to hear how you made the sound effects for footsteps and whistling arrows and jangling horse harnesses and such. 

I’m glad you are! I’ve collected sound libraries (ripped from video games, and finding and buying sound packs) for a literal decade, because I always needed sounds for the short films I made when I was younger. I just kept learning about how to mix sounds together, and it’s very creative and very enjoyable! That being said, the foley work itself is mostly recorded by me. If I can’t find a sound in the library I have, I will record it. Clothing rustles, and touch are all recorded while I listen to the audiobook playback and ‘perform’ each character. It’s a really arduous process, but I think it adds so much life into the sound. 

I went out into the woods (or backyard) with my mic to record footsteps, sometimes I would listen to the audiobook with headphones while performing the footsteps. When I would have traveled somewhere with different terrain I would be sure to record more foley (rocks being moved, or pebbles being stepped on) knowing I’ll use it for certain chapters. I do not want to reveal a huge secret about the predominant foley for the character's clothes, but an old backpack I used were 90% of the characters’ ‘movements’. Some wingflaps of the fell beasts were just my jeans. It’s a really creative process trying to find things that ‘sound’ right for an environment or action. The magic is putting them all together and hearing the result. Also, yes Sam’s pan is my grandma’s frying pan, and I know it’s sometimes annoying, but - look - Sam has a lot of stuff to carry.

I start with the background sounds (wind, tree rustles, water if there is any, etc.) lots of layers of them just to make them sound unique and not the same. Then I move to selective and nearer environmental background sounds. Then, the ‘hero’ sounds, the effects that are integral to the story (if it’s sword clashes, or an explosion, or who knows what), and finally the foley (footsteps, clothing rustles, breaths, etc.) - I had a friend record her own horses breathing and moving for a lot of closeups of the horses in the audiobooks. I think even if you can’t really hear some of their low breaths, their presence is still ‘there’. I personally think I got a lot better by the end of LOTR than when I started! 

I wanted to add, the sounds for little Elanor in the very last scene of “The Return of the King” (the baby sounds), I was not happy with the stock baby sounds I had, and asked my older cousin (an audio person too!) to send me recordings he made of his then-1-year-old daughter in a studio. So, my first-cousin-once-removed is Elanor! She’s 22 now. I feel old.

10. Do you have a favorite sound effect from this project? Mine is the “pat-pat” against cloth that’s used to denote a hug.

Absolutely, do you remember the two “watchers” before the tower of Cirith Ungol? The vulture-like statues that block the hobbit’s path out? The alarm sound is a wholly original sound design I did, and I’m really happy with it. It’s just ugly sounding, and that’s the point. I always wished I had more Nazgul, and I think the worst moments I had with mixing were the battle scenes. There’s just too much to handle and make it sound good. But I really tried.

I’m very glad you heard the ‘pat-pat’s. I try my best to perform every character when recording foley, and want even some of the sounds to convey something in the telling of the story.

11. What's the thought process behind your use of the various musical motifs from Howard Shore's score? (Read: Why do you use the Shire theme so often, and why does it get me in the heart every single time?)

I want everyone to know that this is a really important and valuable question, and one I never really get to talk about: To me, Howard Shore’s music is one of the very best things to come out of the films. He truly made an opera out of the story, and all his leitmotifs and orchestrations are a stroke of genius. They work on their own, and when reading the books as well, and as a nerd for films and all that stuff, I wanted to put a lot of care into how I’m placing the score, and for what scene, emotionally and leitmotivically, if that’s a word.

The Audiobook I did is obviously a ‘standing on the shoulders of giants’ situation, so I can’t credit myself for the majority of the Audiobook I did, but I wanted to use all my filmmaking intuition to properly use the music to enhance the telling of the story. So, just like the filmmakers had to change and mix lines from the book, or make changes to make it work as a film, I felt like a lot of instances happened with the music for the audiobook. Obviously, I used the score when applicable to the intended scenes, but there are very often cases where they won’t work. I read as much as I could in the past about what the motifs were and where Shore used them in the movies, so I followed that trajectory for the most part. Gondor is Gondor, Rohan is Rohan, Mordor is Mordor, etc. 

Changes happen when I feel the emotions for a scene in the books do not match up to the ones in the films, and then there are brand new scenes and characters not in the movies at all, that I have to figure out! Take the pause from music between Gandalf falling into the chasm with the Balrog, and the fellowship successfully escaping. It’s perfect in the film, but I knew I couldn’t put the lamenting heartbreaking music in there yet, since the descriptions all drive the idea that escape is paramount. So I treated it as a ‘shock’ moment. No music until they’re completely out of the mountain, then the grief comes in. Things like that, a lot of fun creative thinking to get those emotions working!

I recall you mentioning the ‘Gimli / Legolas drinking game’ statement and how I used the hell out of it throughout the Audiobook, which is a good example. I pitched it up and down, for different moments, and it just has that hobbit mundane and jolly quality to it. So, in it goes to fill moments from the books. 

I also edited and modified existing motifs for completely different scenes and ideas. One of my favorites is when Treebeard talks about the Entwives. I needed this melancholy yearning sound that was really essential, and found it by reversing Eowyn’s theme, and pitching it down so the violin sounds like a cello/bass. To me it just felt extremely appropriate for the sound of a long-lost relationship while portraying a larger-than-life creature. 

Let’s also say Bombadil. I made up the idea that the last statement in the credits for “Return of the King”, was Bombadil’s theme. It’s actually just a reference to Der Ring des Nibelungen by Wagner, a very verbose beautiful crescendo, but I thought “I’ll pretend like it’s Bombadil, he’s last in the score even though he’s the first in Arda”. So I used that musical progression in his songs, that’s his leitmotif now (to me, anyway) He sings in that wavy up-and-down melody. Which is why you hear a lot of that in those chapters.

I also try to use recordings not from the original score: I looked far and wide for alternative recordings, predominantly the album by the Royal Prague Philharmonic, and the “LOTR Symphony”, just to make the Audiobooks feel different. I pitched down and moved and reassembled a lot of different cues for different scenes as well.

There are not a lot of instances of music from other movies, however, they do exist! I used music from “Battle for Middle-Earth”, the game “War in the North”, and for the last few chapters, “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” since it just came out at the time. I used a lot of music from Howard Shore’s “Seven” and “The Game” during Shelob (I think), and for the Barrow-Downs. I used a tiny bit of underscore from the brilliant Don Davis’s “The Matrix Reloaded”, it had a really eerie choir which made me feel like it would be perfect for the fatigue and dizzying unreality of Mordor when Sam and Frodo were on their last leg, trying to get to Mt. Doom. Lastly, I used a little bit of music from Howard Shore’s “Twilight: Eclipse” for some dialogue scenes during Return of the King! And music from the independent film “Mongol” by Tuomas Kantelinen for the Woses when Theoden has to get help from Ghan-Buri-Ghan. Also the ending of ROTK has a few cues from “The Lord of the Rings musical”, lovely stuff.

It may surprise you that there is a small amount of score I actually ‘wrote’ with help from my brother (he’s a musician). It’s in the coronation of Elessar. It’s not very good but I needed something. There is also a cello version of “to the edge of night”, which I kindly asked permission to use by YouTube celloist, but I sadly don't think that video is up anymore.

Lastly, I use the Shire music so much because - just like Howard Shore said - it becomes a ‘hymn’ or an ‘anthem’ for the hobbits as they leave their comforts behind and are in a wide and unfamiliar world. Every little bit that reminds them of home, or relates to each of them, usually deserves a little ‘shire’ statement here and there. I feel if it’s in the characters’ hearts and minds, it has to be expressed in the music!

12. Out of all the chapters I’ve listened to so far on the Internet Archive, “A Journey in the Dark” is the one most plagued with editing issues; Sam’s temper tantrum over leaving Bill the Pony is cut out entirely. Which is a shame, because I was really looking forward to hearing your take on that. (Is it strange to say that I wanted to hear you break down into blubbering tears? Probably. Let’s ignore that and move on.) Is there any chance that you have a cleaner edit of that chapter somewhere?

I think you’ll be very unsurprised to know that “A Journey in the Dark” is the first chapter I ever recorded. I think you’ll also need to know that I did FOTR when I was 21 years old, and my grasp on doing better sound mixing or even getting the characters right was still a work in progress. I learned so much going chapter-by-chapter and felt that each succeeding one improves from the former. As a demo-run, I did “King of the Golden Hall '' and “Journey in the Dark” in early 2010 (in fact, I did only the first half of “JITD” back then. Stopping right after they are barred inside the mines, as the Watcher destroys the gate. I did the second half once I caught up with the story going chapter-by-chapter.)

There are so many issues with it, and I haven’t listened to it since. If you have headphones you’ll also notice that none of the voices really pan from left to right, or feel like they’re ever anywhere else except the dead-center. I was lazy back then. 

When I read the chapters, at the time, I was sharing an ‘office room’ with my younger brother, and as a teenaged younger brother does - continues strumming his guitar no matter what the other brother is doing. It was really fun, and funny and I was extremely sloppy with editing things out, and taking it too seriously. So, for sure you can hear ‘someone’ in the background during the early parts of FOTR, and I was too lazy to re-record or edit out the noises that weren’t supposed to be there.

Forgive me if this part is a lot longer, but now that you mention it, I want to get on my soap-box and rant about how many things I agree with about the Audiobook’s shortcomings and how many things have changed since the wee days of 2010: 

I didn’t really get a grasp on the characters, and I had no idea I was going to do the entire book. I did not take enough care with sound mixing (it’s a highly technical and rigorous practice, I’ve discovered. Even now, ten plus years later - it’s too technical for me to fully understand yet), and I did not thoroughly re-listen to the chapter when I was done with an edit or a sound-effects pass. Therefore there’s always been mistakes still in there, and just unpleasantly careless placement of sounds and music. I have often thought about re-recording it to get it up to scratch, but it’s been over a decade and I haven’t properly preserved all the sound stems without having to re-sound-mix the whole chapter again, and there is that little thing called ‘burnout’ which is hard to ignore. So, I apologize to everyone who has to suffer through that huge drop in quality with “A Journey in the Dark”. It quite literally was my first attempt, and it definitely shows. 

The good news is that a fan asked me the same thing about the missing piece in that chapter (the one you mentioned! With Sam and Bill!), and I’ve heard the same comments about it throughout the years. Why is it missing? I don’t know why! I recorded it, but in my loose run-and-gun past when I was a wee lad, I was careless, and just had the mp3 with that part missing. A rendering error, perhaps! Stupid 21 year old Phil just hodgepoging everything.

A Few months ago, I did get another email about that missing piece. I thought “okay, once and for all, I’m going to find that missing part.” - and I searched my old harddrives for some kind of archival copy with that part in it. Amazingly, it was a lot harder to find than I thought. Every rendered version of JITD either stopped right before that scene, or had it omitted. I actually found one half of it as a ‘demo’ piece I rendered years ago for a ‘sound trailer’, and then I finally found the original YouTube video I made - which had it intact! Now the hardest part was stitching it together with the rest. Took longer than I thought, but I finally amended this horrible incompetence. And yes, I will share the link to you! And be prepared to be disappointed at the 2010-era quality!

I don’t know if anyone knows this, but with the mp3s circling around, I have taken the liberty of re-recording and re-working some chapters from their original versions. I try my best to preserve the originals, but I also wish people to listen to the re-records. I have actually re-recorded and re-mastered “A Long-Expected Party” three times. 2011, 2013, and 2014. I re-recorded “King of the Golden Hall” in 2013, and “Shadow of the Past” in 2014. I usually try labelling the dates on the mp3 files themselves. The one I’m most proud of re-recording bits of, is “The Pyre of Denethor” as the first time I had Denethor say his last words he was mildly raising his voice, but I listened to it again one day and went “this man should be at the edge of sanity.” - so he absolutely yells now, and it’s such a night-and-day comparison.

Another addendum: I completely understand the complaints about ‘the sound/music drowning out the dialogue’. It’s been the #1 complaint over the decade. I completely understand. I never had professional sound mixing gear, nor did I have proper mixing headphones or speakers or a proper studio (most of the audiobook was recorded at my grandmother’s house!). The balance of the audio making it sound immersive, (like you are there!) and having clear dialogue to hear is - like I said - an extremely technical and complex process that I’ve never had the ability or tech to master. Let alone for a book that’s 48 hours long, and has so much sound and music to it. Nothing would bring me more joy than to work with an experienced sound mixer, and find all my audio stems, and for us to work together to clear up any and all issues. But as this project was a simple fan-made work, and I haven’t distributed it myself for a decade, who knows?

This is also why I never went on to do “The Hobbit”. Burnout is real, and I’ve never recovered from LOTR. The burnout… “it’s never really healed, Sam.”

13. What was your favorite scene to record and mix?

Mount Doom. Can’t get better than trying to make the climax as horrible and eucatastrophic as that. It all led up to this, and it was such a rush to work on. I remember how I was at the edge of my seat watching ROTK in cinemas for the first time, and how amazingly they pulled it off, and I wanted to definitely imitate that, but using Tolkien’s own writing. Just so cool.

I have two favorite chapters: The first one is “The Scouring of the Shire”. I remember well, when I was working on it, I realized this has never been ‘dramatized’ before. At least not in full. I felt so special being the first one (probably) to do it. I could imagine the entire chapter in my head like a film, and I could bring it to life with very little outside influence. Such a poignant and shocking chapter. 

I don’t think I would have done it as well without the experience I gained doing the rest of the Audiobook. Showing the strength of the four hobbits, portraying the dignity and resolve of their kind, giving that pathetic yet dangerous authenticity to Sharkey, and the ruffians, illustrating the battle of bywater with sound… this was done in 2013, so we all were able to listen to new music by Howard Shore (for The Hobbit), and I would be able to transpose motifs from that, into “Scouring”, and honestly I wouldn’t know how it would have worked out if the Hobbit films didn’t come out just at the right time. I think the score fits so well with the events of “Scouring”, there is a ‘mordor’ theme but it feels ‘unfinished’, like the remnant of an old defeated foe; there’s that wily progression for Radagast in the films, that I used for the hobbit’s rebellion and the conflict, and there’s a new ‘hobbit/shire’ motif that worked so perfectly for a ‘wounded, but recovering’ Shire. I feel so silly talking about decisions I made for this, but I always wanted to share some thoughts I had! 

Fun fact: I had a wonderful person ask if she would be able to play Rosie Cotton back in 2013, and I asked her to perform her lines. She was great, but I realized a very strange thing: when I put her in the audio mix, it would actually break the immersion, because you can hear a voice that wasn’t mine, and as a result - I couldn’t help but keep thinking - my voice for Rosie’s mother sounded like a Monty Python skit in comparison! And thus her lines had to be unused. It kind of just opened the fourth wall, breaking the illusion. Which is a shame, because I always dream of having a fully-cast LOTR Audiobook, maybe someday officially.

The other favorite is “The Tower of Cirith Ungol” just because I listened to it one day in 2014, and heard no errors. I was so proud. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to change substantially. No one dislikes all the errors more than I do!

14. What’s your best memory from this entire project?

My late dad drove me and my brother out into a clearing at midnight in the forest. The sky was so clear and starry. And we were here simply to just yell at the top of our lungs to record material for “Helm’s Deep”. All the clear yells: “Elendil!!!” “Gúthwinë! Gúthwinë For the Mark!”etc. Etc. - I lost my voice, it was a fun time. He held the microphone for me as I splashed around a stream (for Gollum), once again at midnight since there were fewer background sounds.

I also tell this story a lot: A friend of mine who was listening to the chapters as I finished them - she hated the sound of knuckles cracking. And hated spiders. So, obviously, Shelob would have to have knuckle-cracking sounds for her limbs. So I recorded my own knuckles cracking and tried using it as much as I could for Shelob’s legs moving about. My friend was soooo ecstatic to know this fact.

15. If you could do it all again today, what would you change?

I would consider doing a ground-up re-recording of everything. With a budget, with a cast, with a lot more understanding of the story and intentions behind them. With VR sound options. With extra original music. That’s the dream. 

If we’re back to reality, I guess I’d just re-record a bunch of chapters since they could always be better, and tighten all the technical errors. But that would require a lot of assembling of the raw archived files, and re-building of sounds, and re-recording of lines. Also, as I stated before, I do not want to distribute my unofficial fan work just because I know that it’s a copyright nightmare. And burnout… “it’s never really healed, Sam.”

I like taking other people’s opinions to heart, such as the issues with Frodo’s youth or inflections and intonations for certain scenes that I didn’t quite fully grasp the first time. I would love to adjust things and make it closer to the book now.

- - - - -

And now! The Silly Questions Lightning Round!

(With thoughts from Lady Glasses in parentheses and italics!)

1. In Fellowship, long stretches of dialogue would often have someone randomly cough in the background. Tell me about the Cough. Why is the Cough there?

No one hates the coughs more than me. That’s either my brother minding his own business in the other end of our ‘office room’. I think you now know I was 21, I didn’t care, so these things are just left in because I was careless. However, sometimes there are intentional coughs to make it feel more realistic. It’s been years since I listened to it, so unless I somehow do a massive commentary stream someday (thinking about it), your guess will be as good as mine! The coughs heavily subsided once I did Two Towers, since I was by myself.

2. During the dinner scene with Farmer Cotton, someone burps. Who was that?

Mine. I have no regrets with that one. Or Pippin. I guess it could be Pippin.

(Darn! And here I thought it was Farmer Cotton, LOL)

3. How did you manage to make Bill Ferny’s voice so perfectly obnoxious?

I imagined Bill as an obnoxious guy. The image in my head gives me a good idea of what he’d sound like, and I’m so glad he’s so obnoxious that you had to mention it.

(He sounds perfectly punchable. Thanks, I hate it.)

4. Did you crack yourself up at any point in the recording?

Oh yes, in fact I have a whole outtake reel just for you!

(Warning to anyone who clicks the link: the April Fool's audio had me ON THE FLOOR)

5. Voice acting aside, who is your favorite character in LotR and why?

If you asked me in 2002 it would be the Balrog, if you asked me now it would be difficult because so many of them mean so much to me, and each of their aspects have something to aspire to. Gandalf, Aragorn, Sam, Frodo, Galadriel, the list goes on and on.

(That's beautiful, and so true. The story really grows with us, doesn't it?)

6. What’s your favorite color?

Blue. Always has been.

(Blue is a good color! 💙)

7. Political question: Pineapples on pizza, yes or no?

Yes, I still don’t get what the fuss is about

(Oooh, controversial)

8. Is a hotdog a sandwich?

No, it’s a hotdog!

(Counterpoint: A hotdog is a taco.)

9. What’s your opinion on geese?

They’re racist

(Racist against the entire human race, apparently)

10. How much would I have to pay you to say “I love boats!” in Merry’s voice? (It’s an inside joke with my friends.)

Nothing, it’s on the house!

(HOLY CRAP I LOVE YOU)

- - - - -

Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us! What are you working on nowadays?

I’ve actually had a few people ask me if I’ll ever do more audiobooks like this, and I seem to have tapped something. Yes, in fact! I’m working with a few creative collaborators on a small company to do the exact same sonic experience with other books! Since we’re very small, we are starting with stories in the Public Domain, and have successfully kickstarted (and finished) “The Jungle Book” by Rudyard Kipling. Which will be out (hopefully, officially) by early September! I’m really excited and hope this will lead to more projects, and - hopefully- back to Tolkien someday, in an official manner. Please follow my Instagram or Facebook for more info about it. (I also have a Twitter and Tumblr and more, but they’re all completely unrelated to LOTR and are just me drawing doodles and being a nerd, very unlike the Audiobooks I did, which is a bit confusing, I admit.)

- - - - -

And that concludes our interview! As I told Phil, it was so much fun to discuss a fellow fan's passion project like this. The more I read about it, the more I realized just how similar it was to my own experiences as a fan creator. We all start out as just a noob with a few unpolished skills, making something because we love it, and we learn and grow and hone our talents along the way. It's legitimately inspiring.

Needless to say, I am stoked to finish listening to the rest of this audiobook! Is it a bit weird knowing the creator of the thing might drop in and read my reviews?? Yes. Yes it is. But I'm gonna do it anyway. No holds barred! If I hear another cough, you're gonna know about it, Phil!

Also I may or may not do something with that audio of Merry because I'M STILL DYING OF LAUGHTER HELP

Anyway! If you made it to the end of this, you deserve a cookie! Everybody say thank you to Mr. Dragash, and go check out the other stuff he's doing nowadays! Namárië!

[wildernezz]

dead poets society scene that cannot be slept on any longer (im just rambling and analyzing the sillies and pretending to be smart. also spoilers loll)

I GET THAT THE DEAD POETS SOCIETY BARELY HAS A FANDOM BUT WHY DOES EVERYONE SLEEP ON THE PUNCH SCENE WITH CHARLIE AND CAMERON?? IT'S GENUINELY SO WELL WRITTEN AND PROBABLY ONE OF THE BEST DIALOGUE SCENES I'VE SEEN IN FILM??? HELLO?????

every single actor in this scene does such an amazing job. they genuinely all feel like such real and complex characters it's insane.

i don't care if you hate cameron's character but you cannot deny that his scene was amazingly pathetic. his actor did such a perfect job at portraying him almost like a rat backed into a corner. he's doing everything he can to save himself, telling himself he's the one in the right, the one with common sense, when he knows he's faking it. all his dominance is such a pathetic lie and it's genuinely impressive to watch it be portrayed so accurately. it is exactly what it's like to watch someone desperately claw for an ounce of respect. cameron was always a desperate character, and the moment he got the chance to drop his friends and come out "higher" than them, it just made him even sadder to watch.

and meanwhile charlie's the perfect example of failed justice and passion being outpoured all at once. he has so much determination and desire to stand up for what he believes, but it's all pouring out at once. he doesn't know how to handle all of it. he knows he's done for but he can't give up for the life of him, and it all comes out in a solid swing to cameron's face. that single punch probably sums up everything about charlie, and honestly everything i love about him as a character. he seems like a menace-y little bastard, but at the end of the day he just genuinely wants to do what he thinks is right. he's fiercely protective of the people he looks up to but he'll never admit it. that little shit has ZERO clue how to handle his emotions rationally and it's honestly respectable. he doesn't know exactly who he is, but his values are so strong that he's unknowingly guided by them. basically he's just a silly little guy and i hope he punches people more often :3

AND TODD THE BELOVED <33 he is so underrated in this scene it's insane. every word feels like it's falling out of him. he's lost his best friend and he's lost all control over himself. it's powerful seeing such quiet and reserved character unwillingly transform into everything they've been trying to keep down. i will forever be in love with how his character completely breaks down after neil's death. this is kinda just me projecting but he fr feels like a representation of all of my own thoughts when breaking down, except he's actually voicing them. todd supremacy for-fucking-ever.

THE OTHERS ARE ALSO SPECIAL TOO BUT THEY DONT GET A LOTTA LINES FOR ME TO ESPECIALLY ANALYZE SO IM JUST GONNA ADD RANDOM TIDBITS OF THE OTHERS HERE.

i absolutely adore how knox acts in this scene. especially his lines of "don't touch him charlie, you do and you're out," and then for that to be followed by "you don't know that" after charlie's little "i'm out anyway"?????? knox's entire personality in this movie might be about trying to rizz up girls (and it's a little concerning now but it was a different time guys please he's silly guys i swear), but he's honestly SOO sweet when he's not focused on that. he's just as protective of his friends and it's so nice seeing him be the voice of reason. like did u guys not see how quickly he reached for charlie when he was about to kick cameron's ass????? he genuinely wants the best for his friends and he knows them well enough to try and stop them from doing any irrational shit (even tho it failed later but shshsh). love knox for that.

meeks and pitts don't say anything in this scene, but their looks alone give off so much. you can just SEE how much meeks feels betrayed by cameron, and then pitts looks like he's still trying to process the fact that cameron would even do something like that. it's honestly so sad but god it's so amazing to watch.

anyways thank u for coming to my ted talk plspls ask me about films or drop ur random analyzations to me im so desperate to analyze my favorite little guys :33

[lousirs]

this is a dump about the uglydolls movie novel 💋💋💋

Alrighty I'm basically a regular here SO LETS GET TO IT

lodoeheie so I just got the movie novel of uglydolls because i need to fill my hunger for uglydolls content and THERE R SO MANY LITTLE DETAILS AND DIFFERENCES IN THE BOOK???!!???

ok so Lou's monologue in the pipes are completely different and they kind of point out details about Lou like his loafers being expensive and allat

BUT IM NOT TALING ABOTU TAGT

there's this one part in the book where they are about to reveal Ox after the all dolled up scene and instead of Ox, Nolan was behind Lou???? I think it was just supposed to show how awkward Nolan is idk 💀💀

ALSO for some reason I feel like EVERUTIME Nolan made an appearance they always described him as "the handsome doll" and I find that so so silly but I love it

oh YEYEHA it's implied in the book that the dolls wear their own clothes when they aren't doing training which was not the case in the movie (probably due to animation complications)

in the gauntlet scene, in the book, it was Mandy who kinda taunted Lou to participate in the gauntlet rather than him deciding to buy himself. Also it made me think why he even decided to join it in both medias when he knew he'd fail but my friend and I just established that at that point he was probably already batshit crazy and had nothing to lose

the whole Ox flashback part was longer and had more details to it. So both Lou and Ox went for the gauntlet together and completed it but it showed that they failed and everyone thought it was Ox that caused them to fail when it was really Lou (kind of sad that Lou probably knew it was himself and had to put the blame on Ox)

it was also mentioned that both Lou and Nolan have somewhat of a muscular build so time to make some new head cannons

IM SO SORRY THAT THESE POINTS WERE ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THERE'S TYPOS EVERYWHERE

I just found thrse so interesting I'm so sorry

the book is pretty good imo (probably biased) and there's more stuff than what I put here so DEFINITELY go read it for yourself

why hello, we meet again... time for more rambling xD STRAP IN EVERYONE!

yes!! i've known about the novel for a hot minute. i haven't bought or read it (...yet) but i remember seeing silentreadersmatter (i believe?) post about it on wattpad... so shoutout to them lol. anywho time to respond to each thing mentioned in order (just about)...

lou with loafers!!: i always assumed he wore some sort of fancy shoewear... so it's nifty that they added clarification i guess xD

awkward nolan: awkward nolan is the superior nolan (in my opinion. i'm sorry lads)... i see nolan be depicted as a 'uwu soft boy bottom" most of the time... but i always thought he was just a awkward doll. like, an anxious mess that is trying his best but fumbles constantly. he's a ball of anxiety, and i love him. ANYWAYS

buff nolan real??: GOSH, I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE NOTICED THE MUSCULAR NOLAN THING. i always imagined nolan to be taller than the other dolls (he isn't really in the film but i always headcanoned it so because his uniform is smaller as if he was too big for it) but once i saw him be called "handsome" and "tall" and "muscular" in the novel, i flipped. the little baby boy is actually a BIG BUFF BABY. i have a doodle of this from a few months ago heheh... (thank you for giving me an excuse to show it because it's been lingering in my files for a while LMAO)

^^^ lou is just trying to act evil and devious but he got this tall, handsome muscular doll getting in his way xD

ohhh but i can just imagine instead of the robot dog taking lou to the washer, nolan personally picks him up and drags him there. now THAT'S a moment i want to see.

fashion: oh, i didn't know about the clothes thing! DAMNIT i want to see them all in casual clothing, so i know what kind of styles they wear!! i mean, there's a concept art with lou in a white jumper with a golden 'L' on it... but that's all.

i have my headcanons for what they wear, but it would be cool to see... especially since most other dolls normally do have numerous outfits for the kids to dress them up in.

gauntlet: yeah, lou kinda lost the plot around that point. i would take a guess that he was probably unnerved by just basically killing two dolls, one that he knew (possibly for a while) and one that was close to his old friend, so when he saw mandy still alive he was like "well sh*t." and then came the downward spiral of him trying to sabotage the others, before inevitably sabotaging himself. ...but i think the book's version of mandy getting the crowds to peer pressure lou to joining the gauntlet made more sense (lou's reputation would be at stake and his reputation is basically all he has) than him joining anyways in the film. i guess they tried to make it make more sense with the whole "I don't even have to win. I just need to make sure you lose." but ehh... eh....

ox's tragic anime backstory: yes!! they should've done this version in the film honestly. perhaps they could've even shown lou's regret for lying to basically his only friend. ...oh wait, i forgot. lou's meant to be a 100% evil villain who kicks babies. anyways, again i feel that the novel made more sense than the canon we got in film. i guess in the film ox got recycled because he was causing others to fail by accident? but the novel's version is much more interesting.

if i remember correctly (and if i don't, count this as a rewritten version lol) the assistant robots took ox away after he 'failed' in the novel. i can imagine a scene where we are in ox's perspective, being forcefully dragged away to the pipes whilst lou looks at him, dread and sadness written across his face, yet he doesn't try to stop the robots. he just stands there, biting back his guilt. ohh... if only...

STRONG BOYS!!: heheheheh strong nolan and lou... would be funny if nolan didn't appear strong, but is actually stronger than lou. but then again, how can you tell if the doll is strong? they all look like same. lou says his arms are bumped or whatever in ugly truth but WHERE? WHERE'S THE BUMPED ARMS LOU??

anywho, thank you for the novella lore dump! for anyone who is interested, go check out the novel as well. it's pretty interesting if you are deep into doll purgatory. (also it's mentioned that ox used to wear a fedora from what i remember)(THAT IS TERRIBLE. I LOVE IT)

[bengiyo]

She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat 2 Eps 5-8 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we returned to my favorite ladies. They realized they were spending too much on their hangouts, so made the silly decision to just stop hanging out. That broke fairly quickly at least and they just started having more cost-effective meals together. Nomoto got a full time position along with her work bestie, and they're thriving. Nomoto watched her first lesbian film, and has made an internet friend. Kasuga noticed their new neighbor, and so they have begun the process of befriending her.

Episode 5

Very glad both of my favorite food shows with LGBT couples are wading directly into the importance of marriage equality.

Fuck yes we're getting back to the cabbage rolls!

YES!! A WATCH PARTY!!! Invite Kasuga!!

Kasuga is so careful with Nagumo. I'm not sure I'm reading exactly how determined each of them is being about being polite as Kasuga tries to be helpful.

Oh, Nagumo, I hope you find a way to be comfortable eating with them eventually.

Now, Nomoto, you were so close to telling her. Come on!

These cabbage rolls look good. I hadn't thought about putting them in a soup.

Yes, stay focused on Nagumo! We must befriend her!

Episode 6

I like introducing a character who struggles with eating with others into this show. I'm relieved it's only about eating in front of strangers.

That was an incredible eye roll from Kasuga to the message from her aunt.

Kasuga overhearing older women unpack their disdain for the caregiver expectation placed on them them is a good choice.

An asexual lesbian who wants to watch her stories with others. She is one of us. This is the gay sex and celibacy website z after all.

I like Yaku! She was warm to Nomoto, asked a good question about snacks. Admitted she doesn't like cooking in a way that doesn't make Nomoto's hobby seem bad. Then they enjoyed a film together.

Yaku is great. She's letting Nomoto lead here, and giving her encouragement to continue sharing.

Come through, Yaku! There is room for all types of lesbians! Quiet gays who maybe don't want to have a ton of sex can sit with us too!

"Are we in a drama?" Yes, Yaku, and you are the cool, self-actualized queer.

I'm glad Nomoto can share! This will definitely help her get out of her own head.

Episode 7

Oh, is her name Yako? I will start using that spelling.

Sayama, thank you for trying to help your friend confess to her crush, but she is determined for this to be a slow burn show.

Kasuga backs in to park She's better than all of us.

This conversation is ugly. The dad doesn't think he or the eldest son should do anything to help with elder care, but Kasuga should give up her entire life to take care of people who disrespect her. I can see why she's avoided them for this long.

I'm glad we already knew that Kasuga was not given enough to eat in the first season, so this is all reaffirming it and letting us examine the long term impacts.

They're all sharing on the balcony!

They're making donuts together!!!

Nagumo seems like she had a good time, and they're encouraging her to eat some on her own.

Childhood trauma episode, I see.

Nomoto and Kasuga have so much grace for Nagumo. They let her share about herself, asked her how they can best support her, and Nomoto even encouraged Kasuga to take some donuts home so Nagumo isn't the only one leaving with food.

Episode 8

SAYAMA GETS DONUTS TOO! I love this show!!!

Wow, this conversation between Kasuga and Ms. Fujita hit me. The seriousness with which she stressed to Kasuga not to give up her life for her parents landed so hard. This is complicated for me, because I've accepted that my role as the oldest will be that of caregiver in the future.

They turned her room into a storage space and still just expect her to clean it up. I'm glad she put her foot down here. I do believe in giving back the love and care we've received to our parents when they get older, but you are giving back what was given to you. Kasuga is right to not want to spend her adulthood as a household servant to an ungrateful man and his mother.

Wow, this Chosen Family scene took me right the fuck out.

Nomoto is correct. I will also not forgive Kasuga's father for making her feel like this.

She almost said it! We're getting close!

I'm so glad we're expanding the cast this season to deal with more issues affecting Japanese women. I really like that they spent two episodes on Kasuga deciding that the family she's building here is more important to her than the family that mistreated her. I'm so happy that Nomoto has another lesbian friend to talk to. I'm so relieved that Nagumo is opening up to them and starting to share in the warmth our ladies have offered her. I will be thinking about that donut scene for a while. I'm so happy that we have so much more time with them this season.