#and the audience still thinks they're supposed to be smart.

[witheredgardenparty]

Has anyone talked about how each member of the Genius Society represents the over reliance on the belief of intelligence but not the act of intelligence?

[nattikay]

actually no wait holdup, I stumbled across some "Na'vi redesigns" recently, and while I don't want to make a stink about it on the actual redesign posts themselves because I don't want to antagonize the artists, who are clearly skilled in their own right, I do have something to say on the topic. While there is of course nothing wrong with re-designing characters or species for fun, there seems to be this condescending attitude surrounding Na'vi redesigns in particular, especially ones that make them significantly more monstrous/non-human, about how they're "better" than the canon designs for being less humanoid but....

y'all. Though there is a lot of cool speculative biology in Avatar, Avatar at is heart is not meant to be a speculative biology documentary, it's meant to be a story.

y’know, it’s interesting, there’s a section in Anomaly Inc’s epic eight-hour Avatar defense in which he’s refuting The Critical Drinker’s Avatar video. Paraphrasing a bit because I don’t want to dig through eight hours for this one line, but there’s a point where Critical Drinker says “if the Na'vi looked like this, or this, or this [showing images of much more monstrous alien designs from other movies], Avatar would be a very different movie”, and Anomaly Inc responds, “no actually, if the Na'vi looked like xenomorphs nothing in the plot would change, it would just be a whole lot less pleasant to look at.”

And you know what? They’re both right. Anomaly Inc is correct that giving the Na'vi a more monstrous design would not affect the plot itself, but Critical Drinker is also right (though perhaps not in the way he intended) that it would make Avatar a different movie. A WORSE MOVIE.

Yeah, I said it. Because plot is an important element to a movie, yes, but it’s not the only important element. Film is a visual medium, and therefore design is very important too, and it’s not arbitrary: the design of your characters should be used to support the story you’re trying to tell.

The story of Avatar requires the audience to empathize with the Na'vi. We’re supposed to be able to relate to them, to see ourselves in them. We’re meant not to see them as just “aliens”, but as people, because recognizing them as people emphasizes the wrongness of the RDA’s treatment of them. Blowing up the village of a clearly humanoid species is going to hit the audience much harder than blowing up the nest of scary-looking aliens, even if we know the aliens are smart and have their own culture etc. (not to say that blowing up the “nest” wouldn’t still be bad, of course it would be, it just wouldn’t invoke quite the same gut reaction in the viewers and yes that matters in a story).

A more monstrous design would not only not support the Na'vi’s narrative role, it would actively hinder it. Like it or not, general audiences would have a much more difficult time connecting with the Na'vi if they were depicted as hunched-over four-eyed hexapods with gaping jaws and the inability to make human facial expressions. Making them more humanoid makes them much easier to read and therefore to emotionally connect to. And no, Mr. Drinker, making your protagonists appealing to look at is not “lazy dirty manipulation”, it’s character design 101.

And don’t get me wrong, there’s certainly a place for more monstrous-looking sapient alien species in fiction! And if that’s your cup of tea by all means go nuts! Make that alien species! Flesh out their culture! That sounds awesome! I know I’ve definitely seen some cool and interesting ones out there!

….but I just don’t think that Avatar is that place. And that’s ok. There’s a place for “monstrous” aliens (sapient or otherwise), but there’s a place for humanoid aliens too, Avatar is the latter and there’s nothing wrong with that.

…all that to say, my stance on Na'vi redesigns is heavily dependent on the attitude behind them:

“Here’s a Na'vi redesign because I thought it would be a fun challenge and look cool!” Awesome, go for it, have fun! :D

“Here’s a Na'vi redesign because the canon designs are dumb and lazy and mine is way Better and More Original because it looks more like a movie monster, the filmmakers were so stupid for not making them look more like this, I’m just Fixing It” shut up

[ck2k18]

Whitewashing in the ml fandom and why you shouldnt do (or support) it

Disclaimer: Because I am a Black person and the characters I am talking about are Black, this post will specifically address the white washing of Black people and characters.

What is white washing? White washing in the context of fanart is when you take a character of color, usually one with brown/black skin, and either make their skin lighter, give them more Eurocentric features, or both.

Why is it harmful? To explain why this is harmful, I will use one of the first examples of fanart; renaissance paintings of ancient Greek myths. Specifically, artwork featuring Princess Andromeda. Go to your search engine and type in "princess Andromeda". Based on those images, you would never have known that in the original Greek legends, Andromeda was black. So why is she most often depicted as a white woman?

McGrath’s article was definitive in addressing three things: that all the Greek mythographers placed Andromeda as a princess of Ethiopia, that Ovid specifically refers to her dark skin and that artists throughout Western art history frequently omitted to depict her blackness because Andromeda was supposed to be beautiful, and blackness and beauty – for many of them – was dichotomous.

That quote is from this article, and I highly recommend you give it a read. When you whitewash a character, you are perpetuating the idea in the quote above. That this character you like, whether you like them because they're funny or smart or beautiful, cannot be those things and also have black features.

White washing in miraculous ladybug

The show itself is guilty of whitewashing it's own characters. For example, look at these side by sides of Alya and Max alongside their hero alter egos.

Was this done with malicious intent? Hopefully not. But intentional or not, what it says to the people watching is, "These characters cannot have darker skin and also be heroes." And if you think it's not that deep, it is. The show's inconsistencies can't be used as an excuse for whitewashed fanart, because this shit isn't okay either.

Colorism and whitewashing

I'm going to bring up colorism, because even though Max's skin is lighter in that image, he still looks black. However, that doesn't make it okay.

colorism: prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group:

Lighter skinned Black people, while still targets of racism, are closer to whiteness than darker skinned Black people, and in some cases face less discrimination. When Black people first started to appear on TV, it was generally lighter skinned ones because that was more acceptable. This article goes more in depth about colorism.

Misogynoir and whitewashing.

Misogynoir is a word coined to describe the unique hatred that black women face. It is the intersection of racism and misogyny.

People may whitewash a female presenting character but not a male presenting character. In this fandom, you see it with DJWIFI fanart. People will make alyas skin color significantly lighter than Ninos. One trait of misogyny is tying a womans worth to their beauty. When you realize that beauty and blackness were (and still are) seen as antonyms, the issue with this type of whitewashing is made clear.

Texturism and whitewashing

texturism: a form of social injustice, where afro-textured hair or coarse hair types are viewed negatively, often perceived as "unprofessional", "unattractive", or "unclean".

When Black characters were first introduced to media, aspects of them would be changed to heighten their proximity to whiteness and make them more palatable to white audiences. Black women would get perms or silk presses, and Black men would keep their hair cut short and "tidy."

Note: This does not mean that all Black women with silk presses or perms or all Black men with short hair are trying to heighten their proximity to whiteness, or do not love themselves and their hair.

Animation has a history of not representing Black hair. Nowadays, Black hair is more represented, and beautifully so. Just look at movies like Encanto and Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse or TV shows like Moon girl and Devil Dinosaur.

In Miraculous Ladybug, Max is the only character with blatantly afro hair. Nino's hair is always covered and is cut short, and Alya's hair has a looser texture. Therefore, I give fanartists a pass on that one. However, this is a good thing to be aware of anyway.

How can you help?

Don't create, support, or reblog whitewashed art.

(P.S. if anyone wants to come on this post bripnging up blackwashing, read this post of mine)

[nikox400x]

Kung Fu Panda 4-All the budget went to the animation (spoilers)

Hey all, its me, the guy who everyday make a tour around this site but almost never talk. How are ya?

Two days ago something arrived to the cinema's screens, something that me and everyone were waiting for since 2018, the fourth film and the begginig of the new kung fu panda triology.

You know? When I sat on that theather seat with my friends to see what Dreamworks had prepared for us, I told myself; "Maybe that post I made a while ago throwing shit at what seemed like Kfp 4 was going to be was a bit hard, I hope I can come out regretting what I said that time"

And as soon as the credits ended, it was clear to me, I dont regret a shit. Maybe it was a little exaggerated, compared to what a megamind fan would think about the terrible sequel they made, but still: the film is crappy and boring most of the time. But why?

I'm going to explain some points.

1- Po? Is that you?

I don't know you guys, but i don't think the panda we knew in the end of the third film is the same as this one. Seriously, he share more comparisons with the Po from the legend of awessonless than the one from the films, maybe its a personal thing but it feels that way. At least in the beggining of the film feel like that.

And I don't know what he was thinking about when he decided to follow a thief he doesn't know at all and who tried to steal in his own palace, and that suspiciously know who is the chameleon, whose were her plans, her past, where she lived, where exacly they had to pass through avoiding all the guard inside her home, why the others thiefs of the city hate her so much... With Po's experience with criminals this is like a chef throwing water on a pan with boiling oil, it's obvious what is going to happen.

2- Zheng- Female Nick Wilde but without charisma or half of his intelligence.

I knew it from the first moment I saw Zheng's desing, the people who know me can corroborate that; her facial expressions, her tone while she talk, her animal race, her position as thief, her final when she is part of the justice same as the protagonist... it's clearer than water I think.

Everyone could say this is forgivable if she's smart, but surprise, she's not. This character is just an absurd try of this company for """"conect with infant audience""""(I don't know in what sense, I supose for the cute design, idk). But the point is, the supposed objective of the hollywood companies is give the new generetions better things than we got at their age, but what I see is laziness for write a decent scrip only for take an advantage of a known IP and make easy money. Even the children have quality standars, this is not the dragon warrior and of course this is not kung fu panda.

And talking about the dragon warrior, having our deep and lovely Tigress with her magnific development or Tai Lung back from the spirit realm... why in the hell this character exists?! Oh yeah, for being trending topic in twitter for three days. Yay...

3- The furious five and Shifu, for us : our pretty boys, and for Dreamworks: living jokes.

What made Kung Fu Panda what it is, is not the fucking panda, it's them. They're the inspiration for Po, their allies, the royale representation of kung fu and the ones which everything started with.

Po's a comic relief, and his mission is show his development in part using his humor, but the humor in this film barely works because of the lazy script. Something that even the talented Jack Black himself can't fix, beacuse his only role there is dublin his character, unlike the rest of the residents of the Jade Palace except Dustin Hoffman.

Seth Rogen (Mantis) himself even said that he wasn't even contact by Dreamworks in the first place, only for make a scream in the credits, that's sad beacause he really wanted to see Mantis on the screen. And I know and I understand that the five are expensive, but cmon, they could just simply change the voice actors and offset it with a good script but that's not the case of course. Their role in the film is being a counter for Po's constant jokes, for not to saturate the spectator with jokes, now that's not in there anymore, thank you Dreamworks.

4-The chameleoooohhn and her "motivation".

I can't say much, basically because out of her design she's nonsense. She says that because of her size, she was reyected for being a kung fu warrior.

Yeah of course but only one little thing, what about Shifu? Viper, a warrior without tips? Mantis, literally a dawn insect? Master Oogway, a TURTLE? The masters goose? C'mon even there's a fucking master chicken! Don't talk shit chameleon!

Her importance for the plot? Its almost a lie, the others villains had links to important characters; Tai Lung (with his link to Shifu's past), Shen (with his link to Po's past) or Kai (with his link to Oogway's past), all of them related to important characters. And her? To zheng's past and present I guess? But again, anyone know this character. She's like a villain from a Disney show, you know the type of villain who say a lot of things but at the end, she don't support nothing to the lore.

And her personality is like a mix of all the previous villains, and this sounds good right? HAHAH nope. Do you remember when as a child you mixed all the plasticines of all the colors to create the final color and you ended up with a color similar to poop? well that's exacly how her personality feels like.

5- Po's dads; the only reason they're there is because they ran out of characters to make the film.

The tittle itself tell everything, they don't do anything for the script in all the film, and their objective could be done since the start.

The script of the film except for the final looks like a draft which they didn't know how to complete, everyone who watch it can see it perfecly. The animation, the music and the backgrounds are the only things notable here.

6- Tai Lung and the cheapness nostalgia.

Fan service is not necesarry bad, above all if is used in a good way, they sold us Tai Lung as a miracle but his importance for the plot feels just like a Stan Lee cameo, I like Tai Lung I can say that. But this is too weak, Shen and Kai are only characters in the background who don't do nothing except being defeated or make facial expressions (I don't even joke that Shen would show respect to Po considering what we saw in the second movie, and Kai wasn't supposed to be destroyed as a spirit, what the hell is he doing here again? *sign* I'll to stop trying to make sense of this).

By the way, anyone else think that the dragon warrior role is understimated? I mean Shifu obligated Po to transfers the role to another one just because yes, i mean he only has been the dragon warrior for less than 5 years and now they want to replace him with a random. Everything just for at the end, he choosed a thief with at least 30 crimes registred and who was a traitor during the 75% of the movie.

7- The """""""""humor"""""""", except they forgot the parts where I must to laugh.

Seeing nonsense hits only beacuse yes stopped of being funny a long time ago, and no, I don't want to talk about the bunnies of the portrait because I would get sick. I had to go to the cinema drunk to endure the filler that the movie had, no joke, it was the only way to laugh at those jokes.

So I think about applying the same method as in any movie with bad jokes, ignoring the jokes. I tried to do the same thing but with the pace that the film managed, such a thing was impossible, the pace of the movie seems to be made for Tiktoker children with attention deficit. From the chaos in the quarry until Po takes the bitc... uhg fox out of prison, only 10 fucking minutes pass, all of that for what? So that you feel like the baseless information and the nonsensical plot that they tell us is of any use? they could simply make a non-canonical short and that's it, but no, yes or they were going to tell us a story written by rotten old men who spend the entire day watching Tik Tok. It's not going to be that the child who sees this doesn't get bored, we know that much today's children don't have many neurons as they say, but even to make movies for them you have to have a certain talent.

In some point at the beguining Po make a joke about the ausence of the furious five saying that at least he had them in cardboard posters, and this would be a good joke. Only if the stupid film could be prove that the franquise can do something memorable without the furious five, but again, that's not the case.

Don't have any respect for this movie, look what it had with you. I understand that it is enjoyable because of the animation but it does not go beyond that line, it destroys important things about the canon and spoils its teaching about the need for change by treating it in a terrible way.

Coclusion: KFP 4 is just another Po's adventure as Shifu says, it won't tell nothing to you or make you feel different, it's a shame but after Megamind 2 I imagined something like this. It's a dark era for film, expecially the animated one so like Scar said; Be prepare, there're worse things waiting for us.

Do you want something with real quality? You don't even need kung fu panda 1,2 or 3, for make it easy to this film let's take this marvelous example; kung fu panda: secrets of the scroll (2016). You'll say; "An animated short, this is not like-" Shhh Just watch it, you won't regret it.

If you think I'm wrong in something, just rewatch the film. And if still you aren't agreed with me, well, I respect you and I'm happy you like it. I wish I could love it as you do, but that doesn't mean that the movie isn't bad, because if you watch it with your brain on or remembering the previous movies it's terrible.

. Me? I've to write a story, I love you all. Except you, Dreamworks, I'm mad with you, expecially when you do this at the same day as Akira Toriyama's death :(

[chirpsythismorning]

Why I Don’t Experience Byler Doubt

It’s simple. One of the most essential techniques in storytelling: Show, don’t tell.

Show, don't tell is a technique that allows the audience to experience the story through actions, words, subtext, thoughts, senses, and feelings rather than exclusively through the creators' exposition, summarization, and description.

Even more importantly (assuming we want to enjoy ourselves bc this is supposed to be high quality entertainment), it adds drama. Rather than telling viewers what's happening, a filmmaker will use this technique to show drama unfold. 'Telling' is factual and avoids detail; while 'showing,' is detailed and places the human subject at the centre of the drama.

This technique is literally playing out in the narrative when it comes to Mike’s inability to tell El he loves her (or even simply write love Mike in his letters), which he never would have had to tell her (spell out) in the first place, if he had just shown her that he loved her.

It’s no fun having to spoon feed your audience. Instead, it's much more enjoyable for the storyteller to present the truth in the details, even sometimes contradicting very basic assumptions that are being outright told. Hence why, for example, when the Duffers were asked about the Vecna reveal, Ross used the opportunity to go on a mini tangent: 'the best twists are ones that you go, “Oh, I should have seen that coming.” As opposed to the twists that go, “Oh, well that just came out of nowhere.” So, “Oh, I missed these clues along the way.” But you get nervous when you’re writing it because you go, “Well, to me it seems obvious--'.

In fact, Show, don't tell is what largely allows surprise revelations to hide in plain sight. Because obviously, if a writer just tells their audience everything that's happening while it's happening, we would always see what's coming next.

And so the problem I have with downplaying or even completely refusing to acknowledge the importance of Show, don't tell, in the case of Stranger Things especially, is that, in order to comfortably subscribe to what is being told, I have to ignore what is being shown.

We see this play out all the time on Reddit in particular, which if I'm being honest is the only platform at this point that treats mere speculation about Will and Mike's relationship as if it is the end of the world. On the rare occasion the mods don't remove a byler related post, the post is either already negative towards byler or the comments are filled with fury over the poster simply thinking critically by speculating about byler. Even if you manage to get a fan over there in the comments to consider certain evidence pointing towards byler as incriminating, they'll still manage to end it by downplaying the Duffers and their abilities, because 'They're not that smart!'...

They'll ask for evidence, be presented with it, only to insist that it's all reaching because details mean nothing and everything about the show is actually just surface level, ie. it's not that deep.

Without even realizing it, they're low-key admitting that going the byler route would be smart, and yet here they are tirelessly defending a show that, according to them, has shit writers and no deeper purpose. All this does is prove that they are hoping this is the case. Because even despite being presented with strong evidence that the show might very well be epic, they would rather reject it altogether.

They would rather have one of their favorite shows suck and defend it religiously, then consider the possibility that it's good and gay...

Don't get me wrong, there are definitely fans on reddit that don't hate byler. I imagine out of the million in that sub, there's a silent majority that would be open to it. Keep in mind, most fans still active at this point in hiatus are hardcore fans, and so they're obviously opinionated, that goes for everyone on most platforms rn. And yet, I know there are very likely casual fans who are popping in there every now and then, the same people in the majority when after s4 dropped, saw that monologue and said What the actual fuck was that?

There’s a reason no other couple on the show has needed to hear the words I love you to believe it. Well, besides Steve and Nancy…

Because SHOW, DON'T TELL. That's why!

So, what do I mean when I say that Show, don't tell is why I no longer have byler doubt?

It's actually pretty ironic, but basically the moment Mike told El he loved her, that's the moment they showed us that he didn't.

I mean, for starters, how does one go about filming a romantic love confession? Because if we're being entirely serious right now, they made just about every artistic and creative choice possible to go against what a romantic love confession should look like to feel satisfying.

I mean, you'd probably want the atmosphere to be intimate, right? Make the audience feel like these two are the only two people in the room (world) for this moment?

Well, that's not the case for Mike and El, nor is it the case for literally any of their scenes in s4 (arguably a lot of their scenes in the series; Will the wise drawing in El's room, I'm looking at you). Almost all of the scenes with them together in s4 had Will in the background, often times in the literal frame between them. That is NOT how you film scenes for a romantic pairing that you want the audience to root for, from beginning to end.

You guys gotta understand, rewatch value is one of the most important aspects to this story for the Duffers. When talking about the prospects of s5, they mentioned that they rewatched all the Lord of the Rings, saying how important it was, despite what some fans might say about the ending being too long, or this or that, bc to them, it was necessary to watch it all, and to rewatch it and rewatch it, in order to appreciate the entire story as a whole, aka the way it was intended.

If you're a serious about Mike and El as a romantic pairing, but because of the way the show has set up their relationship over the seasons, you can't sit down and enjoy more than a quarter of each season bc they're either separated, broken up, or on the rare occasion they are together and happy, they're accompanied by a kicked puppy in every shot, maybe all of that's for a reason.

And that applies to the scene in Surfer Boy more than any other scene in the show, a scene that is supposed to be Mike's monologue to El... You mean a scene that directly parallels Mike's monologue to Will in s2?

When planning the end of s4, do we think the Duffers just decided they wanted this intimate moment between Mike and El to have Will in the frame behind Mike (visually piggybacking off of him, in an episode titled The Piggyback...) in almost every shot, including when he said I love you for the first time, for no reason at all? Or is it possible there was a reason for it? Just like there's been a greater reason for everything?

Like bro, I'm sorry, but even if what's being told in that scene is relevant, all of it still reads as either a lie, a partial lie, a lie of omission or a platonic truth hiding behind romantic phrasing: I don't know how to live without you = platonic (trauma bond), whereas I can't live without you/I don't want to live without you = romantic. The later is out of desire/want, the former is out of fear of the unknown.

The entire scene the lighting is blinking rapidly. And so the vibe they're going for here is uncertainty, which is quite odd for a love confession that's supposed to feel certain? Then we have El seeing all red the entire time. She's literally choking, hearing Mike struggle to muster up anything that could help her pull through, only to overhear Will calling Mike the heart, followed by Mike finally saying I love you????

And I guess according to the Duffers, nothing says true love like a love confession ending abruptly by a two day time jump...

Oh and how about, instead of them taking the time at the end of the season for El and Mike to have a private moment, where they could finally address their love for one another, let’s have them barely on speaking terms, and the one time they do talk, let’s have it be offscreen and mentioned in a private moment between Will and Mike, who in contrast to Mike and El, we're going to prioritize having a scene with them alone together at the end of this season...

In the last minutes, let’s have El look at Mike and Will, only to avoid them with visible annoyance. And THEN let’s show Mike visibly defeated by El's annoyance, instead prioritizing reassuring Will, aka his friend with whom he shares an I didn’t say it/ You didn’t have to bond...

I mean? Are we just not going to talk about it? The fact that I didn't say it/You didn't have to could pass off as a literal synonym for Show, don't tell...

It just kills me that even with all of that, the Duffers were like, You know what? Fuck it. Let's show them all the endgame couples lined up next to each other, with Will and Mike in the middle and El standing on her own in front of them. If by now they still refuse to consider it, after everything, this ending probably wont convince them anyways, but it makes for great rewatch value...

Seriously, if you're subscribing fully to the belief that what is being told is the whole truth and nothing but the truth (so help you god), then you're having to ignore all of that. And I can't ignore all of that, I just can't. Which makes it impossible for me to experience doubt anymore.

[factorialsotherfandoms]

As suggested by @becauseplot, xcomau sparring with Codebreakers! (I'll save egg times for later and have some planned out but may swap eggs before I get there). I... apologise for the invading Fit?

Hidden... not quite injury? There's some angst in here. It was supposed to be fun. Well I had fun. Also some non-graphic nudity and a distinctly unsexy shower scene. It is a bit homoerotic though. Welcome to qsmp.

"Phil. Phil. Phil. Phil."

"Etoiles, I said no!" Philza half-laughs with the words, used to this nonsense from everyone; at least from Etoiles it is genuine respect, not simply a dare.

"But Pomme! You love Pomme. I love Pomme. She wants to see you fight me, yes?"

Philza looks over to Pomme, who honestly looks like she could not care less as she shows off her new shoes to her siblings. He is about to say as much, before his eyes catch on Chayanne. His son has wonder and excitement in his eyes, quickly blinked away as he turns back to also compliment her outfit.

"That's a low blow," Philza half teases, already walking over to the rack of training weapons. "Using your daughter like that."

"So you will fight me? Properly? With swords."

"/Training/ swords," he forces. "I haven't touched a blade in years, you ain't getting me close to something sharp."

Etoiles brightens like the stars he is named after, running over to pick one for himself. Philza looks them over, trying to remember how to pick one even as the excitement of his son bubbles in his mind. If Chayanne has managed to infect the other children with the idea... God, they're going to have a fucking audience, aren't they?

Sure enough, by the time that Philza has warmed up, a not so small crowd has gathered in the gym. The kids are sat on the floor at the edge of the mats, while at least half of the adults are either sat on the benches, or standing around behind them.

Pac, Mike, and Tubbo are very obviously running bets, scampering around with a set of notebooks. Fit... seems to be wrangling them, except that he glances over to Philza with a grim - concerned - expression on his face.

Everyone else looks excited, and the weight of expectation is as it is; Philza makes a small gesture for him to back down. Fit catches it, and returns to herding cats with a solemn nod.

Nobody else seems to catch the interaction at least. Philza really, really does not want to make a show of it, but now a show is here...

He rolls his shoulders. Despite the careful stretches his back smarts. He swears, pretends he stubbed his toe on the corner of the mat, and prepares.

Etoiles is of course ready. Etoiles is a great many things more than a swordsman, but he is always ready, even when he is bouncing slightly in anticipation.

They do not need words to communicate, just eye contact and a nod. The crowd chatters as they circle each other. Philza has not fought a human since... some guards, back when guards were still human. Fit, once or twice. Techno...

Etoiles thinks he sees an opening, darting in. Philza parries, ducks to the side, and the fight truly begins. Once Philza was a god of the battlefield, now time and injury leave an abyss in their wake.

He is not, however, as stupid ass to fall for the tricks.

Etoules is honourable, straight forward, and fights friends only to help them keep themselves safe.

Philza is treason, and deception, and has always fought to rip the world back into shape by the skin of his fucking teeth.

They don't realise that, here, just how dark he can be - he hung up his sword for good reason, and he does not want to be that fucker again.

He doesn't want to be, but it was also always him.

Etoiles comes close. Philza twists, moving as though to raise his sword and instead kicking the other man in the ribs. He does not hold back - five years ago he would have broken ribs with that kick, but he knows he skips gym these days.

Still, Etoiles stumbles back a few paces, grinning as he does, "good kick! Good kick!" He calls, "I told you, you're the best!"

"The only best here is you," Philza calls back, watching close as Etoiles uses the banter to come close. "Etoiles, the goat."

Philza darts forwards this time. Instinctively, his wings move to assist. With difficulty, he holds his mangled musculature in place.

"This? This is just me hitting silly sticks," Etoiles calls as they clash their weapons together. "You're the real goat! You see everything!"

Philza does not fucking see everything, but he forces his grin into a smile and keeps up a relentless attack. Every strike he tries, Etoiles blocks. Every block he makes, Etoiles gets a little closer.

Sloppy. He has gotten sloppy with time.

Lost in the fight and the play and the laughter, Philza darts in again. This time Etoiles kicks him. Philza stumbles back, seeking his footing again.

He flares his wings.

He falls

He *screams*.

He tries to convince himself it is a shriek of rage, but he sees Fit stand, feels Chayanne and Tallulah's worry, hears the murmur of the crowd. By rules of the fight he has lost, sprawled on the floor as he is.

By the rules of the fight...

"Phil?" Etoiles immediately softens, stepping close and lowering his blade.

Philza has two choices: admit his weakness, or pretend it is a fucking game.

He keeps his wings entirely still as grabs Etoiles' wrist, pulling himself up and twisting it sharply - not enough to break it, but nearly.

The sword falls to the floor. Without thinking Philza grabs it, pushes Etoiles to the floor, holds it to his neck.

He is breathing hard, body straining under the position.

Etoiles looks at him not with fear, but concerning his eyes.

"Ça va?"

It's barely a whisper. Philza...

Philza drops the sword to the side, rolling off Etoiles' stomach and fighting the fucking pain to find his breath.

"You won the fight," Philza says. "But our enemy is a fucking shit. Don't let your guard down. Even when they're dead they might fuck you up."

Etoiles nods, eyes calculating.

Behind them, Fit whispers something to Pac, who nudges Mike and Tubbo. Between the three they stir the crowd into arguments over the betting.

"Good fight," Philza offers Etoiles.

"Good fight, good fight!" Etoiles agrees. "Next time, you will win properly."

Philza laughs, "I doubt it, mate; I'm out of practice."

"Then practice with me!" Etoiles offers. "At least help me train the kids! Chayanne would love to have you there."

"Etoiles," Philza does not have he fucking oxygen to laugh. "Don't give him ideas. I'm gonna get a shower, you coming?"

He doubts that anyone else could see the strain in Etoiles' smile as he waves him off, mentioning something about a bet with Antoine. Philza leaves it be, ducks around the now excitable crowd, and vanishes himself into the shower.

Under the water - hot, thank Tubbo - his muscles sting. His arms and his legs and his chest, all fine, but his back - his wings - where he cannot reach...

It is not just a sting, not really.

He grits his teeth through the shower gel, and rinsing it off. Cleaning his back without getting soap on his feathers is a nightmare, but one he's lived with his whole life.

But once the cleaning is done...

He rests his head against the tiles, eyes shut, and tries to remember how it feels to breathe.

The water is hot, and the tile is cool, and the agony begins to cool.

Nearly ready to face the world, there is a knock on the wall besides the shower curtain. Startled Philza turns, relaxing only as he sees the familiar form of Fit shadowed on the fabric.

"Hey Fit," he calls. "I was just finishing up."

"Yeah?" Fit replies. "And what was all that about then?"

"I'm fine."

"Philza. I've known you since you were twenty one and stupid. You're not fine."

Fit already knows - Fit was there - and Philza does not have the energy to argue.

"Come in, then, if you really want to see me naked."

"I always do, big boy," Fit responds.

The shower curtain shifts, and then falls back into place. Fit, also naked, prosthetic removed, joins Philza in the shower.

His eyes, immediately, fall on Philza's back.

"What did you break?" Fit asks.

Philza laughs in reply.

"Can I touch?"

"Go ahead, I can't stop you."

"Don't you know it."

Fit presses in close, and places his hand on his back. Gently at first he traces over smarting skin, and then combs his fingers through feathers as he checks.

"I think I just strained it is all," Philza replies. "I'll be fine in the morning."

Fit keeps working; Philza hasn't been fine in a very, very long time.

From gentle, assessing touches, Fit moves on to massaging across Philza's shoulder, and down his spine. Philza has no doubt the man will drag Missa into a joint preening session later, but for now...

"Etoiles is worried, you know?" Fit says. "He knows something is up. Most of them do."

"So long as they keep it to weird looks not questions, I don't fucking care," Philza replies. "I can fight fine with a gun and Crow, I don't need this."

Fit runs two fingers across the mangled tops of Philza's wings, the bones twisted where they healed out of shape, but in such a way it just looks like he was born with them malformed. It's normal, for an Avian, for their wings to be fucked up. Why wouldn't Philza's be the same?

He misses the sky. Fuck, he misses the sky so goddamned much.

The fingers press into an especially sore spot. For a moment Philza is blinded by the memory of much crueller hands, of something purple and something sadistic.

He gasps, and it is gone, just him and Fit in the shower again.

"Do you need some of my painkillers?" Fit asks, quiet despite his voice, almost hidden in the noise of the shower.

"I'll be fine. Just need to let it rest," Philza replies. "I should get to my shift. It's probably time, right?"

Fit hesitates, but hums an agreement. Philza has no doubt that some will appear at some point, probably on his tray with lunch. Still, if neither asks, neither tells.

"You should tell him," Fit says. "Etoiles. If you're going to keep fighting together, he needs to know."

Philza winced as his back tensed, "later. I'll do it later."

"Phil."

"What? Are you going to tell Pac about-"

Fit slams a hand over Philza's mouth.

"That's different!"

Philza licks him. Fit pulls away; Philza wins, and turns so they're face to face.

"I've got work. Will be seeing you. Want me to send Pac over?"

"Phil!"

Philza doesn't care for the mock offence. He laughs as he ducks around Fit. The showers are empty, except for the two of them - suspiciously empty. He can hear Fit follow him out of the shower, but ignores him as he dresses.

They don't ignore each other - not exactly. Fit helps Philza tie his shit behind his neck, back still too sore to reach up himself, and they brush arms when the vulnerability has them loose themselves in fear for a second or three. Still, they say nothing more - what else needs to be said?

Outside the door, Etoiles waits. Philza is a little surprised to see his kids are not, but maybe Missa woke up already.

Etoules watches him, but does not say much. Its uncharacteristic how quiet he is - or maybe not, as he analyses.

Philza greets him, and walks past.

As he walks away he feels assessing eyes on his ugly, scarred back.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I've seen a few people saying that the people who don't like how Lila is written are just impatient or lack imagination, can we be certain beyond all reasonable doubt that that's not true?

Alright, I'll play devil's advocate for you and show you how, even if we view Lila's writing in the most favorable light possible, it's still perfectly reasonable to have no faith in her as the main villain. In fact, to my line of thinking, it's a little insane to have any faith that she'll be good moving forward. For the sake of your own mental well being, expect her to be terrible otherwise you will likely be terribly disappointed.

The main argument against Lila is that she tells really stupid obvious lies that no one would be fooled by, so how can she possible be seen as a master manipulator by the audience? Well, if we accept that Lila's lies were just exaggerated for the sake of humor the same way that Marinette's crush is played up for humor, then we can hope that that humor will go away and that she'll be played serious now that she's our main antagonist.

This is actually a fair argument. I truly think that this might have been the intent, it just failed to land because the lies are a serious plot point while Marinette's crush antics are not. People wanted Lila outed and every lie was used to hurt Marinette, so the quality of Lila's lies mattered because that's the way that the way that you out a liar. Marinette's crush was never going to be outed by her antics. They were the main way that the writers kept the crush going for five seasons without outing it!

So while you might find the antics just as frustrating as the lies, the expectations built around the antics were met. They never lead to anything. Meanwhile, the expectations built around the lies were never met. Lila was outed by a forced confession, not by her lies even though, when you introduce a liar, audiences will expect the lies to be their undoing. So the lies are bad writing in and of themselves, which is strike one, but we can hope they change so let's move on to strike two: the lie's effect on the cast.

Marinette's antics only made her look bad while Lila's lies made everyone look bad. This is a big, concerning issue since we know that Lila will be a student at Marinette's school again, meaning that it's perfectly reasonable to assume that she'll keep on lying. It's also reasonable to assume that she'll be in every episode.

Even if you take Lila in the kindest light possible and assume that she told decent lies, the writers appear to only know how to write her by dumbing everyone else down and that's concerning. Characters like Max and Alya are supposed to be smart. Max looks into everything and quotes random statistics. Yet he never questioned Lila even though a smart kid like him would be inclined to look into some of the stuff she says just out of pure curiosity and a desire to learn.

We could pretend that Lila told a believable lie about Ladybug like "Ladybug saved me" instead of "Ladybug is my best friend," but even then, Alya learning Marinette's identity still should have been the end of Lila's power over Alya. But the writers didn't know how to handle Alya knowing since Alya would confront Lila, so Alya stayed on team Lila even though it makes no sense and makes her look terrible.

We could pretend that Lila planted better evidence than doilies that Marinette could have taken for free from her parent's shop. That still doesn't excuse Tom and Sabine from immediately believing that their daughter was a thief. They're supposed to be good parents who trust their kid, but the writers don't know how to write that around Lila.

And giving Lila all of that grace makes no sense because it relies on you giving the writers faith that they haven't earned. They had full control over Lila! They knew that she was going to be the next big bad! And yet they wrote her in a way that is totally unbelievable.

Even if Lila's upgrade was decided late in the game, they still could have spent seasons five changing her character to be smarter, but they didn't. Most of the above examples come from season five! It's perfectly reasonable to look at that and say, "I have no faith that you're going to completely reimagine this character into something interesting instead of something frustrating because you have spent five seasons writing her poorly."

And if that's still not enough for you, then here's strike three: The writers have proven time and time again that they cannot write a truly clever character. Lila's most convincing episodes are petty BS that she makes up on the fly. When it comes to complex plots? Lila, Gabriel, and Marinette never come across as particularly impressive.

Others have talked about this, but pretty much every big dramatic plan relies on the writers being able to control the characters' actions. They're not plans that would actually work. Here are just a few examples:

Lila's plan to go to the mansion and get the butterfly only works because the writers know that the butterfly will be unguarded. No reasonable person would assume that would happen because why would it? So why did she go to the mansion? What was her original plan? How does she even know that the butterfly is up for grabs? In a good story, she would have had a plan that lead her to the mansion, but that plan gets scrapped based on what she sees. We don't get that good quality writing because the writers already know that the butterfly will be open season so they never bothered to make Lila's actions logical to any other scenario. They didn't even bother to have her watching the final fight.

Along similar lines, Gabriel only gets all of the miraculouses because Adrien has an evil twin who shows up when the plot demands it. Without Felix, Gabriel would have once again failed and Felix's betrayal makes no sense, especially after his season five characterization. Felix fears his uncle, why offer all of the miraculous AND Adrien's ring? Why not only offer a few? And why is Gabriel able to open the yo-yo and get the miraculouses? The yo-yo opens to a phone, the miraculouses, and a purse. Why would Gabriel be able to control which one it opens to or even open it at all? Especially since access to the miraculouses was implied to be a Guardian power. And why does Felix not immediately betray Gabriel? He's got no reason to stay loyal and he supposedly wants his uncle stopped. Answer: because then the plot would fall apart.

Marinette's plan to hide her identity via the kwamis was asinine and clearly made up last minute by the writers. It would have been very easy to foreshadow this plan by having her hide something in Chat Noir's bell back in season four, but they didn't because the writers didn't actually plan out this plan. There's also the fact that we're apparently supposed to think that the Tom and Sabines is the only bakery in Paris? "Follow the smell of croissants" would not get you to a specific bakery nor would it get you to Marinette's room. It would get you to the bakery. Yet Gabriel goes to the right bakery and to Marinette's room because that's what the writers needed him to do.

I just... how can anyone look at the last five seasons and think, "oh sure, this show can handle having someone who plots and manipulates as the main villain! I'm sure that will lead to lots of satisfying episodes?"

It's not impossible, miracles do happens, but it's the height of arrogance - or perhaps desperation - to act like it's unreasonable to assume that the first five seasons weren't a reasonable representation of the writing quality that we'll be seeing in future seasons. They're not replacing the writing team. What you've seen is most likely also what you'll get. Do you have five bad meals at a restaurant and then say, "It's unreasonable to assume that meal six will be bad, too! Have some faith in the chef."

[cosmicjoke]

See, this conversation really highlights everything that's wrong with not just the Loki show, but the MCU in general now.

What they highlight here, about Loki's conversation with Mobius, and how dismissive and flippant he is while talking about what he did he New York, like it's all some silly joke that shouldn't be taken seriously, like it wasn't a big deal, like what he was feeling while he did what he did wasn't a big deal, is really the heart of the problem. Nobody takes anything seriously in universe, so how the hell is the audience supposed to take anything they do, think or feel seriously?

They've reduced Loki's entire character to a joke. They've reduced what he went through in the first Thor film into to a joke, what he went through when he fell through space and landed in Thanos' clutches into a joke, what happened during the first Avengers film into a joke. Everything's a big, fucking joke now. How can anybody like this? Don't they see what the writers of this trash are doing? They're shitting all over you by shitting all over the thing you love. By making fun of it and undercutting it, they're telling you you were stupid to ever take any of it seriously. It's the ultimate form of disrespect to the fans. It's a blunt insult.

This kind of shit drives me absolutely up a wall. It's so awful. And what they say in this video is so spot on. Loki started out having such depth and gravitas and presence. He started off as such a commanding, attention grabbing, complex character. And now, he's just some guy who eats pie and talks about his feelings, but with a flippancy which tells you that he doesn't actually have any feelings at all. He's just a hollow cut out that's full of shit. It's such a god damn joke.

People shouldn't settle for this. They shouldn't praise it because 'well, it's not as bad as the first season'. Because that's such a high bar to clear? Loki getting kneed in the nuts over and over by Sif. That's the bar you're clearing. Loki falling in love with a variant of himself after knowing her for five whole minutes, for no discernible reason, because who the fuck would love Sylvie, the most obnoxious bitch in the universe ? Loki getting man-handled and getting his ass handed to him by a bunch of humans with taser sticks. Loki being made a fool of every other scene. Loki losing every fight he gets into. Loki being tricked and outsmarted at every turn. Loki being so narcissistic and brain dead, that he can't see when he's being manipulated. This guy is supposed to be a genius. He's supposed to be terrifyingly smart. Anyone who knows anything about this character knows that. But reverse psychology works on him, I guess.

So Loki does a little magic which, more than anything, just highlights the utter void of creativity in these writers minds, and we're supposed to cheer and clap? Loki is a god. Loki is the most powerful sorcerer in Asgard. He can do pretty much anything you can imagine. And this is the best they can come up with? He holds someone down with shadows on the wall. Wow. So impressive. Get the fuck out of here.

But that's really the problem. They've reduced Loki into such a shadow of what he once was, that even the barest crumbs of it that we get now, we get excited about. We praise and point to as proof that things are "better". They're not better, though. This Loki is still a clown and an idiot and acts and conducts himself in ways nothing like what was originally established with this character. This Loki still has nothing to do with the original character's story or history in the MCU. They make passing references to that history, and play it off for laughs, instead of actually delving deep into it and exploring it and helping the audience to really understand and sympathize with Loki as a character.

Loki talks here about being "angry" with Thor and Odin. Okay. That would be great, except he says it like it's a joke. Imagine if instead of that, it was actually treated seriously, and we finally, finally, got an examination of what Loki was going through emotionally during the first Thor film? Imagine if Loki actually got to acknowledge the devastation he felt when he found out he was a frost giant? If he got to really acknowledge the alienation and rejection he felt upon discovering he was the very thing that his own people, the Asgardians, had always considered to be lesser beings, and not only that, but literal monsters? Imagine if he got to really express the turmoil of that? Of finding out you come from a race of beings you were raised to believe were inferior, in all ways. If he was allowed to process why he had such an overwhelming emotional and mental breakdown, that he tried to destroy Jotunheim and then take over Midgard. Imagine if we got an actual acknowledgement of what lead up to all of that, with Loki feeling like an outcast, a reject among Thor's friends, among the Asgardians in general, always seen as lesser than Thor in everyone's eyes. Does nobody remember how disrespectful practically everyone was to Loki in the first Thor film? From servants to the Warriors 3 and Sif, to Heimdall. They all treated him like shit. Fucking Christ, there's a literal world of ideas and character depth to explore there, and they just... don't. They could have devoted the whole show to this and it would have been riveting. Imagine, imagine, imagine. But nope. Instead, we get a passing reference to it, written and delivered as if it was all some big comedic skit, and the rest of the show is about finding Kang so they can set up Avengers 5. Holy shit. People should not accept this as good. People should not praise or even give positive commentary on this because it's "better" than the first season. It's not better. It's more of the god damn same.

People shouldn't accept mediocrity. They should demand better. Because if they don't, Marvel and Disney will just keep putting this same shit out and think they can get away with it.

[monstrcatz]

another sander sides au: actors!!

roman and remus would be genuine twins irl, but get this they're british. british people who do very good american accents. they're very close despite their characters being distant and hating one another.

roman is more shy irl then his character. but he's very similar in aesthetic tastes. probably cause he's British but he can be pretty proper. he also doesn't know jack shit about American history so sometimes he won't get certain references the cast makes.

remus is more modest, but he fs would make some inappropriate jokes. compilations being made titled "remus being like sanders!Remus for 8 minutes and 17 seconds". still the gremlin out of the two twins.

logan would also be british maybe, and i think he'd be more goofy in real life rather than smart and strict. he's actually very chill compared to others.

patton would be the most sarcastic as well as knowledgeable. people would joke that him and logan switch personalities irl. he's actually a bit more a dad in real life than on screen. think kind of pedro pascal.

thomas is just thomas, he'd be the most like his character out of them all.

janus would be soo sassy and that's why janus in the series would get sassier as times went on rather than dark and edgy, because he would deliver lines in a certain way and the audience would eat it up. he'd be the second nicest person on set. he'd talk about how he actually hates snakes in real life, and gets freaked out by his scaly makeup most the time.

virgil would be the biggest sweetheart. like hed be super sweet. every time his character says something remotely mean he's always apologizing the second the scene cuts. a big contrast to his edgy, emo persona.

Joan and Talyn are the directors / producers!!!

they would be known as one of the most genuine casts, and even once the series eventually ends they would all still be super close and hang out a lot.

🎭

does some of this make sense to their characters? no!! but that's okay because it's an actor au it's supposed to be different irl.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

The Dark Secret of Kung Fu Panda, Part 2...

...if you're coming from a place of Western tropes and values, you need to read Shifu as a shitty teacher, or the story doesn't scan.

Oh, and also a shitty parent, a shitty student of kung fu, and a shitty student of Buddhism.

(Sorry, little dude.)

I've already unpacked the teacher part, but all these things are a result of trying to write a story set in China, that both Chinese and Western audiences will understand. They did very well! But there's always a few folks who aren't able to keep up with a complex read like this - and they don't go, "Oh well, this story wasn't for me," they get mad at the characters and the writers.

So! Let's talk more about kung fu, Buddhism, child development, tropes and subversions - and whether that shiny piece of paper Tai Lung was after actually meant something or was just an elaborate troll.

I like to go to TVTropes and read the Headscratchers. For a storyteller like me, it's like playing Narrative Minesweeper. Let's see, did anyone have trouble with this plot point? (click) Ah, not too bad. What about this one? (click)

(Check that link! This is the page for Kung Fu Panda 2! People are really upset about this!)

KABOOM! Oh, man. Okay. Let's plant a flag in that and try to figure out why it blew up so bad.

Something I've seen across stories is that audiences have a really hard time noticing that they are being lied to when characters or narrators say one thing and do another. I think it's a mirage coughed up by the suspension of disbelief required to consume a story in the first place. We see a lot of villains who are supposed to be criminal masterminds, yet to make the plot go they have to behave like utter idiots. We're willing to put up with that, as long as it seems like they're supposed to be brilliant in-universe.

Then Rian Johnson throws a character like Miles Bron at us. The whole point of Miles is we're supposed to roll with the "in-universe mastermind" tropes, but only up to a point. The message of the film rests on the audience's ability to snap out of it, pick up their critical thinking skills and go, "Yeah, this guy never did one smart thing. Just a lot of audacious things, because he's too sheltered and dumb to understand the consequences."

But if you check the Headscrachers for Glass Onion (and if you care to look at any right-wing critiques of the film), you'll find a lot of people groping for reasons Miles is smart, actually. Maybe Blanc just called him dumb to get a rise out of him! Maybe he's smart socially but dumb with business! Or vice-versa! Maybe the film is badly-written!

No, he is very dumb. Truly. And I don't think the film is badly-written. But some people just blow right trough a sign reading "STOP RIGHT HERE, THIS TROPE IS BEING SUBVERTED, THE DETOUR IS THIS WAY" stagger off the path, and wind up dead in a ditch. Metaphorically speaking.

The above Troper - who is upset by Tai Lung's lack of a redemption arc, while expecting a nuanced story where the bad guys aren't all bad - has failed to detect a nuanced story where the good guys aren't all good.

In China, audiences need a stop sign that reads "Actually, the brilliant teacher is still learning and can do even better." This isn't too jarring, especially given the relationship between Oogway and Shifu. Shifu admits Oogway is a better teacher than him, and smarter than him. Even when he doesn't understand the lesson and loses hope of ever understanding it, he doesn't blame the turtle, he blames himself for just not getting it, and prepares to clean up his mess the best way he knows how. For his part, Oogway was clearly trying to get some hard lessons into Shifu's head - up to and including, "You don't actually need me to guide you down the path, you need to start looking around and trying to understand it for yourself..."

"Bye-eeee!"

Oogway is teaching in accordance with Theravada Buddhism, which is basically the philosophical equivalent of trying to get the dog to notice you've dropped the bacon on the ground and he's not gonna get anything by sniffing your fingers.

Tai Lung's return is an emergency situation, and if Shifu's not careful he'll be trying to reach enlightenment from the Spirit Realm (which does seem doable, given that Oogway continues to train and meditate himself). So Oogway leaves Shifu a $50, says, "You will have to find bacon without me," and buggers off. Permanently. And you know what? After three films, it works!

"Ah, you have finally mastered your Pride. Never stop learning, my most stubborn student!"

On the other hand, a Western audience has much less patience for jerk-ass teachers - and while they do have experience with Trickster mentors, it's much harder for them to see where Oogway is coming from, and why he nopes out instead of just being honest when it's important! They need a much bigger stop sign that says, "SHIFU IS ACTUALLY A SLOW STUDENT AND A BAD TEACHER AND OOGWAY HAS BEEN DESPERATELY TRYING, AND FAILING, TO CORRECT THIS PROBLEM FOR DECADES." But that's unnecessary and nonsensical in China. What we ended up with is much more subtle and open to interpretation. Some people decided to interpret it as, "Oogway's a troll, Shifu's an idiot, Tai Lung got a raw deal, nobody ever admits any of this, and this movie is stupid."

It's true, nobody ever gets called a troll or an idiot - that would be incredibly disrespectful in China, so that's a nonstarter - so you have to draw your own conclusions based on what they do. We see Shifu having a lot of difficulty in picking up what Oogway is laying down. He trusts Oogway implicity and knows there is always some kind of wisdom being imparted, but he gets impatient and tries to speed up the lesson, or he grabs for the most obvious interpretation and runs, or he just gives up and falls back to something he understands a little better.

Like when he gets sick of waiting for Oogway to blow out the candles and get to the point and he douses all of them with a cool move. Oogway is modeling the behaviour he'd like to see - Shifu really needs to slow down and learn patience. But Shifu responds as if the lesson is, "My Master needs help blowing out candles!" which is just silly, but he's going too fast and not paying attention.

Now watch Po listen to Oogway... and watch Oogway listen to Po! Oogay doesn't run in and go, "We don't have time for this! Tai Lung's coming! Get your shit together!" He lets Po set the pace, reflects back his feelings, and offers a little nudge. Which Po absorbs and thinks about at his own pace, instead of pushing to understand everything as fast as possible right now. Ideally, that's how it should go, but with Shifu this approach has about as much impact as boinking croutons off a brick wall.

So it's not too difficult to imagine that Shifu let his pride get the better of him in educating Tai Lung, while ignoring multiple nudges from his own teacher, because he was just too focused on his ultimate goal and going too fast.

In this case, his ultimate goal was a shiny piece of paper his Master rolled up and stuck in a cool-looking temple, all to give some future student a nudge to help them understand, "Self-worth isn't earned or bestowed in this way, it is intrinsic." And Shifu focused on proving his worth as a teacher by trying to turn out a student who was worthy of the scroll!

"Son, I am beginning to suspect you just ain't right in the head."

How can a friend and teacher manage this without stepping off the path of Theravada Buddhism, which a Chinese audience will recognize and expect to remain consistent? The only thing to do is back off, give your student some room to screw up, and nudge him again when he's open to listening.

Unfortunately, that took a very long time. Decades. In the meantime, Tai Lung grew up expecting to make his father proud by earning the scroll.

"What do you MEAN I spent my whole life training and I'm STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH?"

There is something that I was taught explicitly, because I learned how to teach preschoolers: it is super easy to get kids to believe your love is conditional and dependent on their ability to get good grades and perform. Like, you can swear up and down that you love your child no matter what, but if you lose your shit and take them to Disneyland when they make Student of the Month, the kid is going to draw their own conclusions. You know how Tai Lung complains about how hard Shifu drove him to train? You can do that with praise just as easily as with discipline. More easily, sometimes.

In China, that's a perfectly acceptable way to teach a child, no further explanation necessary. In the West, not so much, but the writers can't hit us over the head with how wrong it is because in China, it's fine. So we have to watch and pay attention to how they act.

In the flashbacks, we never see Shifu being anything but loving and supportive, even when Tai Lung rips off a piece of his moustache and causes him obvious pain.

We never see the leopard boy eat all of his dad's bamboo furniture and cause a freakout (presumably followed by apologies on both sides). Young Shifu seems to have two modes of parenting and teaching: "I'm proud of you" and "Wow! Great job! I'm extra proud of you!" the second of which is reserved for punching and kicking real good. If that's all his dad seems to want from him, and the solution to every problem is to train harder and punch and kick better, it's possible Tai Lung's first experience with real failure is not getting the Dragon Scroll. You know, the thing his dad named him after.

His lack of experience with failure is evident in his reaction; he has no emotional maturity, he's like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. Shifu taught him how to punch and kick real good, and did not teach him how to deal with failure, frustration, and a lack of outside validation. That's because Shifu himself is super bad at all those things!

Kung fu is not just punching and kicking and going as hard as you can, it is listening and adapting and approaching situations with open-minded humility. When Shifu rolls up and presents his first student like an art project to be graded, Oogway knows he done messed up. All he can do is nudge them away from a lesson neither one of them is ready to learn yet, and back off.

"Ultimately, my stubborn student, this is my failure, but I'm not sure how to resolve this situation. And your kid is a ticking time bomb, do you not even see that?"

Unfortunately, Shifu's flawed teaching method has resulted in a student who knows nothing but punching and kicking, so all he can do is punch and kick. Real good. "Laying waste" to the village was a late add, to help the audience understand how badly Tai Lung melted down, but it makes perfect sense in this context. If he's not getting the validation he needs for his skill, he'll beat up the whole Valley trying to prove he's the best. And when he gets back to the Jade Palace, no, somehow he has still not punched and kicked hard enough to get what he's after, so he tries to beat up the people standing in his way. Maybe that's how you prove yourself worthy of the scroll!

Alas, it was not. And with a student too misguided and dangerous to teach - yet who still might be able to learn, and help Shifu learn - pausing his rampage for a few decades to allow Shifu some more time to get a clue was the best option Oogway had.

Thank heaven for plot devices!

It turns out, Shifu is capable of improving, through immense pain and suffering. After his failure with Tai Lung, Shifu's despair leads him to fall face first into teaching Tigress with Oogway's method...

...That is, at least he backs off and lets her learn she's going to get no validation from the outside, so she stops looking for it. That's enough to keep her from having a total meltdown when she doesn't get what she wants - it's not a betrayal, it's just par for the course. She goes off by herself, because she's learned to solve her own damn problems (as have the rest of the Five, who follow her), and she almost gets them all killed, 'cos Shifu still doesn't know how to teach humility.

It takes him a few movies - he expects to learn everything through hard work and suffering and so, inevitably, he does.

Just to hammer home how badly Shifu messed up, and how fundamentally flawed Tai Lung's understanding of kung fu is, when Po just hands him the scroll, Tai Lung doesn't get it.

Po is a Mahayana Buddhist. He always tries to enlighten his enemies. When they make it clear they're not ready for it, he'll do what he can to keep them from screwing up everyone else's chance to learn.

So Tai Lung gets yeeted direct to the Spirit Realm. But, it is possible to keep learning in the Spirit Realm, as Oogway and Kai show us in the third film. We just don't see Tai Lung again until the animated series, 'cos no matter how cute he is, he's not the protagonist.

Also, I think the writers can't help but noticed how badly Tai Lung's arc landed with some audience members. There is no good way to address that in under two hours of film. Look how long it took me to unpack it in text!

In the end, the Dragon Scroll isn't meant to be useless, or an elaborate troll from a Trickster archetype. It's a nudge in the right direction. For Po and Shifu, once they slowed down and thought about it, it landed. Tai Lung just wasn't there yet, and showing him that the scroll was nothing but a shiny piece of paper wouldn't have gotten him there, no matter when it happened. But respect to the Dragon Warrior for trying, that's just how he rolls. He's not wrong to try, but Oogway's also not wrong about enlightenment not being a thing to teach.

That's why ya boi gets Oogway's staff, and Shifu ends the film series still needing a little more time to learn.

[olderthannetfic]

Seeing how angry people get at anyone mentioning "yeah kids were rude to other kids who weren't into a popular thing" makes me wonder if anyone reading your blog interacts with children. HP wasn't a big thing in my country, but kids absolutely are snooty little jerks to other kids for liking or not liking the right/wrong TV shows, music and clothes. That some people are so terminally online that they're like "😂you expect me to believe a kid was rude to another kid 😂that's crazy like gtfo fr on god" is sad. Speak to a child. Talk to a teacher. At the school I work at, kids get made fun of for not being into Minecraft or, past the age of ten, still being into it because it's a baby game. Is every child lying to me? Is every kid who makes fun of a kid in front of me lying and actually is secretly totally fine with their peers liking the thing?

Kids are sometimes jerks. I know. It's a scary thought. Kids are the sugary sweet props for your babies-ever-after fanfics who have the eyes of one parent and the hair of another, named after a dead character, here to signal to the audience that all is well. They're not supposed to have negative traits, they're here to signal the OTP is truly the one true pairing. But much to the dismay of many a writer and parent, the crotch dumpling often grows to express feelings and thoughts and, regrettably, not all of them are sweet Hallmark card shit.

One kid has been bullied so badly at the school I teach at that his parents are withdrawing him from school. He's very smart and skipped two years. "😂you're saying he's #Different" yes. And I don't think any amount of emojis is going to make his stuff being tossed in the trash and having water dumped on it less bad for him, I don't think any amount of "you expect me to believe a kid was mean to another kid?!" is going to make another kid shoving him down the stairs and him breaking his ankle better, and I don't think any degree of "faaaake everyone knows kids are nice" is going to make coming to school and finding a drawing someone did of him hanging himself less traumatic.

I get it. Imagining kids as sweet innocent babies is a nice coping mechanism to deal with adult life. Creating the construct of a gentler world where no one is ever cruel serves a psychological purpose. But maybe try doing that with fanfic? Because this "pfft kids are never bad" take is how you get parents who go, "I don't care that you have security cam footage of my daughter pushing him down the stairs, she would never do that, she's just a kid" in spite of the evidence directly in front of their eyes.

I knew people in fandom were socially lagging but to be so far behind as to not know kids are jerks... this is just pathetic. Please go interact with a human being outside of Discord and tumblr.

--

No one said any of this. They just thought that other anon's way of writing was histrionic.

[toon-bunny]

Cathal head canons!!! I'm crazy about this guy so please be warned that there is a LOTTTTT under the cut

voice: Andrew VanWyngarden. soft tone, high pitch, speaks kinda slowly, little bit of vocal fry. breathy/hiccup-y laugh. definitely has that muffled synthetic sound like the in-game voice too

speaking sample (please ignore the weird title, this is just a good compilation)

singing sample (I don't imagine them singing, but I do like the voice effect here and the cadence)

personality: extremely perceptive and smart. friendly, light-heartedly sarcastic guy with a metric ton of non-emotive autism. it's kind of deceiving? because when u think of non-emotive autism u think of a guy who never smiles or changes pitch but Cathal is passively very smiley and has a laid back demeanor. very interesting guy to me. he is VERY passionate about his interests, they just aren't indulged/taken seriously by others so it's believed he just doesn't give a fuck about anything. that and they're still not very animated when infodumping

background…

very alienated from living kind of outside of the cogs lifestyle. not that he should be pitied for not having to work, but how do you live and socialize in a culture completely dedicated to work when you don't Do That. but I think he would have odd friendships with other sellbot managers and probably some others

they have a good relationship with dad of course. I like to think that Allan Gets him and doesn't give him a hard time for his perceived lack of passion or anything like that. but giving him a very cushy job and continuing to encourage him w/ said job that doesn't interest him is just how Allan thinks is the best way to support him. I don't remember where I read this but I love the idea that Allan isn't emotionally getting anything out of his job either BUT he's better at masking that and believes he will if he keeps doing his best - it's "supposed" to feel good. sorry wait this is just me thinking about Allan

I do like the idea that, in addition to this job not really aligning with Cathal's interest, they also dgaf because no one would take them seriously in this position anyway even if they DID try. not only do they look silly and non-serious, they'd still be resented for having this position even if they proved they were qualified for it. so it becomes a feedback loop. I'm basically making a ton of reasons as to why he acts the way he does in canon which might seem excessive when ONE trait would explain it alone, but I really like when there are a bunch of experiences/symptoms/etc that foster a particular behavior/outlook and can't be untangled from each other

I think he likes TV shows because they kind of fill the void of connection with others… cartoons kind of endear them to toons but also whenever a character that represents someone like him shows up, they're 1) malicious and greedy, fat as shorthand for capitalist monster or 2) a selfish, stuffy nerd who's meant to be ridiculed by the audience. so no, liking cartoons doesn't necessarily make him more sympathetic to the toons' cause or push him to help, bc he's led to believe he also doesn't have a place in their society

all of the above points also make them a little intimidated by activism and seeking a better life. I think he got cornered into a particular brand of quiet nihilism. I am definitely inspired by this song

in terms of disabilities and conditions…..chronic insomnia from snoozing and lazing about all day, not getting any energy out when it's appropriate. CFS like crazzzzy. autism of course. and also ADHD's brother, cognitive disengagement syndrome

hobbies/interests…

expanding on their canon interest in TV shows, I'm handing my luv of animation to them, but I also think this is the type of guy who could watch scarier stuff and just enjoy the artistry of it. as in "oh wow those practical effects are so well done" (guy who's unfazed by the horrors). (I'm so jealous of this I want to have this ability)

I think they'd like retro games more than I do, he seems like they'd enjoy a good GBA title. maybe roguelikes and metroidvanias, stuff that could be considered tedious and punishing to some but a really fun and rewarding way to waste time to others. he's got a lot of time on his hands to metaphorically bash his head against the wall with more difficult titles ykwim?

this bit's inspired by my friend's AU Toon After Time, I can't undo the association between them and tech knowledge/know-how LOL. I knowwww he collects VHS tapes and other old equipment and can also troubleshoot anything to do with old TVs, VCRs, etc

other details…

I KNOWWWWW it's so cliche to give the cogs tails but I can't help it I LOVE ROBOT TAILS. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. plus I love the idea that if cogs have tails, they are prehensile, but Cathal can't even be arsed and just lets it drag everywhere so it's all worn out and torn up from getting stepped on/caught in stuff. I also like the idea of it flopping VERY slowly once or twice if they're happy. like a very old dog wagging its tail

inspired by this post by bunglefication, I love the idea that Gizmo is treated well by Cathal and is more like a service animal to them :D so awesomes

bc my friend suggested "closet femme Cathal" once I am now 100% sold on Cathal dressing at least a little more femme at home 🌈 likes to get cutes with it for funsies. other than that, I like the idea of 90s tech guy/TTRPG guy type clothing for them. like imagine a Best Buy employee or Blockbusters employee in the 90s do you see my vision

[yellowloid]

i think one of the main problems of tumblr (and fandom culture, and the internet in general) is that people tend to forget as human beings we are made of multitudes. nothing is ever just black or white - there are infinite shades of grey in between and that is the very thing that makes us, well, human.

sometimes people have contrasting opinions within themselves and - guess what - even contrasting feelings. sometimes people feel strongly about stuff and that is okay. you can love something/someone so much and at the same time find yourself disappointed by something related to it/them. that happens. it's okay.

i'm not gonna talk about what's going on on twitter because tbh i haven't checked so i have no idea wtf they're on about there, but i want to focus on our little tumblr community - which is so special because of the fact that it is (mostly) conflict-free, and if there's something we share it's a kind of visceral love for the boys that i'm sure everyone here can understand.

this is not an indirect @ anyone in particular, but i've seen some posts going around talking about all the negativity on the dash after last night, and i wanted to share my two cents on that.

we all love them. we all fucking love them so much and we know every time they set foot on stage we're guaranteed to be blown away by how fucking good and special and talented they are. they know how to deliver a spectacular performance (even in emergency situations like yesterday, with alex's laryngitis which is definitely far from gone) and they know how to keep the audience's attention fixed on them. they're a special kind of hypnotising, and every show is unique in and of itself *because* of their incredible presence, regardless of what setlist they might give us.

we all know that, and yesterday's show was no exception. it was amazing, powerful and breathtaking like every show they deliver. mindblowing, as always. as simple as that.

and that's exactly what can turn disappointing real quick. they know how fucking good they are. they know how much potential they have, and that all this tour they've been using up to 10% of said potential. they're incredibly talented and smart, and still decide to stick to their comfort zone every. single. night. with few exceptions, obviously, and mostly never from the album they're supposed to be touring. that's what upsets people here - the fact that they're letting their own HUGE potential go to waste.

glastonbury is a milestone. they had nothing to prove, of course, having headlined it already and more than once in the past. everyone knows what they're capable of. but glastonbury is special, too, and instead if felt like just another random show they could then go and tick off their list. done, next. rinse and repeat.

and of course we also all know it was an emergency. alex has been straining his voice for a long time now - the three consecutive london gigs were the breaking point, and i'm so glad they took a bit of time to let him rest, despite the fact that they probably hated having to cancel the dublin show. but they couldn't ditch glasto, and so they showed up and they did a fucking amazing job. alex sounded so good and i think i can speak for all of us when i say i was so incredibly relieved to see he was okay. i was shaking and biting my nails worried sick about him for DAYS up to the moment they appeared on stage and seeing him get up there and kill it with a fucking crazy performance, putting in all that effort and dedication despite the fact that he's no doubt still recovering (no way his laryngitis is 100% gone, and i hope he gets some more rest because he needs it) made me so proud of him, so fucking happy and proud and i couldn't really love him more. i love him so much, i love them all so much and i know everyone here also does. no one here is blaming it on him for whatever happened yesterday. we're all just fucking glad and grateful he could show up in the first place. he's the most special most talented most beautiful little guy ever and we all love and cherish him so much it hurts. and he did so fucking well, as always. i hope he knows that, and i hope he knows he's allowed to be sick and he's not to blame for anything. i would personally fight anyone who dared say anything bad about him because no one fuck's with tumblr's most beautiful most precious babygirlboy. no one!!!!!

having said that, big changes in the setlist - especially a live debut of hello you or other new songs - were highly unlikely and we all knew that. they probably wouldn't have had the chance to rehearse due to alex's sickness. and that's okay! sure everyone would love to see those songs finally make their grand debut. but that can wait, because alex's health is more important.

and let's face it. i don't think it's that big of a reach to say that even if alex hadn't been sick, the setlist wouldn't have changed that much anyway. there's songs that simply cannot be scrapped, songs to which they're particularly attached and songs to which average fans are also particularly attached. then there's songs that have been on rotation, and songs that have finally already made a comeback during the sheffield shows. taking away all that, the songs that have an actual real possibility of coming back aren't that many - as much as it hurts me to say it, they won't be playing secret door or piledriver waltz or batphone or whatever more niche song anytime soon. and we know that, no one *really* expects them to. because they have to gather to the general crowd, and as repetitive as their current setlist might be, it works. could house more new songs - they skipped big ideas? and songs such as mr schwartz and iaqwitia haven't made a comeback in such a long while... but still. it's bomb. it works, and it works fucking well.

however, there were other changes that could have been made to make glasto special - changes that wouldn't have been a risk to alex's health; small things that could have made a difference, even a tiny one. @mrschwartz said it perfectly in her tags (i hope it's okay to show these sbfksjf i just think you put it into words really well):

it WAS a win. the sole fact of headlining glasto, in and of itself, is a win. a big fucking one at that. and little changes could have been made to make it memorable - to make it stand out when compared to every other gig they played this tour. there definitely were highlights - not only with alex's antics but also lyrically, with the jet skis/iwby/star treatment moment, which was OUTSTANDING - but for the rest nothing really spoke GLASTONBURY. nothing else *really* stood out, and that's a shame.

(not even gonna touch on the miles thing because yeah we all know they probably wanted to do it but couldn't for some reason; it's pretty clear rn that him showing up in london was to make up for him not being able to be there yesterday; we all had our suspicions and they were right. still bummed tho because them playing glasto together is a tradition!)

but considered all that, it is what it is. no one is gonna go around unstanning them because of last night. if anything, when they pull this shit they just make us want to follow them even more, to see what they'll be up to in the next shows. what aces they have up their sleeves - because we know just as well as they know that they have many. they're just too comfortable in their routine to pull them all out, and hopefully sometime in the near future we'll get to see more of what they can really do.

again, it was an amazing show. my heart was beating so fast and i kept grinning like an idiot at the screen, just because they were there. just because they showed up in the first place, with their talent and beauty and power and insane energy. just because i love them so much i can't even begin to explain it.

and i was a bit disappointed, too. because we know how much potential they have. because if they can put up an amazing show like that using only a crumble of that potential, we can only imagine how insanely spectacular of a performance they could deliver if they used even a little bit more of it.

but they refuse to, and that's what can be upsetting. but it doesn't take away the love we have for them. the two things can coexist, and they don't take away from each other. if anything, i woke up this morning with even more love for them than i did yesterday, exactly because they frustrate me with how legendary they are, and how bad i want them to show that to the whole world.

i love them, i'm disappointed, and that's not gonna stop me from loving them even more.

[mootmuse]

'The Terror retold exactly the same except' AUs:

Fitzjames and Franklin speak in valley girl accents to each other ('That Francis guy is such a bummer, I swear.' 'Right??? You are so nice to him and he does not deserve it.' Most of their scenes would read exactly the same.)

Hickey is making food blogs the entire time. See this real youtube video thumbnail that gave a friend the idea:

modern AU:

Corporate AU. heavy emphasis on the lunch meetings purely because there's so much comedic potential there.

The meetings function exactly like the officer's dinners on the show. I want more of them.

Fitzjames spends each and every one telling the same self-aggrandizing stories, good old boy-ing his way into duties that are technically Crozier's job without actually having Crozier's qualifications or experience.

Fitzjames' jokes are carefully crafted to appeal to the members of the racist, misogynistic good old boy's club he's desperate to join who are always delighted to have a little giggle at something they're not supposed to say. The good old boys laugh and his coworkers pat his ass in all the right parts of his stories

except for Crozier. Crozier sits through each lunch meeting looking increasingly constipated and getting increasingly more obviously buzzed each time he has to sit through one.

Fitzjames being Like That stretches meetings out long past the point where anyone else there might have been able to leave in time to get a real break. He also cheerfully suggests having these meetings after it would be time to leave for the day, because that works so much better for Franklin's schedule. (Franklin might or might not attend, of course, terribly sorry, something came up at the last minute, dreadfully kind of you all to understand.)

Blanky always laughs at Crozier when he rants about it afterward. Blanky was smart enough to not take any promotions which would require that level of corporate bullshit. Blanky is the smartest character in this fic.

Fitzjames starts the story working in sales. Please Like Me, Oh God Please Like This Shell of a Personality I Have Constructed, but professionally. When someone doesn't and it gets under his skin, it hasn't gotten under his skin, he's only pursuing inventive new strategies for interdepartmental cooperation. He's pursuing that new account to make a sale, because every sale matters! He's very good at it. He's thriving. He's completely fine.

He tells a story about a time he got his picture in the papers, even while he still had that sling on from saving all those people! He's sure he looked a fright, but [important person] still had it framed at [important place], how embarrassing! Have you seen it?

The audience has to sit through every little detail of at least one of these meetings. every detail. All the small talk. All the stories. that precious lunch break, trickling away. the audience is hitting page down frantically but it's too late, Fitzjames is already telling the roast duck joke (again). Franklin laughs. All the hangers-on and underlings laugh. crozier is about to swallow his own tongue.

I love Fitzjames very much, for the record. Which is why I get so excited about where he was at at the beginning of his character arc. I think most of us have worked with this guy. Nightmare coworker (affectionate).

[specialshinytrinkets]

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts? (Seven Seven (if bestie does!!))

guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it? (Kee)

hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred? (Lioo)

mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on? (Derres)

>:3€

Ghost (Seven): "Oh, hehe, don't you worry, buddy! Nobody's haunting li'l old me! And if I was, I'd just reduce the number to zero! If we're talkin' concepts and not ghosts, then... I guess I've been haunted by the family guilt this whole time, can you believe it? Crazy stuff, I know. BUT! I have been attending therapy, and my therapist, she managed to convince me I do not have to center my whole life 'round numbers anymore. I have no idea what to do with this information, but, if I'm bein' honest, it's SO much easier to live like this. I don't have to repeat the first word two times! Do you know how hard it is to hide such a habit?! To make it into a presentable, cute little scene quirk for the audience? I had to make scripts in my head on the fly! That's right, my shows are unscripted. Pretty cool, huh? Every single one is pure improv. I've always been good at improv. Been told I'm good with kids, too! If I had the qualifications, maybe I could become an elementary school teacher."

Guilt (Kee): "I have lived too long to not have any guilt on my shoulders. It's hard to pick... I've made myself a fool countless times, with my friends, family, partners, by getting too emotional or not emotional enough talking with them; sometimes I'd get violent and fight my way to self-isolation, in attempts to "prove" something, I suppose. All of that to say, I've been a jerk my whole life. And I've accepted it, after weeks of ruminating over every single incident. Some took more time, some less, but a couple of apologies, and I was fine. The only thing I'll never be able to accept is my whole... Escape. That was very, very stupid of me. Sure, it's led to some encounters I'd never otherwise have, but it will never be worth all the stress I've put my Mom and Dad through by vanishing. And Zaaze. How she's still tolerating me is a mystery. Derres, too... How did he see anything in me when I was so... Dismissive of him? It feels like he's not a human sometimes... I hope you were not insinuating THAT thing, by the way. I don't want to remember it."

Hate (Lioo): "My father. I like to pretend he doesn't exist, so that when he's least expecting it, I can clock him in the jaw. Bastard really thought moving here would save his marriage. Freakin' moron. ... Oh, we're talking about objects? Do animals count? Then, I guess I don't really like crows? They're too smart for their own good. At least they're not as bad as dolphins, though, but that's a given. I don't know ANYONE who likes dolphins. After they rebuilt Atlantis and sunk it again, nobody trusts them. Minus that one weirdo, what was his name..? Squeel, I think? But I wouldn't trust their word. Their whole biography is so shaky that - and I know it's unfounded, but I have my reasons - I believe it was raised by the dolphins. He's just way too nice about them. Plus, I heard he smells like fish? On sidenote, I never liked his moves. They're too janky. Honestly? They're such a tryhard, it's embarassing. Even if they weren't raised by the dolphins and aren't a trained fish assassin or something, they try SO HARD to appeal to the MMD enjoyers demographic it's a WONDER nobody called him out. So what if he can lick its elbow?? It doesn't make his music good! I genuinely believe its audience is compiled of wannabe marine biologists that got kicked out of university because they let an octopus escape, knowing full well what it can lead to. I read of this guy once, who said he didn't believe in the Kraken and that we're sheeps for thinking otherwise. Sorry, fishermen, your boats got drowned by a collective hallucination, I guess! Unbelievable that guys like him get to vote... What was I talking about again? Oh, yeah, crows. They're... Not the kind of bird I'd want to encounter on an empty street. Ever."

Mistake (Derres): "Worst mistake ever, huh? Hm... Well, it's a story that I don't like to recount, but, if you insist... My biggest mistake was not teaching Lioo how to perform the spider safety circle, alongside some other basics. If I had done that, she would have survived... And we could all have... Ah, but what's the use of crying over spilled milk! I've learned my lesson, as grim as it is... And, uh, now I'm teaching her all that I know myself! That will... Never make up for what happened and my selfishness... But it's a start, right? Right..?"

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Today's episode was Protection, the one with the... oh gods, it's the Ferris wheel episode. Whhhhyyyy???? It's also the episode where Kagami gets akumatized because Lila somehow convinces her that Marinette is pretending to be a mess around Adrien and, oh, if only.

Real talk, did anyone find the Ferris wheel scene funny? I know people complain about seasons 4 & 5 turning Chloe into a caricature instead of a character, but they're doing it to everyone. The class has gone from Marinette and Adrien's friends who would like to see them together, but still have their own lives to the Adrienette squad whose sole purpose in life is shipping. It's creepy, unfunny, and frankly makes them all look like terrible friends. Even 8-year-olds would know this plan would never work. Who wants to have their first kiss with a captivated audience? It's just gross.

Adrien is also a victim of this. He's always been underdeveloped, but this season reduces him to Marinette's Perfect Boyfriend and it's.... not great. But I'll make this its own post because I don't wanna get too serious here since the episode is anything but.

Then we move on to the funniest thing that season five did: the introduction of the "arranged marriage" plot. Aka, the scene where we learn that Adrien and Kagami are supposed to end up together. Which is hilarious when you actually look at what Tomoe and Gabriel did to get Adrien and Kagami together:

Raised them on separate continents

Did nothing to introduce them beyond sending Kagami to Adrien's fencing team to try out

Did nothing to get them to start dating

Did nothing to support their relationship once it actually got going

Sent Kagami to a different school

Until this episode, I honestly had no clue that Gabe and Tomoe even knew that Adrien and Kagami had started dating. The way Lies presents the relationship, I thought it was a massive secret. Why else would Kagami have to lie about their fencing lessons to get alone time? If these two are supposed to end up together, why were they never sent on parent-approved dates? Were the senticouple designed to just go at it as soon as they saw each other, but Adrien was defective? It would explain Kagami's out-of-nowhere crush on Felix. He activated her Adrien-programming!

This is also another case of the writers forgetting that Emilie is supposed to be a good mom unless we're supposed to think that Gabe only came up with this plan after Emilie was gone? If so, how is he going to explain any of this to her?

Then we get to the part of the episode that actually could have done something clever: Lila tricking Kagami. As-is, Kagami looks like she's breathed the stupid gas that Lila emits for her lies to work. (SO's theory is that Lila is an ancient sentimonster who makes people believe her lies which would make more sense than my gas "theory") If the writers had been smart about it, this was where we could have introduced Lila's multiple identities. Have a random girl "from Kagami's class" be giving Kagami advice. Then the audience thinks it's an objective third party misreading Marinette and not Lila manipulating Kagami for... reasons? As-is, it's just dumb. Why would Kagami believe Lila? How did they even meet? I have questions....

Mild credit where it's due moment: This is also the episode with the Adrienette picnic date and while Marinette showing up in her pajamas felt super forced, Adrien matching her was super cute and I liked their almost kiss. The writers clearly can write these two cute, the hand raise scene shows that, they just chose the drama route instead. Unfortunately, they suck at drama and so does this episode.