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dukereviewsxtra · 4 years ago

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Duke Reviews Xtra: The 10th Kingdom Part 3

Part 3 Starts At Prince Wendell's Castle, Where The Royal Council Gets A Letter From Wendell (Coughs, The Evil Queen) Saying That He's Laying Low With A Sprained Ankle And Staying At The Royal Hunting Lodge Till It Gets Better...

With Most Of The Members Happy That Wendell Will Back In Time For The Big Day, One Member Is Not...

I Don't Remember These Guys Names So For Give Me If I Don't Call Them As Such...

Anyway With This One Guy Wondering Why Wendell Hasn't Done Anything About The Troll King's Challenge And His Invasion Of Beantown, He Decides To Go To The Royal Hunting Lodge To Tell Wendell About The Troll King Himself

However, There Are Eyes In That Room As The Queen Watches From One Of Her Mirrors, Contacting The Huntsman, She Sends Him To Kill The Guy Before He Tells The Council That Wendell's Letter Is A Fake...

So, He Kills Him As He Rides Back For The Castle On His Horse...

Meanwhile, Wolf And Tony Search For Virginia, Only To Hear A Wood Chopping Noise. Running Into A Woodsman With An Axe They Ask Him If That's The Magic Axe That Can Cut Through Anything...

Telling Them Maybe, He Says That They Can Have It If They Guess His Name And However, If They Haven't Guessed It By The Time He's Done Chopping All This Wood, He Will Have Wolf's Head.,,

This Leads To The Best Reaction Ever...

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(Start At 4:43, End At 4:58)

But Saying That He Knows His Name Wolf Sadly Goes Along With It, This Leads Tony To Say That His Name Is Rumplstiltskin, However, He Is Wrong Despite Saying It Again...

Tony Guesses Many Names Including Elvis And Ringo...

Go Figure...

But Eventually One Of The Talking Birds That Virginia Saved Appears And Whispers The Woodsman's Name To Tony (As It Was In The Woodsman's Hat) So He Can Say It To Save Wolf And Get The Axe So They Can Cut Virginia's Hair...

And Speaking Of Virginia, She Is Interrogated By The Huntsman Only To Be Taken To The Top Of Tree Where The Huntsman Relays His Backstory To Her, Saying That When The Queen Offered Him His Crossbow, He Killed His Own Son When He First Fired It...

Yeah, I Know It's Screwed Up, Even Virginia Thinks It's Screwed Up Believing That Everyone's Crazy Here...

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(Start At 2:35, End At 2:42)

About To Kill Her, The Huntsman Stops When He Realizes He Has Buisness Elsewhere And Leaves Virginia Where She Is, Promising To Deal With Her When He Gets Back..

Visited By Another One Of The Talking Birds She Saved, It Says That They'll Help Her One Last Time But That's It, Anyway, She Tells It To Find Tony And Wolf And Tell Them Where She Is...

Doing Just That, They Can't Find The Door Which Leads To Tony Suggesting To Chop The Tree Down, But Wolf Has A Better Plan By Using Virginia's Hair To Climb Up The Tree Like Rapunzel In The Tower...

Despite Virginia Being Against This Idea, They Do It Anyway...

Eventually Reaching The Top, Wolf Gets Virginia Free Only For The Huntsman To Return From Where He Went This Leads To A Fight Between Wolf And The Huntsman With Wolf Being The Inevitable Victor...

But Despite Wanting To Kill Him To Prevent Him From Going After Them, Virginia In An Act Of Pity, Has Wolf Spare The Huntsman's Life...

With Tony Digging The Golden Wendell Up, Wolf Uses The Axe To Cut Virginia's Hair, However, He Cuts It Shorter Than She Wanted...

Meanwhile In Beantown, The Queen Contacts The Troll King To Warn Him That His Invasion Is Inviting Trouble From The Other Kingdoms, But He Simply Says That He's Not Afraid Of Them And That He's Taking His Half Of The Kingdom Now Whether She Likes It Or Not....

Back In The Forest, Virginia And The Others Find Acorn And His Wagon, Asking Him For The Mirror While Telling Him Their Story, He Sadly Tells Them That He Doesn't Have It Anymore Saying That He Swapped It For Sheep...

Contacted By The Queen, Wolf Tells Her That He's Changed And Is No Longer In Her Service, This Leads Her To Remind Him That There's A Full Moon Out Tonight, Knowing That His Blood Is Already Boiling...

Eventually Breaking The Connection With The Queen, Wolf Goes With Virginia And Tony To The Village Where The Mirror Is...

While Slowly Transforming Into What I Like To Call PMS Wolf, What Do I Mean About That? Well, It Means Wolf's Emotions Are Going To Be Completely Mixed Going From Horny In One Moment To Cranky In Another While Also Causing Pointless Fights That Eventually Lead To The Wolf In Him Taking Over...

But We're Not There Yet So Be Patient...

Wolf Tries To Convince The Others Not To Go To The Village As He Has A Bad Feeling, But Determined To Get The Mirror Back, It Leads To Pointless Arguement #1 Between Wolf And Virginia...

Eventually Making Up With Virginia As They Arrive In Town, Our Heroes Are Met By A Shepardess Named Sally Peep (Played By Lucy Punch) Who Flirts With Wolf To Which Virginia Moves Him Along With Her And Tony...

As The Little Lamb Village Competition Goes On, Virginia And The Others Talk With The Village Idiot, Who Aside From Telling Them The Story About The Magic Wishing Well He Guards And About Prince Wendell's Coronation Gift, Doesn't Really Tell Them Much...

Spending The Night In A Barn, Wolf Acts Up Again, By Asking For A Rabbit To Cuddle Only To Lead To Pointless Argument #2...

With The Owner Of The Barn Pointing Tony And Virginia In The Direction Of The Judge Who Bought The Mirror, He Basically Tells Them Finders Keepers Losers Weepers And Says If They Continue Talking About It He'll Kick Them Out Of The Village...

With Wolf Arriving, Virginia Wonders What Happened To The Rabbit Only For Wolf To Say That He Hopped Away Despite Us Knowing That He Probably Ate Him...

Flirting With Sally Peep Again, Virginia Takes Wolf Back To The Barn When He Gets Into Trouble While Tony Sticks Around To Have A Couple More Drinks...

But Eventually Leaving The Bar, Tony Ends Up At The Peep's Barn Where He Discovers That The Peep's Stole The Magic Waters Of The Wishing Well That The Village Idiot Guards And Uses It To Enhance Everything They Have...

What Do I Mean By That? I Mean, Every Sheep They Own And Every Food They Make Is Made Better When They Dump It In The Waters Of The Well...

Returning To The Barn With Virginia We Go Into Pointless Fight #3 Only For Wolf To Again Feel Guilty Afterwards As He's Contacted By The Evil Queen...

Telling Her That He's Not Going To Tell Her Anything About "Her" It Has The Evil Queen Questioning What She's Like Only For Wolf To Tell Her To Stay Away From Him As He Again Breaks The Connection As He Goes Running Off...

The Next Morning, Tony Arrives With A Sheep To Dump Down The Peep's Well In Secret As He Plans To Have Virginia Become A Contestant In The Sheep And Shepherdess Competition Despite The Fact She Knows Crap About Sheep...

But Knowing It's The Only Way To Get The Mirror Back Virginia Goes To Work On Her Costume Only To Run Into Wolf, Who Looks Like Shit After Last Night...

But Knowing He Can't Fight His Nature He Asks Virginia To Tie Him Up As Tight As Possible, Moving Into Pointless Argument #4 Which Leads To The Wolf In Wolf Starting To Take Over...

Now, If That Actually Happened That Would Be Awesome But Still Can't Argue With The Effects We Got..

Signing Up For The Sheep And Shepherdess Competition, Despite Threats From Sally Peep The Contest Starts With Each Shepherdess Performing A Sheep Shearing Song

With The First Contestant Performing Baa Baa Black Sheep And Sally Performing A Provocative Little Bo Peep Rendition While Virginia Goes To Get Her Sheep From Tony Who Has No Clue What Sheep Shearing Song To Sing, Leading Us To One Of The Funniest Scenes In This Part Of This Miniseries..,

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(Start At 1:13)

Basically Throwing It Out Of The BallField, The Judge Decides To Give Both Sally Peep And Virginia First Place...

But With Both Sally And The Peep Family Not Willing To Accept A Tie, The Judge Deciding To Set Up An Obstacle Course And Whoever's Sheep Gets To The Finish Line The Quickest With The Help Of A Sheepdog Wins...

With Tony Wondering Where The Hell They're Going To Get A Sheepdog From, The Village Idiot Suggests Using The Golden Wendell Which Tony Believes Is Crazy, So Crazy That It Just Might Work!

Taking Wendell To The Peep's Magic Well In Secret, He Dumps Him In And Prince Is Alive Again!

Calling Tony An Idiot In Every Form Of The Word, Tony Fills Him In On What's Going On And He Arrives Just In Time To Help Virginia Win The Obstacle Course And The Mirror...

Being A Brat About Her Defeat, Sally Goes Out To The Field Only To Be Murdered By An Unknown Person, But Wolf At The Scene, The Townspeople Accuse Him Of The Murder...

Contacting The Troll King The Same Way She Did At The Prison, He Tells The Queen That The Next Time He Sees Her She's Dead Despite Her Warning Him That He Will Be Overrun If He Doesn't Stop His Invasion Now, But Tired Of Waiting, He Says He's Taking The Kingdom Now...

Hearing About The Troll King's Invasion And That That Guy's Horse Has Returned Riderless, The Council Decide To Accept Aid From The 1st And 9th Kingdoms Which In Turn Will Cause Wendell To Forgo Any Chance Of Ever Becoming King...

Figuring Out How To Work The Mirror, Virginia Visits Wolf To Tell Him That Her And Tony Are Going Home But When She Starts Crying She Realizes She Has To Help Him So Virginia Agrees To Become His Attorney...

No Offense But With These People, Wolf Would Have Better Luck If Matt Murdock Was His Attorney...

As The Trial Begins, Tony And Wendell Go To Search For Clues, Eventually This Leads Them Back To The Peep's Barn Where They Discover The Well Has Been Destroyed By Sally Who Was There At The Time Of The Murder...

This Leads Them To Find Critical Evidence Which They Need To Show As Soon As Possible And They Better Do It Quick As Wolf Has Just Been Found Guilty By A Hung Jury!

How Do I Know This? Well, The Jury Is Full Of Nothing But Ewes And Rams And When They Go To Pronounce Sentence They Have 2 Sides, 1 Represents Innocent And Another Represents Guilty...

And On The Guilty Side...

There's Food To Lure Them In!

So Yeah, I'd Say It's A Hung Jury To Me!...

So, Yeah It Looks Like What The Gypsy Foresaw Is About To Come True, Luckily Tony And Wendell Show Up To Point The Townspeople To The Real Killer, Who Just So Happens To Be The Matriarch Of The Peep Family, Wilf...

See, Sally Promised To Make Him Pay After Her Loss At The Shepherdess Competition, So She Destroyed The Well Which Pissed Wilf Off To The Point That He Murdered Her...

Asking For Proof, They Show Them Wilf's Coat He Wore Last Night All Covered In Sally's Blood...

As The Townspeople Lynch Wilf, Tony And Virginia Free Wolf And Head Back To The Barn Only To Discover That The Cart They Mirror In Is Gone...

But Before They Leave, They Visit The Village Idiot One Last Time Only To Give Him A Coin Which Leads Him To Discover That The Water Is Back In The Well, Granting His Wish Of Letting Him Become A Complete Idiot...

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Reading Wolf's Self Help Books While Travelling On Our Heroes Are Unbeknownstly Followed By The Huntsman Who's Healing A Sprained Leg After His Fight With Wolf...

Hasn't The Evil Queen Ever Heard Of Sick Leave?

Arriving In The Most Magical Place In All Of The 9 Kingdoms, The Kissing Town Where Everyone Falls In Love....

(Singing) Yes, Love....Exciting And New...Come To Town....We're Expecting You....

The Love Town!...Cupid Is Definitely Here Somewhere...The Love Town...

All Right, Enough Of That...

Anyway, After Arriving They Find The Carriage From The Village Of The Lambs Only To Discover The Mirror Isn't There And With The Driver Not Knowing It Was Theirs He Gave It To A Guy For 5 Copper Coins...

We Get A Little Backstory On Tony As He Ends Up Finding The Mirror (Along With The Golden Remains Of The Troll King's Children) But Anyway, Turns Out The Mirror Is Going For 10 Or 15 Gold Coins...

But As Tony Goes To Get Virginia And Wolf, We Find Them At Snow White's Coffin, Which Has Become A Tourist Attraction For The Town...

All Throughout This Part And Part 2 We've Had Hints About A Possible Romance Between Wolf And Virginia And This All But Nearly Confirms That They'll Be Together By The Time This Is Over As They Nearly Kiss Only To Be Interrupted By Tony...

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But When They Discover That The Mirror Has Gone Up In Price (Thanks To The Huntsman) From 10 To 15 Gold Coins To 5,000 Gold Wendells

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With Our Heroes Worried That They'll Never Raise That, Part 3 Ends On That Very Cliffhanger...

To Be Continued....

#the 10th kingdom #kimberly williams paisley #scott cohen #john larroquette #dianne wiest #rutger hauer #ann margret #camryn manheim #wolf x virginia

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maneatsbooks · 4 years ago

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TOP 10 EASY-READING TO HELP YOU THROUGH THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC

Covid-19 has been a grim daily grind through statistics and curves (flattened or not) and light relief has been scant. Even television seems grittier nowadays.

So, my reading list needs one or two little light aperitifs to lift the mood – books so slight and effervescent they linger only as long as their tipsy mood lightens your heart – a panacea for the dearth of mirth these days. Here’s my Top 10:

1: THE DUD AVOCADO by Elaine Dundy

Sally Jay Gorce is a woman with a mission. It’s the 1950’s, she’s young, and she’s in Paris. Having dyed her hair pink and vowed to go native in a way not even the natives can manage, she’s busy getting drunk, bedding men, losing jewellery and living life to the full.

‘Here was all the gaiety and glory and sparkle I knew was going to be life if I could just grasp it.’

A wonderful cocktail of a book, as light and airy as a champagne bubble.

2: RIGHT HO, JEEVES by PG Wodehouse

If the world is not quite the shade of peachy keen you would like and you’re feeling a bit ooja-cum-spiff, manservant Jeeves has the perfect pick me up to restore your mettle. You could start with almost any Jeeves and Wooster novel, but this one contains some of the juiciest Woosterisms:

‘I don’t want to wrong anybody, so I won’t go so far as to say that she actually wrote poetry, but her conversation, to my mind, was of a nature to excite the liveliest of suspicions.’

3: LEONARD AND HUNGRY PAUL by Ronan Hession

Like a Buster Keaton version of Waiting for Godot, this wonderful novel in which practically nothing happens has been one of my favourite reads of 2020. Best friends Leonard and Hungry Paul are two zen-like 30-somethings swimming with the indifferent tides of their lives.

Gently humous and genuinely affecting, this book is perfect to help understand the importance of human moments amid the clamour of modernity.

4: COLD COMFORT FARM by Stella Gibbons

Young, modern Flora Poste is sent to live with her remote country cousins, the Stakadders, in remote Sussex – Judith, her preacher husband Amos, their sons Seth and Reuben, several cousins and the redoubtable Aunt Ada Doom.

Miss Poste imposes her life-affirming no-nonsense ‘higher common sense’ in an attempt to redeem the lives of her relatives to wonderfully humorous effect. Will Flora be able to over come Aunt Doom’s fear of ‘something nasty in the woodshed’?

5: ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY by David Sedaris

A collection of essays by the inimitable American humourist, David Sedaris, including the title story where he hilariously attempts to learn French.

“On my fifth trip to France I limited myself to the words and phrases that people actually use.

From the dog owners I learned ‘lie down,’ ‘shut up,’ and ‘who shit on this carpet?’

The couple across the road taught me to ask questions correctly, and the grocer taught me to count.

Things began to come together, and I went from speaking like an evil baby to speaking like a hillbilly.

“Is thems the thoughts of cows?” I’d ask the butcher, pointing to the calves’ brains displayed in the windows. “I want some lamb chops with handles on ‘em’.

6: GOOD OMENS by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

How we all miss Sir Terry and his askew view of the universe. Whilst I was never a huge fan of the Discworld novels, this novel is an artform in itself. As co-author Neil Gaiman states, Terry is an early riser, and Neil a night-owl, so this story was written in the few hours each day when they were both awake.

The ultimate nature-versus-nurture story in which the antichrist is born in a perfect English village and an angel and a demon, both of whom have grown very fond of humanity over the last 4,000 years, must team up to stop the apocalypse.

7: I FEEL BAD ABOUT MY NECK by Nora Ephron

Journalist, writer and filmmaker, Nora Ephron had funny bones. Writer of Silkwood, Heartburn, When Harry met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle, here she turns her gimlet eye on her own aging process with a wicked sense of fun.

“Here are some questions I am constantly noodling over: Do you splurge or do you hoard? Do you live every day as if it’s your last, or do you save your money on the chance you’ll live twenty more years? Is life too short, or is it too long?

Do you work as hard as you can, or do you slow down to smell the roses? And where to carbohydrates fit into all this?

Are we really all going to spend out last years avoiding bread, especially now that bread in America is so unbelievably delicious?

And what about chocolate?”

8: THE MEANING OF LIFF by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd

“In Life,” wrote Douglas Adams, “there are many hundreds of common experiences, feelings, situations and even objects which we all know and recognise, but for which no word exists. On the other hand, the world is littered with thousands of spare works which spend their time doing nothing but loafing about on signposts pointing at places. Our job, as we see it, is to get these words down off the signposts and into the mouths of babes..”

Thusly:

Blithbury n.: A look someone gives you which indicates that they’re much too drunk to have understood anything you’ve said to them in the last twenty minutes.

Ahenny adj.: The way people stand when examining other people’s bookshelves.

Listowel n.: The small mat on the bar designed to be more absorbent than the bar, but not as absorbent as your elbows.

9: DEATH AND THE PENGUIN by Andrei Kurkov

Viktor Zolotaryov is a frustrated writer whose short stories are too short and dull. When a newspaper edito offers him a job as an obituarist, he agrees. His brief is to select high-profile Ukranian people and prepare obituaries in readiness for the possibility they might die. And then the do.

Viktor’s strange new career is watched with melancholic disapproval by his pet penguin, Misha, adopted a few month earlier form the impoverished city zoo.

A sourly absurdist fable, Andrei Kurkov has written a black comedy of post-Soviet chaos where ambulance drivers must be bribed to bring you to hospital (U.S dollars for preference) and everything is for sale – including a child’s heart for penguin heart surgery.

10: ALL MY FRIENDS ARE SUPERHEROES by Andrew Kaufman

All of Tom’s friends are superheroes, and he’s about to be married to one: the Perfectionist. But on the day of their wedding, the Perfectionist’s ex-boyfriend, Hypno, hypnotises her by making her believe that Tom is invisible. Now the Perfectionist, boarding a flight to Vancouver and thining Tom left her, is moving away for good. And Tom has until the plane lands to make her see him again.

Told in flashback and ending Richard Curtis-style at the airport AMFAS is a beautifully quirky story of rediscovery.

#bibliophile #booklr #book blog #top 10 list #covid19 #lockdown reading

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meidestiny-blog · 4 years ago

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Sujata Village is much as Siddhartha would seen it

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maneatsbooks · 4 years ago

Text

Top 10: Literary Pandemic Vaccines

The pandemic has been a grim daily grind through statistics and curves (flattened or not) and light relief has been scant. Even television seems grittier nowadays.

So, my reading list needs one or two little light aperitifs to lift the mood – books so slight and effervescent linger as long as their tipsy mood lightens your heart – a panacea for the dearth of mirth these days. Here’s my Top 10:

1: THE DUD AVOCADO by Elaine Dundy

‘Here was all the gaiety and glory and sparkle I knew was going to be life if I could just grasp it.’

A wonderful cocktail of a book, as light and airy as a champagne bubble.

2: RIGHT HO, JEEVES by PG Wodehouse

‘I don’t want to wrong anybody, so I won’t go so far as to say that she actually wrote poetry, but her conversation, to my mind, was of a nature to excite the liveliest of suspicions.’

3: LEONARD AND HUNGRY PAUL by Ronan Hession

Gently humous and genuinely affecting, this book is perfect to help understand the importance of human moments amid the clamour of modernity.

4: COLD COMFORT FARM by Stella Gibbons

5: ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY by David Sedaris

A collection of essays by the inimitable American humourist, David Sedaris, including the title story where he hilariously attempts to learn French.

“On my fifth trip to France I limited myself to the words and phrases that people actually use.

From the dog owners I learned ‘lie down,’ ‘shut up,’ and ‘who shit on this carpet?’

The couple across the road taught me to ask questions correctly, and the grocer taught me to count.

Things began to come together, and I went from speaking like an evil baby to speaking like a hillbilly.

“Is thems the thoughts of cows?” I’d ask the butcher, pointing to the calves’ brains displayed in the windows. “I want some lamb chops with handles on ‘em’.

6: GOOD OMENS by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

7: I FEEL BAD ABOUT MY NECK by Nora Ephron

Do you work as hard as you can, or do you slow down to smell the roses? And where to carbohydrates fit into all this?

Are we really all going to spend out last years avoiding bread, especially now that bread in America is so unbelievably delicious?

And what about chocolate?”

8: THE MEANING OF LIFF by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd

Thusly:

Blithbury n.: A look someone gives you which indicates that they’re much too drunk to have understood anything you’ve said to them in the last twenty minutes.

Ahenny adj.: The way people stand when examining other people’s bookshelves.

Listowel n.: The small mat on the bar designed to be more absorbent than the bar, but not as absorbent as your elbows.

9: DEATH AND THE PENGUIN by Andrei Kurkov

Viktor’s strange new career is watched with melancholic disapproval by his pet penguin, Misha, adopted a few month earlier form the impoverished city zoo.

10: ALL MY FRIENDS ARE SUPERHEROES by Andrew Kaufman

Told in flashback and ending Richard Curtis-style at the airport AMFAS is a beautifully quirky story of rediscovery.

#bibliophile #bookstagram #book blog #top 10 list

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