#and thats gonna be a song that makes me think about enji and toya now whoops :'(

[hosticaaa]

Handling  it ?  Did  that  mean  he  didn't  want  to  be  apart  from  mom ?  Was  it  her  idea ?  Did  she  finally  stand  up ?  She'd  been  doing  some  of  that  lately,  it  was  pretty  cool  of  her  so  he  supposed  that  made  sense.  If  he  didn't  wanna  be  with  her,  he  could've  just  divorced  her  and  moved  on  while  she  was  in  hospital.  He  had  plenty  of  years  to  do  that,  right ?  Not  that  he,  and  he  was  sure  his  siblings,  too,  wouldn't  hate  him  for  it  if  that  happened. 

Still,  it  felt  like  a  bummer  that  even  after  all  these  years,  all  this  patience,  and  how  far  they'd  all  come,  things  could  never  be  normal  again.  Then  again,  he  guessed  he  didn't  know  anything  about  his  parent's  relationship  or  what  really  went  on  in  their  heads.  He  always  thought  if  he'd  become  the  son  they  wanted,  he  could  have  fixed  everything,  that  it  was  all  his  fault  that  things  had  gotten  so  warped. 

Sometimes,  he  still  thought  things  would've  been  different  if  he  could  have  been  what  they  wanted.  Guess  him  and  his  dad  were  just  stuck  in  some  kind  of  endless  loop  of  never  really  getting  what  they  wanted  or  being  what  they  wanted  to  be.  And  that  was  the  real  problem,  wasn't  it ?  His  dad  was  as  broken  as  he  was.  He  thought  having  a  kid  would  fix  it.  Instead,  he  just  broke  the  kid,  too.  ❝ Oh,  re-eelly ? ❞  He  croaked,  trying  to  keep  the  mood  from  going  bitter  despite  his  recent  thoughts.  ❝ Ha-ah,  I  hope  I  get  to  see  it  ag-aain  one  day;  guess  it'll  be  completely  different  from  how  I  remember  i-it. ❞  he  mused. 

The  truth  was,  his  house  was  one  of  the  things  about  his  childhood  he  remembered  quite  well.  He  dreamt  about  it  all  the  time.  In  his  dreams,  no  matter  where  he  was,  how  old  he  was,  what  was  happening,  who  was  there,  someway,  somehow  his childhood home was  often  there.  Speaking  of  memories,  he  huffed  a  little.  ❝ Thats  n-iice  of  them...  I'm  glad  they're...  Good...And  ki-ind  like  that,  y'know ? ❞

Enji remained quiet when it seemed Touya was thinking about something. Given what they had been talking about, he had a few questions about what his son was thinking about. But what he ended up saying took him a little by surprise. Fuyumi tended to be the one to check in on him with Shoto doing it every now and then. But even they never really asked him if he was enjoying it. If he was doing better now that he and Rei were separated. Maybe it was because they could see the change more easily but he sort of wished they had asked. Then he wouldn’t be sitting there trying to form the words.

“I’m…Handling it…” He didn’t know if he could say he was enjoying it. He was still dealing with the fact that it was because of him that their family was still a bit broken. In the grand scheme of things, he did feel a bit better since he and Rei separated. There wasn’t the weight of him making things worse or going home to a house with a curtain of gloom hanging over it. Enji did find he missed the early days of their marriage though. When the two of them were still trying to figure out how their relationship would work and the trials of taking a baby along with Rei being pregnant once again. “I’ve been slowly redecorating the estate so that has been helping…” His therapist thought it would help and Fuyumi had been more than willing to help him. 

He frowned a little at that comment. Of course, he knew that it was there for safety precautions but he also thought there could be some exceptions made. Regardless he would talk with the warden and see if something could be done. Enji was concerned that it may be bothering the bandages and surely the warden would understand that. Getting another treat for Touya, he smiled when Touya mentioned them being good. “I’m sure she will be glad to hear that when she comes to see you. She did try to make things she remembered you enjoying. I believe Natsuo also tried to buy things he remembered you liking.”