#and that's why i'm not writing or reading anything

[cat-got-your-tongue]

too sweet for me

Dp&W!Logan howlett x fem!reader

Summary: You've not been feeling like yourself, and you take it out on logan until one day he decides he can't take it anymore.

Warnings: established relationship | spanking | mention of safe word | dom/sub undertones | fingering | maturbation (male) | facials | so sorry if I left anything out. If you tell me I'll fix it.

Word count: 4.2k

Authors note: I'm still trying to get into the swing of writing. I hope you enjoy. Not proofread. My requests are open. Pictures used are not mine found on Pinterest. Divider by @saradika-graphics

My work will always be 18+ Minors do not interact.

You had been in a foul mood all day, no better yet all week. Any little thing Logan did got under your skin. He used your shampoo, and suddenly, you were slinging the bottle across the bathroom. He made your coffee, and you snatched it away from him. He said good morning, and you responded with a roll of your eyes and a "good morning" under your breath. It seemed like all you wanted to do was pick a fight. And your attitude was aimed solely at him.

Logan noticed how relaxed and sweet you were with Wade. He watched as you laughed, and it he wouldn't lie it stung him a bit. You seemed to enjoy that annoying fucks company more than his. Logan had been trying so hard to get back into your good graces for the past couple of days now. When he spoke to you, he made sure his tone of voice was soft. He didn't want to trigger whatever animosity you had for him.

He didn't like feeling as if he were walking on eggshells around you. But he didn't know what to do - or what he did for you to act this way. The only thing he knows is that when you got this way, he hated it. Logan had a hard time controlling his temper, and you certainly knew how to test his patience. So much so that he had to leave the apartment you two live in and spend the night at Wades place.

Today, he had enough.

Logan had been trying to put your bookshelf together today. One you picked out at ikea, and he made a comment on building you a better one that would last much longer. You were hell bent on this particular shelf that could fit right in the corner of your living room. You bugged him all week to do it. But he had been busy working, and then by the time he came home, he was exhausted.

"Baby, can ya' grab me a beer while i do this?" He spoke up as he looked over the instructions. His eyes trained on the visual image on the flimsy piece of paper. His vision straining a bit.

"No," you snapped when logan asked you to get him a beer from the fridge. "Get it yourself. I'm not your maid."

Logan sighed and took a deep breath. He didn't want to snap at you, but you made it really fucking hard not to. "Fine."

He got up, tossing the instructions down and going over to the fridge. You were standing there as his shoulder brushed yours, and his hard gaze fell on you. You shrunk down a bit and went back to sit down at the table. You didn't know why you were being an asshole. You wish you weren't this way. You always seemed to get agitated with the people who never deserved it.

"Wanna tell me what crawled up your ass?"Logan popped his beer open and took a long swig. "I'm trying not to react but it's really hard dealing with your bitchy attitude all week and I've been trying my fuckin' best to please ya."

Logan regretted those words the moment they left his mouth. Your nonchalant reaction to them only pissed him off more.

You didn't respond. You only shrugged your shoulders and went back to reading your book at the table. You couldn't tell him what was wrong, because you had no idea either. He didn't do anything. You were just not in a good mood, and unfortunately, logan was taking the blunt of it. You know his feelings were probably hurt. Especially after seeing you so upbeat and happy when Wade was around.

Logan took another sip of his beer and slammed the bottle down on the table right next to you, causing you to jump a little. He leaned over the back of the chair. his lips ghosting your ear. You could smell the alcohol on his breath, and you didn't need to see his face to know he's mad. You've pushed him too far. He had been patient, and you kept pushing. You kept snapping and being mouthy.

"Go in the bedroom and get undressed." His voice is low and dangerous in your ear.

"But" you tried to argue back, knowing what he wanted to do.

"Don't." His voice was soft again. "No buts I've had about enough of your fuckin' attitude. Go in the bedroom, get undressed, and I'll meet ya' in there."

You turned to look up at him from your seat. Your eyes pleaded for him to change his mind. Yet you knew you deserved it. Everything you've done and said led up to this moment.

"Now." He commanded and picked up his beer and finished it off.

You quickly rose to your feet and carefully got up, trying not to look up at him. He could be intimidating when he's angry. He'd never actually hurt you. You and logan had this agreement since you began dating. Punishments were a pretty normal thing. Logan hated giving them just and much as you hated getting them. (Well, you and him didn't hate them all the time) they did help you, and he knew that. All of the times, when you were overwhelmed with emotions and didn't know how to handle them — this was an outlet for you to let it all out. You would ask for a punishment. Logan always gave you what you wanted and pampered you when it was all done.

You went into your shared room and stripped down until you were completely naked. You sat on the edge of the bed, hanging your head. Hoping logan would take some pity on you. The room was dark, save for the sunset peaking through your curtains.

Logan sat down at the chair you were in before leaving. He tried to collect himself before joining you. He really just wanted you to talk to him. He wanted to understand you. Understand what he did wrong. Understand why you seemed so angry, but he remembered your eyes. You looked so sad and unsure of yourself. All he wanted to do was scoop you up in his arms and protect you from your feelings. He knows doing this will help clear your mind.

He sat there for a couple more minutes, letting you anticipate what was coming, but also trying to calm himself.

Finally, logan walked into the room and saw you at the edge of the bed. You looked defeated. His eyes softened slightly, but he knew he had to go through with this. If you didn't want the punishment, you would use your safeword. You've used it many times before. Since you didn't say anything and you complied to strip off your clothes. He sensed you wanted this punishment if it made you nervous.

"Look at me, baby." He walked to stand above you. His finger lifted your chin up. Your eyes met his. You made it so hard for him to stay mad at you.

You were just so sweet even if you were a fucking pain in the ass to handle. Too sweet for someone like him sometimes.

You looked up at him, his touch was gentle on your face. His hazel eyes weren't boring into yours. He seemed remorseful for what he was about to do. He knew he had to. He couldn't let you continue being so rude and disrespectful towards him. He also knew you needed this. Your body language told him everything.

Logan let go of your chin and took off his white tank top, throwing it across the room. Your eyes ran up and down his body. Your thighs squeezed together. You could feel your arousal already pooling between your legs.

He ran a hand through his hair. "How do ya' want it, hand or belt?"

You hesitated to answer at first.

"Uhmm, your hand." Your voice was quiet.

Logan smirked, noting how quickly your little attitude was already changing. "Alright, it'll be my hand, and we'll do ten spanks. Sound good?"

You nodded and bit down on your bottom lip.

"Use your words, baby." Logan got closer, invading your space. He placed his hands on either side of your hips, his grip firm, but still gentle. He could feel his cock already beginning to strain against the cold metal of his zipper.

"Sounds good." You spoke again quietly.

"Okay." He leaned down and gave the corner of your mouth a quick kiss. "Get up and lay over my lap. You remember what to say if you want this to stop. Yeah?"

"I say red." You jump down off the bed. Logan reluctantly releases your hips but moves back slightly to give you some space.

He sat down in the same spot you were sitting in. You stood there in front of him, your body bare for him. He took you all in and licked his lips. If you weren't being such a brat he'd fuck you instead. God, the things he'd do to you right now. He had to fight those urges. Those primal urges to pull you in his lap and drive his cock deep in your weeping cunt.

You wanted to apologize. You knew it was too little too late for that. No amount of apologizing would help you now. The thought of logan spanking you sent waves of arousal and fear through your body.

"Good girl." Logan praised. His deep, husky voice made your clit pulsate. He reached out, yanking you by the waist, and threw you over his lap.

You gasped as you were now laying across his thighs. His belt buckle digging into your side. Your feet dangling over the floor as you tried not to fall off him. He probably would like that, though. Seeing you fall and watching you get embarrassed.

"Lo, are you mad at me?" You turned to glance up at him over your shoulder.

His quirked an eyebrow up at you. "Mad? Don't ya' think it's a little too late to be askin' me that?" He sighed. "Yeah, I'm mad, but we'll discuss all of that later. Right now, I want ya' to count every spank I give your ass. Okay?"

You turned your head and looked down. You tried to keep your focus on a spot on the floor. It usually helped you deal with the pain and slight humiliation would feel. "Okay."

Logan rubbed his hand over the plush skin of your bottom. You heard him hum as you laid over his lap. Your ass reminded him of a ripe peach he wanted to sink his teeth into. Juicy, firm, soft all the things he liked.

"I hate doin' this. Punishing ya'. I'd much rather be balls deep inside ya' but you just had to hurt my feelings." Logan spoke from behind you. He wasn't really speaking to you rather than at you. He didn't care for your response or sorrys.

"Lo...I- I don't mean to." Your voice broke and your eyes blurred with tears.

You never thought how you were acting would actually hurt his feelings. Logan's never been good at expressing that before. Maybe your sudden mood swings were starting to really affect him. Even if it was your way of asking to be punished — or you were just not feeling like yourself and the sudden wave of sadness made you lash out.

Regardless, it wasn't fair to logan. You see that now. You always saw him as this invincible man where nothing could hurt him. Not even harsh words and the silent treatment. You were wrong. So very wrong.

"Start counting." He interrupted you. His hand, going back to connect with your ass with a harsh slap.

You whimpered, and tears fell from your eyes. "O-ne."

Logan rubbed over the spot he just spanked. You were already crying, and he's barely gotten started. He didn't give you much time to collect yourself before his hand was reconnecting in hard slap to your ass. He watches as the skin ripples from the impact. His cock growing harder watching your ass jiggle as you took your punishment. He had to bit his tongue and not make a comment on it, know how you'd you get embarrassed. Even if he'd love seeing you get that way.

"T-two." You cried out. Your tears falling down your cheeks and onto the floor beneath you, creating small salty puddles.

Logan's hand reeled back again, spanking you over and over. He didn't slow down or go easy on you. Every swat felt like your ass all the way down to your thighs would go numb from the pain. You were a sobbing mess as you struggled to even count for him.

"Shh, shh baby, we're almost done." He soothed you and kissed your temple. "You're doing so good."

Your mind was in a haze now. You couldn't remember being upset. The only thing on your mind was logan and the stinging pain he was inflicting to your ass. His rough hands groping at your skin before delivering another harsh blow.

You could feel your juices running down your legs. You hoped logan wouldn't notice how turned on you also were getting. The more you cried and got it all out, the better you felt. As weird as it probably sounded to some. This made you feel at ease once it was all said and done.

Logan noticed you go silent. The only sound coming from your lips were soft cries.

"Do ya' know what number we're at now?" He rubbed down your back, avoiding your ass for now.

You shook your head. "N-no."

"We're at eight. almost done." Logan reassured, his hand slowly inching down your back and resting on the curve of your sore cheeks.

You took a few steady deep breaths. In and out. In and out. Repeating the action over and over again.

Logan observed the way you were trying to pull yourself together. He gave you a small smile before continuing on. He gave your ass a light little tap, signaling you he was about to start again. You braced yourself as your body hung over his lap. Your toes danced across the floor while you desperately tried to keep yourself perfectly balanced.

"Nine." You yelped a little louder. His hand came down again. The sounds that were made each time his palm connected to your skin sent a shiver down your spine.

"....t-ten." Your voice was raspy, barely even above a whisper as you counted the final blow.

"There we go, baby. We're done. We're all done." Logan went right back into soothing you. He looked down towards your ass watching your body trembling. "You're so strong, ya' know that? So good."

You tried to catch your breath as you choked back another sob. Your face was tear stained, and your makeup ruined.

Logan rubbed up and down the back of your thighs as well. His hand sneaking in between them. He bit his lip as he noticed how wet you got during your punishment. Your inner thighs sticky with your slick. He ran a finger along your wet slit, teasing you. Your nails dig into his strong thighs.

"Mmm, you feel so soft." He purred above you.

Your pussy was drenched with your juices. Your body was still shaking from your punishment. Your ass felt like it was on fire. Logan moved his middle finger up and down along your slit before taking his middle and index finger to spread open your sensitive lips. You turned your head to watch as logan admired your sex dripping for him. He loved the way it glistened. He watched as your walls clenched around nothing, practically begging him to fill you up.

All that attitude, sadness, and feelings of self-doubt of yours were fading away.

"Logan, please," you begged him. Your voice, still raspy. He did a double take at your disheveled appearance. Your eyes bloodshot with your mascara running, smudging your under eyes.

Logan felt so bad for making you cry like that. He felt even worse for not taking it easy on you when he was spanking you. Even if it helped you get over whatever it was you that bothered you. But he couldn't deny how hard it made him as well.

He didn't respond as he spread your lips further apart, letting the cold air of your bedroom hit your entrance. Your face heating up while logan fully exposes you. Your clit throbbing as it goes ignored. He takes his thumb and rubs the outer part of your opening, getting it nice and ready. You moan, and logan doesn't stop looking at you.

"Ya' have the tightest little pussy." He commented, feeling how your entrance wants to take in his thumb, but he doesn't push it in. Not yet.

Instead, he pulls it away, and you whine; a small pout forming on your face. You began squirming over his lap, his erection pressing right against your stomach. You can see just how feral he wants to be become. His pupils blown completely until out, you can't see the color anymore. His nostrils flared while smelling your arousal all in the room.

"This is how it's gonna be. I'll let ya' cum on my fingers. That's all ya' get tonight. Jus' my fingers. You don't deserve my dick. " His tone was strong and commanding as he told you how the rest of the night was going to go.

That's when you knew your punishment didn't just stop once the spanking was over with.

"Will you still help me get cleaned up afterward?" You felt a little disappointed and on the verge of crying again when he rejected you. Logan usually always fucked you after your punishment. This time it was so different.

"Baby, I'm always gonna take of ya." Logan reassured. Which almost made you feel better.

He finally slipped a finger inside you. Your walls instinctively squeeze around his thick digit. You cried out in pleasure as you squirmed more. The pad of his finger slowly rubbing and pressing firmly on that spongey spot on your walls. You arched your back and dug your nails into his skin through his jeans.

"Hmmphf.... more lo— I need more." You begged.

Your head felt dizzy from all the sensations you felt. Your ass was still in so much pain but logans attention to your pussy kept your mind off it. Normally, he would tease you longer. Make you beg until you were a complete wreck. He couldn't bring himself to do that tonight. He felt guilty for spanking you the way he did. But still wasn't going to give you his cock.

Logan gently pushed another finger inside you. You bit your lip to stifle a moan as he began pumping them in and out of you slowly. You felt his cock twitch in his jeans under you. His fingers knuckle deep in your cunt as he trusted them inside you. He curled them up and made sure to pay close attention to your g-spot, pressing on it and massaging it. Your walls clenching up and your toes curling.

"You okay, baby? Logan checked in, but his fingers didn’t slow.

"Y-yes...m'okay keeping going" You stammered out, as you tried to keep focus.

He chuckled and picked up the pace. His fingers were making your pussy create the most vulgar wet sounds you've ever heard. Your slick soaking his hand as he fucked you. Your legs shook and he took his other hand to rub tight circles over your clit. You could feel your orgasm building up. That coil in your lower belly tightening as logan fingered you hard and deep.

"F-fu- logan, I can't hold it." You warned him. Your moans were getting louder and more desperate.

"Aaah! god! I'm gonna-" You mewled while your cunt was being spread open. His long, thick fingers working in and out of you.

That only spurred him on until you were cuming all over his hands. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you hold onto his thighs for dear life.

Logan didn't stop. His fingers still moved in and out of you while his other hand payed attention to your throbbing clit. He milked your pussy as you rode out your release. He finally slowed down and stilled his hands. Carefully, he removed his fingers with a loud shlick. A string of your juices still connecting to them. He brought them up to his lips, sticking them in his mouth.

Logan hummed at the taste of you. "You're so sweet. " You wanted to hide your face. Your eyes glossy from your orgasm.

"Come on, on your knees." He patted your ass gently. You didn't move at first. Your body was too weak, and your mind was still too cloudy think.

He noticed your hesitation and figured out why. He placed his hands on your waist and moved you gently to the floor to sit back on your knees.

"Jus' because I'm not sticking my dick in you tonight doesn't mean I can't get off, too." He grunted and unbuckled his belt.

Logan unzipped his pants and his cock sprung free almost smacking you in the face. The head of his cock leaking precum. You lick your lips and immediately try to taste him. He grabbed your jaw firm but not enough to hurt you.

"Ah ah, and what do you think you're doing?" He smirked, taking his cock in his hand.

"I thought you'd want me to use my mouth." You looked up at him, confusion written all over your face.

"Ya' don't get to blow me either. Ya' get to watch me jerk myself off and cum all over that pretty face of yours." Logan let go of your jaw and stood up straight. His form towering over yours as you kneeled in front of him.

"Oh." You wiped your eyes. You felt rejected yet again, but honestly, you understand why. You were a bitch to him for the past week. It was only fair and definitely part of the punishment.

"If you're good. I might let you ride me tomorrow mornin'." He looked down at you, giving you a small smile. You know him telling you no was just as difficult.

Logans abs flexed as his hand slowly started stroking his cock. His thumb pushing down on his tip, smearing in his precum. He let out a loud hiss and groaned. You watched from your position. You shift in your spot as you feel yourself getting wetter. Logan was taking his time. He was making a show of it – wanting you to see what you're missing. His body glistened with sweat. His mouth parted as he muttered "fuck" under his breath.

His hand moved up and down, pumping himself above you. Your eyes were in awe at how beautiful he was. You watched how his abs flexed and his Adam's apple danced. You wanted to reach out and help him. You wanted to apologize with your mouth full of his cock. He wasn't going to let you do any of that.

"Ahh, goddammit. If you weren't such a brat, I'd have ya' split open right now." He grunted again. "Make ya call me sir with my dick in the back of your throat."

"You still can." You reminded him.

He laughed. "Nice try, but no. Only good girls get my dick. Ya' haven't been good."

You frowned and kept your hands in your lap. Your juices were dripping down your legs and little to the floor. You've never been more frustrated and turned on in your life. You watched logan stroking himself. His eyes half lidded, and his muscles flexed with every movement. His pace quickened and you could tell he was about to cum. He cupped his balls with his other hand, making his knees buckle slighlty. Your clit ached at the sight before you.

"Goddamn," he whispered to himself while his hand moved at a faster pace. "See what ya' do to me? How hard ya' make me?"

You watched in awe as your pussy ached more for him. You were on the verge of pouting but remembered what he told you. "Ya can ride me in the mornin" his words echoed in your ear. That promise was enough to keep you at bay and kneeling down before him like a good girl. His good girl. That's what you wanted to be again.

His chest was rising and falling faster. Logan gave himself a few more long strokes, and he was finishing all over your face. He growled harshly and ropes of cum shot out onto your mouth and chin. He was careful not to get any in your eyes or hair. Logan kept pumping himself, milking every single drop he had left in him. You went to move away, but the hand that was on his balls grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you closer. Your face just millimeters away from his cock and heavy balls. His hand finally stilled.

All you could hear was the sound of his heavy breathing. You waited until he came down from his high. His release had hit him hard, too, just as yours did. Logan had been pent up with so much frustration over these past couple of weeks because of you. You felt his hand letting go of your neck. You went to rub the sore spot where his fingers dug into your skin. He didn't speak to you yet. He was still trying to catch his breath after his release.

Logan dragged his hand down his face and looked you over once more. He gently took you by the upper arms and put you on your feet. Your legs felt wobbly, and the stinging pain on your ass returned. Logans eyes trailed up and down your body, focusing on your face.

You were a mess, cheeks all tear stained. Your makeup smudged and now his cum dripping down your chin. You were a beautiful sight. One logan wanted to admire forever. If he had his phone; he'd make this moment his lockscreen and jerk off to it when you weren't around.

Your tongue inched out to lick some of the cum off your lips. You loved the way he tasted and hated how he wouldn't let you have more. Logan felt his cock twitching again but chose to ignore it. He let out a shuddered breath and shook his head.

"Ya' alright? Was that too much?" He bent down, grabbing his discarded shirt off the floor. Logan carefully wipe off the mess on your face, starting with his cum.

"Not too much." You shook your head. "I'm fine." You tried to fix up your makeup, but it was really no use.

He leaned down and gave your forehead a sweet kiss.

"We need to get some aloe on your ass. It'll help sooth that burning feelin" Logan moved around the room as you stood in your spot. You wrapped your arms around your middle while you watched him hunt for the aloe and put his jeans back on.

Logan noticed how you were hugging around yourself. He cursed under his breath, fixing himself back in his pants. There was something still lingering in the air. He couldn't put his finger on it.

"C'mere baby." He took your arms from around you and pulled you to him in a warm embrace. You buried your face in his chest, taking in his scent. Logan could sense how you needed his comfort more than some lotion right now.

You two stood in eachothers arms for what felt like hours. He finally spoke up, breaking the silence.

"If ya' don't wanna talk about what's been bothering ya' I want pressure. Jus' know I'm all ears once you're ever ready to tell me"

You nodded and closed your eyes, not wanting him to let you go.

"Sometimes I don't know what's wrong." You whispered to him.

"And that's okay." He kissed the top of your head. "Let's take a bath together, and I'll cook ya' dinner."

"Are you gonna finish my bookshelf?" You moved your head away to meet his gentle gaze.

Logan chuckled and playfully swatted your ass. "Yeah, yeah, I'll finish that damn bookshelf."

The rest of your night was spent with you in logans arms after he helped get you all cleaned up. He got our your favorite sweatshirt and made you food. You sat on the couch watching him get frustrated with the instructions to your bookshelf that he had to remind you he could've just made you a better one. Logan did end up finishing it for you and joined you on the couch, pulling you into his lap where you both ended up falling asleep.

[megamindsecretlair]

Make Me Weak, Part 2

Pairing: Sex Therapist!Terry Richmond x Sub!Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Cursing, mentions of depression, anxiety, and description of sex acts and sexual issues. Hair pulling, PIV, condom use. Power imbalance, Shy!reader. Dark!Terry. Dom!Terry, AU Terry, all consensual. Sorry if I missed some. I'm not a therapist and while I do not make light of therapy, this is purely for my own fun. Please seek real medical attention when necessary.

Summary: You followed Dr. Richmond’s instructions to the best of your ability. You spent so much time in your mind that willingly descending into your body was an experience that opened your eyes to how much you had neglected. Your second session forces you to confront more truths than what you were ready for. 

Terry reaches some conclusions of his own as he tries to shake whatever is ailing him by disappearing between Tasia’s thighs. Yet his mind is on you, on your thoughts and words. During the second session, he can’t help but push you beyond your limit.

Word Count: 5,018k

Part 1 | AO3 Link

A/N: I'n back babbyyyy. I got so inspired reading so many lovely fics. Plus the encouraging asks really helped. I had TOO much fun writing this and you will not hurt my feelings if you don't want to read this one. However, I must tag to keep my taglist updated. Forgive me, my loves. Toss a coin to your blogger by leaving a comment, gif, or unhinged ask.

You

Hot steam rolled out from the shower as you set it to your desired temperature. You faced yourself in the mirror, thinking over Dr. Richmond’s words. You supposed that there was some truth to what he had told you.

Most people did start by exploring their own bodies first. It must be so easy for guys. Close the door, grab some lotion, and rub one out. Girls on the other hand…your life was constantly spent in a state of panic.

Panic that anything on your person would make your mother snap. Harsh criticisms hidden behind “just talkin’ shit” that Black people liked to hide behind. You were too sensitive to jokey-joke with when you weren’t able to reciprocate. It’s not like you could talk about your mom. It’s not like you could throw insults back in her face and tell her to take it in stride.

Panic that you could be caught or exposed at any point. You were a grown woman, yes. You were also taught to believe that you needed to act as if someone was watching. You believed there was some kind of life after all this and so wouldn’t it stand to reason that someone or something would be looking at you? Or worse, someone would come flying through your door because your family lacked boundaries? 

Panic that you didn’t know what lay on the other side of an orgasm. How would you feel? How would you look? Surely something like that changed a person. Feeling that rush of relief for the first time had to be special. Had to be amazing. Otherwise, why would anyone ever be obsessed with sex? 

Panic that you’d never reach that peak and fall over. Never feel that rush of euphoria that everyone talked about. Porn, books, friend groups. You always felt left out and you didn’t want to anymore, dammit. 

You watched yourself in the mirror as steam overtook it, inch by inch. Until you were only staring at your eyes and the disbelief written all over your face. Would this even work? Were you wasting your time? 

“I need total, focused commitment from you.”

Dr. Richmond’s sultry voice skittered along your naked skin. Goosebumps raised on your flesh from the cold air moving through the house. You would be focused. You would be committed. This was something you wanted so badly, you were fucking desperate. 

So you took deep, measured breaths using the Box method a previous therapist told you about. You inhaled for a count of four, held for four, exhaled for a count of four, and then held it for four. You repeated the process, doing a full body scan. 

You focused on your head, starting with your scalp. You focused on your forehead, feeling the tension melt away and your eyebrows start to relax. You hadn’t even realized that you had it scrunched.

You brought your attention to your eyes, unfocusing them, and allowed them to close. You repeated the process, breathing the entire time, settling down into your body when your mind wanted so badly to escape. To flee. To leave the Horrors. 

When you felt your mind drift, you didn’t chastise yourself. You continued to breathe, focusing on your breaths until you continued with your scan. Your body relaxed fraction by fraction. Your shoulders lowered from up around your neck. Aches and pains became more prominent. 

Your belly expanded and you sighed. You hadn’t even noticed how often you clenched your stomach, never allowing yourself a full breath. You always had to be on edge. Never knew where the next danger was coming from. What new fresh hell you would encounter just around the corner. 

By the time you reached your feet, you felt more relaxed than you had in a long time. Your body prickled with your newfound awareness. Steam caressed your bareskin and you quickly hopped in the shower, letting the warm water cascade across your body.

The water felt different on your body. Each droplet may as well have been a tiny earthquake, popping all over your skin and making you tingle. This…wasn’t too bad. 

You lathered up your facial scrub and gently moisturized your face, soothing the stiff areas. Your jaw popped as it loosened and you moaned from the relief. 

How long? How long have you spent outside of your body? A stranger to it? A foreigner to this vessel you carried around? Had you truly loved your body when you were so alien to it? Or had you just learned to layer on the armor and pretend? 

God, you felt like crying. With one session, Dr. Richmond already had you re-thinking your entire life. Like the answer was there in your face the entire time and you just needed him to shine a light on it. 

You rinsed your face while you grabbed a washcloth and lathered up with your favorite soap. You added body wash and then took your time trailing the washcloth around your body. Starting with your neck, you worked your way down to your chest. 

You took your time feeling the rough cloth against your smooth, watery skin. You rounded the washcloth across your nipples and they beaded under the slow torture. Oh, this was new. This was very nice. 

You were focused, letting the water act as a sound machine, lulling you into a further relaxed state. You followed the washcloth with your hand, moving over and under your areolas and nipples. You pinched your nipples and gave it a tug. You gasped from the responding tug in your pussy.

You moved on, remembering Dr. Richmond’s words about not making it sexual. But fuck, how could you not? 

Heat flushed beneath your skin that had nothing to do with the hot water on your body. You washed your back and then moved lower, skirting your throbbing pussy and washed your legs and dug the cloth between your toes. 

On the way up, your fingers glided around your mound, your hips pushing forward. Your breathing turned rapid, feeling yourself getting more and more excited. Your brain turned to mush, retreating from your actions. Like it wanted to picture something else. You shook your head, and started up with your Box breathing again.

You stopped mid-shower to reorient yourself and get yourself back into that zone of ultimate calm. If Dr. Richmond were there…

You focused on what he might say. There was no rush. There was no rulebook for this sort of thing. There was no reason to chastise yourself. There was no test to pass or box you had to check in order to achieve an orgasm. You just needed to relax, dammit. 

Slowly, achingly slow, you went back to that calm. You continued lathering up your body and then rinsed the soap off. You repeated the process, adding more soap to thoroughly wash your body. To enjoy the feel of the cloth and water and soap on your skin. On your body. 

“This is the only body you’ll ever have so it’s time to think beyond simple body maintenance. Admire your body.”

This was the only body you would ever have. It was time you stopped treating it like the enemy. 

You turned off the water and then got out. The chill air hit the water on your back and you shrieked and shivered, quickly drying off. You went through your nightly routine, taking care of your teeth, face, and deodorant. You sat down on a decorated stool in your bathroom to apply your lotion.

As instructed, you looked at your body. Every mole, every scar, every bump, and every wayward hair. Being in your body was weird to say the least. You had to disassociate to survive your childhood and you never learned to drop those defenses. Your body never realized that it wasn't at war anymore. Or perhaps it was and this was battle fatigue. You were so damn tired.

You massaged the lotion into your skin and then slipped in your panties. You pulled on an ankle bracelet you got while visiting New York once and it made you feel extra pretty, so why not. You turned on your bedside light and pulled out a notebook.

You started a new entry and wrote about the sensations and revelations you experienced. Some of it you would discuss with Dr. Richmond and some of it was never leaving your grave. It felt good to get it all out, uninterrupted.

Sometimes, venting to someone else just gave them room to talk over you. To steer the direction back to them. Brooklyn was like that. In an effort to relate, she ended up taking over the convo and made it about her situation. Then you ended up comforting her about her issue and never feeling truly heard about yours.

In a journal however, you pretended that you were just relaying it to a friend. The type of friend who allowed you to speak. To get your jumbled thoughts out without getting mad or trying overshadow you. 

Done, you collapsed against your bed as if every ounce of strength left your body. You breathed through it, allowed your body to rest for a moment. The hell kind of voo-doo shit did your therapist put you through?

Immediately, warning bells went off in your mind. Surely, you would be whisked away to some super important task around the house. Surely, your phone would ring with some awful accident you had to attend to. Surely…nothing. You were drained. You had nothing. 

You had just enough energy to put the journal up, turn off the light, and drift off to the deepest sleep of your life.

Terry

Tasia bounced like a porn star on Terry’s dick and it wasn’t doing a damn thing for him. He felt himself getting soft the more Tasia shuddered with her pleasure. At least one of them was having fun. 

Maybe he rushed this. Too intent on getting you out of his mind that he hopped immediately into Tasia’s warm heat and didn’t consider that there was no substitution. He knew it was irrational to be drawn to you so fast. After only one session. He was conflicted on that front, but it went beyond just looks. 

Your case, your assessments, your willingness to try, and your obvious smarts was a cocktail shooting through his veins and turning his body liquid. The perfect sub was dropped into his lap and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

And as a man used to getting his way in the bedroom, it stuck in his craw that he couldn’t have you. That it wasn’t your pussy that his dick disappeared inside of. Would you moan loudly? Were you shy in the bedroom? Were you enthusiastic? 

What would your mouth look like taking the full length of him? How far down could you suck him? Did that same determination translate to the bedroom?

Tasia grunted beneath him as his dick rose back to life, thoughts of you turning him harder than a brick. He could build a house with how hard he was at the moment, picturing the curves on your body. The natural handles in your waist for his big hands to wrap around. To hold.

He moaned, picturing it all so clearly. His thumbs would dig into your back. The sounds you would make. His hips jerked just thinking of pounding into you. No mercy. You weren’t some fragile flower. Your insightful thoughts were like a mirror to his own. He wanted to explore with you. And the fact that he couldn’t had him pulling Tasia’s hair back.

“Call me Dr. Richmond,” he commanded.

“Yes, D-Dr. Richmond,” Tasia moaned. It was starting to piss him off. 

“Softer,” he said.

“Yes, Dr. Richmond,” she said, bringing her voice lower, softer. It was nowhere near your voice, but it’d do for the fantasy he concocted in his head. He didn’t have time for any extra tricks tonight. He just needed to get to the other side of his nut. 

He closed his eyes and thought about your case. He wondered if you were doing as you were told. He wondered how well you would take commands in the bedroom. If he even had to give commands at all. If you’d instinctively know what he needed when he needed it. Tasia used to know that. Tasia used to have him out of breath. 

Now…she was a beautiful girl with deep mocha skin, a cute face, and wide expressive eyes. She was like a little doe in a meadow somewhere. He was attracted to the overall softness of her and of her body. The natural way she seemed to know what he needed. 

Perhaps it was him that had changed. His tastes. He was no longer interested in a casual sub-relationship. Perhaps he wanted a more permanent sub. One he could explore every single nasty fantasy with and never get bored. He was getting older, getting into his early-thirties without a significant partner.

And that was what he wanted. A partner. An equal. Someone he raced home to see or spent his days thinking about how he would break her and put her back together like a puzzle box. 

Terry groaned and came into the condom, gripping Tasia’s asscheeks for dear life. It was one of the hardest climaxes he ever experienced. His release triggered hers, causing her to fall forward as her pussy gripped his dick. 

He pulled out and immediately disposed of the condom, coming back to help clean up Tasia. 

“That was…different,” she said, using the word in place of something else. He didn’t want his reputation to slacken in that regard, but hell, this whole thing had been a mistake. He still made sure she came twice before he did, but he usually put more oomph into his sexual exploits. 

He usually had Tasia popping her pussy on his face, or contorting her like a pretzel. Now…he was just over it. Over trying to impress someone that wasn’t permanent in his life. That he couldn’t play with whenever he wanted. He was no longer excited at the prospect of making many women cum. He just wanted to make one cum over and over again. He wanted to collect each one like trophies. 

Terry grabbed Tasia’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Forgive me. Tonight should’ve probably been a gym night,” he said. He smiled for good measure, but it was a close-lipped smile.

“Oh, I’m not complaining. That dick still know how to rock my world,” she said. She stood up, pulling on her sweats and sweatshirt, and slipping on her sneakers. He sat down on the bed and watched her, not feeling an ounce of desire. 

She leaned over and grabbed his chin, making him look up at her. “You take care of yourself and whatever or whoever got you in this funk. And if you need more relief, you know my number,” she said.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said with another close-lipped smile. Tasia had been one of his longest play partners, he’d be sorry to see her go. She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek, showing herself out. 

Terry sat in his fancy bedroom in his fancy house, staring at the empty archway Tasia disappeared through. His mind and body told him that he was ready for something more. Something tangible. Something he could hold and never let go. He only hoped he found it soon.

You

You clutched your journal to your chest as you sat in Dr. Richmond’s office. Nothing about it had changed except the man himself. He chose to wear a cream colored outfit. A soft, oatmeal colored sweater and khaki pants with white sneakers. His gold rimmed glasses flashed every so often from the light overhead and you couldn’t help catching every single thing about him. If only to distract you from your racing thoughts.

It was one thing to live in your body when you were in the comfort of your own bathroom. Your mind escaped once more, retreated to the safest place you knew. Your knee bounced with nervousness. 

“You don’t have to share if you don’t want to. This is a safe space. It’s your space. You get to decide what we do here,” he said. 

You closed your eyes to the sound of his voice. If he wasn’t so damn helpful, you’d ask for someone else. Literally, anyone else. But he was the first therapist to give you a glimpse of the other side. You wanted that more than you were embarrassed.

“No, I want to share. I need to share,” you said. You licked your lips and then cracked open your journal. You skimmed over things you didn’t want to reveal just yet. Too embarrassing for a second meeting, of course.

“I think…I think my mind is safer. I am constantly on alert that I’m “doing the right thing”, as opposed to what actually makes me happy,” you said. 

When you didn’t say anything, Terry leaned back in his seat. He rolled up his sleeves, revealing the golden brown of his forearms. Your mind emptied of any other thought until he cleared his throat. “Can you expand on that?” 

You looked up into his eyes before heat rushed to your ears. You looked back at your journal, focusing on that rather than his lush, pink lips. 

You told him more about how you reached this conclusion. That there was a standard for being Black that you never quite achieved. That at any moment, multiple mobs of people were coming for your Black card. Or, you were constantly trying to over-achieve at school. You had to work twice as hard, had to be the smartest in the class, because if you came home with a B, your mom went on a long rant about being stupid and never achieving anything real in life. Or how everyone praised you at work for going above and beyond and then got mad when you couldn’t sustain it. You were constantly on the lookout for someone else’s standard.

“I have so many fucking voices in my ear, telling me to do this or do that. And I fucking hate it. Which is wild considering that that’s what I seek in a sexual partner,” you said.

Dr. Richmond smiled and nodded. “Your mind is trying to re-contextualize your upbringing. Being submissive is actually about putting yourself in the position of power. A dom is only as good as how well he treats his sub. It’s about the ultimate act of trust on the submissive’s part,” he explained.

“Yes! And how can I trust that someone isn’t going to…take what I say or want and abuse that or make fun of me for it?” You asked. You played with the corner of your journal, not willing to look at Dr. Richmond. You didn’t need to see the pathetic pity in his steel blue eyes. 

“You have to stand resolute in what you want. You have to recognize that pleasure and sex is about give and take. Trust and acceptance. The right partner isn’t going to make fun of you, abuse you, or rush you,” he said. 

You sighed and leaned back on the brown sofa. You felt like you were chasing a unicorn. What kind of guy was willing to be dominant and care about your needs? Reassure you when you needed and took control when your body sent massive panicked waves at him? Took care of the trust you were placing in him to help you relax and cum? While also being physically attractive to you and have you be attracted to him; not a chubby chaser, not a creep, and not an abuser? 

It was impossible. Hopeless.  

“If you’re comfortable, tell me more about what you found,” he said.

You took your mind off of your dream mystery man. When the fuck was it going to be your turn? 

You scanned your journal once more, noting the sensations about actually living inside your body. “I think when I feel an orgasm approaching, I get scared. And that could be part of why I’m blocking it, but even when I’m alone, I don’t know what it feels like. Or…”

“Or…?” Dr. Richmond prompted. 

You grimaced. Fuck, this was so hard to put into words. Too hard to expose yourself like this. But did you want to reach your sixties, seventies, never having a true orgasm? Never finding your way to actual release? 

“Or, there’s no way to control the orgasm,” you said.

Dr. Richmond nodded. “The goal isn’t to control it, you know,” he said. 

“I know!” You groaned and stood up. You thought better on your feet. Or maybe when you had something to do, you were better able to regulate the jumble of emotions inside of you. No wonder your emotions were all over the place. You spent too long disassociating, too long in your mind and not enough in your body. 

“What benefit do you get from being in control all the time?” The scratch of his pen on the notebook drew your attention to him. To his pretty face, dark eyelashes, and push lips. You watched as he wrote in his notebook. Watched the lines and planes of his gorgeous face. His short curled afro. 

“If I’m in control, if I never look weak or stupid or incompetent, then I win. I win at life. And all my bullies, from school to home are all wrong. There’s nothing wrong with me because I know what to do. I know what to say. I’m not an alien,” you said, taking a deep breath at the revelation.

Whatever your insurance company was paying him, they needed to double it. You admitted things you never had in the past. Your previous therapists attacked your problem sex first, focusing on different methods you could try. Some wanted you to describe, in detail, whatever you did to get yourself off. Safe to say they weren’t practicing ever again. 

“Do you believe there’s something wrong with you?” He asked. He leaned back in his seat, giving you an unflinching stare. His face gave away nothing, revealed nothing, as you thought through his question. 

“All the fucking time. Why else do friends keep leaving me? Or guys don’t want me? Or my mom is…my mom,” you said. 

“Have you considered that you aren’t the problem?” He asked.

“How could I not be? I’m the only common denominator,” you said. You flopped back onto the couch but it wasn’t that soft. It thudded under your weight and you took a deep breath. Fuck, you wanted to cry. Tears pricked your eyes, turning them hot and itchy. You refused to cry in front of this man. 

This strange, quiet man who seemed to read you like one of the many books on his bookshelf. No wonder he had so many degrees. He could drag a full confession from a mute. 

“That may be true. But, bear with me, consider that you aren’t the problem. If you take yourself out of the equation, what are you left with?” He asked. He leaned forward on his desk and the sudden intensity of the question made your mind blank.

You had…nothing. No explanation, no back up. You were used to making yourself the problem. The issue had to be you. If it wasn’t you…

You shrugged your shoulders and looked away from him. The silence stretched on, so quiet you could hear the quiet tick of the clock on the wall. 

“Don’t shy away now, dig into it. If it’s not you, then…?” Dr. Richmond prompted. 

The question only seemed to make you clamp up. Your tongue swelled. Your throat constricted. If it wasn’t you, then what? Everyone was incapable of giving you what you wanted? Everyone just had an agenda against you? Please, that was narcissistic as hell. 

Dr. Richmond stood up from his desk and took off his glasses. He pulled out a drawer and retrieved a glass cleaner cloth. He cleaned his glasses and walked around the front of his desk.

“Consider, for a moment, that other people have deficiencies as well. That people congregate in groups because biologically, it’s safer. We seek groups to be in and when we can’t find one, we tend to think that we’re the problem. That we are outcasts, getting left out to defend ourselves. But all that means is that we haven’t found our group yet. You’re trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. You don’t belong with the squares, so no, you won’t fit in with them. 

“The same goes for sex. Everybody has their preferences. People have their kinks, their needs. When those needs aren’t meant, society teaches us to look at our own deficiencies rather than someone else’s. Perhaps the man you need sexually is far different from the men you take to bed,” he said. He waved around his glasses as he spoke, drawing attention to his massive hands. 

Seriously, they were huge. Like two lion paws that could strike down someone with one hit. He held his glasses by the frame, waving it around delicately as he spoke. You were still paying attention to his words, but fuck…he was unreal. 

“But how do I find the man that I need sexually?” You asked.

Terry

Terry inwardly groaned as you asked him that. Plenty of suggestions came to mind, each too crass to suggest. How could he tell you to go into another man’s arms? How could he send you to another man to unleash that hidden hellcat within you and he wouldn’t get to experience it? 

He needed to end this. End this before it even began. He placed his glasses back on his face and crossed a line that he never thought he would. “I think we have more work to do to adjust the way you think about sex before we get into how you attract what you’re seeking. In fact, I’d suggest you abstain from sex until we get deeper into this,” he said.

“Abstain?” You snorted and he fought a smile. Your face showed absolute disgust, like the mere thought was abhorrent. 

“Abstain. From what you’ve told me and what’s in your file, you jumped from overcoming your initial thoughts and reluctance about sex right to jumping into bed. Without really, truly exploring yourself first. Kids explore their bodies all the time right? They grow conscious of themselves and start thinking about hey, my equipment is different from someone else’s equipment,” he said.

You couldn’t help but giggle and it caused him to smirk in return. Yes, it was silly. Talking about sex was silly. But it was true. “And as you start to notice people that you’re attracted to, you start to grow conscious of hormones in your system. Brain chemistry. All the fun stuff that goes into attraction. You start to touch yourself more, explore your preferences through porn or books or experimentation.”

You cringed when he brought up experimentation. He tilted his head. “Did you go through an experimentation phase?” He asked.

You closed your eyes and sighed as if it were the last question you wanted to answer. You completely fascinated him. He had no idea what would come out of your mouth next. How you would respond to certain questions or ideas. 

He snuck a glance at the clock, he was nearing the end of the session. He flexed his jaw. This was so damn irritating. By the time you were willing to open up, it was time to end it. He wished he could carve out a month of sessions to get you to lower your defenses and let him inside. 

“No? I grew up in the wrong generation. All everyone thought about was sex and while I did too, no one was checking for the fat Black nerds unless it was a prank. And I saw everything as a prank. I was always getting pointed at, made fun of, stared at. Jesus, being exposed fucking sucks! So, no, I didn’t experiment. There was no one to fucking experiment with. 

“And it wasn’t like I could go ten feet from my mom without her up my ass about where I was going. Claiming she just didn’t want me to get snatched when all she really wanted was just to control me. To not let me end up like her. Young and pregnant,” you practically yelled, spewing way more vitriol than he expected.

He figured it was a sore spot for you by the way you grimaced, but he hadn’t been expecting…that. Again, he balled his fists thinking of every person that ever let you down. Every person that was supposed to uplift you, guide you, help you, all dropped the ball in teaching you about self love.

Every experience every kid was supposed to have was denied to you. Instead of being asked out with interest, with sincerity, boys treated it like a prank. He was wild in his youth, he wasn’t always nice to people, or he went through life like a little gremlin. But he liked to think he mellowed somewhat in high school. Treating everyone with respect. From the nerds to the jocks. He didn’t know what not trusting people’s words felt like. Like everything that someone said came laced with poisoned barbs ready to sting. 

“This is so fucking stupid,” you whispered. Your lip trembled but no tears fell down your face. 

Fuck, even now you were trying to hold everything in. Control a natural response to something painful. “When was the last time you cried?” Terry asked.

You stood up and snatched your purse and journal from the couch. “Session’s up, right?” You asked. You avoided looking at him as you rushed to the exit. The faux glass door clanged against the wall as you threw open the door and left, steps echoing on the linoleum flooring. 

He stared at the door as it lazily swung back and he wondered. And he pondered. 

Wheww, need more? The Secret Terry Richmond Files | Part 1

Taglist: You guys, ya'll gon make me cry with this taglist! Thank you!

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[bakedbakermom]

actually, yeah, it is the same. because it's all PRETEND. no one is getting hurt. it's all pictures in someone's head. it's all pictures in your head. thoughts can't hurt you. THOUGHTS CAN'T HURT YOU.

exploring darker themes through fiction is and always has been absolutely, completely, 100% a-okay. if i write about murder, does that mean i am a murderer or that i condone murder in real life? if i write about torture, does that mean i love it and want it to happen? of fucking course not. but i'm using the medium of fiction to talk about it because there is some aspect of it i am trying to understand or process or express.

writing about rape, incest, pedophilia, etc is - and i want you to really hear me here - no different. yeah, these are things that happen in real life and cause real actual harm. and yeah, if you have experienced these things, you should probably be extra cautious reading about them. (i have. i am.) this is why ao3 has tags and why your browser has a back button.

take charge of your fucking experience and stop blaming others for *checks notes* putting together words in an order you don't like.

you don't have to read anything you don't want to. no one is going to clockwork orange you about it. "don't like, don't read" used to be rule #1 of fanfic and i cannot for the life of me understand why that has fallen out of the popular lexicon.

on god i do not give a single shit about what two fictional characters do, regardless of their age, relationship, gender, whatever. why? BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT REAL.

you know what is real? the victim of rape who finds catharsis reading about their blorbo surviving, and realizing they can survive too. the victim of incest, who perhaps didn't realize or couldn't name what was happening to them, who read something that helped them find a voice. the victim of paedophilia who found the strength to process their experience through a (safe, not-real) medium, reframing what happened to them on their terms.

and also, let's not forget the end of the original post. "two girls kissing" is every bit as depraved and horrid to some people as rape and incest, and if we allow censorship of one, it will - always, demonstrably, repeatedly throughout both world and internet history - lead to the banning of the rest.

it's all valid. it's all fiction. grow the fuck up.

saying ao3 needs to censor certain content is like saying a museum can't have still life art that includes strawberries because you don't like them.

these are not real strawberries. you do not have to, and in fact cannot, eat them. no one with a strawberry allergy will be harmed by looking at them. no migrant workers were exploited in the picking of these strawberries. there were no questionable farming practices or negative environmental impacts from growing or transporting them.

because - and i cannot stress this enough - they are not real strawberries.

if you don't like strawberries, you don't have to look at the paintings. in fact, you can get a map of the museum that lists what works are in what rooms and just. not go in there. if you see one by mistake, you can look away. just keep walking. there's plenty of other stuff to see.

yes, real strawberries can cause real quantifiable harm to real people.

but again. these are not real strawberries.

you may have whatever feelings you like about strawberries, and so can i. you can draw and write about whatever fruit floats your boat, and so can i, even if that happens to be strawberries. and we can hang our art side by side in the same gallery, provided you understand that my strawberries are not about you (and your kumquats are, shocker, not about me) and that - and this is true - neither are real.

and when the fascists break down the doors and grab all the strawberry paintings and heap them in the street and set them on fire, please know that they are coming for your kumquats next.

so if you want a place where you can show off your beautiful kumquat art safely, you're gonna have to tolerate having some strawberries in the next room.

and that's okay. because the strawberries aren't real.

[the-lying-heavens]

"Pick One Moment"

[Spencer Reid x fem!reader]

Masterlist

Summary: A rough case in Dayton, Ohio brings unexpected emotions to the surface for you, forcing you to confront feelings you'd been hiding for years—feelings for Spencer Reid.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, moment of awkwardness

Word Count: 2.0k words

A/N: just based on the lyric 'And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you...I love you' from the song Something Stupid by Frank Sinatra because it's been stuck in my head. I've been planning to write Spence for a while but I've been intimidated.

Staying professional in Dayton, Ohio proved to be a challenge.

It had been a rough case, but what case wasn't, right? Just have to wrap this one up and you can go back to your house and dog.

Okay, fine, this wasn't like most cases at all, not to you anyway. This one had hit particularly close to home. And you didn't like that one bit.

This made you more short-tempered than usual, even snapping at a witness. After a lengthy lecture from Hotch, I mean from the look on his face you would think you had insulted him, he had 'benched' you by having you go through old files that might be related to the UnSub.

Hey, at least you got to do it with Spencer.

After working with him for so many years, you grew quite fond of him. Too fond maybe.

You stared at him going through files with a speed that should not have been human. 20,000 words at a minute, and you thought you were a fast reader.

"Got anything yet, Boy Genius?" you asked, flipping the page of your own file.

He looked up at you. God those eyes...

"No. This one isn't even related to it." he dropped the file on the table.

"Didn't you read the entire thing?"

"Yes," he replied, "It was interesting."

"You find everything interesting."

"Not true," he protested.

You rubbed your eyes, sighing. "Sure, Spence."

He tilted his head at you, a look of concern on his face. Adorable.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

You considered lying, you had been doing that the entire time you had arrived in Dayton after all, but decided against it. "Not really."

"Is it about your family? I thought this case might bring up some bad memories."

You couldn't help but smile at how quickly he had gotten it. "Yeah, something like that."

"Can I help?"

"Can you make memories go poof?"

He actually seemed to ponder it. "No. I'm not sure why you would want to."

"You never wish that you could just forget the bad stuff?" You knew what he had been through, you had seen quite a bit of it.

His brows furrowed. "I don't like the idea of forgetting anything. I mean, Mom forgets enough so I remember for her too."

You realized your mistake and winced. "Spence... God, sorry."

"It's okay," he reassured you. "You're remembering a dark time in your life, it can be overwhelming. Also explains you snapping at the witness, with your nerves on edge."

"Yeah?" You grinned. "It was going to be Morgan but the asshole left before I could. So collateral damage."

He laughed. "He's outside if you want to insult him now. I don't want to be collateral damage too."

"You? Never."

"Never?"

"Never," you repeated.

Oh, how you loved his lopsided grins. "Thank you."

"Always." If you could pick one moment to live in forever, it probably would've been that one.

Minus JJ coming through the door right then. "We got something."

You wanted to throw a file at her. Instead, you get up with a heavy sigh. The sooner you get this done the better, you had to remember that.

~~~

The BAU was heading back to Washington tomorrow, so you could leave this far far behind. Finally. This case taking up two weeks of your life was enough.

You sat at a cafe next to the hotel where you were staying. It was a cozy little place with a mostly brown interior and warm lighting. The scent of freshly brewed coffee and warm pastries filled the air.

You sipped your drink, feeling the cup's warmth in your hands. You had been coming here for the past few days and you had to admit, you would miss this place.

Just then, the door opened, and in walked someone you recognized, glancing around the room before spotting you. With a smile, Spencer made his way over, pulling out a chair across from you.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked.

You smiled back, gesturing to the seat. "Not at all."

He sat down and looked around. "So this is where you disappear to?"

You hummed in confirmation. "it's a nice place to think."

He stared at you for a while before nodding thoughtfully.

"What?" you sipped your coffee.

"Just... Are you feeling better?"

You shrugged. "Yeah, UnSubs behind bars. What more could I want?"

"Closure," he replied quietly.

You pressed your lips together tightly. "It's fine Spence. I'm alright with it."

"I don't think you are."

"Spencer," you said, a hint of warning in your voice, "You want to help, I get it. But not with this. Okay?"

It was an unspoken thing, the way Spencer always seemed to know when you needed space and when you needed someone to push just a little. He respected your boundaries, but there were moments—like this one—when his concern slipped through the cracks.

He sat across from you in that quiet cafe, watching you. You couldn’t tell if he was waiting for you to speak or if he was just giving you the time to process, as he always did.

It had been a rough case, yes, but that wasn’t why you were still here, staring into your coffee like it held all the answers.

Your eyes flickered up to meet his. He was still staring at you, quietly, as if he could see past your walls.

"Spence," you said, your voice quieter than you intended, "I’m fine. Really."

He didn’t respond immediately. His hand rested on the edge of the table, and you could see him fiddling with his fingers. That subtle nervousness he only ever seemed to show when he wasn’t sure what to say, but he knew he needed to say something.

"I don't believe you," he murmured, his voice soft but insistent. “I’ve seen you too many times to believe that everything’s okay, especially when it’s not. You’ve been holding it in, and I know that—"

"Spencer—" you started, but you were too late. He was already talking over you, his voice getting faster.

"Please. I just want to make sure you're alright, okay?" He sighed, his eyes briefly darting away before looking back at you. “I just... I care about you."

Everything felt very... loud. Too loud.

He looked at you expectantly, almost uncertain. Maybe, just maybe, he was waiting for you to make the first move.

You cleared your throat. God, you really hated moments like this, when everything inside you seemed to tremble at the prospect of just being honest.

His hand shifted on the table, and before you could stop it, you had reached out to touch his fingers. It was the smallest of gestures—barely noticeable—but it was enough.

For a long moment, you simply looked at each other, the conversation hanging in the air. There was so much unspoken between you, so much left unsaid. Maybe that was the problem.

Before you could stop yourself, the words spilled out of you, quicker than you could catch them. "I love you."

Spencer's face went completely still, his eyes wide as he processed your confession.

You had not meant to say that. You didn’t. It was an accident. You weren’t ready. You weren’t ready to put that kind of pressure on this, on him, on whatever this was.

But the words had slipped out anyway. You stared at him, feeling the heat rise in your face, hoping the ground would swallow you up.

"Sorry-God, I'm sorry," you quickly got up and rushed out of the cafe.

He just sits there. Frozen.

If you could pick one moment to rewind, it would be this one.

Oh, you fucked up big time.

~~~

You had never been more ready to get home, but unfortunately, there was an hour and thirty minutes on the private plane. With him.

Usually, you would spend an entire flight, after a case well done, talking to Spence. But after yesterday? But not this time. Maybe not ever.

You could feel Spencer’s presence beside you, but he was quiet. So quiet. Not the usual playful banter, no sudden bursts of random trivia or observations. It was almost like he was giving you space... or maybe he was just too uncomfortable to say anything.

Your eyes flickered to him once, twice, each time hoping for some indication of what he was thinking. He was staring out the window, a far-off look in his eyes, his fingers curled loosely around a book in his lap. For a moment, you almost felt the pull to apologize again, but the last thing you wanted to do was make him feel obligated to comfort you. You had put your foot in it already. Now, it was time to ride this out and pray it didn't become permanently awkward.

But Spencer, as always, was unpredictable.

"You don’t have to apologize," he said, his voice quiet, but it still carried across the cabin, cutting through the engine's hum.

You stiffened, eyes fixed on your lap. Had you been that obvious?

"I wasn’t going to," you said, a little too defensively.

He didn’t respond right away. You could feel him looking at you, the weight of his gaze making you want to curl into yourself.

“You know I care about you, right?” He said it so gently, like he wasn’t sure how you were going to take it.

You felt your chest tighten. Care about you. Those words. He was still speaking, still looking at you, but it was hard to focus on his words because everything was spinning around that one sentence.

"I do," you replied. You had to stop yourself from saying more—there was more you wanted to say, needed to say—but you couldn’t. Not yet. Not until you figured out where your head was at, where you both were at.

Spencer shifted in his seat. He didn’t look hurt, but there was something in the way he held himself. Maybe he was just holding back, afraid to push too hard, afraid of what that push might break.

You finally took a breath and turned to face him. He was still watching you, his expression a mix of concern and... something else. It was the something else that had you questioning everything.

"You don’t have to say anything," you added quickly, "I just...said something stupid. I didn’t mean to make things weird."

Spencer didn’t break his gaze, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Not his usual goofy grin, but something softer. More real. Something... intimate.

"It’s not weird," he said, his voice still quiet, "You’re not the only one who gets nervous around here, you know."

You blinked at him, genuinely confused. "What do you mean?"

His smile flickered, a small laugh escaping him before he adjusted his posture and leaned back in his seat. He seemed less tense, more at ease, "I’m just saying... I’ve had my own share of... feelings. I just didn’t know how to... deal with them."

Your breath caught in your throat. Spencer had feelings? For you?

The question hovered between you like an unspoken truth, but it seemed too risky to ask outright. Instead, you glanced down at your hands, the heat rising in your face.

And then, finally, you said something else, the words coming out quieter than you intended: "Do you think... we can just... forget it happened?"

You almost expected him to shrug it off, to offer a playful remark about how awkward it was or how maybe you'd both laugh about it someday. But he didn’t do that.

"No," he said softly. "I think maybe... we should talk about it. When we’re ready."

Your heart fluttered. Was this... was this him telling you he was ready? That maybe he wanted to figure it out too? Or was this Spencer, as usual, just giving you a window to process everything at your own pace?

You weren’t sure. You weren’t sure of anything. But you couldn’t deny the weight of his words, the connection that had always been there and that seemed to grow stronger the more time you spent together.

"I’m not great at talking about feelings," you admitted, looking over at him sheepishly.

Spencer chuckled softly, a breath of amusement. "Yeah, I’ve noticed."

You gave him a sidelong glance, your lips twitching into a reluctant grin. “Smartass.”

"Hey, you started it," he teased, finally breaking the tension just a little. "And I’ll finish it. But not right now. I think... we both need time to think."

You nodded slowly. He was right. You both needed time. The last thing either of you needed was to make rash decisions while emotions were still running high.

"You’re not mad?" You asked it before you could stop yourself, the doubt creeping in.

"Mad? Why would I be mad?" Spencer’s face was open and sincere.

"I don’t know. I just..." You didn’t finish your sentence. What was there to say? How could you explain the mess of emotions you were still trying to sort out?

He reached out across the seat, almost as if he was testing the waters, and placed a hand gently on yours. The touch was brief, but it sent a spark of warmth through you.

"I’m not mad," he said again, more firmly this time. "Not for that."

You were both quiet for the rest of the flight, but the silence between you felt different—more like an understanding, like a promise that when the time was right, you’d figure it out together.

It wasn't the one moment you would pick to stay in forever, but it was a moment you didn't mind being in for the rest of the flight.

[riacte]

Unconventional format / mixed media / meta / epistolary fic ideas:

Script format but the characters slowly break fourth wall until they grow self aware and scream to leave but the script confines them.

Mock up notes of an author's fic outline only for a "fan favourite" / "author's darling" character to gain sentience and influence the story. The character changes the outline to suit their own agenda, and their changes are marked with a different colour whereas black text means it's the author's will. Maybe another character using another colour gains sentience. The different colours fight for dominance. Mom says it's my turn with the keyboard hey what the fuck man excuse me I'm literally trying to save my family can you guys let go and let me write your character arcs in peace OH FUCK OFF

Recipe fic. The story is told via those unnecessarily long backstories on a recipe blog in which you learn about someone's grandma or a breakup or literally anything. Bonus points if the actual recipe deals with worldbuilding (what ingredients are available? What utensils are used? How to serve this meal? Woohoo Dungeon Meshi) or in-cheek recipes (eg. "Recipe for making up with your estranged mother - Step 1: Mix patience, nostalgia, and filial piety and let it marinate for ten years. Step 2: Throw that shit into the trash because you're better than that")

Travel fic. A character is lost and trying to find their way somewhere. GPS directions, googling "x place to x place", tickets and dates, train station maps, leaflets. It gets weirder and weirder. You never get closer to your destination. You're walking around in circles. It's always 10 meters away. Where are you going and where have you been?

Receipts. Try to infer what a character is doing judging from the weird things they buy together. Also yipppee inflation tracker. On the other side, maybe it can be about a cashier/ shop owner getting to know their customers and what they order.

Written from the pov of an non-native English speaker, all the English words are italicized whereas their native tongue are the only words not italicized. Inspired by Kupu rere kē by Alice Te Punga Somerville. This is because I got salty about people from Ao3 Reddit saying they won't read a fic in all italics.

Murder mystery / "Among Us" style impersonation fic strictly using the chatfic format. Characters and readers will have to figure out which character has been killed and replaced from the way they text and use emojis. This is also because I got salty about Ao3 Reddit being a wee bit pretentious about emoji usage in fics. Maybe emojis can be important plot devices! Some people prefer to sign off messages with a heart emoji of their signature colour, so won't it be weird if they use another coloured heart? How about someone using lapslock suddenly using proper capitalisation and full stops? Can you tell if someone's phone has been stolen? What if someone's mother is pretending to text like their child? Why is someone suddenly only using UwU speak? Is it a bit, or have they been replaced?

Innocuous second person POV until the last line where it's suddenly revealed to be first person POV all along and the "I" has been stalking and narrating "you".

Other fun bits / Easter eggs / secrets to hide:

Decoding within the text itself. Maybe we get given instructions to find a word in x chapter on page y on the nth line. And when we as readers collect all the words, they form a sentence that spells out an important fact which the characters are oblivious to. Or maybe the in-universe characters find a book with the same title as the irl fic with a bookmark in it, and if you go to where the bookmark is stuck irl, you'll find the murderer plainly stated. The rest of the fic is about the readers having hard confirmation of who the murderer is while characters don't know.

A phrase is subtly repeated throughout the text of the fic and is spelled out with the letter that begins a sentence. It gives off the effect that the narrator is screaming and crying into the void (to the readers in the fourth wall) while trying to avoid detection. Bonus points if the same word is repeated for pages and pages to the point the lack of sentence variation feels weird and clunky.

Morse code!! I love morse code! Using onomatopoeia to convey the dots and dashes! The sound of rain pattering on the tin rooftop— drop, drop, drop. A low whistle of a train rumbling in the distance. He slowly sharpens his knife, creating a shiiing sound. A lengthy, high pitched squeal from his kettle. A dog barks. A sharp knock. His heart thumps. Dot dot dot, dash dash dash, dot dot dot. SOS. Maybe a character's death scene spells out the name of their mysterious murderer. Maybe a character is reminiscing their deceased loved one and the scene spells out what the deceased person would've wanted to tell them— "LIVE ON" or "I LOVE YOU" or something.

[maika-aika]

Hellooo! Your writing is sooo fun to read that I've been rereading it multiple times now🤭🤭🤭 sooo I kinda wanted to request another post about reader fighting back against the bullies with crowe this time if that's okay, and take your time!

(ps, it's also okay if you ignore this, i hope you have a wonderful day/evening/night! ❤️❤️❤️)

GUARDIAN ANGEL

KYAAA THANK U SM GIGGLING TWIRLING MY HAIR KICKING MY FEET ♡!! I LOVE CROWE SO MUCH BROO!!! Did u know my first fic ever posted here was supposed to be with Crowe but I changed it to Sol instead cz I thought ppl wouldn't like it sobsob

☆: "Someone is creeping you out while hanging out with Crowe, surely you should teach them a lesson, no?"

★: Crowe x gn!reader

☆: Contains: Baddie reader yurr !! Downbad Crowe, creepy dudes, post friend group plot, mutual pining I need to breed him

The bell's ring echoed throughout the entire school, indicating lunch time as students hurriedly pack their things to rush towards their friends and eat at the cafeteria. You were calmer than your unruly classmates, screaming and yelling in excitement as they rushed to their groups and cliques. "Its like they've never experienced the lunch bell go off"

You mused to yourself, happy enough to know that you at least have one friend in your school. Yet he still hasn't shown his pretty little face in your classroom yet, usually he'd pick you up and walk you to the cafeteria, but it seems that isn't the case this time.

"Yo, (Name), I usually see your boyfie pick you up at this time, wonder why he isn't here" your seatmate puts his arm on your head, practically using you as an armrest, making you groan and push him away with red dusting your cheeks "Can it! He's not my...boyfriend.."

Your heart rate picked up as you muttered those words as an evident flush on your cheeks got redder, gaining you a knowing stare from your seatmate as a laugh escaped his throat, smacking your back playfully "Yeah. Sure. And I'm the president of the United States," he marked sarcastically, waving his arms dramatically.

You scoffed, standing up from your seat, and walked your way out of the classroom door, ignoring the cheerful yells and encouragements from your seatmate. "Get yo mans!" He echoed out to you, which promptly made you walk faster in embarrassment.

It didn't take you too long to notice him standing by a vending machine. Taking your chance, you tiptoed your way behind him and gipped his shoulders. "There you are!" You yelled, making him flinch in surprise, snapping his head towards you. His shocked expression made you laugh at his dismay.

He merely sighed and shook his head with a small smile on his face, "You're such a tease, (Name)" his voice was smooth as honey, eyes glinting in nothing but adoration. Oh how you looked divine when you laughed.

"Says you! It's not nice to keep me waiting for that long, you know! Hurt my feelings a bit.." you playfully sulked as a joke, but Crowe seemingly took it too seriously, brows furrowing as an apologetic expression dressed his face "I didn't mean to, there were just some things I had to do before going to you"

Seeing his obviously saddened face made you panic a bit "No—! It was a joke, don't worry! I didn't mind looking for you anyway. " You were quick to reassure, trying to ease his worries a bit, but he simply shook his head. "Still, I shouldn't have made you wait so long. You deserve only the best, (Name)"

His voice is so genuine, and how he stared at you sent shivers down your spine. He's always like this, always putting your needs before himself, always putting you on his first priority before anything else. Curse him and his prince-like behavior!

But before you could ask what he was up to, you felt a random hand hit your ass, laughter, and whistles could be heard as you snapped your head towards the source in anger.

A group of sloppy looking men with dirty uniforms and rolled up sleeves showing their tattoos chortled and snorted at you, as if their making fun of you getting angry with their disgusting actions. "Aww, what's wrong, doll? Wasn't hard enough? I can be more rough if you like"

The main, blonde guy leaned in closer to your face as you winced at the strong smell of his breath. Your expression made them laugh harder, giving each other high fives and fists bumps as if making you uncomfortable is an achievement.

"What do you think you're doing...?"

A hand protectively held your shoulder, making you look up. Crowe's eyes were nothing compared to what you're used to. Eyes that were once filled with love and softness were now filled with pure, raw anger. Yet, he was still gentle with you, carefully maneuvering you to stay behind him, protecting you like a shield.

The boys took one glance at him and scanned him head to toe, judging his every move. The blonde whistled and clicked his tongue, staggering towards the taller male "Watch it, golden boy. You may be class rep or whatever bullshit title they gave you. But these parts are my territory, so I make the goddamn fuckin' rules here." He practically spat out, his lackies cheering him on with vulgar words and descriptions.

If Crowe is pissed, then you're seething.

You hated being insulted, yes, but you hated it even more when people belittle those you care about. So without thinking, you stepped forward and faced the blonde head on, catching Crowe off guard.

"My territory! blah blah, you pissed on this school and claimed it yours like a dog then?"

A sound of surprise was heard from the blonde, even gaining a gasp from their lackies. Clearly, they weren't expecting you to fight back. Crowe got worried, fearing that you might be in danger now. "(Name)—"

"You think you're so fucking funny?"

Without knowing, the blonde grabbed you by the collar and slammed you against the vending machine. Hard glass hitting the back of your head made you groan. Yet you still managed to stare at your attacker dead in the eyes, not running away from a fight you intend to win.

He mocked you with a laugh "Doll, you look so cute when you're angry, but one more goddamn word from your mouth and I'm bashing your fucking skull inside this machine" he threatened, his spit sliding onto your face.

"Yeah? 'Cause I'm about to get real fuckin' adorable"

You raised your foot and kicked him between his legs. A pained groan could be heard as he instinctively dropped you back onto your feet, groveling in pain. But before he could fight back, you grabbed his hair and smashed his head so hard onto the vending machine it broke through the glass. Knocking him out.

You dusted yourself off before turning to the two, shivering lackies, huddling together in an attempt to look smaller and hide from your view. "Who's next?" A malicious smile etched your features, making them scream and run away with their tails between their legs, yelling out apologies and pleads for mercy until they disappeared.

You stood still for a moment, taking in a deep breath to ground yourself. Turning your head to look at the blonde's unconscious body and winced "Yikes...didn't mean to hit him that hard" you played with his arm, lifting and dropping it like a toy.

"Yoo, check it out, Crowe! He's now a—"

"Why did you do that?!" You glanced at him in confusion, eyes locking onto wide and worried ones. "Ehh? They were talking smack about you! I had to do something!" You responded with crossed arms and a pout on your lips. "The least you can do is say thank yo—"

Suddenly, you felt arms wrap around your body in a tight hug. You stood there, not fulling processing what's happening. "You're so reckless..." His voice was a whisper, not daring to speak any louder, not daring to let you go. You didn't know that your actions affected him this much. Slowly, you wrapped your arms around his gently.

His breathing eventually calmed down a bit as he let you go. Once again, there's this softness in his eyes, staring right at you as if you held all the stars in the world and placed it all in your eyes, tracing constellations in your gaze. You felt his hand cup your cheek with the same gentle motion, treating you like divinity.

"You don't know how worried I was about you, (Name). Really..." he leaned his forehead onto yours, his other arm wrapping onto your waist, pulling you two closer than before until your bodies are touching so close you could hear each other's heartbeat. And his was racing.

You scoffed, wrapping your arms around his neck. Both of you are in a daze of adrenaline to even process what the two of you are doing, but what mattered right now is each other's company and comfort. "My fault, didn't know I was such a diva" you made light of the situation, earning a sigh from him as he pinched your cheek.

"More like a trouble maker than anything," he retorted, which earned an offended gasp from you and slapped his chest in mock play. "How dare you insult your guardian angel! Oh woe is me. I am so pitiful!" You dramatically leaned back with the back of your hand on your forehead, he laughed at your playfulness and pulled you in closer to spin you around like a waltz dance and dramatically dropped you, his arm supporting your body as his eyes are solely focused on you.

He gently held your other hand and kissed your knuckles with a smile. "Thank you, angel.." he whispered so softly that it was barely audible. Your cheeks flushed as your teasing words died on your throat, rendered absolutely speechless.

You quickly stood up straight and pushed him away in embarrassment, looking away from him as you tried to calm down your beating heart "...That's cheating" you muttered and kicked the cement, glaring holes onto the ground in an attempt to make it seem your unphased by his shameless flirt.

A laugh was heard beside you. Feeling his hand take in yours again as he wordlessly walked you away from the ugly sight you left at the vending machine. Though he is class representative, and it is his job to keep everyone in check, he finds himself making exceptions for you. No matter how brutal you might get. If anyone from his class would have caught him right now, they'd blame him for favoritism.

But what's more shocking is that he doesn't seem to have any need to deny it.

Silently picking up the paper bag he left nearby, leaving you still unaware of what he's holding, Lazer focused on calming your heart. And oh, does he find that absolutely adorable.

Perhaps he will just slip the snacks and drinks he bought for you from the vending machine under your table once you need it.

Chat imma be fr here, lowkey hated this LMAO yrgghh felt like I could've done better but my class starts at 6 and it's already 5:37 HELPPP

[tan1shere]

Tattoos

A/n: Was just listening to Agora Hills when I just had to write a little something about it - sorry if this isn't the best. Have this while I work on her favorite. I didn't know what to do at the end 😔

Warnings - smuttyish content ?! || masterlist

You thought you hid it well but you guess not. You were currently on your way home from a long shift at work. It was currently 8 pm. You open the door to your home and head in. You see her standing there infront of you, loose sweats and a loose button up shirt. She had done a few things today so probably just wanted to be comfortable with that and the sweatpants on. You look at her confused on why she's just standing there. "Hi babe." You say with caution. "Licking on her tattoos, or even my own." Whyd that sound so familiar.

"Maybe hitting and smacking too." Your face stays the same, utterly confused. "Hello to you to?" You walk further in when she flashes a black book. Your sex book. It was just some silly thing you had written in for laughs, even if deep down those were some actual fantasies of yours. "Oh..." How'd she even find it. You don't even remember where you last put it, it had been that long. "Got home earlier today and wanted to clean our room a bit. Then found this. Is it true?" You didn't know whether to feel embarrassed or nervous.

Her head tilts at you and that's when your nerves kicked in. Billie would never ever make you feel embarrassed over anything. "They might be." You fiddle with your fingers. "Yeah? You wanna lick my tattoos? The one on my spine." Your throat closes that was the exact one you were thinking of. That and the one on her upper. Upper. Thigh. "Where else?" She walks over to you slowly. "I uhm.. uh-" "My thigh one?" You look into her eyes, hers were droopy. "You didn't read it all right?" She smirks.

How dumb could you be right now. "Sure did baby. Got some interesting desires in here." Your head spins at the closeness, her lips being so close to your own. "You know, I think I wanna lick on that one tattoo of yours. You know what one I'm talking about. It's almost like mine." You gulp loudly. You had a tramp stamp on your lower back, she was talking about that. "You can.." You quietly utter. "Can I?" Her tone was mocking. You stay quiet. "I mean, i was planning to do so anyway." Then suddenly you were being slung over her shoulder. Heading straight for the bedroom. She lays you down, hovering over you hungrily.

Your breath catches as she hastily takes your pants off. Her hands reach to lift your shirt up a bit. "Bills." You sigh out, really wanting to be the one to kiss her dragon tat. "Patience, I'll give you what you want." You let out an annoyed whine, wanting to now. "Hey hey, don't be like that. Just want to admire you first. Then I'm all yours." You nod slowly, taking in her words. Calming down just slightly as her fingers run over your body. But you get impatient again.

"Baby let me lick on your tattoos."

She smirks at you as you say that, grabbing your waist and flipping you so you're straddling her. Your hands retract to the sides of her stomach. She smiles up at you. "Go on then, take my pants off." You gladly obey, starting to pull them both off. Your eyes land right on the tattoo, big and beautiful. Her hand cups your jaw. Swiping some drool that had escaped in the process. "Look at you, such a mess already and we haven't even started. Cute." She smirks at you, loving how your face relaxes into your hand like putty. "Go on baby, know you're dyin for it."

You nod yet again, moving your face to her thigh, your tongue darting out and licking slightly over the ink. She watches you intently, moving her hand into your hair, lacing it throughout. "That's it.." She says more so to herself. But you clearly hear it. Going mental inside. It made you wonder what else she'd be willing to do in the dumb little book of yours. Your tongue eagerly moves all over the dragon, slowly becoming dazed as you can smell her so close, your head moves. Going to just have a little lick but she grabs your face. "Just the tattoo." She was messing with you.

She knew how badly you wanted to taste her with your raging oral fixation. "But please.. The smells going to my head." You whine. She chuckles at you, faking a sad look. "Naww, is it making that stupid brain go fuzzy?" Another nod. "Shame, tattoo. Keep doing what you were doing." She was so tempting, you just wanted to have a little lick of her. But you adored how much she was enjoying the show of your licks on her tattoo. It was different for the both of you, something simple yet still effective. "There you go, so good at listening huh?" Your teeth retract going to bite, she lets out a breath but she sure as hell enjoyed the action. Biting her lip in the process.

You may not of gotten a taste of her that night but she got a taste of an amazing show.

[spacecasehobbit]

After seeing yet another popular tumblr post with thousands of reblogs bemoaning the state of comments on fanfics these days - more specifically, the supposed lack of commenting these days, as opposed to The Good Old Days - I have decided that this is in fact a hill I am willing to die on. I'm making a separate post about it rather than reblogging the latest iteration, though. This is hardly the first time I've seen these types of discussions, and my issue is with the mindset in general, not any of the specific people who hold it.

In the most recent version, the entire post with all its various arguments and assertions was plenty frustrating across the board, but it included one line in particular that cut beautifully to the heart of my issue with this type of discussion. The line in question:

"fanfic authors now are treated like content mills, and not like valued members of a creative community who thrive on interaction."

Once I read this bit, I had to stop, take a few deep breaths, and then go make my own post before I imploded over the sheer level of NOPE this line inspired. And okay. The thing is... I want to say this as gently and kindly as I possibly can, but I need to be real blunt for a minute, too.

That line I quoted sounds like a wannabe social media influencer.

It sounds like a person who thinks fandom is - or should be - comprised of fanfiction writers, aka Valued Content Creators, and their respective communities of readers, aka Content Consumers, a strictly distinct group from fic writers, for whom they create fanfiction content and who in turn pay them back with attention and validation in the form of comments and praise.

It does not sound like a fanfiction author who enjoys the creative hobby of writing stories based on characters and worlds from existing stories, engaging in their hobby within a community of other likeminded creators of fan content.

Frankly, fandom has always been worst when it starts obsessing over Big Name Fans who wind up treated like elite fandom social influencers, instead of hobbyists engaging in a fun hobby together based on mutual interests. A shift towards the idea that every fanfic writer should be effectively a social media influencer whose community consists of fans reading the content they oh-so-lovingly create (but only if they get enough positive attention from passive consumers, presumably readers who don't write their own fic or expect comments back from the author in return) sounds like an absolutely awful direction for fandom to take.

I don't want fanfiction and fandom spaces to turn into another social media space full of Our Valued Content Creators, all fighting to build the largest "community" of passive consumers turned devoted followers.

Again, that sounds frankly fucking awful.

The people who only read fanfiction are not your fanfiction community, because they are not engaging in the shared community hobby of writing fanfiction. Your fanfiction community is, perhaps, the other people who are also writing their own fanfiction based on someone else's original work.

So perhaps if comments really are declining on fics these days, instead of asking why passive readers aren't heaping praise on every fic they read and making sure it all happens where the Valued Creator can hear it, you should ask yourself how many other fanfics you've commented on recently, and then go comment on another one if you're still feeling down about your own work.

Or, I dunno, find a fic author you admire and send them a message on tumblr, if you've already commented on all of their fics that you read and enjoyed.

Or start your own discord for likeminded fans, or find a way to set up your own fandom forums centered on your personal fandom interests and invite other fic authors to come join.

Or, like, anything that involves reaching out to the actual community of hobbyists you can reasonably consider to be a community you are actually a part of.

Aka, other fanfiction writers.

[superscourge]

Resurrected AU Ch. 1: Alliance

(read on AO3 here!) Warnings (for the fic in general, not necessarily this chapter): Graphic depictions of violence, strong language, general mature themes Chapter Summary: Scourge breaks into one of Eggman's bases in search of a secret weapon to defeat Sonic with, but what he ends up finding is much stranger and much scarier than he was expecting. Though…he finds a way to get some use out of it. Notes: it really took me like a thousand years to get this started huh. lol. well i wanted to at least get the first chapter out before the sonic au collision event fully started, so im happy to present the first chapter of resurrected au's fic!! god i hope yall like it LOLLL, this au means a whole lot to me.. it's become my favorite baby i wont lie. i will also admit that im a Little nervous to finally start posting my actual writing for sonic stuff; i'm pretty self-conscious abt it actually lmao. but hopefully yall end up enjoying how i write these guys. please be niceys idk how long it'll take me to dish out the rest of the chapters, but hopefully i can find the time and energy to get them out steadily!! thanks in advance for reading and thank u so much for ur support and enthusiasm <3

--

It’s not every day that you get a juicy piece of info that could very well put the odds in your favor. That’s why Scourge was not gonna waste this opportunity.

He’d gotten word thanks to his incredible sleuthing skills [read: eavesdropping on strangers] that Eggman had a new base in the area and had apparently acquired a very powerful “secret weapon” of some sort. That was all he needed to know before deciding it was time to raid a base. After all, if he found that secret weapon? Sonic was toast.

It took a minute to actually find the damn place, but soon enough, Scourge was skidding to a stop at the treeline before what looked to be a large, dome-shaped structure with the patented Eggman symbol on it (or something that looked like it; Scourge figured it was close enough). He smirked, flipping his shades down over his eyes and speeding off towards the entrance.

As expected, badniks littered the area around the main entrance to the base. They looked a little funny, Scourge noted; they seemed a little more…high-tech than he was used to seeing. But, whatever–he figured it wouldn’t be an issue once they were busted to scraps.

… He did have a little trouble with these bots. Just a little. But it was no biggie, since he ended up finding a way inside before he could be overwhelmed. All’s well that ends well, he supposed.

The inside of this place was…confusing. So many twists and turns, rooms that led into other rooms, platforms that moved in weird directions…

“Doesn’t this place have a map?” Scourge grumbled to himself as he ran through the absolute maze of hallways.

After what seemed like forever, he finally came to what was clearly the main, central chamber of the base. There was a very complicated-looking keypad attached to it. Luckily, Scourge was very good at lockpicking.

Stepping back a bit, he hopped up and curled into a spindash before launching himself at the keypad. It took a bit of work, but before long, the whole thing was smashed to bits with sparks flying everywhere. Just as he’d hoped, the door opened once the keypad was destroyed. With a triumphant snicker, he unfurled and landed back on the floor before confidently waltzing into the chamber.

Inside looked pretty much as he expected it to–tubes and gadgets everywhere, lots of high-tech machinery that did Gaia-knows-what, lots of papers littered about several desks that clearly showed the work of an evil mastermind…

Yeah. Deffo an Egg-base.

“Now, where’s that weapon…” Scourge questioned aloud as he strolled through the room. He pulled out some drawers and rummaged around here and there, but he didn’t really find anything interesting so far. Surely this thing wasn’t hidden that well, right?

Just as he was starting to get frustrated, he came across a huge capsule of some kind right in the middle of the room. Pretty obvious, actually. He wasn’t that observant, but whatever. He raised his shades to where they were resting back in their place on his head before he rubbed his hands together with a huge, toothy grin. “That looks promising.”

Making his way to the door of the capsule, he tried to peek inside through the little window on the front of it. He couldn’t make anything out… He decided to just open it to get a look at what was inside, so he searched around for a switch of some kind that would do that for him. It didn’t take long, thankfully, and he quickly pressed the button down that would activate the door.

Smoke spewed out from the door as it opened, making Scourge cough a bit. He waved his hand to clear some of it out of his way as he impatiently waited for it to dissipate enough for him to see what he was in for.

This had to be some sort of cool gun. He knew it was. Some kinda laser shooter or something. Or maybe a bazooka. Oh–a cannon, even! He dearly hoped it was a cannon, actually. The smoke was almost fully cleared, so he leaned in excitedly to see what was inside…!

… It was…a guy. There was a guy in there.

“What the–?” Scourge furrowed his brow once he got a good look at the contents of the capsule. It was obviously a person–a jackal, it looked like? Definitely not a cannon. Who the hell was this? He looked rough, like he’d really been put through the wringer. His drip was cool, Scourge supposed, and the big, gnarly scar on the guy’s chest was pretty intimidating…

Mine’s still cooler, he thought to himself.

Suddenly, alarms sounded throughout the base. Scourge cursed under his breath as he looked over his shoulder. He turned back to the man in the capsule, making a quick decision–he’d snag him and take him with him. He probably had some idea of where the weapon was, so once he woke up, he’d just beat the information out of him if he wouldn’t give it up willingly.

Grabbing the jackal out of the capsule and slinging him over his shoulder, Scourge finally sped out back through the way he came. He was able to dodge any bots that tried to come after him thanks to his speed, and soon enough, he was outside and running through the trees of Mobius once again.

He ran until forest turned to jungle, and before long he was slowing to a stop once again in a small clearing where bits of light showed through the canopy up above. He rested the other man’s body down on a bed of moss near a small pond, figuring that’d be…somewhat comfortable, and he then took a seat on a fallen tree a few feet away.

It was only a matter of seconds before he began to tap his foot. What was he supposed to do now? Just sit there waiting for this guy to wake up? That could take hours… He didn’t have that kind of patience.

Deciding to take the initiative, Scourge stood and started walking over to the jackal, intending to just…lightly kick him until he woke up, or something. However, he didn’t get the chance.

A low, threatening growl could be heard rumbling from the stranger’s throat. Scourge stopped in his tracks once he heard it, then took a few paces back. How long had he been–?

One yellow eye opened to a squint, scanning the area before landing on Scourge. For some reason, the look the man was giving him made his skin crawl… Not that he was going to let him know that, though.

Instead, Scourge popped the collar of his jacket to regain his composure and puffed out his chest. “Took ya long enough,” he teased right off the bat. “I was startin’ to think you were dead.”

The jackal’s gaze lingered on him coldly for a few moments. However, he looked elsewhere when he began to speak. “... I should have been.”

That…wasn’t the response Scourge was expecting. The way he sank a bit betrayed his confusion. “... Wait, what?”

The man sat up, sort of startling Scourge into taking another step back. As he did so, he fully opened both of his eyes so that he could properly take in his surroundings. He was clearly ignoring the hedgehog beside him as he turned his head away, which didn’t really sit right with Scourge.

“Hey!” he barked. “I’m talkin’ to you!”

Giving no indication that he was listening, the man proceeded to rise to his feet, standing at his full height. Scourge sort of…shrank a little once he saw how actually tall this guy was. He knew jackals were generally bigger than hedgehogs, but this guy…

No, no, it was fine. No need to be afraid. He was still in charge here–this guy just didn’t know it!

With an annoyed sneer, Scourge dared to stomp a little closer. “Listen here, pal. If it weren’t for me, you woulda still been stuck in that base. I went outta my way to rescue you, got it? That means you owe me one. So, I’m gonna tell you how this is gonna go down, and you’re gonna–hrk!”

A clawed hand suddenly gripping his neck caused Scourge’s words to get caught in his throat… At least, that was part of it.

The jackal had snapped his head around to glare murderously at him as he grabbed him, which gave Scourge a very clear view of his face. He could see his one piercing yellow eye staring back at him…and he quickly noticed that the other eye had some kind of rock lodged into its socket. It was an eerie sight, and it definitely sent an intense chill up Scourge’s spine.

“You,” spat the jackal, voice deep and commanding, “do not control me.”

Unable to respond, Scourge just kind of…dangled there, hands gripping the other’s wrist as he kicked his legs a little. The expression he wore was enough of a response, though, so he was released after a moment of struggle. Once he was able to breathe and stand on his own again, he gasped for air and rubbed at his throat with an indignant look.

“What the hell?” he managed to say between coughs. “Who do you think you are, grabbin’ me like that?”

Turning away, the taller man didn’t bother to look at him as he replied. “I am Infinite,” he answered simply.

There was a pause as Scourge seemed to wait for him to say something else. When he didn’t, he furrowed his brow a little. “... Like, that’s your name, or…?”

The man–Infinite, apparently–seemed to hesitate, as if he was surprised that Scourge didn’t recognize him. One of his ears flicked.

“... I suppose enough time has passed that my name is no longer common knowledge,” he mused, half to himself. “Pity. I would have liked to think I made a bigger impact than that.”

Scourge watched as Infinite turned to fully face him again, making him subconsciously take a couple steps back. Man, this guy was kinda scary… Not that he couldn’t take him! He was just giving him the creeps, was all… Cyan eyes flicked to Infinite’s hands as he flexed his fingers.

“I will simply have to remind the world what true fear feels like,” he growled lowly, “and I suppose that starts with you.”

The rock embedded in Infinite’s eye began to glow as he summoned its power, and, to Scourge’s bewilderment, he began to lift off the ground and hover there. It was kind of scary, actually. The guy was floating. What the hell?

Then it hit him. The weapon Eggman had been hoarding wasn’t a gun or a cannon or anything like that. It was Infinite. He obviously held some sort of power that Eggman wanted to weaponize, and that must have been why he’d been locked up in that base… Things started clicking.

Despite Scourge expecting him to do… anything, really…Infinite proceeded to seize up in pain and let out an agonized yell. He suddenly collapsed to the ground, falling to his knees as he held himself up with one hand and gripped his head with the other. “W… What…?!” 

Infinite’s hand moved from his head to his chest where the large scar marked him. When he felt nothing but the scar, he had a look of both anger and confusion on his face, which told Scourge that what just happened clearly wasn’t the plan.

… Interesting.

Scourge stood a little straighter once he was confident that this guy wasn’t about to explode or something, sticking his thumbs into his jacket pockets. “Aaaalright, Criss Angel. If you’re done with all that , I think it’s time we get down to business.”

While Infinite knelt there still trying to figure out what was going on, Scourge began to pace around him in a circle, smirking as he did so. “Look. Like I said before, I rescued you from that base, so you kinda owe me one. But–and hear me out on this one–I’m willin’ to come to a compromise.”

Infinite snapped out of his pained daze long enough to shoot another glare at Scourge as he came around to his front again. “Compromise?” he hissed.

Scourge nodded. “Yeah. So, listen–I didn’t get to introduce myself earlier.” He held up a thumb and pointed it at his own chest, teeth bared in some kind of nasty grin. “Name’s Scourge. If ya haven’t hearda me by now, then you’ve been livin’ under a rock.”

Infinite somehow doubted that this brat had left enough of a mark on the world that anybody off the street would know his name. Still, he let him continue.

“I wanna take out Sonic. I assume you know him, right? Well, I think you’re just the guy who can help me out with that. He’s gotten lucky so far, but I think with you backin’ me up, I’ll be able to finally give ‘em his just desserts.”

The name Sonic caused a spark of recognition to flash over Infinite’s good eye. His breathing began to steady. “... Sonic,” he repeated. “Yes, I am familiar with Sonic .”

The way Infinite said his name let Scourge know that there was some beef there, at least. This worked in his favor. “Good,” he said with a nod. “So we’re on the same page, then.”

He turned on his heel before stopping his walk, facing Infinite to speak to him directly. “Like I said, I want you to help me take him down. Easy, right? In exchange, though… I’ll help you out with whatever you want, too. I dunno if you knew this, but I’m basically just as strong and just as fast as that blue bastard. I could give anybody a run for their money if I felt like it.”

Narrowing his eye skeptically, Infinite mulled this over. He seemed to be recovering from the shock from before, and he stood back up onto his feet. It was evident from how long he took to respond that his mind was…elsewhere.

“... I see.” His tail swished behind him as he thought about his next words. “You are offering to aid me in whatever task I ask of you?”

“Cross my heart.”

Infinite gave a huff before crossing his arms. “... Fine. If you intend to uphold your end of this bargain, then I will do the same.”

Scourge smiled widely, his sharklike teeth almost glistening in what little sunlight was managing to poke through the canopy above them. This idiot. He had no idea that he had every intention of double-crossing him the first chance he got.

He held out his hand for a shake to seal the deal. “Glad to have ya aboard, Infinite.”

Infinite glanced down at the other’s hand before reaching forward and taking it, giving it a single shake. His grip was tight. “Let us make the most out of this partnership, shall we?”

… Infinite was not stupid. He instantly knew that Scourge was going to betray him. That overconfident fool was so transparent it almost made him sick.

But…he could also tell that he had some bite to his bark, even if it was just a little. He was seasoned enough as a soldier that he could see that. That meant he could get some use out of him before he pulled his own betrayal.

He no longer had the Phantom Ruby in his chest, and he was alive, and he had no idea why. If this green idiot could help him figure that out…then he’d play along for as long as he had to.

Either way, he was going to get answers. And once that was done? He was going to rip out Sonic’s miserable little throat.

☆

[lazyalani]

| Michael Kaiser × F!Reader

| open ending, bittersweet, mixed signals, situationship, mihya doesn't know what to do, reader just wants him, oh shit toxic, a rollercoaster, impulsive writing, ooc, might be bad but might be good, fast pacing, idk, not proofread, wushu angst

| You're losing me

| Blue Lock Masterlist

| Main Masterlist

and i wouldn't marry me either

The clock read midnight yet here you are, still awake. It wasn't like it was uncommon for people to stay up so late, anyone could stay up all night watching tiktoks and reels, or playing games. It was just that you weren't exactly doing any of those, here you are, watching the ceiling, waiting for him. Always just waiting.

It's always like this, a never-ending cycle of cursing him, but then waiting, and then cursing him again, but then when he comes knocking again, you open up.

You've always been someone reliable when you're asked questions, especially ones about that bastard. Why is Michael Kaiser so good at soccer? Talent. Why is Michael Kaiser so popular with girls? Genetics and Money. Why is Michael Kaiser always on the news? Arrogance. Why does Michael Kaiser always has a say on something? Ego.

Why does he come to you instead of heading to his oh-so luxurious mansion he flawnted with his huge ego along with the piles of money on his account? That one, you couldn't answer.

You swear under your breath when you hear a knock.

And yet you let him in anyway.

a pathological people pleaser,

"Mien leibe, how are you, love?" He says with that sickly sweet smile on his face as he enters and puts his coat and training bag on the couch, a routine you've gotten used to.

The routine also included you just melting into his arms as he sinks in into your bed, enjoying a few moments of his ego ranting and then falling into silence before falling asleep.

But not today.

"Michael, why don't you go home for today?" You say as you turn your back on him, busying yourself with the fridge to avoid his stare.

He laughs and sits down on the couch. "Oh? What's this all of a sudden?" He crosses his legs, spreading his arms on the backrest.

You grip a drink on your hand, still having your back turned. "Just, you should go home."

Because the routine also included him leaving before you wake up, without anything, a note, or something to hold on to, and then proceeding to live out his career, his life, where you couldn't be, where you don't belong. Soccer, victory, celebrations, promotions, advertisements, brand deals, partnerships, modellings, media. Models and media.

who only wanted you to see her

You didn't even know where you stand in this glorious life of his. Why is he even here with you? Why is he sitting on this cheap couch instead of his throne like home? Why does he come to you instead of those models the media claim to be his girlfriend that changes every brand deal and sponsorships?

Why you?

But then it's hard to divert and change your thinking because it changes to Why doesn't he stay here with you? Why doesn't he say a word when he leaves? Why does he even leave? Why does he only come at night? Why does he not clear things up in the media? Why do you even want him to clear it up when you have nothing together? Why is he with those models?

Why not you?

and i'm fading thinking

do something, babe, say something,

He laughs it off. "I'm already here, you want me to leave again?" He snorts.

It wasn't his fault you were so insecure. It wasn't his fault you were being selfish. It wasn't his fault you were being demanding. It wasn't his fault you're assuming things. It isn't his fault because you knew those peaceful nights would eventually come to an end.

But then again, you were tired. So be selfish again, and so you want to stop and rest. You didn't want to play this mind game anymore, it was draining.

You can't fight a losing game. But it was humiliating to think that you were the only one fighting, just to still lose.

Somehow, you knew deep inside he had reasons. Reasons only the closest to his heart would understand.

This empire he was living in was something he built from a rock. The lavish and luxurious life he lived now was something not even the sun and moon could offer him, because this was a result of his blood and sweat. Nothing could ever come in between him and his most treasured gold, his empire, he cannot afford to lose it now. Not when he endured so much just to get to the top. You knew that.

And you were a threat to that.

You were something forbidden. A normal nobody who stood nothing against the world he belonged. You would ruin his image. You would ruin him. He cannot afford to have you. Not fully, atleast, which leads to your current, toxic situation.

lose something, babe,

risk something,

He can't bring himself to choose, huh?

Then you will decide for him.

A few moments of silence passed by, you let him process and sink that you were serious.

You hear the couch squeak as he switches his position on the couch, you finally turn to face him.

His arms propped on his knees as he leans forward, staring at you, as if discerning and trying to read your expression, your mind.

"Mien leibe," He slightly moves his head to side. "you should rest."

You let a smile slip as you stare at him.

He was always the same. Silky blonde with streaks of blue at the end, tattoo on his eyelids, the charismatic aura around him, handsome face, striking features, attractive body and voice. You never questioned how you fell for him. Because you knew who he once was behind the elegant facade. Before the money. Before the fame.

But it seemed like this was the life he was meant to live. This was the life he deserved. And this life didn't have you in it.

Putting down the drink, you approached him and bent down infront of him, cupping his face with your two hands and caressing his cheeks with a smile on your face. "Mihya, you've always been handsome, hm?" You slightly turned his face to sides, as if inspecting him. "I've always, liked your eyes." You whispered, voice almost too quiet. "The fire inside them never seemed to burn out."

His face hardens as he grips your hands and suddenly stands, pulling you up with him as he drags you to your room. "You're sleepy, love, let's go to bed." He says, face hard as stone, his grip hardening each second.

You stick your feet to the ground to stop you both. "Mihya, I'm tired."

"I know, that's why we're going to sleep." Before he drags you again, you hold his hand that was holding your other wrist.

"Michael, let's stop."

you're losing me

He chuckles humorlessly. "The only thing that needs to stop is your rambling, mien leibe. You're just tired from work, come on, let's sleep." He tugs again.

"Michael, I love you."

He stops and laughs emptily again. "Mien leibe, why are you doing this?"

"Mihya, I love you."

He shakes his head, eyes burning.

You cup his face again and press your foreheads together, his forehead on top of yours. "My precious Michael Kaiser, I love you."

You felt a tear drop on your cheek, but it wasn't yours.

Your heart contracted painfully seeing his red stained eyes.

"Why are you crying, my love?" You wipe away his tears with a smile.

"What are you saying all of a sudden?" He touches your hands on his cheeks.

"Is it wrong to say it infront of the one I love?"

"Stop saying that."

"Infront of my love?"

"Mien leibe, stop it."

"I love you, Kaiser."

"Stop it."

"Mihya, I—"

He grabs your shoulders and looks at you. You can't seem to read his expression. Is he mad? Angry? Sad? Disappointed? Furious?

"What will it take for you to stay?" The shake in his voice betrays his hardened face.

You shake your head. "Michael..."

"Do you want me to spend the day with you? Do you want to go out? Do you want to watch movies and eat all day? I'll fucking clear my schedule if that's it."

You kept shaking your head, tears falling with his.

"Do you want me to get on my knees and beg?"

You let out a sob when he drops on his knees and hold your hand.

"Stand up, Michael Kaiser!"

"Don't do this to me, mien leibe." He presses his forehead on the back of your hand. "Please..." He whispers against it. "I can't lose you. Not you."

"But you can't lose everything either." You say, dropping on your knees with him.

choose something, babe,

i got nothing to believe

You craddle his face with your hand.

"Please don't make me choose, I can't... I can't... I can't..." He kept shaking his head and repeating the same words.

Your heart contracted again at his desperation.

"I can't do this without you, mien leibe, but I don't want to go back anymore. I don't want to go back there anymore. Don't do this please, please, please, please..."

You were the only reminder of his past that he couldn't throw away. You were the only one who knew the real him. You were the only one who's genuinely proud of who he's become. You were the one thing no one could ever take away from him. But not if you were the one solely and willingly going away.

"Look at me, Michael. Are you not the greatest in this world? You've been strong, you can be stronger than this. You can be greater, even better, you don't need me. You never needed me, Mihya."

No, you were wrong. He thinks. But he can't get the words out his mouth. So many things circulating in his mind, he cannot even think anymore.

"You don't have to choose, Michael." You kiss his forehead. "I'll choose for us."

He stands up and leads you in the room, this time, you come with him. He lays you on top of him, enjoying a few moments of silence just like before.

You bring your face up from his chest to look at his face.

It was scarily devoid of anything, but the gentle hand on your hair calmed you.

Your rose up from his chest and brought your face above him, arms pressed on he sides of his head.

He stares up at you, fingers combing through the locks of your hair falling down, acting like a curtain, still devoid of any emotion.

You press a kiss on his lips, he presses you down further to prolong it.

"Once you've decided to settle down and finally have your peace, Michael..." You whisper against his lips.

He blinks at you, face still empty.

"Find me in the future, and maybe, maybe, we wouldn't have to be in another life."

[emreads294]

thank you @i-too-enjoy-blog for reminding me🤭

guys this is insane and a very potential reach BUT in a jennifer lynn barnes book anything is possible

ok so this connects the same backwards as forwards to the current timeline so its a spoiler

i know my girl @swiftreader1989 said she thinks kaylie rooney could be calla's mom, but my theory is that she could be lyra's

HEAR ME OUT, for anyone thats read it (and i sure hope you do bc i will be saying spoikers) you know that kaylie was very bubbly and nicknamey... like lyra's mom. and i know jlb writes characters similarly but pls just bear with me.

i think kaylie was too young to be calla's mom because if my math is right she was 17ish when she "died", and calla is a few years older than brady (someone pls fact check this).

also lyra's mom is imo mysterious too, like why did we learn her dads name and a bunch of info abt him and we don't even know her mom's first name.

i think she would've been 19-20 (is kaylie is her mom) when lyra was born. i also noted the significant age difference between lyra and her little brother (i'm not older women can't have kids because we know they can, but just don't think too hard about my bs reasoning)

oh also, correct me if i'm wrong but i don't believe they ever really saw kaylies body in the fire.... ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IN A JENNIFER LYNN BARNES BOOK

ANYWAYYYY if i remember more of my argument i'll add it. and like i said i am aware that this is a crazy reach but i think its a really fun theory

[gutiuniverse]

Thaks for the tag!!! After a long day at the university, I can finally answer!

Favorite color : Blue

Last song : The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks - Realm Overworld / Full Steam Ahead / Sacred Duet (Orenji Remix) I'm listening to it as I write this!

Currently reading: So many fanfics that I'm unable to keep track. And a book about the mythology of the place where I live. I can't tell you the book without letting you know more than I feel comfortable sharing, I'll just say it's in Spain.

Coffee or tea : Neither. I don't like any of the teas I've tried and coffee makes me too hyperactive.

Hobbies to try : I don't have time for anything right now, but I've always wanted to try pottery.

Current au : I'm not really a writer, but I've been daydreaming a lot about an au of my own: Wild is called in the middle of LU for his second adventure and Wind is dragged along with him. But while for the Chain it's 5 months (and they pick up Spirit on the way), for Wild and Wind it's 5 years. So the Chain is faced with a 19 year old Wind, angry at the world and not very cooperative, all he cares about is seeing his family and Tetra again. (I've also made him very womanising, I don't know why, probably because he's a sailor)(Oh, and he's also bi). So yeah, he's not happy with anyone at the moment (he had a big argument with Wild before the Chain met up with them again) although he gets on well with Spirit, he adopts him almost immediately.

No pressure tags : @shallow145 @majorproblems77

Get to Know Me (tagged by @slingbees)

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rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better and catch up with

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Favorite Color(s): ORANGE!!!!! but also yellow!

Last Song:

Currently Reading: them Guardians of Ga'hoole books because when I was in the hospital I read one of them.

Currently Watching: I'm going through Red Vs Blue with some friends.

Currently Craving: this peach monster right beside me. don't tempt me.

Coffee or Tea: I haven't been drinking much of either recently, but coffee.

Hobby to Try: Start animating at home.

Current AU: I guess I've been thinking about that Simpsons comic where Smithers gets cloned, fucking hilarious they just start killing each other. Other than that, I don't know.

TAGGING:@sleepypuddding @funkyjunkyfangz @beeframennoodles100 @danklemckspankle @potatoqueensays @notevenhodgepodge @butchbarneygumble @lorogy662 @calpalsworld anyone else too!

[ramblinscramblin]

May I request scout and demo (and maybe heavy if you want) with a ftm reader??? It can be any scenario NSFW, sfw idc. I'm hungry and I need food 😭 (you don't gotta do this btw just a little thought ♥️)

-‼️

→With a FTM reader!

Genre: slice of life, fluff! Male reader!

Characters: Scout, Demo, Heavy

Of COURSE I will write this. Relationship left pretty ambiguous. Hope you enjoy! Thank you again for the ask!

Scout

Scout definitely doesn’t realize without you spelling it out for him, no matter how “feminine” you may present.

Asks A LOT of questions, borders on invasive, but is just genuinely pretty confused and intrigued about it.

“So… wait, you were born a chick, but now you’re a guy? How’s dat work?”

“Scout, we have been over this. Literally ten times,” you say, exasperated.

After the initial long and honestly exhausting conversation, the two of you feel closer for it. He’s secretly sentimental as hell, so he appreciates you telling him so much, like it genuinely makes him feel so trusted.

When you come out to him, the support is not instant, as he tends to show these kinds of things in really covert ways, he doesn’t want anyone knowing he has a big heart.

But the second someone says something out of line that is when his support is the most apparent. Always corrects someone when they misgender you, but if they continue after he corrects them? Buddy, it’s over.

You tell scout you appreciate it, but you can stand up for yourself. He’s not really having it though, too hot headed to let it go.

Genuinely forgets your trans at time.

“Why don’t you ever use the urinals? S’weird,” the commented once as you left the bathroom together.

“Scout.”

“What?” He blinked at you dumbly for a few seconds, before realization dawns on him “oh shit! Dats right, sorry.”

He’s trying his best.

Demoman

Demo is part of team “not really my business so it doesn’t affect me”

As in it doesn’t really affect the way that he feels about you, or the way he treats you.

Doesn’t ask any questions unless it’s clear to him it’s something you’d like to talk about.

Depending on closeness he may even feel confident in making some jokes about it. Only if you find them funny though, absolutely wouldn’t do it if made you upset/uncomfortable.

Is big into giving you male experiences that you may have missed out on, mostly cliché and stereotypical things, some of which you have probably definitely done before.

“Demo, I think we’re a little too old to be playing trains right now,” you say, holding a train in your hand.

“Fine then, I’ll just clean it up then,” Demo said with a huff.

You stop him “well… I didn’t say that.”

Let’s you speak for yourself in most settings, but if you ever express your discomfort in a situation he won’t hesitate to remove you from it/remove the person causing this discomfort.

Doesn’t make a huge scene, will take the blame for you saying it’s him who’s got a problem.

Demo supports you when you need it, encourages you through your medical transition if you choose to do so/if you haven’t already.

Alternatively, reassures you that you’re not less of a man for not having surgeries or using HRT if you choose not to.

I honestly believe that Demo has been around a lot of queer people, he’s the world’s best trans ally.

Heavy

Heavy, like Scout has a lot of questions when you come out. Isn’t nearly as invasive and holds back anything that he thinks may make you uncomfortable.

It doesn’t change how he views you, thinks of you as man no matter what.

Really appreciates that he’s someone you trust enough to tell, even if he doesn’t fully get it, he understands that it can be a nerve wracking thing to talk about.

Recommends medic if you want to have any surgeries done, respectfully you decline. Fearing for the rest of your organs well being.

Heavy does a lot of reading to ensure he gets things right, but only brings up your transness if you do.

Loves hearing about your trans experience if you tell him about it, will listen intently taking mental notes.

Doesn’t feel the need to protect you, you’re a grown man who handled himself perfectly fine without him. But, like Demo, if he feels you getting a little out of your depth all he really has to do is come stand behind you.

Gender affirming nicknames, always. I feel like Heavy is big into nicknames some of his favorite for you is “big man” “guy” “handsome” if he’s feeling bold.

“How is the big man today,” he asked coming up to you one day.

You chuckle a little bit “it really should be me asking you that.”

Being with Heavy is a testosterone booster, just enjoy being masculine together.

OOOOO I LOVED WRITING THIS SO MUCH. I may revisit this idea later and add more of the mercs, for now I have more asks to get to! Thanks so much for the ask! (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)

[darkbluekies]

2nd year anniversary get to know the author

I have always loved the "chosen one" concept.

ever since I was little, I've written stories where the main character is special. I've always liked it when the character is chased for something only they have/do. Like, they're not just replacable or killable.

Ex. When I was 11, I wrote a story about a pair of twins that have different blood than normal people, which becomes a "super weapon" once their blood touches. By this, the main characters can't be killed, but they're hunted because they're different. Chosen.

Which is probably why I like the yandere style. The main character is chosen and special, something that can't be killed but can be imprisoned.

Some of the best book plots I have ever written are fanfictions I made during my teens

It's insane how well my brain was thinking when making up certain stories. Like me today are still in love with the plots (need reworking though, but the core of the plot is amazing) and I'm jealous of that now.

I painted my room when I was 12 to match the bedroom my character had.

I love(d) that character so much (at the time she was the main of the mains, if you get what I mean) and wanted to be her. She was one of the twins with special blood. There was something about her that just resonated deeply with me.

I feel like I can't write certain things

My notebooks are private, no one is allowed to read in them. Never will. But I have this feeling that either when I have children, they'll read my notebooks because kids are curious, or they'll be published once I'm dead.

I want to explore writing sexual scenes so that they keep up with the rest of the style in a story, if the plot asks for a sexual scene, but I don't feel like I can write them becuase they'll never feel private enough. It feels like someone is always watching whenever I try anything that commes close to sexual scenes. Like I'm doing something bad. Which is stupid, because I'm an adult lol.

I had another oc planned instead of Hedwig

I knew that i wanted one yandere to exist in a school, like the original yandere concept (for me that's yandere simulator) and created a "quiet kid" oc. Funnily enough, i actually found what I had written for him. I thought I had deleted it

But then I decided to make it a girl, because I wanted it to be more similar to the original concept<3 and that's how hedwig came about<3

There was another Edmund

While finding the quiet kid oc, I also found a king yandere oneshot I had written before writing the very first Edmund oneshot in January 2023. This is ALSO four days before writing my first oneshot for this account. This oneshot is older than the entire darkbluekies account. Older than Silas. Older than all of them!!!

Doesn't really feel like Edmund though, does it? Too nice

[assortedvillainvault]

I'm not sure if you're confident enough to write this character (and it's fine if you aren't) but I gotta shoot my shot, the obsession is strong.

TFA Shockwave with a captive human who gradually starts to feel bad for him

(And in case this one's not doable, I propose "NOS-4-A2 with a horror nerd s/o")

For you bestie I gave Shockwave a good go, I don't think I'll be adding him to my list anytime soon but I enjoyed getting to write for TFA Shockers for the first time!

TFA Shockwave x Captive!Reader

An overworked mecha-cryptid desk jocky wasn’t the worst captor, you suppose.

True: you lived on his desk in a giant bell jar, like some kind of overgrown hampster. It was a crippling lack of snacks, privacy, outside contact and certainty over your continued survival – but hey. At least you’re not at work.

Unlike the giant metal cyclops, whom you learned was called ‘Shockwave’ - eventually.

He seemed to never not be at work.

Which you supposed you should be grateful for. Your upkeep as a prisoner depended entirely on him remembering your existence in between reports and...whatever the hell else he did.

It involved a lot of calling another giant robot with a sinfully smooth voice, and sighing wistfully at the empty screen after it was finished.

Like. Dude. Down bad for your long distance boss is a certain kind of hell, that’s for sure. Which was only marginally less awkward to witness from basically under his chin.

One thing you come to realise, after maybe a month? Hard to say – was that all of the surrounding furniture was...small.

Still giant to you, duh. You doubt jumping off the table (if you ever got out of the jar) would lead to anything except broken ankles – but to Shockwave? He dwarfed the room. The stupid chair he sat in barely reached mid calf. He always had to scrunch his arms in and out over the console.

He was tall enough to scrape the ceiling with his horns if he wasn’t careful, and the first time he did so he swore in some garbled language of grating beeps like a fire alarm in a blender – staggering and clutching his head.

It’s clear the room wasn’t designed for him.

Sometimes he got voicemails from, presumably, other giant robots. They’re always speaking to someone called ‘Longarm’ - and Shockwave always rolls his eye and twitches, since the screens aren’t on. Those messages are grating.

Arrogant, presumptuous - demands for updates and schedules and ‘did you read my report?’ and not even waiting for an answer. It’s all the worst parts of a corporate family zoom meeting, and it’s a chaos of whiny security clearances and demands and policies enough to give you both too much and absolutely no information about what this Longarm guy does (did..?) Or why Shockwave is tapped in to his answer machine.

Shockwaves cold, unblinking stare doesn’t encourage questions.

[silkscream]

CHAPTER 15: HUMMINGBIRD

ੈ✩ gojo satoru x reader

It’s not like Satoru can help it. He’s been very good since you decided to stay. Really, he has been. He keeps his hands to himself. He doesn’t make it too obvious when he stares at your ass.

ੈ✩ chapter cw/tags: angst, oral sex (f receiving), edging, fingering, gagging, mentions of sexual assault

ੈ✩ wc: 8k

ੈ✩ a/n: the more i write this fic the more they scream divorced couple. maybe next chapter ill let reader beat satoru with sticks

playlist ✸ read on ao3 ✸ series masterlist

October, 2011

The clatter of dishes punctuates the heavy silence falling over the kitchen. You watch Satoru carefully, noting the tension in his broad shoulders as he wipes his hands on a dish towel, his piercing blue eyes avoiding yours. The playful demeanor that usually adorned his features is noticeably absent, replaced by a melancholy that made the air between you almost tangible.

He says your name, his voice steady but weighted with an urgency that demands your full attention. He clears his throat. 

“About Megumi and Tsumiki…"

His words hang in the room, and you feel a knot tighten in your stomach. You push your half-eaten breakfast aside and lean back, arms crossed, readying yourself for whatever confession is about to spill from him.

"I know who they are, Satoru," you prompt, tone laced with curiosity and apprehension. “I want to know why they’re with you.”

Satoru exhales slowly, as if bracing himself against an invisible storm. 

"When I... when I defeated Toji Fushiguro, he warned me. He knew the Zenin clan would come for his son because of his technique— which they'd exploit without hesitation." His gaze flickers to yours, searching for understanding. "It's been a few years now, and the time is approaching. I couldn't let that happen to him.”

You absorb his words, feeling the gravity of the situation settle over you like a shroud. A gifted child and a vulnerable girl—alone in a world riddled with darkness and greed. Satoru's protective instincts were clear, yet something gnawed at you, a lingering frustration that clawed its way up your throat.

"So you took them in," you state flatly, your voice betraying the anger simmering beneath the surface. "But you left them alone, Satoru. Alone, for days. And a cursed spirit attacked them because of it!"

He flinches slightly at your accusation, the dish towel crumpling in his grasp. 

"I know, and I can't undo that mistake," he replies, his usual confidence faltering as he faces your ire. "But I'm here now, and I won't let anything else happen to them."

Your heart wrestles with the conflict of emotions—anger, concern, and an undeniable sense of loyalty to the man before you. Satoru's intentions were noble, even if his actions were flawed.

"Fine," you concede through gritted teeth, your support given begrudgingly. "I understand. The children shouldn't suffer for the ambitions of the Zenin clan."

Satoru's eyes soften, the gratitude evident in his expression. "Thank you. This means more than you know."

Yet, as you stand there amidst the emotional wreckage, you couldn't shake the sense of unease that clung to you, a shadow of doubt that whispered of complications yet to come. What the hell were you even doing here? None of this was your business, but there are roots in this city that lead to Satoru, whether you like it or not.

With two kids getting involved in that, you have trouble with the idea of going back to your life in Kyoto, even if you’ve only been around for a few days. You trust Satoru more than you’re willing to admit, but you aren’t sure if you trust him enough to leave him as a guardian by himself.

The morning light filters through the kitchen window, casting a warm glow over the remnants of breakfast. Satoru leans back against the counter, his eyes fixed on you with an intensity that feels almost palpable.

"So," he ventures carefully, "How long do you plan to stay?"

You hesitate, your gaze drifting towards the window where the bustling streets of Tokyo seem to call out to you. A mix of longing and uncertainty knots in your chest. 

You missed the frenetic energy of the city, the comfort of familiar places, and the faces of those you held dear—especially Shoko. Her dry humor and blunt advice were sorely absent in Kyoto. You missed… Satoru.

"I wasn’t going to stay.”

“You don’t actually like it better there, do you?” Satoru raises a brow. “I fucking hate going there for the clan.”

“I do,” you lie.

“Come on.”

“Okay, Kyoto was... a trial in independence," you admit, your words laced with both nostalgia and regret. "But Tokyo has always been home. I do kind of miss it."

Satoru's expression shifts, a spark of hope flashing across his features. 

"Then stay a little longer," he suggests eagerly. "Help with Megumi and Tsumiki."

You weigh the offer, your heart tugging you in directions you hadn't anticipated. The children needed stability, something you could provide, even if temporarily.

"Alright," you say quietly, the decision surprising even yourself. "A little longer. Maybe a week. I’ll have to call Utahime and Gakuganji–"

“I can handle it.”

“Um… okay.”

"Great!" His smile broadens. "You can have the extra room—no charge—or the apartment below if you'd prefer more privacy."

“What, it’s just vacant?” you raise a brow.

“It’s a pretty new building. And you know I can pay for it.”

The idea of living under the same roof as Satoru stirs an array of emotions within you. Despite everything, the thought of being close was undeniably appealing.

"The room will do," you respond.

__

You find normalcy over the next few days at the Gojo/Fushiguro household. The rhythm of life with Megumi and Tsumiki becomes a comforting pattern – you and Satoru take turns picking them up from school. The both of you go to Jujutsu Tech together during the day and he tries his best to leave you alone to whatever studies you’re able to do on the Tokyo campus.

You get to know Nanami a bit more, thankful for his company whenever Satoru’s presence is a bit overwhelming. The sorcerer seems to be hovering over you more often than not, to your dismay. The push and pull between you is back, the tension never having left since the Tanabata festival.

Satoru is good at controlling himself. He doesn’t provoke you outright, but there are… things that he does on purpose.

The first day you’re back at Jujutsu Tech, he comes into Shoko’s workspace three times within two hours to “check” on the two of you. The first two times are welcomed, innocent enough to you, but the third time, Shoko yells at him to get out when she’s showing you and some first-years the dissection of a frog.

At home, he’s most definitely trying to impress you. He insists on cooking, which is only successful every other time. You’ve never seen him this eager to make a home cooked meal considering his penchant for takeout. More than once, you’ve caught him napping on the couch with Megumi leaning on him, and it makes your heart swell up so big that it could probably burst out of your chest. The bastard.

The thing that almost makes you snap is his insistence on his late-night showers after classes and missions. Once the kids are off to bed, you’re usually trying to make yourself useful by tidying up. Playing the role of a domestic partner to Satoru was not one that you expected of yourself — not now, at least — so why exactly are you fussing over doing his laundry?

It’s not like he even puts on clothes after his showers. He just loves to hang around in only a towel, often passing by your room to ask you an innocent question while droplets of water cascade his chest, and you’re caught off guard every fucking time. And he knows it.

It’s not like Satoru can help it. He’s been very good since you decided to stay. Really, he has been. He does tend to stare at you longingly, just like he used to, but you’re usually preoccupied with other things, like handling the kids or engaging in your studies. He keeps his hands to himself. He doesn’t make it too obvious when he stares at your ass. 

He’s being good. But it’s in his nature to fuck with you a little.

So he starts touching you more often, too. Wakes up earlier than you (he doesn’t sleep much anyway, apparently) to make you coffee the way you like in the morning, just in his boxers. Sometimes he uses the travel shampoo you bought just so you can get a whiff of him and feel very, very confused. The way you pinch your brows each time your body gives in just a little bit is priceless.

It’s satisfying for him, to say the least. Especially since he can’t help but think of you when he’s in the shower, ruining the shower tiles after he fists his cock at the thought of you like he’s sixteen again. He almost feels bad since the bathroom is connected to both your room and his. 

Well, what you don’t know won’t hurt.

You’re smart, though. You catch on very quickly to his attempts at getting attention from you and ignore Satoru when you realize. It’s almost devastating when you don’t look at him anymore.

One night, he’s particularly antsy. He’d convinced Nanami to go to some happy hour with him just so he could talk all about you and mildly tell him that you’re off-limits. When he comes up behind you while you’re cooking dinner, you smell the artificial sweetness of some fruity liquor. He places his hand on your hip.

“There’s my little housewife.”

You look at him, your expression completely blank. 

“And who are you talking to?” you respond coolly.

He chuckles. “Just kidding. Whatcha makin’?”

“Yaki udon.”

“Oooh. Need any help?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Aww, come on,” Satoru pouts. “S’the least I can do.”

“Not when you’re tipsy.”

“Ah, you caught that, huh?” He leans against the corner and grins cheekily. “Just had a drink with Nanami-kun. He’s been a great help on some missions lately.”

You hum as you stir the noodles.

“He’s handsome, isn’t he? Save for that emo-ass haircut–”

“Satoru,” you say his name sharply.

“Yes?”

“What do you want?”

“Nothing,” he asks, his lashes batting innocently. “Just making conversation.”

“Okay, well… can you leave me alone in the kitchen? You’re kind of driving me insane here.”

He holds his hands up in mock surrender. “Anything for you,” he mutters under his breath.

You’d have to crack eventually.

__

October, 2008

Gojo was getting a little clingy. He loved having you over, loved handling you like some kind of ragdoll just because he could. In his head, it was making up for all the times he avoided you like the plague. He had you wrapped around his finger – you let him fuck you for all these months, didn’t you?

It was probably the longest he’d ever been with someone. You were basically a girlfriend at this point, or so Suguru liked to tease him. The word girlfriend left an odd taste in his mouth.

But sure, he could pretend. He acts like a boyfriend, maybe. Chases you around the corridors like he used to when he was a kid, only to pin you down to his bed, skirt up. He likes to bite at the ankle of your leg whenever you ignore him while you’re in his bed. 

He was such a teenager about you, but that was his right. He’s young . Both of you could be a little lovesick if you wanted to be. He wasn’t thinking too far into the future anyway. 

But there are moments when you look at him like you’re in love and it fucking terrifies him.

Because he leans into it, too. His kisses with you are longer, his touches lingering. He’s started to get antsy if you’re in the room and he’s not touching you. It’s an itch that won’t go away. He wants to keep you all for himself — that’s why he doesn’t tell you about Shoko’s party.

She had an inkling about the two of you. Satoru always acted like an idiot, but Shoko knew him long enough to see that something was different. She wanted to properly spend time with you, so she said. And you could, Satoru reasoned. Just not in his house full of intoxicated people, comprised mostly of other boys from school.

The thought of you surrounded by other men made his stomach churn. He pictured their eyes on you, their hands reaching out to touch what was his. No, he couldn't allow that. 

He knew he had it bad ever since last week. 

Suguru’s hair was growing past his collarbone and you offered to cut it for him. It was stupid how Satoru couldn’t stand it – the way your delicate fingers combed through Suguru’s dark hair. His boyish grin while you stood above him with kitchen scissors, blades of black cascading down his bare back. Satoru couldn’t help but think that you looked perfect together.

He knew Suguru was no competition — you were Satoru’s, and he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else. That fact alone was odd. He’d never been with anyone who was a virgin before. Knowing that he was the first to touch you at all made him dizzy — he still remembered how wet you were the first time, even though he had only kissed you once before.

At the moment, his face nuzzles your belly as you read on a chaise lounge in the Gojo den. He was annoying you, pulling your shirt up, nipping at your skin. You’d swat him away, but there was no use. There’d be pink welts, love-shaped bite marks. Clan blessings.

You were stubborn as always, but he liked the chase. Everyone else would fold too easily — there was no game. With you, there always was. He was addicted.

“Can I eat you?”

“No.”

“Please?”

You snap his name and he grins to spite you, his hands tickling the meat of your thighs anyway.

“Fine,” he huffs. “Did you think about what I said?”

You feign ignorance, barely peering at him. “About?”

“About school. ”

He needed you at Jujutsu Tech. It was better than you being stuck at his estate. No one at the local colleges would be enough for you. Satoru imagined you with human boys, ones at the bottom end of the spectrum in which he was at the top. They’d take you for granted. He couldn’t bare the thought of any of them fucking you with clumsy, sweaty hands. Unpracticed rolls of the hips, fish mouths. It made him sick.

“No, I haven’t thought about it.”

He rolls his eyes. He looks up at you, then. At your lips.

“Please. ”

“Don’t beg,” you smirk. His eyes flicker and narrow. He wanted you beneath him, pressed into his bed. As much as he was mildly pissed off, your tone was different. It made his insides burn. 

Satoru's eyes darken, a mischievous glint dancing in their depths. In one fluid motion, he rises from his position at your feet, his body moving with a predatory grace. His hands find your waist, fingers digging into the soft flesh as he pulls you closer.

"Don't tease me," he murmurs, his breath hot against your ear. The book you were reading clatters to the floor, forgotten.

Your breath hitches as Satoru's lips graze your neck, his teeth nipping gently at the sensitive skin. You could feel the tension radiating off him, a mix of desire and frustration that made your heart race.

"I'm not teasing," you whisper, but your voice trembles slightly, betraying your own growing arousal.

You gasp as his fingers ghost over your center, the thin fabric of your underwear doing little to mask the heat emanating from your core. Satoru's other hand tangles in your hair, pulling your head back to expose more of your neck to his hungry mouth.

"Satoru," you breathed, your hands clutching at his shoulders. "Your mom’s home. We can’t—"

He lifts his head, his piercing blue eyes meeting yours. "Why not? Just be quiet. She never comes in here anyways." His fingers continue their teasing exploration, making you squirm beneath him. "Besides, I thought you liked a little risk."

As his hands roam your body, leaving trails of fire in their wake, you can't help but wonder if he realizes just how much you belonged to him - and how dangerously close you were to stealing his heart in return.

“You love me, right?” he breathes. You look at him with wide eyes, unable to speak.

You could only nod dumbly.

Satoru pulls back just enough to look into your eyes, his gaze intense and searching. "Then say you'll come to Jujutsu Tech. Be with me."

You hesitate, torn between the allure of his offer and your own uncertainties. "Satoru, I-"

But before you can finish, his mouth is on yours, hot and demanding. His kiss is bruising, possessive, as if he could convince you through sheer force of will. Your hands find their way into his hair, tugging gently as you return the kiss with equal fervor.

When you finally break apart, both panting, Satoru rests his forehead against yours.

"I need you there," he says, his voice low and raw. "I can't stand the thought of you being anywhere else."

You close your eyes, overwhelmed by the intensity of his words, of his touch. Part of you wanted to give in, to let yourself be swept away by his passion. But another part held back, wary of losing yourself completely in Satoru Gojo.

He was serious. It would kill him — he said it with his eyes. He always spoke in hyperboles. He was allowed as such, his own existence larger than life itself.

"Let me think about it," you murmur, running your fingers along his jaw. "Please?"

Satoru groans softly, clearly unsatisfied with your response. But he nods instead, pressing one more kiss to your lips before pulling away.

"Fine," he says, his tone a mixture of resignation and determination. "But don't take too long. I'm not known for my patience."

As if to emphasize his point, he scoops you up in his arms, ignoring your startled yelp. "Now," he grinned, all boyish, "I believe I asked if I could eat you earlier."

Your protests dissolve into laughter as he carries you upstairs towards his bedroom, the unresolved tension between you momentarily forgotten. He loved playing with you, pulling your hair. He liked the way you yipped like a puppy when his tongue was carving out your cunt, imprinted with the tender muscle. Swirling heart shapes in between the ribboned folds.

He could feel how close you were already from the way your pussy twitched underneath him, his drool mixing with your arousal. When you’re right at the brink, he stops.

“Satoru!” you hiss.

“Say you’ll go to Jujutsu Tech with me.”

“Are you – are you edging me over this?”

“Sure am,” he grins, his mouth wet with you. Your throat dries up. He was always doing this lately to get what he wanted. 

“You’re fucked up.”

“You like it,” he murmurs, licking your clit teasingly. Smirking as your body seizes up.

“You’re insufferable,” you grit. “And entitled–”

“Keep going. I like it when you’re mean to me.” He presses his cheek against your damp thigh. “It gets me hard.”

You scoff. “If you don’t wanna fuck, we don’t have to.”

“You don’t mean that, baby. You want to come, don’t you?” He plunges his fingers into you, hooking into the soft spot that makes your eyes roll back. 

“Satoru—”

“Shit, you’re wet. I could make you feel so good if you weren’t being such a brat.”

“How am I the one being a brat when — hah –” Your breath hitches when he pulls the pleasure out of you. Summoning lightning. 

“You wanna come or not?” he taunts. “Yes, fuck— okay, okay, I’ll… I’ll enroll—”

He pauses, his face lighting up eagerly. “Really?”

“No,” you huff, kicking him off of you with your foot. “But I might. I need to figure out my technique a little more.”

“I’ll train you.”

You roll your eyes and straddle him, pawing at the bulge straining against his pants. He looks at you, love-struck, face red as your other hand grabs his chin forcefully. 

“You still wanna fuck?” you ask, pulling off your soiled underwear. 

“Fucking obviously—” He gets cut off by you stuffing his mouth with your panties. His face flushes as red as a tomato when you unzip his pants and palm him.

“I’ll fuck you if you stop being so annoying. That means you stop pestering me. And you can train me on my terms. ”

Satoru nods slowly, eyes glazed over. You feel him throb against your hand and you smile. 

__

October, 2011

You find yourself alone in the apartment. Megumi and Tsumiki are at a sleepover, and Satoru is out on a mission. The silence is both a relief and oddly unsettling after days of constant company.

You decide to take advantage of the solitude, drawing a hot bath and sinking into the steaming water with a contented sigh. The scent of yuzu soap relaxes you. The tension in your muscles begins to melt away as you close your eyes, allowing your mind to wander.

Unbidden, thoughts of Satoru float to the surface. The sky-blue of his eyes, the curve of his smile, the way his muscles ripple beneath his shirt when he moves. You squeeze your eyes shut tighter, trying to banish the images, but they persist, growing more vivid with each passing moment.

You're so lost in your thoughts that you don't hear the front door open, or the soft footsteps approaching the bathroom. It's only when Satoru's voice cuts through the silence that you jolt back to awareness.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't realize you were in here."

Your eyes fly open to see Satoru standing in the doorway, his hair tousled from the wind and a faint flush on his cheeks. His gaze roams over you for a split second before he averts his eyes, but not before you catch the hungry look that flashes across his face.

"It's fine," you manage to say, your voice slightly strained. "I'll be out in a minute."

Satoru nods and retreats, closing the door behind him. You let out a shaky breath, your heart racing. The bathwater suddenly feels too hot, your skin flushed and tingling.

You step out of the tub and wrap yourself in a towel, acutely aware of how the soft fabric clings to your damp skin. Taking a deep breath, you open the door and step into the hallway.

Satoru is there, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His eyes lock onto yours, and the intensity of his gaze sends a shiver down your spine.

"I thought you were on a mission," you say, trying to keep your voice steady.

"Finished early," he replies, his voice low and husky. "Wanted to come home."

The word 'home' hangs in the air between you, laden with unspoken meaning. You're hyper-aware of how close he is, the heat radiating from his body.

You run your tongue over your teeth, feeling small under his gaze. His blue eyes are unfaltering, boring into you so intensely that you feel branded. Head waterlogged from the weight of it. 

You know what he’s thinking – you can see the longing in his eyes. It seemed that Satoru decided to cut the bullshit for once, letting his desire flow freely. He doesn’t say a word about his desire, still, but you can tell he’s sick of flirting. Like the ice king he could be, he demands presence by simply looking at you.

It makes your stomach flip the way it used to. You always lie to yourself, convinced you can resist him after all these years. You’re both breathing a little too hard. You notice a maroon streak of blood underneath the loose collar of his shirt and inhale sharply.

“I made soba if you’re hungry.” Your voice is as thin as a willow. “It’s in the fridge.”

Satoru smiles. “Thanks.”

Your face is still warm from the bath, feverish from the hot water. He looks predatory and pleased, making you feel pent-up and fidgety. Touch-starved.

You nod curtly and slip past him, your damp skin brushing against the fabric of his shirt. The brief contact sends electricity crackling through your body, and you hurry to your room, closing the door behind you with a soft click.

Your heart pounds as you lean against the door, listening to Satoru's footsteps retreating down the hallway. You take a deep breath, willing your pulse to slow. With trembling hands, you dress in loose pajamas, the soft cotton a stark contrast to the lingering heat on your skin.

When you finally emerge from your room, you find Satoru in the kitchen, heating up the soba you prepared earlier. He's changed into a simple white t-shirt and sweatpants, his hair still slightly mussed. The domesticity of the scene strikes you, and for a moment, you allow yourself to imagine what it would be like if this were your everyday reality.

"Want some?" Satoru asks, gesturing to the steaming bowl in front of him.

You shake your head, moving to the refrigerator to pour yourself a glass of water. "I already ate."

As you reach for a glass, Satoru moves behind you to grab the soy sauce. His chest brushes against your back, and you freeze, hyper-aware of his proximity. He lingers for a moment longer than necessary before stepping away.

You retreat to the living room, curling up on the couch with a book you've been meaning to read. Satoru joins you a few minutes later, settling next to you. The silence between you is charged, filled with unspoken words and suppressed desires.

You try to focus on your book, but your eyes keep darting to Satoru. He's scrolling through his phone, the blue light casting shadows across his sharp features. Occasionally, his gaze flicks to you, and each time your eyes meet, the tension in the room ratchets up another notch.

"How was the mission?" you ask, desperate to break the silence.

Satoru shrugs, setting his phone aside. "Nothing too exciting. Just a low-level curse causing trouble in Shibuya."

You nod, trying to appear nonchalant as you take a sip of water. Your hand trembles slightly, and before you can react, the glass tips, sending a cascade of cool liquid splashing onto Satoru's lap.

"Shit," you exclaim, jumping to your feet. "I'm so sorry."

Satoru looks down at his soaked sweatpants, a mix of surprise and amusement crossing his face. 

"Well, that's one way to cool things down," he chuckles, standing up.

You rush to the kitchen, grabbing a dish towel, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. When you return, Satoru is still standing there, the wet fabric clinging to his thighs in a way that makes your mouth go dry.

"Here," you say, thrusting the towel at him.

He takes it, but instead of drying himself off, he catches your wrist, pulling you closer. "Why don't you help me?" he suggests, his voice low and teasing.

Your breath catches in your throat as you look up at him, torn between desire and the last shreds of your self-control. Slowly, almost against your will, you bring the towel to his thigh, dabbing at the wet spot.

The room feels electric, charged with the tension that's been building between you for days. You can feel the heat of his skin through the damp fabric, the firm muscle beneath your trembling hand. Satoru's breathing has quickened, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he watches you.

"I think you missed a spot," he murmurs, guiding your hand higher up his thigh.

You swallow hard, your fingers brushing dangerously close to the junction of his legs. The air between you feels thick, heavy with unspoken desire. You can smell his cologne, a heady mix of sandalwood and something uniquely Satoru that makes your head spin.

"Satoru," you breathe, your voice barely above a whisper. 

But even as the words leave your lips, you find yourself leaning closer, drawn in by the magnetic pull of his presence. Satoru's hand comes up to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of your lower lip.

"Tell me to stop," he says softly, his eyes searching yours.

You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out. Instead, you find yourself rising up on your tiptoes, closing the distance between you until your lips are mere inches apart. You can feel his breath on your skin, warm and inviting.

For a moment, you hover there, suspended in time. The world narrows down to just the two of you, everything else fading into the background. Your heart pounds in your chest, so loud you're sure Satoru must be able to hear it. You huff, turning your face away.

“Stop,” you mutter. Satoru’s face falls.

“Twigs.”

“Satoru .”

“What ?” he asks sharply. “I know we’ve been apart for this long but you’ve never stopped being mine. You realize that, don’t you?”

You clench your jaw, glaring at him. It excites him, undoubtedly. Satoru won’t admit it, but his desire is only ignited even more when you’re angry. He knows that you know this, too, but you won’t indulge him. You’re the picture of composure, but the facade is cracking very, very delicately.

“You’re still so entitled.”

Satoru sighs in frustration. “I don’t understand what you want from me. I could give you everything — I want to. Fuck, I will. But your insistence in keeping me at arm’s length is driving me insane.”

You raise a brow. “Begging for sex now, are you?”

“That’s not—” he flushes. You have a point, and there’s no use in denying it. He’d rather be humiliated and be thrown a bone. “So what if I am? Wouldn’t be the first time, would it?”

“Can you just— behave? I know what you’re doing. I know what you’ve been doing.”

“What have I been doing?”

“Seriously, Satoru? Walking around half-naked when it’s just the two of us, flaunting the kids around because you’re trying to awaken some maternal instinct in me or something? Are you trying to babytrap me?”

“I’m not! I just — fuck, I missed you. So much. Maybe I get a little desperate sometimes. I can’t help it.”

You sigh, scrubbing your hand over your face. “Eat your damn soba and behave. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“About what? Our sexual tension?” he teases.

You flick his forehead, huffing, before turning on the television to distract yourself. Thankfully, he only snorts and sets down his bowl of noodles to quickly change in the bedroom. He merges in a pair of athletic shorts and the mere sight of it makes your jaw tick.

He resumes eating next to you, eyes fixed on the television. He knowingly manspreads, thigh to thigh with you. The television flickers, casting a soft blue glow across the dimly lit living room. You try to focus on the drama unfolding on screen, but your attention keeps drifting to the man beside you.

Satoru sits with an air of casual indifference, one arm draped across the back of the couch, his fingers mere inches from your shoulder. His legs are spread wide, his muscular thigh pressed against yours, radiating heat through the thin fabric of your pajamas.

You shift slightly, attempting to put some distance between you, but the couch suddenly feels impossibly small. Satoru doesn't move, his eyes fixed on the television, but you can see the faintest hint of a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. 

Asshole.

The air in the room feels thick, charged with an electricity that makes your skin tingle. Every breath he take is hypnotic in its rhythm. If you weren’t so attuned to it, you’d have the mind to control your own breathing, the persistent hummingbird pattern of your pulse.

On screen, the lead actress leans in for a passionate kiss with her love interest. You swallow hard, your mouth suddenly dry. From the corner of your eye, you see Satoru's tongue dart out to wet his lips, and you grimace.

He stretches, his t-shirt riding up to reveal a sliver of toned abdomen. Your eyes are drawn to the trail of silverish hair disappearing beneath the waistband of his shorts. When you drag your gaze back up, you find Satoru watching you, his blue eyes dark.

"Everything okay?" he asks innocently.

You nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Satoru's hand moves from the back of the couch to your shoulder, his thumb tracing lazy circles on your skin. The touch sends shivers down your spine, and you have to bite your lip to keep from leaning into his warmth.

"You seem tense," he murmurs, his fingers kneading gently at the knots in your muscles. "Want me to give you a massage?"

The offer is tempting, so tempting that for a moment you consider giving in. But you know where it would lead, and you're not ready to cross that line. Not yet.

You don’t respond, merely giving him an annoyed look that acts as a warning.

Satoru shrugs, his hand sliding away, leaving your skin burning in its wake. There’s a glint of mischief in his expression, the cock-sure boyishness of his younger self stewing under the surface. But he’s behaving. Technically.

"Suit yourself," he snickers, turning his attention back to the TV.

As the on-screen kiss intensifies, you feel your cheeks grow warm. The embrace seems to last for an eternity, the actors’ hands roaming each others’ bodies in an urgency that reminds you of the person next to you. Satoru notices the way you awkwardly shift and grins.

“Getting turned on by some softcore porn?” he whispers, his voice playful. “Or are you getting flashbacks?”

You shoot him a withering glare, but it only seems to encourage him. “Shut up, Satoru.”

The tender love scene gets even more intense, the sound of gasps and moans filling the space. 

“Don’t be so shy,” he snorts, reaching over to squeeze your knee. “Though I have to say, I’m a bit hurt. You never blushed like that for me.”

You open your mouth to give him a sharp retort, but the words die on your lips when you catch his dilated pupils and playful smirk.

“I— I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you mutter.

“No? Should I refresh your memory and you can prove me wrong?”

You roll your eyes, ignoring him. His forwardness never ceases to surprise you, but your blood warms up from your frustration — with him, with the way you’re so close to giving in. You refuse to let him have power over you despite knowing he does and always has.

Satoru stretches an arm over the back of the couch again, his skin touching your hair. He leaves you be, for now, but the lazy smirk on his face lingers as if he’s won an unspoken battle.

You know better, though. You’ll give him what he wants if it’ll satiate him, but he won’t be the one winning.

“Hey, Satoru.” You scoot closer to him, your eyes dark in the bluish shadow of the television. “How have you been managing without me?”

He raises a brow. He doesn’t know what you mean — truthfully, he’d been a mess the entire time, but you already knew that, given his confessions months prior. But he’d been alright with the kids. Having you back just made him feel normal again.

“Uh, fine?” 

“Right,” you nod slowly. “You know, I ran into one of our classmates yesterday at the grocery store.”

“No kidding.”

“Mhm. Fukuda Masako. You remember her, right?”

He narrows his eyes. Yes, he remembered her. He’d fucked her a couple of times when he was sixteen, usually at his house, usually loud enough for you to hear on purpose. He doesn’t know why you’re bringing that up now .

“Sure.”

“She asked about you. Wondered if you were single.”

“What’d you say?” he asks carefully, jaw tightened.

“I said you were, of course. The great Satoru Gojo would never let a girlfriend hold him down, right?”

He gives you a sharp look. “What are you getting at?”

“Nothing,” you smile innocently. “I was just looking out for you. Tsumiki says you look lonely sometimes, you know?”

“I’d rather not waste my time with a non-sorcerer,” he scoffs.

"Why not? You used to all the time, even when we were underclassmen at Jujutsu Tech. You’d do it to get back at me and Suguru sometimes, right?”

He stares at you. The playful atmosphere from moments ago evaporates, replaced by a sudden tension that crackles in the air between you.

"That was a long time ago," he says, his voice low and controlled. "I was young and stupid."

You lean back, crossing your arms as you regard him coolly. "Were you? Or were you just being yourself?"

The words hang in the air, sharp and accusatory. Satoru's eyes flash with a mix of anger and hurt, his usual cocky demeanor faltering for a moment.

"What are you really trying to say?" he asks, turning to face you fully.

You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for the conversation you've been avoiding for years. 

"I'm saying that you have a history, Satoru. A history of using people, of playing games. And I'm not sure that's changed."

Satoru runs a hand through his hair, frustration evident in the tense set of his shoulders. 

"Is that what you think? That I haven't grown at all?"

"Have you?" you challenge, your voice rising slightly. "Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like you're still playing the same games. Flirting, teasing, trying to make me jealous. It's all so familiar."

The words tumble out, years of pent-up emotions finally finding their release. You remember the nights you spent lying awake, listening to the sounds of Satoru with other girls, the way he'd smirk at you the next day, daring you to say something. The constant push and pull, the mind games that left you dizzy and confused. The times he’d be overly possessive and jealous despite having his arm around other girls at parties while you’d find comfort in Suguru.

Satoru's face darkens, a storm brewing behind his eyes. 

"That's not fair," he says, his voice tight with suppressed emotion. "I've changed. I'm not that person anymore."

"Really?" you press, leaning forward. "Then why does it feel like you're still trying to manipulate me? The half-naked wandering, the constant flirting, using the kids to tug at my heartstrings. It's all calculated, isn't it?"

Satoru stands abruptly, pacing the length of the living room. The muscles in his back are taut beneath his thin t-shirt, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

"Is it so hard to believe that I genuinely care about you?" he asks, whirling to face you. "That maybe I've realized what I lost and I'm trying to make amends?"

“So you admit you’ve fucked up? Tell me what you’re making amends over!”

He opens his mouth, but you cut him off. “Do you know how embarrassing it was when I’d feel confused over you and I’d vent to Shoko and Utahime? What about years ago when you were sleeping with me exclusively and then pretended I didn’t even exist?”

“What? I’ve never—”

“You ignored me the entire time at Shoko’s nineteenth birthday party,” you snap.

He pauses and thinks back to how drunk you’d gotten. How he went ballistic on another boy for putting his hands on you, how you’d vomited in his bathroom. The guilt creeps back again like a parasite and his face crumples.

"I remember that night," he says softly, his voice muffled. "I remember every detail, every mistake I made."

You watch him, your anger tempered by the raw emotion in his voice. Satoru takes a deep breath, lifting his head to meet your gaze.

"I was terrified," he admits. "Terrified of how much I cared about you, of how much power you had over me. I'd never felt that way before, and it scared the shit out of me."

He leans back, his gaze fixed on some distant point as he continues. "That night at Shoko's party, I— I couldn't handle it. Being with you. I don’t know why I ignored you, why I was trying to pretend everything was more casual than it was. If I’d just— been there , then you wouldn't have—”

His voice tapers off into a choke. Satoru's confession hangs in the air between you, heavy with years of unspoken truths. You remember that night vividly – the sting of his indifference, the confusion and hurt that had driven you to drink more than you should have. The way you felt when someone else’s tongue was in your mouth.

“When I saw that creep put his hands on you," Satoru continues, his voice tight with remembered anger, "I lost it. I wanted to tear him apart. And then when you got sick, all I wanted to do was take care of you, protect you. But I didn't know how to do that without making myself vulnerable."

He clears his throat. “I know I apologized, then, but it wasn’t enough. Do you remember what you said before I apologized for not being there? You blamed yourself. You said, please don’t be angry with me. ”

Your shoulders slump. You don’t remember that moment, not clearly, at least. You only remember vomiting and crying before falling asleep in Satoru’s arms.

“And I kept being a fucking idiot over and over after that. Even when we were with Suguru, when everything felt good. I was in love with you and fucked you over so many times because I was stupid and jealous and didn’t know what to do with my feelings. And I’m so, so fucking sorry.”

He expects you to be on the brink of tears, but you let out a sigh of exhaustion. His heart beats frantically, half-expecting you to leave him right then and there. But you don’t. You stand there and you say nothing.

“There were so many times that your selflessness just — fucked me up. I knew I didn’t deserve you but I kept wanting you anyway, and you kept letting me in. It wasn’t fair. If I—” he pauses, inhaling sharply, “If I ever treat you like that again, I want you to knock the daylights out of me. No infinity, I swear.”

Your neutral expression cracks. You laugh.

You… laugh?

Your laughter catches Satoru off guard, his brow furrowing in confusion. But as the sound fills the room, you feel something inside you begin to unravel. Years of pent-up tension and hurt start to dissolve, replaced by a bittersweet catharsis.

“God, I put up with so much of your bullshit,” you exhale, your laughter subsiding. Satoru looks at you with caution as if you’re a wild animal. He can’t tell if you’re livid or not.

“Yeah, you did,” he says quietly. “And you shouldn’t have.”

“I guess that’s why I went to Kyoto.” You sink back to the couch, your expression calmer now. 

Satoru doesn’t know what to say. Neither do you. Silence ensues for an uncomfortable amount of time before you speak up again.

“You know,” you sigh. “I wasn’t… completely blameless in all of this either.”

Satoru’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “What do you mean?”

You take a deep breath, gathering your thoughts. "I... I played games too, Satoru. Maybe not as obviously as you did, but I wasn't always honest about my feelings."

You remember the nights you'd spent with Suguru, knowing full well that it would hurt Satoru. He wasn’t entitled to you, of course, but there were times you’d deliberately leave him out when you were pissed off with him. Times you'd deliberately ignore his texts or calls, relishing in the power it gave you.

"I was selfish, sometimes," you admit, your voice cracking slightly. "Especially with Suguru. I wanted both of you, in different ways, and I couldn't bring myself to choose. I mean, I know I didn’t have to choose – we loved each other, right?”

He nods, face flickering with emotions you can’t decipher. Neither of you had talked about Suguru in so long. It almost felt taboo.

“I didn’t know how to be in love with you both and healthily navigate it all. So I just... let things spiral out of control."

You pause, gathering your courage for your next words. "I knew how complicated things were between the three of us, but I kept playing both sides. I'd comfort him when you two fought, knowing it would drive a wedge between you. And when everything fell apart with Suguru, I... I blamed you. It was easier than admitting my own role in the mess we'd created."

Satoru listens intently, his eyes never leaving your face.

“It was immature of me to basically ghost you after I went back to Kyoto. I wanted space, but I just… cut you off instead of having a conversation with you.”

“I deserved it,” he mutters.

“Even if you did, there was no reason for me to isolate myself and not talk to you for six months. I wanted to be more independent but I just pushed away the person that loves me most. I’m sorry.”

Satoru reaches out, hesitantly taking your hand in his. His touch is warm, familiar, and you find yourself leaning into it despite your reservations. His thumb traces gentle circles on the back of your hand, his touch a soothing counterpoint to the tumultuous emotions swirling between you. The soft glow of the television casts dancing shadows across his face, highlighting the vulnerability in his eyes.

"I’ve missed you so much," he says softly. "But I think... I think maybe we needed that time apart to grow. To figure out who we are without each other."

You nod, a lump forming in your throat. "I think you're right. Being in Kyoto, as much as I hated it sometimes, it forced me to confront a lot of things about myself. About what I want, and who I want to be."

Satoru shifts closer, his knee brushing against yours. "And who is that? Who do you want to be?"

You take a deep breath, considering your words carefully. "Someone stronger. More independent. Someone who doesn't lose herself in other people's expectations or desires."

A small smile tugs at the corners of Satoru's mouth. "You've always been strong. But I understand what you mean. I think... I think I needed to learn how to be on my own too. To be responsible for someone other than myself."

His gaze drifts towards the hallway, where Megumi and Tsumiki's rooms lie silent and dark. "Taking care of the kids, it's changed me. Made me realize how selfish I've been in the past. I used to think I was invincible. That nothing could touch me, that I could do whatever I wanted without consequences. But seeing how vulnerable they are, how much they depend on me... it's terrifying. And humbling."

“I’ll admit you’ve… grown a lot since I’ve come back. You’re different.”

“Different?” Satoru chuckles softly. “You mean less of an asshole?”

You can't help but smile. "Well, yes. But also more... I don't know. Present? Like you're really here, not just putting on a show. You’re still a cocky little shit, though.”

“It’s the Gojo blood,” he deadpans. You exhale out a laugh.

A comfortable silence falls between you, filled with the quiet hum of the television and the distant sounds of the city outside. You find yourself leaning into Satoru's warmth, your head resting on his shoulder.

“So… what now?” you mumble. Satoru's arm wraps around you, pulling you closer.

"I don't know," he admits. "But I know I want you in my life. In whatever way you're comfortable with."

“Me too,” you nod.

Silence washes over the both of you again, though you have no qualms about it. You bask in his warmth and the beat of his heart. His hand rubs your thigh gently, tantalizingly. You glance at him, amused when he looks back at you innocently.

“We're still not having sex tonight,” you say matter-of-factly.

“Damn it.”