#and that this is just my *current* interpretation of fondly watching her as I've grown up but refusing to participate in fandom until now

[eleventhsister]

(firstly, sorry for the wall of text. I got excited and this kinda got away from me.)

That is my general take on her character as well, I believe.

I see Barriss as a perfectionist who is greatly dedicated to her moral compass, focused on knowledge/logical efforts, and using it for good. However, she is challenged by the horrors of war and her active role as a soldier in it. She is someone who believes in diplomacy and avoiding violent confrontation as long as possible but becomes surrounded by violence and aggression on a near-constant basis. I see her as a pacifist but she is willing and able to defend others the moment it is called for.

I see her as a very introspective, contemplative person. She thinks deeply about everything. This helps play well into the traditional teachings she receives, but suddenly being introduced to other methodologies and the juxtaposition of war causes her to become a bit lost in her head. I imagine the constant switching between being thrown into battle and then getting quiet alone time afterwards takes a toll on her mental state as well.

(I also think that she probably struggles with the unfortunate trappings of being the 'gifted student' with extremely high expectations placed on her. That she is not only motivated by her strong sense of morality, but to also always perform well and please those, especially those in charge/higher ranking, around her. She pushes herself hard and places a lot of expectations on herself.)

Being a soldier also directly contrasts with her role as a healer. She not only experiences the traumas of war as a pawn, but also the effects on life, and the lives and minds of those she heals. As she spends time healing others in the Temple after Geonosis the first time, she struggles with the pain of it all. She is empathetic, and the pain of those under her care and the knowledge that she cannot heal their minds takes a great toll on her. (I also like to believe that she was inducted to the Circle of Jedi Healers after her mission to Drongar like in Legends.)

And maybe seeing the political aspects of the Senate continuously pushing more towards violence and war, and how the Order continues to become so entangled in it guides her thoughts. Peaceful, diplomatic solutions seem to get brushed off without any sense of serious consideration the longer the war goes on.

I think all this helps nurture her belief that the Jedi have become aggressors corrupted by the dark side, fallen so far from their guiding principles, eventually beginning to believe that the Order will only seriously listen to violence anymore. The Jedi were supposed to stand for peace, diplomacy, and settle conflict first and foremost, which significantly contrasts with the active role of being a soldier and military leader in charge of essentially conducting the war. Her issue was more with the Order, where they had guided all the members under it, and not with the Jedi themselves.

I see that her ultimate problem is that she cares so much for doing what is right and cares so deeply for the people of the galaxy, as well as the Jedi's role as apolitical peacekeepers and diplomats. Instead, they had become too embroiled in the politics of the Republic, becoming pawns in the upcoming fall of the Republic into darkness.

And like many who succumb to the dark side, this intense focus on something rightful and good leads her down a path of dark choices (for the right reasons). She was never a bad person. She was simply conflicted and wanted to perform the role she was always supposed to as a Jedi, and a more consular-focused Jedi at that.

She does what she ultimately does. She has time to reflect on her actions in prison (and during her training/time as an inquisitor). She begins to think on what it is she has done and grapples with it. I also think she is primarily driven by the innate need to live through her through her time in the Inquisitorius. She is lost, broken down, and on autopilot more or less. She wants nothing but to escape when she gets the opportunity to do so and return to the Jedi role she always believed in.

After running away, she dedicates her life to helping the people of the galaxy, partly because that is what she always believes to be right, but also perhaps because she is partly haunted by and driven by guilt. I think she would be at odds with herself, hating herself for what she had done.

After some time, she eventually finds peace and balance in herself, connecting fully with the Force and allowing herself to become the ideal Jedi she was always supposed to be. She dedicates herself fully to helping people, especially as a healer, and swears away combat (until there is no other option left, and she must protect an innocent).

Basically, I see her as a morally driven person who is dedicated to peace and protecting the galaxy. However, she becomes traumatized and conflicted by the war and is forced to be a warrior. She only believes that what she ultimately does is right, just, and aligned with the greater good—until she realizes that she made a mistake and seeks to make up for it, finally taking on the altruistic Jedi archetype she always believed in.

Oh man, I feel you on the Medstar books. And I, too, love to work them into my fics as often as possible. That and The Approaching Storm for good measure. It's also important that she was at Umbara.

Now that I finished the Medstar books later night, I just borrowed The Approaching Storm and plan on digging in to it!

I've been wanting to weave in the Umbaran Campaign into my story in some way beyond a simple mention, but I'm kind of stuck with no ideas on it rn unfortunately.

I wouldn't be surprised if they retcon it completely, but I also want to add her imprisonment on Felucia and subsequent rescue by Aayla shortly after her Knighting (since it's still considered to be canon in some way?). Of course the Legends story of it doesn't match with canon in any significant way so I would make major changes to it so it could fit into the timeline properly, but I feel like it could be a major turning point for her mentally—like the final nail in the coffin (or close to it) leading up to the Temple plot.

I have a lot of ideas and I really want to start writing it out, but at the same time I'm overly worried about characterization and it's completely stopping any progress. I really want to talk through my ideas before I work on it, but I don't really know anyone to talk to here other than my friend (who I assume would be willing to listen but she doesn't really know Barriss beyond looking over my shoulder while I was crying over TOTE).

Idk it's just super important to me that I do it well bc I love her character so much and I want to do right by her especially when she is so misunderstood