#and that isn't their fault. At all. They ARE complex topics and dark stuff

[shanie]

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[some-pers0n]

Really liked the previous abnormal psychology post, do you have anything to say about intrusive thoughts (and how people tend to misuse that term (and how they aren't only about violence because that's the only examples i have seen people talk about))

Ah but of course!

Intrusive thoughts are in this category where a lot of people use the term without really understanding the extent to which it means. People often conflate it with impulsive thoughts or fantasies, wherein a person will have an urge to do something reckless but enjoy it. This could be something like dying your hair, making a really mean comeback to that one annoying coworker, jumping in a lake, or even something more aggressive like pushing over a baby stroller. They're thoughts that people have at random but enjoy the thought of them, even if they're a little dark. Fantasies in particular can cross over into the whole desire aspect of what a person would want, which mehhh I don't really wanna get too into since this is about intrusive thoughts

Intrusive thoughts on the other hand are unwanted thoughts of any kind. They're thoughts that bring the person stress, anxiety, etc and etc. These can be anything really, but most of the time it can be anything like these

Suicidal ideation and or self harm

Being SA'd or SA'ing someone else

Homicidal or aggression towards innocents

Fear of social ostriziation

Random imagery that's just generally disturbing

Public humiliation

Philia-related (ex: SA'ing a child, animal, corpse, etc)

Mind readers or someone potentially observing your thoughts

Believing that something that happened to another was actually your fault and you're to blame for it all

Religious-related fears

Scrutinizing your identity (gender, sexuality, etc)

World-ending catastrophes

These thoughts aren't exactly a representation of who you are nor your "secret desires" like say fantasies. I want to make a distinction between that. Intrusive thoughts are disturbing and can oftentimes cause stress and anxiety

This can manifest in disorders like OCD, where to combat these intrusive thoughts (obsessions) they do these things that..don't really work (compulsions).

Here's a list of some common compulsions as well lol

Interrogation of self, like asking yourself whether you actually want to do any of those things or whether you feel rightfully repulsed by them

Checking and recounting things in case if someone had stolen anything or something bad will happen if it isn't quite right

Asking for reassurance from peers

Routines and "rituals", like how a person may have to watch a certain video in order for them to sleep

Doing somethings over and over, like washing your hand 4 times because 4 just "feels right" enough to get whatever the hell is on your hands off

Compulsions don't have to be logical or rational. Sometimes they're just stuff like "I need to flick the lights of my room on and off seventeen times or else my parents will die and go to hell". It's just whether or not it makes sense and has the person feel as though it works

Either way, intrusive thoughts are an infinitely complex topic that most people don't really wanna talk about because they're exposing. I know damn well I don't really wanna share mine. It's not really until they're less demonized and misunderstood that people can really talk about them

Intrusive thoughts make sense for why people who don't get them are reaaallly off put by them, but it's still irritating. Like I get why a well-adjusted person would be spooked by hearing that someone they care about has these thoughts, but it's still...gewhhhghhhhh y'know?

Like c'mon. Thoughts are not really indicative of a person's core. Your brain is going a mile a minute. Sometimes the train of thought just spits out the worst thing known to man and you just kinda gotta live with it knowing that it's not really you, but some subconscious part of your brain that's like "god wouldn't it be so fucked up if that happened?" It feels even more isolating honestly since not only do you feel like a freak and horrible person, but you can't really vocalize it unless it's in broad strokes and hushed tones. Ah well

Either way, intrusive thoughts and disorders connected to them are pretty complex. Again, highly recommend checking them out and researching them more if you wanna

[horrorisunknowntoyou]

[Simon "Ghost" Riley x Wife!-Reader] Headcanons

A/n: my birthday is today! so I wrote this as a treat for myself. I been hella sick and unwell so yeah :) also there's a lack of fluff and domestic stuff so I'm here to provide! + Birthday stuff at the end! 🎂 🎉

TW// dark topics, mentioned of Simon's trauma and mental illness, It's like brief.

Song recommendations:

Somewhere Only We Know - Keane

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You been married to Ghost for a long time, hell the task force didn't even know you existed until later this year or so.

Your meeting with your husband's buddies/co-workers (?) was quite a pleasant suprised.

Captain price was a lovely fellow, very much the father figure of the group. But he can be very cruel if need be.

Soap was.... interesting, you understand why your husband both love/hate the guy. But he was definitely fun to talk to. He was the most surprised to see you.

Gaz was a sweetheart, nice young man. Funny definitely. Didn't talk much.

Laswell was nice, she seem like the cool aunt type to drink wine or something.

But they definitely were surprised at the revelation that Ghost was married. Which isn't surprising considering the type of man he is.

(also you definitely showed the team your guys wedding photos/videos much to Ghost's protest.)

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But speaking of marriage, you been married to Ghost for around 5ish years. You met him by chance during an errand. It was really cliche, you accidentally bumped into him. And he was very awkward, and kinda stood their staring at you. You just laughed it off.

In some sense, you two were polar opposites that was interchangeable. He was the moon and you were the sun, etc. You balance each other out.

Also if it isn't obvious, both of you have some sense of dark humor. His was more shitty dad jokes and yours was offensive ones or very niche references to stuff. *Cough." Tumblr "Cough."

Also considering your husband, you were used to his interest in the morbid or macabre. Of course you had to tell him to dial it down so it doesn't hurt him. Specifically his interest in live leak. Also cause you didn't want to see that.

You were also the only person who could properly calm him down, or deal with his anger issues. Reminding him, it's fine to take a step away to breathe. Of course in the beginning it was hard but, you learn to understand him well.

You knew his triggers, his traumas and fears, of course it took ALOT of time and trust for him to even tell you this. But he slowly open himself to you and vice versa.

Also one of his bad habits, be it anger issues, but he sometimes unintentionally gaslight you. You know it means no harm but sometimes it can get overwhelming or lead up to fights. He tries his best not to do it often.

He may not be a great person for comfort, mainly sitting besides you or awkward hugs. But it's obvious he tries his best and that's enough for you.

And he's very protective of you considering what he's been through.

He trained you to defend yourself and how to use a firearm in emergencies just in case. It helps put his minds in ease. But as mentioned earlier, due to his anger issues. He will have the urge to fight anyone who upsets you or hurts you. That's the only time you can't hold him back much to your pleas.

But at the same time, you, yourself is highly protective of him. Of course he's more then capable to defend himself afterall he's a highly experienced military man. Who's 6'4 and 200+ pounds, but even so you will protect him. After all you love him with all your heart. Of course being a civilian, there's not much you can do but you try. And I think that's enough for him.

Also both of you have this weird complex of "I'll put my life aside for my significant other." You both definitely need to work on it.

He also knows your triggers and issues, he doesn't fault you for it. Be it whatever you suffer from, he's always willing to help you, or at least something to lean on.

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Domestic life between the two of you is interesting.

First things first, Simon wears his mask even at home. He doesn't show his face often and you don't really mind it. As it just became part of him in some sense.

However he has to do face mask with you to make sure 1. His face is handled and cleaned, 2. To wash his masks and hoodies he wears. It makes you cringe at how dirty his mask are.

You two also sometimes play videogames, funny enough first person shooters. You suck at it though, your not terrible but Simon dies inside when your aim is shit. However you force Simon to play Just Dance with you so that's a win in your book!

Also chores between the two of your are planned out before hand so not much issues between that, but if you both are tired you just order out take out lol.

Also surprisingly, Simon's a really good cook he's just lazy or pretends to suck because he doesn't want soap to know. lol

You both have your own specialized mugs to drink tea or coffee in it.

Simon likes to play and brush your hair, it kinda calms him down. He sometimes braid it or style it. You have no idea why he knows how to do this but you ain't complaining.

Simon is also a HUGE sucker for cuddles, either be it sleeping or laying down in the couch. But specifically in bed he's either sleeping as if he's in a casket or he's holding you protectively around his arms. No in-between.

In the more colder months, even though you have your own hoodies, Ghost allows you to wear one his. It engulfs you and it's very comfortable to be in.

But you, you love spoiling Simon. It being some expensive knife he wanted or little charm to add on his weapon. The glee in his eyes make it worth it at times, especially the slight hints of red brushed on him. Of course you respect his boundaries and not overdo it.

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During Ghost's deployment he likes to keep a picture of you, either a simple picture within his pocket or a locket he hear around his neck.

Same goes for you, you mainly have a picture of him sleeping peacefully while watching TV as your wallpaper, You smile at it every time.

You also have a Polaroid that you keep on deck in your wallet. It has a little note on the back from Ghost. It's cute.

You even have your own version of his skull mask for you too wear, if you feel lonely when he's away weeks at a time.

He does worry his work will put you in harms way or affect you negativity. It plagues his mind and it makes it hard for him to sleep in his cot or wherever.

You do get lonely while he's away, but you manage it.

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+ [Birthday stuff!] Characters are ooc lmao

When it's your birthday, Simon is alot more soft around you. He truly does care about you, and thankful for you in his life.

You usually have a small birthday party at your guys house with the task force (and some people of your choosing ) Especially, by now you really grew accustomed to them and it felt like a family to you.

You knew the first time round, they definitely struggled, as it was a surprise party. And Soap and Ghost were arguing over the placement of the banner.

Price was absolutely tired but gaz and Laswell (+ her wife) kept you distracted so you didn't even notice much to his relief.

Eventually Ghost sort it out, much to Soap nagging.

And when gaz and others brought back you were surprised with a birthday party.

You were so happy, you almost cried at how sweet everyone is. You were so thankful for this.

You had alot of fun with everything, they absolutely tried, it was like birthday party mixed potluck. It was fun!

There was also a bunch of moments you remembered.

One, Soap got drunk lmao. After the pinatas in which Gaz got most of the candy in his sweater, Soap starting doing some karaoke thing. He was singing California girls. The best thing though, you recorded it and you can see in video Ghost giving him a death stare.

You and Gaz did rock, paper, scissors over shots. You don't drink but it was fun till price like any father figure immediately stops it before it goes out of hand.

Also did you guys get a bounce castle knowing very well you all are grown adults? Yes.

You have alot of videos of it, mainly ghost and soap wrestling each other in the castle. Even though ghost refused to at first but soap pissed him off lol.

Laswell and price mainly stated out there.

You however joined in, and almost gave Ghost a heart attack when you grapped the roof part of the bouncy castle and got lifted up. He immediately pulled you down.

Gaz was the kid who mainly stated in the corner on his phone. But he did join in for a couple of games.

After that mess, you guys did the birthday cake. It was you favorite cake with white candles. And you say at the center of the table, and smiled.

They sang happy birthday and you blew out your candles.

Opening presents was a mess, you had alot of presents, that you didn't expect. Ghost obviously gave them tips what to get you.

You have alot of photos/videos of you opening the gifts.

Overall it was a really fun! You were the second person to fall asleep. Soap was asleep on the couch, you fell asleep on the recliner hidden in a hoodie.

Gaz fell asleep on two party chairs like it was normal. The rest either left or talked.

Overall you had a really fun night.

Also Ghost definitely teased you the next day over the stupid shit you did. But he's happy you enjoyed it.