#and that bitch don't care who you are where you from skin color or gender identity

[lokisasylum]

May every evil thing antis wish upon Jimin bounce straight back to them, their families and their faves a tenfold. Amen.🧿⚔️

And especially the armys ignoring the hate or saying he deserves it over a dog and a trashkooker cosplaying to set him up.

[exeggcute]

well it's been almost six months which I think is long enough to break my posting embargo, so, uh: guess what! I got liposuction lol. specifically hip/thigh lipo to quell some pretty wicked dysphoria that stemmed from having such a feminine silhouette… and I have to say I'm really, really pleased with the results.

tbh my initial plan was to keep things under wraps for good which is why I haven't said anything about it yet (and even as I'm typing this up I keep debating whether to post it or trash it)—partly because I was/am worried people might Act Weird about it and partly because I get a little embarrassed talking about bodygendershit in general. but here we are. one reason I do feel compelled to finally share, other than being super happy about how everything went, is that I haven't encountered a lot of discussions about body sculpting as a possible avenue of gender-affirming care (although, to be fair, maybe I just haven't been looking in the right places) and I figured at least one person out there would be interested to learn about what I did and where I've ended up so far.

anyway. pics/details under the cut—nothing even remotely risqué (or yucky), I just know that body image stuff is fraught + not everyone is eager to hear surgery talk.

to be precise: I got tumescent liposuction of the inner and outer thigh, plus this ultrasound thing to help the skin shrink. a different surgeon who I consulted (but ultimately did not go with for a number of reasons) said that even if I got the results I wanted from lipo, which he claimed was unlikely, the affected skin would look loose/baggy/weird forever... and that surgeon was wrong on both counts lol. my elasticity was great bitch!!!!

they didn't take out that much fat overall, only eight pounds or so, but it's way more about the Where than the How Much. my actual surgeon (who kicks ass btw) said lipo isn't that great for weight loss per se, and what it's really good for is sculpting targeted areas—so basically exactly what I did. six months post-op I actually weigh about the same as what I did pre-op, but the distribution has held steady; more weight goes to my stomach now and less, proportionally, goes to my hips since there are fewer fat cells in that area now. so my silhouette retains its new shape!

the overall change is admittedly on the subtle side, since I'm pretty short and have wide hip bones (and you can't change your literal skeleton) but it's still gone a looooooong way. the main thing I requested from my surgeon was "I want to fit in men's pants" and boy did he deliver.

also a good place to note that if you're in the las vegas area looking for a plastic and/or cosmetic surgeon—this guy is board-certified in both btw—then I absolutely have the guy for you. feel free to DM me for details. lipo is clearly his specialty (and it shows!) but he also does a lot of breast revisions/mastopexy (i.e., fixing implants that other surgeons did a bad job putting in), regular implants, and face work (particularly facial feminization surgery). one thing that sold me on this guy was an enthusiastic yelp review from a local stripper who said he hid the incisions for her breast lift in her armpits so none of her clients would notice that she'd had work done... a true master of his craft

okay you've scrolled enough so I'll give you what you're here for lol. I don't have many pre-op pics because I was obviously unhappy with how I looked and was not taking full-body selfies on a regular basis, but here's a few I took ~2 weeks beforehand:

these super thin men's joggers were my go-to dysphoria pants, to the point where I bought five pairs in different colors, but now they're so baggy on me that they have the opposite effect and make it look like I have wider hips than I do. so I retired them from my wardrobe...

...except not immediately because I had to wear compression garments 24/7 for the first three months post-op and these joggers were just loose enough to comfortably wear a medical girdle underneath them at all times, 110° degree temperatures be damned. (not that I was going out much for the first month since I was soooooooooooo fucking bruised and sore lol.) here's a few post-op pics in the same style pants:

(first pic is less than 24 hours post-op, about to go to my follow-up appointment, looking greasy as fuck because I wasn't allowed to shower yet; second pic two days post-op and also post-shower, thankfully; third pic is about a month post-op.)

so, like, CLEAR improvement already. I will not be posting pictures of my black-and-blue-and-swollen-all-over legs but considering how puffy I was from getting internally pummeled with a cannula it's wild that I still saw improvement literally as soon as I came home.

recovery was obviously not a blast in the moment but I got off easy, all things considered. I was supposed to get drains put in and was Not looking forward to that at all lol. the first thing I asked when I woke up after surgery was "how many drains?" because they weren't sure if I'd end up needing two or four, but it turned out the answer was zero. no drains!!!

I did have to lie with my feet elevated for the first two weeks straight, and had major bruising that receded over the first month (you could barely see my regular skin underneath all the mottled spots), but little to no nerve pain, no weird complications, and I was more or less back to normal after six weeks. also noelle took very very good care of me and was brave about injecting me with blood thinners so I wouldn't get clots and die :)

when I went into it I was fully expecting to get huge vertical scars up and down the sides of my legs (and had made peace with it!) but instead I wound up with four tiny incisions like this, each less than two inches long:

what's totally crazy is that the scars are basically Gone now. like even when I'm trying to find them I struggle to locate the ones in the front. I joked to noelle that if someone did an autopsy on me they might not figure out that I'd had cosmetic surgery, especially since the skin on my thighs is back to its normal color and texture. (in this scenario I like to imagine that it's dana scully giving me the autopsy and I'm in an x-files plot where instead of regular lipo I got alien lipo and mulder figures it out purely by accident.)

with lipo it can take up to a year to see the full results but I already feel so much fucking better in my body that seeing old pre-op pics throws me for a loop. and I can absolutely wear men's pants now—pants for short and stocky men, to be fair, but actual regular men's pants and not exclusively Pants For Men With Huge Butts And Legs. which is the only style I could even hope to fit in before. and even then it was a stretch.

big pic dump of shitty mirror selfies taken over the last few months:

:)

(also I really debated sharing this one but I already included it in the yelp review I left my surgeon so fuck it: here's a tasteful before-and-after in my undies where you can see my bare legs for easier comparison. left pic is one week pre-op, right pic is about five months post-op. including it as a link instead of embedding it in the post in case your boss happens to be reading over your shoulder at this very moment. also this is the one and only time you will ever see me stripped down on tumblr dot com so don't get used to it lol.)

[sparkles-oflight]

I wasn't going to post this. I saw everyone jumping on the "let me tell you my emotional connection to joker out" train and I wasn't going to participate because.....well....my annoying ass already said everything there needs to be said through tags on random posts (I should really learn how to shut my mouth).

But now it's 4 am (thank you Rosa Linn, I can't say that seriously ever again), I'm having trouble sleeping since I'm not fully recovered from my cold, so, fuck it.

I'll go on a rant so... I'll add the little thing that "divides" the post so that is easier to skip

Ah....where to start...I could tell you how I started enjoying joker out but that's a wholeass post on itself...

So, I'm going to start with how I connect to each member.

Bojan, you were the one who "opened the doors" to me. Frontman doing his service. In Bojan I saw a lot about myself. I saw a guy who loves to make bad puns, who loves languages and brag about their multicultural knowledge. I saw a guy who can be awkward at times, who deal with anxiety problems... Who says they'll stay away from Social media and then proceeds to post the most unhinged things. I saw someone who likes to understand societies as well (please be my tutor, I really need to pass sociology this is year) and likes to fight stereotypes.

Kris told us Bojan's parents can be a bit more judgy and without going into a lot of details, I'll say I also understand that so much (I didn't want to bring sexuality into this, but even if Bojan turns out to be straight, I still relate to all the pressure is parents must put on him just because he goes against "the norm" in the Balkans).

Kris...my bitch.

(Jk jk, I love him a lot).

How do I start?

Kris and I honestly have a lot of common too. The whole "bullying for falling at being one gender" thing hits so close. I don't talk about my gender much but I currently identify as a enby/gender fluid. However, for most of my life I was terrified of failing as a girl.

I remember coming home and asking my mom why was I different from the other girls (NOT IN THE WAY YOU ARE THINKING, PLS, I'M QUITE LITERALLY JUST NOT A GIRL 😅) and she would reply stuff like "Of course you are like the others, you have a vagina like them" - this sounds so bad and it made me feel so much worse because it didn't provide me with an answer at all to the bullying I endured. I had short hair, liked "boyish" things and so I was called a boy (+I got transphobic comments too ✌🏽😙). I was never as close with the girls because of it and boys would also exclude me from being too close to them. I was in the middle and I had to change my personality countless times to fit my assigned gender.

Now that I'm in university, I finally figured myself out and it's so refreshing waking up to see myself with short hair again, with more "genderless" clothes, having no problems with my little "moustachio" and being able to appreciate what I see in the mirror... learning to love myself.

Kris as we know him identifies as a man. He, however, also learned how to break the gender stigma (AND THAT OUTFIT IS A FUCKING STATEMENT) and learned that having confidence in himself is all that matters. No matter how long your hair is, no matter how you dance or sing, no matter the color of your pants. Be yourself and be proud of you are is really what matters!

Jan....I actually don't have a lot to say (I think I wasted most my words with Kris), but just like Kris I also love how comfortable Jan feels in himself and how little he seems to care about what others think. I love his sense of humor and his style. I love his voice and how sometimes he can get a little embarrassed off-stage...I would just really love to have him as a best friend honestly. He probably zones out instead of listening, but oh well 😅

Naceeeeee, my teddy bear. I also don't have the energy to dive too deep in the topic, but as someone who also struggled with body image issues, I'm so proud whenever Nace feels comfortable on his own skin. It's refreshing.

But obviously I gotta mention that post. It's kinda funny to me that he wrote that when I'm currently writing a story for my script class about how it is to live with divorced parents and how the feeling of belonging is something we strive for.

It's something I definitely struggled with all my life and it's getting worse as time goes on. It's so refreshing to see another person go through and talk about it and seeing that they reached the happy ending I'm also looking for...

Jure le chatton. You know I don't usually talk much about you because we know nothing about your life. However, that interview where you said you asked your mom why you were problematic, hit me hard. For a lot of reasons I have mentioned before, but also because I'm considered problematic by both my parents. I don't want to get into many details... It's 4m after all.

There's one thing I was going to mention on Bojan's part, but I figured it would fit the whole band.

I really really am looking up to these guys. They are around my age and they have done so much already. I have been stuck in the past couple of years due to my depression - and realistically I never thought of actually turning 18, let alone 20 - and seeing how much they worked hard makes me want to work hard myself. I haven't been able to, but hopefully I will...

Also, everyday I have been waking up in a good mood knowing I have met some incredible people thanks to this fandom and the boys! Like, excuse people actually care about what I write, what???? 😅

It's been a great experience so far. Let's see what this will bring me in the future :)

[xnchxntmxnt]

OMG HAPPY 2OO LUV!! ILYSM, AND YOU DEFINITELY DESERVE MORE!! AS EXPECTED I'M HERE FOR THE MATCHUP EVENT AND I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE KSDJFHSDF

1 | name : amie 2 | pronouns : s/her 3 | preferred gender : doesn't really matter 4 | self-description :

— it's ya clown sho <3 anyway, i'm an ambivert but more inclined towards the introvert side. my MBTI is INFJ and i'm a Gemini. i'd describe myself as someone who's very observant? yea, i guess. i'm awkward and you know it. My favorite color is blue, specifically sapphire, but i love all pastel colors. My fav show is Chicago Medical and all the psychological and crime thrillers out there are my favorite ( silent patient is my #1 though ) I love painting, playing piano and basketball!

— what i look in a partner you ask, uh, someone who can tolerate my silence. there are times when i go quiet for a whole day, i'll barely speak, no interaction nothing. i want someone who'd not exactly 'deal with it' but 'understand it.' also, i want someone who i can talk to without any hesitation. i have a hard time opening up so i don't do it but when i do, i spill almost everything. i might cry, might have anxiety attack, i might even shout. i know it's not very healthy but i want someone who can help me with those. plus someone who i can read with please <3 cheating and not having any respect for personal space would be the major deal breaker for me

5 | gen. aesthetic : my fashion sense starts from sweats and ends in sweats. i'm a big fan of those oversized hoodies and shirts, like something really comfy. however, i do have a collection of formal wears like blazers and dress.

6 | color/s to describe myself : red, actually. if not read then blue. it switchers but red 90% of the times.

7 | fav song/s : literally everything by Chase Atlantic and The Neighborhood. However, my absolute favorites are some of the famous classical pieces like Experience by Ludovico Einaudi and Chopin's Ballade No. 1 Op 23.

8 | fav genre of music : classical music ( Beethoven, Einaudi and Chopin own my heart )

Lol this is very lengthy I'm sorry, btw congrats again!

I looked into MBTI, I looked into zodiacs, I went off of what you said

Here he is, the man, Seijoh’s do-it-all guy

HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO ur new boyfriend

There is not enough content for him, anyway

How You Met

Bear with me here

Think about this

Artist!hanamaki

You love painting? Art club.

Idk if youre actually in any art club but shhh

Anyway, it was probably some sort of community thing full of tons of different age artists (bc you’d have basketball or something after school and he had volleyball)

So like once a week on thursday afternoons everyone gets together and does all sorts of artsy stuff

Everyone listens to lo fi music (or you can bring headphones) and chit chat and just paint for a couple hours

Its in the back section of a library (bc the library near me does stuff like this its awesome) so if you want you can go read a book while you wait for things to dry

One day the person that ran it suggested you talked to the new guy

He was about your age, it was his first day, they didn't know what all he was good at, and tbh they thought you two would look cute together

Just the vibes yk

So you set up your canvas and stuff next to him and introduced yourself

And you guys just vibe to the playlist

He’s REALLY good

Compliments you a lot too

Which is fun because he’s cute so it makes you a little flustered

You find out you guys go to the same school and he’s on the VB team

And says he has a (practice) game that weekend and asks you to come if you can

Which you do

And they win! So its fun!

Matsukawa basically asks you out for him though

He’s heard all about you already

“You don't get it issei! She’s so pretty!! God, she touched my hand and I thought I was gonna die!!!!!” “the enthusiasm is new for you” “shut up asshole” (conversation from the night before)

So he walks up to you after the game and is like “Hey so,,, we’re going out to get some lunch, you wanna come?”

Makki thinks HES flirting with you and is pissed off about it

Until you all sit down for lunch and oh, the only open spot for him is next to you (since when is matsukawa willing to sit between iwaizumi and oikawa??)

He asked you out after art club that week (Mattsun threatened not to give him any more monster for the rest of the month if he didn't get the guts to do it)

General Headcanons

You date hanamaki, you're also dating matsukawa

There’s no separating them (good thing ur MBTIs work together too, especially for strong friendships)

This was literally my first thought

So

Good luck with both these trolls

More on that later

Of course he’s going to be worried if you go radio silent for a while, but he'll understand

There are some days he’s not gonna wanna talk either

He’s really supportive on your bad days of course

Expect a random text in the middle of the evening from him

“Hiya sweetheart, just wanted to remind you that you’re beautiful, I love you, and I hope your day is going well.”

When he’s having a bad day, the same thing is all he needs from you to keep moving

He’s a really honest person. If you want to talk to him, be prepared not to get any sugar coating. If you tell him to shut up because you don’t want advice, he will. But if you expect advice from him, expect brutally honest advice. Subtlety is not his strong suit, so when it comes to advice, he’s going to tell it like it is. He's just trying to help, yknow?

However, he’s pretty good with people, so will know how to comfort you when something is bothering you. Tea and cuddles? Gotcha. Dancing at 11pm because neither of you want to sleep yet? On it. You want him to hold you? Perfect.

He’s not like...the most touchy person? There are some things he’s really indifferent on, and other things he’s stubborn as hell with. Whatever you wanna do, though

His weakness though

⚠️this part is slightly little bit suggestive⚠️

He will randomly walk up to you and pull you against him, give you a really deep kiss, smirk and walk away like nothing happened

Like hands in hair probably almost making out and then just

Walk away

Because that’s how he kisses and it’s breathtaking every time

It’s either little temple kisses or forehead or cheek pecks or something

Or that

And probably leaves you flustered and it’s funny (to him) (and to me if I was there with you) (bc that would be funny)

Hmm I’m thinking

I’m thinking hair dye dates

He needs help doing his hair from time to time Y’know (he doesn’t he just likes spending time with you) and he wants to make it pink again

So he teaches you how to do his hair and even offers to dye yours one day

Either just a strand or the ends or everything, up to you

Imagine having twinning hair dye with makki isn’t that cute

I think it’s cute

I said ur platonically dating mattsun right

Yes you are now

He absolutely adores you and loves how much makki loves you

Probably would have asked you out if makki didn’t but he was really pushing for makki to because he was just all over you in the beginning

He wasn’t overly attached to you romantically so being friends? Perfect. Sounds great

You two get along wonderfully though like you act like siblings once you warm up to each other

Again, very brutally honest person, but a little more awkward so doesn’t know what he’s saying might come off as he’s acting like a dick

He doesn’t try to though and he does really care about you

Flat out told makki if he breaks up with you and breaks your heart he’s gonna kick his ass (makki doesn’t know he had the same (less aggressive) conversation with you)

Tbh all of the VBC at seijoh loves you

Oikawa loves talking to you he thinks you’re great for makki

Gets you in on he and makki and mattsun’s antics

Iwa thinks you’re good too he just doesn’t know you as well

I think that kunimi would like you (he was almost a runner up--)

Kindaichi too

The first years just think you’re cool even if they won’t say it out loud

Seijoh VBC loves you

You got mattsun’s approval

And hanamaki loves you with literally everything in his life

So

You’re pretty set with your strawberry baby huh

Date Night!

SLEEPOVERS

I was waiting for some matchup to come along that gave me sleepover vibes

In a perfect world where you could do sleepovers with your bf because most parents would,,,not let that happen

Imagine…

He shows up at like 7:00 after practice, pizza in hand because he picked up dinner

You two eat, chat about your day, he probably scarfs down half the pie bc it’s after practice ofc he’s hungry

So when you guys are done eating you head up to your room

And make pillow fort

It’s mandatory

Different design every time, but there’s a pillow fort nonetheless

And then when there’s just enough room for the both of you to climb in

You get a blanket and a couple pillows and one of your phones or laptops or whatever and watch a movie and cuddle

When the movie is over you guys break out the face masks

You ever wonder why he has such great skin? It’s thanks to you (or if you don’t have masks, he picks them up on the way home from practice)

But anyway you guys talk shit about people for a while and sit with the masks on (it’s usually him talking about how Oikawa is a bitch as much as he loves him) (or about whatever he and Mattsun were talking about lately)

You both get chances to vent while the masks sit on your face and you just vibe with music (usually that you pick) (he listens to like,,,meme songs and like CORPSE yk)

After masks you guys make/get some snacks and munch on those during another movie but this time you’re in comfy jammies and more relaxed Y’know

Less paying attention to the movie you’ve seen a million times and just vibing in each other’s presence and it’s just really sweet

Fall asleep on his chest

Let him fall asleep on yours

Either way, you’ve got him whipped for you he loves you

Not that he doesn’t already but that’s his favorite thing ever so please just let him do that

Always makes sure to tell you he loves you before you sleep too

If you fall asleep first he takes embarrassing pictures of you with your hair being a mess & you best bet he sends them to mattsun because “she’s so cute omfg” “dude” “dude what” “you’re so fuckin stupid” “?” “Whatever—good luck being whipped just tell me when you need to get a ring, k” “you’re such a jackass” “yeah yeah Gnight”

Zodiac/MBTI

Okay so I’m not doing a big long paragraph for all this BUT from what I understand, Gemini/Aquarius are really compatible, and ENTP and INFJ are known as “perfect matches” sO (I had a really hard time deciding between Atsumu and Makki because they're both ENTP)

Psst Gemini + Leo is compatible and so is INTP + INFJ,,,, so, again, asking you to marry me sho 💍💍

Aesthetic/Vibes

Playlist

Prelude and Fugue No. 1 in C major, BWV 846

Linus and Lucy by Vince Guaraldi Trio (meme song)

Sky Full Of Stars by The Piano Guys

Someone To You by The Piano Guys

Shut Up And Dance - Simply Three

Runners Up

Miya Atsumu, Tsukishima Kei

[santaclausdeadindian]

Whining, huh?

Sure. For sure, really. You totally didn't prove me right at all.

I had no idea there was so many subgenres of fantasy, to me, it's sword + magic, and made up locations. That's why the scattershot of examples.

I haven't read any Conan stories since I was a kid, but it never once came off me as racist, even though the man clearly was, apparently. To me there was Conan, the kimmerian, who was just better than everyone else, mostly because of his muscles and because he was a barbarian, who didn't give a single shit about anything. Well, I guess rugged individualism is white supremacy, so I guess I gotta give that to you. I do remember one story where he was saved by his black friend from imminent death, or where he was saved by revolting slaves but I guess we all see shit into what we read. I'm from central europe, we care about which country you are from, not your skin color.

Now that you mention it, there is some painful contortions and torture in the Wheel of time books, I still only read I think 4 or 5 and not even in the correct order, so that part I don't argue, but to say that it's "about guys who can’t handle powerful women and how strong women Gotta Be Tamed by the mighty dick" is really fucking stupid in my opinion. The whole world is set up as a way more matriarchal than ours, men are the ones who can't handle the power, and need to be tamed, the most powerful people in the world are almost all women and those who aren't are either evil or going insane and will be. How the fuck did you get your conclusion? Yeah, I guess like three chicks are into Rand. There's the classic woman pines after the rugged, solemn man, who is too tragic to be in love with her with Lan and Nynaeve, if you are willfully ignore their power dynamic, or that he is essentially a slave. Like how is that series is a power fantasy to men? I mean for me, sure, I don't mind a powerful woman pegging me, but I'm the minority.

You are also dead wrong about Martin, although admittedly he botched the Dothraki somewhat, mostly in the military sense, but he is just not good at that. But if you read the books and not going on by the show, you should know that about half of essos is white and also enslaved. It does go on about the decadence of slaver societies, buddy, the inhumanity of it that does not care about skin color. There is also specific mention of slave revolts, the end of Valyria is likely a result of one, the Faceless men are a sect coming from slaves and Braavos, the probably most powerful entity on the continent has been doing it's best for centuries to stop slavery. Those decadent societies? Half of them are as white as Dany. The northern part of the continent, which is mostly follows the Faith of the Seven, a decidedly non christian, more philosophical faith considers it an abomination, while the defiently more Abrahamic type Red God faith openly and widely practices it. It is also pretty clear that most of these slaver societies won't survive the coming apocalypse, exactly because of the already brewing slave revolts. Then there's Dorne, which is racially diverse, way more gender-equal, because of the Rhoynar, who are about as white as your average indian.

But you are right, Dany is white, fuck that bitch, who was sold like fucking cattle at the very beginning of the story. What a Karen.

I also find it hillarious how apparently the one guy that you consider good, is the one with a helluva lot of unfortunate implications, regarding the handling of races.

Btw, originally, my butting in on you two gleefully agreeing how terrible some (white male) fantasy writers are, because I never in my life read anything that blatantly bad, not from my four examples at least, nothing to do with whatever hangups you have, just the blank ass, cardboard cut out writing style. Like I knew that Lovecraft was xenophobic as shit, that was obvious even back then when I read him, but he still could create one hell of an athmosphere. I only found out about the racism later, wasn't surprised, but never caught on it from his writing.

no one: white male fantasy authors who didn’t deserve to be canonized: The market was unlike anything he had ever seen before. There were people wearing hats and most people’s clothes were dyed. Some of the stalls had livestock for sale, while others sold food that, by the look and smell of it, was neither mushy nor flavorless. The women looked like they wanted to fuck him, and the men had brown skin. There wasn’t a Pound Sterling anywhere in sight. Somewhere nearby, someone was playing an instrument. His senses couldn’t take it all in.