#and that I'll be able to go cuz he's gonna add one in my state

[beatlebug987]

Is it bad that I've subconsciously convinced myself I'll be able to go to Found Heaven On Tour?

[fatuismooches]

*you feel a terrifying presence enter the room*

i don’t know if you’ve heard about goodbye, eri by tatsuki fujimoto, but your fragile reader concept just reminded me of that.

in the manga, the main character is recording all his moments with his bestfriend, eri. he’s using his phone to save all the good times he’s ever had with her, because eri has a sickness. over the months her sickness worsens and he keeps recording these memories of eri on his camera/phone. in the last video, he’s shown recording eri in a hospital bed. by the end of the whole recording, he says “goodbye, eri.”

I couldn’t help but imagine fragile reader and dottore in this, they eerily reminded me of goodbye, eri. like what if zandik made a device to record all your interactions together only to end up having videos of you from centuries ago, with you now being in a comatose state and he, no longer able to make new memories with you. having only recordings left of you in a device.

throughout the manga, eri is always shown to be happy in the clips shown of her. she stayed positive even in her final hours. so imagine fragile reader trying to keep zandik hopeful for their recovery all whilst deteriorating in front of him.

the rest of the novel is silly, but the beginning of it is so sad. bro after eri dies the main character started to spiral. he even has to record his moms death.

Sorry for the small synopsis about the manga itself.. it’s really beautiful and I felt like your fragile reader concept was similar to it - just without all the modern stuff.. :,)

*my body quivers at this sudden presence*

LORD... alright so i decided to go read it because you had me intrigued and i also like some of fujimoto's other works and WOW... I had to keep pausing while reading cuz omfg… you weren’t joking that was SAD. The way my heart dropped at the vampire doesn’t have long left to live… and afraid of being forgotten… I JUST KNEW SOMETHING BAD WAS GONNA HAPPEN UGHHHH!! “The rest of it was silly” NO IT WASNT?!?!? I MEAN SOME OF IT WAS BUT STILL. and that ending. i had no idea that would happen. But yeah very fragile reader and Dottore core 😞

I imagine fragile reader is also scared of being forgotten, whether they're alive or dead. Though obviously, it's not very logical, they're scared that one day, Dottore would wake up and simply not care about them anymore. Or if they die, he would forget them and all the memories shared would be for nothing. He's the only person in all of Teyvat who remembers you and your past, so if he forgets, then it's as if you never existed at all. It's cruel to imagine. Although it hurts, you always try to hide your pain, whether it's your thoughts or your actual condition, from Dottore. You don't want to burden him with your feelings. You should be able to handle them yourself, you think. Dottore has so much on his plate too after all, you can deal with your problems by yourself. So... you'll just keep smiling even when it hurts to do so.

AND YEAHHHH i love that idea so much ❤️ my moot Kai made a similar brainrot a while ago! I think it's sooo cute because the idea of him making a whole new invention just for us is so romantic <3 And i think you and Kai have already touched on all the possible angst for the recording device brainrot... so I'll add some fluff! In that manga, there are panels of Eri going to a few pretty places and having casual fun with Yuta. I like to imagine that after you wake up, and when you're finally able to go outside, the segments always make sure to record you at every new place you two go to. To add to the collection.

[latina4rmbx]

I Can Buy Myself Flowers...

Sometimes I need to figure my shit out. Sometimes I take so long to figure my shit out that it loses it's luster. I've been pondering this post for a bit and it's learned me a few things:

I need to charge my laptop. As I lay in bed, stroke of insight comes to me, but if I pick up my phone, I'm going straight to social media and there goes my insight. At least with my laptop I don't have social media embedded in any of the apps, I think, and I can get what I need to get off my chest.

I sometimes over/underestimate myself and it's to my own detriment

I was in an extreme emotional state yesterday with no real outlet. I had no reason to cry but I felt that ache or that hollow in my chest. I even asked a friend for a sad movie suggestion so I can get it out. I still haven't seen the movie

I know I've said this before, and I guess I will repeat it until I understand, you really don't realize the impact you make/have made on a persons life sometimes. If you're lucky, people will give you your flowers while you're still here

This is a great segue into the whole reason we're here...

Yesterday I posted a Meme that reads: Her: I ordered us new phone cases. The fucking phone cases (if I can add the pic here I will) then I wrote: Me as a GF. Let me just try to post this thing because 1. it was the catalyst and 2. I think it truly sums me up as a GF and 3. It's cute AF. Take in the entire post lol

An ex-boyfriend reaches out to me to make a joke about the phone cases.

His joke: "This was us but I had more ass than you."

In case you were wondering what my response was...this is the lead up to the crux of this AM post. From here on out I'm going to refer to him as Guy. Another person comes into play and I'll call them Man.

Me: But that's a real message I sent to a real man who probably has more ass than I do too 😂 I haven't checked it out enough. We haven't done sexy time yet 😃

Guy: Whaaaaaat (I didn't count the A's but there were quite a few)

Me: Stop it

Guy: This is real?! Not a drill ?!?

A little more chatting about Man

Guy: Ok well he gets you. That's important

Here is where the mood changes. Up to this point we were laughing, well Guy was laughing at my antics (because I be antic-ing)

Me: Well we don't see each other much cuz life be lifin' the shit out of us but it's good lol. Thanks for inquiring about the drills.

Side Note: He speaks to me in voice note after a bit so I'll have to transcribe. I'll do it verbatim but I KNOW I will cry.

Guy: Good speaking to you again. Instead of us, just sending funny videos to each other... Though I like that too.

Me: Thank you for being everything.

Me: I'm really lucky I met you Guy. I hope you know that. Good or bad you always have a special place in my heart

Guy: Can I say: Ditto. One day I'll be able to put into words what our time together has meant and always meant to me

Me: It's not necessary. I appreciate it anyway

Guy: Well I think people need to get their flowers!!!!

See the correlation to the title now?

Me: I do too & life is shorter than we realize.

Here's where his voice notes start. There are only 2 but each is about a min long so it may take some time (& Coffee) to transcribe. I did not respond to him in VN form. As a matter of fact the conversation between him and I's portion will end with my first response, then I'll move on to something else. It'll make sense

VN1: No, I I I mean that in all truthfulness. Uhm, people deserve their flowers cause you never know when somebody's gonna go or somebody saying I'm never going to talk to you ever again. So, No I wanted to always tell you thank you because I wasn't always uhm I dunno. I guess life gives you perspective once you get some distance and time. I'm not trying to speak deep or like philosophical. It's just one of those things where you know. I remember being young. I remember, you know, being infatuated with you and not knowing how to handle that and also not knowing how to handle when I had unfinished business or you know uhm. There were so many things I was learning on the fly. It's like flying a plane and fixing the wing while you're flying it. I should've just landed the plane and learned my lesson.

VN2: But even when I was flying the plane, so to speak, or hanging out with you uhm, I always wanted to thank you. I mean, you know, there were times that, you know, I really made you feel like shit and I'm sorry. And there's times there, you know, where you and I were at odds for whatever reason, and you know. I wasn't always great, you know. I learned a lot from you. I learned about forgiveness, and I learned about, you know, about how to truly love somebody or what to have when you truly love somebody. Or that so much, that that that our multiple interactions have taught me. From the beginning all the way to the last one. And it was so fun in a weird way to have you in my apartment that day when we were saying good bye to T. And that was kinda like uh, if this was a sitcom, and that was the last episode, it'd be a good one.

Me: The one where we said good bye

If you didn't get it, my response is a nod to ye olde show "Friends."

Here's where it gets interesting/sad, I was crying typing that response to Guy. However, I went to the counsel, which is 2 people. 1 who knows him and one who doesn't. I'm going to only share the conversation with the one who doesn't know him because it was sweet, our back and forth. For the sake of consistency they will be dubbed, C1 (LOL - is that consistent?). Ok, ok, Lady. She'll be dubbed Lady. As in, I spoke to the Lady

Me: Listen to this. It's my ex boyfriend & THIS made me cry.

Lady: Awww O

Me: You know how you feel like you didn't mean anything to someone and then you find out you meant everything. This did it for me. Bad timing. But when the timing was right...It was too late. He broke up with his GF and I had broken up with *CENSORED*. We were ripe for the picking but it didn't feel...the same.

Lady: Yes I now the feeling

Lady: At least you now know you meant something big to him

Me: Yeah. It's comforting

Me: I always wondered if I was doing love wrong

That's it. Not the end of the conversation but the point that he was helping me with, without even being aware. I always wondered if I was doing love wrong. Craziness because some people never think of love in terms of something to consider or work on, it's just what they feel or do. But what does that mean? To feel love. What does it mean to DO love? You know.

Lady: I don't think you've ever done love wrong. Just was given to the wrong people at the wrong time because as a friend you are very loveable and you're giving, attentive

Me: Thank you

Me: I had to work on the friendship love too

Lady: No need to thank me for the truth

Me: I know I used to do friendship wrong

Lady: Well I'm glad I get the best of you ❤️❤️

That was literally the end of hers and I's conversation.

In the other conversation I mention feeling validated. I think this is the part that kept me up half the night. Why did I need him or anyone to validate me? Then it clicked, I value his opinion of me. He's one of the very few people who can tell me "O, it's not a good look." He does it with such a pure and true heart. It doesn't hurt when he's putting me in my place. Again, I'm speaking as a friend here, not as a lover. That ship has sailed a long time ago. Two years ago, when we reconnected through mutual heartbreak, solidified it.

We were GREAT as lovers and being in love but we're sooooo much better as champions for each other. We cheer each other one from the sidelines. I guess that's what happens when time and distance give us perspective.

Thank you readers for reading. I truly appreciate you taking any moment out of your day to read through my posts.

I can buy myself flowers...But why would I have to?

XOXO

Thanks for Reading

[boys-from-santacarla]

Note; I deeply apologize seeing as this is going to end up being long. Onto the information; My name is Ghost(mainly go by this one), Acid, Killer(more of a nickname), or Gore(more of a nickname). I go by he/they/xe/its, and I'm a dude, MLM and poly so it really doesn't matter much who it is. Born March 31st, being an Aries I'm a very loud and energetic person. I'm also very impulsive and get myself into deep shit, even if I don't realize I'm doin' it. I get overly loud when the topic is about something I enjoy or is into, if I try flirting on purpose it's ass but when I do it without realizing I get called a huge flirt. Big music and art geek, I have sketchbooks upon sketchbooks filled just sitting around in my room. I listen to a lot of rock like Queen, Guns N Roses, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, ACDC, Nickelback, KISS, Slipknot, KoRn, and on and on. Although I listen to every genre of music minus country(although there are few songs I can deal with). Big tattoo/piercing person, if you have one visible I will point it out and geek out about it. Although literally don't ask me to name a few songs unless I've been rambling on about it because I have the shittiest memory. I dye my hair so often it's surprising my hair is still healthy. I have literally bleached my hair, dyed it red and let that fade for a week, then dyed it blue and have been touching up the blue ever since then. If it wasn't due to money problems and the fact it's hard to borrow in my town my hair would probably have my hair a different color every two weeks. I ramble quite a bit and have the shittiest focus and memory, so you may have to pull me to the side and tell me to calm down. Would definitely compliment on the boys looks, specially their outfits. I'm a coffee and monster addict at this point, you'll see one or the other in my hand, and the occasional water bottle because I try to keep myself health. My love language is through touch and insulting people. Ex, "I fucking love you dumbass" or flipping you off playfully as a way of saying "i love you bitch". Smoking doesn't bother me, grew up around it my entire life. I love riding on motorcycles, no matter the weather, is it cold asf, nice idgaf, is it raining, shit lets go. I have a bad(good in some people's eyes) of using petnames/nicknames for everyone. Everyone has a wholesome petname from me and then I'll call them a whore or some shit. I cuss too much for my own good, I literally don't have a filter in my entire body. I will impulsively say shit, sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing. Due to my anxiety I try to stay away from large crowds, but if I'm in them (aka on the boardwalk) I will have music blaring in my ears and my ears glued into my current sketchbook. Although I currently don't have them, I'm going to add them anyways because I'm going to end up getting them when I have the money to go to a piercer or to get a kit. I want a shit ton of piercings. Such as snake bites(lip piercing), tongue, septum, all of the piercings finished on my ears, and bridge. I've stated once I'm a big tattoo geek, so I want a quite a bit of those. I'm definitely a big "oh let's do it myself" person, and I have tried giving myself a septum piercing. (it would've worked if it wasn't for the fact I did it too low to be able to flip it up to hide it) I love the adrenaline of fights, it doesn't matter if I win or loose, although I do prefer if I win. I literally get the most random urge to fight someone for the hell of it. Probably has something to do with impulsive thoughts and shit, but oh well. I'm a big respect person, I live by the motto "you respect me, I'll respect you". I have blackouts sometimes due to rage and anxiety, so I try to keep myself from having them. I have a bad habit of rambling and saying sorry too much. I tend to repeatedly say sorry whilst rambling as I tend to get overly excited and loud when I ramble. I'm a very talkive person if I know and trust you. If you're around me and you don't get your ear talked off or messed with, you're probably not liked or

you need to leave. It's one easy way you'll be able to tell if I get along with you or not. I kinda have a whatever/punk/alt style, a lot of time I just grab something decent and throw it on. Although you'll always see me wearing a belt and my platform shoes. I'm 5'0, so my obsession with platforms grew because of my need to be tall. I wear a lot of baggy clothing, I'm definitely more of a comfort over style person.

Ok, my dude, I'll definitely pair you with...

Marko and Paul

Oh, man, you three are gonna be some threesome (and not necessarily in the sexual way lol)

Just imagine THE MESS

The boys think you're adorable when you get into the romantic mood and try to flirt but end up saying bad pick-up lines, so they'll laugh, but will twirl their hair as whoerish as possible and follow the game. Or they would get on with their manly act and fight to see who will flirt back better.

Now, the chatting will be so goddamn long! You three will go on 4 hour-long conversations that'll get from a "look at this new t-shirt I got" to "so that's why Ronald Reagan was an alien". The worst part is left to the spectators like David or Dwayne since none of you three will be the sane individual and shut y'all up.

The blondes like your drawing, and ask you to draw them or random stuff and people CONSTANTLY, so you'll have many opportunities to improve your skills and try with different models. When they happen to find some of your sketchbooks, they try to impress you or simply give a small present by drawing you or something you like, or at least make the attempt since some of the "fine pieces" as they call them, they give you are like children's school projects.

And, man, about the hair, are you blessed to have the glam diva Paul by your side to give advice and constructive criticism to your hair. He will help you choose the color and will give it style from time to time if you accept. The process to dye it will be so much fun, and so chaotic; experimenting with the pigments ends up with wounds caused from the bleach and the currently used wardrobe disposed later.

A thing they love about you is that you can stand up for yourself if needed, but they rather you not to, because they know you handle yourself and the others well, maybe too well for your good. Paul tries to take care of you as much as he can so there is no need for you to possibly get hurt. It was enough trying to control Marko so he didn't get involved in some stupid street fight every night at the boardwalk to now have to worry daily about you too. Marko shares the passion for the adrenaline of this and will think it is hot as hell, but he protects you as much as Paul, maybe a bit softer than him about it tho, but if you're in the middle of a fight and it starts to get worse than expected, he dead ass will force you to back off. He'll finish the business himself, sweetheart.

As for your love language, don't worry, these dorks will accept you playful pushes with joy, and they'll give you some of them too. But if you accidentally flip and fall some meters before hitting ground, you know the rule: laugh first, help second.

Oh, and you better get prepared for the bullying. You're the smallest in the group, so that leads to a constant attack as a hobbit. Marko joins the quip, but I mean, he'll get humiliated along. Let's just say Paul gives you two a hard time about it. With all the love of course.

They love to get out with you and the others and go to the boardwalk, but they try to take you out on days it is not that crowded, or in hours where a small amount of souls are having a stroll. But, if you happen to go out on a crowded night, they will keep you focused on having a good time, but just mention your getting uncomfortable and you'll be back at the cave in less than a minute.

Paul and Marko really love your style, they think it looks badass and try to match tough outfits with you from time to time. Giving you cool shirts and leather jackets with some patches on them that they think are awesome. Don't ask why some of the clothes have strange-colored stains on them tho.

They go with you to get you ears or nose pierced from the moment you three decided doing it diy style was a bad idea cuz y'all ended up with a bleeding nose and an ear infection the first time of trying it, and because there's no voice of reason in the threesome, Star and Dwayne had to give you kids a very long lecture of not doing those things by yourself.

[revchainsaw]

Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind (1984)

Prayers and Salutations Cult Members! I am your mysterious minister Reverend Chainsaw and this is another nights revival service at the Cult Film Tent Revival. I bring you a special word tonight. Tonight's word is about a person who roamed the earth, in a time where people were backward and warlike. A leader emerged into a kingdom full of eschatological expectation. This leader came preaching peace, and was killed for the sins of the world, but was resurrected. In that resurrection a new hope was brought to the planet, and true healing through the power of love in the face of violence is made possible. I am talking of course about Princess Nausicaa from the Valley of the Wind.

The Message

Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is the film that put studio Ghibli and Hayoa Miyazaki on the map. No animated feature this grandiose and epic had been achieved by 1984, as much as Disney may beg to differ. The tale may be simple, and it may feel super 80s to us today, but Nausicaa is a masterpiece, and the fact that Howl's Moving Castle is brought up alongside Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away more often than Nausicaa is a farce and a tragedy.

The film takes place on a fantastic planet that seems to have suffered the ravages of an apocalyptic war. A war that involved gigantic warriors with powers so devastating they about made the entire planet inhospitable if not uninhabitable; save for a few areas. The fall out of this ancient war has left the earth in a state of repair, where the natural processes of a planet healing has creating giant toxic jungles.

Beyond these jungles lie two imperialistic factions, they seem almost to be city-states but it's not terribly clear. The Kingdom of Tolmekia, a militaristic proto-fascist society of almost Spartan sensibilities. Tolmekia is governed by the ambitious and cynical Princess Kushana, But I like to call her Furiosa. Just like Furiosa, Kushana is physically missing parts of herself, a visual metaphor for her metaphysical lacking and the parts of her humanity she has cut away. Kushana's world view is one of fear, a fear that can only be quelled by waging a genocidal campaign against her enemies.

Speaking of enemies, the Athens to Tolmekias Sparta would be the Pejite Kingdom. The Pejites might like to view themselves as simply responding to Tolmekian aggression, but the narrative of the film, and the story told quite visibly on the body of Kushana, is quite different. The Pejites are just as bloodthirsty if not more palettable in their approach, but like the Tolmekians, they believe only their own lives have any value. And thus, in this theatre of war, a Giant Warrior from the ages before is unearthed by the Pejite Kingdom, Stolen by the Tolmekians, before the forces of nature themselves, seem to conspire to drop the Giant Warriors "egg" right into the Valley of the Wind.

The Valley of the Wind is populated like the world of Avatar the Last Airbender, that is mostly of children and the elderly. The people of the Valley have been able to remain untouched by the ravages of war and the toxic jungles of the damaged world primarily due to geographic luck that's explained in minor exposition in the film. They are ruled by a King, and they are all deeply enamored by their beloved Princess Nausicaa.

Nausicaa is a gentle soul. She is kind to animals, she is empathetic, unreasonably patient, and bears pain and grief inflicted on her out of cruelty with a saintly understanding. She really is a thinly veiled Christ figure, scratch that. There is no veil. But she's also my favorite Christ figure. She does not preach a message, as much as she tries to save everyone from their own short sighted goals. She is not perfect, she does lash out and do some fantasy sword fight murder, but she regrets her actions so deeply that it seems to have played a part in motivating her to become even more compassionate and patient with the evils of the world.

Nausicaa discovers yet another plot by the Pejites, who are afraid of the possibility of the Tolmekians awakening the Giant Warrior, to use animal cruelty to enrage a group of almost invincible giant insects known as the Ohm. By luring the Ohm into the Valley of the Wind where the Tolmekians have become an occupying force, they hope to completely wipe out everything that threatens them. The Tolmekians DO awaken the Giant Warrior and pure pandemonium ensues. Nausicaa manages to save the Baby Ohm and calm the rage of the bloodthirsty Ohm swarm, and to defeat the warlike tendencies of both the Pejites and the Tolmekians. All the while fulfilling a prophecy fortold about a messianic savior figure called the Man in Blue.

Now that you have heard the Gospel of Nausicaa, please stand to receive The Benediction.

Best Character: Half a Person

Now that I've spent the better part of this review gushing about our Lord and savior Nausicaa. I have to admit, she's at times a bit too perfect, a bit too saccharin. Even her flaw, or her one weakness and her failing to be perfect, just adds to the perfection. I can't even say she never makes mistakes cuz she made one, and that's infuriating. It's even more infuriating that I still think she's a great character. Normally this kind of thing really kills a hero. Most Chosen Ones are the most boring and least likeable characters in their narratives. I don't know how Nausicaa avoids this trap, but she does. I'll have to do some meditating on that.

However, just like in your typical Chosen One fantasy narrative, the hero is a lot less fun than the villain. I'm going to say the best character in Nausicaa is Kushana. I want to be like Nausicaa, but I don't understand her. She's almost alien, even though we learn all about her. Kushana is mysterious, secretive, and enigmatic, yet I understand her. She barely has an arc, she doesn't really change. She's cold and cynical to the bone, but I don't need to see much of her situation to completely understand why she is the way she is. I usually hate totalitarian bad guys, but Kushana I like. Sue Me.

Also fun fact, did you that Nausicaa means 'Sinker of Ships'. That's kinda fun.

Best Scene: Spoiled for Choice

I'm going to be lazy and say take your pick. There is really not a bad seen in this movie. If the action isn't going, then there's intriguing dialogue. If there's no dialogue then you may be about to get hit with a forceful burst of whimsy. There's horror, there's swordfights and aerial dogfights. The only thing in Nausicaa I don't like to see, is the bloody tortured Ohm Baby. It's like a god damned Sarah Mclachlan commercial.

Best Creature: Foxy Shazam!

The Ohm are so simplistic yet so detailed. The number of eyes is alien, but the way they are used is expertly expressive. Who'd think you could get me to love what basically amounts to a silverfish with the intensity that I love a kitten. How did Miyazaki pull an Okja with a creature that should be haunting our dreams? I don't know.

And what about the Giant Warrior! If you are an Evangelion fan then you probably already know that Hideaki Anno designed and animated the melting goopy biomechanical beast. Surely a sight that would make both H.R. Giger and Clive Barker giddy with excitement. Just the image of the silhouettes marching amidst the desolation of the old world is burned into my brain.

So which of these is the best creature from Ghibli's first outing? It's fucking Teto. It was always gonna be Teto you idiot. Just look at Teto, he's adorable. He's too cute to exist. I'm so alone. I need a pet.

Best Character Design: Tolmekian Regalia

I originally included this category to talk some about Kushana, however, at that time I also thought I was going to say Nausicaa was the best character. I thought hard about deleting it, but I think it's a different category and you can't accuse me of playing favorites because my favorite character is clearly Teto. Just to keep it simple. It's the two costume shift from full military regalia in white and gold, to the one metal arm, warrior princess get up. It's a great costume and a great look. Get on this shit cosplay nerds. It's great for Cons in Canada, you have to think about layers, and you can't keep going as Mr. Plow. It's lazy.

Best Excuse to Talk About Patrick Stewart's Character: Lord Yupa

I just realized that I was about to write this whole review without talking about Lord Yupa. Lord Yupa is a sword saint and all around badass I think a lot of entertainment, especially in the west is lacking bad ass old men. Lord Yupa particularly shines in the early half of the film as a warrior and as a wise council to Nausicaa. If she's Jesus then Yupa is John the Baptist. He is also voiced by the elegant and eloquent Patrick Stewart. He also comes with 2 chocobos!

Worst Character: For Whom Asbel Tolls

This might also be the worst actor category as well. Actual Cannibal (haha meme) and actual monster (haha real life) Shia Labeouf doesn't so much act in the role as he read the lines and it was recorded. The good news it doesn't effect the film too much because Asbel is completely forgettable. He is a catalyst to some of the action, but besides that I don't really care for him.

Worst Aspect: To Be Fair ...

It would be unfair to completely ignore anything negative about Nausicaa. I have already mentioned in many places that there are some pretty corny, or pretty predictable tropes to this movie. But what I can't capture in words is exactly why it feels fresh when it's done in this movie. I suppose that's what makes it good. It's just so good that it's weak points are lifted up by it's strengths. Some people may bored of Nausicaa's unyielding goodness, or that she very rarely chooses to take action as much as she chases and pleads with her surroundings, but I mean, she does pay for that eventually. It's a fantasy story and it hits a lot of timeless themes that have been hit in stories for as long as human beings have been telling stories. Some people may feel that it doesn't do enough to stand out.

Summary

I have defined the S tier for myself as "near perfect and personal favorite" films. I like to think that Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is near perfect. Some may say that it looks like it might just be a personal favorite. In the case of Nausicaa, I'm having a very hard time telling the difference. I think it would be overly simple to claim that Nausicaa is just an ancient archetypal heroes journey with an 80s anime coat of paint. I think it's doing quite a few new and interesting things with that formula, those things are just playing out all around that narrative as opposed to being at it's center. For a first full length outing by the studio, you can really see Miyazaki's heart and the values he holds close to. I'll repeat myself so that we are completely clear on the matter. I think Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is a near perfect movie.

Overall Grade: S

[shall-we-imagine]

A dare is a dare! (Yukiya ReizenxReader AU)

Requested: 33. "I'm not weird. I am limited edition." + 34. "I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned." From this prompt list.

I'm so so sorry I know you've requested this ages ago and I took forever to write it so thank you for waiting. ❤ I've been in a horrible slump lately too :/ so consider this like a warm up and hopefully I'll write something cooler soon!

Genre: Fluff + humor

(Second person point of view)

"Your turn, Scarlett! Truth or Dare?" Amelia giggles.

"Dare!" Scarlett beams proudly.

"I dare you to order us some pizza; I am honestly very hungry." Amelia, the host of the sleepover, complains.

"That's your fault." You state, Scarlett nodding in agreement.

"A dare is a dare!" Amelia shoves her phone in Scarlett's face.

The blond shakes her head, but starts dialling the number anyway. "Shouldn't we order some for Yukiya too?" She wonders. Yukiya is Amelia's twin brother, and he's the only family member of Amelia's that's currently present at home; her parents are on an overnight trip of some sorts: you didn't ask for the details.

"Yeah, shouldn't we?" You turn to Amelia. Yukiya, in spite of being awfully attractive, is very shy and quiet, so you barely ever got the chance to utter more than a few words to him, if you even got to see him that is. Whenever you visited your bestfriend's house, he seemed to always keep himself locked up in that room of his. You sort of wished he didn't though, perhaps because of your undeniable crush on the blue-haired boy, just a guess though.

"Nah, he can eat leftovers if there's any." Indifferent, Amelia shrugs.

"You're so mean! I'll order one for him." Scarlett states. "Wait, what should I order for him?"

"Oh, good question!" Amelia perks up. Uh oh, that's never a good sign. "I wonder what Yukiya's favourite pizza is...(Y/N), you go ask him!" She smirks. You'd never really confessed to either of your bestfriends about the little thing you have for Yukiya, but you've always suspected they'd caught on, probably from the 'subtle' glances you'd give him whenever you get a chance to see him.

"Why me?!" Your cheeks heat up.

"It's your penalty for not doing the last dare you got." The two idiots nod eagerly, as if Scarlett's reason was very plausible.

"But this isn't fair! You turned my dare into a truth! Daring me to answer truthfully to your question isn't-"

"A dare is a dare!" Amelia shouts, cutting my complaints off.

"What are you scared of?" Scarlett inches closer to me smugly.

"Nothing!" I lie. "I'm gonna go ask him; I don't have a problem with that!" I lie again. Oh god, he's gonna see straight through me with those beautiful hazel eyes of his and just know I like him.

"Do I hear wedding bells?" Amelia sighs dreamily, as I was about to exit the room.

"Stop being weird! I'm only trying to get this over with; you're not the only hungry one here, you know!"

She scrambles off the fluffy, pink rug and rushes to her dresser, quickly and sloppily putting on her sunglasses. She crosses her arms, striking a 'cool" pose, "I'm not weird. I am limited edition."

After a few seconds of Scarlett and I staring in bewilderment, the former finally nods, "Yeah, that's definitely weird."

"You're both mean!" Amelia tears off her sunglasses and places them back on the dresser before taking her place back on the rug.

You shake your head in disbelief but do not say anything, leaving Scarlett to deal with that dork. Serves her right for selling you out anyway; you chuckle to yourself.

You tentatively walk to the end of the dimly lit hallway, purposely stretching out the time it takes to reach there by slowing down your steps.

Unfortunately but inevitably, you reach your destination. Heart pounding violently in your chest, you lift your fist up to knock on his door, but retract it to rehearse your lines a few more times.

After gaining the slightest bit of confidence you won't stutter the second he opens that door, you raise your fist again, but before your knuckles could collide with the wooden door, it flings open, revealing Yukiya in grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt.

"(Y/N)?" His eyes widen. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I-uhm, you know.." What are words? Cuz 'damn, you look good!' surely wasn't the correct thing I needed to say. "I- what pizza do you like?!" You blurt out, making it sound almost like a threat- like you were mugging him of his pizza preference.

Confusion spreads across his features, "Um, I like margherita? Why?"

"We're ordering pizza for you- I mean for us- I mean for all of us...including you." Yeah, go ahead, make a fool out of yourself; that's exactly what you planned to do!

He laughs. Oh god that beautiful laugh; you'd never seen him laugh before, but now he was laughing because of you. "Thanks." He smiles. Now, you might actually be hearing those wedding bells Amelia was talking about....

Speak of the devil. Amelia's door flings open, revealing the girls. "You're taking too lo- ooohhh, look at that!" The smug expressions they both wore were enough to drown you in humiliation and embarrassment.

"We already ordered the pizzas!" Scarlett exclaims and shuts the door, leaving you and Yukiya alone in the quiet hallway.

"What?! Hey! Wait, then why did you make me-" You shout but give up halfway through, knowing you'll recieve no answer anyway.

"Amelia already knows I only eat margheritas." Yukiya says quietly, a smile tugging at his lips.

"I figured as much." You sigh, accepting defeat.

After a few moments of awkward silence, neither of you knowing what to say, Yukiya breaks the silence with a gentle tone, "Well, do you wanna get a drink as we wait for the pizza?"

"Of course." You smile, and then smile even more upon viewing the way his face lit up at your agreement. Maybe you do have a chance.

You head to the kitchen, Yukiya leading the way even though you know this house about as much as he does, considering it's practically your second home. Amelia always invites you over, especially because her parents are barely ever home.

You take a seat at the dining table in their kitchen and watch as Yukiya rummages through their fridge. "Is chocolate milk okay?" He innocently holds up two small cartons of chocolate milk- the type kindergarteners would fall head over heels for.

You giggle, "Yeah, chocolate milk is perfect."

"Why are you laughing?" He sits opposite to you and hands you your carton.

"Nothing, nothing. It's just- it's cute; you're cute." The words come out before you get the chance to think them through. God, can the ground just swallow you whole right now?

A slight blush takes over Yukiya's normally pale skin, "Thanks. You're cute too." He mumbles.

Your heart did literal backflips. Well, maybe not literal, but it felt quite literal. "Thanks." You breathe out, fumbling with the chocolate milk carton in your hand before finally sticking the straw in and taking a sip of your drink.

For a while that's what both of you did, just quietly sip your chocolate milk, no words spoken. You wanted to say something; you needed to say something. It felt like a chance you had to take; you could finally catch the attention of your crush, but you're quietly drinking chocolate milk!

You open your mouth to speak, but the doorbell interrupts you.

"That must be the pizza." Yukiya gets up, dumping his empty carton in the trashcan before rushing to the front door. Dammit. Your time with him is over; did you really need to waste your time being so uncomfortable and awkward? Jeez.

Scolding yourself all the way towards the door, you almost lose hope of ever getting such a good chance to talk to him like that. But you see Yukiya holding up about seven boxes of pizza, looking like a frightened, confused puppy.

"Oh! (Y/N)! Could you help me? Just pull out the hundred in my pocket, please." He pleads.

"Sure." You rush towards him, quickly sticking your hand in his sweat pants' pocket, eager to release him of the struggle he's in. However, your rashness results in your hand brushing against something you didn't quite need to touch. Not at this stage of your relationship at least.

Your eyes meet his equally panicked ones. "I- um..I meant my jacket's pocket.." His cheeks turn bright pink to match yours.

You turn your head to look behind you- a coat rack with a single jacket hung on it. Yukiya's.

You could feel embarrassment radiating from both of you; you quickly pull your hand out of his empty pocket and clear your throat. "Sorry."

"Can y'all get it over with? I still have work to do." The delivery boy huffs, following it up with a roll of his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sorry." You quickly pull the money out of Yukiya's pocket and make the payment while Yukiya waits with his tower of pizza boxes.

After you shut the door, the awkwardness seemed to suffocate you both. God, it was going so well; why did that need to happen?!

"I didn't mean to touch your-"

"I know. It's okay; I should've made myself clear." He gives you a reassuring smile, but you could still see how red his face is. Maybe it was just him getting tired of the pizza boxes though, you tried to lie to yourself.

"Uh, here, let me help you." You grab some of the boxes. "They're such pigs; I don't know how they eat all that." You joke.

"And Amelia was supposed to be on a diet too." He adds, laughing.

You join him, "So was Scarlett!"

After that, the incident was completely forgotten and you were able to actually enjoy your time with Yukiya and the girls without thinking of how you touched your crush's penis minutes ago.

"Yukiya, truth or dare?" Scarlett asks before taking a huge bite of her slice.

"Truth."

"Booorriiinng!" Amelia boos.

"Shut up; I have a juicy one!" Scarlett shoves her palm in Amelia's face.

For some reason, that made you nervous.

And judging by the way Yukiya glanced at you for reassurance, it made him nervous too.

"Okay, Yukiya, do you like anyone?" She smirks and looks at me.

"Why are you looking at me?" I raise an eyebrow.

"I'm not." She shrugs. "So? Yukiya?"

He stays silent for a few seconds but replies in a calm tone, "Yes."

The two girls squeal, scream, and jump around, but you could only sit there, your heart rate faster than the speed of sound. Your eyes meet his; now, if you were reading his invisible signals correctly, he was telling you it's you, but you could be imagining that, so no need to do anything stupid. Not again.

"Who is it?!" Scarlett practically jumpscares the poor guy.

"You already asked your one question. These are the rules, aren't they?" He smiles.

"Ugh, Yukiya, come on, don't ruin it!" Amelia groans.

"Cut it out! You can't force him to do whatever you want." You defend, earning a thankful smile from him.

"Yeah." He nods, to which the two girls slump down in annoyance. "(Y/N), your turn. Truth or dare?" Were your eyes playing tricks on you or did he just smirk at you? Oh god, he's too hot for existence.

"Dare." You gulp, hoping he's as nice as he seems.

He frowns.

"What's wrong?" Your eyebrows furrow in concern.

He chuckles sheepishly, "I didn't think of a dare."

"I did!" Scarlett volunteers. "Can I pick her dare?"

Before you could say No, absolutely not! Definitely not in a hundred years!, Yukiya had already agreed. Well, shit. Nothing good was about to come out of that little devil's lips.

"(Y/N), 7 minutes in heaven with Yukiya, that's your dare." She grins like she just won some sort of battle.

"That's a different game! Stop twisting the rules as you please!" I complain.

"A dare is a-"

"Oh my god, Amelia, if you say that one more time, I might punch you."

"Someone needs a hug." Amelia pouts sarcastically.

You sigh. If this was a cartoon, steam would be rushing out your ears by now.

"It's okay; we just need to stay in a closet for seven minutes, right?" Yukiya's hazel eyes bore into yours, delaying your response for a few seconds.

"Um, uh, yeah."

"No problem then." He grabs you by your wrist gently and leads you to Amelia's closet, both of you choosing to ignore the wolf whistles coming from the two girls on the floor.

"Okay, this is too cramped." You breathe out after the closet door was shut.

"Tell me about it." Yukiya lets out a light laugh.

"On the bright side, we get to escape their teasing for seven whole minutes." I propose.

"True." He agrees.

Silence consumes the small space after that.

It was fairly hot outside the closet, so inside it was just hell, basically. Plus, you weren't a fan of not being able to see anything. You were also scared of moving at all because you really didn't need any more accidents.

"Yukiya?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you actually like someone?"

He remains silent for longer than you would've liked but eventually gave a response.

"Yes."

"Do I know her?"

"Yes."

Curiosity was getting the best of you. "Can I get a hint?"

"Technically speaking, you can, but that doesn't mean you will."

It was extremely unusual for Yukiya to tease someone, from what you knew at least, so that made you feel special in some way.

"Pretty please?"

"I don't know. What would I get in return?"

You paused for a few seconds. Then did something extremely brave. A side effect of the darkness, or maybe the heat had melted your brain to a puddle.

You blindly reach out for him and work your way up to his neck. You stand on the tip of your toes and pull him closer to you, praying your lips collide with his and not have some awkward interaction where you kiss his chin or something. Then, you'd have to move to Ireland and hide your real identity for the rest of your life.

By some miracle, it happened. Your lips and his moved against each other with ease. His lips were slightly swollen due to his habit of biting on his lip when nervous, but they were soft nevertheless. Easily, what you'd planned to be a quick peck had turned into a passionate kiss.

You pull away, slightly panting. "Does that work?" You tease.

"Better than anything I'd dreamed of." He rests his forehead on yours. "I guess I turned out liking you a lot more than I'd originally planned."

The door to the closet flings open, leaving you feeling vulnerable and humiliated for some reason.

"Are we interrupting something?" Scarlett wiggles her eyebrows at the two of you.

"Ewww, I can't believe you just kissed my brother." Amelia whines, earning a smack from Scarlett.

"We planned that, you scatterbrain."

"I know, but still."

"I hate you both." You step out of the closet.

"Why? We got you a boyfriend." Amelia stares.

Your cheeks heat up. "Just shut up, will you?"

"Honestly, if anything, we should hate you; where are our boyfriends, (Y/N)?" Scarlett complains.

"That's not my fault!"

"You're saying there's something wrong with us?!" Amelia fake gasps.

You face palm and turn to Yukiya, who just gave you a sympathetic smile. "Yukiya, you have more of that chocolate milk?"

"Lots and lots of it." He laughs.

"Off we go then." You link your arm with his, turning him towards the door.

"You traitor!" Your bestfriends call out after you.

Well, it's their fault for 'getting you a boyfriend' after all.

[chicohungers24-7]

Major vent idc if you read this or not this is just a warning

I'm not committing suicide I swear but I want to die so so so bad.

My life seems so fucking easy on the outside but then I think about it and I just want it to end so bad

Living in America as a black afab trans teenager (shout out to the state of Florida being a shithole) is legitimately the worst thing in my life. I don't feel safe walking in my own neighborhood (partially contributed to the frequently lose dogs but I'm so scared I'm gonna die or be kidnapped or murdered I'm so paranoid)

I have zero irl friends and I literally moved here almost a year ago. It's almost the end of the school year and I've found no one. I'm so lonely.

I'm not even really suicidal. I don't have the courage to s/h or to make a plan or anything I'm just trapped in my stupid head thinking about death and not being able to do anything about it. I've been depressed for five years that's a third of my life there's literally nothing left there for me Im going to be fucked up forever

Only my dad is with me rn (mom is deployed :)))) and I don't feel safe talking about my feelings to him. He just retired and still refuses to get therapy about his ptsd (I'm so hypocritical LOL) and so all his reactivity issues are pushed onto me (and my poor dog. I can't die now. Not while she's alive I couldn't leave her with him)

Speaking of retiring and deploying lol being a military brat (hate that term) is SO traumatizing everyone is like oh you're so resilient and patriotic lol no I never want to fight for this stupid fucking country it ruined my life and my parents and the only "good" thing out of this is the stupid g.i. Bill and idk if I'll even make it to college. It's given me so much anxiety and depression and trauma istg I hate the military I never want to join I feel so violent when I see the stupid recruiters at my school. Also I might be autistic?? A lot of the anecdotes my mom tells me of when I was a child + stuff I know now might point towards it (not necessarily a bad thing but it just makes me more paranoid about cops killing me 😳)

God the paranoia is awful. I hate walking to school in the dark. I have to always check if my garage is closed cuz when im home alone (which is often thanks dad) he likes to drive out and forget to close it. But also if I lock the door to the garage he bangs on it super loud and it scares some nights I check that shit like five times over. Or like the weird metal bar that prevents the door from opening to the backyard. He told me some really graphic shit one time I left it open and now I check that all the time too. He's really graphic for some reason actually lol he told me was was gonna kill me when I was like. 11. And he says he always has a plan to kill people. Gee I wonder why I flinch.

I'm writing this all in one go it's like 2230 LMFAO I've made it a habit of staying up all night looking at triggering content until my phone starts to die and then I go to sleep past midnight.

Kinda stupid ngl. It just adds to the depression. Staying up late. Waking up early. Not wanting to get out of bed. I hate my stupid school and my racist classmates

I was a gifted child once lol. I miss it. Kinda ruined my school life though. I'm still smart too I just CAN'T do school. It'd be so much easier if I had friends but I'm so scared of rejection literally the only reason I had friends through 6-9th grade (freshman year kinda killed that friendship though) is cuz the kids at my bus literally chased me to say hi I honestly sound so pathetic right now omg I'm so scared I annoy everyone even though I hardly interact with people and even the people I interact with I'm scared will leave me. It's so funny that I'm scared of abandonment when I'm the kid that was moving. I abandoned people. I think freshman year changed that. I had stayed virtual for the first quarter. The friend in my grade had met new people cuz she went brick in mortar. My other friend was a grade higher and always had other friends

I just want the normal childhood of having childhood friends and knowing everyone at school but I don't and I'm a stupid lonely loser with no one. No one knows me. My teachers can't tell something is wrong because the entire time they've known me I've been depressed I guess they just think I'm a loser

I just want friends so bad. I want to hangout with people after school that actually enjoy my company. I was in a d&d club for someone's research project and they were all friends and I was just the odd duck and I looked so stupid I'm front of them why did I do that that was the dumbest decesion ever

I wish I had the courage to commit suicide. Or try. Or do fucking anything other than cry at night (which is a new development! Second night in a row. Better than just being a husk ig)

A year ago I actually went to a doctor about depression (well more for adhd but I didn't have it and he just focused on my depression) and I got DIAGNOSED and he was like therapy (didn't work) and SSRIs could work :) and then my dad was like no. No medication. Thanks dad. I want to die. And I'm stuck with you in this stupid state

I just want courage. To get help. Or to die. Idc which. Looking at depressing shit isn't helping I'm such an idiot I just need someone to help me please I want someone to notice. Someone that can help please but no I'm venting on Tumblr dot com where no one knows me I so obviously don't want to die I just want pain to end but it won't because I'm too much of a coward to help myself. I literally walk through the hallways just thinking about dying. I wanted covid to kill me. I wanted the shot to kill me. Why can't I do it myself what's wrong with me I can't even be suicidal correctly I feel like a meme saying I just want to be happy

I'm posting this just so I can let it out. I'm sorry if it triggers anyone. I'll tag it the best I can