#and tbh I would be too if my role consisted of forced 'dumb' dialogue. getting beaten up. and pining for my ex

[kurokoros]

still mad that we didn't get Vecna possessing Steve. haha silly Steve who asks stupid questions and everyone dunks on as if he's not an athlete and one of the better combatants in the group. Steve, who knocked out a trained soldier at 19. Steve, who has been beaten to hell every season and gotten right back up afterwards. just goofy old Steve.

but what if Steve wasn't actually Steve anymore?

[aelinbitch-archive]

☕️ Manon asking dorian to marry her and elorcan in general oh and also aelin losing her scars how could i forget that was the first thing that went through my mind when i saw the post akjgshq

yesssss ok

1. Bad. It’s kind of complicated for me because like… I love Manon, so reading the books I’m always like yes a Manon Scene!! Yes Manon Character Development!! Yes Manon-Related Content!! But, as anyone who follows this blog knows, I kiiiind of loathe M*norian with my whole heart, and it’s sometimes hazy where a Manon Scene ends and a Manorian Scene begins. 

(Which is what I hate most about that ship - it’s fundamentally about ½ of The Chainsmokers weaseling his way into the arc of one of my favorite women!!! But I digress).

So for Manon to have a moment of vulnerability? To admit that she feels fear? That she cares for people? Great. For it to still be consistent with her characterization - she has ~human~ emotions, but could never truly be happy in the cage of marriage - Great!! For that to be… all about…. Dorito Havilliard? Not great. I didn’t like that it was from his POV, didn’t like that HE was the one who was like “noooo manon you would hate marriage,” really REALLY didn’t like the “for a second he was so turned on he almost selfishly said yes knowing that it would ruin her life and freedom teehee!” part.

(And before anyone jumps in with “omggg Dorian is so ooc can’t believe SjMESS made him into some 2D douchey dude-bro womanizer” yeah lmfao you’re sooo right! Dorian “Celaena Just Be With Me Even Though It’s Dangerous and Painful For You” Havilliard?? Dorian “Came This Close To Taking Advantage of Drunk 17 y/o Aelin At a Party” Havilliard?? Treating women with anything but utmost respect???? Sooooo ooc wow!!!).

Imagine how much better that scene, or the equivalent to it, would have been if it was with Manon and… anyone else. Elide. Or Asterin. Someone actually RELEVANT to the themes of Manon’s arc. How much more interesting and meaningful that dynamic would have been. 

Like, the following quote: “She would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, his mirror in so many ways. And with their union, the world would know it.” I don’t buy it. I just don’t buy it and I never will. They are… not equals. She’s better than him in… every way. And not in an “out of his league” kind of way (although that too, lmao) but literally just that she’s older, stronger, more experienced, more powerful, etc etc etc. To me, they are not mirrors, in any meaningful way. The fact that Dorian has Suffered A Lot and is Super Sad is not enough to make those two characters somehow parallel. 

So tldr I don’t think a marriage proposal/moment of vulnerability in that context was ooc or anything for Manon if we just look at her character (like if you hold your nose and pretend that Dorian is Elide and change half the dialogue/narration to match it then her emotions and instincts make sense) but Dorian’s role in her narrative has always been forced as hell and kind of infuriating, tbh.

2. I wish I had more tea to spill on Elorcan. I don’t have too many feelings about it. It’s nowhere near as objectively bad as M*norian. The scene where Elide goes to save him on the horse was pretty well done (although, again, for me that was because I love ELIDE, not Elorcan, and if it had been Manon instead of him I would have liked it more). Didn’t love that we were supposed to see Elide in a negative light for continuing to be cold/standoffish to him after he like… said sorry a few times lol. She had every right to do that. Even if she did take it too far by comparing her love for him to his love to Maeve, he’s 500 years old!! I really just think!! That somehow!! He’ll be fine!! Although, of course, that interaction was what caused him to go and kinda sorta commit suicide in the battle at Anielle, so yeah I guess burn the witch what a bully. Ew, yeah, the more I think about it the more of a bad taste it leaves in my mouth. I can see the good/cute things too, but at the end of the day I’m a malide bitch who would not care for Dorian or Lorcan even if they weren’t involved with my gay witches so… perfect storm. 

3. Whew this one is…. hm. Tbh, I’m still processing KoA. I read it so fast and nervously (the whole time I was just in a cold sweat begging for Aelin to survive) that I didn’t have time to let all of it sink in.

But right now I…. don’t love it. Maybe I’m just dumb but I don’t see what it did for her and her arc and her character development. It’s too meaningful to just be good ol’ random Suffering™, but it’s somehow not meaningful enough for me to Get It. Like… why that had to happen to her. I loved Aelin’s scars. She did too. I’m still sort of thinking through the symbolism there and what exactly sjm was trying to do with that, and I honestly haven’t found a satisfying answer. 

With Aelin losing her power, which I also disliked, because I just don’t love to see Aelin disempowered (especially in ways that feel… pretty heavyhanded tbh) I could at least see the value of it in terms of the narrative. I loved the line “I am a god” in the context of a powerless(ish) Aelin, because it was like… fuck yeah. She’s more than Mala’s gift to her, more than her bloodline. She IS a god, but not just of fire. A god of lying and wit and arrogance and boldness and insanity and bravery and iron will and pulling victory from the jaws of defeat and of having HUGE balls. While the loss of her power was, by definition, disempowering, it did have a kind of interesting way of bringing the focus to Aelin Galathynius as a person - and the fact that the person there is just as much of a powerhouse as her magic was. 

The loss of her scars was the opposite. Not only was it the result of disempowerment (months of torture and bondage etc etc) it was dehumanizing. It took away some of that personhood, instead of pointing back towards it (not saying Aelin as a person changed just by losing her scars, just that as a symbol it kind of had that effect). It erased the map of survival from her body. It took away something she treasured for a different reason than her power, and I feel really weird about it. Maybe I’ll have a better answer after rereading or thinking about it more, but for now I’ll say that I think if Aelin had been able to keep her scars but lose her power (ideally keep BOTH but whathefuckever) I think that would have been much more consistent and sensible in terms of what I think sjm was trying to do with her character. 

[feminafatalis]

i wanna talk about laura cheating on shadow and what it means in terms of her morality and like what kind of person she is, but since cheating is a rough topic i’m gonna put it under a read more. please do read this if it won’t be triggering for you though because i think it’s gonna be really important to understanding my portrayal of laura! this may not be free of spoilers, but as far as i know i’ve stuck mainly to information and details we already know from the show. if i go into book stuff, i’ll put a spoiler warning

so okay, first things first: i’ve seen some stuff in laura’s and emily’s tags about laura being a bitch or a whore, etc and i’m not even gonna address that tbh but someone brought up like not condemning her for like the sexuality of it, but examining her morals. and that’s 100% valid!!! but they said like her ‘shitty morals’ or something and honestly?

laura isn’t morally shitty. she’s morally weak.

because if you think for a second laura like??? doesnt know what she’s doing is fucked up and wrong, then we are seeing two very different lauras.

and yes, she does it anyway. but that is not indicative of some like moral seed of evil. she’s lonely and sad and weak.

i don’t think robbie ever forced himself on her or really even took advantage of her because she definitely had most of her agency in the situation, but i also see so many indications that???? no part of her actually wanted to be with robbie. like as sad as it is, robbie is a complete stand-in for shadow. when she mentions being with him, she often mentions being drunk. she, as far as i can tell, drinks to ease the guilt she feels sleeping with robbie. (again, i’m not saying any of this is right, but i am saying that laura didn’t one day go ‘fuck shadow i wanna get laid’ and sleep with robbie)

robbie was a drunken mistake that made her feel special and safer and loved. i’m also going off of the fact that in book canon, shadow isn’t super expressive (which i’ll get into more later and im gonna put a spoiler warning)

i also don’t think laura’s friendship with audrey is particularly healthy. it’s 100% tenuous, probably a little high school. im certain that they don’t get along more often than they’d like to admit. of course i’m not trying to minimize what audrey’s going through (and i think the show and betty gilpin did a really good job of like portraying how much it fucks her up) but there are aspects of her personality that i could identify as seriously clashing with laura’s. i think audrey was a little more cynical, probably a bit more biting and sarcastic in her everyday life. and i think laura, before her death, was the kind of positive you only are when you’re really making an effort. laura doesn’t have a good relationship with her mom (clearly evidenced by the fact that shadow doesn’t get along with her mother. shadow meant the world to laura and if her mom was ever unkind to him i really don’t see laura tolerating that)

shadow was laura’s best friend, if not (by the time they got married) her only real friend. is that healthy? of course not. but it was definitely a reality. laura has people she’s friendly with. but her circle is audrey, robbie, and shadow. audrey is her best friend on paper, but they are old friends and definitely grew to be very different people. robbie is the person who knew shadow and was shadow’s best friend, so it makes sense that laura is more drawn to robbie for companionship than audrey because he is more like shadow

so now let’s think about laura who’s just lost her best friend in the entire world. it’s her fault. she doesn’t really shy away from the fact that she is the reason shadow went to prison. i can’t remember if they go into detail about what happened, but he did it to protect her. so: 1) the love of her life/her best friend is in prison. 2) it’s her fault. 3) her ‘best friend’ audrey is someone she connects with less and less every day. 4) robbie is there.

also!!!! laura is ABSOLUTELY self sabotaging. she knows sleeping with robbie will damage her relationship with shadow, and whether she is conscious of it or not, she thinks shadow is better off without her.

NOW let’s talk about that dick pic shall we?

gross.

so we see her phone, her texts to robbie seem to consist mostly of plans to meet. but he texts her that dick pic and she says DOWN BOY

i know this seems like im reaching but she is pretending he is shadow

it’s literally this big sweet inside joke that shadow is her puppy. they don’t go into it on the show which is absolutely obscene because it is the sweetest thing in the world and im gonna paste it in here for anyone who hasn’t read the book.

“When they got married Laura told Shadow that she wanted a puppy, but their landlord had pointed out they weren’t allowed pets under the terms of their lease. “Hey,” Shadow had said, “I’ll be your puppy. What do you want me to do? Chew your slippers? Piss on the kitchen floor? Lick your nose? Sniff your crotch? I bet there’s nothing a puppy can do I can’t do!” And he picked her up as if she weighed nothing at all and began to lick her nose while she giggled and shrieked, and then he carried her to the bed.“

So, yeah it’s a reach but I genuinely think Laura is just pretending Robbie is Shadow. She talks to him as if he’s Shadow, she gets drunk before she sleeps with him. She’s miserable because the love of her life is gone.

I’m not saying Laura is a morally pure person. But she’s not an inherently bad person. She did a bad thing out of desperation and emotional instability and now she’s dead and she can’t apologize because she doesn’t feel all that sorry because she can’t feel anything bc she’s dead. so yeah im not seeking to absolve her of guilt, but like she was also suffering a lot without shadow and the way she coped with it totally sucked! but i also see it as a very (tragically) human thing to do.

PLOT/BOOK SPOILERS BELOW

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another thing: i haven’t read this far in my reread so i don’t remember much detail but shadow is called shadow because he is a shadow of a person. that’s why i think his race is made to be a little bit ambiguous, he doesn’t talk much, and is all together pretty passive in the book. they changed these things because a) shadow as a protagonist needs to be a little bit more relatable/engaging, b) the show would be dry without dialogue, and c) like re: race you inherently have to choose a human to play the role and that person is inherently going to have a racial identity so like that’s just how that works

this is why i identified so strongly with shadow in high school, lol. he isn’t fully himself!!! he’s not fully alive, even! so obviously that factored into laura feeling so distanced from him. all she got were phone calls, potentially rare visits where he was likely suffering a lot emotionally and thus may have been even more distant? and like that’s not his fault, but again laura is a weak person. she needs a lot of love and care and reassurance which shadow can’t possibly give her in prison. it’s not his fault, it is her fault, but shadow has sympathy for her so i ask that you do too! and like you probably do bc you’re following me but ive seen a lot of hate in her tag and it just made me sad bc she’s so complex and to just write her off as a sack of shit is totally reductive bc she was definitely like wracked with guilt when she was alive. we just don’t see it now bc she’s dead and like expressing whatever guilt she had to shadow doesn’t make sense to her because its over, she already did it. and what’s the sense in making shadow feel guilty or sorry for her?

so yeah thats my spiel im sorry it turned into such a rant. but if you got this far thank you omg! ur a star and i hope you understand laura’s nightmare of an existence a little better (at least according to me) lmao love y’all! pls go easy on my dumb zombie daughter