#and suddenly my appearance in the doorknob doesn't bother me *as* much

[i-used-to-wear-the-fedora]

You know, after watching The Substance a few days ago, suddenly I found myself checking my appearance a lot less. I mean this in a good way.

[zpiderwebs]

A/N: it's literally 4am..HUZAHHH I wanted to write this soo badd mmnngghhfff..also, this is the first actual time I write in..a very long time that has to do with my own idea...sorry if it's not good </3

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𖦹[△"Who are you..?"△]𖦹

[In control! Bill Cipher (Ford) x GN! reader]

Summary: [Basically Bill in Ford's body. That's all. Reader witnesses it all and Bill is very...icky about his Sixer.]

Warnings?: Just kinda angsty and lots of swearing coming from reader and Bill just being a complete dick and doesn't care about hurting reader's feelings...guh..apologies in advance!

(;´∀｀). Enjoy!!

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Four goddamn months.

It's been four dreadfully long months since you've last had a decent conversation with him. He hardly pays attention, hardly even needs you down in the basement, and now his fucking home is full of..triangles. You thought it was another one of his little silly quirks..but no. "Meditating" sessions have turned into hours. Hours of him being locked down in the basement, refusing you to even take a peek down at the portal. What the hell were you even needed for anymore? Did he just need your damn help on the calculations and mathematic brain and that's all???

God, it all bothered you so much.

You felt like you were wasting so much time just sitting on your ass all day, not even having any type of interaction besides with yourself when your half asleep and mumbling whatever crosses your mind.

Ford. Ford was a great and smart man when you became friends through Fiddleford back at Backupsmore. But now, after he dragged you all the way to a small town called Gravity Falls that was nowhere near where you last lived...you've never felt so isolated and alone. The one man you once considered to be a great friend and a smart guy..turned out to be just a mess.

He barely eats anymore. Barely sleeps or even takes care of himself. Only ever coming up for more bitter coffee and heading back to the basement without a word to say, brushing pass you. He worries the hell out of you...and your not sure how long you could keep going at this, allowing him to destroy himself mentally and physically.

Well, you have hit your limit.

It was a late night. You had woken up to a loud sound coming from the basement. You didn't realize you had fallen asleep reading a book on the couch. You quickly sat up and walked towards the basement door. Reaching for the doorknob, it didn't stop when you slightly turned it.

It was unlocked.

Sucking in air through clenched teeth, you gripped the doorknob even tighter. You knew you shouldn't, but you needed to make sure your only friend at the moment was okay. Slowly, turning the cold knob, you pulled the door towards you. Once it was open, you heard Ford talking to himself and..laughing? That was..new.

You began to descend the stairs, slowly making your way down. Barely a few steps down, you heard another crash that was followed by another laugh.

"What the fuck..?" You quietly mumbled to yourself. Once you reached the ground, you quickly scanned the area and saw Ford hunched over his desk, writing something into his journal. You walked over, making sure not to startle him with your new presence.

"Ford? You..alright?" You called out. Suddenly Ford's body jumped as he dropped the pen he was writing with. He quickly flung his head to look at you with...weird eyes.

His eyes looked odd. Was the lack of sleep finally catching up to him? Then, a wide smile appeared on his face as his eyes stayed glued to yours. Creepy. That stare sent shivers down your spine as you swallowed hard and bit the inside of your cheek.

"Hey, toots. Didn't think you'd come down here." Ford chuckled, awkwardly standing up as he quickly made his way over. You took a step back.

'Toots'? Since when the hell did he start using nicknames like that?

"Uh, well, you were making a lot of noise and...I just wanted to check up on you. First..time you fucking speak to me in..months practically. What's up with that?" You rubbed the back of your neck, awkwardly looking away. Fuck, you sounded desperate...and you were.

Ford took some time to answer, like if he wasn't actually expecting you to keep a conversation going, hoping you'd just day 'Oh, okay' and scram.

"Oh well..I dunno. Too busy." Ford shrugged. Oh, that answer pissed you off.

"Busy? With what? Seriously, Ford. What possibly could you be doing down here, just hunching over your damn desk and writing in your journal. The least you could do is eat something. All you live off of is coffee? Don't you understand how bad that is?" You huffed. You haven't felt this..angry in years. The last person you wanted to upset you was Ford.

"Why does that concern you so much? Your so concerned over him that you can't even think straight, toots." Ford chuckled, his...weary yellow eyes looking into yours as he took a step closer.

You huffed. His way of speaking sounded off. "It concerns me because you can get yourself killed this way, Ford. How am I supposed to know if you do drop dead when your always locked down here? I wouldn't even know if you hardly speak to me anymore in the first place!"

Ford groaned and rolled his eyes. "God, you humans and your dumb relationships and emotions. Boring! Your all so clingy, depending on attention and empathy from others. It's pathetic."

You raised a brow. Ouch? What the hell was he talking about now? "Ford, seriously, just talk normal. And..I wanted to ask you, what's up with all this stupid triangle worship stuff and..all this 'meditation'? Your really worrying me."

Ford only sighed before pinching his nose and looking at you dead in the eyes. "Alright listen, toots. And listen good because I'm not repeating myself. I'm not Ford. I'm Bill. I'm his biggest and only muse. He doesn't need you or anybody anymore. He has me and that's all he needs. You were nothing but a pure tool for him to use until he didn't need it anymore, and that'd be..now! So, you've been doing nothing this whole time while me and little ol Sixer have been having a blast." Ford..or..now Bill that was in Ford's body, chuckled.

You were..dumbfounded. What..? "H-huh? Okay, Ford, is this some sick joke?"

Bill chuckled and made his way closer to you, causing you to back up..only for your back to hit the wall.

"Oh, no I'm not joking, toots. I'm in control of Sixer right now. And right now, I'm telling you to leave. He doesn't need you anymore. He doesn't need anyone. Your just a waste of space and a mere tool he used and doesn't need anymore. Back into the tool box!" Bill laughed.

As he continued to laugh at his own words, your mind was trying to comprehend what the fuck was going on. "Who are you...? What are you...?" You murmured out. Bill only chuckled against.

"I'm Bill Cipher. I'm this man's muse."

"What do you want with Ford? Were...you the reason we started building that dumb fucking portal!?" You snapped but suddenly a six fingered hand was slapped onto your mouth.

"Now, let's not disrespect my work or insult it with that dirty mouth, toots. Watch your words. It's simple, really. Ford is what I've been looking for, and I'm what he's been needing. He doesn't need a pestering worthless being like you around him. Your always nagging, begging for attention like some lost puppy. It's pathetic, really. Don't you have anything else to do in your sad life?" Bill's smirk widened, letting out a laugh.

"Of course you don't. You've been thrown under the bus and now your trying to crawl your way out, but that's not possible. He doesn't want or need you anymore, face it. He used you for what he needed. For that smart little brain of yours and that's all. He didn't actually care for your friendship, he was just playing along."

You felt a lump build up in your throat. That's not true..or is it..? Well..he is in Ford's mind. Is that what Ford really thought of you and only needed you for..? You pulled away from the hand before speaking up.

"That's not true-!"

Suddenly-- the hand slapped against against your mouth, shutting you up. "Yes it is! Just accept it already! Your worthless. All you'll ever be good for is to be used and thrown aside. Ford never gave a single shit about you. Your nothing." Bill frowned, speaking through gritted teeth as he glared.

"Now...you can leave his sight, leave him alone. He doesn't need you anymore."

Bill then let you go. You didn't say a word as he walked back towards the desk and sat back down. You wanted to bash something into his head..but that'd mean hurting Ford's body in the process too. His words had already stabbed way too deep into you.

Fuck, you felt like crying...it hurt. It all hurt. Was that really what Ford thought about you? All he ever needed you for? You felt your eyes sting.

You simply wobbled upstairs without another word. You laid awake, starring at the ceiling until you felt hot tears stream down the sides of your face. Everything hurt.

The next morning, you left without word. You thought about leaving a small note or even a letter..but if Ford never said those things and Bill was just lying, he knew where to find you and tell you the truth or write...

But it hurt that 30 years later,

he never wrote to you.

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