#and still haven't gotten my actual license bc I keep going Weeks without practicing
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Ngl it feels like my Finals Season Stress Freakouts are happening a) earlier and b) more and more frequently every school year
That's......probably not good huh
#dizzyisms#I mean Yeah ADHD Hellbrain has never been kind to me#but even just in the past two years I feel like I'm rapidly losing my ability to Care about deadlines#and I straight up can't do some assignments until an hour before they're due#the most minor shit has me feeling Overwhelmed#and yeah I have academic accommodations (thank fuck) but I barely bother to Use them half the time#bc I keep convincing myself that I Can Do This On My Own If I Just Try Hard Enough#hell last semester I straight up Forgot abt the deadline to apply for finals accommodations#n only my profs being Super nice and personally giving me extra time got me thru it#and that's just the uni stuff#don't even get me started on the fact that I haven't seen my partner in person in Months#and still haven't gotten my actual license bc I keep going Weeks without practicing#My life has been the size of my bedroom and my phone screen and I hate it so much#I feel so god damn Helpless and Suffocated and some days it makes me want to break shit and scream and throw myself against a wall until#my body gives out#but I won't even allow myself That bc I'll still have to deal with the aftermath#I'd say I wanna kill myself but honestly I don't have the balls to lmao#don't wanna make my family n friends have to deal with my mess#so instead im just gonna keep all this shit to myself and keep going back n forth from campus to gym to room#and scroll thru this fuckin app day in n day out like always#but it's only a matter of time until something Gives and some poor rando catches me at the Wrong moment and I fucking lose my mind and take#Everything out on them
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