#and some of my friends teasing me for not having listened to it tho i'm like. the biggest hozier fan they and i know.

[redsea8me]

I just wanna say that your Side Effects AU has me going FERAL it's sitting rent free in my head and has claimed squatter's rights!!

I'm curious if you have any ideas you have surrounding Hyde and Ratchet, and maybe even Team Prime?

Sorry if I'm a bit over the top, pls take these flowers 💐💐💐

Oh my god thank you sm!! It makes me so happy to hear that (will gladly accept those flowers) you’re most certainly not over the top I love answering questions about my au

okay, so w/ Hyde and Ratchet, Hyde is very focused on not being him that it influences his interests too, like Ratchet hates rock music so he loves it type beat (I’ve had it in my head for awhile now that if Hyde was his own separate person since the beginning and they were like normal brothers, he would have been a mortician with a rockstar side gig) and yknow, it definitely sucks at first bc he’s not doing it for himself until he realizes that all Ratchet does everyday is stand at that stupid computer all day so he has more time than most to figure out what he actually likes (still does enjoy rock music tho) he’s very subtly trying to get Ratchet away from it more and more

Hyde and Ratchet have never agreed on what music should be playing and they rarely come to a consensus

Hyde has taken (partial) control over their body far more than Team Prime realizes, mainly when Ratchet is SUPER tired Hyde can easily influence their body so they can get some rest (and it’s totally not because he cares or anything, of course not) and rarely during a mission or something, Ratchet will let Hyde have a bit more control bc he can push their body a bit more

Okay!! Team Prime before this gets too long 😭 but Optimus makes Hyde kind of nervous, he’s not as good at reading Optimus as he’d like to be. His friendship with Ratchet was a large source of fear in the beginning, now it’s just sort of scary authority figure

He wants to rough house with Bulkhead so bad it’s not even funny, he adores sparring and that little bit he got when Ratchet first tested the sythn en was so fun!! (He honestly just wants to be friends with him and Miko so bad)

Arcee he likes bothering, they sass and tease each other a lot I imagine. She took the longest to warm up to him I think

Bumblebee and him have like, me and my estranged cousin vibes (bc let’s not forget, Hyde isn’t really that old at all) when they get past the awkward phase I think they’d be quick friends (Hyde is this close to giving him some sort of piercing)

oh on that topic his snake bites I always draw him with are magnets bc Ratchet doesn’t want piercings like those (never lets him have any fun 😔)

A big point of contention for Hyde when he’s finally integrated with the Autobots is people treating him like he’s fragile bc of Ratchet, like he can understand not wanting him to get injured bc whatever injured he gets will transfer over to their only medic, he gets it. But at the same time he wants so badly to be taken more seriously, or let on missions more bc he can’t stand being stuck in this base (the cabin fever goes crazy)

anyways um, thank you for listening to me rant a bit 😭 hope it’s everything you wanted 🙏

[astrxealis]

hi 🤓 <- person who finally listened to hozier's too sweet and is listening quite literally nonstop

[waylouder]

O.o

[pazzi-535]

In between (paige bueckers)

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Does this look good?" I say to Azzi "yes now you can look all nice for your little girlfriend" "she's not my girlfriend" I say rolling my eyes.

"I think we should go to Victoria's Secret, I've been needing some new underwear,” Azzi says. “Oh my God yes,” I said excitedly. We walk into Victoria's Secret and Azzi immediately goes to the underwear, while I walk around looking at pajama sets. I look around a little bit more when I see a lingerie set that catches my eye. 

All of a sudden Paige calls me “Hey, where are you and Azzi right now?” she says sounding bored “Hi Paige, me and Azzi are in Victoria's Secret right now” I say to her “Ouuu Victoria Secret you gonna send me sum” she says with a smirk ” stop it paige” I say blushing. Azzi comes over smiling “Who has you cheesing and blushing like that?” she says with a smile I start giggling “I'm making you blush in the middle of the store?” Paige teases me. Azzi immediately gets who I'm talking to and walks away “Paige can you please” I say desperately she laughs “What am I making you all worked up?” she says, I respond smiling  “Paige goodbye” 

I immediately go back to the lingerie set that caught my eye a few moments ago “I need to try this on immediately” I say to myself I go up to the changing rooms and ask for a dressing room I undress and I try it on loving how it looks as soon as I put it on I take some pics so I can send them to Azzi later I'm so excited it was a bit pricey for a college student but I couldn't pass up the opportunity. I immediately went to find Azzi, I tell her all about the call with Paige and she starts teasing me. 

I've had a crush on Paige since freshman year but we've been friends for what feels like forever It has always been me Paigeand Azzi and I'm scared to admit my feelings for Paigeeven tho Azzi says she  feels the same I'm Just really scared to put our friendship at risk I can't even think about what I would do myself without paige she's always been the light of my life

After the teasing, I tell Azzi all about the lingerie set and how I'll send her pictures later to get a sneak peek. Her face lights up. We go to Sephora and a sneaker store where I buy myself a pair of Black Cat. I've always loved these sneakers so I treated myself.

Nika calls me “Girl are we going out tonight?” sounding tired Nahiems has been giving her a lot of BS lately so she just wants to go out and let loose. I say of course I go straight to H&M Azzi helps me pick out an outfit since I needed a new one. It's a black long sleeve bodysuit showing a lot of cleavage and some gray cargos. I text Nika saying “Is Paige going to be there?” Azzi reads my texts then looks at me and laughs. I blush Azzi knowing I'm down bad. 

Fast forward 4 hours to where Nika and I are all getting ready to go to Teds and be the crazy college party girls we are. Paige and I have been texting all afternoon about literally nothing. That's one thing I love about Paige, how I can talk about nothing for hours and she’ll listen.

I start to change and for some reason, I feel scandalous and I decide to put the set on under my outfit no one is going to see but me so why not feel good right? 

Paige called me asking if I was ready because she wanted to pick me up. I asked why and she said no reason. So I of course made up a lie so I didn't have to tell Nika and Azzi I was going to be leaving with Paige. They had their suspicions and they knew something was going on with me and Paige 

The last couple of months we've definitely been more than friends but we haven't kissed or anything so I've been quite confused. She always says that we are more than friends and she cares about me a lot more than she does anyone else but she won't do anything about it. We almost kissed once, it was when I went to drop off Paige's basketball shoes . There was a lot of tension at the moment her hands on my waist, me looking into her eyes, arms wrapped around her neck and that was until of course Qadences dumbass cock blocked us. She just had to walk in on us while she was on live. I've always wondered where we would've been if Qadence didn't walk in but everything happens for a reason I guess.

I get into Paige's car and she gives me that stupid smile she always does. The one that makes me fold every time. Her eyes are extra blue her hair straight and we are almost matching 

“Hi,” I say blushing she catches on and says “Hi, you look so pretty” which makes me blush even more than before I stutter and say “Thank you” It's a short drive to Teds but she puts her hand on my thigh which she's never ever done before so it caught me off guard she notices me react and asks if I was okay I nod and she rests her hand higher, God shes going to kill me. 

we pull up to Teds and walk in Azzi and Nika of course ask if we came together. I say no and  Paige says yes and the situation is immediately uncomfortable. I respond with I'm going to the bar which Paige follows me I order a vodka cran and Paige orders her obvious dirty shirley classic. Paige pays for our drinks, I try to tell her she doesn't have to but she smirks at me.

She pulls me by my waist back to the table which I'm not necessarily mad about. After a few drinks she gets more and more touchy, another classic Paige moment but she has never been this touchy with me before.

I go to the bar to get out of her hold so I can breathe but of course, she follows me her hands wrap around my waist and she shoves her face into my neck i giggle because it tickles but she kisses my neck and it catches me off guard she takes her head out my neck and orders us more drinks.

Before I got to the bathroom I tell Nika and Azzi, they say okay I was hoping they would come with me but they didn't so I, of course, had to ask needy Paige and she follows me again I walk in and so does she she pins me to the wall and says “can we go back to my place please”.

--------------------------------------------------------------

TBC

[missetbilu]

KEEPING A CLOSE EYE*

perv!fred weasley x fem!reader, smut

when fred overhears you and the girls chit chatting about boys that you fancy, he can’t keep his mind from wandering, nor his hand.

warnings: perv concept, jerking off

"Come on, Y/N, there's gotta be someone you fancy." Ginny elbowed you, trying to get a response.

Angelina, Hermione, Ginny and yourself were in your favorite little spot in the library. A very secluded area, where you could study, sneak in some food, talk, without prying eyes or ears.

Although in that afternoon, you were not very much enjoying the topic of choice. Boys. Too shy to come clean about your little crush, you would much rather gossip or even focus on the charms essay due next week than engage in the conversation. But the girls were not having it.

"Yeah, even Hermione admitted to being completely, head over heels, in love with Ron." Angelina teased.

"Hey!" The girl blushed and looked away for a second, but curiosity got the best of her and she gave in to the argument. "She's right tho, you're the only one left."

"I just don't think of any guy here like that."

"In this castle full of boys, you expect me to believe not even a single one of them is your type?" Ginny said.

"Unless you're into girls."

"I'm not." You laughed at Angelina's curious expression. "I like men."

"Then name one you would" Hermione stopped herself mid sentence, suddenly a bit shy, "...you know."

"Fuck?" Angelina completed her thought and they all laughed, Hermione also shushing her and looking around to make sure they were alone.

"Alright." You took a deep breath and tried to sound as nonchalant as you possibly could. "I guess Fred is kind of cute."

"Aw dude, are you serious?" Ginny's disappointment was so clear in her face that the three other girls bursted out laughing.

"Shhh, guys, I don't wanna get kicked out." Hermioned said between giggles.

"Sorry, babe, but this was too good not to laugh at." Angelina responded, still chuckling.

"Too good? All my friends wanna fuck my brothers."

And you all fell into laughter again.

-

It had been a week since Fred discovered that spot of yours to hang out. Whenever you and the girls disappeared from his sight, he would get anxious, wondering where you might be.

Until the day he was looking for a potions book, but found something far better: you.

He managed to hide in the corridor next to the one where the group of girls would sit on the floor and chit chat. Usually he took no interest in the conversations you would have. But not that day. Throughout the whole week he listened to each silly subject the girls brought up, only paying attention to the sound of your angelic voice when you made a comment. That day it was different. Once the tables turned from homework to guys you fancied, Fred felt his heart skip a beat.

He was nervous, his palms becoming sweaty as each of the girls rambled about one boy after the other. He barely listened to the guys his sister brought up, nor to the mentions of his brothers. What mattered most to him was what you were going to say. He was so afraid of hearing another man's name fall out of your pretty lips; so afraid you would confess to feeling attracted to someone else.

But he was also infatuated with the possibility of his name being the one in your mind. You quietly listened to what your friends had to say, too scared to say something yourself, Fred saw that in your expression as he tried to eye your figure from the place where he was hiding. Just thinking about it, being him the person you kept yourself from mentioning, made his trousers feel a bit too tight. His hand travelled down to his growing bulge, but he didn't move it, he didn't want to risk not hearing you.

Your silence allowed his imagination to run wild. Maybe this whole thing got her thinking about how good I would fuck her, and she's afraid of sharing those filthy thoughts. He stroked his cock once, over the fabric of his clothes. Or perhaps she's so lost in the desire of getting filled up with my cum, she didn't even notice how quiet she's been... oh fuck... He did it again and had to hold back a moan.

Fred knew he shouldn’t, but it was as if he had no control over his actions. His hand slipped past his boxers and he stroked his dick, trying so hard to imagine it was you doing it.

Has she ever had a wet dream with me? He wondered. She would wake up sweaty and out of breath. Her panties are completely damp, but it's not because of the sweat, it's arousal. I bet she would be embarrassed, looking around the dorm to see if the other girls are sleeping, before she goes under the covers and... He gasps quietly, his hands going a bit faster now. And she lets her hand touch her dripping cunt... He bites his lip to stop himself from cursing. Her sweet fingers would tease her clit and she wouldn't be able to stop a moan of my name from coming out.

"Alright." When the word left your mouth he slowed down his movement, focusing on the head of his member. It was almost painful the way he teased his tip, trying to pay attention to what you were about to say. He even held his breath, that and the expectation making him even more sensitive. "I guess Fred is kind of cute."

Fred was really thankful for the loud laughter of the group that followed your confession, because the minute he heard your sugary voice saying his name, it was too much. He came in his hand with a low grunt.

He didn't listen to anything said after that. He didn't move or took his hand off of his trousers. He was in shock. As much as he wanted that outcome, it felt unreal now that it happened. He had imagined how you would sound saying you fancied him, what words you would choose and what exactly would be the look on your face. But none of it compared to the reality of it all.

You, such a perfect picture of beauty, intelligence, kindness. The most incredible, endearing and angelical woman he had ever set his eyes upon, out of all people, wanted him.

Fred waited until you all had left to pick himself up from his spot on the floor and attempt to use some spells and his robes to hide the stain in his pants. He did a good job, it wasn't too noticeable, but deep down he didn't care. There was something, or rather someone, much more important in his mind.

He stood in front of the corridor where you had been just a few minutes before. "I guess Fred is kind of cute." That played in his head over and over again, like a broken record. And Fred definitely didn't want to fix it.

[serxinns]

OOOO OGMVOVM SO IDEA:

YANDERE CLASS 1-A IS LIKE SO OBSESSED WITH READER BUT SHE HATES THEM ALL AND AVOIDS THEM, WHAT WOULD THEY DO ABT THIS?

You hated them... you hated them all they were just too overbearing! The flirting thr kissing the unwanted touching everything and whenever you told them to fuck off they'll just coo and baby you saying "thats very mean! Darling! "

They kept always crowded around you it's no surprise there Iida always insisted on study dates every chance you could get your mom would always pressure you to join her private tea party and insist it would be just the two of us the way she said it creeper you out so you would always make excuses or just awkwardly walk away leaving her confused and a bit pissed. Denki is always on your ass whether it be teasing or playing around he kept clinging to you like some puppy it was Cringe honestly...

Izuku yapping about heroes even if you weren't listening, Kirishima and Shoji trying to show off by flexing their muscles, Mina or Hakagure always gripping your arm too tight or hugging you until you couldn't breathe and you had to hit them harshly on the back and they dared to complain about it Aoyama guy always trying to stuff your face with cheese even tho the smell of cheese makes you nauseous, ochako was ok untill she started making me go bake with her and suprise suprise! Momo joins her and it always turn into some competition about anything which takes the fun out of baking

You couldn't even talk to your other friend in PEACE shinsou was your go-to friend ever since your classmates started being overbearing you would rant for hours about them and he'd listen heck he let you chill in his dorms for a while or longer you couldn't be asked for a better friend, but back to the story you were just peacefully talking to shiso at lunch until bakugo and his petty little gang came over there everyone smiling at me expect bakugo ofc just glaring at me like I did something wrong, "is.. there a problem?"

"You damn right it's a problem! Your sitting with hyno shit over there!" He said pointing at Shinso "Bakubro that's not very manly!" He said in a stern tone but you had a feeling he wasn't scolding him, "what everyone's trying to say come sit with us y/n you don't have to be alone!" Mina said in a fake sickly sweet voice I swore I saw her eye twitch a bit but you didn't back down easily "im not alone tho I got shinso and I'm fine where I'm at you can eat your lunch and have fun without me" the squad got silence and awkwardly walked away but sending one final glare at shiso

Another time when you were talking with Kendo and Monoma at 2nd you kinda disliked Monoma or thought he was some crazy lunatic just because he kept ripping on your classmates but the 2 of you weirdly got along mostly because of your distasteful experience with your classmates, if the two of you weren't ranting about how your classmates were, the two of you would talk about hero stuff (mostly monoma bragging about being the best hero) or just talking about your interests and laughing at Monoma's antics and chaoticness

Kendo on the other hand made you feel like you had a friend she knows how overbearing and overwhelming your classmates get, so she would try to pull you away as best as she could despite the glares, snarls, and scowls she swore she heard from them she still wanted to help you one day you were dragged by hakagure and Mina to go to their room to play games but Kendo quickly grabbed the back of your shirt with paint hands to pulled you away "sorry gotta borrow them for a sec!" And quickly ran off

"Thx kendo I was about to snap at them and cause a scene" She smiled at you "No problem! I felt you were uncomfortable and had to do something ugh those classmates never leave you alone huh?" You chuckled your so grateful to have a friend like Kendo "anyways let's hurry and go to this "awesome" place monoma keep spamming my phone about" you playfully rolled you eyes and walked with Kendo

Meanwhile your classmates glared at the window Cleary pissed off it "seems like those pest need a lesson.." izuku said voice laced with vemon

[ryker-writes]

TWST characters as ✨best friends✨ (Diasomnia Edition)

What would it be like being friends with them? Come and find out! I offer my thoughts on what they would be like so I'm sorry if some of the characters are a little Ooc. Some characters I don't know as well but I'll certainly try!

Malleus:

he's so happy

he treasures you a lot

sure he has Lilia, Silver, and Sebek but it's different because they have to stay close to him to protect him

if you're upset, he's upset

will do literally anything to make you happy all you have to do is ask

and I do mean anything

he's great for fixing any problem you have

most of his solutions involve magic

if someone's bothering you, oooo they will regret it

as soon as you tell him there is thunder immediately

how dare someone bother his best friend

he won't be violent with them but at most he will threaten them

trust me, that's enough to scare them off

he's also a great person to study with

especially for magic classes and magical history

Malleus will love to talk to you about gargoyles too so please listen

he will be so happy if you actually pay attention

also please bring him along to events even if they're small

he won't voice it but he will be upset if you don't

Lilia is happy that Malleus has a good friend

Sebek has mixed feelings about you tho

like on one hand you're acting so casual and disregarding how powerful Malleus is but you make Malleus happy and Malleus will be upset if Sebek yells at you

Lilia:

he loves to mess with you

Lilia will often hang upside down and randomly appear around you to try and scare you

if you don't scare easily, that only makes him more determined

and if you do scare easily, he will do it more often

there's no getting out of it

very good at solving all your problems

he has a lot of life experience so he's great at giving advice on what to do in any situation

and if someone is bothering you he can talk to them

his talk with them will start off friendly enough but if they don't cooperate he will start threatening them

he's a great person to talk to about anything

he has vast knowledge about many things so he most likely will know about anything you talk to him about

prepare to be teased a lot

and he will try to make you food often

so......good luck

Silver:

probably the calmest friend out of everyone

don't get me wrong, if someone is bothering you or if you have a problem he will take it seriously

he will step in to help you whenever you need him

wouldn't really get hostile unless your safety was at risk

you can talk to him about anything and he will try to listen

please don't be upset with him if he falls asleep while you're talking

he really tries to listen especially if it's something important

but he does pay attention to the parts he catches before he falls asleep and will ask if you still want to continue the conversation when he's awake

Silver falls asleep in inconvenient places sometimes so please help him

just move him so he's not in people's way and maybe try to wake him up

you may also want to help him with whatever he was doing before he fell asleep

you get to see so many small animals around him

the birds and squirrels may start accepting you too

Lilia is happy his son has a friend like you

and so Lilia will try to make you food

Silver will eat the food so you don't have to

Sebek:

I really hope you aren't sensitive to loud noises

he's loud, but a good friend

I mean if someone is bothering you he will obviously confront them

they will be very confused when Sebek comes at them yelling and they don't understand what he's saying but it will somehow work

if you're having a problem he will do his best to help you find a solution

and if he can't think of anything he'll turn to Lilia for advice

Lilia will give good advice but if Sebek doesn't clarify that it's serious and not his problem, Lilia may give him misleading advice to prank him

but if that happens then you get a hilarious distraction from your problem

be aware that if you ask for his opinion on something he will give it to you honestly and directly

he will talk for hours about Malleus if you let him

and he would be really happy if you do

you will know a lot about Malleus even if you haven't met him

and if you do meet Malleus, Sebek will hold you to the same expectations as everyone

but if you pay really close attention, you can tell he's not yelling at you as much as he would others

[camilaxmartin]

Good morning (technically, it's like 1am for me rn) but could I request Carmilla and Rosie (separately) with a reader that's like one of those friends that are shy for a bit but then open up after a bit when they're singing with friends or something (I'm not great at explaining stuff so sorry about that). You don't have to right this if you don't want to, but thanks if you decide too. :)

not so shy after all

navigation // rules // masterlist

summary: *request*

warnings: none i think! NOT PROOF READ THO!

notes: just a quick drabble cause that’s what came to my mind!:) hope you’ll like it!

requests: closed!!

୨ৎ | okay so for me personally carmilla would adore your shy personality. i mean? a partner of hers who is calm and doesn’t disturb her in any way? perfection.

୨ৎ | i think she would also adore how you’d just listen to her and not interrupt her or just calmly sit through all the overlords meetings like she doesn’t have to shush you or get mad at you? could you be any more perfect?

୨ৎ | she would also tease you a lot and enjoy how flustered you get while not being able to respond to her. her ego would get massive. and it’d be a nice change to her daughters cause i can’t believe odette and clara are calm little kittens around her

୨ৎ | in conclusion, i think she would adore having a calm and shy partner

୨ৎ | let’s get into the more brave side now

୨ৎ | she would be so shocked the first time you show your more open side and don’t get me wrong, it’s awake something in her

୨ৎ | at first, she would just watch you from distance and enjoy how relaxed you seem chuckling to herself that she haven’t had an idea you had it in you

୨ৎ | and when you’d start singing and be even more yourself (i just went with this form the request) she would chuckle more openly and wait for you to notice her starring

୨ৎ | when you do, she would come over to you and hug you letting you go rather quickly not to stop your relaxing and singing

୨ৎ | i can see her even joining you after some time when she feels more comfortable as well cause for me personally, she’s just like that as well

୨ৎ | give her some time and then the two of you will be singing and dancing to taylor swift (or whatever you like to listen!) at 2am in her kitchen making your own eras tour

୨ৎ | clara and odette would accidentally walk on on you two having fun as they were woken up by you just having fun and as much as clara would giggle and join you almost instantly, odette would just roll her eyes and sit somewhere watching you all having fun together, humming the songs herself, she’s not that strong-

୨ৎ | carmilla would enjoy your brave side but i wouldn’t say she would prefer it more than the shy one just… she’s be happy with whatever you give her to be fair

୨ৎ | when that side would come out on the meetings and actually interrupt her somehow she would send you a warning glance but you’d just roll your eyes at her and that would have her IN SHOOCK

୨ৎ | she would try to compose herself and just get on with the meeting trying to keep calm as much as she possibly could

୨ৎ | after it she would somehow scold you for your ‘outrageous’ behaviour but in reality she would be chuckling to herself all the time while doing so and then tell you to keep that side of you for later when the two of you are alone

୨ৎ | and then, depending on what you’d do, depends the next situation

୨ৎ | if you’d just get flustered and all shy again she’d chuckle once again and wink at you leaving the room and going to her office

୨ৎ | but if your brave side would take over you, probably the two of you would end up aggressively making out in her office as she tries her best to scold you more and doing whatever she has in her power to make it sound like she’s actually scolding you and not just teasing you (no matter how much it turns her on)

୨ৎ | after all, carmilla would be amazing with a partner who’s shy at first cause she isn’t her full self at first as well, and she knows better than anyone what’s it like to let you be yourself and enjoy that side of you:) giving her a solid 10/10 what can i do

❀ | okay so i feel like rosie would be SO interested in you just because you’re all shy

❀ | like i imagine her meeting you for the first time at the overlords meeting and her interest would just flow straight out of the roof

❀ | she’d be like “oh who’s that? and why are they so silent and not doing anything?” she would have her eyes on you ALL THE TIME and i mean REALLY all the time

❀ | after a few times you’d notice her gaze and stare at her too but in a more subtle way just looking at her when she’s not looking or so you think

❀ | many meetings later she would straight up come over to you and ask you out and as you’d get all flustered she’d smile to herself and wait patiently for your response

❀ | you’d nod your head agreeing and she would literally clap her hands in happiness telling you to come over to her place whenever you feel like it

❀ | after a lot of doubting yourself you’d find yourself walking around the cannibal town looking for her house and gently knocking on her door

❀ | she would be all bubbly letting you in and already pouring you tea she’s made earlier

❀ | at first your dates would look exactly like that and exactly the same, just gossiping over tea and her trying to dig deeper and deeper into your personality

❀ | don’t get me wrong, she adores your shyness but there has to be something more there, right?

❀ | and finally when you’d stay the night at her place and feel comfortable enough to be yourself more, rosie would catch you singing in her bedroom when she was supposed to be showering

❀ | she would just watch you from the door adoring how relaxed and comfortable you look just having fun when you think no one’s watching you or just that you can actually act like that in her house

❀ | after a quick moment she would clap her hands when the song ends and you’d turn your head towards her immediately and feel your cheeks blush slightly

❀ | but what she didn’t expect was you coming over to her with your hands out asking her to dance and sing with you

❀ | rosie would be stunned at first but quickly shake it off, grabbing your hands and letting you swing her however you want

❀ | the two of you would have so much fun together that you forget she was supposed to be showering and that’s it’s night already and you should rather calm down than getting it on

❀ | but rosie wouldn’t mind that, she would love that side of you and do anything she can to bring it out more often and even in public

❀ | at the same time she would understand that you just let it come out when you’re comfortable and then she would stop pressuring you to be like that among other people

❀ | but still it’s in her nature to try and bring your authentic side whenever she can however she can

❀ | after the whole dance play in her bedroom she would fall onto her bed while laughing and breathing deeply being tired from all of it

❀ | you’d giggle and lay down next to her as she cups your cheek with her hand stroking it softly and giving your forehead a soft peck, smiling to you and doing it even wider than usual

❀ | after all i don’t think she would mind a shy partner but also would adore your more open side as she is very open and confident herself

❀ | i’d give her a solid 9/10 for the bit of her trying to bring it out rather more than she should

[zujime]

─── vi

cw. best friend’s ex! vi, fluff, implied fem reader (no pronouns used tho), acquaintances to lovers, (slight) slow burn, cuddles, sharing a bed, movie nights, pet names mentioned: princess, babe, hun, gorgeous.

note. a lil somthing i conjured up during my period insomnia :)) I'm running on one hour of sleep ya'll mrgh... anyway, should i make another part?

best friend’s ex! vi who you only ever saw in passing when she was still with your bestie. why they broke up was always a topic your friend never really expanded upon but they got off on somewhat good terms—though you do recall the prolonged stares vi would give you when she’d come by.

best friend’s ex! vi who you happened to stumble upon when going to get your lunch at the cafe that was across from your job right after you finished your shift. you remember hearing that she wasn’t really a fan of the food here because “the food ’s just glorified hospital food”, though the silly jab at her comment is caught in your throat when she greets you; silver eyes soft as they flicker between your eyes, scarred lips curling into a shy smirk as the velvety soft sound of her voice reaches your ears.

best friend’s ex! vi who you gave your number to after that same encounter to keep in touch—she’d text you during your breaks to ask silly questions and take your mind off work stress and later call you after your shifts end. and those calls end up lasting far longer than intended, either up until someone falls asleep or till someone’s phone dies.

best friend’s ex! vi who takes three weeks to ask if you wanna hang out, you know, as friends? inviting you over for a movie night at her place on your day off to watch the movies you’d been dying to watch but never got around to. you were able to get through the first two but as soon as the third movie started, you began nodding off before vi felt your head softly fall onto her taut shoulder—your lashes ghosting the exposed skin as you slept peacefully, drooling a little.

best friend’s ex! vi who chuckles slightly at the sight and at the warm, heart-swelling feeling you give her whenever you call, text—hell, whenever she sees your face. she turns the tv off before picking you up and tucking you in her bed before she goes to sleep on the couch.

best friend’s ex! vi who you wake up and walk down the hall to see laid out on the couch, limbs hanging off the couch from under the soft blanket she had on—low mumbles could be heard from her sleeping form, faint yet audible, though they’re cut short as she stretches and slides a hand over her face in hopes of wiping away the sleep, eyelids heavy as she peers at you.

“how long have you been watching me?” her voice still carried the taunt with a softness as she spoke groggily. you feel your face grow warm at her question, despite it being a tease but you brush it off and thank her for letting you stay the night even though none of you intended to have a sleepover. she hums in response before getting up off the couch. “it was like—three in the morning—and i am not some asshole who would’ve just let you go home alone, princess.” the pet name slid so effortlessly off her tongue as she passed by you, to go shower.

best friend’s ex! vi who you find yourself hanging out with more and more, and the pet names she’d give you only seemed to grow—not like you had a problem with it. she’d call you things like babe, princess, and hun far more than she’d ever say your actual name, she even calls you gorgeous, though rather sparingly because sometimes she feels like she’s going a little too far.

best friend’s ex! vi who you refuse to tell your bestie about every time she asks what you’re thinking about whenever you zone out during your monthly outings.

“what’s with that face?” she inquires, giggling a bit at the shamelessly lovesick expression you wore. “what face? what’re you talking about?” you snap back to reality, eyeing your friend anxiously as you listen to her response. “you know, that face people make in those really cheesy romcoms from the 2000s when they’d just met the love of their life or something…” she trailed off, now squinting at you in suspicion. “...are you seeing someone?” “...” “hello?!” “girl, no! i’m thinking about when imma get my mfing food.”

best friend’s ex! vi who you practically live with at this point—because of how often you two have sleepovers, she has a majority of your belongings all around her apartment; your clothes in her closet and dresser, your extra toothbrush and hair products, fav foods/snacks and drinks in the fridge, etc. though, she still insists on sleeping on the couch whenever you stay over despite you stating you have no problem sharing the bed. eventually, she caved—reluctant at first as she squirmed under the comforter to get comfortable beside you until she finally was able to fall asleep. 

best friend’s ex! vi who at first when sharing the bed with you, would often wake up to make sure she wasn’t crowding your space or being touchy in any way. but the moment she woke up to your arms draped over her frame, she softened and decided to just let herself sleep—burying her face in the crook of your neck and holding you close as she slept, yet she still tries to be mindful of her movement so she doesn’t wake you.

best friend’s ex! vi who you realize is a huge sucker for physical affection. oftentimes brushing her hand against yours in hopes of holding it but hesitantly refraining from interlocking fingers when in public. and when the two of you are alone, she desperately leans into whatever you give her—head scratches, movie night cuddles, pinky holding, tracing her tattoos with your fingers, anything.

best friend’s ex! vi who realizes she has feelings for you during one of your typical movie nights, but the look you gave her when the movie ended—eyes reflecting the television screen so prettily as you tilt your head slightly to peer up at her before speaking, but whatever it was you said had completely gone through one ear and out the other as the skin of her ears slowly became a deep red.

"fuck." was the only thought that crossed her mind as she stared at your soft eyes. "vi?" you murmur, a little worried at the expression she wore. but she abruptly stands up before excusing herself and heading to the bathroom.

best friend’s ex! vi who you spent the last few days worrying about—is she ok? is she sick? did you make her uncomfortable? thoughts seemed to race through your head endlessly until she asks if you could come over real quick, through a text.

best friend’s ex! vi who—despite having met multiple people before—gets nervous when you step foot in her apartment. in her eyes, the feeling of her words falling messily from her lips as she spills her guts to you feels weird. but when you creep close to her—lips mere inches from hers as your breaths mingled and eyes heavy-lidded—that feeling dissipates.

best friend’s ex! vi who gets lost in the sea that is your lips as you drown in the feelings she was too scared to show you. callous hands slotting themselves needily on each side of your face, pulling you deeper into the kiss with every shared breath, begging never to part. almost as if accepting her request, you rest a hand against hers, smiling into the searing kiss before finally pulling away for air and softly gazing up at her silver orbs.

© zujime. all rights reserved. do not translate, copy, modify, repost or claim any of my works on any platform as yours.

[bookishdreamer28]

꘎♡━━Idiots in love━━♡꘎

With the one and only,Gojo Satoru 𓆩♡𓆪

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Suguru and Shoko had said that multiple times already. Satoru and Y/N were f oblivious, that they couldn't see what was right in front of them. They were either playing the idiots or they were actually idiots.

The said group of 4, were ready to go grab some food and then head to Shoko's home for movie night. Once they reached their destination, they went to their table and ordered their fave food. While Suguru and Shoko were talking about something she saw today on her way home, Satoru and Y/N were in their own little bubble, for once. Again.

Y/N was showing a funny vid she found to Satoru, but what she didn't noticed, was that all of his attention was on her, and her only.

"Oh look at that, isn't thi-"

"You're so cute."

"What did you just say?" She asked a bit flustered. Did she heard him correctly?

"I said you look like a boot." Satoru exclaimed fast, once he realized he said what he's been thinking, for a long time now, out loud.

"Wha- I look like a boot? This doesn't even make sense, egghead!" Y/N gave him a little slap on his forehead.

"Ow that was mean."

"You just said I look like boot!"

"Yeah well that Was mean tho. You're lucky you're cute." Satoru gave her a small smirk.

"Ugh you're unbelievable." And their bickering started again. Suguru and Shoko on the other head, had to hold their laughter. They just couldn't believe how oblivious they were.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

"Hey I thought of something." Satoru approached Y/N and hugged her side.

"Well that's orginal." Y/N said with a teasing smile.

"Ha ha. Anyways, I want you to tell me...how do I know if I have a crush on someone?" Once he said that Y/N looked at him like he said the weirdest thing ever. Which somehow, it was. why would he even ask her that? Does he actually have a crush on someone? And who is this someone? And why she cares?

"W-well, you think about them all the time, you feel strange when they're around, and then you just- why are you looking at me like that?" Satoru was looking at Y/N, like he had hearts on both his eyes and his cheeks were slightly pink.

"Uh? OH! Ah NoTHinG". He said with a cracked voice.

"😶"

"😳"

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

"Can you tell me already, what in the world you two are doing?" Shoko said to Satoru. The two of them were out for some coffee, since they finished with their work early.

"What exactly you're talking about?" Satoru looked confused.

"Oh don't play dumb with me too. You and Y/N. Why is it that you're not together already?" That made Toru stop on his tracks and look at Shoko.

"WHAT? Where did this come from?? She's my friend. I can't just go and tell her something like this. "

"Is that really all she is to you? Just a friend. Dude, yesterday you told her she had nice lips. Who even says that?" She said chuckling. She could no believe how stupid he was. How stupid both of them were.

"I mean she Does have nice lips th- OK WHERE IS THIS EVEN GOING?" He said shouting a little. And he now looked flustered. Shoko smirked.

"Ok. And how about all the times, you talked about how perfect she is, how she looked beautiful in that dress she wore on our night out, how she has the cutest smile in the world. Friends don't talk about each other that way."

"Yeah yeah I know but that- wait? What do you mean each other?" Satoru asked curiously.

"Oh. Well, Y/N has said a few quite interesting things about you as well, but I'm Not saying anything more. All I'm going to say, is put us all all of our misery and admit it already."

Satoru didn't listen to anything else she had to say, cuz he was to busy thinking about all this. Was there really a chance that Y/N actually felt something for him, too?

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

There was an amazing spot on the beach, where Toru and Y/N were now going. He called her to invite her to spend a day on the beach, along with their friends. Even tho Satoru wasn't really into the idea of having their friends along with them, he didn't really cared since he was going to spend time with Y/N either way.

Once the group arrived to the beach, they started unpacking their stuff and some went to play volleyball and some for swimming. Satoru and Y/N were left behind. The two were now laying on their beach towels, talking about general stuff. While they were talking, Toru's hand grabbed Y/N's soflty and started playing with her fingers. Y/N was flustered and didn't utter a word. In all 3 years they've been knowing each other, none of this kind of affection was a big deal. But now it felt different. Good different.

While Y/N was looking at the sea, thinking about all these, Satoru was staring at her with lovestruck eyes and a soft smile painting his face. She felt his stare but didn't dare to look at him. She didn't understand why they both acted like this. What was even that? Why this tension?

After a few moments, Toru spoke.

"Uhm just to clarify: me holding your hand doesn't like, mean anything by the way. Not, i that way, at least...Unless you want it...ti mean something. I don't mind. That's cool." He felt like he wasn't making any sense right now and he was ready to jump into the water and never get back to the shore.

Y/N was giving him a questioning look right now, and tried to understand what was he even saying. Satoru's eyebrows were scrunched together in deep thought.

"Do you thing that this, us...do you think it could ever be something..more?" Y/N was now starting at him with wide eyes and mouth hanged open.

"Wait us? What do you mean us? Us, together? A couple?" She felt her whole bdoy sweating and she was struggling with words. Satoru noticed that, and brought her hand close to his chest. Where his heart, was beating fast.

"I think I'm falling in love with you. No. I've been in love with you for longest time. A-and I don't know why, but I thought you didn't feel the same way and I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything, but I couldn't resist. I mean, you're just so beautiful and awesome."

Y/N was ready to pass out. All this time, all this flirt, was because he ahd feelings for her?

"Oh wow. Too much to process already. I thought you were just teasing me because you know...we were friends. And this is what you do. And I didn't make any move because I thought you didn't feel the same way."

The two stayed in silence, listening to their friends laughing, the waves. Then, out of nowhere, they started giggling like two idiots. Y/N laid her head on his shoulder, and he pressed his mouth on her hair, as if trying muffle his laughing.

"God we're idiots." She said through her laughter and moved her head to look at Toru. And he was already staring at her smiling warmly.

"You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."

"Oh and now this sounds like you're flirting." She said with a small voice and a smile, while scouting closer to him. As close as possible.

".....I have been trying to do that for three years now." He said with a teasing voice. They both stared at each other, no more words exchanged. Because they didn't need to say anything. Their eyes spoke for them.

"..."

"..."

"Do you want...to kiss?"

".....yeah."

And so, their faces leaned closer and their lips sealed into a sweet kiss. His hands were around Y/N's waist as he pulled her closer, goosebumps swarming every part of her body that he touched. After a while, the kiss broke for a second, a smile stretching Toru's face.

"I love the taste of your lips on mine."

"Then stop talking and kiss me again." Y/N murmured and grabbed his neck and pulled him close to her face again.

He kissed her back again, fingers softly sliding down the side of her face. They were paying no attention to anything or anyone now. They were too lost in their kiss to do that. Too busy to notice their friends looking at them with huge smiles on their faces.

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A/N: Every time I write romance/fluff fics, I never see how mushy and sweet they are, until I get to reread them 😂

Btw, Nanami, Suguru and many more anime characters fanfics are coming, so stay tuned lovelies ♡

And for once again, thank you for liking my posts and I hope you'll enjoy reading this one too!!!

[fairysluna]

what should've been.

Aegon has always been in love with his loyal childhood companion, so when King Viserys proposed a betrothal between them, he's absolutely blissful with the idea, although his happiness wouldn't last long.

MASTERLIST | Epilogue

PAIRING — Aegon II Targaryen x Arryn!Reader.

TAGS/TW — friends to lovers, fluff, angst, death by illness, grief, cursing, teenage!aegon at the beginning, mentions of infertility, 'i hate everyone but you' trope.

AUTHOR'S NOTE — (2nd repost) small context, Aegon was named heir and reader is daughter of Lord Arryn who in this story is Maester of Law in the Small Council. this was a request, and ngl i loved this even tho it broke my heart... pls enjoy!!🤍

WORD COUNT — 7.6k

FEEDBACK, SHARES AND COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!!

Aegon's head was on her lap. 

The girl was leaning back on the Weirwood tree while Aegon was listening to her reading. The book on her hand was about the Andals, and she looked genuinely interested in the lecture while Aegon couldn’t help but to follow the movement her lips did with every word she pronounced. It was hypnotizing, as if they were begging to be kissed by him.

While one of her hands was holding the old book, the other one was on his hair, stroking the strands of it with such delicacy and care that Aegon would have fallen asleep right there, but he forced his eyes to be open only to stare at her, and the flower that he had left in her hair a few minutes ago.

"... The Vale of Arryn is where is located the purest Andals' blood as it was the first place they reach in their arrival to Westeros, and where their invasion started-" 

"So you are a pureblood then?" Aegon asked, teasingly interrupting her lecture. "I'm a pureblood too."

"Pureblood?" She repeated, closing the book and leaving it on the side. "What are you, a wolf?"

"I'm a dragon, love." He sat up and leaned forward, getting closer to her face. “The blood of Old Valyria runs in my veins, and the blood of the Andals runs in yours, perhaps we should mix them and make beautiful pureblood children." He teased her, moving his eyebrows up and down in a suggestive manner.

Lady Arryn laughed loudly at his antics, pushing him away by putting her hand against his chest. Aegon just smiled at her reaction, being mesmerized by the sound of her laughter. Her cheeks soon started blushing thanks to his shameless comment and he enjoyed the view, loving how she would get flustered whenever he said those kinds of things. 

“I thought you did not wish for children.” She remembered him. 

“Oh, I definitely don’t.” He shook his head, “But perhaps the process of making them would allow us to have some fun.”

The girl slapped the Prince’s arm, and he dropped his mouth, offended by the gesture. 

“Aegon!” She scolded him.

“You just slapped the arm of the heir!” He jokingly said, “I can cut your hands for it.”

"Why would you say such a foolish thing?" She spoke between chuckles. 

"It's not a 'foolish thing', it's a proposal." He clarified, "You will be my wife someday, I’m telling you."

"You're too confident." She claimed, "Due to your queer family customs, you will probably get married to Helaena."

His smile vanished almost immediately. His horror face was such a sight; his eyes widened and his eyebrows frowned exaggeratedly while his upper lip curled up. It was a hilarious scene that had the Lady chuckling quietly.

"Don't speak too loud, the Gods might hear you." He warned. "You are giving them ideas to punish me."

"You should stop giving them reasons to punish you." 

"I don't do that!" He said offended. The girl stared at him with a serious semblance. Aegon smirked, "What? Does loving you so deeply be considered a sin?" 

He leaned forward once again, this time he managed to kiss her cheek. The girl looked down, trying to hide her embarrassed face. No matter how many times Aegon would make those comments towards her, no matter how many times he would kiss her not-so-far from her lips; she just could not stop reacting that way. It is as if her body was trying to publicly show her feelings towards the Prince.

“You are a fool, Aegon.” She whispered, feeling his closeness. “Now, step back before someone sees us.”

“Why?” He looked around, and then looked back at her. “There’s no one here and I’m comfortable.”

“My honor would be doubted if they see you this close to me.” She explained with a subtle smile, “Step back, now.”

“But I love admiring your beauty from this angle.” He muttered, getting closer and closer. 

“Aegon…” She pledged, feeling her heart beating faster.

“If you wouldn’t want it, you would stop me.” 

She could feel his breathing crashing against her lips, she could sense the waves of the sound of his sweet voice; she was weak, she was panting as soon as she realized that just one push would be enough to feel his lips against hers for the first time; just a tiny push, but she didn’t have the guts to do it, she was too scared.

His hand fell on her soft cheek, Aegon felt the warmth of it and smirked. Her eyes were glistening and he knew for sure that his were too. He was so close to her that he was able to smell the scent of her hair, so sweet and delicious. 

“I want to kiss you.” He said, brushing his lips against hers. 

“Do it-”

“Prince Aegon.” Said a male voice behind them, interrupting the moment abruptly. Suddenly all the magic was gone.

The Lady pushed him away once more, this time it took him by surprise making him roll over until he laid on his back against the grass. He cleared his throat and composed himself quickly before looking at Ser Criston, who was curiously staring at the both of them. The poor girl was so flustered that she could not even look the guard in the face; she looked at the book in her hands instead.

“Lady Arryn.” He greeted, “The Queen wants to see you both.”

“Both?” She repeated, scandalized. “Why?”

“I’m afraid I’m only a messenger, my Lady.” Ser Criston replied, while offering his hand to her so she could stand up without problem.

“I was going to do that!” Aegon complained, but Ser Criston ignored him. 

The both teens walked behind the guard with the white cloak in silence. Aegon would purposely brush his hand against hers only to make her smile; she would look at him with accomplice eyes in return for his silly action. 

Once they arrived at the Council Room, Queen Alicent, King Viserys and Lord Arryn were waiting for them. Ser Criston bowed swiftly before going to a corner of the room. The three adults were showing serious semblances that put the teens into distress, unsure of what they would say. 

“My King.” Lady Arryn said, bowing. “My Queen.” She repeated the action, and then she went to her father to whom she greeted with a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Why are we here?” Aegon asked.

“We have some important news we would like to share with you both.” King Viserys explained. “Please, be seated.”

They listened obediently, sitting right next to each other. Lady Arryn’s leg was jumping out of nervousness, thinking that someone might have seen all those times when Aegon tried to kiss her and she didn’t push him back, or that some maid could have started a rumor that put her honor in disgrace. She was tormenting herself with her ideas, getting more anxious by the second. Aegon noticed it, and he placed his hand over hers in order to calm her down a little. It worked.

“We all know how close you have been during your entire childhood and even now.” The King explained, “We also know that House Arryn has been loyal to our House since the days of Aegon the Conqueror, which is something I am truly grateful for.”

“We had a conversation during a Small Council meeting about your future as King.” Alicent spoke to his son, “And we have decided that it is time for you to marry with a good and decent Lady that could provide you with an heir.”

“And we have chosen you, Lady Arryn.” Viserys announced. The girl looked over the table to find her father smiling pleasantly, “Your father has just given us his blessing in this union and we are already getting the preparations for the wedding.”

“You’ll be married in a fortnight.” Said the Queen with a kind smile. “I hope this union makes you both equally happy.”

The girl could’t react at first, it felt like a dream. She has been in love with Aegon since she learned what it truly means to love someone; that thin, platinum haired boy has stolen her heart since they first met, and now she was getting married to him. To her Aegon. 

Aegon was also so thrilled about the news that an incredulous smile formed on his face as soon as he heard the news. He looked at his mother and mouthed a subtle ‘thank you’ which made her smile. He was not used to getting what he wanted. He never did, actually. But this, the fact that he would get to spend the rest of his life with the girl he was deeply in love with, was more than enough for him. 

He started to thank the Gods too for listening to his pledges, for giving him a chance to be happy. His heart was beating fast, and he didn’t know if it was because of the excitement or because he felt the eyes of his beloved on his face. He turned around and saw her softened haze and her sweet smile, it was impossible to ignore it.

“I told you.” Aegon said, “You will be my wife.”

Their wedding was beautiful. Lady Arryn wore a beautiful white gown with golden embroidery with the shape of pansies; her favorite flowers. Aegon's eyes were lost with her beauty that day, he could not believe his luck. Seeing her walking down the aisle with her father on her right arm and enormous bright smile on her face was enough for him to realize that he had everything he had ever dreamt of.

They were still too young to understand what marriage and forever truly mean, but they were excited to learn about those things together. 

Aegon could not be separated from his wife during the whole night; he could not stop kissing her in front of everyone, for she was finally his. His sneaky hands were touching her body everytime they would go and dance in the middle of the whole; Alicent would send warning stares at her oldest son,but he would just ignore them, he was way too happy to even care about what she might say about his attitude. Besides, she was already his wife. 

He forbade the bedding ceremony, claiming that the only man who deserves to see Lady Arryn naked is him. When the night arrived, she was too shy and nervous while Aegon was almost jumping with excitement. It was her first time, but not Aegon’s, and yet he felt as if he had never felt pleasure before, for there was no sensation in the world that could’ve been compared with what he felt once he saw her naked for the first time. 

He was soft and caring, touching her with such delicacy that even he surprised himself with it. She was so soft, so beautiful and mesmerizing. Aegon saw himself as the luckiest man in the entire world because he would get to spend the rest of his life contemplating the beautiful woman he has as his wife. 

Four years passed after their wedding night, and both were living through  their twentieth name-day. Their love was still present, as strong as it ever was. Aegon was still smiling as a teenage boy everytime she would enter the room, and she would still blush when he whispered unholy comments in her ear. They were living in a paradise made only for them.

However, they hadn’t been able to conceive an heir yet. 

At first, both of them were not enchanted with the idea of having a child, there was no rush either. King Viserys was still healthy, there was no war, no threats that might put their lives in danger, so they just decided to wait. Lady Arryn would drink her moontea in the mornings after spending the night together and wait until her time of the month would arrive. 

Then, she started to show herself a bit more open about it, after she met her nephews and nieces on a trip to the Eyrie. Aegon and her were married for two and a half years when she started to have desires for motherhood, but she knew that even though she felt ready, Aegon did not feel the same. The pressure of inheriting the crown was too much already, too many responsibilities that would not let him live as freely as he wants; having a child would add another duty in his long list.

“Don’t hate me for it.” Aegon begged after explaining himself to her. “All I’m asking for is a few more years. We’ve been doing fine on our own, we can keep doing it for a couple years more.”

Lady Arryn looked at him with her haze softened, caressing his cheeks with her thumb in sweet movements that would relax his body. His eyes were looking down at her with worry, scared that she might get angry at him for not giving her what she wanted; but she only nodded, accepting his deal with a subtle smile. 

“How could I ever hate you, my love?” She spoke softly. “I will wait, there’s no reason to hurry.” She shrugged, downplaying the matter. “Besides, we are both still young.”

“Are you sure you’re not mad at me?” He asked, insecureness was heard in his voice.

She cupped his chubby cheeks and brought him closer to her so she could kiss his lips in a tender way. Her lips were moving softly and slowly against his, while his hands positioned themselves on the curve of her hips.

“There is no reason to be mad, my love.” She clarified after she leaned back. “This family will also be yours. We both must be ready to start it, not just me.”

And that is what they did.

They were avoiding the constant questions of the Lords and Ladies that would grow curious by the absence of a child after three years of marriage. Aegon would not listen to those comments, but he would realize her reactions towards them; she would put on the fakest smile he had ever seen, and just shrug with a saddened look on her eyes. Even though Aegon did not worry about it, he eventually did. 

In one of their trips to the Eyrie, Aegon saw his lady wife playing with her nephews while her nieces braided her hair. Her smile was so genuine and big that made him whole. He noticed how happy she was whenever she was around those children, and then he realized that his wife has always been so attentive, kind and loving towards him, she never pushed him to do something he did not want to do, not even when she wanted it so bad. 

That is when he decided that it was time. He wanted to make her happy, to make himself worthy of her love, so he told her that he was ready. He wanted to give her a child.

However, the Gods did not seem to be so pleased with the idea, because after months of trying —and they definitely were trying—, she would not get pregnant. 

Lady Arryn was starting to lose hope, feeling guilty about the situation. She married the King’s heir in order to give him an heir, and she was miserably failing in her duty as wife. Aegon consoled her one night when he found her crying beside the bed. Her eyes were closed, she was kneeling and her hands were intertwined; she was praying to the Mother. 

“My love…” Aegon spoke up once he got into the room.

The girl looked up, her teary eyes were enough to break his heart. Her cheeks were glistening with the tears that had previously fallen down her face. Once she saw her beloved husband, she started crying loudly; he immediately kneeled beside her and hugged her tightly, comforting her in her pain.

“I’m so sorry, Aegon.” She whined in his ear. “I’ve tried, I swear it. I’ve been praying to the Mother but she refuses to listen.”

“Sh, sh.” He said while brushing her hair with his fingers. Hearing her voice so broken made him tear up too. He couldn’t handle seeing her in that way. “No need to apologize, my love. This is not your fault.”

“My womb is useless.” She said. “I haven’t been able to give you an heir. It is my duty and I couldn’t fulfill it.”

“Nonsense.” He whispered softly, cleaning the tears on her face and looking at her with a loving haze. “The Maester says we just need to keep trying.”

“He’s been saying it for months, Aegon.” Lady Arryn whined. “Nothing happens yet.”

“We just need to be patient.” Aegon tried to cheer her up. “Besides, it’s not like we are not enjoying the process, is it?”

She tried to smile, but she just couldn’t. The sorrow on her heart was too big, the thought of letting Aegon down was tortuous, heart breaking even. He had been such a loving and good husband, he deserved to be a good father too.

“I’ve failed you.” She whispered. “I’m so sorry, my love.”

“Don’t you ever say that again, y/n.” He warned. “You have never failed me. Never. Not even when I was a foolish boy.” He cupped her face and left a soft kiss on her lips. “You’ve made me the luckiest man alive, and I love you.” 

“I love you too.” She managed to say between sobs and sighs. 

“You were praying now, right?” She nodded. “This is what we are going to do; we, together, are going to pray to the Mother, we are going to pledge a little of her compassion, and we are going to try again.” He held her hands, left soft kisses in them before positioning in a prayer position. “Go on, love.”

Her shaky voice was heard around the room while she started to sing the Mother’s hymn. Aegon closed his eyes and started to pledge. He was not a full believer, he would just pretend to be praying when his mother blesses the table before eating; but now he meant it. He put his whole heart out, offering the Gods thousands of things in exchange for a child for his beloved wife. 

Six full moons later, there was still no positive outcome, and even though the Maester had given her hundreds of teas and infusions to make her more fertile, the results were the same. So Aegon decided to send her to the Vale in order to spend time with the small children of her brothers, thinking that the trip would cheer her up a bit, after so many months of not having good news. Aegon had to stay on King’s Landing in order to attend the Council Meetings, his father was starting to get older. 

Lady Arryn was away for at least a month when she decided to come back in the arms of his beloved, who would escape in Sunfyre’s back to see her at least once a week. He just couldn’t stay away from her for so long. 

When she arrived back in the Capital, Aegon ran into the main entrance with a big smile that soon faded away once he set his eyes on her. He had flown to see her a week ago, and she looked completely different from who he was looking at now. She could barely get out of the carriage by herself, and she fainted when she put her feet on the ground.

Aegon yelled in despair, asking for a Maester while he carried his wife all the way towards the room they shared. He was scared. Her face was paler, there were purple circles around her eyes and her skin was burning. He didn’t know what was going on with her, a few days ago she was just fine.

The Maester was quick enough to wake her up, but the fever was already putting signs of illness on her tired face. Aegon asked the old man a million times about the health of his wife, concerned, desperate and scared. Of course he didn’t have the answers to it yet.

“Is it a babe?” Aegon asked hurryingly. “Is she- is she finally pregnant?”

“My Prince, these are not symptoms of a healthy pregnancy.” The Maester informed, “I’m afraid I should send some letters to the Citadel in order to find out.”

“Well, then fucking do that!” He screamed in his face. “Why are you still waiting?!”

“Aegon…” A soft voice was heard, the man turned around to see his wife waking up and trying to stand up. “Aegon, my love.”

“It’s okay, I’m here.” He rushed to her side and soon grabbed her shaky hand. “What happened? Tell me, what do you feel?”

A maid walked towards her with a wet cloth and a bowl filled with cold water. Aegon grabbed those things and started to clean her face, trying to make the fever go away. 

“We stopped to eat in a canteen on the way here.” She informed him, “The food was delicious.”

“Was it?” Aegon asked with a small smile on his lips, she nodded. “How are you feeling?” He asked. 

“A bit tired.” She said, “And thirsty.”

Aegon hurried to the nightstand and grabbed a cup to fill it with fresh and cold water. He helped her drink it, lifting her chin with two of his fingers and pouring the water inside her mouth. 

“I guess we won’t be able to try for a baby tonight.” She lamented, jokingly. That made him chuckle. 

“We can do that tomorrow night, there’s no hurry.” He leaned to kiss her forehead, feeling how sweaty and hot was her skin. “You must rest now.”

“Will you stay by my side?” She asked, closing her eyes once again. 

“I will always, my love.” 

He did as promised and never left her side. He was there, on a chair by her bed the entire day and the night that followed it. The maids would try to convince him to go and eat something, they promised him that she was in good hands, but he refused. He would not leave her, not like this. 

Her father went to see her, Lord Arryn stroked her hair for a while before saying goodbye as he must travel to Essos in the name of the crown. He thought it wasn’t something serious, he thought that she would be fine within days, but Aegon knew that wasn’t the case. He knew from the beginning that something was wrong.

Alicent went to see her daughter in law, and she brought food for her son. He received it, thanked her for it, but he did not eat it. He was not hungry, he was not tired; he was worried. He had never seen anyone in that state, and something inside of him was telling him it was not normal.

The next day she woke up first. Her head was aching and her body was covered in chills making her shiver with the cold wind. Aegon’s hand was wrapped around hers, and she squeezed it three times to wake him up too. The silver haired man opened his eyes tiredly and soon a groan came out of his throat for the backache that was produced by the uncomfortable and hard chair. He stopped complaining as soon as he saw his wife’s eyes staring at him.

He yawned before giving her a sweet smile, kissing her hand and then her forehead. Her skin was still burning.  

“Good morrow, my sun.” He greeted her, “Did you sleep well?”

“I did.” Her voice sounded weak, but Aegon tried to ignore that. “Did you?”

“I didn’t.” He answered annoyed, “This is a fucking castle, how can it not have comfortable chairs around?”

She laugh weakly.

“You still have a fever, don’t you?” Aegon asked. 

“I do, and I’m cold.” She complained. 

“I know, my love.” He replied, “But the Maester says it’s not good to put so many blankets on you, your fever can go worse.”

“And what about my husband’s arms?” She asked teasingly. Aegon just smiled, “Did the Maester forbid that too?”

Aegon took his shirt out of his body and made his way on top of the thin white bed sheet that was covering the shivering body of his beloved. She quickly cuddled under his arms, and hid her face on his chest, feeling the familiar warmth. Aegon did not care about how sweaty her body was, he just cared about making her feel comfortable and safe. She fell asleep once again; the fever was consuming her body.

The Maester walked in a few minutes before and almost choked when he saw the scene. A scandalized grin took over his wrinkled face and looked at them with horror. 

“Oh, no, my Prince!” He said, pulling Aegon’s arm and forcing him to get out of the bed. 

“What the fuck you think you’re doing?” He raised his voice, Lady Arryn woke up.

“My Prince, you should not be this close to you wife, she-”

“She’s my fucking wife, what did you expect?” He angrily protested. 

“My Prince, whatever illness the Princess has, we are not sure whether it is contagious or not. We cannot put your health at risk.”

Aegon was about to yell again, his face was red with anger because the Maester had woken up his wife. His hands were turned into fists, ready to punch him in the face, but the sweet voice of his beloved spoke first.

“I’m sorry, Maester Orwyle.” She said lightly, “It was my suggestion, not the Prince’s.” 

The Maester walked towards her and she tried to sit up but her arms were too frail to hold her weight, so she fell back onto the mattress. Aegon frowned, but she gave him a smile of reassurance. 

“You still have a fever, Princess.” The Maester pointed out. “How is your body behaving? Have you got any chill sensation? Cold, shivers, or a headache perhaps?”

“All of them.” She answered with one breath. 

The man took a weird looking tool and put it against her chest. He put his ear on it and asked everyone to be quiet. His eyes soon narrowed with worry, but he tried to downplay the situation by hiding his face from the Prince’s intense haze. His attempt failed.

“What?” Aegon asked harshly, “What happened, why would you make that face?” 

“My Prince-”

“What is going on?” He insisted, “Fucking answer me!”

“The heartbeats sound a bit weak.” He explained, “Too slow and too soft for someone for her age.”

“Well, then fucking do something about it!” 

“I’m going to prepare an infusion of herbs for the Princess, that might do well.” He said before leaving the room. 

The two of them stayed alone in the room once again, Lady Arryn looked at her husband and stretched her arm so he could grab her hand. He did, and he kissed it, sitting on the uncomfortable chair beside the bed.

“Don’t be so mean to him, my love.” She said, “He is trying to help.”

“He’s the Grand Maester, if he cannot do his job then we must find another one that can.” She stared at him with a scolding gesture, Aegon sighed, rolling his eyes. “I want the best for you, if I have to travel all over the world to find something to make you feel better, then I will.”

“I’m going to be fine.” She assured him, “In a week I’ll be out of this bed and we can start trying for a child again.”

“Don’t stress your mind thinking about it.” He told her, shaking his head. “We’ve talked about this before; there’s no hurry.”

“But-”

“No ‘but’, my sun.” He interrupted her, “We need to focus on your health first.”

And she nodded, giving an end to the conversation. 

Aegon wished to say his wife was getting better, but it was not the case at all. Everyday it seemed as if someone was sucking the life out of her body. She lost a lot of weight, Aegon was able to see her ribs marked on her chest; she barely ate anything, she did not have an appetite to satisfy. Everyday she would speak less too, and her voice would get breathy as if she was getting exhausted by just saying some words. Aegon then stopped making her answer, she would just nod, refuse or smile at him. It was better that way.

She didn’t have the strength to sit up either, so Aegon had to give her water with the help of a dropper. She would complain every time she swallowed, which alarmed him even more. 

When Aegon thought he was going through the worst, a terrible thing happened. He was ranting about the Maester and how he hasn’t found a solution to her illness even though it has been days since she was in that state. He was furious, spitting words of rage and nuisance while his wife just looked at him with tired glossy eyes. 

And then she started to cough.

At first, he did not pay too much attention to it, thinking that it was just that; a simple cough. But then, the white bed sheets were stained with small drops of blood. Aegon jumped out of the chair and helped her sit up while desperately calling for Maester Orwyle. She did not stop coughing, it was like she was choking on her own blood. 

Aegon’s eyes widened in terror, and an exasperating sensation took over his body when he saw that no one was coming to help her. Where the fuck was everyone? He thought, while he was on the verge of tears. He almost ripped his throat apart while screaming and demanding the presence of the Maester, who minutes later walked inside the room and quickly approached the Princess who had just stopped coughing. 

She had her eyes closed, and it seemed as if she was in pain with every breath she took. 

The Maester gave her milk of the puppy just so she could stop complaining about the tortuous pain her weakened body was suffering, and once he was ready to leave Aegon grabbed his arm with a firm grip, his eyes were teary and filled with rage. 

“What is going on with her?” He demanded an answer, his voice shaking. “Answer me!”

“We don’t know what is going on with her, my Prince.” He stuttered, “We have never seen a case like this before. The Citadel-”

“I don’t give a fuck about the Citadel.” Aegon spat, “You need to tell me what is wrong with her, why is she not getting better? It’s been days!”

“I’ve tried every method I know.” He confessed, “It seemed as if her body is rejecting everything. I’m not sure if she will make it.”

“What the fuck are you saying?” 

“My Prince, your lady wife state is alarming…” He spoke with care, as if she was walking between dragons. “She could not survive-”

Aegon grabbed him by his collar, making him gasp out of the impression. His nostrils expanded and he was breathing fast and hard, he was fuming.

“If my wife dies, you will die too.” He threatened him, “You must save her, I don’t care what you have to do, but you will save her.” 

The old man left quickly, and again it was just him and his dying wife. Aegon felt tears running down his face. He hated seeing her like this, so weak and sick. He would see her eyes for glimpses of time, he would take the opportunity to see them whenever she would open them, and it was enough for him to notice how they were not as shiny as they usually were; they were drained, with so little life. 

Alicent arrived in her room a few hours later, she saw his son grabbing her hand and the dried tears in his eyes. She walked closer to him and caressed his back in a motherly touch that made him shiver.

“What did the Maester say?” She asked worried.

“He doesn’t know what is going on.” Aegon replied with a shaky voice, proof that he had been crying. “He is an incompetent. How the fuck is he even a Maester if he doesn’t know how to heal people?”

“He’s trying his best.” Alicent consoled him, “He had sent multiple letters to the Citadel already, the answers might take too long to arrive.”

“But I need it now.” He muttered. “She is sick now, look at her!” He scalped, making Alicent flinch. “She is burning! The fever is killing her!”

“It is not, my child.” She said, in a failed attempt to calm him down. “Y/n will be fine… you just have to pray for her health and wellbeing. You won’t even notice and she’ll be healthy again.”

Then, Aegon broke. He stood up from his chair beside the bed and went to hug his mother, hiding his head on the crook of her neck and leaving traces of tears all over her green dress. Alicent hugged him back, stroking his hair and whispering words of consolation. 

“I’m scared.” He confessed, whispering. “I can’t lose her, mother. I cannot live without her.”

“You will not lose her.” She said, “She will be fine.”

“She’s not getting better.” He pulled away and looked at his mother. “The Maester even told me, she is too weak already.”

“I’ve seen people living through worse and surviving.”

“You didn’t see what I saw.” He shook his head, “She was coughing blood, mother. Blood!” His lower lip trembled, making his voice sound unsteady. “She’s dying.”

Alicent held his hands, “We should pray together, wouldn’t you like that? Y/n is devoted to the Seven, perhaps this is what she would want.” 

Aegon nodded and his mother gave a sweet kiss on his forehead before going at the end of the bed and grabbing their hands. He gave a glance to his wife, she was sleeping soundly, covered with the bedsheets and her hair was spreaded on her pillow. Aegon whined once he saw her poor state, and soon he forced himself to close his eyes and pray with his mother. 

He begged them. He asked them to return her health in exchange for everything he had. He offered his title; he never wanted it in the first place, he offered his dragon; he could live without him but not without his wife, he even offered his own life because he knew hers was more worthy than his. She did not deserve to die so young, she was always so full of life, always smiling and laughing, so kind and thoughtful. If someone deserved to die it was him, not her; so he begged the gods to take him instead. 

When the next morning came, he woke up in the same chair as always, covered in the same blanket and holding the same hand, but something was different. He could feel it. 

He squeezed her hand three times as usual to wake her up, but she did not squeeze it back. Aegon frowned and tried again; the outcome was the same. He tried not to panic or have an early reaction, so she stood up and quickly sat on the bed, right beside her.

“My love?” He said softly, “My love, is time to wake up.” Aegon softly shook her body, yet there was no answer. “Please, my love, let me see those beautiful eyes. Wake up.”

Nothing. Not even a sigh. 

Aegon grew desperate by the second and the tears soon started to gather in his eyes, knowing the meaning of this. He never gave up, he was still calling her and moving her body begging for her to react. 

“Y/n, please, wake up.” He pledged once again, sobbing, “I need you to wake up, I need you, please! Please!”

His hand went to her hair to caress it, and he felt the coldness of her forehead. All these past days, her skin was burning, but now it was as cold as ice. Aegon widened his eyes and his hands cupped her face.

“No, no, no.” He muttered, sniffing and whimpering. “Please, don’t. Don’t leave, my love. Please wake up.” His tears fell on her pale face, and he sob loudly. “Y/n, my love, please!” He started to yell, “Don’t do this to me! Wake up!”

His shouting started to concern the guard outside the room, he entered and saw Aegon crying on top of his dead wife’s body, holding her head and stroking her hair while he was uncontrollably sobbing. The guard saw what was happening and he was quick to call the Queen and the Maester, who appeared in the room within minutes. 

Alicent gasped once he saw the heartbreaking scene, and soon she started to cry too. Aegon was now holding her body while his face was buried on her chest. He never stopped crying and begging her to wake up. Soft ‘please’ were heard, he was whimpering pledged to her and the Gods, but neither seemed to listen.

“My Prince-”

“Don’t touch her!” He shouted at the Maester once he tried to put his hands on her. “Don’t you fucking dare!”

“Aegon,” Alicent walked towards him, rubbing his back and trying to not sound as if she was crying. “The Maester needs to do his job, please-”

“He killed her!” He accused him, “I will put your fucking useless head on a spike, you idiot cunt!”

“Aegon, that’s enough.” Alicent warned him, “You must let her go, please, my child.”

A group of Silent Sisters entered the room and Aegon’s whole body froze. The ladies started to walk towards the bed while Alicent was pulling him away from it. He started squirming under his mother’s arms, not wanting to be separated from his beloved.

Soon, two guards entered the room and grabbed his arms, forcing him to leave his wife.

“No! No!” He started to move harshly, trying to be set free. “Please, don’t take her! Please! Mother, please!”

“I’m so sorry, my child.” His mother answered.

Aegon saw how her face was covered with the white sheet, and how the Silent Sisters grabbed her body and took her out of the room, he was still fighting against the strong grips that were holding him back. 

“Let me go! Please!” He begged again.

Once the Silent Sister left and the bed was empty, the guards let him go. He felt onto his knees, seeing the shape of his wife still marked on the mattress they used to share and the tears came back. His mother stood by his side, and he hugged her hips gripping the gown of her dress and moaning out of pain. 

He lost her, the love of his life was gone and there was no one to blame. The Stranger looked back at him with a mocking face and took his wife, leaving him completely alone. 

Hours later he found himself staring at her body being wrapped in bandages in order to realize the funeral. He had one bottle filled with wine in his hand, and a piece of bread in the other. He was stumbling because he was already drunk. The Silent Sisters were working, and Aegon was lost in his own grief, looking at the corpse of his wife. 

He did not care if she was not a Targaryen, her funeral will be under the Old Valyrian traditions. 

“Aegon, you should not be here.” 

Aegon did not answer, he did not even bother to look at his mother who just arrived on his side. 

“It’s bad luck to see the face of the dead, we cannot be here.” She warned.

He scoffed, taking a large sip from his bottle and then taking a bite from the piece of bread in his hand. He shrugged as if he did not care. And in some way, he didn’t.

“I don’t give a shit.” He muttered, “They have already taken everything from me. They may as well take me if they are merciful enough.”

“Don’t say those things.” Alicent said. She turned around to not look at the corpse anymore, facing his child whose eyes seemed to be stuck on her wife’s body. “Y/n would not like you to die.”

“And what do you know?” He asked mockingly, “You knew nothing about her. None of you did!”

“Aegon, please be quiet. The Gods-”

“Fuck the Gods.”

“Aegon!” She scolded him.

“No, no. Fuck them.” He spat furiously, his eyes were a mixture of sadness and anger. “I begged them, mother. Me and y/n begged them for their mercy.” He started crying again, “When we wanted a child, we begged every fucking night to the Mother, to have a little of compassion towards us and give us the child that we deserved- that she deserved!” He sniffed, looking now at his mother. “Then I begged all of them for her life. And none of them heard me, none of them did!”

“My child…” She tried to hug him, but he took a step back. 

“They made me believe that I was safe.” He muttered, “They made me meet her, love her and marry her. They gave me this  happiness just so they can steal it away!” 

He laughed, a bitter laugh that made Alicent sink in her place. Aegon took the last sip from his cup and threw the bottle away, not caring about the uproarious sound it would make once it fell onto the ground. Then, he turned to his mother once again.

“I couldn’t-” He sighed, trying not to cry. “I couldn’t even give her a child.” He scoffed, “It was all she ever wanted and I couldn’t give it to her.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Aegon.” She tried to console him once again. 

“I have nothing left from her.” He said bitterly, “Not even a child that would help me to remember her face. Nothing at all.”

He threw the piece of bread in his hand on the floor, and he left for the gardens; the place where they were always gathered during their youth. 

Aegon saw everything with nostalgic eyes filled with tears. His head was aching, his throat too. He had a watery nose thanks to the tears and his heart was feeling shattered. He looked around, finding the tree where they always used to read, the benches where Aegon used to sit down while Lady Arryn would braid his hair. Although the flowers were his breaking point. 

He walked close to the small mauve pansies that she always loved. He would always steal one and put her on her hair every time they came to the gardens. She would blush and laugh nervously for the gesture, but he always ended up receiving a small kiss on his cheek for it. That’s why he always did it.

He took one and looked at it with attention, remembering the same petals on her white wedding gown during the happiest day in his life. 

He couldn’t help but cry at the memory.

+

The day of the funeral Aegon did not speak with anyone. Lord Arryn and his other sons —y/n’s brothers— arrived within a week, and then everything was ready for the ceremony. 

Sunfyre was in the hills, waiting for the signal of his rider to set fire on the wrapped body. They were all expecting for Aegon to give a speech, to say something about the wife he claimed to love so deeply, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was too broke, too lost in his grief.

He had a small mauve pansy in his hand, Aemond had told him that it represented the lost love which gave a whole different meaning to it. Aegon heard the speech of his father in law, who was devastated for not taking her illness seriously and leaving her without his company on her last days. Aegon could hear the guilt in his voice, and he would be grateful that at least he was with her during her last breath. 

When the time arrived, everyone went silent. Aegon had to pronounce the word, but instead he walked toward the body and stood beside them, letting himself cry in agony for his suffering. Minutes passed and he found himself staring at it for too long. 

He took the flower and left it where her ear was supposed to be. This time, however, he did not feel her soft lips against his cheek.

“I will always love you, my sun.” He whispered before walking back to where the rest of the people were. 

Aegon stood beside his mother, who rubbed his back in the instant he was close. He took a deep breath and saw the body one last time. He tried to imagine a life without her, without her smile and laughter, without her rosy cheeks and nervous muttering. He couldn’t. A life without her seemed almost impossible.

He imagined a future with her instead, and a thousand pictures would come to his mind. Her raising a child that would be as beautiful as her, her dancing with him on their children's name day, her having long conversations at night with him. He thought so easily about those things because that was what should’ve been; a long life by her side.

But now he was standing in front of everybody, crying and sighing with an agonizing pain on his chest. His voice refused to come out in the first two tries, but on the third, he cleared his throat and accepted his miserable future, without the woman he so deeply loved.

He took a deep breath, and finally said,

“Dracarys.”

[archangeldyke-all]

Ok listen LISTEN

I have so many plushies like I have an entire corner of my room dedicated to them. My question to you, lovely, is what would Sevika's initial reaction be? Seeing a ton of plushies piled up in a corner.

Elephants are my favorite plushies and I collect them so the majority of the pile is just elephants with names that all start with E LMAO

thats SO cute okay listen.

men and minors dni

at first she'd be a total hater. it's sevika, she's gotta keep up her tough girl act. i'm picturing it like: you guys are making out and you invite her to your room to take things a little farther (wink wink.) she's eagerly following behind you as you guide her to your room, hands fondling you wherever she can reach, distracting you to the point where it takes you two or three tries to open your door.

you manage to swing open the door eventually, dragging her to your bed, only for her to pause halfway through your room. you turn around to see what's got her frozen, and see her eyeing the plushie corner. you huff.

"don't be rude." you say, already knowing your girlfriend's cooking up some kind of half hearted tease. she turns to you with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

"those your friends?" she asks. you scoff.

"as a matter of fact, yes. not like you'd know anything about having friends." you spit back. she rolls her eyes and chuckles, but leaves it at that, much more interested in you than your plushies at the moment.

it doesn't mean that's the last you'll hear about it tho.

sometimes she'll stop in the middle of sex to look over her shoulder at the pile of plushies. "it's like they're watching us. fucking perverts."

sometimes to piss you off she'll plop herself down right in the middle of the pile. "you're squishing them!" you complain. she just rolls her eyes and pulls you down to join her for cuddles in the surprisingly soft pile of animals.

after enough time together, she knows all the names for your elephants-- but she refuses to use the proper names.

"quit sitting on top of eileen!"

"eggo is fine. she's a comfy cushion."

or

"babe can you pass me ellis?"

"here's edgar." she'd say, passing you the correct plushy.

she just does it to get a rise out of you.

she won't admit it out loud, but you can tell she thinks the pile is cute. you've caught her straightening out a plushy that's fallen over a few times. on the rare occasion that she's sleeping in your bed without you beside her, she'll use your biggest plushie to cuddle with. you have a picture of it on your phone you're saving in case you ever need to blackmail her.

[citruswriter]

Second Meeting/Becoming Close

Listen In With Me! ↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ

A/N - Fuck it. Throwback to my Quotev/WattPad days. Time to expand this into boyfriend scenarios. Also I'm saying "getting close" rather than "becoming friends" bc uh... ya boy is aplatonic. So like... fight me.

Previous Part

Stepping out of the shower, you dried off. Today had been a long day at work and you desperately needed to clean off. Your phone vibrated, checking it you saw a text message from April. "Hey! Wanna hang out at the lair tonight? The boys have been asking about you. Guess they like you!" The text read. Contemplating your options, you shrugged your shoulders and texted her back. "Yea sure. Lemme get dressed first tho. Took a shower." Walking to your room to pick an outfit, your phone buzzed again. "Long day I'm assuming? You remember who to get there?" You chuckled softly and texted back, "Girl you have no idea. And yea, I remember. See you soon". Blinking softly, you wondered how bonding with the boys would turn out. You hadn't exactly met another mutant, let alone four to five other mutants. You were nervous, but also excited...

━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━

Leonardo x Reader 🧡

Warnings: Reader is a wolf neko, I do that cheesy shit where I make Reader wear the turtles signature color, Reader had golden eyes.

Pulling on some black cargo pants, a blue tank top, and some black combat boots, you snagged your phone and house keys. Snagging your grey jacket, you tied it around your waist before grabbing your bike and carried it downstairs. The streets were busy but had luckily begun to cool some as the sun set neatly on the horizon. Pedalling down the winding streets, it wasn't long before you reached the abandoned sewer. You looked for a spot to chain your bike up before lifting the heavy manhole cover. Crawling inside like you had the other day, you found your way to the lair much easier than you had the other night. "Hey guys," you spoke up as you entered. Mikey sprang up to greet you, "Heyyyyyyy dude!" He exclaimed, making you smile up at him. He shook his head softly and pointed at you, "Still not used to seeing those things". He said, referring to your fangs. "And I'm not used to seeing four mutant turtles all over six feet but here we are," you retorted and Mikey couldn't help but laugh. "Fair enough. Oh do you want some pizza? We got four cheese, pepperoni, and Hawaiian!" He offered. You laughed and grabbed a plate, snagging the pizza slices of your choice.

From the mediation room, Leo heard your laugh. Opening his eyes, he blinked a few times and stood from his seated lotus position. "By the way, where's blue?" You asked and he couldn't help but chuckle. "Right here, (Y/N)," he replied, coming into the living room. "Why? You miss me?" He teased softly and you scoffed, rolling those golden eyes of yours. "As if. Just wanted to know where your stuck up ass was," you said back but he saw the way your tail wagged more when he entered the room. "Sure thing blossom. But I think your tail disagrees with you". You couldn't help but sputter out a flustered denial, grabbing your tail and pouting. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed a water bottle and chugged it down. "You know, it's not a crime if you don't hate me," he said, gently pushing your head. You flattened your ears and glared at him. "I don't know, Leo. I think the police would disagree," you joked back and he could help but laugh. "Cute. But scoot. My turn to kick your ass at this game," he said, taking the controller out of Mikey's eyes. Perking back up, you grinned at him. "Ohoho. Your fucking on, blue." The next few hours were filled with the two of you jeering and shit talking each other as you two played against each other.

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Raphael x Reader 🧡

Warnings: Reader is a cat neko, flirting

Snagging your black shorts, a band tee, and red converse you quickly dressed before grabbing your house keys and running outside. The sun was setting, so it was much more cool outside, making you opt out of your typical bike ride and instead take a relaxing walk. Reaching the manhole, you wasted no time shimmying down and jogging down the sewer halls. "Sup losers," you called out as you walked in, beelining it to April, to share your exhausting day. "Girl I need to tell you about today. So this woman came in with her three kids right? Which is like, fine and all but oh my fucking god were they hyper. Like, legit screaming and running around. At one point, one of the kids ran into the kitchen, so naturally, I picked the kiddo up and he spewed all into my hair." You shivered and April scrunched up her nose in disgust as you recounted your reason for your shower.

"Ewwww. What the fuck? So that's why you took a shower?" She questioned and you nodded. You nearly jumped out of your skin as you felt a hand gently grab your tail. "Sounds like a rough day. Poor kitten," Raph's gruff voice said with fake pity. You snatched your tail out of his grasp and turned to look at him, leaning against the table you had previously been bent over. "The way I oughta claw you right now," you spat back with a glare. "As if you could hurt me, kitten." He challenged, leaning down to be closer to your level, and you unleashed your claws. "Wanna test that statement? I'll add to that scar on your lip," you challenged back. "I genuinely can't tell if you two are flirting or fighting," you heard Donnie say off to the side. You laughed and ducked away from Raph. "Oh please. If I was flirting, this man would know. I'm just bullying him." You giggled, patting Donnie on the arm in reassurance as you passed by him. "Bullying isn't very nice, (Y/N)," Mikey chipped in with a fake pout, knowing that you weren't actually bullying his brother out of malice.

You tilted your head back in a laugh and Raph couldn't help but grin at seeing you getting along well with his brothers. "I'll bully you next, Mikster" you playfully challenged, dropping into a loose fighting stance, tail swaying softly. Mikey played along and dropped into a fight stance back. "Time and place," he shot back. But before the two of you could begin your play fighting, Raph piped back up. "Maybe don't fight in the living room? We don't need Leo scolding us," he said, glancing over to his brother in blue. Leo only rolled his eyes. "You're no fun, Raphie." You pouted back, crossing your arms with a pout and flattening your ears. "Oh I'm Raphie now, huh babydoll?" He teased and you scoffed. "Oh puh-lease." But you grinned at him none the less. "Welp. I'm going to work out. If ya wanna continue to annoy me, feel free to join me," he offered, walking off.

Ears flicking, you followed him. "Sure. Maybe you could use the extra weight to lift". You said and Raph shook his head. "Sure kitten. Hop on." He got himself comfortable on his bench press chair. You climbed up, somehow sprawling yourself across the bar without slipping off of it. He was originally joking but he wasn't going to back out now. At some point, April poked her head in to check on you only to see Raph lifting you on his bar still, your tail gently wrapped around his wrist.

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Donatello x Reader 🧡

Warnings: Reader is a moth, Reader is a bit shy, Reader is wearing a dress (wear the damn dress John 🔪)

Humming to yourself, you ordered yourself an Uber before picking out a simple purple dress to wear and brown flats. Snagging your house keys, you made your way down to your Uber. Before long, you had reached your destination. You waited for your driver to leave before stalking down the alleyway beside your "destination" and slinking down to find your real destination. "Hey boys!" You squeaked out and Leo popped out of somewhere, ruffling your hair while being careful to not touch your antenna. After greeting all the boys and April, you beelined it to Donnie's lab, he was apparently working on some big project. "Hey Donnie," you said casually. Despite speaking softly though, this man still almost jumped out of his skin. Taking a breath to calm himself, he looked over to you only to find you giggling at his reaction. "That wasn't funny," he said, tone embarrassed and you simply fluttered up to his level. "Leo said you were working on something," you said, silently inviting him to tell you about his latest project. And talk he did. You fluttered around the lab as he asked you to grab certain tools.

"I'm so sorry. I-I haven't offered you a seat yet," he said suddenly, standing up to get you a chair to sit in. You gratefully sat in the chair, curling up in it and resting your wings. "W-Why didn't you ask for a chair sooner?" He questioned and you shrugged your shoulders. "Well you were talking about your project, I didn't want to interrupt. Besides, I was enjoying getting tools for you and helping," you replied, antenna twitching softly. "You think I can look at your wings today?" He questioned gently and you tilted your head in thought. "Hmmmm. Maybe not today. Sorry, had a bad day at work. Don't exactly wanna be touched". You replied and he nodded in understanding. "I can understand how that feels. I get like that too".

He stayed silent as you began to tell him about your day, occasionally looking over at you and nodding to indicate that he was still listening to you. Eventually, you laid your head down on his table, watching him work as the two of you sat in silence. "You don't have to stay in here, you know," he said gently and your wings fluttered softly. "No I like it in here. It's soothing, watching you work." You replied, sighing deeply. You couldn't help but notice his happy little smile as he focused on his work once more. At some point you forced him to take a break, getting juice and pizza for the two of you. The two of you talked softly, you didn't really understand half of what he was saying but neither of you minded.

"Hey nerds," Raph's voice penetrated the calm environment that had comfortably wrapped the two of you and you both turned to look at him. "We're about to watch a movie, wanna join?" He offered and you turned to Donnie, looking up at him hopefully. He laughed softly, realizing you wouldn't go unless he did. Sighing, he got up and stretched. "Sure thing". You let out a moth squeak, which he couldn't help but internally melt at. You padded after him excitedly, snuggling up to him when he finally got comfortable on the couch. "Is this ok?" You whispered up at him when you felt him stiffen. "Yes it's ok. I'm just... not used to it. I'm sorry." He confessed and you nodded drawing away from him slightly to hopefully make him more comfortable but he gently tugged you back in without saying anything. "How cute," April teased and you shot her a flustered glare.

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Michaelangelo x Reader 🧡

Warning: Reader has white feathered wings, Reader has long pointed elf like ears, flirting on Mikey's end, Reader wears a bra (ur wearing the bra, idc if ur flat chested)

You chose some dark orange sweatpants, a black sports bra, a grayscale jacket that was unzipped, and black some high top boots. Snagging your keys, you grabbed your bike and lugged it down stairs. You took your time cycling to the sewer, cool evening air breezing against your skin. When you finally made it to the manhole, you chained up your bike and jumped down. Stuffing your hands in your pockets you waltzed in. "Hey April," you said, nodding her way. "Heard you had a rough day, angelcakes," Mikey's voice came from the couch and you went to go sit down beside him, fluffing your wings softly to make yourself more comfortable. "Some kid puked in my hair. So I had to shower practically as soon as I got home," you muttered and Mikey scrunched up his face in disgust. "That's disgusting. But at least you're all squeaky clean now!" He said, nudging you softly with his shoulder. "Want something to eat? We got pizza." He offered and you brightened, helping yourself to the food in front of you.

"Need your wings preened again?" Mikey asked after a few minutes of silence as he gamed. You raised a brow and laughed softly, "Enjoyed preening me?" You questioned, tone light and playful. Mikey shrugged. "I don't know. It kind of felt nice to take care of you in such a way. I'm assuming it's not exactly something you let everybody do," he replied, glancing over at you for a brief moment and grinning. You laughed softly and shook your head. "No I don't. Honestly I was joking when I asked you to preen my wings. But you seemed so eager to help that I just kind of, let you. Only other people who've preened me are my parents and April on occasion. But she's not exactly too good at it." You heard April give a "hey!" from across the room and you and Mikey couldn't help but laugh. "But to answer your question, no. They don't need preened. I wouldn't mind a message though." You said, looking up at him. "Your insides or outsides, angel?" He questioned and you almost choked on your pizza in shock. "Michelangelo!" You scolded but you were smiling all the same and he couldn't help but absolutely loose it.

"I'm sorry, I had to," he said before setting his controller down to grab one of your arms, thumb messaging at your wrist. You almost instantly moaned and let you head roll back in delight, ears drooping in relaxation. "Maybe I can make you loud moaner," he teased and you took the liberty of taking your free arm to smack his chest. "I'm going to kill you, Mikey. I swear," you giggled out, wrapping your wings around you gently. "Ok, ok. I'm sorry, (Y/N). I'll stop," he said. Twenty minutes later, you had fallen asleep on the couch from the message he had given you. Mikey returned to his video games, chuckling and already brainstorming new ways to fluster you.

Anyways so that's that. It's cringy, I know. Trust me, I know. Lmfao. Enjoy tho.

[canirove]

Friends, lovers… and an orange | Chapter 7

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"Girls, can you please hurry up? It's the last day of the year and we are gonna be late!" Mason's dad said.

"It's always the same with them" Adele's dad sighed.

"Dinner has already started, we are gonna miss all the good stuff!"

"We are here, stop complaining" Toni said, walking into the room.

"Holy shit" her husband whispered when he saw her. "Forget about everything I just said. The wait was worth it."

"Thank you" she smiled.

"What about me? Don't I look good?" Elizabeth said, doing a twirl in front of her husband.

"The most gorgeous woman ever" he replied.

"And Adele? Where is she?" Mason asked. 

"Here" she said, joining the others. "I had to go back to change my shoes. I told them I can't walk in heels, but they don't listen."

"You can, you just don't want to" her mum said.

"Whatever."

"Mason... Mase, hey" Luca said, elbowing him in the ribs. "Are you checking out my sister?"

"What?" he replied, his eyes still on her while she argued with her mum.

"Bro, you definitely are checking out Adele."

"No, I'm not."

"You are blushing" Alex pointed out.

"I'm not blushing or checking out Adele, shut up. Both of you" he said, walking away from them and joining his parents. But he was doing both things, and especially checking out Adele. She looked stunning that night, it was impossible not to look at her. 

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"Three, two, one... Happy new year!" everyone in the room screamed.

"Happy new year, guys!" Adele said, raising her flute.

"Happy new year!" Luca, Mason and Alex replied before drinking.

"I think I'm gonna need a refill. This champagne is so good."

"Careful there, Addie. Remember what happened the last time you drank too much champagne?" Mason teased her.

"You ended up singing ��wannabe” by the Spice Girls in front of everyone" Alex laughed.

"Oh dear, I had forgotten about that" she chuckled.

"Ok, enough talking about my sister. It's time for our new year kisses" Luca said.

"Our what?" she laughed.

"Luca and I always share a kiss to start the new year. It brings good luck" Alex explained. 

"You do what?" Mason said, almost choking with his drink.

"This" he said, cupping Luca's face and kissing him.

"Oh my god" Adele gasped.

"Now it's your turn."

"Hell no" she said.

"We could do with some good luck, tho" Mason said.

"And it will be just a peck" Alex shrugged.

"I said no."

"C'mon, Addie. It's just a peck! Scared you may like it and not be able to stop?" Luca teased her.

"Ha ha ha" she replied, rolling her eyes.

"One kiss, Adele."

"Nope."

"Kiss, kiss, kiss!" Luca started chanting.

"Shh! Someone could hear you!" Adele said, hitting her brother.

"Ouch, that hurt! But Addie, they are too busy drinking, dancing and also kissing. No one will be looking at you."

"He's not gonna stop until we do it" Mason said.

"He won't, no" Adele sighed.

"Then?"

"Ok, fine. But just a peck."

"Just a peck" Mason smiled. "Ready?"

"I guess" she said. But she wasn't ready. At all.

Suddenly, Mason was too close to her, his hands cupping her face. And then... Then he was kissing her, and it definitely wasn't a peck. It was a proper kiss, one that made her feel goosebumps all over her body. 

"See? It wasn't that difficult" Mason said against her lips. 

"Yeah" she whispered. 

"You can let go now, guys" Luca laughed. "Though if you want to keep kissing for the rest of the night, you know we won't oppose to it."

"Shut up" Adele said, taking a step back and finally snapping out of whatever had just happened between her and Mason. 

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"Happy new year, Addie."

"Happy new year, Mase" she yawned when they met in the hallway.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Ugh, like a baby. I'm gonna miss that bed when we go back home."

"You can always ask where it is from."

"I actually could, yes" she laughed. "Happy new year, everyone."

"Happy new year" hers and Mason's parents said when they joined them for breakfast.

"Why are you looking at us as if we have grown another head?" Mason chuckled.

"Guys, did you... Did you sleep together?" Elizabeth asked.

"What?" they both said at the same time.

"Well, you just walked in together laughing and smiling. And after what happened last night..." Toni said.

"Last night? What do you mean, mum?" Mason asked.

"I think they are talking about this" Alex said behind him, showing him his phone.

"Mason Mount and Adele Turlington caught sharing a new year kiss." 

"You gotta be kidding me" Adele said. "How did they manage to get that photo?"

"Looks like someone recognised you and followed you around. There are more pics from last night."

"Guys... You know you can tell us anything, right?" Elizabeth said. "You can trust us."

"There is nothing to tell, mum. We weren't kissing."

"Weren't you?" her dad chuckled.

"I mean, yes but no. It was just a joke, one of Luca's stupid ideas."

"We always share a kiss to welcome the new year because they say it brings good luck, and we asked them to do the same" Alex explained. "It wasn't anything serious."

"The press have taken it out of context like they do with everything. It didn't mean anything, right Mase?" Adele said, looking at him. 

"What?" he asked. 

"The kiss from last night. It didn't mean anything, it was just a joke."

"Yeah, yeah" he muttered.

"Mason, love… Are you ok?" Toni asked him.

"Yeah, yeah" he repeated. "Just hungry."

"You sure?"

"Yes" he smiled. Though his mum knew that it wasn't an honest smile. Her, and Adele. Something was definitely going on with him. 

[blair-the-juggalho]

Hello!! I absolutely love your TWDG writing. And I have been having a bad day bc my tooth broke and I'm stressed -_-

Could you possibly make a "TWDG S4 characters when a bubbly Y/N is upset/sad"? ^_^

Hey yeah ofc! And I’m so sorry I hope your day gets better lovely :(

Also I did this as platonic lmk if ya want me to redo it idm! 😭

Another sorry if there’s any spelling mistakes it’s half three am and I’m tired

Also side note, sorry I’ve been like gone a lot of stuff happened and I lost intrest in the game but it’s kinda coming back I’m just getting use to writing again so if this sucks I’m SO SORRY 😭😭😭💖💖💖

TWDG S4 characters when a bubbly Y/N is sad

Violet

She’d find you a bit strange and would tease you but in honesty she loves how bubbly you are

Whenever life gets her down all she has to do is spend some time around you and she feels better

She notices instantly when you’re upset tho and will give it a few minutes before coming up to you

“Hey. What’s up? Why are you all depressed?”

But fr tho that’s her job 😞 LMAO SORRY

But you’ll open up to her and she silently nods along

Whatever it is she gets it

“Yeah…it sucks sometimes…”

She won’t say much but she offers to go somewhere more private so you two can chill and just complain to each other

She’s not all that good at comfort but she’d really try

When your back to normal she’d have a small smile on her face

“Ya happy again now?”

She’d be a bit upset if you’d want to go right back to being around everyone else but she’d join you anyway cuz she’s just happy to see you smile again

Mitch

He doesn’t really get it I mean how can anyone be happy living like this? I mean sure it’s manageable at times but it still sucks

He’d never on his life say it but he does secretly enjoy how happy you are even if he’d tease you for it

When he sees you upset tho I’m so sorry but this man is useless here

He doesn’t notice at first but after Willy or someone points it out he picks up on it and worries a bit

However he just hopes you cheer up on your own and doesn’t say anything

But he does watch out for you in the corner of his eye

He just assumes if it’s really bad you’ll come to him

Cuz he won’t come to you unless your both alone

When you do tell him what’s up he’s still not very helpful

“Damn…that sucks..”

He does care he’s just rubbish at showing it

He will let you stay with him but be warned you’ll both be sat in silence if you’re not in a talking mood

But when you do cheer up he’s relived

again, not that he’d voice it

“Happy again huh?”

Marlon

Marlon finds you to be a breath of fresh air, he always has a gentle smile on his face when your around

He’s happy that you can bring the others up too cuz a happy group is a good group yk

Plus you keep him calm too

So when he sees his usual happy friend down in the dumps he’s very confused

What happened to you?

He watches you for a bit then walks over to you and asks if you’re ok and if ya wanna talk

Hell take you up to the office and will listen to you explain why your upset

He listens and offers some advice and comfort

He’ll let you stay with him for a bit and if you like dogs yk he’ll get rosy to give you some comfort hugs and all

He just has normal conversations with you and will say that he hopes you cheer up soon cuz what would they all do without your positive ways

When you cheer up he’ll have a big smile and if your ok with it he’ll pull you in for a hug and definitely does that back pat and rub (yk the that you do to a friend or family to either be like heyy! Or ok that’s enough now)

Louis

HELLO YOUR BASICALLY THE ONLY OTHER PERSON THEIR WHO CAN MATCH HIS ENERGY

Like he needs to see you all happy and lively because that makes him more happy and lively too!

And this mf he instantly knows when you’re down and he will come up to you and just say “aww what’s wrong (name)? You gotta turn that frown upside down!” He might even pull an over the top sad face too

Depending on what kinda person you are this either kind of works or makes it so much worse

If he does realise that he’s not helping he panics a bit like

“Oh no- they really are sad…what do I doooooo?? This is badddd…”

He’s not all that good in serious situations and will try healing you with comedy and laughter

He’ll tell jokes, tease the others at Ericsson’s

Anything to cheer you up

Heaven forbid the moment you actually do cuz this mans energy is amplified by 100

“is that a smile I see?? So mx grumpy finally cheered up? Ha well it seems I’m just the best at curing sadness.” He acts all cocky but he’s just joking

He’s very pleased to see ya back to your regular self again

Aasim

Aasim always found it curious how someone so happy could exist in a world like this

But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it

He can’t match your energy but he does support your cheerful ways

He won’t voice it but you do cheer him up when he’s having a bad day

he notices when you’re upset very quickly n all it’s very obvious lmao

He’ll give it a few minutes but after a while he’ll cave and awkwardly walk over to you

“So…you ok? You seem upset…”

You tell him what’s up and he listens

He either gives you advice or will empathise with you saying he gets it

He just kinda silently sits next to you cuz he doesn’t really know what to say

You both just kinda sit around for a while

he won’t really offer it out loud but he doesn’t mind giving you a hug if it will cheer you up

He just waits for you to feel better and is thankful when you do

(Sorry but damn this man I just can’t imagine he’d be much help here that sounds horrible Ik ik 😞)

Omar

This man is grateful that you’re the way you are even if he doesn’t voice it a lot

He’s also a silent observer so when he saw you where upset he just quietly watched you

I think he either doubts how good he is at comforting or he’s too preoccupied but he’ll still watch you for you

He’s kinda hoping it’s just a off day and you’ll perk up again in a while

He waits to see if anyone else will check up on you or if you’ll come to him

But if enough time has passed and both of those didn’t happen he’ll slowly make his way over to you

He doesn’t say much but he listens to you

The few times he does speak it’s either reassurance or advice

He will stay with you for as long as he can and if he had to start cooking again he’d let you stand next to him while he does so

When you cheer up again he wont say much but he has a smile on his face

Ruby

Ruby fully appreciates your bubbly ways and she will usually match your energy when she can

She really thinks you totally brighten up Ericssons!

But today you were acting totally different and she could just sense it

Like there was a shift in the air she just picked up on before she even saw you

Since she gives me like mother friend vibes she totally instantly goes over to ya

Are you ok hun? Ya seem down? What’s happened? Do ya need some space?

She’s there and she will listen to ya 100%

She does whatever she can to be supportive and she might tell a few rubbish puns to make you smile again

She’ll get all protective of ya too like if anyone tries to annoy ya (which I doubt anyone would but yk just incase) she will get so mad at them she’s shout at them and scold them so much

She’ll either stay by you till you cheer up or will give you the space if you need it but the moment she sees that smile she loves so much and that cheery personality she adores she’s matching that happy face

Brody

This girl loves how bubbly you are it’s such a nice change of pace from the usually rubbish day to day apocalypse life

You don’t know how much you can cheer her up and make her feel more relaxed

So she was super quick to notice that you where sad

Huh that’s (name), why arn’t they all happy?? Where’s that lovely smile gone??

I don’t think she’d straight away ask if you where ok cuz maybe you needed some space? I mean it’s normal to get upset now a days but this isn’t like you

She’d ask the others like Marlon if they noticed that you’ve done a total 180

She’d still stay put but keeps a close eye on you and after a few minutes of watching you mope around she’d walk up to you and ask if you where ok

After you tell her what’s got ya so bummed out she’d do anything to get that smile back

She’d listen to you, give you advice if you wanted it, she’d give you a hug literally anything!

She’d also try to distract you by planning some made up road trip (a beach trip if I remember correctly??)

She needs to see her friend go back to their bubbly self 😞

Once you do cheer up she just sighs in relief man she’s happy you’re back to normal lmao

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Hey everyone.

Maybe some of you have noticed that my writing's been super sporadic since like June (if you haven't that's very okay) but I just wanted to write a little bit about what's been happening in my life because it's had a pretty big impact on my writing.

It turns out that I'm actually ace.

So, if you happen to notice an uptick in me writing fics with ace characters who still get to be loved, I'm just trying to process a thing.

Please feel free to skip the rest of this post if you're not interested in the harrowing journey of self discovery. I am absolutely giving too much information about my life, I'm just really working at processing everything and I'm hoping writing it out will help. And honestly, there have been some beautiful souls in the Tumblr community who have given me some beautiful encouragement (including but not limited to @basicallyahedgehog who answered an anon ask I sent them the other day with so much kindness and encouragement because I'd bawled my eyes out about one of their fics featuring ace Harry/Draco.).

(Anyway. If you want to read a ramble about all of the things I'm struggling with at the present moment, I'm gladly accepting advice and kindness at this time. Please read below the cut and chime in if you have anything hopeful to add.)

For most of my life I've pretty comfortably called myself a "picky bi" and in the past couple of years have labeled myself "demisexual" because I'm not sex repulsed; I've had sex, it was fine/good when it's with someone who I'm in love with. I moved on from the labeling, content with the label I'd given myself and whatnot.

It's been a minute (read: 8+ years) since I've been in a relationship that got to the point where I've considered having sex but I didn't really think all that much of it. In retrospect, I think this is largely because I've grown a lot in terms of self respect and honoring my own autonomy. Somewhere around 25, I started saying no when I didn't want something and if the other person didn't respect that decision they were not worth my time.

Anyway, it didn't really occur to me that perhaps going nearly a decade without thinking about/wanting to have sex with anyone (and without experiencing even vague aesthetic attraction to someone with only the odd exception here and there- some of you saw that post a couple of months ago, apparently just having the thought that someone is pretty isn't the same as attraction that allo people experience- so that panic now seems pretty unnecessary. It literally boggles my mind that people can just see a person they've never met and want to have sex with them. Anyway, I'm digressing.) Apparently, it's not a common occurrence even among demisexuals to go that long without thinking about sex if you have emotional intimacy with people (which I do). So fast forward to June when I went to a conference for lgbtqia christians and started listening to people talk about attraction.

To say that my experience of attraction and desire for sex is profoundly different than that of nearly all of the people that I talked to at that conference would be an understatement.

After that conference, I started talking to a lot of friends about their experience of attraction and their desire for sex (eventually this also included some new friends who are demi/ace) and have been a little flabbergasted by their responses. Suddenly, in light of the fact that my body doesn't interpret a lot of things the way that other peoples' seem to, a lot of things started to make sense.

I've been called a flirt (at best, and a [cock]tease in more unpleasant moments) my entire life because I always want to give people gentle physical affection; I love holding hands, touching people on the arm while we're having a conversation, playing with peoples' hair, hugging, leaning, the list is long- none of those things have ever felt like flirting to me. Every one of those actions was the end in itself, there was no artifice in my touches, no desire or even thought for more, but APPARENTLY that is not the thing that happens in a lot of peoples' bodies. It is incomprehensible to me that simple, affectionate touches are not something that everyone just wants to do to anyone that they harbor platonic affection for. This also applies to the way that I communicate with people. Again, I've been called a flirt, been told that I'm intense, been told that I'm trying to 'steal' peoples' boy/girl friends simply by being friends with them. APPARENTLY, showing "too much" interest in other peoples' lives and hobbies is flirting. APPARENTLY, getting really excited for people who are excited and doing cool things is flirting. Because (or so I have been told) the emotional energy I expend is too much to just be friends; surely, I have another angle.

Next, in terms of attraction, I experience attraction to beautiful things in nature in the same way that I experience it to people. If I'm being honest, nature makes my heart sing in a way that people usually don't. I can get caught up in the beauty of the world; the vastness of the ocean for literal hours, in the majesty of the mountains, the strength of trees, the way water carves a path through the rocks in glens and waterfalls. The world takes my breath away, it makes me weep just to exist in nature. Apparently, this in not everyone's experience of nature and apparently, many people who want to have sex don't think that trees, or bodies of water, or mountains have as much (or more, in my humble opinion) appeal than humans.

It's come to my attention that even the way that I have experienced heart break from relationships where I was "in love" and having sex is not the way that people typically experience heartbreak. All heart break feels the same to me; grieving leaving a job, grieving the death of a loved one, grieving horrible things that happen to my students, grieving the loss of friendships, and grieving the loss of a relationship feel like the same heart break. (Like some of those things hurt worse than others but the heart break over the loss of a relationship isn't worse.) One of my friends mentioned that I grieve the passing of summer into autumn (I fucking hate the winter) like the loss of a relationship and I wish I could say that she is wrong. I've been told my whole life that I experience my emotions too big and I just can't help but wonder if there is some sort of correlation there, but I digress.

The literal dream for my life is to have someone who wants to get in the car or on a plane and travel with me. Someone who I can make coffee for in the mornings and who wants to cook me dinner at night. Someone who wants to sit on the couch after a long day at work and talk about nothing, or watch a show, or just exist together. Someone who wants to dance with me in the kitchen, and hold my hand while we walk, who wants to smile at me while I ramble about nature. I want someone who wants to hold me when I cry, who wants to listen to me when I'm mad, someone who will remind me to take a break when I'm working too hard. The only thing that I actually want from a partner is just someone to do life with. It's not that I'm opposed to sex, it's just that it literally doesn't matter.

(So many things in past relationships, so many fights, so many of the reasons that I was left, so many things that I JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND make sense now. Or at least they're starting to.)

So. In the process of understanding this complete fuckery, of trying to put all of the pieces that haven't quite made sense in my life into order, in the end of July my best friend told me that she's in love with me.

And on the one hand, I'm fucking over the moon, delighted, honored, speechless, crazy-happy. She's literally the best person I have ever known, she's the kindest, sweetest, most loyal, loving, amazing human being to ever exist. She loves me so well, so completely, like all of the things that I said above that are my dream; that is her. We road trip together, and she lets me braid her hair, and we snuggle on the couch and watch movies, and we talk for hours (literally hours, when we road trip we go for 7-10 days at a time and I like do not shut the fuck up for more than like 5 minutes total the entire day and she loves me; loves listening to me talk about whatever is in my brain), and when I'm going on and on about how pretty things are in nature she looks at me like I'm the pretty thing (when I say, 'oh my gosh. that mountain, tree, lake, ocean, etc. is so beautiful.' she literally says 'you're so beautiful' and I am deceased, my heart can't take it, I can't fucking stop smiling- I don't even want to), and she lets me info dump about whatever I'm learning, and she loves my brain and my stupid adhd, and she plays me sappy love songs and sings them to me (and she sings in my car, sings to me even though she doesn't sing in front of people) and and and... she makes me feel like I'm good. She makes me feel like I'm all of the things that other people have said I'm not.

And I am constantly terrified of hurting her.

There are a variety of reasons we're not planning on having sex (partially because it's not really something that I want) that I'm not going to get into but I'm afraid of being what I've been to other people. I'm afraid of her feeling like I'm pushing her buttons because I just always want to be touching her (very platonically) like just having our shoulders bumping while we walk, or putting my head on her shoulder when we're on the couch, or letting our elbows press against one another while we're in the car. BUT what happens in our bodies when we're touching like that is really different. Like I described above, for me any type of touch is really the end goal in and of itself (if I'm braiding her hair, it's safe to assume that that is all I want to be doing. If I'm leaning against her on the couch, that too is what I'm wanting.) But that's not always how her body wants to interpret touch, even if she logically knows that I'm not intentionally teasing (she would never say that she feels like I'm trying to tease her, for the record, it's just the easiest way for me to articulate what it feels like could be happening).

And I love her so much, like so much; I'd do anything for her but it's not the same kind of love that she feels for me. By which I mean that she is just really gay and actively attracted to me emotionally/physically but for me if she started dating someone else, I'd be actually fine with that. If she was dating/having sex with someone I wouldn't be jealous, as long as we still get to be friends. (And maybe her dating would necessarily change the dynamic of our friendship and that would be really hard but that's a different mental exercise.) This isn't the way that she feels.

She is so special and important to me but even the way that we are aware of the other person's presence is different. For me, if I'm in a group of people and she's there, I'm aware of that on some level but it's not at the forefront of my mind. My brain is always sort of 'triaging' the people around me when they're my friends; who's being too quiet? who has been going through a rough patch with work/family, etc? who has an exciting new thing they need someone to squeal about with them? who hasn't been included in the conversation in too long? (see the paragraph above about flirting. haha.) She's there but she often isn't the first person I'm thinking about because I talk to her almost every day, I get to love her every day, and odds are good that we either drove together or will talk on the phone our way home from the event- I see the other people there less, so my brain just prioritizes them since I have less time to love them. (This is actually really good, healthy progress for me in terms of healthy attachment and not forming a codependent relationship. My therapist and I are really proud of the work I'm doing, but I'm digressing again.) For her, though, she always knows exactly where I am. It is work for her to pay attention to other conversations, work to be in a different room. In most situations, I am the person she defaults to thinking about and wanting to be near and she has to actively choose other things if she wants to. (And I don't mean to sound like an absolute asshole, it's not like I ignore her or anything, and I'm delighted for us to be in the same conversations, it's just a different way that we engage with the world.)

I love her so much. And I'm afraid of messing everything up. Of hurting her. Of asking too much of her without asking for anything at all. I try to let her be the one to initiate physical touch (or I ask first) because sometimes it's too hard on her body and that's fair. I feel frustrated with the different ways that we experience love for each other because the way that she loves me feels so good and safe to me and it makes me feel so happy. I'm afraid that the way that I love her doesn't feel as nice for her, that it feels less than, that the way I express my love and devotion isn't as good. I'm afraid that the way she loves me is going to wear her out. She always says she knows I love her just as much as she loves me, it's just different. She says she's okay, she says that the way I love her is good for her and she's happy. But it's hard to believe.

I'm afraid that she'll fall in love with someone else who can love her the way she loves and I won't matter to her anymore (partially because that's been my experience of people who have said they're in love with me). I'm afraid.

Is it even fair to entertain the idea of maybe having a whole life together? (we're already entertaining the ideas, already daydreaming about 'what if we lived together', where we're going on our next road trip, etc. And I'm terrified.) Is it asking her to give up too much? I would spend the rest of my life with her. I'd be good and kind to her, I would love her with so much tenderness. But is it enough? Am I enough with just the things that I have to give? Is it actually possible for someone to love me for just me and not for the ways that I could contort myself to be something I'm not?

I recognize the irony in what I'm asking. I know that that's what all of these hundreds of stories I've written here say, it's what I want to believe. But is it even possible when it's reality?

I don't know. Does anyone have any good advice? Any ace people out there living with a person who's in love with them? Does anyone have something that's lasted?