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#and so the love was important and valuable in the sense that they both die understanding that they couldn't change the part they played
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everyone's joking about a lesbian love triangle being the focus of rhaenyra/alicent/mysaria's stories in hotd s3 but that will literally be what happens when mysaria acts to uphold and support the image of rhaenyra as queen (or rhaenyra's duty) and alicent is kept prisoner (or a hidden but unavoidable reminder of rhaenyra's love). and so the love triangle will serve to represent rhaenyra's internal conflict between love and duty
#and if you are me and subscribe to the theory that alicent will escape to dragonstone with rhaenyra after the riots in KL#then rhaenyra chooses alicent/love#i think the book page foreshadows this attempt at escape#“traveling across the narrow to flee a war of dragons”#alicent going to dragonstone with rhaenyra would also totally recontextualize rhaenyra selling her crown to pay for passage#rhaenyra abandons this ultimate symbol of her duty for a final chance at happiness with alicent#and then there's the horrible irony of the audience already knowing that aegon ii has taken dragonstone as they sail toward the island#knowing that rhaenyra and alicent could never actually be physically liberated from the system of patriarchal violence they exist in#but by that point they have both mentally liberated themselves from it#rhaenyra selling her crown and alicent finally accepting rhaenyra's offer to run away and totally abandoning duty#and so the love was important and valuable in the sense that they both die understanding that they couldn't change the part they played#but they know now that they had this love that sustained them despite the plotting and scheming and violence#and the love will be forgotten by history but not by them and in that their love will finally be free#crazy actually that they decided to do this shit with a game of thrones prequel#hotd#alicent hightower#hotd spoilers#rhaenicent#rhaenyra targaryen#house of the dragon#also they are having gay sex on the boat to dragonstone i saw it in a vision
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thelunarfairy · 3 months
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Hello, first I just wanted to say that I love your posts and the way you talk about tbhk, I had already visited many sites on Tumblr that talk about the subject, but yours really captivated me and your theories seem quite realistic. For the rest, I don't have a question, but Did you mind talking about Hanako and Tsughimori's relationship?I really like them both (not in a romantic sense), but the fact that they seem to have a father-son relationship
Awwww how kind 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡 Thank you very much, it is very sweet and kind of you to send me this little message, you made my day happier!! >.<
Aaaaah Tushi…. It's been a while since I talked about him, it's good to see him again. One of the things that captivates me most about him is how a supernatural being he is, he can be sweeter and kinder than any other human.
The sweet relationship between them, it's tender to see how much Tsuchigomori respects him, even though he's younger, to see how he can see Amane as the human boy he is, Tsuchi doesn't see Amane as Hanako, the cursed ghost who has the weight of the past on its back. He sees him as the boy who gave up on his own future, and became who he is today.
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I like how forgiving and kind he is towards Amane. Even in a situation where Hanako himself blames himself, even though he hates himself so much, Tsuchi saw a light in him. "He shouldn't have to die, he was just a kid."
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How Tsuchi regrets not being able to help him, and the look… that sweet and proud look he has sometimes, and how those little gifts from Amane turned into such valuable things for him.
Because that was definitely lunar rock, and it would become the most important thing to him for fifty years…. And now, the clock…. the way he looks at that small gift, as if the memories of those good old moments came back, the nostalgia, the longing, the happiness of having been by his side for a while.
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Tsuchi is a great man, with a heart as big as my words can describe. He is the one who doesn't judge, who doesn't abandon, who regrets when he fails, who helps without thinking twice, when he can.
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He is the father and the safe haven that Amane needed, and Amane was the son he gained.
I still believe that in the distant future, he will be the person who will save his great friend from a bad future… or from not having that future. Maybe, Tsuchi will give him the time he so desires.
He's my favorite character, and even though I know that one day he might leave, at least I'll be happy that he'll do it for the love of someone who is so important to him.
Well, it's a hypothesis, but Tsuchi deserves all the respect I can offer him, a great teacher, a great man. I wish him all the glory and happiness, in the little things he loves so much.
And I hope he can give and receive all the happiness he can.
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💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
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I love him so much 🕷️
A bonus, him being father of the year XD
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XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!! 🕷️🕷️🕷️
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cosmicjoke · 4 months
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Levi's Personal Sacrifice in Letting Erwin Go:
One thing that I think get lost in all the argument over whether Levi was "in love" with Erwin or not, is actually just how important Erwin was to Levi. There doesn't have to be any presence of romantic feeling between them to recognize this, and indeed, I think it actually does a great disservice to both of their characters, and the complexity of them, to saddle them with the definition, or to try and fit their actions and motivations through that lens. But particularly for Levi. Because one thing it does, when we try to frame Levi's choice to let Erwin die purely through a romantic lens, is it undermines the weight of that choice in relation to Levi's own ability to do the thing that most motivates him, that is, to help people.
It's not so much that Levi was losing the person he "loved", it was that he was losing the person who helped him to help others. Without Erwin, Levi didn't really know how to do that. He didn't know how to direct himself, didn't know what he could do, how best to utilize his strength for the benefit of people. That's the personal sacrifice Levi made. He was umoored without Erwin there to guide him. His sacrifice, then, was more than just letting go of a single friend, or losing the man he loved. It's tied up with how much Levi cares about everyone. Not just Erwin, but all people. Levi wanted to be able to help them, in the best way he could, and Erwin gave him that ability. But he sacrificed that to end Erwin's suffering. That's why I'll never understand people who call Levi's choice selfish. It was the opposite of selfish. Levi gave up his own sense of place in the world by letting Erwin die. He lost the map that Erwin provided to him, showing him the way to help. And I think the significance of that can only be understood when one understands how it's helping people which drives Levi above all else.
And by letting Erwin go, Levi also sacrificed his ability to cope with the choice of others to give themselves up to something not worth their lives.
After the time skip, after Eren betrays them all, particularly following the Yeagerists takeover of the island, we see Levi begin to express regret and uncertainty regarding Eren, particularly in relation to his previous decision to protect Eren over the lives of his other comrades, and more specifically still, those other comrades own decision to give their lives for Eren's, believing Eren was the key to their dreams being realized. That is, humanity's victory over the Titans.
Levi realizes, upon hearing about the Yeagerists coup, that all those lives that were sacrificed to protect and keep Eren alive were lost in vain. That they died for nothing, and Levi's anguished despair over this realization is rooted in the fact that, for him, there's nothing worse than that. To see life wasted for no reason. And that comes back, as it always does, to how much Levi values life.
I think that's why Levi is so unhappy at the end of the story, because he sees that none of it turned out to be worth the lives his comrades gave. That's a devastating realization. Levi, in his monologue during the final battle, refers to it as being "their dream", not his, which is why I always talk about Levi fighting for his comrades, more than some utopian future. He fought for "their dream" because it's what they chose to give their lives for. But because Levi sees life as inherently valuable, indeed, as the most precious thing there is, the only way he could ever believe the cause they gave their lives for was worth it was if the cause itself was equal to those lives. A "stupidly idealistic world", meaning an impossibly idealistic world. A world beyond any actual realm of possibility. He supported their dream and tried to make it a reality for them, not for the dream itself, which is something I've spoken about before, too. For Levi, it was always about people, and their lives, and it was the cause they fought for that needed to prove its worth to them, not the other way around.
How this ties into what Levi actually personally sacrificed by letting Erwin die is that, I think in many ways, Erwin's presence in Levi's life, and particularly, Levi's belief in Erwin, is what helped Levi to cope with so many people giving their lives up to a cause that, deep down, I don't think Levi ever, truly believed in.
Erwin was really Levi's guiding light. Levi wanted to help people, but he didn't really know how. Erwin showed him how, by telling Levi to fight for the dreams of the Scouts of the Survey Corps, and by extension, to fight for humanity. He gave Levi an outlet to use his great strength to help people, something Levi had been searching for before ever coming above ground. He convinced Levi that he had a vision of something beyond Levi's own, limited view of the world, that he knew something Levi didn't know, and it was because of that belief in Erwin's greater vision, that Levi chose to trust him and believe in his guidance in fighting for and supporting the dreams of his comrades, even as Levi himself continued harbor doubt and uncertainty as to that causes worth.
He really believed that Erwin could see some great possibility that he couldn't, is the thing, some truly better world, and he trusted in that, in what Erwin was seeing.
And so I think Levi pushed aside his own doubts about the possibility of a better world because of that trust, because of how strong his belief in Erwin was, with how much he, as he always said, "trusted in Erwin's judgement".
Once more, the sadness in Levi at the end, I think, is him realizing he was right all along, his inner feeling was right, and that "stupidly idealistic world" that they all gave their lives for was only ever a dream, not a real possibility. Which also means Erwin's great vision was wrong. There never was any better world. There never was any cause that was worth the lives of Levi's comrades. The way things turned out only proved that. They all died for something better, but in the end, nothing better came. Yes, the Titan curse was gone, and a tentative peace emerged, but the cost was too high and the world was in shambles. It wasn't a better world at all.
Again, Levi says their lives (meaning the lives of his comrades) would only have been worth a "stupidly idealistic world". I think it was always a struggle for Levi to let his comrades die and sacrifice themselves for an ideology. I think it was always a struggle for Levi to push down his own instinct to save lives to allow them to pursue that dream. He couldn't stop them from sacrificing themselves, because it was what they wanted, it was their choice, is was what they believed in, and so the best he could do was support that, and try to make their dream a reality. And, again, I think the way Levi was able to cope with that, to cope with his inability to interfere with or stop his comrades from dying for a ideology, was by trusting in Erwin to get them there, with his great vision, with his far-reaching gaze and his superior judgement. If Erwin said it was possible, then maybe it really was, because Erwin could see something Levi couldn't. Erwin was "superior" to him.
The tragic irony for Levi was, it was him who was right all along.
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politemagic · 3 months
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Please tell me more about Alpha Wolf. pleaseeee all of the thoughts
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okay. first thing's first, i love those guys with my whole heart. they all just seem like such great dudes, who genuinely love what they do and have a good time performing together & interacting with their fans. (mitch has responded to my silly replies to his ig stories before and just let me tell you that man is a treasure and i adore him)
the songs i think i think about the most are the "golden fate" songs. there's three, Golden Fate; Water Break, Golden Fate; Gut Ache, and Golden Fate; Isolate. the first two are from their first album Mono, but Isolate is from A Quiet Place to Die, and i just think they're incredibly powerful songs. god i might cry writing this
i listen to each song as a stage of grief, following the suicide of someone you loved (presumably a partner), and then if you want to absolutely decimate yourself emotionally you can follow all of them up with listening to Don't Ask... But I think the story can be pretty well summed up with these lyrics:
Golden Fate; Water Break - anger
you were my everything and you knew it / what did i do for this to be given? / no longer bound to this earth / no longer with me in remission
Golden Fate; Gut Ache - bargaining
i never thought you would let go / your perceived strength, was it all for show? / i know it was hard for you / and when i gave up you gave up too
Golden Fate; Isolate - acceptance
i try to make sense of it / put myself in your shoes, forever chasing a different outcome / it doesn't matter in the end / you're gone, never coming back
it's not necessarily cut and dry, but neither is grief. there's sprinklings of all of it throughout all three, but they just. i think about them a lot, as someone who has been the suicidal one in a relationship before, and listening to it from the other side is both heart wrenching but also helpful, in a way, for my own healing.
and as i said, you can follow it up with Don't Ask... which is a song i have to put on consciously, I cannot listen to it unprompted or i will become a blubbering mess.
i should've said it more, i love you, i always will / i should've paid more attention / but everything moves so fast / when you're on the edge of your own breakdown
which??? in combination with the line "when i gave up you gave up too" makes me want to rip my heart out of my chest. this whole song is so, so, so incredibly painful. it's an incredible song, amazing lyrics, excellent performance, but once you really listen to it... you can hardly stand to listen to it (and i mean that in the best way possible)
anyways, i love them. i love them so much. and their music is so incredibly important to me, i cannot even express it. their music makes the horrors go away, which is all i can ever ask.
if you're interested in learning a little more like, actual information, i'll direct you to this post i made a while ago!! (well, technically i'm directing you to a reblog of the post i made but i think it has valuable information!)
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illegiblewords · 9 months
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Discussing the sex lives of wizards in the name of psychology under the cut! BG3, warning for discussion of suicide and mental health issues.
Man, analysis of Gale’s sex scene keeps getting waved under my nose with the notion that if you don’t go with Weave you’ve done something wrong. I addressed it already but like.
1) One of the popular arguments is that Gale is magic, magic is Gale, you might as well forbid an artist from painting. One could argue that particular mentality is a huge part of why Gale having issues. I said it before but like—speaking from having been there IRL with writing and editing. As a creative, you don’t lose your entire medium if you take time to focus on acknowledging your self-worth and those who love you without the medium. It’s actually insanely important to be able to do that imo. Not making the first sexual encounter be through magic doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen or is an inferior thing generally. I think emphasizing it as a first encounter and not a last one is a huge deal. It’s also a big step beyond what Gale expects for himself at that point.
The reality Gale had resigned himself to, that he was terrified of, involved obeying Mystra even if she ordered him to kill himself. Her love and his worth are conditional upon how well he can please her. Gale’s ‘comfort zone’ of performing acts of service specifically to retain worth is actively harmful to him and is part of what he was conditioned to accept through abuse. Even in Act III he can struggle with the idea that he is not defined by Mystra’s expectations of him. Like Shadowheart, stepping into choices beyond the will of his goddess is almost unfathomable. It’s still really important to recognize there are other possibilities.
2) There’s a dev note about Gale bowing to the player’s preference if the player opts for non-magical sex. I want to pose for your consideration as a comparison—is it better to farm Astarion’s approval by staying in his comfort zone/sense of the familiar (cruelty, violence) when those things are maladaptive? It comes out a lot through the game that an overwhelming amount of his behavior ties to coping mechanisms that helped him survive with Cazador, but it’s extremely unhealthy outside of that scenario.
All of the companions have trauma caused by abuse. All of them have some measure of mental health issues at work tied to that. And the thing with mental illness linked to trauma is, that person’s brain is doing the best it can to protect them from threats. When the threat is no longer present and they have room to seek health + stability, those coping mechanisms may become a hindrance instead. For Gale, he’s struggled with severe isolation and self-esteem problems to the point that he’s convinced that without magic or unique acts of service he shouldn’t be alive. Mystra has reinforced this. I pose the threat to him (by his perception) has been worthlessness and abandonment. His defense became to make himself irreplaceably valuable through his abilities so he has a concrete defense against those threats. Gale is still learning to adapt to healthy relationships that aren’t with Mystra, where he isn’t being framed as expendable.
Another thing I want to raise for consideration is that there’s a pattern common to people preparing to kill themselves. This involves wrapping up unfinished business, giving away belongings, basically saying good-bye. Gale starts the ‘last night’ scene with that exact intent and mindset. He is planning to die. A player insisting against suicide is not wronging Gale. A player interacting with Gale outside his trauma to offer a different, more stable lifeline than ‘worth through abilities and offerings’ is not doing him a disservice.
Change and recovery can both be fucking scary. You literally have to challenge the way you look at the world, yourself, and other people. For a while you lose all sense of how to judge in that new context. There’s no guarantee the attempt to change will pay off. The idea of trying and failing is scary as hell under those circumstances too because it risks finding hope only for it to be destroyed again. That hurts more than if you've already given up and are braced for further harm.
It’s still important to try though. Living in despair is pretty horrific. I’ll go a step further too to say feeding someone’s mental illness can be a form of abuse. I don’t think taking the Weave-sex option is abusive, but there is some risk of encouraging harmful complexes for Gale depending on interpretation.
The player seeing Gale’s tower, his books, Waterdeep—those are still beautiful things. But he presents them when and how he does because he’s planning to kill himself. I’d argue Gale offers to give as much as he knows how, as well as he knows how, specifically because he’s planning to kill himself. He wants to give the best of himself and his life to his love before he dies. He wants that to mean something to his love. Insisting that suicide is not on the table and that the sex scene is a first time rather than a last is still alien territory for Gale because of how much his sense of possibility has been narrowed. It also involves a radically different perception of relationships for Gale if they aren’t rooted in magic. Of course he’s nervous. What if his partner changes their mind? What if they’re disappointed? What if he says or does the wrong thing? What if he’s clumsy? What if he doesn’t make the encounter everything he wants to say and do only to kill himself after all? What if Gale Dekarios (not Gale of Waterdeep) slips from the world unmourned? What if his only legacy is how he died?
But again, Gale’s partner can insist this isn’t a last encounter. It’s a first. He doesn’t have to do everything right now. He doesn’t have to be running out of time the way he’s believed for over a year.
And by-the-by, sometimes partners do try new things together. Sometimes that involves trepidation. Being nervous isn’t mutually exclusive with consent or even having a good time. Sometimes having existing habits and mentalities challenged can result in growth, improved well-being, and finding new stuff to enjoy. Just gotta be mindful.
Again, Gale’s coping mechanism against the threat of abandonment is acquiring value in what he can uniquely give others. I would argue that for the physical sex scene in particular, there’s an opportunity to give to him instead. This would likely be somewhat beyond his experience and comfort zone given he was expected to impress his goddess through offerings before. Gale has a real fear of being deemed replaceable and discarded if he has nothing unique to provide. Positioned as someone being offered to is foreign for him. And doing it on mundane terms, not as the wizard of Waterdeep but as just Gale—that’s also foreign. Doesn’t make it a bad thing though. Imo it really is a good first step.
3) I’ve seen people get pissed about how the game can imply Gale isn’t great at physical sex. Between the books he reads and his relationship with Mystra, I’m going to suggest it’s possible Mystra was solely dealing with Gale on her terms, in the Weave, non-physically. And I’m also going to suggest that Gale has wanted to do more physically but felt like it was a dirty, ungrateful, mortal thing to want from his goddess. Would explain why he’s not as confident there. The fact that he has a book full of physical sex acts only to leave bodies behind just adds to my suspicion that while he knows he’s very good at Weave-sex, there’s a lot he never got to explore with Mystra regardless of his own interest.
I also really, really think it’s okay if Gale is less experienced with physical sex. No one is born knowing everything. Being able to engage in a safe way (so partner not being an ass about it lol), try new things, and become more familiar through practice could be sweet. No pressure, his partner wants to share this with him. Guy’s clearly a fast and enthusiastic learner anyway. 😉
I’d like to think Gale gets to deal with weird body sounds or moving inelegantly only to find it’s okay to laugh about that stuff. There’s less pressure. He can do things like boop his partner’s nose or make them reach to kiss him. Sex doesn’t always have to be some immaculate, serious affair. It isn’t his last chance. He isn’t being abandoned. He’s personally valued in this relationship.
Characters can have clumsy but heartfelt sex. Characters can have clumsy but charged fight scenes too. Areas of imperfection are part of being alive and there’s room to examine that in storytelling. Not everything needs to be expertly choreographed.
As one last thing, like… the sense I’m getting between discussions is that there’s some conversion contest stuff going on. Trying to put down one sex scene to justify the other schtick. Maybe I fueled that accidentally, dunno. I think some of it probably comes down to different interpretations of characters between fans. For my interpretation, I don’t think Weave-sex would work thematically. Another person’s interpretation might be a different story altogether.
Part of what makes Baldur’s Gate 3 cool imo is how varied the stories that come out of it can be. Which is to say nothing for fans bringing different spins. I might not go with God-Gale and see that iteration as tragic/unheathy. Somebody else might think it’s poetic justice since Mystra is a former mortal who ascended to godhood herself, and God-Gale realizes he is no less worthy than her. There is mutability here imo and I hope this can clarify I really do mean it on varied reads.
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j-psilas · 8 months
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Have you seen THIS (EVIL) MAN?
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This is the Silent Chief Yurt, a notorious character from FromSoftware's Demon's Souls. More specifically, it's concept art for the face beneath his armor, which, due to the game's technical limitations, is never revealed in-game.
Yurt is a nasty trick by the developers. Everything in Demon's Souls is permanent: quest choices, leveling, missable loot, and the lives and deaths of NPCs. The game trains you to be very careful with something as important as a key NPC, because they could just die permanently, leaving you without access to their associated quests and gameplay functions.
So with that in mind, you discover Yurt as a prisoner in a hanging cage, and naturally you free him.
Literally everything about this guy—his voice, his mannerisms, his sinister black armor—says that he is evil, and not to be trusted. Still you hesitate, because of what the game has taught you about NPCs thus far.
And if you hesitate for too long, and leave Yurt alive, he will assassinate nearly every key NPC in the hub area, one by one. No magic, no miracles, no advanced items, no quests. Your entire playthrough will be ruined because of this evil bastard.
So that's Yurt, who lives in infamy to this very day. They gave him a suitably villainous face design, no?
Cold, calculating, remorseless. Lacking both scruples and volumizing conditioner.
Imagine my surprise when, watching Death Note for the first time last year, I spotted this motherfucker sitting at a board room of sinister businessmen:
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This is Kyosuke Higuchi, a smarmy evil business executive—and yeah, he sure looks quite a lot like Yurt, doesn't he?
Sure, his hair is spikier, with more volume, but he has the distinctive widows peak, receded hairline, and long sideburn-like pieces. He also has the same long face, hollow cheeks, pointy chin, sharp nose and cheekbones, and narrow, suspicious eyes. The design suits him as well as it suits Yurt. He's more hot-headed than Yurt, more reckless and prone to mistakes, but he's murderous, duplicitous, and rotten to the core.
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When my partner @impossiblejellyfishfart and I first noted the similarity, we lost our ever-loving minds. It seemed improbable at first, but it made more sense as we mulled it over. Death Note aired from 2006-2007, a popular adaptation of a popular manga, and Demon's Souls was released in 2009, just two years after the end of Death Note.
With this timeline in mind, it seems likely that the character artist for Demon's Souls took inspiration from Higuchi's design—crumpled him up a bit, slicked his hair down, made him look more cold-blooded and serpentine. Yurt's face is only a quick sketchy portrait, after all, never seen in-game. Likely it was meant only to inspire the character's writing and vocal performance.
That was our assumption... until!
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This is the villain from Wicked City, a schlocky OVA from 1987 that my partner and I watched last weekend. (I don't recommend it, by the way. Visually interesting, textually vapid, morally repugnant; it's exactly what you'd expect from a sleazy unrated OVA. At best, it offers a glimpse into the period, and could be a valuable piece for a textual analysis. But it's miserable watching after the first twenty minutes or so.)
More to the point...
That's the same face again, right? That's nearly the same face!
Sure, he's missing the long, dangly sideburns, and his widow's peak his very slight—but it's a very similar face, about as different from Higuchi as Higuchi is from Yurt.
Upon recognizing the Evil Bastard Face™ here as well, we knew that it must be some kind of convention in Japanese animation, stretching further back than we'd initially thought. What is its origin point? What is the first major instance of this face appearing in popular screen media from Japan? I'm asking your assistance here, anime scholars of the Internet. When was this combination of facial features codified as "The Evil Bastard?"
Wicked City is derivative in many, many ways—I sincerely doubt it was the first appearance of Evil Bastard Face. Can you all find an example that predates 1987?
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nanamikentostan69420 · 10 months
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thinking a thought right now.
was (UNFORTUNATELY) raised in the white Evangelical christian church & was told for many years that love is slow to anger.
my love is SO quick to anger. I realize that there are teachings of righteous anger and whatnot but I tell you, to love the people around me in the ways that matter deeply to me in the world that we live in, I have experienced periods of being furious for a majority of the hours in a day, for the majority of days in a week, and sometimes even for most weeks in a month.
I somewhere, somehow (CANNOT currently remember where) someone talking about how most of the pacifists they know, anyone who dreams of a world without war/conflict- aren’t actually the mellow, “peaceful”, chill people that pacifists are sometimes painted as.
rather, they look at the world around them and are so heartbroken and absolutely furious at how far from ideal it all is. people die preventable deaths, every single day, in a country where such things SHOULD be incredibly rare (how does the “most advanced/prosperous/other buzzwords that the US of A tout, country in the world lose millions to suicide? to car accidents? to LACK OF HOUSING, lack of food, lack of healthcare? delayed access to healthcare, or having gone without for so long that PREVENTABLE DISEASES are no longer preventable, or the symptoms are now inevitable and more severe?)
ties into another aspect that I’m repeating from Rhett and Link- during the podcast episode where they detailed their deconstruction of the church/religion in their lives, I think it was Rhett that mentioned something along the lines of a sense of justice. That the Christian church is seeing an enormous exodus (pun intended) of people, especially young people- and though this means the church has failed, at least in retaining its members, he points out another important aspect.
The Christian Church operates on an unyielding, ever-present, righteous set of rules, and everything can be measured against those rules to make judgements and take actions in the world around you.
AND THE YOUNG PEOPLE THAT WERE RAISED IN CHURCH HAVE INCREDIBLY STRONG SENSES OF JUSTICE (AT LEAST IN MY EXPERIENCE). We’ve already had to stand firm in beliefs that were typically not those of other peers, and were praised for going against the grain when it’s due to something you believe in firmly- something that gives your life more meaning, that grounds you in community.
so with all that context, is it REALLY surprising that young ex-evangelicals are queer, neurodivergent, and/or anti-capitalist? <- all of these being forms of existence that REQUIRE a difference from the status quo, both in mentality and frequently in what actions people take.
To exist in the christian church in the ways I was told were necessary, so many aspects of life are different from your peers. especially growing up there. EVERY Sunday morning was spent at church. A whole 3-4 hours of my weekend, gone. & then there’s youth groups during weeknights…
Notably, a former youth pastor (SIDEBAR: a more appropriate name could be: child indoctrinater, young enough to be relatable but DEFINITELY old enough to know better) of mine literally sent me a letter in my sophomore or so year of high school and guilt tripped the shit out of me to try to get me to go to youth group more consistently (I was heavily involved in swimming and water polo & attended practice at least every afternoon/evening, sometimes multiple per day) and told me that water polo shouldn’t be more important to me than god, etc. etc.
WILD to say these things to a high schooler whose most valuable and truly independent time away from their parents was during these practices. Jesus christ. I’m so glad I didn’t let that talk me out of being a massive jock. Could talk about this for legit days but it’s bedtime.
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foolishwriting · 2 months
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A/n: the perspectives for the first few chapter will likely change, im not quite sure the best perspective to write this in yet so
Chapter 1
“The world has been simplified and dumbed down to keep us pliable and stupid” dad had explained to me. “It isn't as simple as a letter to explain the threat level a single person is. Its like we’re cattle to them, you’re not a cow for sale you understand Sage? Never let the government break you down into something easy to understand, or to boost the egos of the heroes undeserving of their titles. You are a human, a beautiful and complex human.” 
Its a strange lesson to tell your nine year old daughter during a jail call. I love my dad, wouldn't trade him for the world. He’s a petty thief, petty enough to have broken into a heroes headquarters and steal sensitive information about a government project and leak it to the public. Papa has nothing to do with hero business in the slightest, hes a great model and he and dad have never once told me i was wrong for my career path. 
I considered going into hero work in middle school but so did everyone else. I know some of the new heroes, they're the kids who won the popularity contests in middle school and throughout highschool. Half of them never realized their lives would lay in my hands. I'm no hero but i'm certainly your favorite hero's healer they've begged for a quick recovery from after being a prick. I don't take it lightly when a hero, no matter how grand they are, plop themselves down in front of me and are rude and demanding. It might be my job but they can easily go find someone else if they are gonna speak ill of me or any one else. 
My dad’s lesson rings clear in my head now as I watch a vicious battle between a band of four D level heroes against one E level. It’s strange how it's a big deal. They’ll likely get bumped up if they get in a couple more fights with higher level villains like this. The group is the Senses Five, notably they’re fifth and arguably most valuable member, is missing. Theyre what they sound like, a group of teeagers fresh form highschool with powers that fuck up your senses. They work as a great team, managing to disorient and batter in the most unexpected ways. 
Me and a couple of coworkers sit around in the Hero’s Commission HQ’s kitchen in the Healers Wing. its pretty much our normal, lounge around for most of the day until theres a sudden strike of injured heroes then we all shoot into action. Its a pretty solid job, get paid a shit ton to heal the morons who nearly get themselves killed trying to get promoted through a system that's not designed to promote them. Im one of the few who do, i cant anymore, im an S ranked healer, i deal with shit from heroes on their deathbeds to literally dead ones. 
I lucked out in the power department, necromancy, healing, some light manipulation and some minor shit that's not really important to mention. Theres a reason i have the luxury of letting heroes fucking die because their egos have no room to be polite. Not all of them of course, don't get it twisted, I just have a bit of a chip on my shoulder. It's a mixed bag, I happen to work with both the pleasant and the egotistical. 
We all sorta watch the news a little bit dumb founded by the fight being broadcasted. We were about to be seeing all of them soon. The calamity is minimal, buildings damaged that can be easily fixed by any builder, the roads are shattered and cars shredded but there seems to be no civilians in danger. Thank god man. Its awful, a group of us would get sent out with the builders and repair and heal and resurrect if necessary. Its terrible some of the stuff ive seen man, kids, teens, heroes younger than my sister destroyed by a fight they were mislead about, entire city blocks flattened. It isn't pretty. 
“Miss Cyris” Eric said getting everybody's attention “you have a meeting with Mr. Peters” 
“Now?” i ask, i don't remember this being in my schedule for the day let alone the week. 
“In five minutes yes” 
“Why did I not know about this?” i ask
Eric shrugs glancing at his tablet “you should have been aware of this a month in advance” 
Obviously I wasn’t. I sigh and get up taking my lunch with me. The organization and communication around here needs work. Why didn’t anyone tell me when the meeting was booked? I would have put it in my calendar or made a reminder instead of jogging through the halls to Mr . Peters’ office. 
Mr. Peters’ is an ex sidekick to one of the greatest super heroes in history. The Eldritch was, from what i hear, as nice outside the mask as he was in the mask. We never found out his civilian identity but if i had to guess it’s Mr. Peters’ husband and i'm usually right about these things. I've met him, he made me homemade muffins for my birthday last year and made a delicious curry for the office two months ago. The Eldritch was powerful as hell, he could use and pull any power from myth or folklore or fairytale. So you can imagine why he stands as the world’s greatest hero. 
Mr. Peters’ office has trophies,  framed newspaper headlines, photos of himself with the eldritch in their prime and awards hard won. He sits at his desk when he calls me in. hes a furry creature, broad shouldered and sewn into the suit he wears. He looks better in his costume than in a suit sitting in an office job managing healers. He’s a hard worker, that's for sure. He checks his watch.
“Right on time,” he smiles at me softly, “as usual”
I sit down and return the gentle gesture with a smile of my own, “im sorry, i wasn't aware of this meeting”
“I know, i asked Eric not to tell you about it”
“What?” i can’t stop it from slipping out. Mr. Peters has my respect and he’s been nothing but kind to me but what the hell? Why would he want me to not know about this meeting? 
“While we are waiting, how are you?” he asks
“Im ok sir” i say not having much of an answer still trying to figure out what this is about. Waiting for what? Better yet, for who?
“How’s your sister?”
“Oh she’s…” robbed a bank, stole a famous painting, vandalized quite a few monuments, blew up a police station and sprained her wrist. “...doing well” 
“That’s good to hear, I heard rumors of your father getting released?” 
“Yes, he is” i say. Finally after nineteen years in jail for honestly a crime that's greatly exaggerated, he’s coming home. “Two weeks from now dad will be home again.”
I have to keep the childish giddy feeling that flutters in my chest, the nervous wreck of my teenage self and my overjoyed now reigned in. If I don't just talking about it puts me on the verge of tears. He's my dad, he's my dad who I've been seeing through a piece of glass and talking to over hour long calls at a time with men itching to find a reason to cut it short since i was seven. He missed the end of middle school, my high school graduation, the end of my official medical education and he wasn't even allowed out for his mom’s funeral. I'm elated to say the least. 
“I remember your dad in highschool” he says thoughtfully. “We all knew he’d do something stupid one day, but all of us knew he was also harmless” 
I would not describe my dad as harmless per say, he can cause some real damage if he tried, there's a reason he’s in jail. The only crime he committed was i guess treason and like breaking and entering but otherwise the crimes he was nailed with are fabricated. I’m not gonna tell him that though, he is an ex sidekick and a government worker who can easily have any of us investigated.
“I’m glad things are working out for you Sage, you're a good kid” he says, glancing at his watch.
He frowned. Whatever we were waiting for was late. I want to know if i'm right, who it is that’s late and why they're late. Better yet actually, why i wasn't told about this meeting in advance but i have doubts on that being answered. He sighs and looks at me apologetically.
“Im so sorry for the wait” he says
“It’s ok, what is this about?” i ask
“Well as you know there have been some reorganization-”
The door opens and a tall black haired woman stands in the doorway, her chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath. She’s really quite pretty. Shoulder length black hair, pale skin, tattoos up her right arm and on both legs. She seems familiar. No one i've worked with but I'm pretty sure she’s Chameleon. The Chameleon is an S level Sidekick who could easily get through the ranks of Heroism but chooses not to.
“I'm so sorry, got caught up in… traffic” she says, clearing her throat and glancing my way.
“Thank you for finally joining us Kassidy” he says. “Have you two met yet?”
“No sir”
“Not formally no” Kassidy says
We haven’t met at all. Have we? I think we’ve passed each other and just nodded in acknowledgement and that's not even meeting. Otherwise not in the slightest. 
“Sage, this is Kassidy McGarthy, Kassidy this is our best healer Sage Cyris” 
I nod with an awkward smile stuck to my face. She holds her hand out and I take it. I don't know who she last fought but holy shit. Her side is mostly just on big bruise and the opposite shoulder has certainly seen better days, not to mention a nasty scar from her younger years of fighting and a weird ankle that was reinjured recently, maybe a month or two ago? I can’t help myself, I send a warmth through her to speed up the healing process. She hardly notices.
“Nice to meet you”
“Pleasure” i say shortly
“Joined at the right moment, i was just about to explain to Miss Cyris here what’s going on” Mr. Peters explains. He adjusts slightly before continuing, “as you are both aware, the Hero’s Commission has been making adjustments throughout the all of the sections, one of those changes includes pairing up healers and Sidekicks, we have done so based on skills, ranking and threats” 
I look at Kassidy. She looks unimpressed with the arrangement, her face fixed into a tight frown. The way Sidekicks and Healers are set up is different from each other. Sidekicks are commissioned to work with heroes for a time, like rent a sidekick. Healers are normally in one place, here, and heroes and sidekicks are brought to us or us to them depending on the situation. On a few occasions heroes will hire us as a permanent member of their support team. I tend to be nitpicky about salaries and benefits and all that shit, hence why i'm still with the commission.
“We are doing and official announcement to the entire commission next week, when everyone is no longer set up with a hero” 
“So why are you telling us this then?” Kassidy asks
“Wouldn't it be easier to have us know at the same time as everyone else?” i ask
Mr Peters nods, “you see you two are in a special situation” his hands close together and i notice the stack of files on his desk. There’s four of them. Hes looking at me over the frames of his glasses, i've gotten to it too soon. “There's a contract in the works between us and the some of the great new heroes, in order to give out best healers and sidekicks our best available opportunities, you two have already been assigned, you have the rest of this week to become familiar with each other and” he hands two folder to each of us. The official Hero’s Commission Headquarters stamp sits across the folder with Mr Peters signature on the corner of the stamp. “You will also become familiar with those files, one is the other’s file, the other is the file with all the pertinent information about the hero you are assigned to. Next monday you will be making yourselves at home with their headquarters and familiarize yourselves with the hero in and out of costume in person” 
“I have a question,” i say , skimming over the information in the folder about Kassidy.
“Yes?”
“So instead of having a conversation about things, we just have everything about each other right here?” i ask
He smiles kindly, “private history is not included. i ensured anything you wouldn't want them to know wasn't in there, with that said, there are criminal records, family records, schooling and so on”
I glance at Kassidy who’s looking over the first page about me. I look at Mr Peters, sure my hesitance is clearly written on my face. I can only see this going wrong. My family is reason enough—a villian, a vandal, my own records even—to not want to be associated with me beyond the bare minimum. 
“Any other questions?”
“Yeah, we’re not like, moving into the HQ right? I know sometimes that's a thing” Kassidy asks
“Not unless you and the hero arrange that”
“We’ll be working exclusively with them?”
“Yes”
“Are they paying or is the commission?”
“Commission”
“How long?” i ask
“You two will be working together permanently, with the hero, it will be a year.”
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goldenworldsabound · 10 months
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Pls tell me everything abt velvoid and diablo im obsessed with this ship
you're the best Nick 😭😭😭
First I have to Tensura lore dump at you so let's go
The world was created by Veldanava, the first of the True Dragons. He created for himself 3 canon siblings (Velgrynd, Velzard, and Veldora) and also Velvoid (who is the second youngest, with Veldora as the youngest). True Dragons are THE single strongest beings in Tensura. They have various elemental prowess and unique skills and are just insanely strong. They possess a dragon form and a humanoid form. So that's where Velvoid stands - exists from what is essentially the beginning of time and has been powerful the entire time.
At the same time, Veldanava created seven angels, which per cause and effect caused the creation of the Seven Primordial Demons, each of which was associated with a color. Diablo, or at that time Noir/Black, was the only one strong enough to fight and tie with Rouge (later Guy Crimson) who was ostensibly the leader. The primordial demons are...also insanely strong but not comparable to True Dragons by any means for several reasons which we don't need to get into. But Noir liked to fight, and once he tied with Rouge he was like damn. If I get stronger, all fighting will be really boring cause I'll just win. Lame shit. So Rouge got stronger and Noir just like fucked off for a really really long time. Demons can be summoned into the physical world with an offering so occasionally he goes to the physical world, but without a proper body they can't maintain that for very long.
Anyway my point is, they are both so fucking old and so fucking strong. And Diablo/Noir fucking LOVES to fight.
Oh, it's also important to note that Naming is a very important thing in Tensura that makes monsters stronger. So, Noir isn't really a name in that sense but more of...a moniker? It doesn't count.
So basically, at some point, Noir is like. I wanna fight a True Dragon. And he goads Velvoid into a fight. Velvoid takes it easy on him but still thoroughly kicks his ass. This happens often. He normally hates losing, but with Velvoid...he knew he didn't have a chance to begin with and it's so much fun.
I should note. Velvoid is practically a recluse. With power over Space and Void, they can create extra spatial dimensions at will, and their preference is Fuck Da World and hide it in a dimension with their hoard of random items from various collapsed civilizations, typically valuable or rare things a normal person would die to get their hands on. Watching the world and swooping in to scoop up anything of major interest is basically their modus operandi.
That being said, they are annoyed by Noir at first and think he's stupid and insane. Over time that opinion shifts, and instead of telling him to go lick his wounds elsewhere, they invite him into an extra spatial dimension to recoup. They offer him some of their own energy to recover under the ruse of, "it'll get you out of my hair faster" though it's clear there's significance behind it. Noir is beaming and delighted and he's a happy puppy demon fdkjsahfasjk
This just continues to happen after their fights, and Noir even starts to ask about the objects in their hoard, and they agree to tell him a story about one object per fight. He's very happy to get them talking more, and they're very happy to have someone to talk to who listens so intently and asks so many questions. He even occasionally has a relevant story of a time he was summoned to share (he is QUITE the story teller, he can go off forever).
Eventually one day he shows up to fight and somehow they end up kissing about it and ripping each others' clothes off and well stuff happens. It's new to both of them - they are spiritual life forms, they don't really reproduce like that (it seems they can if they want to though but that's a different tangent), and neither has had any such feelings before. They're also both demisexual or grey ace so it's like WOAH wtf is THIS but anyway it happens and it's a great time. And they just start referring to each other as partners but things continue mostly as they were except sometimes the fighting is fighting and sometimes the fighting is fucking- dfjsahfd and sometimes it's neither, it's cuddling and chatting about the things they've observed or experienced in the time they've been apart.
To them, "time they've been apart" is often centuries, by the way. LONG LIVED.
Also fun fact, Diablo fully brings them corpses or cool relics or whatever like a cat bringing it's owner a dead mouse and dead birds. And they fully praise him for it- dkjashfjkdas
Now this brings us to the more current timeline. Rimuru summons Noir (or well he tried to summon much weaker demons and Noir said no :) summon ME!!!! and showed up anyway fdjkahfs), Names him Diablo (thus granting him a new level of strength which is considered insane by basically everyone else), and Diablo becomes his second secretary fdkjafhsdj
Velvoid is only aware that Diablo has properly incarnated into a physical body but not because of who or why or how. They give him a chance to come greet them. He does not. And this brings us to a fic I need to post soon that I managed to write yesterday despite my hands. Point is, they show up, try to kick the shit out of him, find out he got Named, and want to kick the shit out of him even more.
So as far as dynamic in current times, the two of them are insufferable. Diablo LOVES to rile up Velvoid (this has always been true) as it means Velvoid will either attack him or put him in his place another way and he loves that. He also thinks their tsundereness is still precious and adorable even after all this time. He will also take literally every opportunity to gush about them and like this demon just goes. He does not shut up. He will keep going until someone forces him to shut up. Usually that person is an embarrassed Velvoid.
Velvoid does learn that Diablo doesn't like being called cute in front of other people, he gets all flustered and weird about it ("N-not in front of Lord Rimuru, please, Velvoid-") and they might use that to torment him a little bit. It's rare to be able to actually fluster him so they gotta, you know?
Behind closed doors (or perhaps inside of extra spatial dimensions) they're both quite cuddly and sweet. Diablo is a slut for praise and Velvoid will actually give it to him, and pet his hair while they do so and that sort of thing and he's just BEAMING he is the happiest puppy murder demon you've ever seen.
Also moments like Velvoid actually truly remarking that he's grown stronger, and truly expressing joy at him finding something that excites him and following that fully, and listening to him go off constantly (Rimuru is always shutting him up fdkjas). And Diablo more quietly and privately praising Velvoid and coaxing them into sharing their own stories and bringing them gifts from Tempest or wherever. Just. They show affection by bickering loudly and violently in public (Diabo is fully a masochist and a sadist) but also are sweet and cute in private (and sometimes a little in public).
I feel like there was more but all thoughts have fled my brain as I got soft for him.
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decepti-geek · 2 years
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'The story of Persephone is inherently about a mother losing her daughter'
Sometimes, daughters want to be lost. Sometimes, they want to die. Sometimes they both wish to be dead and are terrified by the idea that something could kill them. Sometimes, the idea that they want to die is huge and horrifying in and of itself - and it is theirs.
Sometimes, they might only wish to die in a way they have control over. Sometimes, they are terrified when they face death in a way that is not of their choosing. Sometimes, the line between the two is blurred and scary in itself.
Sometimes, their mothers really do love them, and do not seek to harm them, and still make their daughters' desire for death all about themselves. About how the pain their daughter is experiencing hurts them, and how their daughters' desire to die causes them grief, and about how these feelings are Bigger and more Important than their ultimate source. And they end up harming their daughters anyway, as a result. With their very real, genuine love.
Why is the line pushed so much atm, that Persephone entering the underworld has to be primarily about Demeter, that all other focus is wrong? (The has to being the key thing here, as one interpretation it's great, but to insist upon it as the only valuable interpretation...?)
To me, that's like... there is so much real-world precedent, where people who live in a way that is close to death, being ill physically or mentally, are dehumanised and glossed over in favour of the pain experienced by the people who love them. Closeness to death is scary, but so much of the standard western societal approach is geared around recoiling from anything to do with it, and that includes recoiling from engaging with the people who have the most to do with it. It's easier to deal with it using a degree of removal, but some people legitimately do not have a choice about that.
In my mind, Persephone is one of those people. Within the story, she has no degree of removal from the idea of death. She's already in the underworld. Demeter is removed. She never enters the underworld, she sends others down there to interpret Persephone's experience for her. Why is it only Correct to focus on Demeter, as the grieving parent? Why can't we focus on Persephone, as the dying daughter? Even as the daughter who is unambiguously drawn towards death? Even through a romanticised lens? Even, maybe, without fully realising that that's what we're doing, but still feeling out the idea?
I've been that daughter, in all senses of it. I'm still here, I'm not dead, but I've brushed close to it. I didn't stop existing as a whole entire person, just because I went close to death and came back. I didn't become A Daughter, an abstract concept, a possession, something subsumed by a louder voice of pain, just because it was too painful to contemplate that I was hurting too. I sure as fuck don't think my mum's side of the story is the only side worth telling. I sure as fuck don't regard myself as a side character in my mum's confrontation with grief, as parsed through me like some kind of vessel.
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baddygab-bi · 1 year
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@buddiebeginz has a great post and I wanna tag on, on my blog and not just in reblogs.
So read their thing first about Buck and Natalia and then come back
The actress playing Natalia is awesome and I think she’s rocking it, but they really did create this character who is basically a death groupie for a guy who is constantly surrounded by death. She would’ve been amazing as the person who helped Buck get passed his own death. But I mean, like in the way where he has a little cry and tiny breakdown and realizes “Oh, fuck, I really did die.” And then decide to have his aha moment of clarity, but instead they’re basically forcing this romance in.
What got me THE MOST though, was how they set up Buck and Natalia meeting before she was even on screen. It was the repeated “Things happen for a reason” “Things happen for a reason.” And connecting that to death. So it was literally like Buck died to meet this girl.
I repeat, Buck’s storyline didn’t become that he died and saw what he wanted out of life, saw that he was important, saw that he is valuable.
It became: Buck died and met a girl who loves death. That’s what’s bugging me a lot (along with everything else). They had this set-up to show a guy who is so hurt by the world, who was spare parts, the abandoned kid, the reckless firefighter, the man who’s alone and unloved by romantic partners, the guy who wants more out of life…
They had all of this and his death was aiming in that direction, but then they had the Buckley parents there, which was the first tick in the “Oh no, they’ve fucked it” column. Then they changed the sperm donor stuff and it became totally none existent both pre and post death to the point where all of 6a became irrelevant. Now we’re seeing the (near)death experience as nothing more than a romantic set-up.
This was rambly, but I hope I made some sense.
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catgirl-catboy · 1 year
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I love Sonia too but I agree.. And I was tend to like Soniaki more because the chapter 5 rebuttal give Sonia a great relevance.
But Gundam acting like Sparkling Justice to impress Sonia? I would find it funny and if Kazuichi calls him out for it, it could be a great humour too.
I love Peko too, my girl get therapy, pet some rabbits. It will be good and one thing too because that shit joke they made.
What do you think about Nekomaru? I read you see him and Nagito as foils and I love Nagito to the death soo
Yeah. From what little we got of Sondam, it was shaping up to be a really enjoyable romance plot. I wish Kodaka didn't have Kazuichi simping for Sonia and Sonia's narrative passivity get in the way of it.
This is not to say I'm anti Kazuichi simping. It makes sense for his character, and the fandom flanderizes him for it so hard! :( I think that perhaps he could have chosen a different target, like Mahiru, Mikan, or Chiaki.
If Kodaka picked Mahiru as the target, Kazuichi would be forced into performing masculinity in a way that's just NOT him. It'd also only last 2 chapters and would be less stale.
Mikan would work for a more comedic angle. (Hiyoko voice:) "Ewww Kazuichi get you're eyes checked.)
Chiaki would have made sense, because everyone puts her on a pedestal, Kaz would just be the most obvious about it. I also don't think she'd mind, because it might help her redeem him. Also gamer girl simps are a real thing and everyone knows one.
I think they could have made Kazuichi simping for Sonia work if Sonia felt conflicted about the whole thing. "As a princess, I should be used to this. As a person, he is ruining my chances with Gundam >:(" but Sonia's arc is both too cluttered and not busy enough. Shit just happens to her.
With that probably uninteresting tangent out of the way. (my target audience for the daily DR tedtalk is me, I am so sorry.)
Nekomaru is such a good concept: "Nagito, but healthy coping mechanisms. He does what Nagito wants to do, but fails spectacularly at."
Also, tangent: really important headcanon to me. Nekomaru has Bowel issues either due to his condition, or due to medicines he has to take for his condition. (I'm not a doctor) Nobody knows this in canon, but it makes a lot of sense.
Second tangent: His design sucks ass. I do not like it.
Third tangent: I hate the name Mechamaru, so I will not be using it. Like Gundam, Nekomaru's name is really important to him, and I don't like the (percived, possibly entirely in my head) implication that his robotification changed something key about himself like his name.
I feel like he really suffers from the fact that you don't get his life story unless you play his FTEs. I know thats how the series works most of the time, but it doesn't make sense from a character perspective. Dude overshares everything, there's no way he wouldn't mention his heart condition at least once nonchalantly.
Like: "Teruteru, can you skimp on the beef for my portion? The doctor recommends it for my heart health!"
Or: "Sorry Akane! I can't spar with you at the moment! Coach's gotta do his doctor-mandated 30 minute break in between strenuous activities."
I also feel like as a disabled person, ch4 was a missed opportunity to dissect the trope of curing disabilities and just disabilities in general. From Nekomaru's POV (he doesn't know this is fake!) Monokuma just extended his life, only to continue trying to cut it short. However, his body is now changed beyond recognition, and he now has a completely different set of limits he isn't used to.
If I were in charge of writing (aka the elaborate rewrite that only exists inside mya brain) I'd have Nagito volunteer to be killed in just your average Nagito move. But then, I'd have him mention that since he's going to die anyway, his life is less valuable than the others.
This would really set Nekomaru off. He'd tell Nagito to stop that negative self-talk, since it affects others to! By saying that, he's implying that his life is less valuable since he was going to die young. That he knows his life has just as much meaning as everyone else's, but chose to give it up for Akane anyways.
If you really want to comment on complex issues, maybe bring in Fuyuhiko's recent vision loss and that he's struggling with it.
Nagito's so high on copium that the point flies right over his fluffy little head.
I'd imagine the rest of Ch4 proceeds as normal.
I also feel like it was a missed opportunity to have Nekomaru be absent for Ch3 specifically, when he could have been absent for Ch2, where he had little plot relevance. He's spent his life in the hospital, he's a natural pick for hospital staff alongside Hajime and Fuyuhiko. Its also sad that despite his relationship with Akane (which I really like, actually!), he never actually see's her hidden depths onscreen or her at her lowest.
Imagine the drama. :)
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survey--s · 1 year
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517.
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Are you bothered by your cosmic insignificance? Actually, I find it quite reassuring that my actions aren’t really that significant. I think I’d feel too much pressure otherwise.
Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known? No.
Do you really think there is somebody for everybody? No. It’s a nice idea but I don’t think the world works like that.
Do you place any value in gender roles? Well, it depends what you mean by gender roles. I don’t think we do ourselves any favours by trying to pretend that men and women aren’t biologically different in some ways.
Do you have to be related to be family? No.
Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones? I don’t really have any platonic friendships, but theoretically yes, sure.
Are you in love? Do you want to be? Yes.
Do you think you can put love into categories (family, platonic, romantic, etc.) or is it just one general sensation? I don’t really understand why you’d want to categorise an emotion like that.
Would you be happy with a life without romance? Yeah, romance isn’t a huge deal to me.
Are you always going to be a little in love with somebody? How can anyone possibly answer that for certain?
Would you change your appearance if you could? Yeah, a few parts of it.
Do you have the feeling you’ve lost something you might have had in another life - whether it be a person, a place, a world, a language, etc.? No.
Do you believe in reincarnation? No. 
Would you want to be reincarnated? If I could choose what I was reincarnated as, sure.
Do you think you’re special, or just another person amongst billions? Can you be both? I think everyone is special in that they’re unique, but we’re still just very small fish in a very, very large pond.
Do theoretical ethical debates have any value? Is it important people discuss ethical dilemmas, e.g. the trolley problem? I mean, I guess they do to an extent, but they’re not for me.
Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them? I did as a little kid, sure. I don’t as an adult.
Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? No.
If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why? I mean, if I wanted to join a religion, I could. I have zero interest in it though as it makes absolutely no sense to me.
Do you want a grand adventure? Not really - it sounds like a lot of effort lol.
Do you have somebody, whether it be a friend or stranger, who you think you could have loved if the circumstances were different? It’s not really something I’ve ever thought about.
Do you think you really understand your gender and sexuality? I don’t really think that there’s anything to understand.
How fluid is your concept of gender and sexuality? I mean, I don’t understand the whole idea of people thinking they can change sex. You can’t change your biology - I know that’s a hugely unpopular view these days though so I don’t tend to talk about it real life much. I mean, I have no issues with people wanting to have surgery to remove their genitals or whatever - you do you - but getting your penis removed doesn’t make you a woman - it makes you a man without a penis, lol. In terms of sexuality, people can be attracted to whoever they like as long as they’re not causing any harm.
What’s the most life-changing choice you’ve made so far? Choosing to move up to Cumbria.
Are you afraid of growing old? Old age doesn’t scare me, but getting dementia or something does.
Would you want to live forever? How about for a billion years, a million, a millennium, a century? Not forever, but a century or so would be pretty cool.
Do you believe in some form of god/s? No.
Are your choices fated or of your own free will? Hmm, I don’t believe in fate but equally I don’t think anyone has true free will as we’re all restricted by the society we live in in some ways.
Do you have a hunch about how you’re going to die? No.
Do you believe in star signs? No.
How old do you have to be to be considered an adult? Well, in the UK you become an adult at eighteen.
Was your childhood happy? My young childhood was, yes. My teenage years were a bit of a rollercoaster though.
What are you missing from your life? Money lol.
Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? Yeah, generally we got along fine.
Do opposites attract? In some ways, yes.
Is your life what you expected it would be five years ago? Nope. I had absolutely no idea this is how my life would turn out but I’m really grateful that it HAS turned out like this.
Do you know what you want out of life? I just want to be happy.
What makes a person ‘good’? Are you a ‘good person’? I don’t think there’s any one definition of being a good person.
What fundamentally matters to you? Happiness, loyalty, honesty.
Is freewill an illusion? Yes, definitely. Like, we’re hugely influenced by how we’re raised and the society that we live in - plus we can’t just do whatever we want without considering the impact - so we’re restricted by money and time and other people etc.
Do you create art? How do you define art? No.
How often do you lie? Is all lying inherently bad? Are you generally truthful? I don’t really pay attention to that kind of thing but I’m not someone who thinks lying is some kind of moral failure, necessarily.
Do you want to be remembered after your death? What for? I don’t really care about how I’m remembered - I mean, I’ll be dead, I’ll have absolutely no idea what people think or say about me.
Is true world peace ever possible? No.
Do you have to suffer to truly understand the human condition? What is the human condition? How can you really experience it? Bleh.
Are you free? Will you ever be? Can anyone be truly free? I’m as free as I feel I can be within the confines of society. I run my own business so I can pick my hours and my clients. I don’t have children so I’m not restricted in that sense either.
Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? Sometimes.
What do you expect from a friend or partner? Honesty, loyalty, hard work, support.
What question could you ask to find out the most about a person? That depends on the person.
Do you justify all your beliefs or have you just inherited/absorbed some? I really don’t feel like I need to justify any of my beliefs.
Which beliefs do you have that is most likely to be wrong? If I felt like they were wrong, I wouldn’t believe them?
Can humans really understand the complete nature of the universe, space and time? I don’t really think anyone can.
Is a consciousness what makes someone a person? No. Otherwise you’re implying that someone in a coma is no longer a person?
What do you think about artificial intelligence? It’s really interesting to me, but I totally get why it freaks people out.
Do you thinks humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing? I don’t think we’re obsessed as such, but I can totally understand why people find it so interesting and fascinating. I think it only becomes a bad thing when it starts interfering with your relationships and your job, etc.
Are we eventually going to ‘run out’ of new combinations for music, art, language, etc.? Is there a limit to human creativity? No, I don’t think so, because society is always changing and we’re always discovering new things.
What do you think the next era of music will be like? Who knows.
What do you think the next era of fashion will be like? ....
Do we live in tumultuous times, or do they just seem so strange because we’re living in them? I still find it really weird that we’ve lived through global lockdowns and a pandemic - like, I remember learning about the plague at school and thinking how scary it must be, but in real life it just felt so normal, lol. Now it all feels like some kind of weird fever dream.
Would you want to meet a clone of yourself? Would you like them? I’d like to meet them, but I’m not sure if I’d like them.
How confident are you, really? I’m very confident on my own, but not so much around other people.
How consistent is your perception of time? I mean, consistent enough, I guess.
What age should people be allowed to vote? Should children and teenagers be allowed to vote? I think eighteen is fine.
How do you feel about the idea ‘an eye for an eye’? I don’t agree with it.
What’s the worse thing a person can be? I don’t know - probably some kind of child or animal torturer.
How do you feel about monogamy? I don’t really have an opinion - I mean, as long as everyone is happy, I don’t feel as though it’s any of my business.
Can you be in love with someone and still fall in love with someone else? Sure, I don’t see why love has to be restricted to just one person.
What’s the tragedy of your life? What a bizarre way of viewing things.
Would your life make a good play? I think it would be pretty boring lol.
Should people be prosecuted for crimes that weren’t considered crimes at the time? No. You can’t retrospectively lock people up for stuff that was legal - that’s batshittery in the extreme.
Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation? No and no.
Do you believe in gender equality in every aspect? Well, it’s not possible for men and women to be truly equal - that’s just basic science.
Do we have a moral obligation to care for others? To what extent? Hmm, I think we have an obligation to be polite to people.
Do you crave approval and/or praise? I wouldn’t say I crave it, but I do enjoy it.
Is there comedy in all tragedy and tragedy in all comedy? Yeah, I suppose so.
Are you ever going to be satisfied? I am satisfied.
When you are sad, do you listen to music that conveys your emotions or music that makes you happy? It depends whether I’m in the mood to wallow or whether I need to get out of whatever funk I’m in lol.
Is your music organised by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time? It’s kind of organised by mood, I guess. Like, when I’m making playlists, I’ll pick one song then add songs that Spotify suggests and that I like.
Would you marry a friend if they needed you to (e.g. for citizenship)? Hypothetically I might do, sure.
Are you a deep person? I don’t think I’m any more/less deep than anyone else?
Given the chance to live your life on Mars, with no hope of returning to Earth but with the promise of scientific discovery and glory, would you take it? No.
Are you who people think you are? I don’t know what people think I am.
Do you think you would be happier if you had been born a different gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, nationality or religion? I have no idea. Nobody can say that for certain either way.
What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself and fix it? I don’t really know.
Do you anger easily? I don’t really get angry, but I am easily irritated.
Are you a jealous person? Not really.
If you lost all your memories, would you have the same personality? No.
Given the chance to reset your life (with none of the knowledge you currently have), would you take it? Nope.
Is hate as strong as love? Who do you hate? I don’t hate anyone.
Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn? I speak two, but I always dream in England. I’d love to improve my Italian.
Do you draw meaning from your dreams, or do you disregard them? No.
How would you describe yourself when you love? Do you love forcefully, unconditionally, gently, quietly, desperately? Quietly.
Is unrequited love real love? Sure.
Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? I have absolutely no idea.
Are you overly analytical? I can be.
Do you ever feel that you are really a terrible person, and only act good out of societal or some other obligation? No.
Do you believe in magic? Are you superstitious? No and no.
What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in? I can’t really think of anything that’s particularly illogical.
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chili-mango · 5 months
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dammit readmore, work properly.
Honestly I just. I wish you'd put your pride and bitterness aside for me. I wish it was more important to you that I feel safe and cared for than for you to feel... I don't know. Successful? Comfortable? Justified in your rejection? Something. Whatever it is.
I just feel sometimes like you think it's more important that I stay with you and keep you feeling taken care of than that I feel taken care of. Maybe that's not true. It's probably not true.
But I feel like I DID try to ask you for what I needed to feel taken care of and instead of wanting to make sure I was taken care of, you either just straight-up didn't understand what I was asking you to do, or you felt you couldn't achieve what I needed and that made you feel like you weren't enough and you got defensive.
Which, like. I get it. I do. I've started to feel like not enough and gotten defensive because that hurt my ego. It attacked my sense of self as a good, empathetic, supportive, understanding, patient partner. The fact I started to feel like my needs weren't being met because you were too depressed to meet them even after I'd done my best to be supportive and understanding and self-sacrificing and patient made me by turns resentful for not getting what I needed AND ashamed that I couldn't be eternally patient, eternally giving.
And then when I would try to communicate a need, it seemed to be either misunderstood or make you feel terrible. So I learned not to express my needs, or when I had to, to communicate them without genuine vulnerability-- to demand, to cajole, to show frustration or condescension because I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO KEEP ASKING FOR YOU, WHO LOVES ME, TO CARE FOR ME IN THE WAY I ACTUALLY WOULD FEEL CARED FOR.
Maybe if I HAD been more patient, or more vulnerable, if I'd been able to keep asking gently for what I needed, if I hadn't shut down and gotten discouraged, you wouldn't have felt so threatened and criticized. But at the same time, maybe if you hadn't been so defensive or so wrapped up in the unworthiness you felt, I could have felt like you were safe to communicate with.
I genuinely just have no idea what to do to make us work, even if, deep down, I just wish we could. I chose you for a reason. I chose you because I did think you were good enough and worthy enough and valuable enough. It's just that you having worth as a person doesn't mean I make enough money to support us both-- every time we've gotten together I lose ALL my savings AND any grandparents' inheritance trying to keep us afloat-- nor does it mean that you expressing constant fatalistic dissatisfaction with your life doesn’t also get ME thinking in depressive loops.
I can't do that. It's quite literally an existential threat to me. I would get so suicidal, I would get to the point I was constantly wanting to not wake up, hoping I would get hit by a fucking car, but getting up and going into work anyway because you were depending on me.
I don't know if you knew that, actually. Maybe you didn't. Maybe you don't know I wanted to die, and the only reason I didn't was because I thought it would make your life harder (though, I mean, you WOULD have gotten my life insurance payout; you still would, you're still listed as my benefits recipient). (Also, I promised my little sister years ago that I wouldn't do that, and I'm keeping my word.)
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iheartmalewives · 2 years
Text
"Paper Rings"
RUGGIE BUCCHI X GN!reader
You come from a royal family, always getting spoiled and pampered no matter the circumstances. When you met Ruggie Bucchi, you were rather confused on to why he was so materialistic and always appreciating the little things. Soon enough, you got to appreciate the little things too, and its all because of him.
"Omg zen is this inspired by Taylor s-" YES. SHE IS MY QUEEN. I WILL DIE FOR TAYLOR SWIFT AND I PRAISE HER. Ok that was cringe but you get what i mean...
I wanted to write this because i cant stop daydreaming ruggie bucchi with THIS very song. Credits to anyone who did it first btw ! (And credits to Xav for the plot ^^ )
short story bc ... Im running out of data.
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When you and Ruggie first interacted with each other, it was awkward and uncomfortable. A commoner like him shouldn't be around a royal like you, it was obvious.
The way you acted though was really starting to get on Ruggie's nerves, its as if you were sheltered away from the REAL world.
You always talk big for some reason, throwing away foods that werent even spoiled yet, you don't even know much about 'surviving' and you seem to unconsciously say things about how you're a royal and had never experienced those hardships.
He wanted to teach you a lesson, an important one perhaps. Thats why he would sometimes lecture you about how you shouldn't waste food and how theres some people out there who desperately need it, and it seems to be working as you were slowly starting to appreciate things even if they werent valuable.
You learned a thing or two everyday with him and you both enjoyed your time together, you realized how much u fell for a guy like him.
Ruggie thought it was a miracle for a Royal like you to like a commoner like him, but soon after all that non sense corny confessions, you dated.
Even if you dreamt about a man kneeling on one knee, proposing to you with an expensive ring on his hand, you didnt care anymore.
When you dated ruggie, every little thing he gave you were much more valuable than anything in the world. Words cant describe how grateful you are to meet a guy like him.
"You know how you like "shiny things"?" Ruggie looked at you as you read through a book that piqued your interest. You stopped for a bit, placing the book down.
"Yeah. And what about it?" You replied, placing your chin on top of the table, patiently waiting for his answer. "Would you still marry me if I gave you a paper ring thats colored with colored markers instead of a shiny jewelry?"
You laughed abruptly at his question, tears threatening to fall down your eyes as you laughed even harder than before. He looked at you and scoffed, "Im serious here! Would ya?", He asked again, eyebrows furrowed as he glared at you.
"Of course I would! Is that even a question?" You smiled, ever so lovingly, making Ruggie's heart beat race. "My my, it seems that I have taught my princess/prince well."
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AAACK RUGHIE BUCCH MY BELOVED RUHGGVIDIEISJABAKDVKQVSKQBAJABAKABAJ you know what im divorcing trey for this man/j kidding i love them both........so.... Ill just marry them both 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
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phoenixyfriend · 3 years
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👀 PLease tell us your thoughts about the Jedi babies re-growing up among different cultural contexts.
Oh fuck okay
Context: original post, chrono The specific post this ask is referencing: here
Summary of the AU: Disaster lineage got tossed back in time. Anakin stayed 21-ish, but Obi-Wan and Ahsoka got deaged, took new names for time-travel reasons (Ylliben and Sokanth, or Ben and Soka), are now staying with the True Mandalorians under Jaster Mereel because the Force said to, go back to the Temple after about a decade. They grabbed Shmi about three months after arriving.
So as far as the cultural background goes, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka had similar upbringings. She spent a few years on Shili first, but both spent the majority of their childhoods up to age 13/14 being raised in the creche. So that's the basis that they would default to, in a vacuum.
Nobody is raised in a vacuum.
Along with the Jedi cultural background, they're being raised by Tatooine natives in a Mandalorian environment.
Shmi and Anakin are both former slaves who have desert survival baked into their bones. The longer Anakin spends around her, the more his accent slips, the more he talks about old folktales, the more he uses idioms that don't exist on a cityplanet like Coruscant. All the things that he tamped down to be a Jedi come floating back to the surface, and Shmi's never known anything else. Anakin's knowledge of slave customs make her feel more comfortable, which in turn makes him feel better, and so on.
Mandalore is just... the culture they're living in. You don't grow up in a new culture with a new language without picking up on it personally. (Source: I moved to the US when I was a little under two years old.)
I think the thing I'm going to focus on as an example is the way each of these cultures approaches family, and then maybe how they approach the keeping of peace/what peace means.
Jedi: Where you come from means little, only the legacy you leave behind in your students. Mandalore: You protect your clan and your children; adoption is a major cultural value, if not actually practiced consistently. Tatooine: You can lose your family at any time, so you value what you have in all its forms. You don’t forget where and who you came from, to family of blood and family of choice alike. You cling to your memories and what little you still have of them, to what your master cannot take away.
These are all valid ways to approach family, and each of these approaches can have significant meaning to different people. But they do all, to a certain degree, conflict with one another, despite all three being fairly communal cultures.
The Jedi have a culture, one that’s built on a shared ability and religion over thousands of years. It’s not just an organization, but a continuous community with legends and traditions and art and records. But it’s one that is built on new blood coming in from the outside, volunteers who join because the religion speaks to them (near literally, given the nature of Force Sensitivity), given up by families who couldn’t or wouldn’t teach them in a way that let their talents flourish instead of pushing it all down.
For the Jedi, a culture built on people coming together due to something they have in common intrinsically that their families of blood do not, it makes sense to put emphasis on letting go of that past when they can, and to place importance on teaching lineages. It’s not just the official master-padawan pairs, either, but that’s the most obvious and easily paralleled element. Moreover, a lot of the Jedi culture is about gaining knowledge, so obviously spreading it is good, and also on supporting the galaxy to make it a better place; to view the Jedi order as a heavily communal culture would make sense, since their values are all about selfless betterment of the universe, which on a larger scale is about the galactic conflicts, but on a smaller scale is about supporting their own community, the children and the ill and elderly.
So that is the specific culture that Obi-Wan and Ahsoka grew up in, one that holds blood family as relevant but not particularly crucial to one’s identity, but is structured so people leave behind legacies through education in a manner that often becomes adoptive family (depending on your definition, I guess). Jedi are encouraged to connect to their home cultures, if not their families, with practices like the coming of age hunt for Togruta leading to the young Jedi taking a trip out to Shili to engage in that cultural milestone. This can also be viewed as a way for the Jedi to maintain personal connections to the wider universe, a (not entirely successful, but certainly attempted) way of keeping them from becoming too isolated and insular from the universe at large, and losing touch from what the galaxy actually needs of them.
They’re now growing up with two cultures that do place emphasis on blood and found family.
Mandalore, as presented in The Mandalorian, has their traditional values set as being heavily associated with their armor, battle skills, and childcare. While that’s clearly a set of values that aren’t actually followed by everyone with full sincerity, we can assume that these stated cultural values do have at least some impact on the way the society is structured, since we do see more traditional characters (Jaster, Din) adopt orphaned children and then have the Mandalorian elements of their immediate circles support that claim.
(We’ll ignore Jango and the whole clone army thing because the amount of Sith influence is up for debate and also holy trauma, Batman.)
However, we also see that a lot of Mandalorian culture is built on their family histories. On the New Mandalorian side, we see emphasis placed on the fact that Satine is House Kryze and that she’s a duchess. Her bloodline is relevant, though not the most important thing about her. On the Death Watch side, we have Pre and Tor placing emphasis on the fact that they’re Clan Vizsla, descended from Tarre, that this is important to why they deserve what the darksaber represents, this is part of why they not only deserve to lead, but should for the good of Mandalore.
Bo-Katan’s armor is a family heirloom. Boba’s armor was Jango’s, but before being Jango’s, it was Jaster’s. Armor is important enough to pass to family, but the family can be adopted. This all tracks.
The resol’nare specifies loyalty and care for the clan/tribe among the six tenets.
These two elements seem relatively well-balanced: the importance of adoption and the importance of family as a larger unit on the level of a house or clan.
And then you have Tatooine, which also balances blood and adoption, but for entirely different reasons, that being this: it can always be taken from you.
For all that a Mandalorian could historically expect their family to die in battle, and a Jedi could expect to lose their master the same way if things went poorly, those were usually choices. A Mandalorian was raised to walk into battle, and then they could make that choice to do so. It wasn’t often much of a choice, but they could feasibly turn their back and choose to be a farmer or a doctor or something, and support the people who went out to do battle instead of being the one on the field themselves. A Jedi could choose to be a healer or an archivist or join one of the Corps.
A slave does not get that choice. A slave can be killed or sold on a whim from their master. It’s not a one-time trauma, but an ever-present fear. Your parent, your child, your sibling, your spouse, all of them can be separated from you at any time. You can always lose them, and you have no choice but to grin and bear it, or try to run and die before you reach freedom.
In a context like that, I imagine Tatooine places a very heavy emphasis on family, both of blood and of choice, and on treasuring what you have while you have it. A person is always aware that they can lose whoever they have in their life, and so they make the most of their times together, have clear and consistent ways of expressing that love (I imagine primarily direct verbal confirmations and physical contact, practical gifts like water and fruit). Childcare is important, elders are venerated. Those who survived that far have valuable wisdom, and the children are to be given what happiness they can have before reality wipes that ability from them.
The family ‘networks’ among Tatooine slaves are smaller and tighter knit. There’s less trust for outsiders, but once you’re in, you’re in until you are taken away. Still, families are torn apart regularly, and often can’t contact each other after being separated if they’re sold far enough away, so families stay small because they’re always being broken up. Unlike Mandalore’s tribe/clan system, or the Jedi’s wide, loosely-structured community, Tatooine’s slaves form smaller groups that cling for as long as they can, and try to support each other. (There are selfish ones, of course, especially the newbies, but... well. Most try.)
Tatooine is also much more likely to assign a familial role (e.g. referring to an elder as ‘grandmother’). It’s not uncommon in the others (multiple Jedi refer to their masters as a parent or sibling, like Anakin’s “you’re like a father to me” line), but it’s not as baked-in that such a role should be given.
So on a structural level, we have two people from a community culture with little emphasis on blood family or formal familial roles are now being raised in a community that has them asking “what can you do for the people around you first, and then the wider world?” by people who tell them “your family, blood and found, is the most important thing you have; never let anyone take more from you than they possibly can.”
And that shit has an effect.
For all that Sokanth and Ylliben were once raised with a knowledge that their duty, their goal, was to better the galaxy as a whole, they are now being told that the community that raises them asks their loyalty back, because societies are built on support networks, and if you support the tribe, it will support you. There are parallels to that kind of thinking among Jedi, because it is basic social theory, but it’s not presented as the same kind of cultural value. It’s not given as something to strive for, just a basic fact.
This, for instance, means that once they’re back at the Temple, they have a tendency towards suggesting study groups and other ways of supporting people in their immediate circle, often structured in very unfamiliar ways. Again, this isn’t uncommon among Jedi, but it’s not done in the same way, or with the same emphasis. The Jedi also often approach problem-solving in a different order, so the step of “meditate on it and you may find your solution” often comes before “gather information from people who know more about it than you do,” while Ben and Soka have by this point learned to do it the other way around, because that’s what the Mandalorian system taught them: rely on your family first.
Meanwhile, the Tatooine element of their upbringing has them being much more willing to just... casually refer to ‘my dad’ and ‘my sister’ and so on. They use those words. It’s not just “my master is like a father to me,” but “this is my father.” They don’t hesitate to talk about the family they had and still have in Mandalorian space. None of the Jedi begrudge them it, really, but it’s always a shock to hear for the first time, and between the Tatooine refusal to pretend the connection is gone and the Mandalorian tendency to err on the side of roughhousing as affection, they’re just... odd. It’s not like none of the other Jedi know family outside the Order--some of the old books had Obi-Wan visiting his brother on Stewjon once in a while--or like none of the active Jedi are loud or boisterous, but the specific manner in which Soka and Ben interact with the Order, especially when their dad is around, is very weird.
More Soka than Ben, really, but that’s mostly just because Ben’s a very quiet person until he gets a little older, so it’s harder to notice on him.
Point is, while they still hold to their duty to the wider galaxy and will continue to keep that duty above almost anything else in their lives, the way they talk and act about the subject of family, especially in private, is heavily influenced by their new cultures.
This is already very long but I promised I’d talk about peace so let’s go:
The Jedi seek peace as an absence of war and conflict in the portion of the galaxy under their purview, in hopes that they will prevent as much suffering and death as they can.
The Mandalorians are varied, but Jaster Mereel’s group (which is the community the Skywalkers are with) is likely to view peace as unrealistic to achieve in the long term. They do not seek war, but they know the world they live in, and are prepared to protect against violence as their first resort. They always expect an attack, even if they don’t seek it.
The Slaves of Tatooine view peace as the calm in a storm. It is the status quo. Nobody has escaped tonight, for the guards aren’t searching, but neither is anyone dead. The Master you have is in a good enough mood to not sell you, to not kill you, to not beat you. Peace as an absence of suffering is impossible, so you seek for your master to be peaceful, that is to say: not raging at you.
The scope of each of these narrows significantly. From the known galaxy, to the wars that meet Mandalorian space, to the household one serves.
A community like the Jedi can choose to address peace as something to be sought on a large scale as an absence of war. They primarily function within the borders of the Republic, which has its problems but is largely structured to prevent such things from occurring until the Sith interfere. The Jedi have a structure that allows them to address peace as an ideal to be sought, at least within the borders of the territory they serve.
Mandalore, meanwhile, has been at war on and off for... ever. When they are not at war with themselves, they’re at war with someone else. ‘Peace’ is just the time between wars, and they know that if they do not attack first, they will be forced to defend. Jaster Mereel was known as the Reformer, and part of that was that instituting a code of honor, one that was intended to prevent Mandalorian warriors from acting as raiders and brigands, but rather acting as honorable hired soldiers, or taking roles such as the Journeyman Protectors. Given that, I imagine that he views war as something inevitable, but also something that can be mitigated.
War doesn’t touch Tatooine.
Oh, it might raise taxes and import rates. It might prevent visitors who come for the races. It can do a lot of things.
But to a slave, these are nothing. The only thing war does is affect the master, the person who chooses when their slaves get water, when they get beaten, when they are no longer useful enough to keep around or keep alive.
The peace of a slave’s live is dictated by how much abuse they are subjected to by the person who owns them.
What this means for Soka and Ben is... well, they are viewed as war-hungry by the people who don’t know them very well. They have armor. They focus on fighting, both with and without their sabers. They know tactics better than most masters. They claim that war is coming, and don’t seem too sad about it.
(It is a fact to them. War will come. All they can do is meet it. They’ve already done their mourning once.)
They also... well, Shmi tells them things in hidden corners. How to duck their head to hide the hate or fear in their eyes. How to watch for the anger in the tendons of a hand. The laugh of someone who enjoys the pain they’ve caused, not just the adrenaline of a fight. She is free, and so are they, but she has not forgotten how to hide in the shadows until the master’s ire has turned elsewhere. How to be small and quiet and unseen until the danger passes.
A Jedi’s first resort is words. Their second is their saber. But the Jeedai hold their heads high, and the Mandalorians do the same.
“You rely on the Force, and you have your pride,” she tells them, her hands on their own. “But there will come a time when you will not be able to remind people that you are free. You will not be able to say that you are a person, that you deserve the respect of a living sentient. Perhaps it will be a politician who treats everyone like that. Perhaps you will be captured by an enemy. Perhaps you will be undercover. You will not be able to fight, with words or with weapons, and you will have to know how to survive.”
Tatooine does not have peace. Tatooine only has survival.
And while Jedi fight for the survival and peace of the universe, they are refined and composed. Mando’ade fight like warriors of old, and Tatooine slaves fight like cornered, rabid anooba.
The galaxy comes first, but when the chips are down and the Sith come out to play, Soka and Ben do not need refinement, because they know how to toss aside their pride and live.
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