#and so many great pieces go by on my dash but i'm like. unsure i'm *allowed* to share

[townofcadence]

So I've seen a lot of people with rules against reblogging their art. And I totally understand and respect that! If you don't want it shared, that's 100% your decision. I've been trying to adhere to that by only replying or liking things. I totally get not wanting your stuff to break containment in any way, or having issues tracking things if the notes get too big, or even anxiety being seen by too many people! But-- now I've been thinking about how my way of handling things could effect friends who do want people to share things? I've made an effort not to cause problems by reblogging art, in case someone might not want me to (even if it's not necessarily in their rules, since sometimes those posts are made ooc, but not added). But lately I've been feeling maybe avoiding it entirely just in case ends up with me not supporting my mutuals' art, even if i might really like the work and they might want it to be shared. And I don't want it to seem like I don't care or don't think it's good enough to share or something because of anxiety. Soooo if you post art and you're okay with me reblogging it and tag talking about what you make if I want to, could you maybe give this a like or a reply so i know it's cool? So I can reference this in the future if my soup brain forgets? You can also reply if you have specific rules, besides the obvious 'if it's tagged with do not reblog, do not reblog' or something lol. But I want to make an active effort to support people who want to share if i like it!

[ladyyatexel]

Have you been thinking that there's a real lack of hopeless strangers on your dash asking for help lately? ☆Congratulations, I have arrived!☆

I feel obligated to a certain level of jesterdom while doing this, like perhaps I can earn my keep by entertaining people. It's bleak and humiliating, but we're gonna Have Fun With It! :D This is perhaps more a note to make to self and to a therapist rather than note here, but it segues well into the important point of:

~.•°¤.°•○~☆ I Can't Afford Shit ☆•*.°○.•°*×

let alone a therapist

I'm currently stuck in a weird position, both physically and situationally, because I have some sciatica scoliosis spinal bone spur nonsense that decided that now was its time to shine. I'm in pain all the time at every angle and position, so I'm not doing Great?

I'm in the middle of the process of filing for disability and if you've ever applied for a job and been frustrated that you gave them all of your information and then the application asked you to give them the same information all over again, applying for disability is like doing that, but times 40, and with information you don't have memorized the way you have your phone number and home address. They also insist on doing it through the mail. My next step is to be evaluated by some kind of impartial physician. My appointments are in mid to late July. I am unsure what they want me to do with myself until that time.

The work I'm trying to do is not enough. I'm making buttons like crazy but in the end they are just buttons and they sell for 2 to $4 and so you really need to be someone who is absolutely psyched about buttons and buys 40 of them or I need to tap into a market that is Larger in order for this to be reliably sustaining. I do not know what that market is. I was the weird kid in school - what is popular, I don't know, I was never meant to know, it is a mystery.

Do not get me wrong, I am currently holding my face above water because of some really enthusiastic fans of buttons.

But I can't sell a month's rent worth of buttons. I don't even think I have the supplies to make that many.

My rent is USD$670, which is hiked up an extra $70 from where it was last year because my landlord wanted to bleed me dry while the world is on fire. Despite how poorly insulated and badly maintained this house is as a structure, I do enjoy having even a badly insulated roof and a place to put all my shit.

If you've got a need for $700 worth of buttons for some reason, hit me up.

If you don't, then hey, I'm another artist in crippling pain on your dash hoping people in better situations than I can help out. I would love to cover my rent to remove that anxiety for myself for another month, but Every Bill keeps happening, so more beyond that it going to my electric which hasn't been paid since February, and my internet which will keep me afloat in nearly every way possible. I'm also almost at the bottom of the bag of Science Diet food that keeps my beloved cat, Onyx, healthy. I do not know how best to keep a ticker tape of a goal, because there isn't one? I need to survive until at least July. It's June 17th as I write this. Two months rent and some cat food? Don't know, I'm five minutes from a phone call which will determine if they will still allow me food stamps.

SO.

Ways in which I can dance for your amusement so that you may throw coins in my direction:

Art Commissions! I can paint like a motherfucker! I have an extremely ill-advised expensive piece of paper saying I can do it!

Check it out, man. There are COLORS and everything.

Radical.

I have a Patreon where you can see Secrets!

And a Ko-fi! I sell buttons on Ko-fi, in case you were wondering when that plot point would come back. It's not very satisfying narratively, I am sorry. Thinking about offering prints there, as well!

I have other options in my sidebar - RedBubble, Society6, etc!

There is also paypal.me/ladyyatexel if you just want to give money to my literally actually broken ass without getting a cool item in return.

And yes, if you're thinking this all looks and feels kinda familiar, I had to dance and beg on the internet in Dec 2021, and I made that go as far as I possibly could. It's six months later and everything I'm trying to do to better my situations is just taking Forever. I'm trying to come up with a way to stay afloat while rescuing myself takes its time.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far, friend. Even just knowing someone listened to you yelling for a minute is helpful.

No need to feel obligated, especially if you don't feel I deserve a second round of help, I understand. But if you wanna spread this around and let me 'Will Art For Food' on someone else's dash, that would be sick.

Take care of yourselves, friends, it is brutal out there.

[serenityseventeen]

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Twelfth Letter

----------------

To: Chwe Hansol/Vernon

From: Y/N

Hello, Vernon.

It hasn't been that long. Actually, as I'm writing this letter, we had our first kiss a few days ago.

I guess I must have the worst timing when it comes to love or just falling in love in general. Maybe I took way too long getting to know you. Maybe I didn't believe in myself enough and I let the curse take effect again.

I told you about how I had the worst luck with love. During all of my time in graduate school, I haven't fallen in love again, but now, I guess I have fallen in love with you.

I don't know what it is that made me realize what I had for you was love, but from the moment we met, I felt a spark in my chest.

That day when I had my ears plugged with white headphones, looking down at my phone with music blasted high, you grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to your chest. You also had headphones on.

I guess that left a great first impression.

You saved me from a dashing motorbike that could have crashed into me and for the first time in years, I felt my heart race. With your hand holding my back, you asked me if I was okay, but I couldn't hear a thing.

Then, you removed my headphones and brought me back to reality when I was having a daze.

“Are you okay?” You asked as you let go of my body. “You should watch where you're going, always.”

I was almost too caught up in your handsome visuals to say anything. Your eyes were such a beautiful brown and your foreign-like visuals were mesmerizing. In the end, I just nodded and thanked you for saving me.

As you were walking down the street, about to plug in your headphone piece that fell, I was still able to feel my heart thumping. I brought my hand to my chest and I knew this undeniable feeling.

That's when I called out to you and told you that I'd repay you.

Liking you brought back the feeling of having a youthful crush. I felt like I could fall in love again. It felt like I was returning to my youth and I was able to recover all those broken love stories with yours. Of course, I knew I was just getting ahead of myself.

I didn't expect anything from us. Our career paths and majors were similar but also different. We didn't get to see each other often and when we did, it was usually always coincidental; at the coffee shop nearby, or library, or the burger place nearby campus... It was just like that for us.

We didn't start hanging out until I asked you out to the movies. Well, not really ‘asking you out’, I just asked to hang out as repayment, since you saved me from getting hit by a bike. I remembered that you liked to watch movies.

I guess that would be named our first date for me. It was fun, sad, and scary, thrilling, and fun, and I could tell that you enjoyed the movie a lot. It was awkward being at the movie theater with you at first, but the moment we sat down, you talked to me casually, making me feel comfortable when I was the one who should have made you.

You acted like yourself during the entire movie and seeing that side of you made my heart race. You laughed and clapped out loud. At times, you seemed to be an extrovert who was confident, and at times, you seemed to be a quiet introvert. Your personality baffled me in a good way but I know one thing for sure.

You give the best reactions.

Watching you laugh at the movie was enough to make me almost laugh as well. Before I knew it, I was enjoying it just as much as you did. I think the fact that I was with you left an impact on my happiness during that movie.

Vernon, you're a fun guy. We started hanging out more often after the movies. Sometimes we would even grab lunch together, go buy books, chill at the beach watching the waves, stay cool at a pool, etc, whenever we had free time. We also talked a lot with each other.

I liked that we talked a lot with each other. I had only a few friends that I could talk to but with you, I felt like I could tell you anything. You just had this trustworthy aura floating around you at all times and I knew I could trust you.

You seemed to tell me everything too. I'm glad that I could vent out my anger to you and you would always be willing to listen to me and give me advice. I'm also glad that I was able to hear all of your problems and help you with them too.

I remember a day, when we were walking in the park while drinking soda, you told me about your insecurities. It was the first time you ever brought it up. Usually, we didn't talk about anything too personal like that - just our families, work, friends, hobbies. Yet, you were able to tell me about what you were insecure about.

To me, Vernon, you seemed like a perfect guy that I didn't even know you had such insecurities. I don't want to write them down in this letter to you just in case someone reads it, so I won't. I'm glad I was able to make you feel better about your insecurities though. I just always remembered your insecurity and complimenting that part of your body made me feel happier too. I can still remember that smile of yours when I complimented it. It was so bright, shining, and warm.

Since you were able to tell me such things, I felt that I could tell you such things about myself too. I had many insecurities and as a person, I wasn't satisfied at all with how I looked. To me, everything about my body seemed like a flaw.

Thank you, Vernon. I can still remember that scolding tone of yours when you responded to my confessions.

“What are you talking about? Why are you even insecure about that? You are literally- your skin is perfect! Your hair- it's not oily at all?! And your fingers- I mean, they are so delicate, how could you even be insecure of them?”

I wanted to say the same thing to you. How could you be insecure about that one thing? To me, you were complete perfection with imperfections, and it was alright to be that way.

You took my hand and that's when I noticed your long and large hand. It was much bigger than but since it was the first time our hands were up against each other, I could finally compare the size; which revealed to be strikingly different, unsurprisingly.

Vernon, you were like a therapist. Every week that I spent with you, my feelings began to grow. I'm sure I loved you but at the same time, this feeling that I feel for you seems to be like friendship. I don't know if I love you as a lover or a friend.

I guess spending so much time with you made me realize what a great guy you are as a friend and potential boyfriend. I would be glad to keep you as both, it doesn't matter which one. I just wish that I could keep you by my side; though it's quite obvious that being friends is the more obvious chance.

A few days ago, we kissed each other.

I know you know which day that is because it's your birthday. You held a small celebration and invited me over. Of course, I wasn't expecting much but since it was your birthday, I decided, “Why not get dolled up for it?”

After the birthday party, we were both a bit drunk. I'm pretty sure I was drunker than you were so the memories I write down may be blurry.

Everyone else had left except us. The restaurant was closing and since I was drunk, it was a bit hard for me to walk. I managed to get out the front door with the help of your hand holding my arm but when I took a few steps outside of the restaurant, my feet finally turned to jelly.

Like a hero, you caught me with your large hands. You had pulled me with your hand and scooped my waist with your other hand.

Trust me, even though I was drunk, I was able to feel emotions and I was a tiny bit sober enough to think properly.

Standing in front of the restaurant in our cliche but romantic position, it just felt like the right moment for the drunk me. We were holding eye contact and though I couldn't tell what you were thinking, it seemed like you felt it was the perfect time too.

That's why I wrapped my arms around your shoulders and pulled your face closer to mine until our lips were gently mashed. My heart was pounding but I couldn't distinguish whether it was from nervousness or enjoyment.

I just remember your warm breath and the strange sweet taste of wine lingering on your tongue as you kissed me. I'm sure the kiss was a bit sloppy but to me, it was passionate and sweet, even though I was a bit out of it. You had your hands tracing up and down my waist and hips while my hands were digging the back of your hair, my chest pressed against yours.

After that, I think you took me home.

After your birthday, you told me that you'd want to stay friends, though it seemed like you were a bit unsure of what you were saying. I was fine with that decision though because, after the kiss, I sort of felt that it wasn't right for us to date. It seemed like to us, friends were the best we could be. You and I could lean on each other.

Kissing that night on your birthday was probably just a one-time thing for you and me.

I'm glad that we can stay friends though. Even after that kiss, you're acting normal around me, like we're still friends, which I'm thankful for.

Up until now, I'm pretty sure I loved you. Love is a confusing topic to me. I still love you.

I've loved you romantically.

And now, I'll love you as a friend.

I'm thankful enough for that.

Sincerely,

Y/N.

-----------------

© serenityseventeen

7/13/21 - 8:40 pm

a/n: Vernon Chwe... Gosh why does he look so good in that photo!? + I have a plan/general plot for a book but I am having trouble deciding the male lead... I plan for it to be a fanfiction but I'm stuck on the male main character.

[wreckofawriter]

The Not-So-Perfect Sister

Pairing: Sirius Black x potter!reader

Word Count: 4,442

Warnings: Under aged drinking, mentions of neglect, overall angsty

Summary: James Potters sister who had felt put of place her whole life finally breaks when Lily Evans arrives at her house.

A/n: I really like this one. Kinda angst but sweet. My inbox is open feel free to send in requests! Hope you guys like it too!

Being a Potter seemed like an easy gig to most people. The big house, nice family, a large amount of money, it definitely seemed like a piece of cake. And if your name is James then yes, yes it was. But if your name was y/n- or as most people called you James' sister -than no, no it wasn't. 

When you were eleven you had walked up to the chair and sat down with your eyes locked on your smiling brother. He was seated between his three best friends and practically glowing with excitement from the gold and red table.

The old hat was placed on your head and you could already the word that would flow from its leathery mouth. But to your surprise along with everyone else's in the large dining hall, not even a second after the hat landed on your y/h/c head it bellowed, "Slytherin!" 

The hall fell silent and your eyes, still on your brother went wide. James' on the other hand narrowed, his lips piercing to a thin line. 

You felt your heart break as your best friend turned away from you in disgust. And at eleven years old you had already been smashed to pieces by the person you loved most. 

Your parents had sent you a letter telling you it was alright to be in a different house but they didn't act like it was. When James joined the quidditch team they had cheered for him and came to as many games as they could. 

When you joined the Slytherin team as a keeper they had dismissed it with a wave of a hand and only came to your games when you happen to be playing Gryffindor. They were always adorned in yellow and red. 

They almost never sent you letters when James received one once a week. They would support James no matter what, but if you slipped up even once they would come down on you in a hail storm of fury.

By third year you stopped coming home over breaks, you would spend Christmas at Hogwarts alone. But summers were unavoidable. You would simply go home and hide in your room, only coming down stairs for meals which you eat in silence as you listened to your parents gush about James' achievements. 

When Sirius joined you in your fourth year, their fifth, your life went from bad to worse.

Sirius was an asshole. He always was and always will be. He was arrogant and stubborn, he was sure he was the best thing in the world and that he had everyone trapped under his finger. And watching him receive more love from your parents than you did made living under the same roof as the boy nearly impossible. 

What made it worse was the fact that he was irritatingly handsome. He was dashing and charming, somehow managing to make you hate him just to avoid feeling something else.  It made you sick that you even had thoughts of him in a positive way whatsoever. But even though you would never admit it, you did.

And now you had to welcome another one of your least favorite people into your life.

You hated Lily Evans. From the minute layed eyes on the girl you could feel a sickening loathing build up in you like a fire. With each overly sweet smile she threw and disgustingly soft laugh she uttered the larger that fire burned. 

It wasn't like she had ever done anything wrong to you. She was always nice when you passed in the hallways, she never picked on you or called you 'James' little sister' a term you had grown to hate. She was always kind to you, even when your brother was being a brat like usual. And that was one of the many reasons you hated her. 

She was perfect. It made you want to hurl. Her fiery red hair and emerald eyes. Her perfect grades and great scores. She was kind, brave, smart and cunning. She had it all. Plus your brother, who wouldn't even spare you a glance, trailed after her like a lost puppy. She was the physical embodiment of everything you hated. 

Of course now she was dating James which meant you had to put up with her bullshit even more than usual. 

You were downstairs making yourself a sandwich, when the doorbell rang. You rolled your eyes and walked to go open it. 

You swung the door open ready to shoo away some girl scouts when you came face with your worst nightmare.

"Hey y/n!" She smiled waving a bit. 

Your mouth dropped and eyes went wide before narrowing to slits and your mouth slamming shut into a scowl. 

You merely growled the word "Nope." Before slamming the door shut straight into her face. 

"Y/n! What the hell?" You turned your mood souring from bad to worse. 

"You deal with you preppy girlfriend James, I dont have the energy for her." You hissed. 

He simply rushed past you his shoulder hitting yours harshly as he passed and opened the door.

"Lily, I am so sorry for my sister is being an asshole again.." 

The rest of the conversation died out as you snatched your sandwich and darted upstairs. You quickly slammed into James room to meet Sirius, who was adorned in only a towel his black hair dripping wet. You ignored the sight and focused on the problem at hand.

"What the hell y/n?!" Sirius snapped, his face flushing. 

"Yeah what the hell!" You responded to worked up to care about his lack of clothing. 

Sirius shot you a confused look, his cheeks now a blazing red.

"Why is Evans here?!" You screeched. 

"Maybe because she's meeting her boyfriend's parents?" Sirius bellowed back, "Now get out!" 

You ran from the room slamming the door behind you and retreating from your safe haven. You stopped in your tracks when you saw your mother frantically attempting to clean your room. 

"Y/n!" She scolded, "Your room is a complete disaster!" 

"What are you doing in here?" You asked voice angry. 

"Lily is going to be sleeping in here so clean this place up!" She yelled motioning to your disaster of a room. 

Your fury strengthened, "I wont clean shit for that bitch." You growled. 

"Y/n!" Your mother gasped in disgust.

You left before she had a chance to say anything more. Your head pounded as you thundered down the steps not bothering to move in the slightest as your brother and his girlfriend ascended upward. You shouldered them roughly out of the way James protests fading in the back of your mind.

You ran for the door, grabbing your purse and shoes from the mudroom before sprinting onto the street. 

It had rained that night so everything was damp, causing your mitch-matched socks thin fabric to grow cold and wet. The scent of wet asphalt and dewy grass filled you helping to calm your nerves as you ran from your inevitable future. 

You knew that eventually you were going to have to go back to that house and deal with your mother and father and brother and his girlfriend and probably his best friend too. But you ignored that fact sitting on a bench to pull on your converse. You didn't bother to tie them. 

You then stood up and began to walk with no destination in mind. You walked for about an hour before you realized how hungry you are. You never got to eat that sandwich and breakfast was a distant memory. 

You quickly found a small coffee shop and walked inside enjoying the strong scent of the beverage it emitted. You ordered before plopping down at your table and staring helplessly out the window. You watched people move back and forth outside of the window feeling slightly like a tiger locked in a zoo behind the thick glass. You stared at the thick purple clouds that bruised the grey sky, ignoring who's eyes they reminded. You were so entranced with the scene in front of you, you didn't even notice that your food was placed in front of you until you turned to see it there, the sandwich slightly cold. 

You sighed, too hungry to discard the food put in front of you. You ate slowly, as if you were unsure if the meal was safe. You then turned your head back to the street to see a dark haired boy smirking back at you. You instantly stood, sprinting for the door. 

The idea of being brought back to that house made you want to hurl the sandwich you had just eaten. So you began to run not bothering to look back, your feet thundered on the wet cement of the sidewalk before you turned down an alley only to yelp when you were greeted by a bored looking Sirius Black. 

"Did you seriously think that you could outrun me." He questioned eyebrows raised.

"I could if you didn't use magic." You scoffed, attempting to shoulder past him and continue to the next street over. You were stopped when he grabbed you shoulder harshly. 

"Why the hell did you run?" He asked almost seeming worried. You quickly brushed off the thought. Sirius Black doesn't worry, much less about Slytherins. 

You hummed pretending to think, "Maybe because I don't want to deal with greasy haired asshole who is going to take me back to my living hell?" 

"Hey!" Sirius protested, clearly offended, "My hair is not greasy!" 

"You can not be serious." You sneered rolling your eyes. 

"I'm always sirius." He smiled back satisfied with his overused and unoriginal pun.

You resisted the urge to smack him. "Why did you come anyways?" 

"Your brother sent me." He shrugged, "plus we both know you don't want to walk all the way back to your house."

"Who said I was going back?" You challenged, eyes narrowing.

Sirius sighed, "You are going back weather you get on my bike yourself or I force you onto it." You glowered at him. 

"If I could you use magic I would wipe your ass all over the street." You threatened. 

"I know." He smiled, "that's why I'm happy you can't." 

"I'm not going." You decided planting your feet and crossing your arms, head held high.

Sirius let out a strenuous sigh clearly annoyed, "Come on." He whined, "Your brother said I had to bring you back." 

You pursered your lips, looking away from the boy. 

He groaned, "Are you fucking with me?" 

"Nope." You responded lips popping on the p. 

"You're really going to make me hex you?" He grumbled. 

You nodded making the boy let out another moan in protest before raising his wand and muttering "Rictusempra."

You immediately burst into giggles "You asshole." You spit out between laughs as a tickling sensation made you lose all other abilities. 

Sirius grabbed you throwing you over his shoulder like you were a doll. 

"I'm gonna kill you." You giggled unable to stop the laughter spurring from your mouth. 

"I'm so threatened." Sirius smirked back before plopping you down on his motorcycle and buckling his helmet on your y/h/c head. 

"Hold onto my waist, I don't want you to die." 

"Really?" You chucked, voice uncharacteristically high. 

"I'm on my way to changing my mind." He sighed sitting down trying to to flush as your arms hugged close to his waist your body shaking with giggles. 

He reversed the spell at the first stoplight you reached and then continued his way back to your house, your chest pressed to his back. When you pulled back up to your house it was growing dark out and you were beginning to question your entire existence. 

You groaned into Sirius leather jacket and banged your head onto his back. 

"Can we not going inside?" You asked hopefully, glancing at the house its windows glowing warmly, the door reminding you of an entrance to hell. 

"You got yourself into this one y/n/n, get yourself out." He shrugged before hopping off the motorcycle and snatching the helmet off your head. 

"Don't call me y/n/n and I didn't get myself into anything you guys are just all assholes." You spoke harshly.

"How was I possibly an asshole?" Sirius exclaimed. 

"Umm how about you hexed me and then forced me back to my house?" 

"I was helping you!" He yelled exasperated. 

"You were not!" You shot back, "You practically kidnapped me!" 

"You're impossible." Sirius scoffed at you before turning on his heel and heading inside. 

You scowled angry all over again before turning to face the house you knew you would have to walk into sooner or later. 

You paced back and forth for a second before biting your lip and walking slowly up your porch steps. You then slowly opened the door and slipped inside. You were greeted by the sound of laughter and the clatter of silverware. 

You poked your head cautiously around the corner to see your family seated for dinner. 

Sirius was serving himself some pasta while your mother talked to Lily and James messed with your dad. 

You felt your heart clench at how right it looked. The perfect son, the head boy and the quidditch star. The friend who needed help and received it, needing a family and getting one. And of course the perfect daughter. With red hair to match her robes and perfect grades. The head girl who would no doubt have an amazing life after school. 

You tried to imagine yourself at the table sitting in the empty seat, your head bent, staring at the food refusing to meet your parents eyes, your green shirt looking odd against the wave of red. The fact was that you didn't belong and never would. So you went upstairs snatched a blanket and a pillow and retreated to your basement. 

You plopped onto the couch and released a breath you didn't realize you were holding. You felt your eyes prick with tears as the image of the perfect family upstairs burned in your eyelids and you wanted to scream. 

You slammed your hands on to your closed eyelids, enjoying the pressure they provided, keeping tears behind them. Because the truth was as much as you hated your family you wanted nothing more than to be apart of it. You had spent your whole life attempting to get noticed, to simply be acknowledged as half the person they saw James as. But year after year you were left more and more broken. And now your parents fell in love with a girl they had known for only one night. It made you sick. Your hatred for Lily growing into a nightmarish beast. 

Your eyes popped open when you heard someone descending the stairs. You turned to see your brother leaning against the railing arms crossed eyebrows furrowed. 

"What do you want James?" You scoffed sitting up on your elbows. 

"What do I want?" James hissed, "I want to know why my sister is such a selfish prat." 

You sat all the way up glaring at your brother, "I'm the selfish one?" You glowered in disbelief. 

"Yeah, yeah you are." James spat. 

You stood walking to meet your brother, "How in bloody hell was I being selfish?!" You growled. 

"How about slamming the door in Lily's face, or I don't know swearing at mom or maybe calling my girlfriend a bitch before running off to fairyland?!"James was yelling now his voice echoing off the small room."Your damned lucky Sirius offered to find you because I'm done with it!"

You shook your head, "Sirius said you sent him to get me. He was lying?" You asked softly, You silently wished him to say that he wanted you back, that he had sent him, that he had wanted you here.

"Of course I didn't!" James shouted "Not everything is about you!"

You felt your heart crumpled. He hadn't wanted you back. Hell, he would have been happier if you had stayed gone. You willed yourself not to cry, so instead you laughed, a crazy demonic sound ripping from your throat and escaping your lips, "Your right James!" You screeched, "Not everything is about me!" Your fire full smile broke into a sneer, "It's all about you." 

James looked taken aback for a second guilt flashing momentarily into his dark eyes before being replaced with anger. 

"It's all about you. You and your perfect grades and your perfect friends." You could feel tears pricking at your eyes. "You and your quidditch bullshit, and your god damn bright fucking future!" You spat the words like venom from your mouth, "You and your bitchy girlfriend who's going to make the perfect little daughter in law!" You were now yelling your voice feeling raw as tears dripped off your chin. 

"Stop calling her a bitch!" James screamed back. 

Just then the door opened and Lily, Sirius and your parents came hurling down the stairs. 

"What in bloody hell is going on!" Sirus shouted but you ignored him. 

"I'm so sorry for calling shit as it is, your girlfriend is a bitch. B-I-T-C-H. BITCH!"  You wailed taking a step forward, you were now looking directly into your brothers eyes, just barley below him, less than a foot away. 

You saw his eyes burn, anger filling them, turning their dark brown pigment to black. 

And then he did something you would never imagine him to do in his life. 

James raised his hand and with one swift movement slapped you clean across the cheek

You heard a series or gasps and yells fall around you, your ears ringing slightly. You could feel where his hand had struck your skin, it was hot and thumping, a dull sting finding its home there. 

You slowly turned your head back to meet your brothers eyes which were now wide with surprise and guilt. 

You slowly removed the hand that had instinctively risen to your cheek and stared hurt and broken in front of your brother who's mouth had dropped open. 

"Y/n, oh my God I didn't-" 

"Rot in hell Potter." You spat your voice deep and dark. And with that you sprinted up the stairs. 

As you began to move the world resumed and everyone else began to take action as well.

You saw James stumble backwards Lily beginning to go to him but Sirius beating her to it and reaching the boy himself. You then heard him yell something you were too delirious to understand before a thud was heard followed closely by another shriek. You shouldered past your parents as you accented the stairs, the fact that they didn't even spare you a glance stung more than a slap ever could. 

For the second time that day you sprinted out onto the street, the crisp air hitting your hot face in a refreshing blow. You stumbled into the night ignoring your bare feet and chilled arms. You had no destination in mind as you sprinted down the sidewalk, you only had a location to get as far as possible from. You wished you had been thinking enough to grab your purse, you could have gone to a bus stop and left to Merlin knows where. 

You made it four blocks before one of your feet caught behind your heel and you were flung to the ground by the ever cruel gravity. 

Your hands hit the damp cement first followed directly by your chin causing you to bite roughly down on your lip. 

You didn't even bother to move debating weather living was even worth it. You could taste the blood in your mouth and feel it seeping from your hands as you lay unmoving under the buzzing streetlamp. 

You were pretty sure you would have lay on that sidewalk, your body shaking with sobs, blood slowly filling your mouth until you died if a strong pair of arms hadn't swept you up. 

You instinctively buried your head into the familiar musky scent as Sirius pulled you close to him. 

"Hey, hey you're okay." He mumbled quietly into your hair, smoothing it clumsily down as he pulled your head into his chest. "You're okay, I've got you." 

You sobbed uncontrollably into Sirius as he mumbled sweet nothings into your ear and held you close to him. 

"I-im sorry." You choked out eventually,  pulling away from the boy slightly. 

"What on earth are you sorry for love?" Sirius chuckled softly pushing the damp hair from your face. 

"I think I got your jacket wet." You muttered a soft smile darting onto your lips. 

Sirius let out a soft laugh, "You are ridiculous." His smile disappeared when he saw your lip.

"I'm okay." You muttered wiping the blood from you lips with a wince. 

"No your not." Sirius sighed quietly. 

He watched your face deflate and he realized that was probably the first time that someone hadn't let you lie to them. Hadn't let you hide behind the thick walls you had built. He called your bluff and it was unfamiliar and strange to you. 

"Why did you lie?" You asked quietly.

"About what?" The boy questioned, confused.

"James didn't send you. He told me."

Sirius flushed before shaking his head he definitely needed to change the subject, "James is an idiot." 

"He's your friend." You shrugged. 

"Yeah well I don't know if that's true anymore." 

You knotted your eyebrows, "Why's that?" 

Sirius sighed "I knocked him out." 

Your mouth dropped.

"If it was anyone else that hit you I would have killed them on the spot." He murmured.

You smiled slightly torn at the idea of your brother getting knocked out by his best friend. 

Sirius decided that you needed something desperately, the same thing he had needed when he left home. 

"Let's get you a drink." 

Your eyes rose to meet his a bit uncertain, before you nodded, "Please."

Sirius smiled as he pulled you to his motorcycle, lazily tucking the helmet onto your head and buckling it for you, his face dancing red at the proximity of your soft pink lips.

You walked into the bar Sirius at your arm. The two of you sat on the stools and Sirius used a bit of magic to order your drinks. 

He handed you a shot of vodka setting one in front of himself. 

You glanced down at the small glass then back up at Sirius before shrugging and raising swiftly to your lips. 

Sirius did the same laughing brightly when he saw your face scrunched in discomfort. 

"That was disgusting!" You coughed, laughing a bit, "Get me another one!" 

Sirius burst into laughter once again ordering you both another round, "This is the last one though, I don't want to have to take you home drunk." He said eyebrows raised. 

You smiled back, downing the second shot a bit more easily than the last, enjoying the warmth that twirled down your throat to your stomach. 

Sirius and you left, you a bit tipsy, him seemingly sober. 

"Let's get you home." He muttered smiling about at your beaten and battered form. 

Suddenly you broke free of him and stumbled backwards, catching yourself on the side of the building. 

"I don't want to go home." You pouted. 

"Sorry Y/n we have got to go back." Sirius sighed. 

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" You yelled harshly, anger flowing through you. 

"Y/n/n come on it's not that bad, let's head back." Sirius sighed sympathetically. 

"I know your parents were shit Sirius, but at least they were terrible people!" You yelled. 

Sirius rose both eyebrows, "What?"

"Your parents were terrible people right?" You slurred a bit.

Sirius nodded.

"And they hated you because you weren't like them, you weren't s-somebody who would kill a-and hurt, so they hated you for being different. For being a good person." You rambled tears slowly falling from your cheeks.

"Y/n/n we seriously need to get you home." Sirius grumbled worriedly. 

"You're not listening to me!" You screeched taking a step back. 

Sirius stood unsure of what to do.

"My parents hate me for the same reason, because I'm different and I'm not like them." Your voice breaking mid sentence stabbing Sirius in the chest. 

"And because they are 'good people' and they are nice and kind and heros being different than them means I'm a terrible person." Tears now rolled coolly down your check leaving silver streaks in their wake. 

Sirius' face crumbled, "No, no, no. Y/n your not a terrible person, your a great person." He gushed rushing forward to capture you in his embrace. 

"Then why do they hate me?" You asked voice small and weak. 

"They don't hate you y/n. They love you." He mumbled softly one hand wrapping around your waist while the other gripped your head softly pulling you into him. 

You shook your head slowly afraid if you spoke anymore that your eyes would flood with tears once again. 

"Hey." Sirius murmured, causing your big y/e/c eyes to look up at him. "They love you, James loves you" 

You looked away from his stormy grey eyes tired of hearing lies. 

"Hey." He repeated bring your attention back to the storms resting behind his head. "I love you." 

His whisper resonated through the chilled air, like the final note of an orchestra, the strings still not unmoving. You stared at him in wonder. Then your stood on your toes and grabbed the back of his neck slowly pulling him toward you. 

Your lips connected in a sweet, salty kiss. The taste of blood and alcohol lingering between you. You felt his slightly chapped lips moved smoothly against yours making your heart flutter as your hand played with his dark locks, his own finding your waist and pulling you towards him. 

You pulled away softly gasping lightly for air as your noses brushed lightly. Sirius' own heavy breaths tickling your face as your foreheads leaned together. 

"I-I t-think I love you too Sirius." You fumbled lightly with your words. 

He simply responded by reconnecting your lips in a desperate kiss, savoring the metallic taste of blood mixed with the sharpness of alcohol. You tasted like a sin, his tongue dancing across your lips before they opened allowing it to slip inside. 

When you finally pulled away for the second time. You looked into his glassy storm filled eyes brushing his cheek gently with your thumb. 

"I need you." You whispered quietly into the night. And for the first time in a long time you felt loved.

Part 2

Masterlist

[bnha-hcs]

*breathes* I've been haunted by the "wait for me" trope; may I ask for a scenario where Todoroki's crush accidentally slips that she loves him, but he doesn't catch it and she leaves it hoping he doesn't think too much about it. But he does. And he realizes. So he brings her to talk and feelings are exchanged; he admits he loves her back but he's got a lot going on but he doesn't want to lose her, so if she's willing, would she wait for him? I'm really sorry if that's a lot to ask!

Decided to do some requests bc I’m still waiting on my doctors to figure shit out and its,,, taking forever so I’m running out of things to do that don’t have me doing too much alsjdalkd. I know it’s late on a lot of these but better late than never yeah? 

Also I finally caught up with the manga oh my gods it’s been 5000 years

- Tiki

You stand there in complete silence- thoroughly mortified about what you had just let slip in such casual conversation. There’s no telling what could happen at this point and you weren’t sure if you should try to apologize or just own up to the fact that you had just accidentally confessed your feelings to Todoroki. For a second you weren’t even sure if he even heard you, until you looked over and saw his blue and brown eyes searching your face for any semblance- any indication that you had been lying, or joking, or something.

Todoroki didn’t look like he was going to say anything anytime soon, leaving you to hurry up and pick a course of action. He looks… uncomfortable, and actually a little flustered. Specifically, he even looks like he’s lost a bit of his cool/aloof nature and you’re very afraid you’ve actually ruined any sort of friendship the two of you even had. Is he mad?? Is he upset with you?? You scramble to think of what to say, and before you can stop yourself, words are pouring out of your mouth in a mad dash to keep whatever dignity and friendship you had left.

“Um!! I mean don’t think anything of what I just said… In fact, just forget I said anything alright??” You manage out, stumbling over a few words here and there.

NO response.

Crap, you’ve definitely fucked up. Surely this is where everything goes out the window and now it’s time to make a hasty retreat. So you scramble to get your things and get going, making your move to leave. As soon as you bid your quick goodbye in the form of a quiet squeak you feel the hold of his hand on your wrist, and look to see a look of utter confusion on his face matched with pleading eyes. You’ve never seen such a look on Todoroki’s face before and you’re unsure of what to even make of it. Out of habit you freeze and wait for whatever he looks like he’s about to say.

“I’m sorry, what did you mean? I’m a little confused…” He says, his face scrunching up a little bit as he looks lost in thought. You physically deflate at his words.

Oh GOOD he doesn’t actually know what you said thank g o d s. You let out a large sigh and force a sheepish smile onto your face, freeing your wrist from his grasp and waving your hand a bit.

“It’s okay Shouto! Don’t worry about it.” You say quickly, taking a step away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

This time you don’t give him any room you stop you, and successfully make your retreat this time. You almost run back to the dorms, eager to find solace in the safety of your room and to wallow in your embarrassment by yourself, and rightfully so. You were still mortified with yourself, and are sure you wouldn’t be able to look Todoroki in the eyes the next few days. Gods... maybe if you were lucky he’d just forget about the whole thing altogether. But you’d never be that lucky. Todoroki was aloof but you were dead sure he wasn’t that aloof.

As soon as you were back to your dorm room you threw yourself on the bed and contemplated on whether you needed to fake your own death or not. Your over dramatic ass tried to list off friends who could possibly help you disappear, but figured you’d have a better chance just accepting what happened than trying to suddenly drop from the grid and become a hermit. Groaning into your pillow you roll over and set your alarms for tomorrow, deciding to sleep off your days events.

------

The alarms went off and you had to, unfortunately, get up and get ready to face the day. As soon as you brought your phone to your face and shut off the alarms to stop the assault on your poor eardrums, you found a text from Todoroki waiting for you, having been sent only a few minutes before you got up. As soon as you saw it waiting in your messages you could feel your soul leaving your body and the emergency systems in your brain start to malfunction. At some point you were sure someone could hear you screaming in your mind as you tapped on the message to read its contents.

‘Sorry it’s early, but could we talk before class?’

Quickly, you texted out a reply, making about 500 typos and then having to spend more time fixing them than actually typing it up. It didn’t help that you were hardly coherent from waking up about 2 minutes prior. Finally you had hit send and waited for a reply, biting your lip a little too hard.

‘Sure!! Same place as yesterday?’

…

‘That’s fine’

You practically shoot yourself out of bed to get dressed and make yourself look like you didn’t just sleep for about 15 hours because holy hell you were sure you looked like a disaster right now. I mean… you ARE a disaster, but you couldn’t let anyone actually k n o w, let alone Todoroki of all people good gods. So you shove on your uniform and haphazardly brush through your hair so you could quickly jump over to the bathroom and brush your teeth, put on deodorant, etc.

As you’re finishing up your flurry of things you realize you hadn’t asked when the hell you were supposed to be there, having just assumed that he meant as soon as possible. Well… if you went now you wouldn’t have to run the risk of running into anyone. So instead of confirming a time to be there, you decided to stick to your plan of getting there as soon as possible, not exactly caring if it was a little too early. Maybe you could find a vending machine somewhere and get a drink in case you had to wait…

You sighed and threw your bag over your shoulder, checking your phone as you exit your room and make your way down, and out of the dorms. Just as you had thought, not many people were up and you were lucky enough to slip past them and out the door without having to say a thing. Maybe they were also half asleep and just hadn’t the energy to talk yet. Either way you were grateful. With a quick pace you headed back to where you were yesterday- a small courtyard around the school grounds that you’d often study at if the weather permitted. After a while of being friends with Todoroki, the two of you had made it a habit to meet there and study together or just hang out between other things in your busy lives.

Rounding the corner you choked on your spit seeing Todoroki was already there, and you had to make peace with dying from choking as you avoided hacking up a lung and looking like a huge idiot. Just great… Your face was already red and your voice was going to sound stressed. And he must’ve heard your muffled choking noises because he turned around, his soft face catching the morning sun as he squinted to see you. So you hurried your way over for his sake, seeing as it would do neither of you any good if you just loafed around like a piece of wet lettuce.

“Um, hey!” You squeaked out, stopped just a bit in front of him. “So what did you want to talk about?”

There’s a pause, and you watch him shift his hands, like he isn’t sure what or where to put them. He settles for awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, a blush dusting his cheeks as he struggles to look at you. You watch with much anxiety and anticipation, not used to… well… any of this.

“I realized what exactly you meant yesterday…” He starts, choosing his words carefully. “And I’m sorry I didn’t understand at first but…”

But??? But what?? Oh gods you knew it, you knew he was going to reject you- you knew you never stood a chance of ever being with someone like him. You knew… you’d start to cry sooner or later but as soon as you had the flood of thoughts scrambling for purchase through your head you could feel the tears pricking your eyes and the heaviness of rejection settling in your head.

“I’m not really good at… these kind of things.” He says simply, and part of you is relieved but you aren’t exactly sure that can stop steeling yourself for whatever he has to say. He looks up at you, eyes locking with yours, his gaze as heavy as your head felt and you find your breath catching in your throat. He sighs, looking away again before he begins to inch closer.

Todoroki reaches out and you resist the urge to shy away, knowing that if you did, you’d never be able to witness such tenderness from him again. So you move a bit closer on your own and meet him halfway. His right hand moves to cup the side of you face, thumb swiping over your cheek with a feeling that has you at a loss of words. You’re not even sure if you should speak right now, and wait for him to make his next move. Todoroki has a look of pure adoration of you in his eyes and you feel his hand waver a bit and a slight look of sadness flickers in his eyes for a quick second.

“I realized what you said and then I realized I…” He pauses his other hand going to cup the other side of your face, “I love you, too.”

The feeling is suffocating- his hands, his words, his face as it’s so close and so far from yours, and then the feeling in the pit of your stomach that has you thinking that it’s too good to be true. The warm blush that’s spread across your face has you feeling dizzy, like you can’t quite focus on anything but his touch, and the sound of his voice. You sigh prematurely and you watch him look away for a second.

“Shouto…” You breathe out.

“I love you so much, (Y/N), but I- we can’t be together right now.”

“Wh.. What?” You ask incredulously. “What do you mean?”

You can feel the tears pricking in your eyes again, and the sinking of your stomach as a pang grabs at the deepest depths of your chest. You could hardly keep your voice from wavering as you spoke. He can tell you’re upset, and surely this was just as hard for him to explain as it was for you to listen and accept it.

“Just, as I am now, I wouldn’t be able to be there for you. And we’re both still changing and growing so it wouldn’t be good for either of us.” He sighs, looking around like he’s anxious until he resumes, keeping his tender gaze with you and his hands still gently holding your face. “But I don’t want to lose you.”

It’s hard to keep the feelings buried in you so you let a sniffle out, and few tears roll down your face, which are quickly wiped away by the boy in front of you. You want so hard to hide your face- to bury it in your hands and hide the tears you’ve been trying so hard to keep back, but all you can do is reach up and grasp one the the hands Todoroki has cupping your face. You lean into his touch, nodding to his words as they slowly process in your mind.

“(Y/n),” He beckons your name so you’ll look up at him, giving you a small smile. “I know I’m asking a lot but, will you wait for me?”

It takes you a second to actually process any single word that he just said and you half blame the inebriated state that you’ve been in this whole time and the whirlwind of emotions that you’ve been through had you second guessing your comprehensive skills. And before he knew it, you had broken his hold on you and leapt into his arms, burying your face in whatever place you could put it. His arms circle around you and for a few moments the two of your stand there, completely content in each other’s presence. His face buries itself in your hair and he places a small kiss on the top of your head.

“Of course I’ll wait for you!” You gasp, pulling your head from his chest and making him lift his head. “I’ll wait as long as it takes.”

For a second he looks surprised as he looks down at you, like he didn’t expect you to say yes. And then a smile makes its way into his face, slowly, and he can’t help showing his delight. Without much warning he leans down and quickly presses his lips against yours. It’s quick, and in a way it’s very bitter sweet as you quickly go to reciprocate the affection, knowing full well it’ll be the last you’ll ever get in a while. You try to embed into your mind the feeling of his lips on yours, and you know very well that he is probably doing just the same. The tickling shiver that flutters up your spine is foreign, but definitely not unwelcome and part of you wonders when you’ll be able to indulge in something like this everyday. And just as you thought, the moment the two of you part, you feel a loss at the lack of contact.

You feel Todoroki’s breath fan across your face and resist the urge to lean back in for another kiss. And so the two of you part further, going back to standing together, and somehow acting like that didn’t just happen. You share a look with him and with a nod the two of you head off to class, Todoroki looking like he’s puffed up a little, probably due to the fact that he didn’t think you’d say yes. You found it endearing, to say the least.

There’s nothing much to say as you walk, a comfortable silence, and you find yourself still a little confused in your feelings. Sure you’re still muddled in sadness at the fact that were both rejected and not rejected at the same time. You weren’t quite sure where to place anything in your heart just yet. The only thing you knew is that you’d have to wait for him, for however long it takes. And you were just fine with that.

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

This Never Happened Before (1/?)

This fic is based off @kittenears41 fic It's You.

Please read her fic first, it's such a delight as well as check out her other fics because she introduces concepts not commonly used. It's incredible that she allowed me to do this.

This will be multi chap, though I hadn't planned on how long it should be yet. For now here's chap one. I hope I did your fic justice @kittenears41 and will enjoy what I did with it. 😘 This fic is unrelated to my Fluffy Adventures Series but I'll add the link to my Fanfic Masterpost. Title based off the Paul McCartney song of the same name.

_________________

Chapter 1: Waiting For Arrival

This had never happened to you before.

Visions of color, a sea of people, and you moving and drifting against the tide. You had an idea of where you were supposed to be, and who you were going to meet, but it fed the conflagration of your building expectations which had no outlet to be relieved. It was a first; the beginning of everything. Unfamiliar faces were like dashing daydreams ready to be caught as you turned to find a quieter corner; leaving them to find their reality. You never had to sit on questionably clean benches, wait amongst the souls who were indifferent to your current dilemma, and wait with bated breath as a new chapter of your life was ready to be known.

Has this never happened before?

It wasn't all that unpleasant, but rather a thrill you weren't all that familiar. In your mind's eye, you could already see yourself with him; the man of your dreams, ready to delight in his sweetness, and bathing in your combined joy, but you were uncertain if that was how it would go. He should be here any minute now you thought as you glanced at your phone every now and again; you couldn't wait for him to be here. You wanted him to be here.

It was 11 AM this Sunday morning, and you hadn't been waiting long, but if you thought about it, then you sort of had. One day of curiosity, a chance, an online connection had led to this; six months of video chats, phone calls, and text messages which etched and weaved along the landscape of your imagination; allowing a sense of beautiful longevity to form and grow and bloom with affection. Oh, you really couldn't wait. You thought of going to one of the nearby bars, to drink liquid confidence but you knew how he felt about liquor, so you decided to browse one of the gift shops instead.

______________

There was a plethora of tacky souvenirs, but you didn't think that would suit him, and eventually found yourself amongst the book section, staring straight at a historical romance novel. Should you get him a book? No, that wouldn't be enough; with all you knew you still felt unsure. What did you buy for the man who had cured cancer? For a scientist who had won many awards?

You had thought of scientific magazines or electronics he might enjoy, but then you thought of the other side of him; the side you fell in love with. He was a tender soul, albeit a mature one, who enjoyed fine literature as well as a variety of creative activities, who had somehow retained a sliver of innocence which gave him allowances to enjoy what might've been thought of as childish. So, when you saw a teddy bear in his favorite shade of blue, you knew he had to have it; to join the other stuffed animals for the tea parties he carried out in mid-afternoon. Hopefully, he’ll like it. Buying the bear and a candy bar, you decided to sit where you could see the arrivals.

You glanced at the flat screen which displayed the arrival times, though found it'd still be a while. Hmm, waiting for your special someone to arrive, it was one of the hardest things you ever had to do, but you knew it had to happen eventually, especially if there was ever to be more than a screen in between. You two had wanted to meet before, but the timing never worked, plus you had been afraid; anxious over what if’s. Having never met in real life, it took a great deal of faith and trust; both of which you now felt implicitly. Though, you wondered if he was as nervous as you were, perhaps he was.

However, it soon wore off as you looked on your phone, seeing his cute face in the saved pictures he had sent you; it was like you were never alone. This never failed to get you flustered; him being the sweetest man you'd ever had the fortune of spending time with, if only just to talk; if only just to know. And now you were to see him, to hold him, to feel him. 6 months of waiting had led up to this; a wish, a hope for future bliss.

You couldn't contain the flurry, the bubbling excitement and stood back up to pace, though not without a blush on your face. You were about to meet your adorable, lovely sweetheart of a boyfriend, and you yearned for his embrace. You wondered what he smelled like; if he was soft or very strong. No doubt he would be better in person, but would you be what he wanted? A woman nearby wondered where you were going, since you had no luggage, and you happily replied: “To see my cute boyfriend of course.”

It was reassuring to say that to someone; you had wanted to for the longest time. She studied you and teased. “You really like him, don't you? I can see it written all over your face.”

“Like him? I love him. He's my favorite person in all the world. Why,” you felt your cheeks burn, “he makes my heart feel as though it's going to explode. I know it sounds silly, but I can't wait to see him. I really wish he was here.”

Picking off a random piece a lint from her skirt, she seemed to stare past you, but the playfulness in her voice remained. “I wonder how he'd feel if he heard that.”

“Happy most likely. He's really good at being optimistic, as well as a lot of other things.”

You hadn't heard the approaching footsteps or realized who had arrived, but whoever stood behind you started to chuckle, you turned back around. "Hohoho, I-I'm flattered y-you feel that way. It's rather surprising, but y-you're right. I'm glad to have heard it."

You knew he was talking; that his lips moved and words were coming out at the speed of his excitement, but your heart drummed against your ribs, the deafening sound of your affection almost more than you could bear. There he was, in the flesh, more wonderful than you had hoped, in his blue sweater and labcoat; his winning smile too bright for your unworthy eyes. Yet, here you were like a lovestruck teenager, the flutter of butterflies getting into a tizzy in your tummy. You opened your mouth, but no words came out, and you gestured, but it was all just a bundle of confusion. Oh no, this wasn't how it was supposed to happen.

All around, the visions became blurs, and whatever he had been saying, he paused to study you. The lines around his eyes deepened, as well as the creases of his forehead. The brightness of his electric blue eyes softened, and without hesitation, he placed his hands on your shoulders hoping you were alright. From the moment you felt that light squeeze on your shoulder, you knew this was right.

“It's you. You're… you're here.” you managed to whisper.

He nodded. “Mhm, that's right. I'm here.”

TBC