#and simetimes he feels like he doesn't belong with them

[nunkisketches]

"Can I really find my place here?"

[rosetyler42]

I feel Ericka kind of has mixed feelings about her past simetimes.

On one, Ericka's proud and grateful to have realized the error of her family's misconceptions and to have the opportunity to do better, to make her own future and break the cycle of her family's legacy. She's not nessecarily perfect, but she's trying to get better. She's determined not to judge or assume things about others, OR to let history repeat itself with another genocide. And she'd like to try and give others a chance - especially those who are reformed villains like she was herself.

If they're open to reason, that is.

On the other, Ericka still deals with the guilt and shame of having been not only a 5 time attempted murderer, but a willing accomplice to genocide for decades. Even though she did ultimately change her mind and learn from her mistakes and no one actually died, they very much COULD have by actions she blames herself for to a certain extent. Even if it's not exactly true, Sometimes she thinks If she had realized sooner, been braver, sided with Drac instead of lying and delivering the instrument of destruction...maybe things might have been different. And of course the talk that "Well she still tried to kill monsters, so she's bad" and...well, being seen as nothing more than a homicidal maniac doesn't help. Can she really make her own future when it seems like all anyone else will see her as is a murderer? How can she act like she's any better than the haters when she used to BE just like them?

And what if she tries to tell her new monster friends about the ruthless vengeful monsterhunter she used to be, and they HATE her for it? Turn against her? Lump her in with all the people who've oppressed them? She knows covering things up isn't the way to go. Drac's done that at least 4 times, and it's NEVER worked. But she also doesn't want to lose the first friends she's ever had in her life.

So I imagine she's in the interesting position of...she KNOWS the hateful genocide-justifying rhetoric people like Wilson spout for the threat it is. But EXPLAINING why she knows it and why it bothers her? Where the repressed hostility came from, how she's so good at fighting? Opening up about the ruthless killer she used to be, especially to someone like Jack who's got strong morals and has been harmed by this kind of thinking before?

It's...hard.

Thankfully, Jack gets it. He's the chaotic adventurous and free-spirited cartoon Nephalem son of an enemies to lovers ship where the mom tried to kill dad once but redeemed. His parents are thought to be enemies in his game. Much of his family have tried to kill eachother at least once. Buddy And besides, Just because you're born to darkness doesn't mean you belong to it. If Joey and Audrey Drew of all people could choose to be better and break the Cycle, why not a Van Helsing? As a toon (and half angel), he's also an optimist despite growing up in literal hell. So when Ericka's feeling down on herself, he can provide another perspective.

So I thought it'd be sweet having him give her some encouraging words in his own way.

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