#and she seems to not be aware of the existence of Ruth!Doctor at all. i hope she'll like her. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

floosies · 5 years ago

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bury a friend: The Story of Noctua

pairing: steve rogers x possessed!oc x mcu!au

summary: there have been sightings of a dark creature who vanishes with night and in the mornings only remains of once living people are found scattered in open fields or forests nearby.

warnings: mentions of abuse, mentions of attempted suicide, violence, gore, cursing, mentions/scenes of sexual nature.

Please read with discretion. 18+ content.

A/N: This is my first attempt at something more dark. It’s been in my brain since hearing some of biilie’s works and quiet frankly I want to venture into new territory. However, I understand the severity of some topics that I will write about. If you or someone you know is in need please look at these resources

Tags: @indecisivedolly

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Part 5: Cold, Cold Heart

It took some time before they let the man get out of the room. His mind was steady fast on her. Was she dead? Why did he care? She was no better than him, and murdered people for sport. Still he raced to the med bay, with hopes she was doing well. When neared the entrance he found Steve waiting there, his face full of concentration. “What’d they say?” The look he gave his friend made Bucky’s heart drop.

Ruth was a little girl that greeted all the creatures of the woods. The kindest soul anyone could ever meet. It was what Tenebrae admired about her. What her parents saw from the great beyond. A kindred spirit with good intentions. Yet, here she laid feeble and fighting to wake up. She wouldn’t give up, especially since she only just discovered her freedom to be herself.

“Cho, you’re joking right?” It made sense, but a part of Bucky seemed to be in disbelief. The doctor shook her head though, “this girl seriously malnourished, under weight, and has serious bone damage. I’m surprised she’s alive.” It was reaching nightfall, Steve was still hoping she’d wake up. Outside the door of her room was the elderly man from the previous night, “Tenebrae right?” He smiled at the boy, “Bucky. How is she?” The being could read the anger well on the boy. “How could you let that happen to her?” With a look of shock he mockingly answered the boy, “I thought she was a monster? Is that not how you viewed her?” Of course this took him aback.

Steve heard the voice of someone else, he left the room to see the two men standing in silence. “Sir? Can I help you?” The elderly man looked at Steve, but Bucky answered, “it’s the Tenebrae thing.” “I am not a thing, I am an entity.” Being ever polite Steve asked why he had returned, “she is like my daughter. I must check on her well being.” A scoff arose from the one armed soldier at the very comment, “she’s malnourished, and has multiple bone fractures. How caring.” Because of its human form, it could finally express emotion, “those bone fractures came from a terrible early childhood. Or had she not mentioned what drove her to nearly kill herself?’

The silence was not one of awkwardness nor anger, but of guilt. The entity explained her misfortunes. How she would still smile and try to make those wretched people love her. How they did everything to try and break her. Explaining why all the rotten souls were killed, and how she cried after kill out of guilt. Steve wanted to cry, ever the sentimentalist. “So when you go and call her a monster remember that she is very aware of her impending flaws soldat.” The elderly man whispered something and then disappeared.

She woke up in the middle of the night, she knew where she was even if she had never been through the whole of the compound. There were so many floors to go through, this time she’d found a room filled with records and a great gramophone. She found an old french record that made her smile. It didn’t take long after to sense she was going to have company. She had already guessed who.

He walked in with an urgency, “Doctor Cho said you’re malnourished and fractured everywhere.” He then proceeded to take seat, “well I’m still alive though.” The record play in the background, “did you know those people weren’t your real parents.” Her puzzled look was a quick indicator that this was new to her, “the spirit thing told us about your upbringing.” There was no time to react, her palm left a burning sensation his cheek. Her eyes began to brim with tears, “you are an empty shell of man. Your soul is rotten, if you still have one. You vicious, cold blooded, cumberground.” “Cumberground?” She went to strike him again, but his metal arm gripped her wrist. “You serve no purpose, you merely exist to take up space. That is what you are.” She spat at the soldier.

“You’re no one to talk to me like that-”��“someone should! I have done nothing to you. Yet you belittle me and glare when my presence is near.” His heart was racing, “why do you let me? Why don’t you kill me?” She pushed herself away from, “kill you? Kill you?! Do you hear yourself?! Are you mad? You must be absolutely insane! Why would I ever wish death upon anyone?” Was she serious? “Your history says otherwise-” “those heathens hurt children, women, other men. They suffered their endings because they were awful people. I’ve witnessed them in the midst of their horrid acts. I’ve seen the lives that were destroyed because of the scum I kill. You think I kill for sport? I live with each and every memory, the agonizing screams as they try to ask for forgiveness. It aches my heart sometimes, but they were merely trying not to pay for the injustices they made on the feeble.”

There was only the sound of her sobs for a moment. He quietly asked, “so why do it? If it pains you?” She looked at him, the blue in his eyes was like the ocean in late summer, their gaze was content on her. “I do it because I know the pain of being taken advantage of. I nearly lost my virtue out of forceful brute from someone who was supposed to care for me. The reassurance that someone else doesn’t have to feel the pain I did is why I continue.” She paused for a moment before continuing, “if I had died like I’d planned I would have never been able to save any of them. I cherish the fact that have been given a second chance. You may not, but I do. A fear lives in me, one that makes me believe this may all be taken away from me and I’ll have to live in the horrors of my past. So I carry on as best as I can. I am a kind soul at my core, but I will not live to please anymore.”

His mind was rushing with many thoughts, she could not read all of them. Perhaps she should have stayed in that bed, “when we were in the alternate past and I saw that Kennedy was alive. I realized that it meant I was dead, there was a comfort in that.” Here was the glimpse into the fragments of darkness that haunted him, “to find comfort in one’s own demise is a feeling I longed for. Your past does not define you. It should not guide who you are now, you do not have to be cold, the best thing would be to look forward.”

The record was ending, “when the old man explained your past. I thought of my own pain. I’ve been seeing you like they saw me. It’s easier to see everyone as your enemy when you’ve been made to believe that for so long.” She listened, not sure what would come from it the next day. He was really just a scared boy, filled with paranoia and insecurity. When he began to sob, she made him sleep, presenting him a sweet dream. Something comforting from his past.

Her room was in the same state she left in. Despite the softness of the linens and the cushion of the pillows, an unsettling feeling sat in the depths of her heart. How would the days work now? Would his glares and harshness continue? She decided on not erasing his memory of their conversation. Fatigue soon answered for her, and soon she was in her dream land as well.

Steve went to look for her in the morning, she wasn’t in her room or in the med bay. She was gone. He called Tony, “what do you mean she just disappeared?” The billionaire’s voice came from the cellphone, “I don’t know. I’m searching everywhere-” FRIDAY’s voice interrupted the conversation, “she’s in the basement kitchen.” A sigh of relief erupted from Steve as he went to the elevator down to the basement.

As the elevator opened, he looked over at the kitchen area of the basement. She was sat next to Bucky, they appeared to be in a deep discussion. “Sorry to interrupt, I couldn’t find you in the med bay.” She smiled at the golden haired man, “I apologize for not advising you about my whereabouts. Could some breakfast make up for it?” He smiled at her, “sure.” Bucky just sat there for a while. He listened to his friend make the young witch laugh, somewhere in his heart he was a bit upset that she was happy in Steve’s presence.

So much so that he didn’t hear her talking to him, “you alright Bucky?” Her voice was so soft, “yeah? Yes. Sorry what was the question?” She giggled, “Steve and I were wondering if you wanted to come grocery shopping with us?” There was this gleam of hope in her eyes. Her doe like eyes, the ones he’d seen before he fell asleep and dreamed about the first time his ma took him to Coney Island. He agreed to go with them though, he had to ask her more questions about how she did it. If she could bring back more of his memories, if she would help him find himself.

#sorceress #witch #oc!female #steve rogers #Bucky Barnes #Captain America The First Avenger #mcu #mcuedit #Avengers #chris evans #Sebastian Stan

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irisstory2021 · 3 years ago

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be pricked with a few shots. I assumed the parents approved any vaccinations that their child would eventually need anyway and that this would just save a doctor’s visit in the future. I assumed I was pricked like that when I was first born. It all seemed so mundane; any shifting looks at my father were shut down and I was shushed, told by his eyes to not only keep watching, but to pay attention.

I didn’t know how much harder I could pay attention, but I obeyed anyway, forgetting my carrot mush and pushing my chair out from underneath the table, fully facing the television. I hunched forward, leaned my elbows on my lap, and amused my father.

In the next clip, the baby slept soundly as the father sang to her; his voice drifted away in a matter of seconds and it looked as if he was about to turn the camera off when the baby began to shriek. She wasn’t fussing in a sleeping state; she was wide awake, shrieking as if about to lose her life and somehow aware of the consequences of that, and her complexion -- even in the dim light of the hospital nursery -- was, within a second, completely drained of its color. Her veins, however, which were shades of red and blue and purple, stood out so vividly, despite the age of the footage. They throbbed, resembling a fast-beating heart, as her father panicked inaudibly in the background.

“Hey, what the hell is going on?!” he demanded from the nurses, who were quick to whisk him away from his child. The camera was the last of his worries now, and yet he still held on, capturing every moment, even if it was all blurry and nonsensical.

“Mr. Ruth, you’re going to have to leave the nursery and let us take care of your daughter. She’ll be fine.” The nurse’s consolation sparked more outrage from the father as he was shoved out of the nursery. In the big windows up front, a gaggle of people in lab coats -- the very same ones my father and I donned -- surrounded the baby’s bassinet. Her shrieking could be heard outside of the nursery. I wondered if any other newborns were in there with her.

The father yelled, banging at the window. Unless it was completely soundproof there, I wondered if there were any other newborns in the nursery. And if there were, why hadn’t they begun crying, too, at all of the noise? As soon as someone noticed his banging, they shut the blinds, and shut the father out.

“What, so the baby had a reaction to one of the shots?” I tried rationalizing it in some way in my head. Though I was far removed from having any maternal instincts, the event was bizarre -- what happened to the child was bizarre and concerning to say the least -- and yet I looked at it through a scientific lens, not letting my emotions cloud my judgment. What vaccination could have that reaction on a newborn?

“Yes, it did. But think hard, Iris. What immunizations could cause a baby to practically die like that?”

Hepatitis B, influenza, varicella, measles, mumps… Those had been used and administered for nearly a century and had as much time to be perfected. The only one in that list of vaccinations that could have a chance of malfunctioning and having such an abnormal reaction would be--

“The serum, Iris. The one you and I work on, every day.” My father must have noticed my brain going a thousand different directions, all trying to avoid the only answer in the middle.

I wasn’t understanding. “So the baby died?” I asked.

“No, the baby lived,” he said, shaking his head and removing the disc from the television. He placed it back in an unmarked case and set it down on the dinner table with a sigh. Our food had been forgotten and cold at this point. “They gave her an antidote and within 12 hours, the parents could see her again. I’m showing you this because--” he sighed, feeling very much defeated. I felt somewhat guilty for not following this string he’d put out, but even he should have recognized how difficult he was to keep track of.

“If you look in the database, there are no known records of the serum failing on who it’s meant for, right? The babies.” He leaned close to me, and looked around the room before inching forward. His glasses hung over his nose and I could see his sunken, sleep-deprived eyes; they lost their warmth when his glasses didn’t cover them up. “There are records, sure, of it failing on the animals, but if you look, their symptoms or causes of death have nothing to do with whatever happened to Susie. They either die when they fall asleep for the first time since taking the dose, lose appetite to starvation, anything like that -- eventually. Susie’s case stuck out to me because it happened right away, and it’s nowhere to be found in our system.”

I pushed out a breath and looked at him. “So, how did you get this? How do you know that our serum did this?”

He flipped the DVD case around and it turned out there had actually been something written on it: Susie’s birth, New Year’s Day, 2011. A silver stamp was smudged on the corner, reading Property of Plethora. That was the year that started off with him having longer days at work than usual, sometimes never even coming home, up until the point Plethora asked him to begin living at the lab. The extra money would pay for my college, he said -- now I knew they swindled him in for some damage control.

It was then that I remembered the image of that infant. This wasn’t the first time I had seen footage of Susie’s shift. I remembered the first weekend of the new year; it was snowing, and my parents and I would take a walk through the neighborhood to watch the inaugural snowfall. When I tugged on my father’s sleeve to pull him out, ever excited despite being in my tween years at this point, he berated me for even setting foot in his office. He had paused whatever he’d been watching, and it froze in a frame of the baby, the cameraman pointing down into her bassinet, catching the exact moment as her veins sprawled out like roots all over her tiny body.

After I was sent to my room, the frame haunted me, and I’m sure my father didn’t want me to see it then. It looked as if it came out of a horror movie. At the time, I didn’t understand much about my father’s work, only knowing he could be protective of it at times when he felt severely under pressure. It was surely one of those times. He apologized to me the following day.

“The girl is still alive to this day,” he said. “I’m not supposed to have a copy of this. Only one other copy might exist, and this one -- well, they probably meant to toss it years ago or forgot I had one with me. It’s proof that something could go wrong with the serum again if we’re not careful, and more importantly, it’s proof that Plethora knows how to hide anything they do wrong.”

❧

I didn’t realize I’d been focusing so hard until I heard the petri dish crack underneath my tool. I used a metal scalpel to mix it every morning, checking for irregularities -- I wondered how long I’d been swirling the scalpel in the plastic dish, lost in my thoughts, for me to have pressed down enough to crack it. “Ah, shit.”

Maybe my father was right. I cared more about this job than I was willing to admit, and more than the indifference I feigned. Or maybe he’d shown me that footage the other night to light a fire under my ass, send me down a spiral he knew would lead nowhere but at least would rejuvenate in me some dormant passion for the career again. The truth is, I had been feeling more unhinged about working as a biologist, working for Plethora, working in general. I felt I didn’t have much time -- if any time, at all -- to grieve my mother’s death and in the last six months, it had left me feeling off-kilter. From my father I inherited the grit to work through anything, and from my mother I inherited the ability to feel it all at the end of the day, when the work was done. I was probably depressed.

I transferred the sample into a brand new petri dish and sighed. I reached across the counter for a wire-bound booklet we kept on hand at all times of lab protocols, flipping through it haphazardly until a folded-up piece of paper fell out. It contained instructions on how to make the very first version of the serum, Serum Zero, written in the scrawl of its founding scientists almost three decades ago. Of course, it was a photocopied version of the actual written page, and the company’s logo -- along with the word “confidential” -- was printed on it in see-through ink. If the company had known it was there, it would likely get rid of it and suspend whoever stuck it in there. Of course, my father had done it.

He told me he kept it in plain sight because no one would ever think to look for it in the protocols handbook, and no one would even suspect a want for the very first record of Serum Zero. After all, the alpha was the most recent, most improved upon, and therefore the best version of it -- why bother backtracking? To study its components, of course.

I dumped the replaced petri dish into the biological disposables bin, along with the serum. There was no need for it; besides, when I cracked the dish, I might have accidentally contaminated it if it touched the counter. I wiped the counter again, grabbed an empty dish, and unfolded the piece of paper, holding it in place on the counter using a paperweight. I wasn’t sure what the alpha version of the serum contained now (it always seemed like valuable information to me, given that I would be experimenting on it and wouldn’t want to add the same components -- but with more thought, I wondered if Plethora kept it that way so as to preoccupy us scientists from poking our noses so much) but having the original formula for Serum Zero would be a start. I knew what the end result did and that was all that mattered in this new quest of mine.

One by one, I pulled out the components -- all clear liquids, all minuscule samples -- and laid them out on the counter in a mise en place that my mother might be proud of, and went to work.

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mikeyd1986 · 8 years ago

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MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 56, June 2017

On Monday morning, I heard the terrible news that Jodie’s mum had passed away and so the Healthy Cooking on a Budget course was forced to be cancelled. Mum and I decided to buy her a lovely sympathy card and gave it to the staff at Balla Balla Community Centre to pass onto her. She truly is a wonderful chef and cooking teacher and I feel blessed knowing that she helped me to improve my skills in the kitchen. Hopefully she returns in Term 3 after she’s had time to grieve. http://www.ballaballa.com.au/progra...

On Monday night, I had my Strength Training session with Luke Davey at Breakaway Fitness in Berwick. Suffice it to say, it was a really bad session for me. My “I’m not good enough” tape was playing so loudly inside my head that I couldn’t switch it off and suddenly my depression got triggered off. After Luke asked me what I was on my mind, I went to pieces and started getting teary in front of him. I couldn’t keep all those emotions buried any longer.

I just feel socially inadequate and depressed. I was really struggling to connect with anyone socially tonight. I get myself jealous when others can easily start or contribute to conversations and I can’t. My social life is practically non-existent. I don’t know how to fit in with friends or the other trainers and coaches at UFT. At least a few people said hi to me so that’s something but it didn’t feel like it was enough. Unfortunately, I couldn’t seem to explain why I was feeling this way to Luke and resorted to replying with one-worded answers. https://www.facebook.com/breakawayf...

WARM-UP...Because of how I was feeling inside mentally, it really affected my performance tonight. I did 3 rounds of 15 back extensions. I was struggling heaps especially when I got passed my 10th rep. My knees and lower calves were on fire and I had to stop and rest. It was absolutely embarrassing. I just felt so shit about myself. Next, I used a small rubber ball to release tension from my hips and upper back. This is also known as SMR (Self-myofascial release) or rolling out.

DEVELOPMENT...Tonight I had to do 5 rounds of 8 dead lifts. I honestly felt like I wasn’t doing my best tonight. I was overthinking and unable to focus on getting my posture and technique right. Still, I didn’t give up even though my brain and my negative thoughts were trying hard to make me fail. I believe my weight was around 60-70kg.

We ended the session by playing a game of spike ball. You basically have to hit a soft rubber ball into a round trampoline-like net and return the ball back on the full. I’ve pretty much sucked at ball games all my life and so I knew I was gonna be terrible at this. Still I gave it a go and though Luke was trying hard to encourage me, I just couldn’t execute it properly and the ball flew in random directions. Overall, I just wasn’t myself tonight and I found it hard to be positive about my session.

On Tuesday morning, Mum and I went to the walking group at Narre Community Learning Centre. It was quite a large group today with about 30 members participating. I was a little daunted meeting all these new people at once but everyone was so welcoming and friendly towards me. We ended up walking down to at Fountain Gate Super Centre and had a coffee at Cafe Oreo just outside Spotlight. I was a little too cluttered for me and so I found myself avoiding eye contact and tracing the wood grains on the table. But at least I was around positive people which is what I need. http://narreclc.net.au/neighbourhoo...

Around lunchtime, I brought my Mum along to my counseling session at Piece Together Counselling. I was a little nervous but thankfully the session went smoothly. I touched upon some of my social difficulties during Kindergarten. I remember doing some creative craft activities inside when all the other kids were playing outside. I was very much an introvert from early childhood and fitting in with people was always going to be a struggle for me.

Ruth also discussed the idea of joining a meetup group and finding like-minded people to associate myself with and also getting another cat. I do believe that having companionship is very important for somebody like me. She reminded me of how independent and courageous I am, engaging in social activities such as going to fitness classes, cooking classes, local gigs and the gym. These are all things that I should be proud of.

The absence of having a Dad in my life has had a significant impact on me. I’ve noticed that I look to male figures for comfort, reassurance, validation and praise. This is the massive black void within me that I just cannot fill. It’s the reason why I sometimes come off as desperate, wanting others to verbally say the words “I’m so proud of you Michael”. But I am truly blessed to have such a close relationship with my Mum and a lot of supportive friends in my life to get me through tough times. https://www.piecetogethercousellingnarrewarren.org/...

On Tuesday night, I went to a Restorative Yoga class with Kim Lousada at Now, Yoga.. My yoga practice this term was been very irregular due to having financial issues and life generally getting in the way. It’s been a tough few months for me but I’m determined to start making yoga a weekly practice again next term once the dust has settled. After last night’s emotional episode with Luke, I knew I really had to go tonight. http://nowyoga.net.au/

Kim began the class by talking about the inner guru and the silent observer. Basically it’s about letting go of your thoughts, feelings, doubts, worries and anxieties and focusing on your breath. It’s also about nurturing and being kind to yourself or being non-judgemental. We did a variety of different supported poses including Child’s pose, Fish pose, Mermaid pose, Butterfly pose and Seated Forward Fold. The idea behind a restorative yoga practice is to hold poses for longer and yet doing so in a gentle way using several props including blocks, blankets and bolsters. https://www.yogajournal.com/poses/t...

We ended the class by doing a long Yoga Nidra meditation which left me feeling lighter like I was about to float out of the studio. I made a Sankalpa (Positive intention) for tonight which was “Everything is going to be okay for me”. After some deep breathing, Kim guided us through the Rotation of Awareness, a body scan of sorts from the right side of the body to the left. And finally, we did a visualization exercise which involved creating mental images of various scenes such as a full moon, a sunset, a doctor’s office and a temple on a mountain. http://www.abc.net.au/health/librar...

On Thursday afternoon, I decided to treat myself to a full body Chinese massage at Top 1 Therapy in Cranbourne West. It’s been about two months since my last massage so this was long overdue. I’m slowly letting go of the false belief that “it’s selfish to have a massage” and that “I don’t deserve this”. Both of these thoughts are bullshit. Self-care is so important and honestly it’s much better to seek the treatments I need rather than be proud and suffer in silence.

Of course, I was a little anxious approaching the Asian sales lady and trying hard not to be too awkward but it was all good. The obvious language barrier was not a deterrent for me. In fact, I was grateful for the silence and the calming music in the store. It meant that I could focus on relaxing even with my mind racing with thoughts. I’m still not a fan of the thumping and chopping style of massage but at least it didn’t take up the entire session.

I was very tense and sore across my back, neck, shoulders, thighs...pretty much everywhere and whilst I was feeling a bit sensitive today, I managed to relax enough to enjoy the massage. And at $39, I’m certainly not going to complain about the service. I will definitely go back there again. http://www.top1therapy.com/

On Thursday night, I had my second Strength Training session with Luke Davey at Breakaway Fitness in Berwick. To be honest, I was feeling a bit nervous after what happened on Monday night but I tried really hard to be as optimistic as possible. It was good to see that Luke was really caring, asking me if I was doing okay after Monday. I didn’t feel like confiding in him completely but enough to explain myself. I have to remember that Luke’s not my therapist and he can only do so much to help with my issues. I just wanted to focus on getting through tonight’s session.

I recently learned that sometimes it’s better to just focus on being myself rather than trying to fit in with everyone else. I have enough self-awareness to realise that I’m not narcissistic, I don’t have a large ego, I’m not obsessed with all things Crossfit and I really don’t care that much about how much I can lift. My sense of achievement comes from making the effort to show up to training and being able to give it my all. Numbers aren’t a motivator for me. I’m still learning to be okay with all of this and eventually I will be. I don’t have to be like the others.

WARM-UP...I started my pushing the side of my body, underneath the armpit, into a long stick leaned into the wall on a diagonal. Next I did my usual 12 reps of resistance band stretches into both arms and then 2 rounds of 15 bench press bar raises.

DEVELOPMENT...Today I did a slightly different weight routine to what I’m used to, doing 10kg bar bell presses on the bench (5 rounds of 8 reps). It was a lot harder than it looked because you had to keep the bar bells steady whist pushing them upwards and into the middle. I did gradually improve over the four rounds though. I attempted to do one round of 20kg bar bell presses but it ended up becoming to difficult to lift.

WORK-OUT...Honestly this was easily the hardest workout I’ve done in weeks. It started with a 12 round EMOTM (Every Minute on the Minute) ride on the assault bike doing 6 cals per minute. My first attempt on the assault bike was dreadful to say the least but this time I was determined to do better.

My knees were starting to burn about halfway through and for some reason I was pedaling backwards on a few rounds but in the moment, I really didn’t care. In the last round, I had to reach 10 cals so I decided to close my eyes to block out any external stimuli and just focus on pedaling as hard as possible. My legs were like jelly stepping off that bike.

The second part of the workout however was even worse. 3 rounds of 12 ring rows and 20 Russian twists with a 10kg plate. I was panting so much and no amount of controlled breathing could stop it completely. Luke was trying hard to motivate me but my body was slowly caving in to the fatigue and the pain so I had to stop several times. However, I wasn’t feeling weak nor ashamed about myself. This was a fucking tough workout and yet I’m somehow getting through it.

I thought that I wouldn’t be able to finish the workout but Luke made sure I crossed the finish line. I literally collapsed onto the foam mat as I was so breathless and exhausted. It’s clear that Luke pushes my hard and there’s a part of my brain that absolutely hates it but in reflection, I know that he has good intentions for me. He could have given up on me after Monday night’s session and tossed me into the “too hard to deal with” basket but he didn’t and that truly means a lot to me.

On Friday morning, Mum and I went down to the Dandenong Market to do some shopping. We visited the usual regulars including the greeting card stall, the Marketto Cafe, the florist and local green grocers. The only thing I don’t like about the Dande market is the crowds. My anxiety levels tend to spike up whenever I’m in a high traffic area with people trying to pass each other and I have to be gentle with myself. Literally, breathe through the anxiety. But otherwise, I enjoy spending time with my Mum there every month.

On Friday night, I went to my RPM class at YMCA Casey ARC in Narre Warren. It’s been about a couple of months since my last cycle workout but I was ready to jump back on the bike tonight. I had to be mindful about how hard I push myself considering how intense last night’s assault by workout was but I still gave it everything I had in the tank. We’re up to release 75 which consisted of some short sprint tracks and high intensity endurance tracks.

I was hitting around 60-70 RPM on the uphill sections, 80-90 RPM on the flat easy ride sections and 100-130 RPM on the sprint and race sections. I actually felt really good walking out of the class tonight because I really gave it everything. http://w3.lesmills.com/israel/en/cl...

On Saturday night, I decided to treat myself after work and went to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales at Village Cinemas Fountain Gate. Honestly, I thought this was a really solid entry in the franchise. It was certainly much better than the bloated and boring third installment (At Worlds End) and the incoherent mess that was the previous film (On Stranger Tides). This film is very much a return to form, going back to the roots of the original with returning cast members, over-the-top fighting and chase sequences and plenty of entertaining moments.

The basic storyline involves Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites), who is the son of Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley). He is in search of the fabled Trident of Poseidon, which if found can break the curse that his father is currently under. He believes that finding Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) will be the key to locating this hidden treasure. But of course an old foe in Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem) has been reawakened. Captain Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) forms an unlikely alliance with Salazar in order to hunt Sparrow down.

Directors Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg successfully steer the ship (so to speak) into much clearer waters. Johnny Depp brings his usual charm and humour to Sparrow, who is still a drunken, careless and now crew-less pirate. He steals quite a few of the scenes especially during his execution with Scarfield (David Wenham). There are still moments where the dialogue is as wooden as the Black Pearl and some supernatural star gazing requires major suspension of disbelief.

But overall I thoroughly enjoyed this film. It has an interesting plot, great characters, plenty of action and lots of funny moments. It even managed to tie a few loose ends together before the credits roll. If this happens to be the final POTC film, then it goes off with a squash-buckling bang. Make sure you stick around after the credits for an extra scene. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1790809...

“You’ll be knocked out, come around, shot down, shatter on the stony ground. Yeah take it from me, it’s how it’ll be...But if you crash land in the quicksand, I will pick you up, I’ll pull you out. And if the world shakes, your brittle heart breaks, we will patch it up, we’ll work it out.” Tom Chaplin - Quicksand (2016)

“Oh I see it now, see it now. Look back and see. From shadows the loneliness reaching for me. I will give it a home so it’s never alone. It was buried so deep...Now there’s nothing to fear, I see it so clear.” Tom Chaplin - See It So Clear (2016)

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christhealinghurch · 8 years ago

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The following article came from DR. J.M. HAGGARD, now in Heaven.

From all over the United States come reports form believers that they are being bypassed on their jobs by less qualified people. In federal and state agencies many believers report that they seem to be put on a shelf and status quo exists while new people zip to the top with advancements.

Some business executives report being fired without reason.

Marriages considered quite solid suddenly break up.

Children with a previously dependable record become erratic.

We think that the real answer is that many people are being controlled by witchcraft. This booklet only touches the tip of what surely must be a giant iceberg. Only the overcomer is properly equipped to defeat this monster. We must learn to use our weapons. (II Corinthians 10:4)

The believer or overcomer according to the Scriptures, is to be "more than conquerors" (Romans 8:37) and never ashamed. Joel 2:26,27; Isaiah 29:22; Psalm 37:19; Romans 10:11.

We have been deceived as to where to send the enemy when we immobilize and cast the evil spirits out of a person, business, home, county, or country. Now the Scriptures have been dissected to show that we should lock them up and keep them from recycling through our lives. Let's clear the land like the Father set out for us to do. Psalm 149:6-9; Isaiah 24:21,22; Matthew 8:31; Luke 10:19; Romans 8:17-23; Hebrews 2:8.

(If any part of this book offends you, go ahead and attack and bind the evil because the true good of the Father will remain undisturbed.)

What is Witchcraft?

Rebellion is as witchcraft.

I Samuel 15:23. "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou has rejected the Word of the Lord, He hath also rejected thee from being king."

When you turn from God you are in witchcraft or the devil's world. This is a most general statement in that you have given place to the devil and will live by the devil's rules and we have to understand the devil's mode of operation. The devil's mode of operation is best described as witchcraft. (My own definition of witchcraft is: The control, influence, or manipulation of persons or objects through the unseen force of evil spirits.)

We have to be basically realistic to realize the force of the devil or satan. The force of the devil is only through the operation or manipulation of evil spirits. If satan wants one of his people in a higher position in a company, then he has to have an evil spirit in a person of authority to advance the preferred one.

If the devil wants to bring a preacher down he might use an evil spirit of lust in a gorgeous young well perfumed sweet thing to bring about a fall. This operation doesn't just have to be in a preacher because you see it work in all groups.

Witchcraft is the use of everything in the devil's arsenal to destroy any change of a human being coming into the full power of God. (To keep the person from being knowledgeable and powerful enough to "overcome" (defeat) him and his army of evil spirits.)

Occult means unseen, so all these practices are hidden snare to involve humans in the devil's world to make the human think that he, the human, has it all. Here is a partial list of snares the devil uses.

Occult Practices (partial listing): Fortune Telling, Ouija Board, Cards, Good Luck Charms, Seances, Edgar Cayce, Jeanne Dixon, Mind Control, Witchcraft, Four-leaf Clover, Rabbit Foot, Wishbone, ESP, Transcendental Meditation, Yoga, Hypnosis, Drugs - Tranquilizers and Pain Relievers, Incense, Dungeons and Dragons, Pendulum, Palm Reading, Automatic Handwriting, Pierced Ears, Horoscopes, Signs of the Zodiac, Voodoo, Magic, Levitation, Waterwitching, Tea Leaf Reading, Secret Organizations and Lodges, Eight Ball, Smoking, Chewing Tobacco, Dipping Snuff, Drinking Alcoholic Beverages, Kabala, Handwriting Analysis, Strychnine, Arsenic, Spirits of Gene and Chromosome Damage, Crystal Ball, Tarot Cards, Psychic Readings, Spiritualism, Sorcery - Drugs - Pharmakia, LSD, Rubik's Cube, Clairvoyance, Telepathy, Para-psychology, Enchantments, Potions, Ankh, Peace Sign, Star of David and Five Pointed Stars, Artifacts, Tatoos, Owls and Frogs, Snakes Self Realization, Deja-vu, Martial Arts, Buddism-zen, Hinduism, Taoism, Yin and Yang, Confucianism, Acupuncture, Hare Krishna, Bingo Gambling and Playing Cards Gambling, Astral Projection, Eckankar, Reincarnation, Arthur Ford, Ruth Montgomery, Divining for Metal or Minerals or Anything Else, Psychosybernetics, Mind over Matter, Pyramid Power, UFO, Trances, Dolls (Originated in Voodoo), Psychometry, Psychic Predictions, Clairaudience, Second Sight, Auras, Metaphysics, Mental Science, Vision, Superstition, Fetishes, Runes, Amulets, Talismans, Satanism, Indian Witchcraft, Sun or Moon Worship, Spiritual Healing, Italian Horn, Indian Religions, Warpaint, Maize Fertility, Christian Science Healing, Omens, Karma, Rock and Roll, Mediums, Hex Signs, "Jesus" Rock and Roll, Itial, Irish, Gypsy, German, Etc., - Witchcraft, Rappings, Poltergeists, Haunted Houses, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Tolkien, Conjuration, Incantation, Idolatry, TV Shows like "Merlin", Walt Disney, Rose Mary's Baby, Reading Hari, Biofeedback.

CULTS: (Many cults have their members say a prayer that their soul touch all souls. This is one of the ways evil soul ties are formed.)

Jehovah's Witnesses, Christian Science, Rosicrucians, Theosophy, Unity, Mormonism, Unitarians, Bahai, Spiritualism, Scientology, Swedenborganism, Christodelphiamism, Inner Peace Movement, Spiritualism, Spiritual Frontiers Fellowship, Association for Research and Development, Religious Research Foundations of America, Eckankar, Urantia, Moonies, Subud, Latihan, Islam, The Way, and other religions using the Bible but denying or omitting the Divinity of Christ, and/or the Atonement of His precious Blood, any group denying existence of heaven or hell, Catholic Church.

A believer must be aware that from every aspect of his life and activity, he is threatened constantly with the prospect of witchcraft being beamed at him by the enemy. These attacks come from unknown or unsuspecting sources. The snares of satan are cleverly laid to trap the believer into a situation where satan can have more control over his or her mind.

A good example of this is drugs, known as sorcery, and medications such as: (even though they are prescribed by a doctor) Valium, Serex, Phenobarbital, and other common medications which are not curative. These can lead to mind control. Anesthetics in the hospital, blood transfusions, hypnosis, legal or illegal, smoking of tobacco, and smoking of marijuana are also mind altering. (There are many others.) Consumption of alcoholic beverages, (including wine), participation in ESP, transcendental meditation, these can all lead to sharing and giving to the devil an edge in controlling the believer's mind.

SATAN IS AFTER THE CONTROL OF YOUR MIND.

Mind control is the chief weapon of satan to snare the believer. The Scriptures admonish us to "bring every thought into captivity", II Corinthians 10:5. The Scriptures say that the spirit of a sound mind means a disciplined mind. It is absolutely essential for a person to keep a sound mind or a disciplined mind, to become aware of the thoughts that are coming from the devil and the thoughts that are coming from the he Lord. Many times a person will enter a world of fantasy and imagination, lusting after something, or covetousness, or of something they consider normal. Many times they will dwell on what to do in case of an accident. This is a great counterfeit when the devil will have you go over and over what to do in case of an accident. By accepting this and hearing this in your mind you are giving place to the devil for it to happen.

This is a counterfeit for what we are supposed to do when these thoughts enter our minds. We should reject them and reassure ourselves that it cannot happen to us because the protection is available that the Lord has promised in His scriptures. Psalm 91 and other great scriptures should enter our mind and we should control the thoughts and possess total victory over those situations. We should dispose or cast out these thoughts of the devil and not entertain them.

It's important to "capture our thoughts"

By apprehending our thoughts, understanding our thoughts, and being able to look upon our own thoughts, we can bring every thought into captivity. Many times a split personality could stop the personality from changing by simply taking charge of his own thoughts.

It has been our experience that the thought pattern has to change in order to give way to the new personality to take over. It is important to realize that things like Dungeons and Dragons, and other games of witchcraft, put the mind in gear for satan. Then witchcraft activity becomes common place. The casting of spells, the inducing of charms, and the practicing of witchcraft takes over the entire mind and thus gives way tot he mind control spirit whereby the mind can be controlled by the devil himself. This is also the reason for the psychedelic colors in the Rubik's cube, and the mind boggling disco lights and the lights that are sold as rhythm, colors. All these colors affect the mentality and aid in the taking over and controlling of the mind.

Witchcraft in the Church

The practice of witchcraft in the Catholic Church is in all their ceremonies. The mind is purchased or you might say controlled by the water baptism being poured across the forehead. A Catholic helps curse himself or herself every time he or she makes an upside down cross in crossing himself. Catholics participate in a lie in transubstantiation in communion (Cannibalism). Cursing of themselves occurs through the "sick call sets", consisting of a crucifix, two candles, and holy water. Worshipping saints (praying to the dead) is scripturally forbidden (Deuteronomy 18:11). Calling a man Father (Master) is also forbidden in Matthew 23:9. The Catholic Church is really an endless string of damnable practices all done in the name of Jesus Christ. (II Corinthians 11:13-15).

Organizations:

Cub scouts, scouting organizations, demolays and masonic organization's ritualism and symbolism all go back to Nimrod. It all leads to the satanic: It is a well known fact that many teachers are practicing witches. One boy from a southern state (he was a high school English teacher) said the head of the teacher training program in that state was the head witch in that state.

Teachers who are witches, usually go to school to learn how to interweave witchcraft into the teaching program without being suspected by the community. Witchcraft is taught in school by the promotion of folklore, study of demons, and study of demonology. The building up of witchcraft as good and white magic as good is commonly taught. The students are always told that witchcraft, the way he's using it, or she's using it is for good. This is a lie of satan because all witchcraft, black magic, white magic, or white or black witchcraft is all bad. In one school the teacher had put a curse on his pupils of "death and hell". The only way to stop this is for it to be broken by overcomers by the power that Jesus Christ has given us.

Another example is that of a student that put spells and love potions on a girl to make her desire him sexually. Don't kid yourself that it won't work. This all becomes commonplace in schools where witchcraft is practiced. Where Dungeons and Dragons is played it isn't unusual for students to put spells on other students for a power move or vengeance and sometimes for the fun of it. They get a kick out of trying their new power.

It is all very real, and it results in an evil spirit being put into the participants by the curse, hex, or charm, and the students mentality and entire attitude usually becomes erratic and unpredictable. In schools where karate or judo is taught this causes further demon possession.

In gym classes, YMCA and YWCA, people are often taught to sit in the Lotus position. This also opens them to demons.

Only the believer has the power to prevent this witchcraft. It is by the overcoming power of the Lord Jesus Christ and knowing your weapons. It is up to each family to keep the children free of witchcraft and curses. A parent should send angels with the children for protection. (Hebrews 1:14) We have many ways to protect them and we will discuss it further in this chapter.

The great conspiracy of satan to control your mind reaches into the entertainment field through television and movies. Most of the actors and actresses on television today are either practicing witches or mixed up in witchcraft or seeking witchcraft or seeking the power of witchcraft. Most are in some way implicated in it.

SOAP OPERAS

Soap operas have a powerful grip on the mind. Mind control, soul removal and entrance of evil spirits all occur in the person watching them. Emotionalism, violence, passion, anger, lust, free love, hate, you name it, the opportunity for many to enter the person is there. For example, Dallas brings about spirits that would seek to corrupt every form of business and home life.

The authors, writers and script writers are absolutely polluted with it. As a result they produced Star Wars, Jaws, Empire Strikes Back and many more. Many movies are the most horrible, grotesque, powerful, satanic, indescribable, treacherous, revolting, productions. Words cannot describe the effects that witchcraft has had in our entertainment field. Filling the observer with fear and opening him up for demons to enter is the goal of each horror movie.

There is hardly a page of movie ads that are fit to read. You want to remember that witchcraft includes the use of sex. You see people who are delving and dealing in witchcraft have no ability to develop any love such as the Holy Spirit and the scriptures define as love.

The only love they have is the sexual activity. To them that is love. So the sexual activity is not only important to them but it is a powerful factor in their generation of force. Sexual activities and stimulation is not only used as a subverting factor, but as a counterfeit of true love and the sending forth of more powerful curses.

In witchcraft books they suggest that you go out in public with no clothes on except a raincoat and then take the coat off in an elevator to build up their energy or power. I feel the braless and bikini looks have their roots in witchcraft.

Please Note: A look at a nude or indecently exposed body or pornographic material can be just as potent as the taking of a drug, in admitting or activating an evil spirit.

Medical Science

Of course the biggest field of all that has been invaded, is medicine. The devil is after your mind and the chemicals that would be considered pure sorcery by scriptural definition is now known as medicine.

Medicine fields through the Psychology, Osteopathy, MDs and especially the Psychiatrist, are all touched by the practice of witchcraft. How else do you think acupuncture could gain such a foothold. Not only in the human medical field but in Veterinary Medicine as well. It's pure stupidity for the believer or the overcomer to accept this as medicine, yet it holds the fascination of the world and the people who are educated and always have required complete scientific data, sometimes okay acupuncture. It is an abomination to the Lord and is out of Chinese witchcraft.

I am going to use the word conspiracy because that is certainly the best term for it and includes all teachings of witchcraft. In each of the governmental agencies the kingpin is unknown and unseen and cannot be told by the ordinary observer. They are there and they run threadlike down through the agencies touching and affecting our lives.

Workers who have become aware of this, have been told that there are certain signs they go by. When you get high enough in a witch's coven, or in studying witchcraft and mind control, you automatically become a member of the CFR, which is the organization that controls these people through mind control, ESP and the techniques of witchcraft.

BUSINESS

Business has been infiltrated by witchcraft and you can tell that by the way motor companies have named some of their cars. The Ram, The Omni, the Warlock and many other brand names are the same names that are used in the devil's kingdom. Some logos are definitely witchcraft SYMBOLS ALSO, THESE SYMBOLS ARE AN ABOMINATION TO THE Lord. The stars and moon symbol is used by the devil's world, and any overcomer or believer who is trying to run his business like the Lord wants him to, would not tolerate it to be on his products or in any way be associated with it.

Protestant Churches

The Protestant church is infiltrated with witchcraft in the fact that ESP, Transcendental Meditation, and hypnosis are all used commonly now for relaxing. One Methodist lady said that the Methodist Church had found TM a wonderful way to refresh the foreign missionaries when they came back from the foreign field all worn out. If you call loading them with evil spirits a way to relax them, transcendental meditation is a way to do it.

Fund Raisers

Fund raisers and the people raising money in church activities routinely use witchcraft knowingly and unknowingly. Mind control through soul power and fleshly pressures are quite common. In a well known charismatic group's national convention, two men were instructed to stand and hold up $1,000 checks and say "I will" when the person in charge said that he felt that there were some there that would give $1,000 each.

This is putting a "guilt trip" on other men who feel they should "keep up" their share. This is manipulation of the fleshly mind, certainly not the operation of the Holy Spirit.

The use of worldly fund raisers to solicit funds for so called "Godly" purposes is an insult to the Holy Spirit's ability to work in the hearts of overcomers to put the dynamite under the devil.

Dying and Aging Seminars

The devil, through mind control, loves to see people getting ready to die, retire, and to get old and be "out of the way". The Scriptures never refer to an overcomer losing his or her usefulness. We should study how to live.

If you say you are ready to die for God, the devil will usually be the one to accommodate you. An overcomer is much more useful to the Lord while alive, while satan would just as soon have him dead.

Through witchcraft and mind control, the devil loves to get someone to say "I feel as though I'll die young" or I'll never live beyond 52 because my family all dies at that age."

Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof."

Matthew 12:37 "For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned."

Education

The education system also is infiltrated by witchcraft. The colleges and universities are offering courses of parapsychology. They study and participate in hypnosis, ESP and transcendental meditation. Under this label they teach it and give credit for these courses. This is an abomination to God. It is a blight to America, it can only be stopped by the overcomer's power through Jesus Christ.

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