#and she literally claimed the queen's ghost is visiting the dogs

[heir-less]

A brief trip to Fergie Land

Oh, no, not Fergie getting snubbed from the Coronation! She's done so much to prove she's part of the family! That she's "in" and not "out"! Living with her ex-husband of 26 years on a Crown estate wasn't enough, apparently.

Neither was the animal psychic who evaluated her two "bereaved" corgis on live television. All those tasteful photoshoots and interviews for nothing, rats!

It's fine though, The Queen's ghost will keep her and the dogs company:

"I always think that when they bark at nothing, and there's no squirrels in sight, I believe it's because the Queen is passing by."

[transmxnfenris]

EVERY BOTANICAL ASK

WHY DO YOU DO THIS Jasmine: what mythical creature do you wish existed? Ooooh, probs Selkies. They are so pure, good and lovely. I would strive to protect them all. Lavender: soundcloud or vinyls? Vinyl because I’m a True Hipster Primrose: what book does everyone need to read right now? The Book Thief because it changed my life. Lunar mist: do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets? You know the answer to this Richie, I am literally wearing your shirt right now you are right next to me you absolute dork Bird of Paradise: what was the best thing that happened to you this month? Moving to my new place 💖Gardenia: what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself? Um well it’s faith related and kinda secret and I can’t remember any others Lion’s fairytale: would you rather be the sky, the ocean, or the forests? The ocean for sure Whirling butterflies: would you kiss the last person you kissed again? A thousand times 💖Marmalade skies: do you plan your outits? Kinda, I wear the same three outfits all the time cause I am autistic Apricot drift: how do you feel right now? Pretty great. I’m happyEverlasting daisy: what’s the last dream you remember having? Oh you were there! I dreamed we went to Costco last night but it was closed down so you (Richie) cried Queen’s cup: what are you craving right now? McCoy’s Cheddar and Onion crisps like I always am Lavender dream: turn ons/turn offs? Turn ons: well created art Turn offs: unnecessary nastiness Water Lilly: when was the last time you cried? Why? I don’t know I cry all the time I cry because puppies are too cute sometimes Lily of the Valley: did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologise? No, and that’s okay because I don’t need him or his apology. I’m moving on now. Winterberry: do you bite or lick your ice cream? Bite Honey perfume: favourite movie ever? Mulan Snapdragon: have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity? My dads cousin is a quasi famous comedian but I can’t tell you who he is cos my and him have the same last name Night owl: how many countries have you visited?Nine? I think it’s nine Heliotrope: have you ever been in a castle? Yeah loads of times, last one was Hellsinger castle in Denmark where Hamlet’s set. It was awesome. Creams and sky: what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done? Skydiving probs Lantana: what’s on your mind right now? Finishing all these god damn questions you’ve set me you dingbat Pumpkin patch: what’s your zodiac sign? Aries Tulip: name five facts about yourself. Amethyst is my favourite crystal but that may change soonSunflowers are my favourite flowers but I’m starting to prefer daffodils I want to go to Japan I want twelve cats seven dogs and five rabbits I think Icarus deserved better Daphne: do you believe in karma? Kind of Queen of the meadow: ever been in love? I’m in love with you you dingbat Wisteria: whom do you admire and why? Carrie Fisher because she beat addiction and let herself be crazy Angel’s face: what was your favourite bed time story as a child? The Jolly Christmas Postman Remember me: did you make someone laugh today? Yeah you a handful of minutes ago Iris: do you believe in ghosts? Kinda Lilac: If you could go back in time which time period would you visit? Ancient Egypt or Shakespearean times so I could be bffs with Shakespeare or Tutankhamen Caramel kisses: would you want to live forever? Why/why not? When you believe the universe is all connected this question feels hard to answer Primula: what makes you sad? Other people/animals being hurt Rain lily: was today tropical? Why/why not? Not really, cause I live in England. It’s sunny though? Queen Anne’s Lace: who do you trust the most? You ofc 💖Lady’s slipper: what did you have for breakfast today? I skipped breakfast but I had a Tesco’s meal deal for lunch Forget me not: do you have any regrets looking back on life? Yes but I try not to Lunaria: what’s your favourite fictional universe? Why don’t you just ask me to pick a favourite child while you’re at it... probs Persona? Or Star Wars. Or Harry Potter. Or Discworld. Idk this is too hard. Violet: favourite tv show? Hmm ... For quality Mr Robot for rewatchability and comfort Friends Sunflower: share a quote. “I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it's true I'm here, and I'm just as strange as you.” - Frida KahloSnowdrop: what does your ideal day look like? A picnic with my boyfriend on a sunny day with no worries at all Tiger lily: do you have any hobbies? Writing, gaming, role playing, reading, and I like swimming Peony: share a small random book passage that means something to you. “oh I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.” - Sam Black Crow, American GodsIM GONNA STOP NOW cause I’m too tired and this too long

[otmaromanovas]

those asks??? do em all buddy go nuts

ask and ye shall recieve

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?When You Believe, You Will Be Found, Danse Macarbe, 96000, Africa, and Hey Jude2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Queen Elizabeth. She’s an absolute legend, and I’m going to be devastated when she dies. 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.Maria Eva Duarte de Peron had in large quantities many of the qualities needed to lift her from obscurity to fame4: What do you think about most?What the hell I’m going to do with my life5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?“You up for DTBD tonight??”6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?Depends on the season. In autumn and winter I do, but sometimes summer can be way too warm (even at night)7: What’s your strangest talent?I can sightread sheet music perfectly8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)Girls will be girls. Boys need to grow the hell up.9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?Not explicitly, no. 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?I honestly can’t remember11: Do you have any strange phobias?No12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?I had a piece of lego up there when I was a little kid13: What’s your religion?I’m Roman Catholic14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?Tanning, taking photos or reading in the shade15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?Behind it.16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?I don’t think I have one. I fluctuate between favourite songs, and bands are even harder17: What was the last lie you told?I claimed having to work so I could be designated driver so I didn’t have to drink18: Do you believe in karma?I do. I try to do good things so good things happen to me. 19: What does your URL mean?I’ve loved Elizabeth Schuyler since I was an actual child, and her familial nicknames were Liza and Betsey20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?I’m so awkward around people I don’t know. I like to think I am the most supportive person you will ever knoe21: Who is your celebrity crush?Gal Gadot22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?No!23: How do you vent your anger?Throwing pillows around and screaming24: Do you have a collection of anything?I’m working on a playbill collection of shows helmed by women. I started collecting shells from every beach I visit when I was a kid, and I still do that now. 

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Video chatting- I love seeing peoples faces when I talk to them26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?I’m content. I wouldn’t say happy yet, but I’m getting there27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?Microphone feedback is literally the worst. Orchestras warming up is the greatest sound you will ever hear28: What’s your biggest “what if”?What if I dropped out of my degree and moved down to Canberra now, rather than in two years?29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?I think ghosts are just the memory of people who have lived. I do believe people see them. I absolutely refuse to think that humans are the only sentient species in the entire universe. 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.A mug of tea. A potted plant31: Smell the air. What do you smell?Freshly cut grass and cold air32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?A B&B in Sydney that boiled the sausages for breakfast33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?I live on an east coast, so I’m biased34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?If I had to choose, probably Calvin Harris35: To you, what is the meaning of life?Living to the best of your ability36: Define Art.Subjective37: Do you believe in luck?Yes38: What’s the weather like right now?Windy and kind of chilly. But not cold yet.39: What time is it?10:25am40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?I do! No (knock on wood). I’ve been in the car when it has crashed, but I’ve never caused it.41: What was the last book you read?The Book of the Dead by the New York Times. It’s a collection of the obituaries they’ve published since they were founded. It’s grim, but so interesting42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?A little, yes43: Do you have any nicknames?So many! My favourite is Goldilocks (I used to have really long, blonde, curly hair) 44: What was the last film you saw?Moana. I was babysitting my neighbours daughters and they suggested it. 

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?Okay so I was a water polo player for years, and had some major beef with this girl. We played against each other in an interschool competition. It was a REALLY violent game. I ended up giving her a black eyes and I loosened some of her teeth- she gave me a concussion, a cracked rib, and managed to nearly dislocate my knee. Oh yeah, and I nearly drowned. Great times. We aren’t allowed to play on opposing teams anymore.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?I almost always have a bouquet of flowers with me, and they like to land on me, but I’ve never caught one47: Do you have any obsessions right now?Vinyl records48: What’s your sexual orientation?Cis-straight49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?That I had sex with four people in a tent on the one night. Yeah, nope. This girl doesn’t have sex in tents. This girl doesn’t even camp.50: Do you believe in magic?Not the fairy magic, but yes51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Oh my god yes52: What is your astrological sign?Aries53: Do you save money or spend it?I try to save, but usually end up spending it all.54: What’s the last thing you purchased?A pair of Rosie the Riveter-style overalls for a 1940′s themed costume party55: Love or lust?Love. It’ll last longer56: In a relationship?Not right now57: How many relationships have you had?Two. Maybe three, but we never defined what it was58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?No.59: Where were you yesterday?I was at work60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?My headphones, mouse pad and fingernails61: Are you wearing socks right now?No62: What’s your favourite animal?Quokkas. Literally the cutest things I have ever seen63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?64: Where is your best friend?In Sydney (I only see her once a year, which is just not good enough for me)65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.lucreziaborgia, runawayforthesummer, and that’s literally it. 66: What is your heritage?My dad is Italian, my mother is Australian. His family are Italian, her family are Irish and English67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?Drinking the university bar dry68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?Smith or Jones. Lucifer Smith sounds terrifying, does it not?69: Biggest turn ons?Neck kisses, a well-tailored suit, button up shirts with the sleeve pushed up over the elbow, a uniform (especially army), just a little bit of scruff70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?I think so, yes.71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?Save the dog. I’m the boss at work, so if I get fired, everything collapses.72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?I’d tell my family and close friends. I’d spend all my money on travel- see more shows, roadtrip, party. I wouldn’t be afraid.73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.Trust.74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?The Cha Cha Slide. so many good memories attached to that song, and it’s impossible not to smile when you’re dancing to it.75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?346276: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?Trust and openness 77: How can I win your heart?Flowers, a new edition of a classic book, and a love of music and theatre78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?Yes. It gives you a perspective that not a lot of other people have79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?Dumping my last boyfriend. That little shit was going nowhere in life. 80: What size shoes do you wear?I’m an 1181: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?“You still owe me money”82: What is your favourite word?Fuck. or serendipity because it’s so fun to say83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.Warm84: What is a saying you say a lot?“I’m just putting it out there”85: What’s the last song you listened to?Hello Hurricane by Switchfoot86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?Rose pink, mint green and sky blue87: What is your current desktop picture?My best friend and dabbing on top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?Donald Trump

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?Have you ever gotten pregnant?90: Turn offs?Not showering, sexism/racism, cargo pants, CROCS91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?Invisibility92: where are your parents from? Dad is from Tully, mum is from Longreach93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?First boyfriend cheating on me. 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?I dont’ know.95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?New York City96: Do you have any relatives in jail?Not that I know of97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?Nope. I’ve been driving when someone has thrown up, but never done it myself98: Ever been on a plane?All the time!99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?Y’all have got to fucking chill