#and remus' hand is twitching as it rests on the side of the bathtub. he wants his father there. he wants lyall to hold him

[elysianymph]

thinking about remus being a dadda's boy when he was little but as he grew up he realized how lyall was drifting away bc of the guilt he felt whenever he looked at remus so remus became a mamma's boy in his teenage years

[thesandersarchives]

The Immediate Aftermath (2)

Again, what it says on the tin (or: a continuation, focusing on Remus and Patton). Rated T. Intruality, background platonic Thomas&Patton. Fluff, Hurt/Comfort. 1693 words.

Patton’s hand stays firmly in Remus’ grip as they plod along after Thomas, and for that, Patton is immensely grateful. It’s a grounding pressure, and without it he may well fall apart.

It’s clear, though, at least to Patton, that the gesture isn’t only for his benefit. Remus is trembling, his fingers twitching occasionally where they’re interlocked with Patton’s own, and he’s pale--well, paler than usual. Although, Patton wonders, perhaps that was only ‘usual’ because of his... situation.

Patton cringes internally at the wording of his mental monologue, but how do you simply describe someone mentally and physically bonding with a whole colony of psychic supernatural worm-things in any other way? 

Patton’s no good with words, never has been, but he’s pretty sure even someone who’s as good at speaking as Logan, or his maybe-boyfriend, would find it difficult to accurately sum up what Remus has been through--what all of them have been through--in a single little sentence.

He gives Remus’ hand a squeeze, shoots him a smile, and watches some of the tension leave his frame. He doesn’t quite smile back, but he does move a little closer, bumping shoulders with Patton occasionally as they continue to their destination.

Thomas is quiet in front of them, and even though he can only see the guy’s back Patton just knows he’s wringing his hands.

“Thomas?” He calls out, soft as he can.

“Huh?” The man in question stops and spins around to look at him, eyes wide and full of a mix of messy emotions that all combine into what Patton can only describe as ‘desperation’.

“Thanks.” Patton offers him a smile, same as he did Remus, and reaches out to pat him on the shoulder before remembering that he’s still covered in grime. He winces, retracting his hand, but tries to laugh, for Thomas’ sake.

Remus nudges him, relaxing his hold on Patton’s hand. “Go for it, Pats, he’s already got dirt on him from when you guys were hugging earlier.”

Patton blinks, and notices the dirt streaking Thomas’ shirt for the first time. “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry!”

Thomas finally smiles, the first real smile Patton’s seen from him, and shakes his head. “Honestly, I needed to wash this shirt anyway. It’s fine.”

There’s an awkward pause, then, and Patton realizes that Thomas is a bit too much like him--he’s not going to ask for what he needs. It’s up to Patton to take the initiative, show him that it’s okay to reach out.

So he pulls Thomas in for another hug, intending for it to be shorter this time because he doesn’t want to overwhelm the poor guy, who’s probably had more hugs in one day than he’s had in years, and that’s only two hugs, and suddenly Patton’s crying, crying for this boy in his arms who grew up thinking he couldn’t love and be loved, who’s missed so much--

And then there’s a musty smell and an arm around his waist and Remus is there too.

“Figured since you’re already covered in dirt, a little worm goo wouldn’t make much difference.” He says, muffled slightly by Thomas’ now-ruined t-shirt, and Thomas sort-of laughs, a huff of breath signaling his amusement (or is it relief? Perhaps it’s both) like he isn’t sure if he’s allowed to properly, actually laugh.

Patton almost cries harder at the thought, but somehow, he manages to pull himself together and pull back.

Thomas looks between the three of them and grimaces. “I’ll grab us all a change of clothes in a bit. Um, there’s one bathroom just here...”

He opens a door, and Patton catches a glimpse of a fancy-looking clawfoot bathtub as well as an overlarge enclosed shower. Beside him, Remus goes very still, but Thomas continues, turning on his heel.

“The other one’s just this way--”

“Actually, kiddo?” Patton interrupts, “I think Remus and I could probably share. I mean, if you don’t mind taking the tub instead, Ree.”

The shorter man practically crumples into him in his obvious relief. “That sounds perfect.”

Thomas’ face is faintly red--whether it’s from Patton calling him ‘kiddo’ or the idea of him and Remus together, Patton’s not sure--but he’s quick to fish out some bath supplies from the cabinets, promising to leave some fresh clothes by the door as soon as he can.

And then it’s just the two of them in what would be a comfortable silence, if Patton hadn’t been so used to a more... boisterous version of Remus.

This Remus is quiet and contemplative, and despite not knowing him before the colony took hold Patton’s certain that this is not the way he used to be.

Patton takes the lead, then, letting Remus get out of his filthy clothes while he fills up the tub with bubbles and warm water (not too hot, in case his skin is too sensitive, the worm scars haven’t healed up as much as either of them would like). He’s grateful for something to do, not just because it’s a distraction, but because this way he doesn’t feel quite so helpless in the face of Remus’ struggles.

Patton disrobes and steps into the shower while Remus climbs into the tub (Patton catches a glimpse, not that he’s trying to look. It’s disconcerting, how many scars there are from the worms, and the fact that he can literally count Remus’ ribs worries him even more, but he tries not to frown or shudder or anything like that while he’s still in Remus’ line of sight--it wouldn’t be kind, it wouldn’t be fair)

There’s another long moment of silence while Patton starts on the arduous task of washing the dust and grime out of his hair. Then Remus speaks, his voice still a little rough from everything that happened earlier.

“Pat?”

“What’s up, hon?” Patton responds almost automatically, only registering the pet name after it’s left his mouth. He can’t see Remus’ reaction to it, but there’s a pause before he speaks again, and Patton dearly hopes he hasn’t crossed a line, hasn’t moved too quickly after the loss of the colony--

“Would, uh... Could you maybe... Sing? Or, or just talk to me, or something, anything that makes noise--I need it to not be quiet right now, but I don’t--I don’t...”

Remus sighs heavily, and before he can start up with some self-deprecating remarks Patton interrupts, putting as much cheer into his tone as he can without it sounding forced. Or so he hopes.

“Sure thing! Any requests?”

They spend a few minutes going back and forth about songs, because Remus’ taste in music tends towards the strange and obscure, and the songs he names are ones Patton’s never heard of before, but every song that Patton suggests is too mainstream for Remus’ liking. Then it devolves into Patton teasing Remus about being a ‘music snob’, but despite the fact that they’re bickering, the mood in the room is considerably lighter for that little while.

Patton ends up humming a lullaby from his childhood while he rinses the conditioner out of his curls, and when he’s finished, he starts with another, cycling through tunes from his favourite old cartoons until he’s all scrubbed clean.

When Patton towels off and steps out of the shower, he sees that Remus is still in the tub, staring at his hands with his lips pressed into a thin line. Patton wraps his towel more securely around his waist, and approaches gingerly. Getting closer, he can see that while Remus’ hands and arms are clean, the state of his hair and face is relatively unchanged, and Patton frowns.

“Remus, sweetheart, did you want some help with your hair?” He leans in, catching Remus’ eyes, and the other man nods, once.

“Thanks.” His voice is tight, like he’s trying to keep the shaking in his hands from creeping into his throat. Patton doesn’t comment, just nods and gets to work.

He’s interrupted about halfway through by Thomas knocking on the door, letting him know that he’s got fresh clothes for the both of them. There’s a tremor in his voice, and Patton hesitates before responding.

“Would you mind waiting around for us? I’m not sure we can find our way around this place without you.” He keeps his tone light, and Remus, bless him, has been shaken out of his own thoughts enough to pick up on what he’s doing, and manages a sound of agreement.

Patton rinses the last of the shampoo out of Remus’ too-long hair. Remus’ head is tipped back, his eyes closed, his lips set in a relaxed smile. He looks so much happier, healthier, more vibrant and alive and himself, and Patton is overcome with the urge to kiss him--on the lips, cheek, forehead, anywhere Remus will allow.

He runs his thumb down Remus’ cheek--gently, the scars are still fresh, not-quite-healed, more like wounds--and he asks. Quiet. Timid. Remus opens his eyes and looks at him for what feels like a long time. Blinks.

And then one hand rises up from the soapy water to curl around the back of Patton’s neck, drawing him in closer until he’s leaning over the edge of the tub. Remus brings him in oh-so-slowly before he seems to lose his nerve and turn to the side, though he rests his head against Patton’s rather than leaning away.

Patton waits a moment before tilting his head up and pressing a kiss to Remus’ temple, the gesture soft but lingering. When he pulls away, Remus gives him a watery smile, his hand coming to cup Patton’s cheek briefly before he lets it drop back below the surface of the water.

It’s a much shorter process to finish drying off and changing into fresh clothes--Remus gets a little giggly after a few off-color remarks set Patton stammering and fumbling over the slightly too-tight shirt Thomas has given him, but at least there’s no sorrow, no heaviness, nothing to cloud this strange but somehow lovely private moment.

Remus immediately reaches for his hand as Thomas leads them back down the hallway to find the others, and it’s the nicest thing that’s happened to Patton all day.