#and realised I'm in the same country as the filming locations of

[wiser-girl]

wow it sure would be a SHAME if I found a CUTE GIRL to go to the Heartstopper beach with that would SUCK

[thethirdromana]

I'm home alone on Saturday evening, what is there to do but go to Netflix and watch a truly appalling romcom? The cat's with me and I have alcohol: it's time for Irish Wish.

I normally rate Alexander Vlahos as an actor so I'm not quite sure what's happened here. His accent is to an actual Irish accent what this is to an elephant:

Picard's son from Picard is here! He's throwing fistfuls of charm at the dubious script and some of it is sticking.

Aww, Maddie is clumsy! What an unusual trait for a character in a romcom.

Fascinated by the choice to dress the mystical Irish fairy in a silk headscarf and a salwar kameez. I mean, it works, it's just... unexpected.

The puff sleeves are awful but I'm honestly impressed that Maddie has a wedding dress that she can run in.

Maybe I'm just failing at genre conventions for this kind of romcom but it feels like it would be helpful if Paul were even a tiny bit likeable, just to give some sense of why Maddie has feelings for him, and also to make it seem like maybe Emma wouldn't be getting such a raw deal out of it.

Is it just that he's loaded and has a massive house?

I've just realised that the house is supposed to be a short journey from Lough Tay, in County Wicklow, but Maddie flew into Knock Airport. And yes, I know that expecting film geography to make sense is a mug's game, but I'm also not sure why they would choose Knock Airport and not Dublin? Is this airport product placement?

Was it that they didn't think it would be plausible for Maddie to end up on a quaint old-fashioned bus from Dublin, but it was plausible that the same quaint old-fashioned bus would drive for three hours across most of Ireland to drop Maddie at the most plot-convenient location?

Oh, and now we're at the Cliffs of Moher. A six-hour round trip from Paul's house.

Let's not even get into the James Joyce thing.

James (not Joyce) tells Maddie that it would "hardly be difficult" to move her wedding to the other side of the country the weekend before it's due to take place. And the sentiment is sweet, but as someone who has organised a wedding, I have to say: it would, in fact, be difficult. Really quite difficult.

It's just not the most straightforward location to hold a wedding, you know?

I can't believe they're doing the classic "he teaches her how to shoot" scene, but with darts.

DARTS. The sexiest leisure activity.

And the height of romance is being weirdly judgmental about someone who you've known for a day.

Picard Junior is giving it socks, in fairness. I hope he gets to do this kind of thing in a better film than this at some point.

Also, Irish fairy lady is... St Brigid? Probably best not to dig into the theological implications of St Brigid-as-trickster-spirit.

The music after the Big Damn Kiss goes on just a tiny bit too long.

It is genuinely unclear to me whether Maddie intends to write a book on the Cliffs of Moher, as in about them, or physically on them. Feels like it could be either in this film.

Well, if nothing else, I hope Knock Airport's marketing team are pleased.