#and partly because I'm so rusty that I can't actually BEAT Nelo Angelo on this mode

[ennead13x]

just stupid things on a replay of a game i love (OR dmc1, part one)

1.) Leave it to Capcom to divine that the best way to get me to like a protagonist is to show me him getting his ass handed to him and subsequently laughing it off (...but mostly just having his ass on a silver platter, with all the garnishes and definitely a toothpick through him.)

2.) Just how many people has Dante had to point down the street because his shop’s sign looks like it’s for a strip joint? How many people did he not bother showing the door?

3.) Trish does not know how doors work, neither at the shop nor on the island. Sure you can just run like 20 steps to the gate, get some loot on the way...or jump this 30 foot cliff. If Dante could have followed her, do you think the trap might have sprung early? And I am still sad that we never get to properly fight her.

4.) Dante gets bored after .03 seconds and will start his idle animation of twirling his guns around no matter where he is - in a sewer, mid-battle camping an enemy spawn point for easy orbs, on the very tippy top of an impossibly pointy massive statue (he likes to feel tall).

5.) There’s...not really much difference between what you can interact with and what you can’t. (Except for the glowing keys, of course.) While this is visually pleasing, I’m reasonably certain that a third of the runtime on all my old save files is just me trying to jump on top of or put my sword through literally the entire environment. This playthrough is shaping up to be about the same.

6.) Not one but TWO secret missions basically boil down to "step on these 100 spiders for me real quick".

7.) I have - several times - accidentally paused mid-fight to read books on things like feudalistic taxation laws, prisoner logs, and the timey-whimey madness happening to these poor medieval schmucks.

8.) Which explains the perfectly functioning bi-plane and grenade launcher we find in a 13th century fortress that is surprisingly well-maintained for having stood out at sea for some 700 years.

9.) There is no way that this game ISN’T a product of the 90s, regardless of its release date. Despite that, the original graphics still hold up pretty well for being 16 years old (I’m playing the 2002 ‘Greatest Hits’ release on my PS2).

10.) Just NOPING out of the corridor the instant Phantom tries to follow you. Alternatively, playing a friendly game of baseball with her[? them? there are a LOT of babies, see #6] as you back away slowly.

11.) You can avoid fighting the Shadow in the courtyard (on Normal Mode) by taking down the wall its statue is *ahem* LION behind, then just exiting the courtyard and faffing about in the corridor until the enemies there are cleared. (Maybe farm a few orbs out of them so you can pull the trick of buying a blue orb right before the end-mission boss battle.) When you go back into the courtyard, all you’ll have to contend with are seemingly infinite Death Scythes. Easy trade-off.

12.) Of course, once you do clear the courtyard of whichever enemy you prefer, you can immediately decide to press your luck and go back down to an entirely different part of the castle to fight THREE Shadows at once. You know. For kicks.

13.) Nelo Angelo just. He just. He comes out of the evil mirror like a menacing badass ready to crush everything...then he...He pops off onto the patio for some air? LOL BYE.

14.) No, but knowing who he is and having his character fleshed out in the prequel and reading the production notes in artbooks from when this game was still Resident Evil all these years later has just made him more funny and more sad at the same time??? You beautiful dramatic bastard.