#and one of the mets' catchphrases is even “ya gotta believe” like come on

[nick-carra-gay-for-gatsby]

i feel like jay gatsby would be a mets fan

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader chapter 94

warnings: none! hold my hand masterlist

The sand is soft on your feet as you walk down the beach, and you stop and pick up a seashell to look at in your hand as you sit down. Even though the sun is coming up and scorching on your face, you smile as you close your eyes and take it in for one last time. You get up and walk down to the water, watching the waves crash over your feet, then you cross your arms and look up at sun streaking the sky orange.

“Hey,” John calls out, and you look over your shoulder at him, “I was looking for you. This is the second time you got up early and came out here, freaks me out when you’re not in bed.”

You chuckle as you reach up to kiss him, then you lean back against his chest when he wraps his arm around your waist, “Sorry, I just wanted to watch the sun one last time.”

John holds you tight in his arms and buries his face in the crook of your neck, “It’s been a good week, peach.”

“It has been,” you tilt your head back and smile, “Thank you for this. I didn’t realize how much we needed this until we got here. We really needed some time away after those stressful two weeks.”

“Well, you deserved a honeymoon. We can’t get married and not have a honeymoon.” John chuckles as he lets go of you, then he sits down in the sand and reaches for your hand.

You sit down next to John and nod your head as you look back at the sunset. You take a deep breath and let out a small laugh when you look over at John, and he furrows his brow and grows curious.

“What?”

“We’re married now, so it’s okay for me to ask things I’ve always wanted to ask, right?” you ask as John nods. “Okay, so, when you were…working, did you have a saying or something?”

John laughs as he furrows his brow, “What?”

“Ya know, like ‘shaken not stirred’, or oh, how about like, ‘hasta la vista, baby’?” you say, putting on the worst Arnold Schwarzenegger accent imaginable. “You know, when you’d kill someone, did you have a catchphrase or something?”

A loud laugh rises from John’s chest as he shakes his head, then he looks up at you and continues laughing, “No, I did not have a catchphrase. Should I have had one?”

“Woulda been kinda cool.” you tease, then you look over at him and smile, “You’ve mentioned a man named Marcus only once since we’ve been together, and that was a very long time ago when we were on our second date.”

“Yeah…” John nods as he looks at you.

You shrug a little, holding his gaze, “Do you…do you ever wanna talk about him or anything?”

John rubs his right hand over your back as he smiles, then he looks out at the sun, “Not really, but not because I don’t want to tell you anything. I just…don’t really know where to start.”

“I get that,” you scoot closer to him and smile, “But you could start anywhere. I just like hearing you talk about your past because I feel like sometimes it makes you feel a little better. I know there’s still some part of you that worries I’m going to leave when I learn certain things, but I never would. I don’t know if you know it or not, but…I’m kinda obsessed with you, so I’m not going anywhere.”

“Kinda obsessed with you too.” he smiles, leaning over to kiss your forehead. He inhales deeply as he looks at you, then he rubs his thumb over your cheek, “I know he’d have loved you. He’d like how you put me in my place every now and again.”

You laugh quietly, nudging his stomach, “Gotta keep you in line, Mr. Wick.”

“He’d be happy to know I settled down again.” he says, nodding his head, “He told me that I’d find my way back to that life I had, and I did. It just got a little better when I found it the second time.”

“Me?”

John laughs as he nods, “Yes, of course you, sweetheart.”

The two of you look out at the sun rising as you listen to the waves crashing against the beach, and you lean over to rest your head on John’s shoulder. You close your eyes as he wraps his arm around your waist and rubs your back, and you smile when he kisses the top of your head.

“What do you think you’d be doing if we hadn’t met?” you ask, looking up at John, “Still working?”

“I don’t know,” John answers, then he looks over at you, “Maybe, but probably not very often. I am old.”

You laugh as you nudge his shoulder, “No, you’re not!”

John chuckles and gives you a wink before he looks back out at the ocean, “I don’t know what I’d be doing. Probably trying to just…live a normal life, but I’d be lonely; I wouldn’t have you.”

“I’d like to think you’d have met someone.” you shrug and inhale deeply, “Maybe someone around your age who you’d get along with. Maybe she’d have kids of her own from a previous marriage, but you wouldn’t mind. You’d like being with her since she’s around your age and you just get along. The two of you don’t get married because you’re still a little broken from losing Helen, and she’s cautious because of her previous marriage -- he fucked her over. The two of you are together for a few years before you ask if she’d like to move in with you, and she says yes. You’re happy and content, and so she is.”

“You…put a bit a thought into this.”

You laugh as you look up at him, “Nah, I just came up with it.”

John laughs as he shakes his head, “I don’t think I’d be with anyone at all. I didn’t really plan on being with anyone else. I went out on dates, but I wasn’t looking to settle down again. Not until I met you.”

A smile spreads across your face when John reaches for your hand and rubs his finger over your ring, then you look up at him and smile as he continues.

“I went out on dates to pacify Jimmy and to get him off my back, but it was never my intention to meet someone to spend my life with.” he says, shaking his head before he looks at you, “But when I walked outside and saw you that day, everything changed. I tried so hard to work up the courage to introduce myself to you at the bookshop, but fuck, you scared me.”

You laugh, “Me? You were scared of me? I can’t ever get over that.”

“You scared the absolute shit out of me because when I looked at you…” John laughs as he looks at you, “I felt something I hadn’t ever felt before.”

“Is that a good thing?”

John nods his head and smiles, “It’s a great thing. I just wanted to be the perfect man for you, the perfect husband and dad, and I just wanted to make you so happy.”

“You do make me happy.” you lean up to kiss him, lingering above his lips for a moment, “You’re an amazing husband, and you’ll be a great dad!”

“I wouldn’t have dated again if it weren’t for you, I truly believe that.” he whispers, and you smile as you look up at him as he gazes at you adoringly, “You’re the only one who I want, you’re the only one I could ever imagine being with.”

You tilt your head back and smile, “I’m glad that we met.”

“Me too,” he smiles, leaning down to kiss you. “What about you? What would have happened to you if we hadn’t met?”

You hum as you look out at the ocean, then you inhale and shrug, “Well, I’d probably still be working at the bookshop, but if we hadn’t met, you wouldn’t have bought it and it would have closed. So, I’d probably have gotten a job in Oyster Bay somewhere. I guess I might have met someone, but I don’t think I’d be married at this point. To be honest, I wasn’t really ready to date either when we met, but…”

John smiles, “You felt the same as me when we met?”

“Yeah,” you furrow your brow and laugh when you realize, “Yeah, it was like I just looked at you and saw the man who was going to change my life. So, if we hadn’t met, I think I’d maybe be seeing someone, but I wouldn’t be happy. Not like I am now. Not like I am with you.”

“Jimmy and Tess wouldn’t have met either, and we wouldn’t have our cute nephew.” John says, and you nod. “Wanna know what I think you’d be doing if we hadn’t met?”

You laugh as you nod, “Of course. I mean, I offered up a whole life for you.”

“You’d still work at the shop because I would have taken over it either way, but you’d hate me because I’d schedule you to work all the time just so I could see you. You’d probably tell whoever you were seeing that you hated your boss and you wanted to quit, but I’d nearly beg you to stay.” he says, and you start to smile. “You’d be happy with someone, and he’d treat you good, but then something would change for you one night when I ask you to stay behind and help me restock the shelves.”

You gasp, leaning in for more, “What?”

John chuckles, “You’d look at me differently. You’d realize that you were in love with me.”

Scoffing loudly, you playfully shove John, then you pull him to sit back up, “So, you think that no matter what, we would have found our way to one another?”

“Absolutely.” John nods as he wraps his arm around you, “There’s no way I wasn’t meant to be yours.”

You hold John’s gaze for a moment as you tear up, then you laugh almost in embarrassment, “God, that was so sweet. I think I was always meant to be yours too.”

Holding you tight in his arms, John looks back out at the sun that’s slowly rising higher, then he leans down to kiss the top of your head when you scoot closer to him.

This past week has been absolutely amazing with John, and you’re pretty sad that it has to end. You wish you could stay longer, and the two of you even talked about staying an extra few days, but with so many holidays coming up, it’s best that you get home so the employees can take some time off.

You tilt your head back to look at John, then you lick your lips as he leans down to kiss you. You get up to sit between his legs, then you lean against him and watch the sunrise one last time.

__

Walking into your room, you put your suitcase on the bed and open it, then you head into the bathroom to make sure you get all of your toiletries. John is folding a pair of jeans when you come out of the bathroom, and he gives you a smile when you look at him.

“You’re quiet, peach.”

Letting out a small laugh, you nod your head, then you shrug, “Yeah, sorry, just thinking about stuff. Wondering how much food has gone bad in the past week at home. We’ll need to go grocery shopping. Also I was thinking about this the other night, our pool is heated, right?”

“Yeah,” John nods, still keeping his gaze down on his folding, “I’ve never used it in the fall and winter though. This was the first time I’ve used our pool. Why?”

“Well, I was thinking that maybe we should get a thingy…you know, one of those things that goes over the pool.” you wave your hand back and forth as you try to find the word, then you snap your fingers, “Like a hard pool covering. If we have a baby, we need to get a cover on that pool. They could fall in the pool and drown, or fall in and crack their head open if there’s no water in it.”

John looks up at you and widens his eyes, “Baby, I know you hate this, but calm down. Take a few steps back.”

“Sorry,” you close your eyes and sigh, “I’m spiraling.”

Walking over to you, John sits down on the bed and reaches for your hands, “What’s going on?”

“I’m just overthinking and getting in my head.” you say, then you shrug, “Our house is like one big massive deathtrap.”

John laughs as he pulls you between his legs, “It’s not, baby. We’ll get the baby gates all set up before the baby is here, and then we’ll make sure that we get those rubber caps for sharp table corners.”

“I don’t know why I’m worrying. I’m not pregnant.” you say, sitting down in John’s lap, “I’m still not pregnant.”

Cupping your face, John leans up to kiss you, “Well, it’s not like we didn’t try this past week.”

You chuckle as John tickles the crook of your neck with his beard, then you lean back to look at him, “Thanks for this past week, it’s been an absolute dream.”

“It’s been a great week.” John whispers, holding your gaze as he moves his hand up your thigh. He cocks his eyebrow up and smirks, “One last time while we’re here?”

You laugh as you get up and move your suitcase, then you lay down on your back, pulling John on top of you, “One last time.”

__

The flight back home hasn’t been too bad, and you’re just sitting in your seat trying to do a wordsearch while John takes a nap. He’s back in the bedroom, but you’re sitting in your seat and looking out the window as the clouds pass by. You should be home shortly, maybe another hour and a half, and you’re feeling a little sad about going home.

You sniffle quietly as you look out the window, then you look over your shoulder when you hear the bedroom door open. John rubs the sleep from his eyes as he shuffles out to you, and you quickly wipe away the tear on your cheek.

“Not so fast,” John says, immediately perking up and sitting down next to you, “Are you okay?”

“I am,” you nod as you look at him, and he reaches over to rub his thumb over your chin, “I’m just sad that we’re going home.”

John furrows his brow a little, “You weren’t sad a little bit ago, you were excited to go home and see everyone.”

Taking a deep breath, you look up at John and exhale, “I’m just worried about going home, and the honeymoon is over, so…”

Nodding his head, John shifts in his seat and leans his elbows on his knees, “You know how you always get upset with me when I say I don’t deserve you or good things?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “That’s because you say it all the time, and it makes me sad that you don’t see yourself like I see you.”

John cocks up his eyebrow as he looks at you, and you nod as he reaches over for your hand, “I know you’re worried about the honeymoon fading, but it’s not going to. I’m crazy about you, and that won’t change.

“I always get like this when we’re leaving from vacation. I know we’ve only been on two, but I was like this when we went home from Italy too. When you go on vacation, you spend a week in this…fantasy world. There’s nothing around to spoil it, no responsibilities, no one around to bother you. Just me and you. You kind of forget that the rest of the world exists. You just want to live in that, in your happy little bubble. But coming home, that can all change. Things get in the way, jobs become your main focus again…”

“Baby,” John grips your hand tighter and shakes his head, “I am so sorry that someone in your past made you feel like you weren’t good enough, like you’re going to be tossed aside after a few months, but I promise you that that will not happen with me.”

You nod tearfully as you look at him, “I know. Trust me, I know that, but sometimes I just…”

“Get in your head.” John nods, then he lets out a small laugh, “Can’t say I’m not the same way.”

Reaching over, you place your hand on John’s cheek and give him a soft smile, “I know you love me, and I’ve never felt more confident about something in my life. I just worry sometimes, and when I do, you’re always there to give me a pep talk.”

“Always.” John leans over to kiss you, then he looks down at your wedding ring, “And I’m happy to do it -- I really am. This past week has been so amazing with you, but I can’t wait to get home and love on you there.”

You laugh quietly as you blush, squirming a little under John’s gaze, “Love on me?”

“Yeah,” he nods, leaning over to kiss your cheek repeatedly while he hums loudly, “Lovin’ on you every day for the rest of my life.”

You wrap your arms around John’s neck and close your eyes, leaning your forehead against his, “Thanks for being my best friend, John.”

“Thanks for being mine.” he whispers, leaving a kiss on your forehead.

__

Even though you were sad to leave your honeymoon, you’re so excited to finally be able to sleep in your own bed again. You called Tess the moment you landed, and the two of you planned to have a girls night while John and Jimmy watched some game on TV that Jimmy has been looking forward to. Finn is with his grandparents for tonight, so Tess is a little more than happy to be able to be kid-free.

You’re just relaxing for now until you go over there, and you’re unpacking your bags so you can wash your clothes -- somehow you not only packed your clothes, but you apparently packed sand. You watch as sand falls out of the pocket of a pair of shorts, and you reach in to find a seashell tucked into it.

“Did you do this?” you ask, holding up the seashell when John comes out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist.

John furrows his brow as he walks closer, then he laughs, “Oh, yeah, I stuffed sand--”

You watch as John widens his eyes and grins, and you roll your eyes, “Oh, I’m well aware that you stuffed sand in my pockets.”

Moving back to your suitcase, you hum to yourself while John gets dressed, and you smile when he walks over to kiss you. Sighing a little, you sit down on the bed and hold up your swimsuit -- you really miss the beach already.

“What are you and Tess doing tonight?” he asks, walking off to the bathroom to brush his hair.

“Uh, she just wants to hear about our honeymoon, so we’ll probably just chat.” you shrug, looking up at John as he comes out brushing his teeth, “I’m sure she’ll tell me about the shop and what everyone was up to while we were gone.”

John nods, “Yeah, Jimmy and I are watching some game, I guess.”

“I miss Bleu. I can’t wait to see him in a bit.” you smile as John nods, “He’s gonna piss everywhere when he sees you.”

“I miss him,” John laughs, then he walks into the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth, “Are you going to shower?”

You stop just as you grab your towel, and you hold it up when John comes out of the bathroom, “I was just about to hop in after throwing some laundry in.”

“I’ll do it for you.” John smiles, leaning down to kiss you, then he pats your ass as you laugh. “I think I’m gonna head over to Jimmy’s a little early. Maybe after I throw these clothes in.”

Tilting your head back, you smile at John, “You miss your baby, I get it. I’ll meet you over there after my shower.”

“See you in a bit.” he says softly, leaning down for another kiss, “Love you.”

You smile as you watch John walk out of the room with a bit of pep in his step since he’s gonna be seeing Bleu, then you laugh and turn around, “Love you!”

__

After being on vacation for the past week, you’ve kind of forgot how cold New York is. You planned on just wearing a t-shirt and jeans, but as soon as you step onto the front porch, you turn around and grab your sweater.

Mill Neck is always so beautiful in the fall since the trees have such a great variety of colors, and you gasp a little when you remember the annual apple festival should be soon.

You open the door to Tess’ house and smile, expecting them to be in the living room, but it’s empty. You take off your shoes and set them aside, then you head downstairs when you hear laughter. Once you turn the corner, Tess hops up and squeals as she runs over to hug you.

“Hi! Hi!” she hugs you tight and rocks you back and forth, “How are you? How was your trip? Oh, my god, did you get even more gorgeous while you were gone?”

You laugh as you put your hand out to slow Tess down, then you set the gift bag aside and hug her again, “Hi, I’m good. Our trip was amazing, and no, I don’t think I got any more ‘gorgeous’ while I was gone.”

“Disagree.” John says, and you stick your tongue out at him.

“John, on the other hand, look how tan he got.” you laugh as you poke his arm, “He’s got so many freckles from the sun.”

Tess pulls you to the couch and smiles, “Tell us about your trip. John hasn’t said anything this whole time because he knew you’d want to tell me.”

You sit down next to John and smile, “It was so good. Our little house was so cute and sweet. Our bed was positioned so that we could literally watch the sunset from our bed, but we didn’t -- we went out to the beach every night and watched it. The first day there was so good, we just hung out obviously.”

“The second day was rough.” John jokes, and you laugh as you nod. “This one was hungover like no one’s business. She shot up in bed and ran to the bathroom, so I followed behind her because I just knew. Got her back in bed, then…well, it was my turn.”

You laugh as you reach up and pat his cheek, “Poor thing. I’ve never seen John sick before. We just took turns throwing up all day. One after the other.”

“It was a good trip though, right?” Tess asks, and she cocks up her eyebrow a little.

John wrap his arms around you and hugs you tight, “It was a great trip.”

“We got you two some things!” you say, grabbing the gift bag and handing it to Tess.

You watch as Jimmy and her look through the bag, and he laughs and reaches over to high five John when he sees the bottle of Caribbean rum. Tess furrows her brow when she pulls out two bottles of hot sauce, then she looks up at you.

“Ooh! Turks and Caicos hot sauce.” you close your eyes and smile, “So good. John grilled some chicken for us one night, and we put some hot sauce on it. So fucking good. John had heartburn after, but it’s so good.”

Tess laughs as she looks at John, “Did she tell you to lay on your left side?”

“Yeah,” he nods, ruffling your hair, “Barely got the sentence out and she told me to lay on my side.”

“And it worked, didn’t it? Your heartburn went away.” you say, and John nods. “Exactly. Works every time.”

Tess holds up a little box and smiles when she pops it open to find a necklace with a little camera pendant on it, “Oh, my god. This is so cute. Thank you.”

“We wanted to get everyone something; there’s a cute little onesie in there for Finn too.” you say, then you look over at John as he gets off the couch. You lean up to kiss him before him and Jimmy head upstairs, and he leans down to kiss you again.

“I love you,” he whispers as he holds your gaze.

You nod, leaning up to kiss him again, “I love you too.”

Tess smiles when you look at her, then she looks at Jimmy, “Let us know when the pizza is here.”

“Will do, babe.”

You look over at Tess as the boys head upstairs, and you smile when she moves closer to sit next to you on the couch. She wraps her arms around you and hugs you tight, leaning her head against yours.

“I missed you so much, babe!”

“I missed you too.” you laugh, looking over at her, “We definitely have to go there sometime. Our house was pretty small, and it only had one bedroom, but there was another house right next door that was empty. The beach was so beautiful, and god, I just didn’t even want to come home.”

Tess smiles, “So, you two have a good honeymoon?”

“We did. We made a lot of memories. Our first day there,” you widen your eyes and smile, then you lean closer to whisper, “We had sex on the beach.”

“Shut up!” Tess squeals, then she leans closer for more details.

You laugh and shake your head, “I was surprised by how much I loved it -- not the sex, obviously, just the whole ‘on the beach’ part. I figured I’d hate it because sand would be everywhere, but it wasn’t. John and I drank way too much, both took way too many shots of tequila, but we laughed and danced the whole night in our house, then we both passed out.”

“What else did you two do?”

“Uh, well, day two sucked so we just laid in bed and watched TV. The next day we were both feeling better, so we decided to explore a bit. We grabbed some lunch at this beachside restaurant, but the only problem with going to an island is that they mostly serve seafood, but they did have plenty of chicken and pasta too. Oh, and everything is spicy, so John was in heaven. We went paddleboarding, which was…hilarious because John fell about ten times, and I was worried about sharks the whole time.”

Tess laughs loudly and looks at you, “Well, you’re home in one piece.”

“Yeah, no shark bites.” you laugh, then you inhale deeply, thinking about what else you and John did, “We went mini golfing one day, we went to this little island that was locally known as Iguana Island -- that was fun. Iguanas all over.”

“It sounds like you had a lot of fun.”

You nod as you look at her, “We did. We made so many good memories and had so many good laughs. I’m still bummed that it’s over. We just had so much fun there, and we were just in our little bubble.”

Tess nods, then she turns to face you more, “I won’t lie, I was worried about the honeymoon fading once Jimmy and I got home, but that didn’t happen at all. Whoever says that that’s a real thing is full of shit. Obviously it was different for Jimmy and I because when we got home, we were expecting a baby, but now you and John are going to be trying for a baby.”

“Yeah,” you sigh, then you let out a small laugh, “John already gave me a pep talk about it when he realized I was crying on the flight home. I know he’s crazy about me, and I’m just as crazy about him, but I still worry.”

“I get it.” she nods, then she smiles when you look up at her, “Do you think you got pregnant?”

You smile and shrug, “I have no idea, but we had sex every day, well except for the day we were sick. We’re seriously trying, so fingers crossed. I mean, John and I are already pretty sexual but now that we’re trying to have a baby, it’s…crazy.”

Tess laughs, “Well, trying is half the fun, right?”

“Pizza’s here!” Jimmy yells, and you and Tess both head upstairs.

Gasping loudly, you lean down and hug Bleu when he runs over to you, and he licks your face non-stop until John pulls him off of you. His tail is wagging so fast that his whole body is shaking, and he leans up to lick John’s face.

“He missed his mom.” John laughs, and you lean over to kiss Bleu’s snout again. You lean down to pet Sadie, then you walk over and sit next to John on the couch.

Taking a bite of your pizza, you sit back and listen while John tells Tess about how drunk you got on your second day, and you playfully roll your eyes when he looks at you.

“It was nice to see her so carefree and relaxed after those two weeks we had with my lab results. She was dancing around and laughing non-stop,” John laughs, nudging your chin, “It was very cute.”

“Okay, you’re one to talk.” you point at John as you look at Tess, “He gets so giggly when he’s drunk. Oh, and corny! Like ten times worse than he already is! He was so smiley and giggly, and we danced and laughed all night. We had a lot of fun. Made lots of memories.”

John takes a bite of his pizza and laughs, “I think it’s safe to say we won’t be drinking for a while though.”

“Oh, definitely not.” you shake your head and widen your eyes, “No drinks for me any time soon.”

Jimmy opens a bottle of hot sauce and sprinkles some onto his pizza, then he takes a big bite and nods his head, “So good.”

“I think we should all go back there sometime. Maybe a family vacation next summer or something. I mean, it’s always nice there, so I guess it doesn’t matter when we go.” you shrug, and Tess smiles.

Tess clears her throat a little and gestures to you and John, “You two probably fucked each other’s brains out, so think you made a baby, John?”

John nearly chokes on his pizza, and he pats his chest a little as he coughs, “I wasn’t expecting you to say that.”

“She’s Tess, what else would you expect?” you laugh as you look at her, “I don’t know, but we’re hopeful. If it doesn’t happen, we’ll just keep trying. No pressure on us. ”

“No pressure at all.” John smiles as he moves your hair away from your face, “We both know how much we want a baby, but we’re not going to get stressed out about it. It’s going to happen when it’s meant to.”

You smile as you look up at John, “Exactly.”

Taking a deep breath, John looks over at you and cocks up his eyebrow, almost like he knows something you don’t know. He starts to smirk when you scrunch your eyebrows and look at him, then he lets out a small laugh.

“What?”

“Nothing.” John laughs, taking a bite of his pizza, “You just promised me something when we got home, and tonight is the perfect night for it.”

You look over at Tess and scrunch your eyebrows more, trying to remember what you promised him, then you look back at John and laugh, “Sex?”

“Nope.” John shakes his head and smiles. “It’s something all of us can do. Actually Jimmy’s wanted to do it for a long time.”

Jimmy perks up a little and smiles, “Wait a minute…”

Looking over at John, you shake your head as you laugh, “Whatever promises I made while I was drunk do not count.”

“I knew you’d say that, which is why I made you sign a piece of paper.” he laughs, taking out his wallet to show you. He unfolds a blue piece of paper and holds it up to read, “I, Y/N Wick, promise to let my husband, John Wick, take me out driving.”

“Oh, shut up!” you grab the paper and laugh loudly when you see your signature in black pen.

John smiles when you look at him, “Your cute little signature right there. You promised, baby.”

Groaning loudly, you jokingly slap the piece of paper on John’s chest and sigh, “Fine! Fine, we’ll go.”

“This is gonna be fucking awesome.” Jimmy laughs, and you playfully glare at John as he smiles.

__

Even though you trust John more than literally anyone in this world, you’re beyond nervous to actually go driving with him. Of course you won’t be driving, but you’re still so fucking nervous. John is an amazing driver, and he always makes sure to keep it at a good speed when you’re in the car with him, but you have to admit that you’re a little scared.

John looks over at you and smiles as he reaches for your hand, squeezing it a little as he pulls into the airport parking lot. The sun is beginning to go down, so you’re sure you won’t be here too long. Thankfully.

“Can I just watch a few times first?” you ask, and John nods his head and smiles. You lean over to kiss John’s cheek, then you get out of the car and stand back a little, and you smile when Tess gets out too.

“I’ll stay with you.”

You give John a small wave as he drives away, then you bite your lip nervously as he revs his engine and quickly speeds away. Exhaling quietly, you look over at Tess to see her with a huge smile on her face as she watches John whip his car in every direction, and you look over and laugh when Jimmy yells loudly.

“I’m nervous.”

“Don’t be.” Tess laughs, then she gestures to John’s car, “He’s a good driver, he wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

You nod as you take a deep breath, “I know, and I trust John. It’s not that I don’t trust him, it’s that you can lose control at any given moment that scares me.”

John pulls up in front of you and smiles, “Ready, baby?”

“Maybe you should go one more time.” you say, gesturing for Tess to get it.

“Oh, sure, let him kill me first, right?” Tess jokes, then she reaches out and nudges your shoulder when you look at her in horror, “I’ll be fine!”

John smiles as Tess gets in the backseat, then he looks over at you and reaches out for your hand, “She’ll be fine.”

You give John a smile as he begins to drive away, and you keep your eyes laser focused on his car as he swerves and spins around the lot. You smile when you hear Tess and Jimmy both laughing loudly, and you almost feel a little excitement to try it out yourself.

John’s tires skid across the cement as he swerves around an orange cone, and he revs his engine and speeds down to the edge of the lot where he quickly pulls a 360 and turns around. He playfully taps the horn as he drives back over to you, and you shake your head and laugh when he smiles at you.

Pulling up in front of you, John smiles and looks over at Tess as she moves her hair away from her face and laughs loudly, then he looks at you and raises his eyebrows.

“Ready now?”

“I think so.” you say quietly as you pick at your nails nervously.

John opens his car door and moves the seat so you can get in the back with Tess, then he looks at you as you walk closer to him. He places his hands on your waist and smiles tenderly at you before rubbing his thumb over your cheek and leaning down to kiss you.

“You’ll be fine, baby. I won’t let anything happen to you.” he whispers as you lean your head against his chest, then he rubs your back and watches as you get in the car. He gets back in and looks at you in the rearview mirror and smiles, “You’re gonna love this. I’ll take it slow.”

You feel Tess reach over for your hand as she smiles, and you look up at John through the rearview mirror to watch his face. The moment something goes wrong, you’ll know since you can read John’s face pretty well. He furrows his brow a little as he steps harder on the gas, and you immediately bury your face in your hands as Jimmy and Tess scream loudly with laughter.

“Hell yeah!” Jimmy screams when John goes a 360, and you hear John laugh.

The air smells of burnt rubber as John peels through the lot, and it jerks you around the backseat even though you’re wearing a seatbelt. You realize that you’re starting to laugh so you sit up a little and look at Tess as she laughs and smiles at you.

John finally stops the car and sits up to check on you, “You good?”

“I’m so fucking dizzy.” you laugh, and you smile when John reaches back for your hand. “But I won’t lie, it was a little fun.”

“Do another 360, man.” Jimmy says, and John looks at you in the rearview mirror for permission.

You look down to make sure your seatbelt is still on, then you laugh as you look up at John again, “Let’s go.”

__

taglist: @callmeglenncoco | @ficsnroses | @tnu-ree | @keanureevesisbae | @cheekybluefox | @hylianhbu | @tea-time-fun-posts | @star017 | @jessicajones616 | @sweetgoodangel | @aragornswife | @wheretheriversrunintothesea​

[autumnpleaves]

can you tell me about your friends? -C (you dont have to)

Ooh! Sure, C! No problem! Hmm, since it doesn’t really specify which ‘friends’ you’re talking about, I’m going to talk about IRL and online ones! XD 

This is gonna be a long one, but only because I love, appreciate, and care for my friends :) 

So let’s start with my... 

IRL friends ^-^

I won’t be using their ‘real names’ so... meh. 

First up we have Eggen! :) 

She’s such a joy to be around (no this is not sarcastic). She has this weird fluctuating emotions sometimes and it’s scary to deal with (but not as scary as Jessie-). Funny story about how we actually met was that we had this conjoining class in Ext. Maths and she was from another class. I was still a new student then, so I wasn’t really familiar with anyone and my friends from *my* class were in Ext. Maths too, and were friends with Eggen, hence we all had this weird group thingy at one portion of the classroom and we hung out together. 

Now see, here, we weren’t really *friends* then. More like acquaintances XD 

BUT- 

I texted her because I saw in her profile, that she was a *HUFFLEPUFF* (which is different now, because it didn’t fit anymore- She’s a slytherin now :)) and I texted her saying “OH MY GOSH! YOU’RE A HUFFLEPUFF TOO?!!” I was a dork. It was stupid. And she replied “Haha, yeah...” and lemme tell you, I’m surprised why she’s still my friend to this day XD 

She’s improved a lot since then, and I am honestly quite frankly really *really* proud of her. She’s grown a lot (literally, coz she’s short and metaphorically, coz she’s so talented and skilled and smart now! [Not that she wasn’t smart before, just saying, definitely you can see progress]) She’s talented in drawing, ballet, has great ideas, really hard working, productive, one of the most inspirational person I know :) I’m glad to call her my friend :D 

(Only I get to call her Eggen though 0-0 ANyONe else who dares, will get a smack from me-) ALSO did I mention she likes to torture people by throwing her erasers at them? It’s funnnn memories :’) 

Next up we haveeeee Lizze!!

Lizze now this one, I didn’t meet until like... at least a year after Eggen. Honestly. Don’t judge me, our school is biiggggggg. She had long hair then. At first I see her here and there, and it was pretty chill. Nothing too... ya know- friendsy just like oh yeah I recognize you. We were in the same scholarship program! So that was fun! :) 

We didn’t officially properly meet until like a year after though, and well let’s just say it was fun. She’s one of the only friends I was able to rope into watching Sanders Sides with me and is also a huge geek nerd XD  She’s ALSO REALLY REALLY HECKING TALENTED IN WRITING?! LIke WHAT?! WHo even?! 

Yeah, such a great friend. She’s one of the people I go to when in need of any writing advice, or just advice in general! She really gives that second opinion and really takes things into account and I’m really just plain glad to call her my friend. I love her so much and like we would discuss and hang out sometimes on VC late into the night and it’d be funny watching her trying to navigate around her messy room :’) Ahh! Fun times XD 

Then we have... NICO!! :) 

Nico... was my first ever friend. Literally. In the new school. I’m gonna lay down the scenario XD

I walked into class on orientation day, not aa lot of students were there yet, I was early (for once). Nico was sitting on the left side of a table (we had two student tables) two rows from the back, near the windows. I walked in and was like Hm. Where should I sit? So I Decided that I wasn’t gonna be a wimp and decided to walk and sit next to Nico. He was also surprisingly a new student, so we kinda like related for a bit XD 

Flashforward and Nico is one of my close friends? I mean he’s there and he’s fun to hang out with XD (I don’t do labels, sorry XD) We would joke around, play around, and he’s just a great fella all around! It’s just sometimes people might make fun of him and he’d get insecure sometimes, which makes me sad and yeah! Favorite memories with him would always be in Ext. Math. We’ve landed in the same class (coz we switch around every year) like twice and everytime it’d be the same! And well every time in Math I would ‘show off’ my amazing math skills and he’d try to compete with me. It was fun every time. *dreamy sigh* 

I miss the competitions really. We’d compete to see who would finish first, who would do what part, and when either of us are confused we would annoy the other to get the answer XD I miss him :’) 

Then we get... JILL! :D 

Jill was another friend I met in my first year at the school. At first, she used to hang out with this other friend because they were stuck to each other since like primary, but slowly they drifted (which in my opinion might be for the best 😬) 

She’s an otaku. A pure bred otaku. I had to deal with her anime fanatic years for like... 3 years and counting now. Why. But she’s wonderful and drawing and would always have this bad habit of drawing on anything and literally whatever surface she finds. The desk, her notebooks, her test papers, her *SKIN*, *MY* skin, her WATER BOTTLE (like what THE HECK- JILL?!) but like, it’s endearing XD 

She’s great at complaining and hates hugs. She also hates mangoes- (If you remember what my catchphrase was? Yeah the, “GUESS WHAT? JILL HATES MANGOES” yeah it’s this Jill XD) I’m not joking. She’s great at complaining XD 

Funny story is that once we had to do this video project thing and we just had Jill complain about the amount of homework we had to like compare stuff and what not, and she did it. IN ONE BREATH. NO HESITATIONS. NO SCRIPT. ONE TAKE. WE were all DYING after that XDDD Coz she’s literally known as a complainer and she has great logic skills. She also really LOVES money... so... i mean... yeah. She’s really like... conservative with her money but isn’t afraid to use it to spoil others, but not herself XD 

Finally but not the last (I got more friends, but I don’t really... connect with them enough?) is BEEP! (no this is not her actual name, I just don’t really call her by her real name much) 

The OG friend from first day of school! Nico? YEah Step ASIDE BRO! XDD This gal is my go-to cuddle buddy. LIterally. Our moms are kinda like... besties? (*shrugs* it’s complicated) so we kinda do a lot of things together XD We go to gym together, go to places together, road trip together. She’s a joy to be around. She is like the cuddliest and well usually she does get teased about for being fluffy but like that’s the best part about her 🥺. Her mom is also really picky about her appearance which as her friends, we were pretty annoyed by it, but I love her the way she is :) 

First day of school and she walked by and asked to sit next to me. I said yes, without looking at her, coz I was *shy* (shush). Then we had an ice-breaker thing and LMAO guess what we bonded on- 

FRICKING HARRY STYLES AND WATTPAD- (look, if you’ve been on wattpad, you’d know that Harry Styles stories on there is never really... safe. in a sense.) SO, we’d immediately bonded over that and literally the rest of the day was history. We’d go through class everyday together and it would be a blast, OF COURSE she had other friends and I had mine, we weren’t really in the same ‘stereotypical’ group (like she has the more... *mean girls* kinda group [I’M NOT SAYING SHE’S MEAN! But, I’m saying that they have the popular group- yeah there that XD]) 

I had my own group but we hang anyways because it’s fun. She has the most beautiful laugh, like... literally the loudest and beautiful-est laugh ever XD We have so many inside jokes. She’d hold on to them and start laughing randomly XD She cries a lot when she laughs so that always spurs us to continue laughing, gosh damn it, I miss her. I’m smiling so hard writing this. 

XDD

Aight! That’s from my IRL friends! 

Next we have my online friends! :DDD

First up, we have YAWN! :D

Yawn is quite frankly, the first person I ever actually connected to on Tumblr here XD 

I’ve been through tens and hundreds of discord servers, jumped in tumblr group chats, and no where have I ever met anyone as wonderful as Yawn. Literally. 

I would say we pretty much clicked and when *she* (look I asked okay. they said yes to all pronouns so- >:3 I’m going to have fun with it XD) expressed xeir love for PUNS of all things, literally, I was shooketh. SO I LITERALLY SPAMMED HIM WITH ALL THE PUNS I COULD THINK OF- ANd then HE LITErally PropOSEd- XDDD I don’t know man. It’s amazing :’) I don’t know how I got this lucky. 

Yawn is like that refreshing giddiness you have as a child when you see a new toy or something. Yeah that’s Yawn. Literally every time we text it’s just so damn wholesome and so fun and it’s great! We’d talk about the most random things ever and it’d be amazing :))

Hhhhhhhhhhh, I’m just so damn proud of zem. LIke. Literally. Xir has come so far, and like... we haven’t really met for long yet but I just care about xir sooooooooooooooo much. It has always been there for me and I’m just so appreciative of it. We have so many- *WHEEZE* inside jokes- XDDD 

One I can think of is literally “I run you, Shakespeare” and it’s HILARIou- XDDDDDDDDDDDD

I can’t- It’s beautiful XD 

I just can’t believe that our friendship literally started with me just sucking up my anxiety and just texting people stuff and I honestly don’t know how it continued from there- XD 

They are the most accepting person I know. Genuinely. I don’t know where I’d be without them :’) 

Next we have... VOMMY! :DDD Or C-Gal... We gotta bring that nickname back XD 

First of all, we met in a Fander Pride Meet Up server. VOmmy CAN SPEAK DUTCH and is SOO CREATIve and SO FRIckING Hard WOrking and such an inspiration. Always greets us and is always down for hugs and cuddles XD 

Such a great tea friend, and has like the best aesthetic ever- literally. So old and vintage like a vintage mom and always down to talk about stuff! Ze is soooooo smart as well! And would infodump sometimes when ze’s not busy about stuff that I absolutely adore and love to hear about! Honestly the best vommy ever and ze has PLANTS like- *Woooooooooo!* 

We met vommy and literally we can always geek out with zem. Sometimes life gets hard and we need to scream it out every now and then, and vommy would be there :))) 

I am so proud of zem and just so damn happy to call zem my friend uwu 

ALSO HAVE I MENTIONED THAT ZE CAN SING AND PLAY THE UKE AND WRITE SONGS LIKE WHAT THE HECK THAT’S EPIC AH

Then we haveeeeee... STARBURST! OR BOB THE BUILDER!

ANOTHER friendo we met in the Fander Pride Meet Up Server (seriously a lot of cool friendos there). One of the best advice givers and the most caring older sibling ever. Literally. Like I can’t stress this enough. He’s such a great cousin duck and just a great listener friendo ever. 

Such a fricking talented writer and MUSICIAN AND FRICKING ARTIST LITERALLY THE WHOLE SHEBANG IT’s RIDICulOUS 

I’m literally so proud of him. It’s crazy. He’s always been there for us, all of us. And is there to provide hugs and arms to cry on. ALSO HAVE I EVER MENTIONED HOW BEAUTIFUL HE IS??! LIKE WHAT THE HECK- AHhhhhHHHHHH

SO BEAUTIFUl- and PRETTY and GORGEOUS 

Next we haveeeeeee- POPPY the POPTART! :D 

First time we met in the Fander Pride Meetup, I may of may not have offended them. 0-0 

woops. 

I still feel really bad about that honestly. Uhhh, anyways, I won’t go too in depth on that. BUT ANYWAYS- 

THEy Have been such a WONDERFUL presence in my life. LIterally. LIke They have such an cheerful vibe ever and would never fail to make me laugh or like coo or like anything coz they are soooo ADORABLE! They are also like really great cuddler and hugger and sooooo sooooo sooooo handsome :DD

Sure there are rough patches in their lives, but I adore them and am sooo sooo soo proud of them for being able to go through it and still come out with their heads high and just so damn happy that they will not give up that easily. I really admire their strength, and we are always there to support if they need help :) 

Also, go check out @/poptartsaysurloved pinned post. See if anyone is willing or can help! :) 

Next we have... ATLAS! Or LAssie as I like to call him XD

He’s one of the screaming cereal that I most definitely did not meet in the Fander Pride Meet Up and instead in another server and I’m glad to have met him XD 

I don’t know the *exact* thing I texted him, but I definitely remember asking him about something in his status and I most definitely was satisfied with my answer and we just started talking in DMs for a bit, before I invited him in to the screaming cereal bowl server! :D 

IT IS A BLAST 

LITERALLY 

ARSon kid can’t go a day without wanting to blow something up and frankly I’m concerned but such a great friendo

Provider of memes, jokes, laughs, hugs, cuddles, and fun time XD 

I can’t even, it’s crack head moments every time with that lassie XD 

AHHHHHHHHHHHH FINALLY but obviously not the LAST W E HAVE HEDGIE the ShellY HOGGLES

HONESTLY I LOVE THIS GURLY SOHECKING MUCH 

She deals with my bull crap every day kind of and deals with a bunch of my mushy feelingsy moments! I can’t stress enough. Literally Shelly McScotty over here is like the most relatable person ever. Mood all the way and we have like SOO MANY SIMILAR INTERESTS 

IT’s CRAZY! When I first found out that she watches like Unus Annus, Winx Club (SHOOSH IT’S A GOOD SHOW SHUSH) Literally, I’m like this is the best person ever. She’s also knowledgeable in a lot of stuff and is literally like the best person to go to when you need to get like informational stuff

Literally. I would info dump on her and she’d be such a great listener. Fricking Disney and Potterhead GEEK of the decade. HOly heck this lady is the literal embodiment of a disney princess. FIRST OF ALL, PERSONALITY IS THERE. SECOND OF ALL, HER LOOKS! HAVE YOU SEEN? LITERALLY SO DROP DEAD GORGEOUS ON FLEEK MAKEUP! AHHHHHh

I can’t get enough of this dude. Gives great advice and insight on soooo many things and I’m just so glad to have met this gurl. I don’t know how exactly we met, but I’m glad we did. 

MIND YOU most of my friends are either from Tumblr or Discord so XD 

AHHHHHHHHh

Welp! This was a fun! I definitely spent wayyyyyyyyy too long on this thing, but it’s worth it! XD 

Hope you have fun learning about my friends from like a freaking geeking out stand point Canon! :D 

I have a feeling you wouldn’t read through this entire thing, so well... AH! Hope you have a nice day and don’t sleep too late! Tell me about your friends as well! :))  

[calpalirwin]

Endless Endings

Summary: Calum goes home for a funeral. He isn’t prepared for the feelings and memories that come with it.

A/N: I was watching This Is Us and Kevin and Sophie’s relationship gave me the feels (I will fix the formatting/add this to my masterlist in the morning, I just want to get this up cuz I’m excited!) Italics are flashbacks/memories

Content: Darker than my usual stuff

Word Count: 1.9K

And away, and away we go!

~~~

When he saw the caller ID, he was answering it before his ringtone could even kick in. “Zo? Hey, how’s everything?” Calum talked into the phone.

“Hey, Cal,” was the tearful reply.

“Zo, what happened?”

“She died, Cal. My mom. She’s gone.”

The phone clattered to the floor. Calum’s head felt like it was underwater, the worried voices of his bandmates sounding muddled as they tried to reach him. No. Claire Harper couldn’t be dead. Zoey!

His brain snapped back into enough focus for him up the phone, ignoring the jagged crack in the screen. “Hey, I got one for you,” his voice was telling her, his ears still ringing.

“What?” she asked, holding back the next sob.

“He starts an apple cider company. Calls it ‘How do you like them apples?’.”

Her laugh wasn’t the laugh he remembered. It was choked. “Thank you, Cal.”

“Anytime, Zo.”

The voices around him were still muddled as he hung up the phone. “Zo? Zoey Harper? From home? Cal, is she okay?”

“I gotta go home,” was all Calum replied with before walking out of the studio.

~~~

“Hey!” the girl scolded the boy and his stirred up cloud of sand from his jump off the swingset.

“Sorry!” the boy grinned, showing off a missing tooth.

“Watch it,” she continued to growl.

“I said I was sorry!” he told her, crossing his arms, his smile disappearing.

“Ooo!” another boy snickered. “Cal likes Zoey! Cal likes Zoey! Cal and Zoey, sitting in a tree!”

“Shut up!” they both shouted at the other boy before they looked at each other and shared a look of disgust complete with a “Yuck!” and fake gagging.

Calum smiled to himself as he stared out the plane window. It was amazing how easily the memories came back to him. A lifetime of him and Zoey Harper- his first, and only love.

~~~

“And now, Claire’s daughter would like to say a few words,” the pastor said and a young blonde in a sleek black dress moved to the podium.

Her striking green eyes were red around the edges as they scanned the room. A small smile curved on her lips when green met brown. “My mother and I didn’t always see eye to eye. Maybe that’s not something I should say at her funeral, but it’s the truth. She was reckless in everything she did. And as much as it drove me nuts, it also encouraged me to take my own risks. And, uh…” Zoey paused to collect her thoughts, and in the back, Calum let his run wild.

“Oh, Cal, that’s great!” Claire cheered, wrapping him tightly in a hug. “Isn’t that great, Zo? London! Wow!”

“Yeah, great,” Zoey forced a smile. She wanted to be happy for Calum and his band. But how could she when her boyfriend was dropping a bomb like dropping out of school and moving to fucking London?

“Zo,” both Calum and Claire said, frowning.

Zoey scraped her chair back, striding out of the room.

“Zo!” Calum called after her.

“I need a minute!” she yelled and the slamming door rattled the windows.

Calum sighed, letting her go, figuring he might as well start practicing now.

“Hey,” Claire said, reaching across the table to grip his hands in hers. “Don’t let the fear of what’s to come diminish the greatness of this moment, Cal. Allow yourself to be happy in the most unfiltered way. Shout your joy from the rooftops. You boys have worked hard. This is your moment. Never settle.”

“‘Great things happen when you chase after what you want.’ It was like her catchphrase. It’s what she told me when I finally moved to New York and got that dream apartment. She came to visit and we went out for coffee. This real small hole-in-the-wall place. We would always go when she came out or I would send her a bag of their home roast. I was actually… I was in that shop trying to buy a bag. I was giving the clerk hell for not having their home roast. Funny how quickly priorities change with a phone call. God, I owe that clerk an apology,” Zoey’s voice broke off in a small giggle. “I’m gonna miss you, Mom.”

~~~

The bell on the door jangled as he walked in the doughnut shop.

Calum’s laugh rang out around them as she swallowed her bite. “What?” she asked, self-consciously. “Do I have something on my face?”

He continued to snicker in his hand, “Geez, Zo, it’s everywhere!”

“Have you seen your own face?”

“What are you talking about? I do- Zo!” he gasped as her finger swiped the chocolate frosting off his doughnut and smeared it across his cheek.

“Hah!” she laughed at him. Then she was squealing as he rubbed his cheek against her face, creating a powdered sugar chocolatey mess, their giggles filling the small shop. “You’re crazy,” she told him, her cheeks pink with laughter.

“Crazy in love with you,” he replied, pecking her lips with his.

“And I’m just as crazy,” she smiled against his lips.

“What can I get for you, today, sir?” the teenager behind the counter asked.

“One powdered and one chocolate, please,” Calum said. “Actually, two chocolate, please,” he amended as his stomach growled.

~~~

She had a forced smile on her face as she was engaged in a conversation with someone, her eyes begging to be rescued. Calum leaned against the car, not wanting to go inside, feeling so out of place outside somewhere he once considered a home. He dug his phone out of his pocket, watching her as the line rang on his end. Her eyes glanced down at the phone in her own hand, her smile becoming a little more genuine as she answered. “Hey, Cal.” Her voice was heavy and Calum knew instantly that Zoey hadn’t been sleeping for God knows how long.

“Hey. So I was driving and I passed by that doughnut shop we used to frequent. And uh… well, I got one with your name on it. I’m out front.”

Her eyes glanced up and locked on him through the window. She put a hand over the speaker and excused herself from her conversation, walking out of Calum’s view. “Get me out of here,” her voice was saying and then she was in front of him, grabbing the doughnut back from him and sliding into the passenger seat.

~~~

“Hey, I got one for ya,” she said, breaking the silence as they ate their doughnuts, powdered sugar coating her mouth and dress.

“Shoot.”

“He goes to Alaska to become a fisherman in an isolated village and never talks to another soul.”

“Damn, that’s dark,” Calum giggled, handing her a napkin. “Seriously, do you even aim for your mouth when you eat?”

She giggled with him as she dusted off her lap. The giggle turned into a sigh. “I can’t believe you came. I feel like I’m underwater. Like my body is on auto-pilot, while my brain is a million miles away. Seeing you again, well, it grounded me. You’re the only one who gets it Cal. You’re the only one I can let my guard down with.”

“Isn’t that what your fiancé’s for?” he asked with a pointed glance to the ring on her finger.

“He didn’t know her like you did. And now he never will.” Her eyes stared out the window. “Oh, wow,” she breathed, realizing where they were. “I haven’t been here in forever.”

“Me neither,” he admitted, putting the car in park. “Every time I come home, I can never bring myself to come here. I had my best and worst night of my life here.”

“On the same fuckin night,” she recalled.

“On the same fuckin night,” he agreed.

Every summer the park held a Movies in the Park night, showing everything from old-time classics to current blockbusters. Neither of them had seen Good Will Hunting, but had always wanted to. So there they sat, curled up under a blanket and the stars, eyes glued to the large projector screen.

“Aw!” the audience let out a collective groan as the projector sputtered and the screen went black.

“Sorry about this folks! Please help yourself to the concession stand we have set up, free of charge, and we’ll try to get this up and running again shortly,” a volunteer announced.

Calum and Zoey turned to each other, sharing a grin. “Free snacks!” they shouted in each other’s faces before scrambling to snag free popcorn.

“Hmm, looks like they fixed it,” Calum said as they swung side by side. “Should we go back?”

“Nah,” Zoey replied with a shake of her head. “Where it stopped was actually perfect. No ending could be better than that.”

“We could make up our own,” Calum suggested.

“We could!” she exclaimed, loving the idea. “Promise me we’ll never watch the real ending.”

“Promise,” he swore.

So back and forth they went, creating their own endings, long after the real movie had ended and long after the popcorn disappeared. They would have stayed all night and into the morning had it not been for Mali striding towards them, tears running down her face.

“Mali?” Calum asked, his voice laced with worry as his sister looked about a millisecond away from a breakdown. “Mali, what’s wrong?!”

In the dim lighting from a nearby streetlamp, Zoey could see the darkening of his already dark eyes and the clench of his fists as worry gave way to anger that someone had hurt his sister. “Dad’s gone, Cal,” was the broken answer. “Him and Mum got in another fight and he’s… he’s gone!” With the confession off her lips, the older sibling collapsed into the younger one’s arms as they both began to sob over their parents’ broken marriage.

~~~

“Did you ever watch the ending?” she asked as they swung side by side.

Calum shook his head. “Nah. That was probably the only thing I ever did right.”

“Cal, don’t say that…”

“It’s the truth. I had everything that night and then I lost it all before sunrise.”

“Cal, you didn’t lose anything. Yes, your parents split and I know how hard that was for you. But you weren’t running away. You went off to London because you chased a dream. A dream that paid off rather fuckin’ well, by the way.”

“And you?”

“You didn’t lose me either Cal. We just weren’t meant to be.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love a girl the way I loved you…”

“Then love her differently. Love her better.”

“Are you happy? With the endings we created?”

“Are you?” she challenged, knowing he didn’t mean the movie.

He chuckled and pulled out his phone. “Wanna see the real ending?”

“Sure.”

They sat, side by side, the warm sun on their faces, and watched the ending of a movie they swore never to watch the ending of. And it was better than all the endings they could have ever imagined on their own. But still, they both felt a finality to it all, and when Calum dropped her off back home, he wondered if he was better off with his endless imagined endings than the real one.

~~~

Tag List

@goeatsomelife @flameraine @cashtonasff5sos @here-for-the-uproars @cxddlyash @1-irwin-94 @baldcalum @sparkling-chaos @tea4sykes @youngblood199456 @5-seconds-of-obsession

[robininthelabyrinth]

oh my god you're nirejseki and you're taking prompts? ohmigod. ok what to ask for. wait wait. i just finished daredevil s02 and i, unsurprisingly, liked the punisher. because gruff buff grumps who are constantly lowkey in great agony and highkey ready to blow everything to hell? awesome. so i was wondering if you could write something with frank and mick/chronos? coldwave and frankmatt would be welcome but pairings are unnecessary. i just want those two to interact and others to deal with it.

Awww, thank you! :D I’m glad you enjoy my fics.

There’s no others to deal with it, but here’s Mick/Kronos meeting Frank :)

Also for @pvnisher who convinced me to watched daredevil season 2 in the first place.

ao3 link

————————————————————————————

“That’s a lot of dead people.”

“You’re real observant, ain’t ya?” the guy sneers.

Well, he tries. He’s bleeding out pretty bad, but he’s trying to crawl towards his pack.

Sarcastic city boy with the pain tolerance of a mule, snarking even as he bleeds out into the pavement.

Kronos sighs and walks over, kneeling beside the man and running his hand-held time manipulator over his injuries. It’s an inferior version of the Pilgrim’s manipulator, works too slow and too narrow to really be of any use to anyone, and that’s why they binned it. Kronos had rescued it because slow or not, he can think of a few uses for something that reverses time in a localized spot.

Like healing a bullet wound, for instance.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” the guy howls.

It’s not a pleasant sort of healing, but it’ll do.

After the first burst of pain passes, the guy struggles to sit up, cursing up a storm of profanity and threats, until -

“Hey, I ain’t bleeding.”

“You’re very observant, aren’t you,” Kronos says dryly.

“That doo-hickey of yours is a cure-all,” the guy says, marveling at his closed up flesh. He’s got plenty of scars underlying it.

“No, the other one is,” Kronos says absently. “This one is portable, though.”

He stands.

“Hold up, will you?” the guy says, climbing to his feet. “Who are you, anyway? And, heh, what Renfair are you heading to? Or from?”

Kronos blinks at him. Renfair? Renaissance fair, his brain informs him. A Renfair is -

- cooking the turkey legs until they’re done right because he doesn’t want to poison anyone, prodding at them with a stick, a leather doublet unlaced halfway down and hanging free - ahistorical for sure, but the lady in charge of costuming had taken one look at his chest and okayed it -

Kronos shakes his head to clear it. “I’m not going to a Renfair.”

“Then what’s with the armor?”

“It’s to protect me when people try to resist,” Kronos says.

The guy, who’d been smiling a little, vaguely friendly, stiffens. “Resist what, exactly?”

“Whatever my masters order,” Kronos says. He shrugs at the guy’s incredulous look. “It’s that or the chair, and I ain’t doing that again. Ever.”

“The chair,” the guy echoes. “Electric?”

“More like electroshock,” Kronos tells him. He’s not sure why. “Except you can feel your memories disappearing as they rip them out of your head.”

“Torture,” the guy says, nodding. “And you can’t just go?”

“They’d go after me,” Kronos says, rather than saying he wouldn’t. Why is he even having this stupid conversation? “And then after everyone I cared about. Ever.”

“Fuck that,” the guy says, looking offended.

Oh.

That’s why.

Sarcastic killer with the pain tolerance of a mule and an accent with no class -

Reminds him of Len.

Brings the Mick Rory of him too close to the surface.

Kronos shakes his head. He needs to go before anyone sees this moment of weakness.

“Want me to take ‘em out for you?” the guy offers just as Kronos starts turning away.

Kronos turns back and stares. “You’re nuts,” he says.

“Yeah,” guy says. He sniffs a bit, smirks. “Guess I am.”

“You don’t know what you’re up against here,” Kronos tells him. “You’re outclassed.”

“Been outclassed before.”

“Not like this.”

The guy shrugs. “I’ll take my chances. These people sound like they need to be punished.”

That has the sound of a mantra. Or a catchphrase. Still in progress, though.

“No,” Kronos says slowly, bemused. “But thanks for offering.”

The guy nods.

Kronos feels moved by that little piece of Mick Rory that lives inside of him.

“…you want a lift to where you’re going next?”

“What the hell,” the guy says. “Why not? But I’m bringing my guns. And my dog.”

“Sure,” Kronos says. “Why not?”

———————————————

“You know, when you said lift, I was thinking of a car,” the guy, still nameless, says. “Maybe a van. Or a truck. I could see you with a truck.”

“I’ve never owned a truck.”

“Still, gotta say,” the guy says. “Wasn’t really seeing spaceship.”

Kronos looks at his ship. “It should be visible now that it’s uncloaked,” he says, bemused.

The guy barks a laugh. The dog barks happily in agreement.

“What the hell,” he says again. “Man, Red’ll never believe this.”

“You know the speedster?” Kronos asks, concerned.

“Speedster? I don’t know no speedster, unless you mean a Land Rover or a motorbike -”

“Then - you said - Red?”

“Y'know. The Daredevil?”

“Oh,” Kronos says. “In New York.”

“You’re not from New York,” the guy says, very definitively.

“Central City. Well, Keystone originally. Gem Cities.”

“Don’t they have a speedster there?”

“They do. He wears all red, too.”

The guy nods, understanding.

“So where am I dropping you off?” Kronos asks.

“I was gonna say I’d ride with you in any direction you’ve got,” the guy says. “But clearly I’m going to have to be more specific.”

Kronos nods.

“How far can this go?”

“Anywhere I need it to, within reason.”

“Huh. Afghanistan within reason for you?”

“Sure.”

“What about an army base?”

“No problem. I can drop you off on the roof.”

The guy looks wistful. “Nah,” he says. “No exit route.”

Kronos check his messages. “I have a job I need to do,” he says. “But if you don’t mind waiting until that’s done, I can drop you off and pick you up, then put you somewhere else.”

“I can wait,” the guy assures him, crookedly smiling. “Don’t you worry.”

Kronos revs up the ship. “Okay,” he says. “Funny, you mentioning Afghanistan. Do you know anything about the First Gulf War?”

“Sure, plenty. Why?”

“We’re going there.”

“We’re -”

“Strap in,” Kronos warns him, and makes the jump.

—————————————————————————

“Tihs,” the guy says. “Siht si tihs. Tahw eht kcuf?”

“Time travel side effects,” Kronos tells him. “Close your eyes, count to ten, then open 'em.”

Guy does.

And then -

“You can travel in time?!”

“Yeah,” Kronos says. “So?”

The guy’s throat works. “Time travel,” he says. His eyes are distant. “You - can you go see people? Specific people?”

Kronos shrugs. “Not everyone,” he says, think of - Len - people he’s not allowed to see.

“Oh. Okay. Uh. Maybe - could we -”

“After the job,” Kronos tells him.

The guy nods jerkily and goes quiet.

Kronos knows that kind of quiet.

“My family burned in a fire,” he says abruptly.

“Bullets,” the guy says hollowly. “All of 'em. My little girl.”

- Len smiling at the ice rink, pointing out Lisa - my little sister, he says proudly -

Kronos shakes his head. It pains his head to think of Len - he’s not supposed to feel good things about Len, only anger and hate -

“Hey,” the guy’s standing in front of him all of a sudden. “Hey, hey. It’s okay.”

Kronos blinks and shakes his head. “What’s okay?” he says harshly.

“Your nose started bleeding. You think something your bosses don’t want you thinking?” the guy’s voice is very calm, very even.

Kronos nods slowly. “My -” Best friend. Lover. Husband. “He -” Betrayer. “I -”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.”

“I’m supposed to hurt him,” Kronos says. His lips are numb and buzzing. “He hurt me, so I’m supposed to hurt him. I’m not enough yet, though. They put me back in the chair because I don’t hate him enough -”

“I don’t think I like your bosses,” the guy says.

“Yeah,” Kronos says, swallowing a few times. “Sometimes I don’t like 'em either. Not supposed to say that, but it’s true.”

The guy nods solemnly. “Something to think about,” he says vaguely. “What’s your job, anyway?”

“Ginny?” Kronos asks.

Ginny makes a whole show of unfurling her hologram every time he calls upon her. Kronos appreciates it: he hates surprises, how the Gideons of other ships just speak out of nowhere.

The guy looks pretty impressed, too.

“A straightforward retrieval mission,” she announces. “A time pirate removed an important shipment from the timeline, but perished in the process. The shipment needs to be returned to its track. There is no need for you to eliminate the individual this time.”

“They make you kill people for them,” the guy observes.

“Sometimes,” Kronos grunts and gets up.

“You need help?”

Kronos considers it for a moment. “You don’t need to get caught in the Time Masters’ shit,” he says eventually. “Stay here. I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay,” the guy says.

“You can ask Ginny if you have any questions,” Kronos adds. The guy reminds him of Len. If he remembers Len correctly - “Ginny, answer anything he wants, then erase the questions.”

The guy smiles. It’s surprisingly sweet.

And just a little wicked.

“I like you,” the guy says.

Kronos grunts and goes to work.

————————————————————————-

He comes back dirty and tired and hating sand, but history is back on track.

The guy looks disturbed.

“What?” Kronos asks.

“Asked about the Time Masters,” the guy says shortly.

Kronos nods. “Out of your league,” he reiterates.

“Yeah,” the guy says, but he sounds disgruntled. “I guess. For now.”

Kronos has to try not to smile.

This guy would get along great with Len. Never met a challenge he didn’t want to throw himself at.

“Yeah,” he says. “Who’d you want to see?”

The guy goes pale.

“It’s okay,” Kronos says.

“It’s not okay,” the guy whispers. “It’ll never be okay.”

“Tell me,” Kronos says.

The guy tells his story, short bursts and stuttering and choked up. It’s an awful story, too. Painful and pointless. Dead wife, dead daughter, dead son, and for no reason.

“I said no,” the guy says dully, his eyes glinting until he only seems half-present. “I said I’d read it to her tomorrow. Her favorite story. A couple of pages, and I couldn’t be bothered -”

“Did you go to sleep?” Kronos asks.

The guy blinks out of his daze, frowning. “What?”

“That night. You go to sleep?”

“Yeah,” the guy says, puzzled. “Why?”

Kronos nods. “We can’t change the timeline,” he says.

“Yeah,” the guy says, swallowing. “Ginny explained. It’s important not to mess it up or the Time Masters come for you.” There’s a spark in his eyes that Kronos doesn’t trust. It’s too much like Len.

“They’d put me in the chair for even thinking of helping you,” Kronos says.

The guy deflates a bit. He really is just like Lenny - he’d fight anybody, sure, but he wouldn’t actually cause someone else’s torture just for the chance. If he thought he could kill them, maybe, but not for the chance. “Yeah. There is that.”

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t fix the little things,” Kronos says.

The guy frowns at him.

“What do you mean?”

“Ginny can make a gas to help you sleep,” Kronos says. “Past you, I mean. And your wife. Then you - current you - can go wake up your kid, later that night. Read her the story. Kid that age won’t question Daddy coming back around. But you can’t interact with your past self at all, not without a timequake, so it’d be a quick in and out. You want that?”

The guy swallows like he can’t breathe, gulping air like he’s drowning, fist clenched on his chest and rocking back and forth in agony entirely internal. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Yeah. Shit. Yeah, I - shit. If that’s an option - shit. Yeah. I want it.”

“You’ve got to keep yourself together, though,” Kronos says. “You can say you love her and all that, but no hints about not going to no carousel, or I’ll know.” Kronos taps his message screen. “You’ll be my next target.”

The guy nods tightly.

“And you’re good,” Kronos says, thinking of the giant pile of dead bodies. “You’re good, but even if you beat me, even if you beat the next guy that comes, you can’t beat the Time Masters. They’ll attack you in the worst ways - they’ll drown you as a nine year old that time you went swimming, where you can’t stop them; they’ll shoot your wife in the head three days before you met her; they’ll take everything that means something away from your life before you ever have it.”

The guy nods. His eyes are still bright. “They’re gonna get what’s coming their way one day,” he says.

Kronos shrugs. It’s always possible. “Not today. You wanna do it?”

“Hell yeah. Won’t this get you in trouble?”

“This course of action fits the technical definition of time pirate,” Ginny says cheerfully. “Might I advise: don’t get caught?”

Kronos snorts and takes off.

They land in a park not far from the guy’s house. The guy’s shaking like a leaf in a way he hadn’t been at anything at all, up until now; this one act terrifying him a lot more than anything else.

Kronos straps a zapper around his wrist. “If you forget to come back,” he tells him, and goes around himself to the master bedroom with the sleepytime gas. He takes extra precautions to keep it dead quiet - guy like that isn’t someone to be messed with, clearly, and Kronos isn’t going to underestimate him even before he started his vendetta.

It works, though, and Kronos returns to the rendezvous point and waits.

And waits.

And waits.

A second before he starts reaching for the remote for the zapper, the guy staggers out of the house. He looks blind, or drunk, or possibly on the edge of some emotional breakdown.

Kronos goes over and gently takes his arm, leading him back to Ginny.

“Gin,” he says, since the guy’s still dissociating. “Think you can get a read on the past self from here?”

“Of course I can,” Ginny says haughtily. She’s a bitch, but that’s what Kronos likes about her. “And it’s Ginny. I’m not an alcoholic liqueur best served with tonic.”

“Think we can..?”

“Certainly. There’s only one injury that is potentially problematic to repair - a shot to the head. Very well publicized - indeed, the skull on his armor is a visualization of an x-ray of that injury. It has gained notoriety and thus relevance to the timeline, and if anyone discovered the absence -”

“Fair enough,” Kronos says. “If he consents, fix all the underlying but the head. He might want to keep some of the scars.”

“Boys and their scars,” Ginny sniffs. “In your absence, I have taken the liberty of repairing the guns, grenades, and other assorted weaponry.”

“You’re the best, Gin.”

“If you rename the ship 'Tonic’, sir, I will dump you out of an airlock.”

Kronos smirks.

It takes another ten or twenty minutes or so, but the guy eventually moves out of sheer shock and goes into the crying part of shock recovery. Kronos leaves him be; some things are private.

It’s at least an hour later that he feels the touch on his arm.

“Thank you,” the guy rasps, low and deep and voice wet as his eyes. “Thank you for giving this to me.”

Kronos shrugs. He doesn’t know how to explain that it wasn’t for him, not really, but for that precious, loved-yet-hated figure that lives in his memories. Another sarcastic shit with an absurd tolerance for pain and an itchy trigger finger, and a little girl who ruled his heart.

“She was so happy,” the guy says. “She was - shit. It’s been years for me, and so many deaths in between, but every day I’d think about her. Started to think maybe the shrinks were right and I was idealizing a bit. But no. She’s just as goddamn perfect as I remembered her. She’s - she’s everything.” His hands, shaking, abruptly steady. “And they took her from me.”

“I’ll take you to the base you wanted,” Kronos says. “But I’d recommend you let Ginny take a peek at you.”

“Oh?”

“She scanned your younger self. She can repair underlying issues - muscle tears, friction, aging. Won’t impact your instincts anyway, and you can keep the scars that are important, but a bit of extra flexibility and stamina can’t hurt.”

The guy raises his hand to his head.

“Can’t fix that,” Kronos says apologetically. “Gin says it’s too big a change. Might be noticed. The rest is all under the skin and you didn’t get that many scans of your body, so we can probably sneak away at least one bone break as having healed up perfect.”

The guy nods. “You trust her?”

“Yeah.”

He goes.

Kronos drops him off by the base and waits, playing with the guy’s dog as he does. It’s a good dog.

“It’s done,” the guy says from behind him. Alarms are blaring, the guy has a bag in his hands, and he’s painted like one of the Queen of Hearts’ roses, except it’s starting to brown already. “We shouldn’t stick around.”

“Anti-aircraft missiles would be a problem, even for us,” Ginny says.

Kronos nods and goes to the pilot seat. They take off right before a missile hits.

“They really don’t like you,” Kronos observes.

“No shit,” the guy says. “Good dog, isn’t she?”

“Very good. My partner always preferred cats, y'know. Probably because he was one, big old asshole cat -”

Kronos stops as a wave of pain overcomes him, his skull firing off a thousand waves of hatred and pain to remind him why he never talks about Lenny.

“Hey, hey,” the guy says, holding onto Kronos’ arms. “I got you. This the guy you’re supposed to hurt?”

Kronos nods mutely.

“What’s his name?” the guy asks.

Lenny.

Len.

Leonard.

Beloved. Husband. Partner.

Kronos’ mouth moves futilely, unable to squeeze out a word.

“Leonard Snart,” Ginny says for him. “Of Central City. A historical contemporary of yours.”

“Okay,” the guy says. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He pats Kronos on the back as Kronos straightens up. “You’re a good guy, you know? You haven’t even asked for anything from me.”

“You remind me,” Kronos croaks. “Of -” He trails off.

“Even the killing bit?”

Kronos shook his head. “Never liked killing,” he says. “Do it if he felt he had to, if people were hurting or threatening to hurt us, but the second anyone gave him an excuse to stop, he did. Dad made him do it. Was a cop, y'know. Dirty.”

“I hate dirty cops,” the guy says contemplatively. “I get you.”

Kronos shakes his head free of cobwebs. “I should get you back before the Time Masters notice I’ve made a detour.”

“You do that,” the guy says, going to the other seat and strapping himself and his dog in. “And hey - best of luck getting out from under them.”

Kronos doesn’t think that’s a possibility, but he appreciates the thought.

They land halfway across the country from where Kronos picked the guy up. “Been about four hours, local time,” Kronos tells him. “Bit too fast for you to get here, so if you want to be safe, I’d wait another few hours before heading out again.”

“Get some sleep and shit,” the guy says. “Gotcha. Thanks.”

Kronos opens the door for him and hands him his ridiculous bag of guns. Ginny pipes up to inform him of some additions she’s made to them.

Guy’s shoulders look like a burden’s been taken off of them. Kronos isn’t sure if it’s the removal of the chronic pain or having seen his daughter again that did it.

(He wishes he could make Len sit in the chair and take a round of Ginny’s healing, but he’ll never make anyone, no matter how hated-beloved-hated he is, sit bound in a chair every again.)

The guy stops just at the threshold. “Hey,” he says. “Just occurs to me. We never really got around to introducing ourselves.”

Kronos shrugs. “Names are the first thing they take.”

“Not mine,” the guy says. “I’m Frank. Frank Castle. And you?”

Kronos opens his mouth to give his designation.

“I used to be called Mick Rory,” he finds himself saying.

The guy nods. “I hope,” he says seriously, “that the next time we meet, you’re calling yourself that again.”

And then he goes.

“You’re wanted back at the Vanishing Point, Kronos,” Ginny says apologetically.

“Yeah,” Kronos says, shaking his head and closing the door. Enough nonsense - time to go back to work. “Yeah, let’s blow this joint.”

For one idle moment, he wonders if there’s any chance of him seeing Frank again.

Nah.

What’s the likelihood of that?

[whenismuna]

1-50 :)

:)

1. What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called? mostly just steph/stoof. prefer to be called Big Lesbian.

2. What books on your shelf are begging to be read? my bee book, my shark book, my rachel carson biography and my women in science history book :)

3. How often do you doodle? What do your doodles look like? like...never

4. What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep? Toss and Turn? Try to get up and do something productive? i just make up a scenario and think lol

5. How many days could you last in solitary confinement? How would you do it? i literally never leave my house unless im going to class so i think i could last pretty long

6. Do you save old greeting cards and letters? Throw them away? depends

7. Who is the biggest pack rat you know? michelle

8. When making an entrance in to a party, do you make your presence known? Do you slip in and look for someone you know? Do you sneak in quietly and find a safe spot to roost? usually make it unknown unless i know everyone

9. What is your strongest sense? If you had to give one up, which would it be? probably smell or hearing and id give up the sense of abandonment that i feel from everyone ive ever interacted with

10. How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror? if front camera counts too, then a lot

11. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child? i used to think that india was a continent on its own? i had literally zero reasoning i just always thought it was

12. What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up? my sweet baby boys :)

13. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know? idk??? i mean its not like a competition yknow?

14. How often do you read the newspaper? Which paper? Which sections? never

15. Which animals scare you most? Why? none? like actually zero animals intimidate me because i know that if they could kill me, like they dont have morals so theyre just doing what they know idk

16. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on? i will do literally anything to avoid a conflict

17. What was the most recent compliment you’ve received and savoured? the other day like 3 people complimented my bernie pin on my jacket? 

18. What is something about yourself that you hope will change, but probably never will? everything :-)

19. Are you a creature of habit? Explain. if i have a habit of doing something, i will do everything in my power to not break it

20. Are you high maintenance? Explain. i constantly want to talk to people but will also ignore everyone. im sorry.

21. When was the last time you really pushed yourself to your physical limits? every time i walk up the fucking stairs

22. Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends? Why? very few close friends bc im anxious and in middle/high school everyone hated me

23. Are you more inclined to “build your own empire” or unleash the potential of others? wtf?

24. What’s a strange occurrence you’ve experienced but have never (or rarely) shared with anyone? shai and i are convinced we saw a ghost once in a hospital. it was wild

25. What do you think about more than anything else? that one insta pic :) such a happy boy

26. What’s something that amazes you? that one insta pic :) such a happy boy

27. Do you prefer that people shoot straight with you or temper their words? Why? i mean like you should definitely be honest, but dont be rude yknow? im sensitive 

28. Where’s your favourite place to take an out-of-town guest? it used to be cats closet and sammy t’s but theyre both closed :’( so now its the river probably

29. What’s one thing you’d rather pay someone to do than do yourself? Why? idk

30. Do you have a catchphrase? nah

31. What’s your reaction towards people who are outspoken about their beliefs? What conditions cause you to dislike or, conversely, enjoy talking with them? i think its important to talk about what you believe in especially when people disagree with you because you can learn different viewpoints and where people are coming from. the point where i dislike someone is when their beliefs infringe on other peoples existence/human rights

32. How and where do you prefer to study? i dont know how to study :)

33. What position do you sleep in? one leg bent and the other on the other side of the country and on my tummy

34. What’s your all-time favourite town or city? Why? prague :0

35. What are the top three qualities that draw you to someone new? girl, tall is always a plus, ya gotta be funny boi

36. How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you? well having two older brothers and being the only girl made me have thicker skin so theres that, but my parents also have higer expectations of me bc the boys fucked up constantly and im nothing like them (apparently)

37. If you could eliminate one weakness or limitation in your life, what would it be? id fix my GOTDAM knee! i wanna be able to workout without limitations!!!!!!!!!!!

38. If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be? oh lord -_-

39. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? idk probably like sarah? ive always liked that name

40. Do you believe ignorance is bliss? Why or why not? it depends...

41. What do you consider unforgivable? a lot. i dont forgive easily tbh

42. Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not? depends on what it is. mostly no

43. How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize? again, i will not forgive people. like if youre my friend and you fuck up badly, ill still be your friend but ill never forgive you or forget what what you did, believe me. i hold strong grudges.

44.Do you hold any convictions that you would be willing to die for? i will die for a single grain of rice.

45. To what extent do you trust people? Explain. i like to trust people but others in the past have made it hard for me to do that to people in the future :-)

46. In what area of your life are you immature? all

47. What was the best news you ever received? when i found out i was going to see michelle in japan last year :D

48. How difficult is it for you to be honest, even when your words may be hurtful or unpopular? if my words are hurtful i wont say it, but if theyre unpopular i literally dont care

49. When did you immediately click with someone you just met? Why? What was the long term result? Conversely, are you close with anyone now that you really disliked at first? on tuesday but thats whatever i guess... we talked twice and now we dont anymore but its,,, whatever..,, i dont think im friends with people i didnt like at first

50. When do you find yourself singing? when im driving or home alone.