#and once again endings are hard any i've had the worst headache for hours so if this is bad i'm SORRY i'm not proofreading it

[dichromaticdyke]

Fic request/AU: Toki never auditioned for Dethklok and it’s always been a one guitar band and they are still world famous and wildly successful.

One night Skwisgaar hears something in the studio to find a spy has broken in! The spy who calls himself Toki is cornered and Skwisgaar takes the interrogation into his own hands to determine who this spy is and what he wants.

i wasn't sure where to take this, but you accidentally inspired a perfect concept in our dms.

With a sudden intake of breath, Skwisgaar snapped awake, still clutching his guitar in one hand and a notepad of scribbled tabs in another. This wasn't the first time he had fallen asleep in the studio while working on new Dethklok songs by himself, and he was certain it wouldn't be the last. Nathan and Pickles pulled their weight fine enough, but William was far too willing to get complacent with his own output. At times like this, he wondered if he should have let Dethklok become a two-guitar band.

He stretched his arms over his head, eager to get back to his firm bed that would, hopefully, realign his spine after it had been bent over the desk for the better part of eight hours. In doing so, he caught sight of something in the corner of his eye. He tightened his grip on the neck of his guitar—he wasn't normally wary of intruders, knowing full well that Klokateers had methods of keeping them out, but that didn't stop his instinctual worry.

As he stood, he heard a slight high-pitched noise, almost like a yelp, coming from behind a few stereo speakers. He charged in the direction of it, his guitar held high above his head. Behind the speakers, he saw, was a man—a man with long brown hair and white and black face paint on.

"Jeg beklager!" the man cried as Skwisgaar cornered him. "Jeg beklager!"

Skwisgaar sneered, slowly lowering his guitar. "Norska?" he asked.

The man nodded, hesitantly.

"Eugh." Great. If there was one group of people he hated more than the Danish, it was the Norwegians.

"I didn't mean to scare you," the man continued in Norwegian. "I just—I had to—"

"This is a secure compound," Skwisgaar told him in Swedish. "No one should be here—especially not Norwegian black metal wannabes."

"I'm not a wannabe!" The man crossed his arms over his chest. "My name is Toki Wartooth, and I'm the lead guitarist of Horse's Dick!"

Skwisgaar grimaced at the name. "I'm sure it sounds like dildos. How hard could it be to be a black metal lead guitarist?" he asked with an eye roll. "Don't you have a church to burn down or something? Get out of here."

"No!" Toki grabbed onto Skwisgaar's wrist. "I came all this way!"

"For what? Want to burn down Mordhaus, too? You have about five seconds before I call the Klokateers here to have you killed."

"I can't tell you why I'm here..." Toki looked down at his feet, not releasing his grip on Skwisgaar.

While he did seem significantly younger than him, and a bit shorter, Skwisgaar could tell just from the faint outline of his shirt that this man was jacked. If Skwisgaar tried to get physical with him, he was sure he would lose.

And truthfully, he didn't have his Dethphone on him. He couldn't contact the Klokateers fast enough. He would have to get this Toki guy out of here on his own.

So, he feigned interest. "Whatever it is you wanted, I can't give it to you if you don't tell me," he said.

Toki frowned. "Well, my bandmate—his name is Runke Snogge—he doesn't like digital music. He hates Dethklok. But I heard you had a new analog recording format..." He trailed off, looking down before finally letting Skwisgaar go.

It was making sense now. He wanted to find a way to record his dildo black metal records onto water. He wanted to scoff at this idea, tell Toki that the highly complicated and expensive technology it took to produce HEARD wasn't something to be wasted on his stupid amateur music. Instead, he deflected: "Water records can only be recorded in Mordhaus. You don't even have a guitar or your friend."

"Yes I do." Toki pointed past Skwisgaar, who turned his head. Against the wall, near the door to the studio, was a haphazardly duct-taped Flying V guitar. "I was gonna try to record some of my tracks...but you were here..."

Skwisgaar sighed. This man was just so pathetically earnest, wasn't he? "Even still, without your friend, you won't be able to record your songs on water—"

"He's outside."

Skwisgaar narrowed his eyes. "What."

"He's outside. He didn't want me to come all this way by myself. He's waiting for me... Damn it, I should go."

And this time, as Toki made to leave, it was Skwisgaar's turn to grab his wrist and stop him. "Wait." He cursed himself for what he was about to do. "Just...wait ten minutes."

--

Dick Knubbler let out a yawn as Skwisgaar begrudgingly gave him a cup of coffee. "Alright babes, you ready?" he asked. Skwisgaar had been lucky that Dick hadn't been too far from Mordhaus at the time of his call, though he did wish that the man had slept in...well, any kind of clothing. Lending him his own robe was another sacrifice he was making tonight.

"Readies!" Toki said, his guitar strapped over his shoulder and plugged into the amps of the recording booth.

"Readies," the man known as Runke said, notably less excited than Toki.

Dick hit record, and the two Norwegians inside the recording booth began to record their first song: "Release Me from Conservative Hell." As they played, Dick swiveled in his chair to face Skwisgaar. "You know, the other boys aren't gonna be happy about this."

"Ja, I knows." Skwisgaar finished his own cup of coffee in one prolonged gulp.

"And you certainly don't let anyone else use the recording booth. What's this about?"

"Nothings."

Dick smirked, peaking over his shoulder at Hestkuk. Toki was in the middle of playing an agonizingly slow chord while Runke shrieked some nonsense about hating his life, or whatever. "Norwegian men are kinda cute, aren't they, babe?"

"I's has you killeds too, Knubbler."

[sandyca5tle]

Slime HRT - 24 Months

Well, these past couple months have been hell, with a light at the end of the tunnel that I’ve now reached, but still. Anyway, on with the show…

So, before I get into the really gritty stuff, my jaw and teeth were converted pretty early on, as well as my ear bones. The former were a little funky, but honestly nothing really changed there, since I already don’t need to chew things, losing my teeth was no big deal, and for the latter, there was a small blip in my hearing - for a few minutes - but then it came back, honestly better than before. I wasn’t super worried about the hearing loss, particularly after eyes taste and smell, only how long I'd be deaf for, but fortunately, as I said, it really wasn't a problem. I’m pretty sure that my slime has just replaced my inner ear’s function innately, and since hearing is just interpreted vibrations, and slime is pretty good at vibrating. What was and has been nice is the cat ears I made a few months back can now actually function, which took a little getting used to, but my hearing is super good now, if a little overwhelming at times.

Right, on to the less pleasant parts: Remember how in the last update I said that apparently you know when your brain goes, yeah, that’s true, and it’s ‘cause it’s genuinely the most painful, disorienting, and scary thing I have ever experienced. First of all, unlike a lot of other changes, it kinda just goes all at once - I think it’s a survival thing, the brain/core wouldn’t function while being half transformed, and it’d probably kill you if they tried to. Only issue is that this means that your brain basically dissolves over the course of a few hours, which is excruciating, and the weeks leading up to that absolutely suck as well.

The first thing I noticed was the pain - headaches, some of the worst I’ve ever had (which I know I’ve said a lot over the course of this, but I was fortunate before to have very little issues, and turns out transforming your whole body hurts). I tried to take some painkillers to help, but they don’t seem to work any more - not sure if it’s ‘cause my biology is so different now, or ‘cause my body breaks them down too well, but either way they don’t work, so I had to suffer through the pain.

Either on top of or because of the pain, I've had a general sense of disorientation. It started off as just sometimes getting a little turned around in games and the like, but it progressed to getting lost if I tried to go anywhere (which was compounded by some other stuff too). Frankly it's a good thing in the final days before my brain changed that I hurt too much to go anywhere, else I probably would have ended up somewhere entirely unknown at a really vulnerable stage in my transformation.

I also have had some memory issues while things have worked things out. My memory has never been amazing in the first place, but I started to get very forgetful, forgetting appointments, plans, even eating (I'd usually ‘remember’ when I started idly eating random things I had around, which has meant I've lost a few things, but I don't remember what so I'm keep finding things I need to replace). I’m also pretty sure I lost some older memories too, but it’s really hard to tell if that’s from normal forgetting or forgetting ‘cause my brain was becoming mush, it’s kinda scary not knowing. This is also part of what compounded my disorientation - when telling left from right is getting hard, forgetting where you're even meant to go or have come from only makes things worse. Also, try reforming yourself from a puddle when you barely remember what you were before… definitely had some interesting shapes recently. Honestly, it was terrifying, I actually didn't know if I'd ever be able to remember things again (obviously I can, but I didn't know that at the time, and my memory of that period are sketchy at best)

Of course, the pain I mentioned earlier made it hard to focus on things, but even beyond that my ability to focus seemed to vanish. I have been so easily distracted over the past couple of months. Genuinely a glint of light or something could completely draw my attention from whatever I was doing, and then I'd usually completely forget what I was doing, get distracted by something else and wonder off. I apparently walked off in the middle of so many games and videos and just any activity I was doing. Frankly it's a miracle that I have any notes, or remember enough to actually write this entry, I kinda spent most of this last month piecing together what I do remember and have notes of (the notes are not the most legible, worse than my normal handwriting which is awful anyways (there's a reason I type these updates)). 

On top of all this, I also had nightmares and hallucinations. The former sucked, but honestly asides from waking up in some weird shapes in attempts to either fight or defend myself from whatever was jumping me in the nightmare (assuming it was a monster one) they were over once I woke up. The hallucinations were worse, since they could appear at any time, and oh boy do they seem real. Sometimes they were small things, noises, or a shape in my periphery. Other times they were blurry, intimidating figures in the distance. And of course with my inability to focus on things, these hallucinations would only be another thing to distract my addled brain. The worst though, was waking up from a nightmare, a puddle unable to reform, and the nightmare continuing as a hallucination in the real world. That'd usually shake me up for a day - and annoyingly my memory issues didn't really seem to extend to them. I'm still working out what was real and fake from that time, and it has not been easy, or fun. My ‘brain’ feels like goddamn soup whenever I think about that time. 

On top of everything else, sometimes I'd faint. Sometimes due to pain, other times (particularly towards the end of the transformation) I'd just keel over, only to wake up in a puddle of myself. It was really disconcerting and scary… kinda felt like my brain was just cutting out, and I was a little scared it might not cut back in at some point… and of course that’s one of the things I remember clearly, the fear and worry of that - very clear that the ‘remember bad shit’ survival instinct was and still is functioning, as annoying as that is.

Since I don't particularly want to linger on those thoughts more than I already have, an interesting thing to note is that even through all of this, my actual mental faculties didn't diminish - while I was forgetful and distracted, if I managed to make myself, I found myself just as capable as before. I partially did this to help assure myself I wasn't losing myself, but also because, let's be honest, slimes aren't known for being the brightest bunch, and I've been a little worried this whole time that I'd get dumber or something. The pamphlet I was given didn't really say anything about this happening, but I know from trans hrt that the information your given doesn't always include every possible effect (I know it certainly failed to mention the attention issues during the most recent stage, and the blindness from before) 

But, despite last month being basically the worst month of my life, I have survived, albeit a little scrambled, and I'm slowly putting everything back together. And of course, now, there's nothing human left in me! I'm all slime!!! (It makes me so unbelievably happy to be able to say that now).

Interestingly, unlike everything else, my brain hasn't fully gone, instead I ended up with what I quickly realised is a slime core! For those unfamiliar, slimes can have a core, which is essentially like their brain/major organ inside them, usually looking like a small coloured sphere. While slimes are usually pretty hard to damage permanently, damage done to a slimes core can be very debilitating, like heart, brain, or lung damage for humans and stuff. 

I actually think I had a kind of proto-core before hand, but didn't notice it, and I think it came around about when my digestive system was changed, since I think my core manages matter-to-slime conversion (I'm guessing this ‘cause that's improved since my core has now fully formed). I guess I didn’t spy it before ‘cause it was too small or something?

On that note, my core is/looks like, interestingly, a kind of verdant green gem. It mostly just seems to float inside of my goo, although I can move it around my body wherever I like, but I tend to keep it either right in the middle of my torso, or in the middle of my chest (at least in human form). Both areas have a decent amount of goo protecting my core, and it looks neat to have it there. 

It does actually look really pretty, especially when taken outside of my body (don't worry, it can be taken out of my body, so long as it remains in contact with my goo I'm completely fine), and yeah, just kinda looks like a funky green stone/gem. I am curious as to why it's green, and I'm kinda hoping it's gonna boost the efficiency of my photosynthesis, and that it's green ‘cause of chlorophyll, but I don't honestly know yet, need some nice sunny days to properly test it out. 

I did find out that if my core does become separated from my goo, I can just reform another body from stored goo around the core, leaving the old body to fall (but I can just reabsorb it afterwards to maintain mass). Oh, and before anyone worries that I was being reckless, I made sure to check that I wouldn't die before I tested anything.

On the note of stored goo, it seems like excess goo/matter is stored in the core, like fat in humans. I'm not sure what or if there's a limit or what happens if I try to eat too much, but as far as I've gotten for now, it seems to be fine. I have noticed that I actually seem lighter now, I still seem to weigh about as much as I look like I should (maybe slightly over) and as such it changes if I make myself grow bigger, but not really if I eat things. I'm not entirely sure quite what's going on there, as that seems like some physics defying shit, but it's actually super useful, means I can store as much mass as I'd like and not break the sofa when I sit down. 

So asides from all of those experiences and changes, I've found a couple other things that have sprung up from these changes. Firstly, I've found that my body feels much more coherent, I'm very much now one gelatinous entity, rather than bits of one and bits of another. Movement feels much more fluid now, especially outside of a humanoid form (not that I've gotten worse at being humanoid, just better at everything else) and I honestly find myself kind of hot swapping between slime ball and slime girl as I need/feel like it. Also navigating crowds is super easy now, just kinda slipping and moving between any gaps (I could kinda do this before, but again, now it feels so second nature). On top of this, my multitasking seems to have improved. I still can’t say one thing while writing another, but I've gotten better at physical multitasking; I struggle less coordinating my ‘hands’ when I try playing the piano for example (I still can't play it, but I've got more of the coordination for it). Add in that I can very easily have several limbs/pseudopods/whatever you want to call them at once (which is honestly why I think my multitasking has improved, it's to facilitate control of the numerous structures I can now produce) and it’s become very easy to manage multiple, physical, tasks at once. 

One thing I have noticed myself doing, almost subconsciously (and honestly, this might've started a little before now, but I'll talk about it here, since I've really noticed it now), I'll just adjust my body however I need in the moment. Now, this may sound kind of obvious, but it's a little funky (but mostly neat) to just suddenly grow an extra limb, or pseudopod to hold or grab something quickly, or to just adjust my mass to better balance or manage something. Again, very neat, but a little funky to realise when I didn't consciously think about it. 

Relatedly, shaping has become easier, not sure if that's due to practise, or having a more compatible neurological centre, but I seem to be able to shape myself quicker, and I seem to have gained a better memory for shape too, the latter is definitely due to recent changes, or at least, definitely due to the treatment.

I've  also still been working on my acid control, which feels like it's gotten easier, but again I can't say whether that's from practice or the recent changes, but I can at least somewhat reliably keep an area of my body acid free now for a bit.

Unrelated to the treatment, but I'm actually much shorter now, at least in my humanoid form, clocking in at around 4’4”(slime ball form has remained the same size, at around 30cm tall). I always liked the idea of being really small, and I can now, and it's not like it really offers any disadvantages, since I can just reach tendrils up to grab things from high up (with eyes/vision so I can see what I'm doing), plus it means I have more spare slime to spend on other, more fun things than just being tall. This all being said, the idea of using all my slime to become really big also has its appeals, but it's less practical for day to day life. 

To touch on one final thing, I definitely don't feel human anymore. I'm a slime, through and through, humanity is just a memory. I've mentioned before feeling more and more detached from humanity (if I ever felt truly attached) as this process has gone on, but now that I'm seemingly done, I don't feel human at all. Interestingly, I find this aspect has been remarkably similar to gender transition, with the feeling of being a guy slowly fading away until it seemed alien to think of myself as one, which kinda feels like where I'm at at the moment. I'll likely catch myself still including myself in humanity from time to time for a while, but I can safely say I'm a slime, and I am so happy I can now. So that’s what my life has been for the last couple of months, and while parts sucked - like, really sucked - the end result is so unbelievably worth it. While this feels like the end of slime hrt, I do have an appointment planned with the doc to talk about my next step and hopefully get myself onto shapeshifter hrt, so my next update will probably be about that. See y’all then!

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Tag list below cut (lmk if you want to be added)

@calliecwrites, @friedsputnik, @now-entering-the-goop-zone, @scrubbinn, @lilacinthefog

@mint-and-authoress, @losttodreams, @redroversendjayover, @ariathelamia, @kanithedemoncat

[amethystina]

A health update (and a general explanation of my long Covid)

So while I've been pretty open about living with long Covid, I realise I've never taken the time to explain what that actually means for me and my quality of living. It's a phrase I toss around but I can imagine it doesn't feel all that substantial to a lot of you.

So I figured that now that I'm feeling a bit better (more on that later) I should do so. Partly because I figure it will make it easier to understand why I sometimes have to disappear for weeks on end.

So, if you're interested, feel free to keep reading under the cut :)

But be warned: It's long and kind of whiny. But also ends on a high note! So there's that.

The first time I caught Covid was around Easter 2020, long before there were any vaccines, which meant that I was hit hard. But no matter how bad I felt during the illness itself, the aftermath has been ten times worse. I've been living with my long Covid symptoms ever since, so for four years now. They worsened for a couple of months when I caught Covid a second time in February 2021, but have otherwise held pretty steady during those four years.

A lot of people experience different symptoms with their long Covid and, sometimes, they'll change as the weeks and months go by. I actually had a very interesting couple of months during 2022 when my sense of smell just went completely whack and everything suddenly smelled differently than it should. Like, I could be smelling an apple but it did not smell like an apple. It was a weird time in my life.

Anyway. My most common symptoms are fatigue, fevers, joint pain, brain fog, memory issues, incoherent speech, and lowered blood circulation.

(The latter actually kickstarted the Raynaud's syndrome I have on my mother's side so now I struggle with fingers and feet that will occasionally go white, bloodless, and completely numb at random intervals. Fun times)

The fatigue and fevers are the worst by far. For the past four years, I have had exhaustion fevers between two to five times a week. Or every single day if I'm unlucky. It's very much tied to how much sleep I'm getting, how well I'm eating, and how many taxing things I do each day. I need eight hours of sleep to be functional and anything less than that will most likely mean I'll end up having a fever before the day is over.

Unfortunately, I've always had issues with my sleep so, on most nights, I don't get eight hours even if I try my absolute best. Sometimes it's because I wake up too early and can't fall back asleep and, sometimes — because my life sucks — it's because my fever is so high that I can't fall asleep. Cue the endless cycle of too little sleep and fevers.

Because one of the main issues with these exhaustion fevers — and what makes them so difficult to manage — is that there's no way to lower them. Medicine has no effect whatsoever. Once I have it, I just have to suffer through however many hours are left until I can sleep and hope that it'll be gone in the morning. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

And every day my energy level gets just a little bit lower and the fever a little bit higher. Some days, all I can do when I get home from work is to lie on the couch and stare at the wall because I'm too tired and in too much pain to even watch something. And, again, no amount of medicine helps.

It continues on like this for a while and, every third or fourth month or so, the strain eventually becomes too much and I fall ill. My body simply shuts down from the continued stress and exhaustion, to the point where I can barely get out of bed. And, usually, I can feel it coming. On top of the fevers, I start coughing, then get a headache, and then my nose gets stuffy. And, by that time, I know I have about two to four days before I get sick. It's so accurate that my coworkers have learned that when I give the sign, they have to tell me whatever tasks they need to be finished within the near future since I'll probably be out of commission for one to two weeks.

But I eventually recover, go back to work, and so the cycle starts again. And again. And again. And again.

For four years.

All of this has, unsurprisingly, affected my quality of life to a pretty significant degree. I can barely work, let alone spend time doing any of my hobbies. I can't really travel anymore and, if I do, I'll get sick from the exhaustion. Even the 50-minute commute to the office (which I have to do three times a week) usually results in a fever before the day is over.

This inability to travel was how I ended up missing my maternal granddad's funeral. My shitty relatives didn't tell us the date for when he would be buried until there were only two days left and even if I could have put myself on an overnight train to get there, I knew I would be in no shape to actually be at the funeral if I did. So I couldn't go.

I did go to sit with my paternal grandmother as she was dying but, as expected, I got sick and couldn't return to work for a couple of days afterwards.

I also have to skip most birthday celebrations and any events happening on weekdays since I'm usually too feverish or won't manage the required trip to get there. My life has shrunk so much I barely recognise it anymore. I don't recognise myself. I used to be one of those people who could do a million things at the same time and somehow complete all of them. I was firm, organised, and efficient.

And now I'm not.

(... or, well, technically I am — at least compared to many others — but not compared to how I used to be xD)

Point being, a lot of things have changed and I don't like it. But, with that said, I'm also well aware that I'm lucky to be alive and I'm fortunate enough to have a stable job and a roof over my head. So, all things considered, I'm still doing pretty well.

But I also can't lie and say that this hasn't affected me in a deep and fundamental way. My life has changed and, right now, I don't know if it'll ever return to what I used to consider normal. And dealing with that knowledge — and the grief and fear that comes with it — hasn't been easy. I have cried ugly, self-pitying tears over this many, many times. It's frustrating to have no control over what my body does and to constantly have to be careful of what I do so I don't exhaust myself. I am furious that this happened to me.

But, after four years, there's also a certain amount of acceptance. And while I'm annoyed by my new limitations, I try my best not to feel too sorry for myself. Instead, I try to adapt as best I can, even if I might not always do it gracefully.

That does mean that I sometimes push myself more than I should, though. Because, if I didn't, I wouldn't never produce anything. As depressing as it is to admit, everything I've given you in the past four years has been while I was sick. I don't think a single chapter I've written or drawing I've made has been untouched by this. I've become an expert at writing, editing, and drawing even with a fever.

That doesn't mean I regret it, though — quite the opposite. I think that if I hadn't had a reason to write and draw, I would have felt even worse. A lof of the time, the excitement I feel when I'm able to post a chapter or show off a drawing I've made has been the highlight of my week. It's an accomplishment.

But, that said, it's still hard. Writing in particular. It requires a level of brainpower I can't reach when the fevers are too bad. And so, sometimes, I just can't. I literally just can't.

And, back in January, as I was trying to edit chapter 39 of Who Holds the Devil, I honestly pushed myself too hard. I was so determined to finish it that I didn't let myself see just how bad I was feeling — not at all helped by how emotionally draining the content of the chapter was.

It was only once I finished the chapter and posted it that I realised how absolutely wretched I felt. Not because of the chapter itself, but my lack of compassion for myself, I guess? Because the fevers were bad, I was barely sleeping, and I was both mentally and physically exhausted. And, what was worse, I realised that I was displaying depression symptoms I hadn't seen in over ten years.

All of a sudden, I got annoyed as soon as a minor inconvenience appeared. Everything people said to me was dissected into its tiniest component. I feared that people were secretly hating me. I couldn't meet people's eyes anymore when I was talking to them. I didn't realise I was just sitting there, staring at a wall, until several minutes had already passed.

And, as the final nail in the coffin, I stopped talking about how I was feeling.

And that, right there, is my last warning that I need to do something — always has been, ever since I was a teenager. When I clam up completely, refusing to admit to the people around me that I'm feeling bad, that's when I'm about to spiral.

So, the very next day, I went to my boss and told her that I'm getting burnt out and I need to do something NOW or this was going to turn ugly real soon. Thankfully, my boss is amazing and, after a doctor's visit, I was put on partial sick leave. Right now, I'm working six hours a day instead of eight and, let me tell you, I'm thriving.

Or, well, as much as I can while still having long Covid.

I'm almost angry at how much better I feel because, if I had known, I would have done this a lot sooner. I actually have energy now! I've only had a fever about four times in a little over a month! That's insane! It used to be four a week!

So yeah. I'm feeling better than I have in a long time. The downside is that the partial sick leave is still only temporary and there are no guarantees that I'll be able to keep it. Though, if need be, I'll just have to ask my boss to rewrite my contract and change the amount of hours I work because, man, I don't ever want to go back considering how much better and happier I feel. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I feel like I've gotten my life back. It's not quite the same as before, but close enough to it that I kind of want to cry again — but happy tears this time.

And so I've spent the past couple of weeks just... living? When, before that, it felt like I was merely existing. I've been drawing a lot since that helps with the depression symptoms (which are almost completely gone, thank god) but writing has been harder. Possibly because I forced myself to do it during a time when I felt really, really bad and now I'm instinctively trying to shy away from it. But, since I know that's just my mind playing tricks on me, I'm going to give it another try this weekend. I want to write and I miss the stories I'm working on. And, hopefully, since I'm feeling a bit better, I can maybe get back to a more structured uploading schedule. But we'll see. As always, I can't make any promises.

But that's about it, I guess? I'm feeling better and, since I am, I've been doing a lot of things that I wasn't able to before (like taking walks — I take a lot of walks). And I'm still trying to figure out my new routine now that I work less. And while I still get sick sometimes (I am right now, in fact, due to lack of sleep on Tuesday night) I always find my way back eventually.

So yeah. If you've read this far, thank you so much for your patience 💜 I admit that I don't really enjoy writing things like these since it feels like I'm whining — I was very much raised not to take up space or complain when things are difficult (an unfortunate side effect to being the middle child with two disabled, high-maintenance siblings) — but I also prefer honesty and transparency. And I feel a little guilty since there are times when I've given pretty harsh responses when people question why I'm sick all the time or why I don't upload chapters as often as I used to, but without actually explaining why. So I guess it's time to be honest?

And the truth is that I've been constantly sick for the past four years. Not only due to my long Covid, but also the emotional and psychological toll of all the loss, grief, and pain I've been through. These past four years have been rough.

But I'm not saying that to gain pity or make excuses. I actually think I've done pretty well considering just how hindered I've been. I've improved my drawings so much and have written... god knows how many words. I'm honestly kind of scared to check xD But it has to be over 600k by now, maybe closer to 700k.

I think my only regret is that I haven't been able to engage with you all to the extent I would want. I wish I could be a more active and enthusiastic participant in fandom — to seek you out, hold conversations, and give you all even a fraction of the attention you've given me. I feel like I don't offer you nearly enough.

But I also know that I have to accept my own limitations. So, for now, we'll have to settle for whatever I can give, even if it's less than I would want. But I will keep on creating, trust me on that, because I'm stubborn as fuck and even if my pace is slower, I'm still determined to finish what I start.

And that's the note I want to end this on. I have suffered, yes — more so than I may have expressed to you all — but I've still managed to create some beautiful things. And while I mourn who I used to be and the fact that some of you have never known me at my best, I don't think the me I am right now is all that terrible. Do I want things to change? Yes, definitely. But do I want to change the choices I've made and the things I've accomplished in the past four years? No, I can't say that I do. I'm proud of what I've done, especially considering my limitations.

And, if you're reading this, thank you so, so much for your kindness, compassion, and support. Some of you are old friends while others of you are new, but I am grateful to every single one of you. You have made these past four years more bearable. You have made it easier to keep fighting. You have made it worth it.

Thank you 💜

[fragileizywriting]

and his rut, right? his rut is relentless. relentlessss.

it's been six months since he's had his mate and he's sick with agony and he knows that when he goes to the doctors about it later they're going to order him to never do that again, what is wrong with you, but it's not like he had any idea it would be this bad. kitty takes suppressants and he does too and it's fine and they can move on with their lives— kitty has a once-a-year heat where they work it out and he made sure that the tour was not during then (could you imagine? him half across the world, listening to her breathy voice on the phone, telling him that she needs his knot? can you imagine how hard it would be to listen to her whines and mewls and not pop one right in his own jeans at her voice, thinking about her puffy cunt and the way she opens up for him? how when he fingers her open, she's sopping wet, warm, and desperate?) so everything should be fine, right?

"i think you have a fever," she mumbles against his skin, reaching up to pet at his forehead. he groans and hides and buries her back into his chest like a stuffed animal— she squeaks, makes some kind of noise reminicent of a dog toy when chewed on— and she's squirming way too much for him to sleep comfortably. "luka—"

"can i just sleep?"

"you're in a rut," she complains. "i can't just let you sleep."

"we can figure it out in the morning."

this is where she somehow has the strength to pull away; she looks down at him, brows furrowing, something so cute in the way her eyes narrow and the ends look sharp enough to cut through glass. "you're in one of the worst ruts i've ever seen in my life and you want to sleep it off?"

"well," he tries, really tries, oh so tries, "i— i can't exactly make you come right now because i'm so exhausted."

"that's irrelevant." she's hardheaded. god, he loves her. he says nothing but watch, even as a headache stains and smears in his brain and makes everything feel brittle, as kitty peels off her shirt— the one she stole from his suitcase, plucked right out of his hands to keep for herself. her panties are next, but she keeps her socks on— a trait she's developed over the years dating each other. she likes socks. makes her feel cozy. for some reason, she's able to come faster this way. "who cares about me?" she snorts.

"i do."

she sniffs the shirt she'd been wearing for about an hour, taking one of the deepest breaths he's ever seen. can she even hold that much air? christ, where's all this lung capacity hiding?

when she comes back again, her pupils are dilated, soft and sweet, and she uses his shirt to wipe against her chest until her nipples pebble up. back she goes with the shirt, rubbing it along her glands, wipe, wipe, wipe.

"come on," she tells him, pulling down his boxers. he's half-hard— of course he is, he loves seeing her naked, with nothing but socks and that ribbon around her neck, starting to rock in his lap. "let's get you to pop a knot, okay? this'll make it feel a little bit better."

[practically-an-x-man]

prompt "It’s like they said in Star War The Last Jedi: the past fucking sucks, dude…ignore that shit and get a lightsaber." :)

Oh, I can so hear Ophelia saying this...

____ Call it Even

Word Count: 1.6k Content Warnings: depictions of chronic pain/injury ____

It was a rough few days.

Her bad knee had flared up again, thanks to a risky maneuver out on the battlefield. As far as Ophelia could tell, there wouldn't be any lasting damage - not anything past what she was already used to dealing with, at least - but it left her in a lot of pain.

That meant a few things.

One, she couldn't move much. Her ventures peaked at hobbling from her lab to the bathroom and back a few times a day, and nothing more. Hell, Peter had even brought dinner into her lab so she wouldn't have to limp the thirty feet down the hall.

Two, she couldn't sleep. Ophelia had enough insomnia as it was, but the constant pain shredded what little desire to sleep still survived through that. She'd tried, once or twice, alongside a healthy dose of Nyquil, and even that only granted her a few restless hours and a pounding headache once she awoke.

And three, she was more than barred from hero work until the pain subsided. Motion wasn't as much an issue - her actuators would carry her wherever she needed or wanted to go - but the pain made it hard to focus. That would only end in her getting injured. Well, injured more.

So she sat at her desk and tinkered. It was infuriating. She had her machines, she had her music, her actuators brought her whatever parts she needed, but sometimes she did her best thinking by wandering the city.

Here, she couldn't so much as pace her lab for ideas. Ophelia was confined to her lab chair, her bad leg braced and propped on a stack of old machinery in front of her. Amadeus had come and gone throughout the day, and was currently curled up on a lab table while one of her actuators delicately stroked his back. Sometimes their gentleness surprised even her.

"Are you sure it's okay that I head out?" Peter asked, drawing her eyes up to the doorway. He was clad in his Spidey-suit, red Spandex hugging every slope of his body. His mask dangled loosely from one hand, giving her a full view of his mussed hair and concerned brown eyes.

"I'll be fine. Not like I'm doing anything different from what I've done all day," Ophelia responded with a shrug, "Besides, at least one of us should be out there. It's not like the villains are out taking a sick day."

"Yeah, but we could let the cops have this one."

She scoffed.

"Please. They're cops." she huffed, "At best the bad guys'll slip away. At worst, they'll do more harm than good. They always seem to. Never seem to realize there's a whole lot of problems that can't be resolved by the barrel of a gun."

"Yeah, but Ol's-"

"I'm fine, Pete. I promise. Go... do your thing. Protect the city and all that." Ophelia insisted, "And anyway, I'm safer in here than out there. I expect a very dull night."

"Hm. Alright, I guess." he agreed, albeit begrudgingly, and crossed the room to meet her at her desk. He reached to cup the back of her head, guiding her into a brief kiss. He pulled back a moment later, and nearly made it to the door before he turned again. "Hey, ah- set yourself a timer? So you don't stay up too late?"

"When did you become the responsible one?"

"Right about when I learned you'd blown yourself up by being sleep-deprived."

His delivery, delightfully dry, was enough to startle a sharp laugh out of her. Ophelia gave him a crooked grin.

"Fair enough," she said, already reaching for her phone, "There. Every half-hour until midnight."

"Thanks," Peter agreed, "Oh, and I already took care of Amadeus, so he should be fine for the night."

"Great. Oh- hey, I think we're almost out of litter, do you think you could swing by and pick some up if there's a place still open tonight?"

"What, and let the world know Spider-Man has a cat?" he fired back, grinning at her, "Sure. Are we still on Tidy Cats for him?"

"I dunno, I think he's been getting a reaction to it." Ophelia said with a frown, "I think the dust has been irritating his skin. Maybe try to find something all-natural?"

"On it." he said, giving her a brief nod as he pulled his mask on over his head, "Love you, Ol's. Don't stay up too late."

"Love you too. I'll do my best."

____

She stayed up too late.

It wasn't really her fault. Her alarm had gone off at midnight, and as promised she'd worked her way up to her feet and made her way back to the more domestic side of her apartment. She made a very pointed effort not to get lost in her projects as she so often did. She'd go to bed (and probably still be awake, but at least she'd be in bed and awake instead of surrounded by dangerous machinery), and eventually Peter would come back from his swing through the city and lay down beside her, and maybe she'd manage a few hours of sleep.

And then she tripped over Amadeus on the way to the bathroom.

It wasn't awful. The cat was startled but not hurt, and Ophelia managed to twist in a way that took the brunt of the fall on her hip rather than her knees or wrists or any other riskier areas. There were definitely worse ways to fall.

But it sent the pain sparking back to life, lightning bolts all up and down her leg. There was no way she'd find sleep with that agony in the way.

So, three ibuprofen and an ice pack later, she found herself back in her lab.

Just an hour, she told herself. One more hour for the ibuprofen to kick in and the pain to die down, and then she'd get back to bed. And she'd be more careful this time.

But she'd forgotten to set a timer, and then she'd just... gotten lost.

She didn't realize Peter had come home until there was a gentle hand sliding over her shoulders. Ophelia jolted once, started from her focused near-trance, but relaxed as she realized who it was.

"I thought you set a timer."

"I did. Then I fell in the hallway, and..." she trailed off with a shrug, "Anyway, I wasn't getting back to sleep. Sorry."

As she tuned back into the world around her, she realized a few things. One, that the pain in her knee had indeed lessened, down to the same low ache she'd grown used to over the past few days. Two, she had to pee so badly it almost hurt, and she wished she'd remembered to set a timer to take care of that sooner. And three, it was rapidly nearing four in the morning. Much, much later than she meant to be up.

"You fell?"

"Tripped over the cat. I'm alright. So's Amadeus. It's fine."

"Hm." Peter replied, clearly not quite satisfied by her answer, but apparently decided to move on, "What's that you're working on?"

"Oh, uh-" she started, holding up the slim object in her hand, "It's a little like a lightsaber. Still in its early stages, though."

She pressed a button on the side of it, and colorless light arced down the metal rod. Ophelia stretched to grab a piece of scrap metal from the far corner of her desk, and pressed the rod against it. In moments, it had bored a hole straight through.

"Not bad, right?" she said with a grin, shutting the device off and setting it on her desk, "Figured it was about time I started playing with fire again. It's like they said in Star Wars: The Last Jedi: the past fucking sucks, dude… ignore that shit and get a lightsaber."

"And that's Ophelia's four-AM voice, which means it's time to go to bed," Peter decided, though she could hear him stifling laughter as he offered her a hand, "C'mon, Ol's, you can finish in the morning. I'll help you up."

She obliged and took his hand, and he very carefully helped her up to her feet. Once she was up, he shifted his grip to weave his arm around her waist, taking some of her weight off her bad leg.

"Are you hurt at all?" Ophelia found herself asking, even as they hobbled their way out of her lab. Amadeus followed, attempting to weave between their legs like he usually did, but Peter gently rerouted him with one foot. He seemed to process her question a moment later, and shook his head.

"I was careful."

"You say that like I'm not careful."

"No, no- I just- I was more careful tonight since you weren't there, alright?" he stammered, "That's what I mean."

"Good save, Parker."

"I'm serious!"

He started guiding her towards the bedroom, but Ophelia shook her head.

"Bathroom first. I have to pee."

"Alright. I need the first-aid kit anyway."

"I thought you said you weren't injured!" she blurted, suddenly twisting to look him over. Peter lifted his free hand, trying to wave her away.

"No, I- I'm fine, it's just a scratch, I'm just gonna wrap it up so I don't get blood on the sheets before it heals over."

"A scratch is an injury. Did you sleep through health class in elementary school or something?"

"C'mon, Ol's, with my healing-"

"I asked if you were hurt and you said no!"

"Yeah, well, you told me you set a timer for when you'd go to bed!" he shot back, though there was no venom in his voice. He nudged her shoulder, only hard enough to make his point without knocking her off-balance. He was awfully good at that. "Call it even?"

"Fine." she agreed, "Call it even."

[one-sad-human]

•Sweet Child O’ Mine• Izzy Stradlin

Pairing: Izzy Stradlin x Reader

Requested? Yes! By @rocknrollsoul76

Theme: Fluff

Warnings: Pregnancy, some language

Word Count: 1k

A/N: —

     You retch again in the toilet, your loving boyfriend holding back your hair and rubbing your back. You groan and press your hand to your forehead. You know you look like a disgusting mess, but Izzy looks at you unbothered and full of love.

     "You've been like this for almost two weeks, don't you think it's maybe time to call a doctor?" Izzy asks, his voice low to not aggravate your headache.

     "I'm fine, it's probably nothing," you say, pulling away from the toilet to lean against the cold porcelain of the bathtub, enjoying the feeling of the cool against your back. "I hate doctors."

     "I know, but I really think you should go see what's wrong." You sigh and nod in defeat. "Take a shower, I'll make the appointment for you."

     You smile gratefully. Izzy helps you stand and kisses your forehead tenderly before leaving you in the bathroom. You strip from your sweaty clothes and step into the warm shower.

Once you're done and washed up, you walk out of the bathroom to look for Izzy. You're head is still pounding slightly, but feels much better after the hot shower.

"I set up your appointment," Izzy says, beckoning you to sit next to him on the couch. "It's for today at three."

You scowl but nod, dropping your head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around your shoulders and pulls you closer.

"You feel any better?" He asks, rubbing circles on your slightly damp skin. You nod and nuzzle even closer to him, if that's humanly possible. "I'm supposed to go to the studio, you want me to call Axl and tell him I can't go?"

"No, no, go. I'm a big girl, I can go to the doctors myself." You're a little disappointed, you really hated the doctors and aren't too keen on going alone, but you didn't want to start a fight between Izzy and Axl either.

"Alright, but if it's something big call me, ok?" You nod and Izzy kisses your lips before standing. "Actually, call even if it's nothing but a virus like you say."

You laugh but nod. Izzy may seem cool and collected, but he really is a huge worrywart— especially when it comes to you. He's just a huge over thinker.

"I will, don't worry." He grabs his car keys and pecks your lips one last time before he's out the door.

     A few hours later and you're sat on one of those uncomfortable paper covered tables. The nurse had already poked and prodded at you along with asking uncomfortable questions.

     You twiddle your thumbs and glance at the clock every couple seconds. There's a short knock on the door before it's swung open by your nurse.

     "Congratulations, you're pregnant!"

     The words don't even really seep in. Shock takes over and you feel sick. The minutes after don't fully register, but you somehow end up sitting in your car.

     How would Izzy react? You have mentioned kids before, but they were more a faraway fantasy rather than reality. Kids are supposed to come after you and Izzy had settled down, after you had traveled and done everything you wanted, not now.

     You rest your head against the steering wheel and take a deep breath before starting up the car. Ironically, Sweet Child O' Mine is blaring through the speakers.

     You turn it down and begin the ride home, and you're so overtaken by your thoughts, you're surprised you got home in one piece. You glance at the phone when you walk inside your home, but you couldn't call.

     It wouldn't be right to tell him over the phone. You consider calling just to tell him that you'll talk when he gets home, but that would probably just make him even more nervous.

     So you wait, impatiently and full to the brim with nerves until he walks through the door.

     "Hey, you didn't call. Was it nothing?" Izzy asks, sitting across from you at the small kitchen table. You slowly put the magazine that you were staring at on the table.

     "Not exactly..." you say, trying to plan out your words carefully. "Izzy, I'm pregnant."

     Izzy keeps his cool, he nods slowly with his eyes scanning your face. He takes a moment before opening his mouth.

     "Ok." His short response renders you speechless.

     "'Ok?' That's all you're going to say?" You say, now getting frustrated. Izzy takes a sigh and smiles, making you even angrier.

     "I kind of had a hunch."

     "You had a hunch and didn't tell me?" You say. This conversation is simultaneously pissing you off and calming you down, because this is far from the worst case scenario.

     "I wasn't sure if I was right or not! I didn't want to get my hopes up," he says, taking your hand in his.

     "Get your hopes up? Were you hoping I was pregnant?"

     "A little. I was scared at first, but I just kept imagining how amazing it would be to have a family with you," he shrugs, "and then it wasn't so scary anymore."

     "Oh, Izzy." Tears spring to your eyes before you can stop them. He opens his arms and you take no time to rush into them. You sit on his lap and tuck your head into his neck. "How did you even know?"

     "You've been throwing up every morning, waking up in the middle of the night to eat the shittiest, most disgusting snacks I've ever seen," you giggle but he carries on, "but most importantly, your period is late."

     You lift your head slowly and gawk at him. How has he realized and not you?

     "How do you know that?" He shrugs.

     "We've been together forever, it isn't that hard to keep track of after a while." You start to tear up again. "Why're you crying? Don't get all sappy on me."

     "I love you," you say and nuzzle your face in Izzy's neck.

     "I love you, too," Izzy says, his voice notably softer than before. “And I can’t wait to be a dad.”

While kids weren’t part of your plan, you would’ve have it any other way. You know that you and Izzy would make great parents, and all the worrying you did just an hour ago was meaningless.

[slade-neko]

Saw this video game tag thing pop up on my dash a few days ago. Wanted to do it.

1. First game you played obsessively? Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I believe I was 5yo. Still waiting on that FF7 Remake treatment.

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc. Well if I play a game and like it, then I'll create sims of it. Does that count?

3. Who did you play with as a kid? My brother from the day I was born.

4. Who do you play with now? My brother FROM THE DAY I WAS BORN.

5. Ever use cheat codes? I wasn't lying when I made this post. {link}

6. Ever buy strategy guides? Yes! Mainly to look at the artwork though. (Don't need no guide!)

7. Any games you have multiple copies of? Lots of games, most being Left 4 Dead with 6 copies (3 Xbox 360, 1 PC case, 2 PC digitally.) What can I say, its a GOOD GAME!

8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection? Gold cartridge Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time (maybe that's rare?)

9. Most regrettable purchase? I don't regret my purchases, but I have received games I have never played like Cubix (PS2) no clue where that game came from, but I have it somehow. Madagascar (Xbox 360) came with my Xbox 360, never opened it from its case. And Monsters Inc. Scream Arena (Gamecube) or something... it was a gift.

10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours? No, because then I'd have to interact with people.

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games? I'm only friends with people BECAUSE of video games, so yes.

12. Ever get picked on for liking games? No, that'd be ridiculous.

13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has? Probably a lot, I'd say Call of Duty, but I technically played CoD 1, 2, and 4. The campaign mode was alright, but I don't really care for CoD games at ALL.

14. Favorite game music? Koji Kondo and Grant Kirkhope are two BIG ones.

15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick? Triforce is the most basic option, but I'd rather not get a tattoo.

16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL? Super Smash Bros. Brawl with hacks, but that was over a decade ago.

17. Ever lose a friend over a game? No, that'd be ridiculous.

18. Would you date someone that hates gaming? No, that'd be RIDICULOUS.

19. Favorite handheld console? PSP. 3DS is great, but PSP Monster Hunter has ALL of my portable gaming memories. Like playing in school after End of Grade tests with my friend.

20. Game that you know like the back of your hand? Sims 4 I like to think I know everything about Left 4 Dead. Quite a bit about Monster Hunter, more so of a series though than a specific game.

21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now? I'd say Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic. I loved it as a kid, but had a lot of complex pen & paper RPG mechanics that I never understood. I understand a lot more of it now, but its still complex as all heck. I just know you hit things, they die.

22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories? That's the only thing I wear.

23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into? Not sure so I'll list a few. Sims 4, Smash Bros. Brawl, Monster Hunter (its a series though), or Left 4 Dead

24. First Pokemon game? Leaf Green

25. Were you ever an arcade game player? No, don't like paying to play.

26. Ever form any gaming rivalries? No.

27. Game that makes you rage? I don't get mad at games, but I had a custom modded Hard Eight mutation in Left 4 Dead that is absolute bullsh*t!

28. Ever play in a tournament? No, because then I'd have to interact with people.

29. What is your gaming set up? A giant wall of video game consoles spanning from NES to Switch, 4 TVs, but I sit at a desk with a PC.

30. How many consoles do you own? "I own every console that's ever existed." - I Don't Play Games When I Play Games (My STRENTH) original song by Smooth McGroove BUT no seriously I own 32 consoles including handhelds.

31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches? Yes. 3DS gave me headaches though I only really played with the 3D feature in Ocarina of Time 3D. I think my eyes broke because I couldn't get my 3D to work very well after.

32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic? Sure I play games based on a lot of things. Literally any anime game. If I had to pick Dragon Ball Xenoverse is kinda like a dream Dragon Ball game. Oh, Attack on Titan 2 is pretty neat too!

33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games? Some SEGA plug-n-play thing once. Played it like once and now its lost to time (or my closet.)

34. Do either of your parents play video games? Yes. Mom and Dad played NES Super Mario Bros. My Dad went HARD at that game until he saved the Princess. Then he quit forever.

35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop? "Hi. Welcome to Gamestop!"I never want to hear that again, but it was my main store until I went full digital/ online orders.

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game? No, I don't tend to get upset or emotional, but Bill dying in Left 4 Dead made me pretty pissed.

37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination? Never played it. I don't really play "bad" games, but maybe Sims 4.

38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like? The Sims 4

39. A sequel that you would die for them to make? Dragon's Dogma 2 WHICH I think is actually in development, so I'd have to say Fallout New Vegas 2. C'mon Bethesda you cowards, hand the keys back over to Obsidian so they can make another good Fallout game!

40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls? Two part question, two answers. VR Headset to immerse in world, yes. Motion Controls, no.

41. A genre that you just can’t get into? MOBAs and MMOs. I don't like paying to keep playing.

42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness? Nintendo 64 opened me up to what video games could be as a kid. Sad to say my parents' NES didn't really do that for me. And years later Fallout 3 was a big game changer for me too.

43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else? Every day of my LIFE.

44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters? None. I'd rather emulate.

45. How are you at Mario Kart? Pretty dang good. 3-STARS MARIO KART WII, BABY!

46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon? Yes, both of those. I preferred when Animal Crossing had more character to it. New Horizons looks so pretty, but feels so bland compared to classic AC.

47. Do you like competitive games? No. Not really. Usually amongst friends or if I can get competitive against AI Bots. I love my machine bot friends cause they don't cry like 10 year olds when they lose.

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character? Too long. I've seriously restarted games because I wasn't happy with my character's appearance.

49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character? Yes, I am always the magic man, my brother is always brute warrior, and my friend is the ranger.

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create? I don't really know. Honestly, I'd rather mod already good games to make them better than create something completely new.

51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep? No, that'd be ridiculous. But I've had a friend fall asleep playing games at my house 3 different times and currently dozes off during our Minecraft sessions. So, maybe that's not a completely ridiculous thing after all.

52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid? Kirby 64 apparently. My brother tells me we had to count out pennies to buy it. I must've been too young with no recollection, but I believe it.

53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days? It's good if its not in the game's files from the beginning and is actually developed AFTER launch... and pre-order bonuses should be standard DLC a month or two later. Some games have content lost to time because of that pre-order bullsh*t.

54. Do you give in to Steam sales? Of course. If you want a game and its on sale then why not? I typically wait just for Steam sales to get games.

55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them? No? I typically make people and characters I like in Sims. I've made villains like Dio, but he's an anime villain and I don't really HATE him despite the horrible things he's done.

56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests? No. Never played that game.

57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements? I try to for all the games I really like.

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick? The Sims 4, Skyrim, & Fallout: New Vegas. Mods make them live forever. Left 4 Dead and Monster Hunter are good choices too.

59. Do you play any cell phone games? Those aren't games.

60. Do you know the Konami Code? No? But I'll take a guess. Is it make an IP and forget it exists?

61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever? Keep forever... even the bad ones.

62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game? PS4 Pro for Monster Hunter World. It was basically for early access since the PC version was being developed and releasing after PS4, but I don't like waiting.

63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? Sort of. Been to anime cons and walked into the gaming tournament rooms only to walk out less than 10 minutes later.

64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming? No, but I'm going to be doing that soon, hopefully.

65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file? GameShark for N64, PS2, Gameboy, and Action Replay for Gamecube, DS, 3DS. And no not really, I would cheat responsibly... but there was this one time at school my friend and I borrowed another friend's Gameboy game, loaded it up with my Gameshark, tried playing, it crashed, loaded it back up, save file corrupted... we just stared at each other jaws dropped, "Here's your game back, dude. Make sure you don't play it til you get back home!"

66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it? No, but I remember seeing them on billboards in the game DRIV3R on PS2.

67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share? Every game I play is filled with happy memories (mostly.)

68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool? These tiger plushes. My brother got white and I got orange. They were the coolest. Got a butt load of tickets from some jackpot spinning light game thing as I was good at the timing with repeated jackpot hits.

69. In your opinion, best game ever made? I've played quite a few masterpiece games, but to pick one, I'd say Fallout: New Vegas

70. Very first game you ever beat? Super Mario 64. I was a mere child on a Sunday morning and ate celebratory pancakes made by my Dad.

Wow, that was long... I get the feeling this was supposed to be a "send me ask with numbers" thing, but answering all at once is more fun.