#and of course fucking fox news thinks it's the cutest shit ever no surprise there

[hunter-rodrigez]

At first, I thought this was satire gone waaay too far... but no, IT'S REAL!

(Photos censored by me because I am not gonna subjugate my followers to any more of this disgusting display of celebrity whoreship)

Somebody honest to god thought dressing up INTENSIVE CARE UNIT babies as fucking taylor swift album covers would not only be appropriate, but also be cute and fun... breathing tubes and all...

I don't think any news story has ever made me feel sick to my stomach... but seeing this makes me legitimately feel like I am about to throw up.

This is cruel and unusual punishment

[cuban-feminist-that-gives-a-hoot]

Okay! (MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR PERSONA 5)

So, I beat Persona 5 a few days ago and I have thoughts. Lots of them. They’re going under the cut because spoilers! Seriously, there are spoilers in here. Do not read until you’ve beaten the game. Short answer for what I’m about to say is this: I love Persona 5. It is the best Persona game ever and makes Final Fantasy XV look like a goddamn weak shit of a game (well, more than it already does)

On to the spoilers!

Now that we’re under the spoiler category, let’s talk about the twists and everything else in it.

1. Akechi’s plan to get back at Shido is probably the dumbest plan I’ve ever heard of a supposedly smart person come up with. So he hires himself out as an assassin for him in order to get close and gain his trust, and decide that, once he becomes Prime Minister, he’s going to shame him with the knowledge that he’s your dad?

*takes a deep breath* Why in all hells on this earth did he think Shido would feel shame for abandoning him and his mom? Hell, Shido’s shadow flat out admitted that he was going to kill him after becoming Prime Minister. What the fuck was he going to do about that? This plan of his is convoluted and dumb and he is dumb for coming up with it in the first place. The only reason why the plan isn’t any dumber is simply because Akechi’s a teenager and even the smartest of teenagers do not always come up with great plans.

2. The twist about Akechi being the one selling you out and the killer is, well, one that is obvious if you’re paying attention. Yes, it’s mainly the Pancakes bit in June and it’s the biggest clue the game throws at you. Remember this about Persona 5: If something in the game seems off, there’s a reason for it and it will be explained.

3. Getting on the path to the true, good ending is far easier than in vanilla Persona 4 and Persona 4 Golden. In Persona 4, you had to stop them from throwing Namatame in the T.V, name Adachi as the culprit, and don’t go home when you’re prompted to on the last day that you’re in Inaba. However, the answer choices are not so simple and clear-cut in that game compared to Persona 5. In Persona 5, it’s easily just this: Don’t cut a deal with anybody and don’t sell anyone out. You do those two things and you’ll get the good ending with no trouble at all.

4. Goddamn, Shido’s a fucking prick. This asshole wants to do all this shit simply because he wants to be Prime Minister? Seriously?! When the most minor of shit that he’s done was frame you for something you didn’t do, it makes all of Shido’s other shitty actions all the worse for it. I will say, however, that it was sweet, sweet retribution when I kicked his ass for all the shit he put our beloved Trickster through. Also, I can’t be the only one that felt massive shades of Donald Trump in this entire thing with Shido, right?

5. The playable characters: Holy fucking shit, I love them. There is not one character in the Phantom Thieves group that is boring or bad. Everything about these characters are lovable and I want to protect them. There was some neat stuff too, like Ryuji having his moment in Shido’s palace by getting the lifeboat for the team or Makoto coming up with the plan to trick Akechi at the police station to Futaba using a character quirk to bug Akechi’s phone. Like, I am so happy that this team is not a bunch of idiots. Akechi’s smart, but the Phantom Thieves are way smarter than they appear to be. They almost figured out that Akechi was sketchy since the Pancakes incident and they planned for the Trickster to get caught and be interrogated by Sae. This is some meticulous planning done by the team and I love it. <3

Now, onto the characters themselves:

 - Ryuji’s a sweetheart. He’s a lovely mix of Yosuke and Kanji. Not exactly an idiot, but someone loyal and determined to stop Kamoshida. He is someone that would’ve sacrificed his life if it meant saving someone. He’s a hero and someone that didn’t deserve the bullshit he went through. I didn’t realize it at first, but after @ominous-musings mentioned it, he also reminds me of another blond, secretly smart hero: Zell Dincht from Final Fantasy VIII. And no, I am not kidding about Zell being smart. Because he is. He’s very smart.

 - Ann’s a sweetheart and watching her tear her mask off and getting her Persona was so, sooooo satisfying (hell, just about all of them were). I like her. She’s amazing and the only reason I didn’t date her was because Morgana was so in love with her and I honor the bro code immensely.

 - Speaking of Morgana... OMG, I am so, so glad that Morgana’s origins were explained. He is such a darling and, despite the name and the voice, is male. He clearly identifies as such, so no need to assume that Morgana’s anything but male. Cutest Persona mascot ever. Teddie has lost his throne as the cutest and, so has Koromaru (and don’t get me wrong, I love them both. Who doesn’t love Combat Dog and Pun-making Shadow Bear?). I am so happy that he didn’t die in the end. Also, he gets the best moment in the true ending. Clearly, he could work as a mechanic in the future. XD

 - Makoto, holy shit. She is awesome. Her codename is Queen and she exemplifies it. She is the goddamn queen and brains of the operation. She is amazing. Were it not for the next character, I would’ve made her my girlfriend. Everything about her is amazing. <3

 - Holy fucking shit, Futaba is a darling, protect her from all the evils in the world! She is such a sweetheart and I love her. I made her my girlfriend in my first playthrough and I do not regret it. She is amazing and darling. I love her persona, both initial and ultimate. I just love her. *_*

 - Yusuke is a goddamn weirdo. He is also a bit judgy as hell, but you know what? I like his weird, judgy ass. He’s got some of the best lines and his weirdness just fits in so well. Also, his mask is really nice, merely because I am a sucker of the fox motif he has going on with his costume.

 - Then, there’s Haru. Now, Haru unfortunately got the short stick in characterization, but the little bit we do get is that she’s sweet and kind. She probably has one of the best Thief costumes out there, but her civilian outfits are... well, even with money, you can’t buy good style and fashion sense. Also, her hair is nice. I like her hair. <3

 - Goro Akechi. *takes a deep breath* How dare he presumes to be the second coming of the Ace Detective?! There is only ONE Ace Detective out there and that is Naoto Shirogane! If anyone should be the second coming of the Ace Detective, it’s Makoto Niijima. *clears throat* Beyond that, Akechi can be an irritating tit even before his betrayal comes out. Too bad the twist of him being a villain doesn’t surprise the more observant. I mean, for hell’s sake, his codename is Crow. I have learned to never trust anyone named Crow in any context. Also, apparently Akechi/MC is the most popular ship on Ao3. I get why, I really do, but I don’t like it. :P

 - And finally, we have the Trickster himself. And wow, he is pretty. He’s prettier than both the P3 and P4 protagonists and has a bit more of a personality to him. I’m glad he does say a bit more too. He’s cocky, a show-off, and has one of the best smirks around. Also, he has an amazing sense of justice (Hell, all of the playable characters, save Akechi, do). The reason why he got probation was just to save someone else that was being attacked and yet, because of Shido’s dickishness, he got arrested and charged for something he was innocent of. His thief outfit is so damn slick and very well-designed. Also, Arsene is one of the most slickly-designed starter personas ever. And I can’t wait for a 2nd playthrough, just so that I can have Satanael in my party. *_*

6. The Confidant links are also amazing. Just about all of them are good people. My favorites was the Sun, Hierophant, Moon, and Star arcanas. Mainly because all the people with them are just amazing, especially Yoshida and Sojiro.

Holy shit, Yoshida’s entire link is amazing. He’s a politician that has fucked up in the past, but is determined to become an honest, truthful politician that wants to do the right thing. Given the political climate, we need more politicians like Yoshida.

The other one, Sojiro, is the dude that took you in and stuffed you in the attic above his coffee shop. He, like all the other adults, does not have a good first impression, but holy shit, by the end of this game, you want him to adopt you. This is the kind of dude that would’ve adopted the entire group and have them as his own misfit family if he could. He’s such a sweetheart with a gruff exterior. He adopted Futaba after the last relative, a shitty uncle, treated her so horribly that he paid a lot of money to get her out of there and give her a loving home. And then when he finds out that they’re the Phantom Thieves, he’s worried for them, of course, but he’s also accepting of them. Sojiro Sakura is, without a doubt, the best parental figure in a Persona game. Move over, Dojima, we have a new parental figure. <3

All in all, if you haven’t played this game, then what the fuck are you doing reading this? Go get this game and play it! If you only have a PS3, I promise you that it doesn’t look bad on the PS3 at all. It looks excellent on both systems and is worth your time in playing and beating it. If you want to see what a good story and good character development looks like, play this game. Unlike FFXV, where I kept asking myself, “WTF did Squix spend their time on with this game?!”, I don’t have to ask where Atlus spent their time on this game. How they spent their time was making a masterpiece. *_____*