#and now their opinion on gay people is ''our grandson is one of the good ones''
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decolonizepalestine has a great article on pinkwashing (and other types of washing)
Pride month is in four days and heres a reminder not to fall for pinkwashing
QUEERS FOR PALESTINE
OUR SOLIDARITY IS STRONGER THAN THEIR BIGOTRY
#funny (bad) story: my mom ofc believes in the pinkwashing stuff#however my grandparents (her parents) took literal years to accept the fact that i'm gay#and now their opinion on gay people is ''our grandson is one of the good ones''#that's just my family sure but the pro-lgbt stuff is for show i promise. the article elaborates#there's not a place in the world where it isn't for show to some degree#in general especially if u live in us/can/aus/nz/w europe u should know lgbt laws can be used for posturing for another political goal#even if a society is lgbt friendly they can use it to brag essentially. and the other way around too#like how a bunch of countries call lgbt a ''western phenomenon'' as a scapegoat for oppression/corruption/etc#or how some european countries may institute pro lgbt laws just to get into the eu#and in this case it's ''we're more civilized than those barbarians we care about our people they don't we should kill them all'' etc#so yes please don't fall for pinkwashing#unrelated but this is also a reason why i laugh at right wing grifters who call. idk. russia Based And Trad while the us is apparently#Overrun With Woke. if anything the us is the country without abortion and higher church attendance#(not that russia is actually ''woke'' or anything ofc)#ditto with lw grifters (like that guy on tumblr you know who i'm talking about) who end up circling back to calling lgbt a#petit bourgeoise cause or smth like that
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Nursing Home au
Patton works at the nursing home as a registered nurse, because the man truly cares for people.
He oversees the activities of the rest of the nursing staff, and he’s always keeping them in high spirits.
There’s a vacancy for a nursing aide. Who could possibly fill that position?
It’s Virgil.
At first, Patton honestly doesn’t think Virgil should have been hired there.
Patton had seen Virgil during the hiring process, and his personality didn’t seem like a … good fit. Too closed-off and kinda gruff, and probably not a good bedside manner, right?
Plus there was that criminal record to consider …
But the nursing home administrator hires him anyway, and Virgil joins the staff.
Patton keeps a close eye on Virgil.
Yes he feels guilty, but even Patton isn’t free from prejudices.
Virgil goes about his work very meticulously.
He arrives five minutes early every day, without fail.
He never complains about the tasks he’s been given, just quietly accepts them in a way that makes Patton and the others wonder what he’s really thinking.
He doesn’t talk casually with the other staff much, giving short answers whenever prompted.
Patton worries about the staff’s morale as a team.
Surprisingly, he starts hearing a lot of praise about Virgil. Not from the other staff members, but from the patients themselves.
One of them, a man named Roman, sounds like he’s complaining about him.
“And then he started criticizing my favorite movies!”
“I’m so sorry sir, I’ll talk to him about that.”
“What are you talking about? Kid had some good points. I like him.”
Patton starts subtly bringing up Virgil in conversations while visiting with the patients. For some, he doesn’t even have to warm up to the subject. They stop him in the hallway.
“Patton hun, you know that new boy with the eye-makeup?”
“Yes ma’am, that would be Virgil.”
“He’s so sweet. He helped me with my phone, it’s one of those smart ones? It wasn’t working right, and he fixed it. He’s a smart boy.”
The biggest sign is when one patient—Logan Crofters, who’s a notorious nitpicker—actually voices his approval of Virgil.
“He’s not an idiot,” is all Logan says on the matter, which coming from him, it’s high praise.
Patton doesn’t really understand yet why the patients have taken such a liking to him, but he endeavors to try harder to see who Virgil really is. Mostly he’s glad that his first impression seems to be wrong.
Virgil, for his part, doesn’t understand why the patients like him either.
He just knows that they do.
One of them goes out of their way to call him over to ask for his opinion on what color scarf to knit for their granddaughter.
Another one makes a point to introduce him to their visiting family.
Lots of them seem to like to talk his ear off in general and give him life advice.
Virgil doesn’t really mind it. He’s not used to people wanting to talk to him so much, and to be honest he could use some of the advice.
And the stories they have to share are kinda wild.
He likes bantering with the one old dude, Roman.
“I’ll have you know I’ve killed many a dragon witch in my day.”
“Was this before or after you went senile?”
“Brat.”
“Old fart.”
And then there’s Logan, the elderly man in a wheelchair. He’s probably the smartest man Virgil has ever talked to.
“You’d be surprised how many people assume I’m stupid.”
“You’re in a wheelchair, not braindead dude.”
“Yes, but I am old and crippled, and many people cannot separate physical inadequacy from mentality.”
“Well most people are idiots.”
Logan shows off his dentures in a rare grin.
After those two, there’s Remus.
Even the other staff members warn Virgil in advance about him.
It takes Virgil a month into working there to realize that he’s Roman’s brother.
It really should have been obvious.
“Virgil, where would you bury a body?”
“Why bury it when you can just burn it? Or feed it to some pigs; they’ll eat anything.”
“… oh, I like you.”
Okay, not so obvious, because Remus is a crazy old coot. But he’s got a lot of ideas and grand stories like Roman, only darker themed.
Virgil is convinced Remus is fucking with him to get a reaction out of him.
“He only says all that to get a rise out of you,” Logan confirms.
Challenge accepted.
Virgil continues being a bomb ass nurse.
He’s always super self conscious around his superior, Patton.
He knows Patton is wary of him and Virgil is terrified of messing up in front of him.
Or messing up in general. Poor babe really is too hard on himself.
Even the patients worry about him from time to time.
“You getting enough sleep at night, son? Ya got bags under your eyes!”
“That’s makeup, sir. You know that’s my makeup.”
“Hahaha, but it was funny, right? But seriously, are you sleeping enough?”
And Virgil can’t count how many times they’ve thrown food at him.
“You’re too skinny. You need to eat more.”
“I already eat a lot. I’ve got a high metabolism.”
“Is that one of those social media sites?”
“Roman, if you don’t stop acting stupid—”
“Kidding! I have an Instagram after all. Which you should totally follow me, by the way.”
It’s like suddenly being adopted and Virgil is now the grandson to many old folk.
He’s not even surprised when someone tries to set him up with one of their grandchildren.
What does surprise him is that it’s Logan.
“You should meet my grandson, Remy. Judging from what I’ve observed of your personality, you two would be compatible.”
“Huh, that’s funny, Roman’s got a grandson named Remy too.”
“Yes, Remy is both our grandson.”
“Wait, what?”
“We used to be married, Roman and I. Didn’t you know he was my ex-husband?”
Somehow Virgil has missed that.
But he is so going to grill them for details, because Roman with Logan?
Roman jumps on board when Virgil brings it up.
“Yes! Remy! You would be perfect for him! I can’t believe I didn’t think of it first!”
Virgil laughs it off because they can’t be serious.
Of course, they’re very serious.
Virgil is doing his rounds when he walks into Roman’s room and a guy not too far off from his own age standing there in a leather jacket and shades.
“Oh, you are cute,” the guy says in a way that lets Virgil know that he’s clearly heard about Virgil before.
Roman is exceedingly proud.
Virgil officially meets Remy, the grandson.
It’s awkward.
By the end of it, Virgil apparently has a date after work that he swears he doesn’t remember agreeing to.
Remy’s waiting for him in the lobby.
“You ready for the night of your life, babe?”
“…”
“Wait, you’re walking the opposite direction. Come back.”
Virgil goes out to eat with Remy.
Remy actually apologizes for his grandfathers.
“They’re cool old gay dudes, but they can be really pushy. They’ve been complaining about me being single for like yeaaars. Um, maybe I like being single?”
“Do you?”
“Okay, a bitch is lonely, but gurl, I can find a man or whoever on my own, amirite?”
“Why’d you agree to this then?”
“’Cause you really are cute and seem cool. Plus can we just talk about your aesthetic for a sec? What products do you use on your hair? The purple dye is perf.”
It’s not really a date.
But Virgil might have made a friend out of it, at least.
Virgil finds himself talking about it the next day with Patton.
It just sort of happens.
“They set me up with their grandson.”
“Oh Remy? You’ve met him?”
“Yeah…”
“Well? How’d it go?”
“Uh … I’m not sure? Like, I’m pretty sure we established it wasn’t really a date. But I think we might …”
“Might what?”
“Be … friends?”
“That’s nice, Virgil,” Patton says in a way that Virgil can tell he means it.
Virgil shrugs. “Yeah, I don’t know what I’m gonna tell his granddads though. Their gonna jump on me as soon as they see me. God old people love to gossip more than teenagers.”
“Just try to let them down easy, okay? They really adore Remy and just want him to be happy.”
It’s the first conversation Virgil has with him that doesn’t make him nervous.
The days go by and Virgil is starting to feel like he’s really settling in.
He still doesn’t understand why the patients like him so much.
Not until Patton finally sheds some insight.
It’s a busy enough day, and then Remus has one of his episodes.
He’s screaming and the other staff members who are more experienced with dealing with him are trying to settle him down.
Virgil hears the commotion from down the hall and comes running into the day room where all the patients gather and visit or watch tv.
“He gets like this sometimes,” Logan tells him. Roman sits silently beside him holding his hand, lips pressed in a thin white line and eyes not looking away from the chaotic scene.
Remus is throwing things at the nurses, yelling something about how the lights are trying to eat him.
“It’s best to stay back, Virgil,” Logan tells him.
Virgil doesn’t listen.
He goes and turns off the lights.
There’s still enough sunlight filtering in through the windows, enough to see. But everyone looks around.
Virgil pushes through the other staff.
He nudges Patton aside who had been attempting to console him.
Patton wants to pull him back. Remus is in a vulnerable state of mind right now and it could be bad for either of them.
But Virgil leans in and starts talking in a low voice to Remus.
And … it’s working.
Remus’s screams taper off.
He doesn’t look any less confused or scared. Just subdued.
“I want to go,” he says, eyes looking through everyone there. “Want to go back to my room now. Want to go back.”
“Okay, we can go, Remus. Let’s go,” Virgil says and guides him out.
It’s a slow process, but they make it to his room, Patton hovering close the entire way.
They give Remus a mild sedative to help him relax.
When Virgil walks out of the room, Roman is standing there.
He doesn’t say anything to Virgil, but he claps a hand on his shoulder.
There’s gratitude glistening in his eyes.
Roman goes into the room.
Virgil leaves for the break room. He’s definitely earned a break.
Plus his hands are kind of shaking, but shhhhh, don’t tell anyone.
After a long time, Patton comes into the room.
He sits at the table with Virgil.
“He’ll be fine,” Patton assures him.
“I didn’t say I was worried for him.”
Patton smiles and shakes his head.
“They all love you, you know?” he surprises Virgil by saying. “The patients. You do a lot of good by them.”
Virgil shrugs. “I don’t see why. I’m just me. Just doing my job. Nothing special.”
“You treat them like people.”
Patton leans closer over the table. Virgil doesn’t look away.
“You listen to them. And you talk to them, like they’re people. And for them, these people who have lost a lot of their independence and are often left forgotten here by even their own families—that’s worth a lot.”
Virgil doesn’t know if he believes all that.
But it’s a nice thought.
#sanders sides#patton#patton sanders#virgil#virgil sanders#roman#roman sanders#logan#logan sanders#remus#remus sanders#remy#remy sanders#nursing home au
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Hunting Season (sambucky) – Part 2
Series Masterlist
Summary: The Barnes family is your average rich people circus. With Bucky’s post-breakup financial depression, and a literal treasure hunt at stake, his best friend Sam finds himself in a mad situation in order to help him. They sure can pretend to be together, but that’s just the easy part.
Words: 3810
"So how do we do this?" Sam asked.
He was brushing his teeth with the door open so he could glance at Bucky, who sat on the edge of Sam's bed. He was going to give his friend the bed back once they fully decided to go to sleep and Bucky took the couch, again, but for now, he was enjoying the comfort of a bedroom. He always did find comfort in Sam and his hospitality, after all. He remembered that one Christmas the Barnes spent in the French Alps, the one Bucky avoided because he had just broken up with Rumlow for the first time; Sam was kind enough to invite him to the Wilsons for the holidays, and that was when Bucky realized where his friend got his charm and kindness. Sam's entire family were the most welcoming people Bucky had ever encountered, which made him wish he had been born into a home like that.
As Sam spit the toothpaste and rinsed his mouth, Bucky thought of the specificities of their plan. At the realization that, if his parents had sat through several different relationships with the same Brock Rumlow, they probably wouldn't blink at the sight of a new man, he felt that the plan wouldn't be too complicated after all.
"I don't know." He shrugged, "Can you pretend to be gay?"
While Bucky's question was asked nonchalantly, Sam received it like a suckerpunch. It was supposed to be an easy answer, however the topic was a delicate one for Sam. Not that Bucky knew anything about it, but Sam kept a few secrets to himself. And since his friend had only ever seen him dating girls...
"Easy peasy." Sam faked a smile before cleaning his chin with a clean towel, "It's pretending I like you that's gonna be tough." He joked.
"Funny." Bucky said without a hint of amusement.
Eventually, Sam returned to his original concerns. The stakes weren't too high for him, but if Bucky got caught with this, he would never hear the end of it. Who knew what his parents would put him through, and Bucky had already mentioned something about being banned from the annual hunt for life, losing all hopes of ever getting the slightest fraction of Nana's money. Those two million dollars could mean everything to Bucky, so they really had to put on a show.
He walked back to his room and gestured his guest to give him some room, next to him. Bucky granted him the space, and they both sat in their own seriousness.
"No, but seriously, do we have to kiss and stuff?" Sam asked.
Bucky reflected on it.
"Maybe. I mean, we gotta make it believable."
The other man nodded, taking in the idea of kissing Bucky, even if just for an act, until Bucky's words caught him by surprise.
"Wanna practice?"
Sam raised his eyebrows, and cleared his throat with nervousness, "Uh, sure."
Nevertheless, he was met by a very amused Bucky, who happened to have been holding in his laughter. When he cracked up, falling back on the bed with pride on his own joke, Sam de-tensed.
"I'm kidding, dude." He threw a light punch to Sam's back, "We pro'ly won't even kiss through the entire week. Family's real uptight when they wanna be."
Sam let out a breath only he could hear, hopefully, and pretended to be comfortable with the entire situation.
"Okay, but if we do have to kiss, it better look real."
-
Day 1.
The time had come, and spirits weren't great. Sam had his shit together, luckily, but Bucky wasn't as confident. In the ride from the station to the lake house, they both sat at the back of the taxi, trying to prepare for the upcoming week. Eight full days of acting couldn't be too easy, but Sam was calm.
James looked the polar opposite, as he tried to keep his cool, mumbling to himself.
"Deep breaths." He told Sam like he was doing the calming for both of them, and it brought a small smirk to Sam's lips.
He watched his friend breathe in and out with his eyes closed, and he feared he might have a mental breakdown before they even got the chance to reach the house.
"Hey, I got this." He reminded Bucky, in attempts to ease his worries.
"God, I really hope you do."
Suddenly, the panoramic of the gigantic residence came to their field of vision. The two-story house had direct access to the lake, along with stored kayaks and sailing equipment. There was a -- floating there, unused, marking the family's possessions, and facing the big garden that separated the house from the water.
As soon as the vehicle stopped in the entrance, an employee came out to take care of their bags. Sam gave Bucky an odd look, himself not being used to maids and being served like that, to which Bucky only pressed his lips together. That's the Barnes way.
"Oh, come inside!" Bucky's mother welcomed them, ushering them inside.
They both obeyed and walked up the three steps to the door, finally entering the house. Before either of them got the chance to speak, though, Winnifred began theatricalizing.
"You poor things, it's so hot outside!" she lamented while pressing a hand to her chest.
Bucky tried, and failed, to reject her drama, "It's not that-"
"You must be Samuel." She ignored her son, and continued to ramble over Sam's attempts to at least say hello, "You want a drink? It's too hot."
The guest eyed Bucky, who was just staring into nothingness. If his eyes could speak, they would have been saying 'yep, sounds about right.'
"Uh, sure." Sam accepted, "Thank you, ma'am. I'm so glad-"
"There he is!" he was cut off by Bucky's father, who walked into the welcoming hall with his arms extended, "The man of the hour."
The two men shook hands.
"Sir." Sam nodded.
"Oh, please, it's George."
Sam opened his mouth to say something polite, when the woman interrupted him once more.
"And Winnifred." She added.
This time, Sam waited for a gap in the conversation. He hadn't been able to lay out a single sentence to the married couple, so he awkwardly waited for them to interrupt him, but when the silence extended for too long, he smiled, nervously.
"George and Winnifred, then." He agreed, nodding, "It's nice to meet you."
"James tells me you teach." Winnifred jumped right into the discussion.
"I do." Sam smiled, "History."
"Which school?"
"Mom, don't be a snob." Bucky warned her.
"I'm just asking him a question." She pledged innocence, as usual.
As much as the question of academic elitism bothered Sam, he had to remain polite. He hated gratifying rich people like that by disclosing the snob university where he worked. Sometimes he wanted to quit and go back to where he started, small high schools, poorly funded programs... for now, though, he had unpaid student debt and a two million dollar hunt to win.
"It's alright." He bit back his pride and dismissed it, "I'm teaching at Princeton right now."
Winnifred raised her eyebrows with one half excitement and one half surprise.
"That's a fine school." She showed how impressed she was.
The woman probably thought Bucky couldn't do better than the family friend business trash. She probably figured her son was too stupid for a Princeton professor, much less to settle down with one. It didn't add to the bad image Sam already had of her.
"I have some contacts in Harvard, could get you a spot." George butt in.
"Dad."
"Thank you, sir, that's not necessary." Sam rejected very gracefully, "I love my job and I certainly can't leave my students."
George gave him a respectful nod, while Winnifred gave his son a look, one that yelled well done. The interaction had gone better than any of them had expected, making Bucky forget every concern he had before. When they moved to the living room, which was right next door, the fake couple exchanged some victorious glances. Feeling much more confident now, Bucky pointed to the old lady sitting at the end of the room.
"Sam, I'm honored to introduce you to Nana Barnes." He dramatized in order to annoy the woman.
She looked like the kind of grandmother who had strong opinions on people and therefore, favorites, and Bucky sure acted like the favorite, teasing her with the confidence that she wouldn't mind. Nana didn't bother standing up. She was wearing a conservative black dress, reading glasses and she held a glass of Champaign on her hand. The matriarch look suited her wonderfully.
"I've heard many good things." Sam approached her, extending his hand.
While shaking the young man's hand, Nana eyed him up and down.
"You're handsome." She said in a powerful tone, "Much better looking than the last one."
Nervously, Sam fixed his tie and cleared his throat.
"Thank you." He frowned amusingly, not sure if he was meant to take the compliment or not.
"Are you an idiot like him?"
Sam tilted his head, "Excuse me?"
"That Rumlow boy, he was an ass. Couldn't tell his south from his north. Now, are you a smart man?"
Sam looked back at Bucky, who merely gave him a thumbs up as he backed away and left the two alone. It was only then that Sam noticed Bucky's parents had abandoned him as well. He accepted his situation, and sat down on the chair next to her.
"I... like to think so." He smiled, "I sure hope so, or else I'm teaching the next generation to be just as dumb."
"Ah, so I've heard." She spoke like it was the first thing she fully approved of, "It's a nice break from all the dull business men in our family. Is Jamie planning to live off your Princeton check?"
This time, the harsh question caught him less off-guard, "No, ma'am, I'm just helping him get back on his feet."
The lady narrowed her eyes like she was quizzing the new boyfriend.
"How long have you known my grandson?"
The fake couple had prepared a whole concocted tale, but right there, in front of the matriarch who worshipped the truth, he figured telling her the real story wouldn't hurt.
"I don't even know. Probably... six years?" the realness behind his words made Nana seem interested, "We met through other people, next thing I know we're best friends for good. Couldn't shake him off my back."
The woman laughed, "He can't help it, the Barnes have bloodsucker in their DNA."
Bucky had mentioned at some point, how the woman referred to the Barnes as simply the family she had married into when it came to pointing out their flaws, yet called herself a Barnes when it suited her. Sam, however, held in any type of snarky comment or laughter, and made an effort to remain excessively polite. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep the façade for long, or at least not for the entire week, so he made sure to make the best first impression possible.
"No, Bucky's not like that.” He defended the man, although he immediately decided against contradicting the matriarch; he raised one hand in retreat, “I mean, you've known him all his life, so what do I know? But, uh… he's not that kind of friend."
The last word brought a smear of annoyance to the woman’s features, considering Sam had used it twice already.
"You can say boyfriend, Samuel, I'm not a prude." She protested.
Suddenly, Sam realized he was being too genuine. The way he spoke about Bucky was so truthful, he forgot for a second that he was meant to pretend to be his loving partner.
"Yes, boyfriend. Sorry."
In the welcoming hall, Bucky was thanking the service for getting his bags upstairs. He noticed a taxi parked outside, and he figured his cousin or one of his uncles had arrived, but as he wiped sweat from his forehead, the door opened, and his sister Rebecca walked in. As to be expected, she was dressed to impress in a light blue skirt and a sunny hat, wearing the additional drops of sweat that fell down her neck like an accessory.
"What are you doing here?” Bucky ambushed her, not too happy to see her, “You said you wouldn't make it."
The young woman didn’t seem offended by her welcoming, for she knew she was about to lie.
"I decided to spend some time with my family." She smiled brightly, reaching to hug her brother.
"Bull.” He stopped her. “What happened?"
Rebecca sighed, "Why do you always assume something's happened?"
"Because I'm the one picking up your slacks and shoving it under the rug." Bucky spat, looking around to check that nobody was listening.
"My hero." She rolled her eyes.
"Someone has to keep making you look perfect."
The words hit her, but she didn’t wince. Her face fell minimally, which was her own way of accepting it. Bucky was right, after all, because for years he had helped her out in every singl one of her fuck-ups, never asking for anything back, which resulted in their parents beliving their little girl to be a practical angel, while James remained the family screw up. The thing was, both siblings were emotional trainwrecks, but Bucky was the only one who got any backlash for it.
"So what was it?” he asked again, this time much more relaxed, “Boyfriend? Boyfriend's wife?"
"Actually...” Rebecca lowered her voice, “It's money. I need to win the hunt this year."
Bucky couldn’t believe his ears. Rebecca had only joined the family vacations to ruin his plans.
"I need to win the hunt this year." He was quick to shake his head.
"You don't understand, I owe a shit ton or money, James.” Unfortunately, his sister was just as enthusiastic about her own issues, “It's bad."
"Then get a loan from dad." He proposed in a very order-like tone, for he knew their father would give Rebecca money, while never offering Bucky a penny.
"He can't know I'm in debt!" she whisper-shouted.
Bucky took a deep breath and massaged his temples, still in disbelief that they were in this situation to begin with. He had brought his best friend into this, for all sakes. He couldn’t lose the money to his little sister. He wanted to explain to her how he was penny-less and had been enduring their parent’s hellfire for weeks, but Rebecca already knew that, and if that alone didn’t bring out her empathy, no amount of persuasion would. He wanted to tell her exactly what kind of treatment he had received in their parent’s house, but of course, Rebecca must have already guessed.
As much as he wanted to keep fighting, Sam joined them, and the two siblings were distracted from the argument.
"Samuel Wilson, why on earth are you in this shithole?"
Sam was baffled, as they hadn’t even spent half an hour there, and things were already not going according to plan. Bucky had sworn Rebecca wouldn’t be there, which was good, because Rebecca knew Sam and she knew that their relationship was not at all romantic.
"Good to see you too." He said, trying his best to ignore her obvious confusion and walking closer to Bucky, "Uh, your folks-"
"Sweetheart, you made it!" Winnifred’s exclamation echoed across the room.
"Of course, mama." Rebecca faked enthusiasm as she opened her arms.
"I see you've met Jamie's boyfriend." The siblings’ mother remarked as she gave Rebecca a quick hug.
Even before the contact was over, Rebecca was frowning.
"Boyfriend?"
Think, quickly.
"Yes, boyfriend. “ Bucky said loudly; perhaps too loudly to be believable, “We didn't wanna say. Thanks for ruining the newsbreak, mom." He faked discourage.
Rebecca crossed her arms over her chest, "No, you're not."
Desperate to play it out, Sam pressed a hand to the low of Bucky’s back, in an attempt to show affection and commodity with one another. Bucky, however, froze a little, because it was the first time Sam had done something like that and it felt more than just odd.
"We sure are." Sam grinned.
"Yeah, it just..." Bucky failed to imitate his fake boyfriend’s confidence as he scratched his brow and struggled with words, "Just sort of happened. We were going to tell you."
The room went silent, and Rebecca definitely wasn’t convinced. In fact, she saw straight through both of them and deciphered the truth behind the masquerade in a matter of seconds, which didn’t amuse her at all. They were going to take her prize away.
"Bucky's cheating." She said.
"Excuse me?” Winnifred opened her eyes wide, offended at what the accusation implied.
"At the hunt.” The young woman continued, earning a pleading look from her brother, who begged her not to out his lies; thankfully, she proceeded with a mocking tone, “He knows Nana's biased for couples, so he dragged his boyfriend to this freakshow."
Both Sam and Bucky felt like they had been given a second life, and they quickly laughed it off to dissimulate. Winnifred made a comment about her daughter’s choice of words while they all moved back to the living room, and although what had just happened was a sign that Rebecca wouldn’t out them, all three involved never got their eyes off each other.
-
Dinnertime was an event for the whole family. Others had arrived with their own luggage, setting three different generations in one table. Sam could only feel how strongly out of place he was, among the fancy drinks and conversations about business and family companies. He was learning a hell of a lot about Bucky’s family, though. The fortune was earned by the parents of the deceased grandfather, and he had been the one to ��make them all rich assholes’, according to Bucky’s words.
"Aside from us and Becca, everyone here just wants to win the hunt for their ego.” He explained in whispers, leaning closer to Sam to not be overheard by the rest of the family, “It's just a fun tradition to them."
"I bet it's fun, getting four millions a year." Sam snorted quietly.
It made Bucky laugh, which got the attention of his aunt. She eyed the couple like they were just so cute together, and it only then occurred to Bucky that maybe they did.
"Oh, I forgot about Uncle Milo.” He gestured to an old and nice-looking man at the other end of the table. “Grandpa Theodore's brother, he's after the fortune."
Sam didn’t believe his friend, for it sounded like cliché rich family drama, something out of a soap opera. However, the young Barnes explained that the cliché was real, and that Uncle Milo had gambled his share of the fortune away, so he maintained his proximity to Nana in a desperate attempt to get it all back, the money, the house, everything. He soon continued explaining the rest of the less relevant characters: George's brother Teddy and his wife Andrea, who had a son about their age; cousin Colin. He was a dull creature and he looked like he'd come out of a Lacoste magazine, both him and his Ivy-league-college-sweetheart fiancée did. The third Barnes sibling was Aunt Ida, who had no children but was happily divorced.
“Are we all done with desert?” Nana stood up from her chair.
Cousin Colin raised his fork to speak and say that he hadn’t, but Nana didn’t seem to care.
“Wonderful. Alright, let’s get this over with.”
“No speech, Nana?” Bucky teased her.
“No, you’re all well aware. Except for Samuel, but he’s a smart man, he’ll catch up.” She winked at him.
That was apparently a good sign. She liked Sam.
“The first clue is very easy: just the meaning behind it all.” The woman chuckled at the end of her sentence, earning a few confused looks, “I didn’t hide it very well. You’ll find it if you search for it.”
Every guest remained seated. Knowing the woman, she wasn’t kidding, and this was just a riddle they were supposed to decipher, but they never failed to give her the benefit of the doubt that perhaps, just maybe one time, she would give them a real clue instead of messing with them as much as she could. Nana raised her glass of Champaign as a toast.
“Happy Hunting.” She smirked to the glass before chugging it down.
-
They seemed to be walking around aimlessly, just as the rest of the participants. This sounded like more of a mental riddle to fix by themselves, instead of an actual clue that was hidden somewhere. Bucky had the idea to look around grandpa Theodore’s old room in search for something emotional, although that didn’t sound like Nana, but she had told them to look for the meaning behind it all- she could have meant the meaning of the hunt. When Sam’s brain clicked, he grabbed Bucky’s arm to stop him.
"I got an idea." He announced.
Bucky glanced down at his arm, which was still being held by Sam.
"What're you thinking?" he raised an eyebrow.
"I'm guessing you guys have a library?"
Bucky nodded, "Smart."
Once they found the library, they were submerged in stillness. They shut the door so they wouldn’t give anyone else the same idea, and turned on the lights; the room was probably the calmest one in the entire house. There were high shelves with old books, two dusty reading chairs and a coffee table. Sam figured he wouldn’t mind spending some time there.
"What are we looking for?" James asked in a low voice.
Sam ran his fingers through the shelves for a few seconds, lurking for that one specific piece of literature he had in mind.
“Viktor Frankl.” Sam mumbled, concentrated on his task.
When he found the title, he pulled the book out and offered it to Bucky. Man’s search for meaning, 1946. It was too classical for fancy college men not to have heard of it, but the riddle was a tad too complicated for them. It was as if Nana had expected Sam to guess it first. Bucky caressed the cover, taking in the title and internally understanding the joke. The meaning behind it all. You’ll find it if you search for it.
He let a soft chuckle escape his lips as he opened the book and searched through the pages. Sam leaned in too close, over his shoulder, and Bucky couldn’t help but feel weird at the sensation of Sam’s breath hitting the back of his neck. He didn’t believe it was okay to even notice that sort of thing.
Suddenly, an envelope fell from the book, and Bucky looked back at Sam with amusement.
“That tricky old hag.” He laughed.
-
A/N: I know this wasn’t too exciting lol but it was more of an introduction chapter:/ next part will have your much needed fluff and intensity! Thank you so much for reading xx
#sambucky#sambucky au#fake dating au#sambucky fanfiction#sam/bucky#sam wilson/bucky barnes#sam x bucky#sam wilson x bucky barnes#fatws#the falcon and the winter soldier#marvel fanfiction
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ok so i’m probably not going to word this the best, but I think I’ve finally convinced my bro-in-law-to-be (white, straight) that he can’t keep making homophobic/racist jokes around the house or out in public. and for context, he’s actually not a very racist/homophobic dude, but when he hangs out with his dude friends (a group that includes one gay dude, a bi guy, and a black guy) they all tend to throw around those kind of jokes in good humor. which is fine if they’re out laughing it up or whatever. but...not around the house, when none of those people are present to reciprocate.
and the bro-in-law-to-be has explained over and over that “my gay/black friend was the one who said this joke so it’s cool for me to tell it” but...his gay friend is not here to laugh at the joke. his black friend is not here to laugh at his joke. The only people in this house are me (white nonbinary ace or lesbian i’m still figuring it out, also autistic), my sister (white, bi), and our straight white dad who is very racist/homophobic but usually keeps it on the down low since he knows that we do not share his views and WILL debate him if he makes a nasty comment.
So our dad is usually quiet about his messed up thoughts...UNLESS someone says something to indicate “Hey, I’m racist/homophobic, just like you!” and makes it a safe space to suddenly start talking about “the Chinese virus” or “businesses should be allowed to refuse service to gays” and all this other horrible stuff, which then means that my sister and I have to go through another grueling debate with our dad about how “eugenics is bad” and “refusing to bake a cake leads to refusing to lease an apartment and it’s a slippery slope” and EVERY TIME the bro-in-law-to-be has been like “wow i didn’t know your dad thought those things” while my sister and I are like “AND WE WOULDN’T HAVE TO HAVE THIS ARGUMENT AGAIN IF YOU STOPPED TELLING THESE JOKES AND ENCOURAGING HIM TO BE OPENLY RACIST/HOMOPHOBIC.”
I can’t believe we had to explain to my bro-in-law-to-be that ppl who are racist/homophobic keep an ear out for these kind of jokes in order to recognize each other. A joke is the safest way for them to test the waters. If it’s poorly received, they can just brush it off and go “oh it was just a joke, guys, it wasn’t serious, I don’t really think those things, haha.” BUT it also provides the option for ppl to laugh and go “oh yes, that’s a good joke, i’ll tell you an equally horrible joke to prove that i share your beliefs.” and BAM, they’ve identified a fellow racist/homophobe/etc. and now know that they can talk openly in front of this person, or look to them for support if an argument breaks out. And then suddenly the space you’re in has the potential to become very ugly very fast if the majority of people signal that they’re comfortable with this, and then, if you’re a person who doesn’t agree, you have to either step up and try to shut that shit down and potentially put yourself at risk (which can range from actual physical risk to the emotional/mental damage that comes with listening to someone say terrible things about a group you belong to).
And my bro-in-law-to-be has the luxury of not belonging to any of these groups. Which means that if he makes a stupid joke at the wrong time that lights the racist/homophobic/ableist fire in the room, he’s not at risk of getting burnt. At most he’s going to be uncomfortable or feel like “wow that’s horrible” but he won’t actually be at RISK in the same way my sister and I will be. The way anyone else in that room who’s black or gay or autistic will be once he starts that ball rolling.
And right now we’re trying to focus on him not starting those fires inside our house, around our dad. Because my sister and I have tried very hard over the years to try to talk our dad out of a lot of his shitty mindsets and it’s slow progress, but we’ve managed to convince him of small things over time. he’s a lot less ableist and sexist, for example. Those were easier to work on because he has three daughters (us) and we milked that angle hard, and because I’m autistic, which we also milked hard since i was able to convince him to look at me as having expertise about disabilities that made him value my opinion. We’ve also made strides on the homophobia front, too. If I ever figure out that i like girls (still working on that) and actually date a girl, I think he would be uncomfortable at first, but he wouldn’t reject me as his daughter or anything. likewise, if my sister (bi) broke up w/her boyfriend and started dating a girl, he would probably accept that. We know this mostly because our dad apparently thought that our youngest sis (the irony is she’s the only straight one) was dating her bff in high school and was cool with it. Might have a harder time if, like, his grandson turned out to be gay (he’s more accepting of lesbians/wlw??), but we’re working on it, and we got him to accept using our trans friend’s chosen name and pronouns instead of his deadname, which took time (i’m still not out to him as nonbinary, tho. my sister and online peeps are the only ppl who know right now). So we’ve made progress!
But THEN my bro-in-law has to throw dad a bone with these lame jokes that are uncomfortable to hear coming out of his mouth in the first place (why is it always a cis straight white guy who thinks he can tell any kind of joke as long as he “doesn’t mean it”?) and so this has brought back a lot of those old beliefs in our dad that we’ve been trying to smother. These last few years under Trump have already set him back, ngl, but bro-in-law-to-be was not helping.
it’s also so hard to try fighting racism in our dad, partly because our area is so white and most of our POC friends don’t live here anymore (so far our best success is directly exposing him to a person belonging to the group he hates, and slowly letting him see that they’re human. he’s so non-confrontational that he’s not going to say anything in front of the person, either, and we supervise the whole time, and inform our friend beforehand–our trans friend volunteered to help us previously). and you can’t just say “black lives matter because they’re human beings with intrinsic value equal to a white life” because...he’s racist. he’ll debate you all day or say “ok ok” and let the subject drop w/out changing his mind. you literally have to force him to regularly have positive reactions w/a real life person to change him. god...it’s like training a dog or exposure therapy or something but it’s the best we’ve got. it’s not like there’s a school where u can send ur racist parents to learn human decency.
and it’s hard because he’s our dad and we love him and it’s hard to look at someone you love and know that he believes that straight white abled lives have more intrinsic value than anyone else...just because. i hate that we live in a society where so many ppl hate each other for these things. and it’s just...up to everyone else in their lives to decide to do anything about it. and even then, it’s so hard. and our dad is just one person, and we’ve had years and the benefit of him loving us enough to listen. i can’t imagine trying to reform a stranger, or tons of ppl all at once...
#2020#personal#racism#homophobia#it's one thing to hang out w/a bunch of LGBT+ pals and joke around#or to make jokes w/in your marginalized group#like here on tumblr it's generally fine to do that#i can make 'random thing' gave me autism jokes#or joke and say that i'm getting extra vaccines to level up to super saiyan autism#but i would never make those jokes around my conservative aunts#because i know that they genuinely believe that vaccines cause autism#and they would turn my joke into a debate#or literally not gonna lie ask me if i think 'random thing' really did give me autism#ah...but even then it's not the same as my bro-in-law because i AM autistic...#he's making gay jokes even tho he's straight#and like yeah ok w/ur friends who know ur not serious that's fine#but if you're in a room full of strangers and you make a joke like that#you're suddenly opening up a chance for the new topic of discussion to be something like#'should businesses be able to refuse service to gay people?' or 'should autistic ppl be allowed to reproduce?'#and BAM suddenly that space is very hostile for any gay/autistic/etc ppl#while bro-in-law will remain safe because he's not any of those things#which means his silly jokes are really hard for me to find funny at any time actually#because some ppl LITERALLY THINK THOSE THINGS#about ME PERSONALLY#i have to take these things seriously because they can affect my life#and i think it's kind of wild that it's the straight white dude who feels comfortable enough to throw these kind of#unfunny jokes around. like i get it he can just laugh and walk away but uh not everybody can do that#and there's a difference between cracking a gay joke on your liberal college campus#and cracking the same joke at your conservative family reunion#like just...don't do it please
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about me!
hey! i'm vio.
that's not my real name (by real name, i don't mean dead name - i mean chosen name that i use in real life), but it doesn't mean i chose it at random. viola (vio) is my online name for a reason.
i chose the name viola because even though it's a girl's name, it's also the name of one of shakespeare's most sexually ambiguous characters to exist. vio, while also being a nickname for viola, is it's own name that comes from the word vita, meaning life.
in fact, i want vio to be my middle name once i legally change my name.
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i've kind of come to terms with my good traits and my not-so-good traits. i've been described as charismatic, kind, intelligent, patient, caring, thoughtful, good at giving advice, and funny. but the downside to being (supposedly) charismatic is that i can be manipulative. i also lie a little more than i should because of my anxiety.
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sexuality and gender wise, i'm not someone you can put into labels. i'm equally okay with he/him and they/them pronouns, so i'm perfectly comfortable with either the label trans ftm or nonbinary.
although i'm TECHNICALLY pansexual, I enjoy the term queer because it makes me feel less self conscious about if i'm more straight than gay (or vice versa) and things like that.
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i'm: - a pisces - a slytherin (although i don't support j.k. rowling herself and i don't love the harry potter series either, knowing my house will probably help you get a feel for who i am) - an enfj/infj (it changes a surprising amount) - an 8 (then a 3, then a 5) in the enneagram - chaotic neutral - a son of loki - a son of either hermes or hades (it's been a long internal debate)
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i love: - hunter x hunter (ハンター×ハンター / hantā hantā) - attack on titan (進撃の巨人 / shingeki no kyojin) - my hero academia (僕のヒーローアカデミア / boku no hīrō akademia) - death note (デスノート / desu nōto) - haikyu!! (ハイキュー!! / haikyū!!) - violet evergarden (ヴァイオレット・エヴァーガーデン / vaioretto evāgāden) - nura: rise of the yokai clan (ぬらりひょんの孫 / nurarihyon no mago / nurarihyon's grandson) - ouran high school host club (桜蘭高校ホスト部 / ōran Kōkō Hosuto Kurabu) - black clover (ブラッククローバー / burakku kurōbā) - yuri!!! on ice (ユーリ!!! on ICE) - westworld - the politician - the haunting of hill house - the good place - good omens - brooklyn nine-nine - on my block - lost in space - many more
i'm a big shipper and it causes me quite a bit of pain considering i mostly ship gay ships and i also mostly watch animes so they'll never happen.
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i used to play basketball and tennis, but now i mainly just use my dad's peloton bike and go on runs. oh, and i also snowboard and surf! i'm pretty good at surfing although i need someone to push me on a wave and i'm getting a lot better at snowboarding (although i'm not GOOD).
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i enjoy cooking too, but don't have enough time or energy for it. i love horror movies and house plants, but i can't take care of them for shit.
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i really like to listen to music!!! it's very hard to describe my musical taste, but my top grneres are modern rock, indie pop, indie, pop, rock, electropop, and dance pop.
i used to listen to more emo music, but recently i’ve found that it just gets me down, so i try to listen to upbeat/chill music.
my spotify account name is strangecharm if you want to follow me! the playlist currently. has music that rotates as i find my favorite songs, but seventh grade. has all the music i've liked this year! i also really enjoy the playlist chill.
i also like musicals (dear evan hansen, be more chill, heathers, six the musical, and hamilton for the most part), but they're not what i listen to for the most part.
oh! i'm a singer and a pianist! i've always loved singing, but i always hated piano. a while ago, i got significantly better and started playing songs i enjoyed. it gave me this sense of motivation i've never felt when it comes to piano. i've even composed a couple piano pieces at this point!
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another really nerdy thing about me is that i genuinely enjoy philosophy and poetry (particularly from one of my favorites, rumi).
i love: - john green - david levithan - terry pratchett - neil gaiman - tomi adeyemi - rick riordan - jalāl ad-dīn muhammad rūmī (aka rumi; he’s an ancient persian poet, and he’s queer as hell) overall, i don't really read by authors, though. for the most part, when i choose a book, it's because it was recommended to me or is of value to me as an author.
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i'd like to grow up to be an author, but i also want to teach writing so i can share what i know! my (dream) life plan is kind of to go to college in london or, if not, somewhere on the east coast of the united states.
from there, i'd either want to study abroad in japan or get my english abroad permit and teach english in japan.
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i'm re-learning spanish and learning japanese, too! i want to learn them for four main reasons among many: 1) knowing spanish is really helpful in america 2) i can write novels in english, spanish, and japanese! 3) both spanish and japanese are absolutely beautiful languages- way more beautiful than english. 4) i can watch animes and have peace of mind because i won't have to read subtitles that are insanely off from what the voice actors are saying.
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i'm an eclectic witch (although i am particularly drawn to divination and green witchcraft)!
i really love tarot cards! some people think they can tell the future which is okay (i guess), but personally, i just use them to help me recognize themes in my and other people's life/lives from an unbiased perspective and help make things better.
my favorite kind of spells are jar spells and tea spells. if i'm doing spells, they're normally protection spells, self-love spells, or anti-anxiety/depression/bad vibe spells. i don't really believe in trying to use hexes or curses because then you're no better than the person you're cursing.
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i love art, but i'm not very good at it, so for the most part i do abstract art instead of realistic art. abstract art is pretty fun, too!
i'm trying to get better at using proportions and things, though. my favorite method is the loomis method and i love the youtube channel proko.
you can check out my book on wattpad, artistic elixir (i know, cheesy; i thought i was cool and i’m too lazy to rename it), if you want to see some of my art.
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i have a lot of unpopular opinions. some are big and some are small. that's just who i am. my mom's insanely left wing and lgbtq+ herself, but my dad's neither left nor right wing, leaving him hated by both wings. i've become a weird mix where i'm definitely more left wing than right, but i'm also not really either wing.
for example, i think that, if I'm being honest, the amount of labels in LGBTQ+ community has gotten out of hand. i'm not saying that the feelings aren't real. I'm not saying that it's impossible to not want to have sex or feel physical attraction until you get to know someone. but some genders & sexualities sound a lot more like a preference to me. i think that a lot of labels that exist could easily fit into other ones that already did exist. i also feel that you need some kind of dysphoria to be genderqueer and that neopronouns are a bit unnecessary.
basically, the rule of thumb for me is that i don't give a fuck. by saying this, i mean that i both do not give a fuck: 1) in that you can do whatever you want and be whoever you want and don't have to to live by my opinions. i understand and respect that and i’ll love you the same as long as you’re not hurting anyone with your actions. 2) in that i won't tiptoe around you, trying not to hurt you. i will share my opinion, regardless of whether or not it hurts you. i speak my mind; that's how i've always been and always will be.
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i have a pinterest, a wattpad, an archive of our own, a spotify, and, obviously, a tumblr, so just ask me if you want my account on any of them!
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that’s basically all i can think of, but i’ll always answer questions for you guys! just send me an ask or even a pm if you want to ask any other questions, or even just want to talk! i’m always up for making friends!
-vio/viola
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Klaine Advent Day 2: “A Real Christmas” (Rated PG13)
Blaine is about to break his neck to make sure that his newly adopted daughter has a real Christmas. But aside from being a doting new parent, Kurt is beginning to think there's something else behind Blaine's sudden obsessive holiday behaviour. (2281 words)
Notes: Written for the Klaine Advent Drabble Challenge Day 2 prompts bury/cinnamon. I stole a little inspiration from two of my fave movies - "Where the Heart Is" and "City Slickers" XD
Read on AO3.
“Explain to me why we’re doing this again,” Kurt asks, fighting against the immense cold and the overwhelming darkness to hide the terror roiling in his stomach at the sight of his husband climbing up what has to be the tallest oak tree he’s ever seen in his life without any protective gear of any kind. Kurt had tried to use his cell phone flashlight to give his husband some light, but it didn’t work, the beam of white light doing little to break through the black. So he opted to save his battery instead, in case of an emergency.
“This is … mmph … Tracy’s first Christmas (grunt), and I (ow … shoot!) want it to be a (Fuck fuck fuck! Splinter!) real Christmas. Nothing artificial. That means a real tree, real mistletoe …”
“Real broken limbs …”
“Have a little faith in me, will you?” Blaine calls down – a bit snappishly, but Kurt attributes that to the wind whipping mercilessly around them. “We may have graduated high school over a decade ago, but I’m still the athlete I was back then, if I do say so myself.”
“True, but even back then you weren’t climbing trees!”
“You don’t know. I had a life outside of you.”
“You do know that it’s completely acceptable to purchase mistletoe,” Kurt says, hoping his voice carries high enough for Blaine to hear. “Nurseries have real mistletoe. Home Depot, Lowe’s, even 7-11. It’s right there at the counter! There’s a 7-11 off the highway. We can swing by, buy a sprig, and go back to our nice, safe, warm home.” Kurt watches Blaine scurry up the trunk like a squirrel when he reaches a bare patch, holding his breath till he finally makes it to the next branch and grabs hold. “I’ll make hot chocolate – real hot chocolate - with real whipped cream and real cinnamon.” Blaine doesn’t answer, and a lump grows in Kurt’s throat. If Blaine can’t hear Kurt, then Kurt might not be able to hear Blaine. What if he gets himself in trouble? What if his foot slips? What if loses a hand hold?
What if he gets attacked by a raccoon?
Then again, what did Blaine expect Kurt to do if any of that did happen!? Kurt doesn’t climb trees! He never has, and now would not be the best time to learn. Plus, if Blaine starts falling down, Kurt climbing up won’t do anyone any good. They should have brought climbing gear. Or a ladder. Or a trampoline!
“I’ll put in some mini marshmallows,” Kurt continues, unwilling to give up. “You---you know they’re your favorites.”
With a lurch, Blaine finally reaches the branch he’s been aiming for. He repositions himself on his stomach and starts shimmying across.
And that’s when Kurt’s heart officially stops beating.
From down below, the branch looks like a sturdy one. But another harder wind blows in an effort to prove Kurt wrong, shaking Blaine until he has to stop and curl around the branch to keep from falling off.
“Blaine!” Kurt yells, jumping up and down, holding out his arms in preparation for that branch to break and his husband to plummet. After sixty long seconds, the wind dies down, and Blaine’s bobbing on the branch stops.
“I’m … I’m alright,” Blaine says, swallowing down his fear loud enough that Kurt hears it. “It’s … it’s only a few feet, and then I’ve got it.”
The mistletoe! The fucking mistletoe! Kurt was so scared for his husband’s life that he almost forgot.
Kurt glares angrily at the insipid ball of vampire fungus Blaine is trying to get, wondering why in the hell it had to be so far off the frickin’ ground! There are plenty of branches within standing reach for that thing to suck the life out of. But no, this particular ball of mistletoe – the perfect ball, in Blaine’s opinion – had to grow twenty flippin’ feet in the air!
“Blaine,” Kurt begins, not above begging if that’s what it takes to get his husband out of that damned tree, “you realize that, at that height, if you fall, we’ll have to bury you under this tree.” Kurt’s being morbid, but he prays that the thought of Blaine’s probable death will make his husband rethink this ludicrous decision. “I won’t even have to dig a hole. The pressure will drive you into the ground.”
“Ha-ha,” Blaine says humorlessly, scooting across the branch to Kurt’s dismay.
“Then I’ll have to bring Tracy here every Christmas,” Kurt adds, his voice rising in both volume and pitch, “to build a little snowman memorial to her father!”
“Kurt …” Blaine’s body sags against the branch, physically and emotionally exhausted. “I’m … I’m sorry. I’m sorry I dragged you out here in the middle of the night, and I’m sorry that I’m up in this stupid tree. But this is important to me. Okay?”
“O-okay.” Kurt nods, though he knows there’s no way Blaine can see, and watches silently as his husband hacks away at the portion of the branch that’s connected to the mistletoe. Blaine starts off with even sawing motions, but eventually degrades into random, angry stabs when the mistletoe won’t break free. He pauses momentarily to wipe the back of his hand across his forehead.
No. Not across his forehead. Across his cheek. Like he might be crying. Kurt can’t see him clearly, but he doesn’t think Blaine is hurt. If he could just get his husband out of that tree, then they could talk about this face to face.
And Kurt could understand.
“Blaine? Sweetheart?” Kurt says, thankful that the wind has quieted down for now. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“No.” Blaine sniffs, returning to his cutting. But he slows down. Then he stops. “Maybe. Yes.”
“Real tree, real mistletoe, real Santa Claus we had to drive two hours in a blizzard to see …” Kurt checks off as he tries to figure this out. Usually Kurt is the one in charge of their holiday schedule, but the second they discovered that Tracy’s adoption had been approved and she would be home with them for Christmas, Blaine asked to take over this once.
Then all of this began.
“Well, he looked the most authentic,” Blaine defends in a wobbly voice.
“Blaine …” The pieces finally line up in Kurt’s head. He walks around the trunk of the tree to try and catch Blaine’s eyes “… are you doing this because … you’re afraid our family isn’t real?”
Blaine stops cutting altogether. He folds his hands underneath his chin, and Kurt knows he’s hit the nail on the head. Kurt had forgotten all about it after it happened, because it was one of those lame, thoughtless remarks people make when they think they’re never wrong. That’s the kind of person Blaine’s grandmother is. Older than old and set in her ways, not willing to entertain for one second that any of her outdated beliefs may contribute to dividing the family she’s cultivated. ‘I’ve always been a far-right conservative’ she’ll say unapologetically with a shrug and a smirk after making an unforgivable declaration in front of her gay grandson and his husband about the need for conversion therapy in middle and high schools, how it’s God’s will, and should be obeyed by all.
‘Because we’re a Christian nation. Says so right in the Constitution.’
It didn’t matter how many credible sources Blaine and Kurt cited to the contrary. There was no making her see reason.
Which is why Blaine and Kurt decided after they met Tracy, before they planned on adopting her, that Blaine’s grandmother would no longer be a part of their lives.
That doesn’t mean she didn’t hear about Tracy through the family grapevine. That doesn’t mean she didn’t have an opinion.
That doesn’t mean her opinion – that it’s a shame Tracy won’t have a real family because her mom doesn’t want to be in the picture; how she’ll be cheated out of the institution that God wants for all of his children – though vile, unnecessary, and untrue, didn’t break Blaine’s heart. Because her opinion isn’t unique. A lot of people in their lives - people who swore to support them no matter what, who wore rainbow flag pins and marched beside them in parades – have that opinion about real families. To some people, a real family means a father and a mother, and that opinion may never change.
But their opinion doesn’t need to affect Kurt and Blaine. As long as they love one another, and for as long as they believe in that love, nothing can touch them.
Except this wind, Kurt thinks as another gust swirls through, nearly pushing him to the ground. But this one’s low. It doesn’t rustle the leaves where Blaine lays.
“Blaine …” Kurt perches up on his toes so his husband can hear him “… we are a real family. You, me, and Tracy are a real family, no matter what anyone else thinks. And no religion or law can change that. You know that, don’t you?”
“I---I know.” Blaine gazes at his husband with melancholy eyes. “And I know that some people will never change. But you think your family will, that they’re going to love you and support you no matter what. We used to spend every Christmas at my grandmother’s house. We spent two weeks out of the summer there. She knits me sweaters for my birthday. She taught me how to bake bread. I thought she’d be that for my children someday. It’s hard remembering who she was while seeing her the way she is now, especially since she was probably always this way.”
“I know, baby. And I think that, in your grandma’s own way, she does still love you. But that doesn’t mean she’s a healthy person to be around.” Kurt sighs when he sees the impact his words have on his husband. He wishes he could hold him, that Blaine wasn’t up a tree while he says this to him. “You have to cut toxic people out of your life, because if you don’t, they’re going to poison you and poison you until you start questioning everything you believe. But you know what’s just as important as the family you have no say in?”
“What?”
“The family you choose. And you have an amazing family, Blaine, filled with people who would do anything for you. And if your biological family doesn’t want to support your decisions or how you live your life, then your chosen family are the people you need to cling to. Those are the people you need to live for!”
Blaine chuckles at Kurt’s emphasis. His husband may be a lot of things, but subtle isn’t one of those. In the end, Blaine has to admit, this probably wasn’t one of his smarter ideas, but he felt like, if he could pull it off, he might have accomplished something. Then the people in his life who don’t agree with him, like his grandmother, would see how far he’s willing to go, how hard he’s willing to work to be the best father he can be, and that might change their minds.
But up in this tree, with nothing but the black void and his husband beneath him, he realizes how shortsighted he was.
He was working too hard to impress the wrong people.
“You’re right,” Blaine says. “I know you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right! So, please! Leave the parasitic fungus where it is and let’s go! Let’s go home and spend the evening with our adorable daughter, with your limbs intact!”
Blaine looks at his husband, then at the mistletoe in front of him. Kurt is right, this is dangerous, but he’s so close. Ludicrous or not, Blaine has to give it a shot.
“Hold on one second …” Blaine says, sawing away at the branch with all his might. “I think I can still do this!”
“Blaine!” Kurt yelps in disbelief. “Blaine Devon Ander-Hummel! Didn’t we just …? Didn’t we decide …? What are you …?” The wind picks up with a vengeance, cutting off the ends of Kurt’s sentences. It works its way up the tree like a cyclone, shaking Blaine so violently, he flails both arms and legs, windmilling before he can clamp back on to his branch. Kurt, desperate to save him but with no idea how, hugs the tree trunk to keep it steady. He can barely watch as Blaine grabs hold of his mistletoe and backs down the tree using only one arm, but he does his best, figuring someone should witness Blaine if he drops like a rock and breaks his neck. Under different circumstances, Kurt might find Blaine barreling down the trunk of tree Tarzan-style sexy, but it’s hard for him to think that way when he’s mentally plotting the fastest route to the closest E.R. But quicker than it took him to climb up, Blaine hops down from the tree, grinning like an idiot and holding his prize aloft. “See?” he pants, his warm breath sending tiny clouds loose into the frigid air. “I t---told you I could do it!”
“Yes, you did.” Kurt peers at his husband in the non-existent light and frowns. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, switches on the light, and takes a closer look. There’s a finality in his expression that Blaine can’t interpret. Kurt sees something on Blaine’s face that makes his frown deepen, and he shakes his head. “But I’m still going to have to take you to a hospital.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I think you’re real allergic to mistletoe.”
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Queer Eye - You Can’t Fix Ugly
Okay, to preface this: I don‘t like Reality TV. At all. I decided to put Queer Eye into my watchlist… because it was available, obviously queer and I‘d heard very good things about it.
I wanted to like this show, I really did! But going in, I was also very sure this was not going to be my kind of thing.
Hoo boy was I wrong about that!
Starting with the intro (just like the episode) I‘ve gotta say that I approve a helluva lot of all these rainbows and dancing guys. Very nice! The whole thing is very cute, very relatable, there‘s been a few faces and names. (Five, in fact, which I remember only because I know their group has been dubbed „Fab 5“ - they even put it on their number plate! How is that legal? I don‘t actually care!) How in hell is anybody supposed to remember so many people and faces though? Also, the intro seems a bit weirdly cut in some places? To match up their little speeches and give everyone equal screentime? Which is a good idea, but ends up a smidgen chaotic.
But it‘s VERY queer, VERY cute and I like the music! Introducing, then, the guy our actually very well put-together motley crew is out to fix! His routine and those interactions with the diner lady, as well as his own introduction itself, feel very staged. Then again, this IS a TV show. Everything is staged; it has to be.
It‘s both obvious that his daughter is the one who actually made Tom (yassss got the name) apply to this and she also seems to be the driving force behind this endeavour.
Then again, it‘s not like Tom himself doesn‘t realize he has a problem! He seems very willing to trust the Fab V with his life and it‘s sweet how he‘s looking forward to the new him! (Inciting factors for him wanting to change right now are… his grandson? Also his loneliness? And uh… him being too settled in his own routines and not knowing how to escape them? Let‘s see how that holds up later.)
Oh, that title-drop tho! They are not being subtle here! „You can‘t fix ugly“ seems to be set up as a statement that, at the same time is easily disproven and perceived by many to be true, making it an ambitious, great set-up for a first episode. Good job, show-runners! I also like the implication that by choosing to emphasise this statement as the one that needs to be torn out by the roots, they take a firm stance against letting genetic disposal (meaning something that one has no input in) dictate one‘s life and self-image. In the meantime, between fantastic shots of rural Georgia, the Gays are getting ready in the car – and I sense a theme here. To be fair, mostly because of all the car gifs that I‘ve seen on the internet. They can‘t possibly all come from this one episode. But still, I sense it in my bones.
Holy shit, I do love the ROMEOS! It‘s such a nice and self-humouring name! And I love how supportive all these old people are of the good dude. Is it too much to ask to have such a nice circle of friends to grow old with? Evidently not!
Just as evidently, they are also not afraid to give Tom shit, like, at all. They are brutally honest, in fact. And they do have very strong opinions on him needing to get his act together.
Why the constant reiteration of relationship issues, though? Isn‘t there another angle they could push? I mean, it‘s obvious that he‘s lonely and needs someone to share his life with and a girlfriend/wife would do him worlds of good… but why does EVERYONE instantly jump on that?
Seriously, jumping forward to the apartment inspection a bit, the main point every single person seems to consider is relationship and sex stuff. It does make me uncomfortable – not the relationship stuff itself, that‘s adorable, more that it‘s the one thing that, in the blink of an eye, becomes the focus of the whole episode. It‘s teased already, with the goal of the makeover being to make Tom a new and better Tom until the car show. Where he is going to take „a special person“. Maybe. But of course, there needs to be a tangible goal, to actually see some results. Aside from that, it is very cute to see the Gays play around with his stuff – Jonathan using the hair-dryer to blow his luscious locks around? And then picking out the… whatever that thing is supposed to be. A robe? Personally, I would probably murder anyone who‘d put their hands all over my stuff like that – but then again, that‘s what they were invited to do! It doesn‘t feel disrespectful either, the way they just have fun with his stuff and tease Tom about it. (To be honest, though, it was kind of surprisingly clean and everything? Except for the reclining chair of course, I do get why they were so grossed out by that thing… Not much of a revelation, then, that Tom had very little to do with the decoration of his own apartment. Which is obviously a problem! Hearing Tom talk, it is very obvious that he‘s never taken the time to shake off some of the influence his past relationships have had on him. Of course, you don‘t need to completely reinvent yourself once you break up with your partner; or the reverse. But even if Tom doesn‘t see it that way, he does tend to hang on to things that don‘t belong to his current life anymore. Having the Fab 5 rearrange his house will certainly help him have a space completely independent from past and evidently failed marriages…)
The pyjama was really cute though! I don‘t get why Tan jumped on it so viciously as a sex-killer – sure, it‘s NOT sexy, but it shows that the wearer doesn‘t hang on too much to a constructed self-image? Then again, Tom already radiated putting zero thought in his appearance at all times anyway. Good call, maybe. It is a pity that the dude doesn‘t take advantage of what he already possesses, though. Forgoing any kind of interesting in favour of comfortable and I‘m glad the Gays are there to show him that you can have both. (Even if that‘s the quintessential bisexual experience… shutting up, now!)
The skin care tips are very helpful and I like how they don‘t even give Tom a chance to blame everything on his lupus and instead show him ways to make flare-ups easier to circumvent and ease. And yeah, the beard does show potential. Not into it as much as Jonathan and Tan (?) seem to be, but… it`s good? Obviously a point of pride for Tom, too.
Oh, so that is what they meant with „culture“! Karamo is there for the psychological aspect of it all, for interpersonal relationships and the way he presents himself. Focussing on the dating website profile seems to make sense, then. Albeit the fact that it is rendered almost unimportant by the revelation occurring… in the kitchen?
How come the ONE conversation that didn‘t involve dating issues from the start derailed SO HARD into the big revelation? OF COURSE, after this there‘s no going back from that angle – the goal is now to woo a woman… that already loves him? And he loves her too?
Why the FUCK did they divorce though??? WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ABBY???
Very nice ending for the day: everybody tries the Redneck Margharita!
„Who doesn‘t love mountain dew? Who doesn‘t love margaritas?“
(Cue spluttering and dramatic puking noises)
„That shit was gross AF!“ Didn‘t think it was gonna be any good :/ All of the Fab 5 simultaneously screaming „you need to stop saying that“ whenever Tom‘s title-mantra comes up gives me life, btw. (Also, what DOES „snatched“ mean? Isn‘t it just like… SNATCHED? Help? Is there another secret slang meaning there?)
Second day! And they are ritually getting rid of The Chair, which, good for Tom! Very nice how they pulled this off!
Also great is how every bit of sexism and homophobia is addressed within seconds and murdered, but gently! It is both gratifying to see that being brought up in the show and very nice how Tom is willing to work on his attitude and internalized prejudices – a bit uncomfortable, but wholesome! Mattress shopping surely is not the most important thing in the world, but you sleep on those things every day… so you better get something that actually makes you feel good! Introducing the memory foam for back problems is very helpful and it‘s wonderful to see how much thought the Gays put into accommodating Tom‘s ailments – as they should! But back issues etc are not often approached with the care they demand and here, they are! Beautiful interactions between the Fab 5 themselves, too! The birth-reenactment was hilarious!
The vintage clothing store is looking good – great decoration and everything, but the best thing about this is that they‘re not actually buying much. Actually, the cap thingie might have been the only thing they bought? And it does make him look so much more sophisticated! It‘s really good that they‘re not replacing his whole wardrobe though – just giving him the means to shop for clothing that he��ll look good in any time. (Everything is so cute!) (Isn‘t he wearing a reddish pink shirt right now? Wouldn‘t that also have to go into the „not your friend“-pile?) The makeover cleanses my soul. A new haircut! Better beard! All of this is such an upgrade and he looks so much better with just these relatively small changes! (Let‘s just hope he‘ll keep this up afterwards too?) Everybody complimenting him the second they lay eyes on him is both well-deserved and – repeating myself here – so very sweet. (I‘ll have to interrupt myself here, though – what. The fuck. Is going on with Antoni‘s smile? Who allowed him to have that??? Like, every single member of the Fab 5 is incredible. But this guy‘s smile? Divine. I don‘t do crushes on random celebrities – still don‘t – but hell if I didn‘t just fucking FALL IN LOVE with that smile. What even) The most interesting part by far is Karamo‘s, though – and it‘s comparably short, but holy hell if Tom ain‘t just calling Abby. Hoo boy, he‘s very forward and she seems to have no clue what‘s coming… aaaand she said yes! Awesome!
(Realistically, she must have signed all sorts of waivers to appear on this show and can‘t have been too surprised at what is happening here – but the conversation is also very short. Not a lot to analyze, there…) This point in the episode was when I felt a slight tinge in my cheekbones and realized that I was smiling; had been for a long time, actually. Thus began my descent into really loving this show that I so far have only seen one episode of. Oh well.
House reveal! House is amazing! Prepared Looks are amazing! The food, the body care, the beard care – everything is amazing! Tom‘s daughter reacting to all of that is just awwwww and my teeth are dissolving from all this sweetness! The grandson doesn‘t look too happy, but why would he?
Jonathan is just a reaction gif trapped in human form, I have no idea how many #relatable things he‘s said in this episode alone, but I believe that may be cuz it‘s been too many to count. ...and now everybody‘s crying, they‘re all saying goodbye – but there‘s still a fair chunk of the episode left? What… is going on? Of course! The car show! And of course, Tom has to do this alone, has to use the resources he‘s been given and prove his mettle!
Meanwhile, the Fab 5 are watching and commenting from afar. Golly, they can be mean though… I mean, yeah, there are a few hiccups with the outfit choice! (And the green stick thing. But he eventually found his nose!) In the end, though, BY GOLLY does Tom show that he hasn‘t forgotten everything. Even though he sticks with his most comfortable option. That‘s okay, buddy! Still need to have an ace in the sleeve for the next date(s)! That‘s the car show – is this the first time since his magical girl transformation that Tom actually meets his peers? They seem appropriately surprised and in awe. Every single one of these (tbf not that) old guys looks so happy to see their friend thrive and I‘m here for it! Holy crap, that‘s Abby! She‘s so pretty, what‘s up with that? Naaaawww that is cute. Gotta hand it to Tom, he may be incredibly unsubtle, but slick. Very slick.
Then again, as Abby, according to earlier in the episode, already loves him anyway, I don‘t think she requires that much persuasion? We‘ve got the upcoming dinner date and the „his and her“ space and it ends on a very positive note. All of this is culminating in Tom and Abby awkwardly getting closer – but the best thing?
The Fab 5 reacting to this ordeal! Why is this so lovely? Also, Antoni, put that smile away, I swear to all that is sparkly! (jk pls don‘t lol)
All in all, this first episode was surprisingly enjoyable, lovely to the nth degree and I think I might be addicted. Even the outro is a thing of beauty! Thanks for the concept explanation, the margarita tips and more impromptu dancing!
Actually, thanks for this whole show! I shall now scour the deepest edges of the internet for numerous flashes of Antoni‘s smile, and reappear to the surface only when but the grainiest snapshot remains untouched by my hungry eyes.
Goodnight.
#queer eye#fab 5#gay#episode review#first episode#noooo but why is this so good#wanna watch more#this is my new comfort series#low effort watching#great satisfaction#very gay#very queer in general#in conclusion#absolute gem
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1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
You are enough by sleeping at last, Good old days by macklemore and kesha, Blood//Water by Grandson, Eyes to the sky by Jon Bellion, High hopes by panic! at the disco, and Cowboy casanova by Carrie Underwood (I know its alot of genres)
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
TOM HOLLAND
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
“We looked carefully, but saw no apparitions”
4: What do you think about most?
This is going to sound full of myself, but i think about myself alot. I just like to self reflect and try to improve whatever i think can be improved upon.
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
“No problem, I can try to make it work”
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
with. I live with too many people to be sleeping nude.
7: What’s your strangest talent?
I can scream EXACTLY like a horror movie. I had to pretend to be a murdered scream for this real life clue thing once and it was awesome
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
Girls…. are absolutely goddesses and I fall in love with every one.
Boys…. are devilish jokers I wish I could stop falling for.
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
I think so? There’s a guy who likes me and would send me poems about “some mystery girl” who I’m like 98% sure is me
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
probs like last week
11: Do you have any strange phobias?
I have zoophobia actually, I love animals but they give me a huge amount of anxiety so I’ve been trying to get over it
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
I- I don’t know
13: What’s your religion?
I’m a christian, I actually got saved last year around this time!
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Swimming
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
behind. always.
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
Lately it’s been Sleeping at Last. They’re so calm but meaningful I love it
17: What was the last lie you told?
“Nooooooooooo, hahahahahaha, why would I like you???? No offense I mean you’re really… uhm. nevermind. no, I don’t”
18: Do you believe in karma?
Abso-fuckin-lutely
19: What does your URL mean?
nothing really
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
I’ve been told they’re the same thing: I’m a really caring and sympathetic person which makes me good with people but also too trusting and gullible
21: Who is your celebrity crush?
TOM HOLLAND
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
no, but I lowkey really want to??? when I was little I read about it in nancy drew without even fully realizing what it was and I always wanted to try it
23: How do you vent your anger?
Usually by working out? I always joke that I don’t work out alot, but I bike/swim/walk/dance/do a ton of random muscle workouts pretty daily
24: Do you have a collection of anything?
I have a collection of lipsticks if that counts
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
it depends on the person, but I personally prefer video chatting just cause it’s easier to read body language
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
I feel like there’s ALOT of room to improve tbh
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
nails on a chalkboard ; dude anyone with a deep voice (no matter what they identify as) has my heart in a second of speaking
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
probably the usual “what if this had worked out” with a previous crush
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
yes. also yes. (don’t judge me)
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
my pillow and my bed
31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
stale air. it is summer and hot. please send help.
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
this is gonna sound terrible, but probably in our car? I have so many bad memories and I hate driving it with a passion
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
west coast
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
Shawn mendes, no doubt
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
Helping other people
36: Define Art.
An expression of emotion so strong it makes the viewer also feel emotion
37: Do you believe in luck?
yes
38: What’s the weather like right now?
hOt
39: What time is it?
early evening
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
yes, not yet cause I barely ever drive
41: What was the last book you read?
the Odesseye
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
no???
43: Do you have any nicknames?
Way too many. My latest was “miracle” given to me by a ton of adorable middle schoolers who couldn’t remember anything but the first three letters of my name
44: What was the last film you saw?
the greatest showman
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
A sprained ankle
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
Yeah, it’s a long story but this one I think tried to have sex with my finger
47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
dude I always do. Jane the Virgin is television gOLD
48: What’s your sexual orientation?
Right now I identify as either bisexual or pansexual
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
just small ones about who I like (that weren’t true and complicated friendships)
50: Do you believe in magic?
I don’t know
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
yeah, I’ve been trying to get better at it
52: What is your astrological sign?
Saggittarious
53: Do you save money or spend it?
I spend money way too easily, I’ve been trying to learn how to save more
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
A pretzel
55: Love or lust?
love
56: In a relationship?
I wish
57: How many relationships have you had?
None that I’d like to count
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
nope
59: Where were you yesterday?
At a bonfire
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
ohhhhh yeah
61: Are you wearing socks right now?
nope
62: What’s your favourite animal?
cats.
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
Friendship wise it’s just asking how their day is and asking if their doing okay. Romantic wise, I am soooo mean to people I like so usually just teasing them and buying them food
64: Where is your best friend?
right now at her home hopefully
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
@sophietheadventurer @s1n-am0n @darhwolf @undead-aesthetic @xqueenofpunsx
66: What is your heritage?
Mostly irish but my dad’s side has a heck of a lot of russian cause my great grandma is from Ukraine
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
sleeping like a wimp
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
mcdevil
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
Nope
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
I don’t know actually, I try to be the type of person I think a person NEEDS, so I would probs be pretty different if i was my friend
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
drown with the dog cause I can’t swim for crap but I’ll die trying
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
a) I would only tell a couple people at first, the rest I’d tell farther in b) spend time with my family and friends and travel a whole lot/probs write ALOT c) I’d be more sad I didn’t have more time with the people I care about
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
love, I already don’t have trust let’s be real
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
Good old days by macklemore just cause it’s amazing
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
I’d give them out but like I already have way too many unknown numbers calling me
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
Two people who connect on a mental/emotional/spiritual level who can be completely themselves with each other and don’t have to spend all their time together, but cherish every single minute
77: How can I win your heart?
food and musicals
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
I think in a lot of ways it can, but that’s a whole debate in and of itself
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
coming back to the same summer camp every year
80: What size shoes do you wear?
7 and ½
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
“Now the only extra she is is dead”
82: What is your favourite word?
chimney (long story)
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
falling in love
84: What is a saying you say a lot?
“It’s not a look” or “oH honEy nO”
85: What’s the last song you listened to?
“God made girls” It’s been stuck in my head for ages
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
it changes almost daily but right now it’s a bright pink
87: What is your current desktop picture?
subtle gay art
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
That’s a hard question, too many horrible people alive
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
Someone irl asking my sexuality (i am very very deep in the closet)
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Probs go back to bed I’m a tired chick man
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
Telepathy
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
this one specific car ride I had with my sister when I was younger
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
my entire life as a thirteen year old
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
tie between Kesha and Shawn Mendes
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Greece
96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
not that I know of but most likely yeah
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
wayyyyy too many times
98: Ever been on a plane?
yes
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
I would probably freeze up and say nothing
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so last night I went to my school's One Act plays to support my friends and I honestly was not expecting this. I really just wanna talk about one show specifically. its called The Door, by Paul Elliot and it's phenomenal.
"A grandmother in her late 50s sits in her darkened apartment and refuses to answer the insistent knocking at her front door. In fact, this woman has shut herself off from everything except the one person still capable of reaching her, her teenage grandson, Justin. Now, he sits with her in the darkness, trying every trick he knows to get her to respond, to turn on the lights, to answer the door and reclaim her life. He teases. He torments. He goads. He reminds her that never once would she have let him hide away like this and he's not about to let her get away with it either. He pushes every annoying button he can push to finally get her to face her worst nightmare and what lies outside that door. She has to do it for herself. She has to do it for him. It's only at the last moment we discover that what she must face when she opens that door is the night the police came to tell her that her grandson had been savagely beaten and brutally murdered because someone thought he might have been gay. There are some doors that must be opened if we're going to ever change the way things are. The Door is a play for the theater company that wants to make a difference in its community, that wants to open the door and shed light on a very frightening truth: each year hundreds of our nation's youth are violently abused and murdered simply because someone questions their sexuality."
I copied and pasted the synopsis from this website that I linked in case anyone wants to buy the script for whatever reason.
Now, you might be like "yeah, good on those kids for doing a show like that" but not only was this show put on, but it was changed. the directors (other students at my school) didn't make Justin gay.
They made him trans.
This is a HUGE fucking deal for my school, where not only are people constantly ostracized for being gay in any way, but especially if they're transgender. Pronouns are not respected, identity is not respected, basically, unless you're a straight white guy, you're not safe. sounds really different than most places, ik lol.
At any rate, the auditorium was packed. parents, grandparents, students, friends, siblings, everyone saw this show. The big reveal is that Justin is trans and was brutally murdered and that his grandmother is speaking to a court room at the end. The girl who played the grandma was actually crying by the time 8 other people filed in from the left and right of the stage carrying papers. They stopped without saying a word and held the papers in front of their faces.
The pictures in front of their faces.
Pictures of real people, real transgender people, who has been killed for their identities.
Almost everyone in the audience was crying too. The audience from a town with maybe 6,000 people. The audience where probably 1/2 of the people own a truck or live on a farm. The audience that was mostly transphobic or homophobic or racist. Crying.
I know it probably didn't change much and by Monday everyone will have forgotten about it (Either that or people will have memed it and turn it into something disgusting) but I really hope it helped a little. Changed someone's opinion a little, opened a mind or two.
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Creating UpLove
Finding Comfort and Safety in Being Openly Gay with Oneself and With Other
At twenty-three years old I unexpectedly met a man that I love. Love love. The kind of love that makes you think twice, the Sunday kind of love. I’m half in the closet and I feel safe here, safe living a double life. I feel secure here and with each step I take in coming out to the world I’m greeted with warm embraces from my friends, co-workers and hopefully one day soon, my family. I’m fortunate. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t embrace homosexuality and the LGBTQ community the way we do in Canada. UpLove, a newly created safe space, learning environment and online community resource centre can be accessed from countries around the world, providing unbiased information to the LGBTQ community and its supporters. UpLove has been built on Facebook and Tumblr to provide two different communities totalling over two billion users free access to information that will continue to update daily for as long the UpLove pages are active. The primary focus of UpLove is to touch on different areas the LGBTQ community face everyday; the good, the bad and the ugly. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is the core of UpLove. The articles, videos and photos that will be posted daily to each site will help support the most basic of human needs to self-actualization, thus helping men, women, boys and girls, globally feel confident with who they are, the decisions they make and the life they choose to live. UpLove is the hug for a little gay boy crying alone in his room, the sunlight shining brightly on the butch lesbian track star who stands out in more ways than one, the lyrics to Bill Withers’ Lean On Me for a husband/father/son/politician who’s driving in circles because he can’t go home to live another day lying.
UpLove is a global community of answers and inspiration for everyone. In addition to articles which will help with the highlight reels of the lives we see in the LGBTQ community there are also resources for what we leave off our personal Facebook accounts, don’t post on LinkedIn and wouldn’t want the world to read on the front page of the daily news. UpLove will also speak to sexual health, recreational drug use, suicide hotlines and the importance of mental and physical health. The world can be an intimidating place. As a gay man to some, a straight man to others, a son, grandson, brother, cousin, friend, boyfriend, co-worker, student and overall great fucking guy; I’m helping to paint a brighter world for anyone who wants it, needs it, or wants to help paint too. Colours will be vibrant, lines will be taken away, crossed, and blurred (queue Robin Thicke) -solace will be found. The perspective I use for article selection now and in the future will forever be changing and growing. I wish for followers and readers to remember one thing, that no matter how deep words can cut, how hard a beating can feel, how long recovery can take, everything will be okay if you just look UpLove (look up love).
There are tens of thousands if not millions of websites, blogs, vlogs, academic articles, movies, books, magazines, TED talks, online and hard copy publications, etc., that speak to the experiences that a large global community feel and UpLove is proud to join the list of global supporters. Homosexuality has been around so long that the Bible speaks to it. It is the opinion of many that homosexuality is blasphemous, unrighteous and unholy which has created a global stigma; one that has only in the past few years has become more widely and openly accepted. Across the globe men and women are still being publicly shamed, jailed, beaten and killed for being themselves. UpLove is a compilation of uplifting resources. Such spaces are required and have been for years to help both women and men be their true selves. With increasing bullying, cyber attacks, and political figures speaking negatively about homosexuality it is a very strong deterrent for anyone who might like to dabble in men, women, women and men and want to be open about who they are. Five particular organizations that come to mind immediately are Rainbow Railroad who “helps LGBT people escape persecution and violence”, Egale Canada “an advocacy organization founded to advance equality for Canadian lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their families, across Canada”, Pink Triangle Press “a Canadian organization which specializes in LGBT media including publishing, online interactive media, and television”, Hassle Free Clinic (Toronto) which “provides free medical and counselling services in many areas of sexual health to men and women” (anonymity optional), PFLAG Canada “a national non-profit organization which brings together family and friends of LGBT people in Canada.” Each of these organization is incredible, from the articles they write to the lives they save. Information can be hard to find, difficult to understand and often we can feel alone in our quest to be ourselves. UpLove supports the efforts of everyone on the path to self-expression as each of these organizations do.
UpLove’s purpose is to help people be themselves through the wisdom and guidance of others who have previously had similar experiences or are experiencing the thoughts, feelings and/or situations currently. The UpLove campaign consists of two social media platforms which reach over two billion users combined, allowing UpLove to help brighten the lives of those who read and or follow either or both pages. In wanting to help the LGBTQ community UpLove will strive to remove stigmas, help those living with a disease such as AIDS or HIV, help increase comfort with conversation about sex and sexuality, finding salvation in Canada, self love, acceptance, finding your pack, employment, feeling safe in your community, living in and leaving bad situations (including but not limited to family, friends, partners, and jobs), self help publications, websites, articles, suicide prevention hotlines, life saving and recreational drugs, and sexual health (awareness, safety, prevention and treatment).
It is my hope that over the coming months and years we build a following that is a true community with information always available to those who need it. UpLove will be on both Facebook and Tumblr to reach both younger and older generations alike. Facebook was selected for the older demographic and those who might not necessarily have ventured into other forms of social media. Tumblr was selected to reach a younger demographic, allowing for UpLove’s content and meaning to spread faster.This ongoing project was created because I understand the struggle, stigma, and loneliness of homosexuality in addition to the light that shines in one's life when you accept yourself for who you are. Over the past few years I struggled with self-acceptance and the wonderment of knowing if I would still be loved if I were to actually be myself, I had questions about sex and safe sexual practice, I wondered if there was a place I could go to find shelter should my family find out I’m gay and reject me. I’m still learning so many of these answers and with each passing day have more questions. I’m thrilled to know that all of these resources are there for both me and others in my current position as well as each position I will have in the future. The absolute importance and necessity of this project comes from the hate we see in the world today. I’m fortunate to live in a country where I can have a voice to speak for both myself and those who are unable to speak for themselves. Over the coming months I will work to increase the UpLove following, ensure content is relevant and remind our followers that they are not alone, I’m on this journey with them, and at any time they can reach out to any one of these organizations.
I wanted to create a project with a cause; and while brainstorming for ideas, I kept reading the definition of the word “cause”. I was unclear with which direction I would take, what meant the most to me and what I could openly and honestly speak to. I dug deep. I opened the floodgates of my heart, body and soul. I remembered past dark feelings and today, as I sit across the table from the man I openly love, I think about how everyone should be able to have this amazing feeling and the importance of having a full heart.
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The Empathy for Necrophiliacs Out of A Case Of Confederate Incest:
A Gender Professional's adventurous survey and discussion about Steven Pladl's Incestual Indoctrination of his daughter
by Michael Bench
<Submitted to the Oregonian>
It's the evening of April 12th ; less than a week after hearing about the stalled media reports of a father daughter couple arrest. Tonight their bodies are lifeless. Their childs' body is lifeless and Katie's stepfather is dead. Where we start with this story is Steven Pladl's selfish , reckless gratifications and the results of living for himself. About 20 years ago his now exwife Alyssa had a first child. They were young reckless teens having unprotected sex without the means to support pregnancy. Who was more reckless I don't know. Alyssa was pregnant at age 17 and gave up this child to adoption. That child was Katie. She's less than two hours dead right now.
Approximately 18 years later, Katie sought out her biological parents and was invited by Steven Pladl, her father, to move in. This time unprotected sex also seems to have occurred and in a situation no sex normally occurs. No innuendo can shield a father's lusts from taking their full social disgust to opportune sex with his daughter. She is/was cute, mind you. And, now there's a nearly warm Steven Pladl's body offering a welcome tight pucker for any Necrophiliacs that are into his type.
Just tonight I was on social media reminding the blogosphere of my disappointment in conservatives who weren't advocating for this antiscience traditional confederate example of family values. Do Americans living against science have an obligation to notice genetics? Is incest a rally of free speech against evolution? It was a love child (as Fox called it) made in conservative heaven and they wanted nothing to do with it.
Only 2 days and 45 minutes ago I had sent emails to ACLU and the Judges of Henrico County, VA citing a very simple point that consenting adults are not owed to state law biasing toward or against religion. Only 2 days and 45 minutes ago , I was led to believe any female voluntarily marrying their father would have to be convinced love was real. Shee would have to be equally into him; consenting adults have a right to their decisions. Would Sarah Palin defend them? No; She wouldn't shoo the arm of state law out of a marriage of one man and one woman. She wouldn't rail against Trump's use of celebrity video prostitutes either. He owes the national government $12,400 in taxes if he filed a joint return. Terms of marriage are terms of taxation.
This evening I see that love is a "not". Steven Pladl's love was as transient as his interest in a reputation. He is believed to have killed his wife-daughter, his grandson-son, his daughter's stepfather and himself; traveling from North Carolina to New York. If a guy is going to have a child with his daughter, lets be sure he understands it’s a symbol of commitment both tragic and karmic that he better damn well support her like any other wife. A consenting daughter, that is. These aren't ideals I craft, I'm more dusting off what advocacy Charlottesville supremacists would take no white pride for. When I decided to take the defense on behalf of religious freedom from Evolution, be sure you understand I'm okay with the southern confederates polluting their gene line into crosseyed idiots. I didn't put them up to it. I didn't tell Katie to go see her father of all people for a hot beef injection. These are the type's of details to send Katie's mom straight off for divorce. In North Carolina , two generations of the (Pladl) females didn't demand condoms. The conditions of stupidity are undereducated sexual maturity skills. What do Necrophiliacs feel about this? I wondered. How similar do they feel this is to Josef Fritzls abuse of his daughter. It really did now turn to abuse.
There's still these bodies around and leads us to our survey: Texting local Necrophiliacs:
Is Steven Pladl a good piece of ass? If you were going to judge this situation, How would you react to the opportunity to get on this fresh piece of meat?
Reacting to what you know about Stephen Pladl : What pickup line best expresses your opinion of this situation?
A: There is something broke in you. I think we can both agree we have irreconcilable differences and I'll hate fuck you.
B: Dahmmmn you freaky, I can top your bottom all rot long.
C: Well, Usually I 'd let you mourn your wife and kids but I guess since YOU KILLED THEM I'll ask for your blessing for marriage over your shoulder. I've been on a dry spell since they installed cameras at the local cemetery. Something monogamous of yours just fell onto the road.
D: No way. If I were ever going to pole you, It would be with a fishing gaff right out of your mom before you did anything else stupid.
Now why would I ask this? Superficially Necrophiliacs are our litmus test of decency. Has Steven Pladl done something to his identity so awful not even a necrophiliac would get on his pudd? Now, the deeper issue… approximately 7 inches deeper into his chilling colon. Inmate equality. Normally sexual activity is not allowed between inmates. We know these inmates are making each other their pleasure domes. Unfortunately , tonight I have sympathy for incarcerated necrophiliacs that have had no good luck getting at the shiv victims. Or worse, maybe inmate corpses are just too fresh. I don't know the fetish.
As a guy looking for the very top federal offices, I see this as a moment to look out for the little guy. To bring around just a little bit of happiness and affection out of this tragedy. Wouldn't you agree Steven Pladl treats women nothing more than an orifice of pleasure? It's Karmic. The exception case feeds the exception cases.
And where affection is not: When I contacted Henrico court, Virginia, I was not asking to discuss anything with Steven Pladl. Katie was left in jail while Steven was out on bail. Hasn't this girl been abandoned once already? I called for her release well after her freedom was already secured. It was a fresh story retelling dated material; her jailers ignored she had a child to take care of and a husband no matter how society felt about it. The state was neglecting the child and discriminating against her. She wasn't looking to reconnect for a new boyfriend and simultaneously she had very little biological inhibition to regard Pladl as her father. Just products of the good ol boy environment not caring a damn. Recklessness created this entire scene. I type of recklessness that no necrophiliac can share blame for. The crimes of the living southerners against each other made footprints past a step too far. The charges as well: We have murderers in the court system pleading down to jaywalking. IS that who should be free, really? Warrants by Henrico seemed fully ignorant of the outcomes of incarcerating only Steven Pladl while Katie would be locally weighed down with childcare. Her flight risk was low.
Four things I'd like to see come of this:
I 'd like the wedding party of surviving adoption family members to be detailed about the entire situation of Katie's seeking out her parents to her deathbed. Televised interviews.
Second, If daughter and father somehow find cause to consensually start a relationship.. despite the fact I call this Incuban Fetish related… and genetically incompetent… that a functional relationship has emotional fairness no matter who the partners are.
A scorn of conservatives for only playing the easy field for anti science and not protecting one man-one woman marriage. Distinct failures include Trump, Pladls and the ambivalence to cashing in on 'gay mental illness' by regulating the fashion model anorexia industry. Even when republicans have creationist means on their side they're too lazy to regulate for good purposes.
Finally, the medias attention to this story was delayed to an umpteenth degree so seriously compromising that it may have led to this extreme series of reactionary steps to undo what Steven came to believe was a mistake. Sex is not a mistake. Born children are not mistakes. Asking your daughter to marry you is not a questionably hazy intent.
Tonight Steven Pladl killed people to save his reputation. Tonight lives ended. To Pladl, they were only objects in his kingdom of wants. Had Steven truly 'brainwashed his daughter' into physical relations, this case would truly adhere to my definition of Incuban Fetish. In the very same as-yet-unpublished article , I divulged a similar ego/narcissism disorder known as "Pharaoh Hex".(2014) When you see homicide suicides by males concerning their families, it tends to be an episode of lack of control.
A lawyer firm partner gets pushed out, he feels out of control of his reputation. The double murder suicide of Wrestler Chris Benoit was captioned by his suicide not indicating preparedness to leave this Earth. With him he took 'his familial possessions".
Benoit was regarded as having serious brain damage from his wrestling career. We can suspect Steven Pladl might also have some problems. After all, make no hesitations to wonder if he thought this was normal and how. Was he molested? Does he have some form of undisclosed derangement that only white people get? Fox news went so far as to call the birth a "love child", such a mitigating sympathy press that Blacks, Asians, and Hispanics would not.
It's now exactly 3 days after we first read about Steven Pladl and Katie Pladl. They're dead sooner than initial press reaction has had its time. I found purpose to write this article in caution to other parents who have an abnormal affinity for your daughters or sons. I will hope that you have more sense than tarnish the family unit relationship. If for some reason your adult children go along with it; like a funny roleplay of incest; I hope you see it's not innocent. Can it be all that bad to reenact from the porn movies online? the people in your family are more than role play characters. Using them for your wants is not what families do. A family of enemies nurtured to hatefuck each other will most likely abuse each other in other ways. That closes to wonder if Katie Pladl is a dead now or dead later case. Will Steven plays the father card too often in disagreements? As disagreements do happen; a control issue that started as recklessly as forgetting to pull out has now killed her. What else might've happened that would've killed her? He was capable of murder for his own means. He'd go so far as to kill two of his children and an adult and that’s what we know.
So keep the body fresh and lets have an inmate lottery
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Week 2, 2017 - New beginnings, same old shit
Well now, here we are. You may be asking yourself, “Dan, you fetid hunk of beetle corpses, we aren’t even doing fantasy this year, and also, what the fuck is on your face?” To which I would respond, “Well walrus penis- can I call you walrus penis? - yes, walrus penis.” I’m still mad, and though I don’t think I can carve out enough time to care about fantasy football, what with a baby on the way, I still have time to get pissed off about the Colts, and the fucking world in general. I mean, Christ have you seen Earth? Fucking hell. One night in college I decided “Rum is going to be the alcohol I drink. That’s gonna be my signature booze,” and drank a whole goddamnned bottle in one night. The next morning I was convinced I had woken up under the wheel of a still running el Camino. That is basically the state of Earth right now.
So why the mask? Well, in case you hadn’t noticed, this column is filthy as all shit fuck balls. Before I didn’t give a shit cause it was just you guys reading it. As we all know, nobody is able to actually share anything cool from our fantasy football page so it didn’t matter. Now that it’s on the real internet I would rather my employer not see this, or people that I just casually know. Like I’m walking down the street and some lady from my mother-in-law’s quilter group is like “that’s the evil man who’s column turned my grandson into a swearing monster. And also made him gay.” I don’t really know about the last part, that bitch is cray.
Now I’m Tiger Dan. I will be referred to as such from now on here. If we’re in person just call me Dan, unless I get famous enough to make public appearances in gimmick brother, brother. If you’re here and not from the fantasy football league, then you probably work with one of those assholes, so I won’t give you any shit because that’s punishment enough.
But that’s not why you clicked this. No, you clicked this to get the hottest takes in the saggiest package. You can to get your dickbag of the week. I’mma make you wait.
First off, lets begin with last week, which was the worst display of “football” I have ever seen in my life. The Colts were so pathetic. I did not expect much, but I expected something resembling a professional football team. Not a hodgepodge of rec league softball players that think they have one more down in them and JV football washouts. Don’t worry. After you fail at this I’m sure the mall security force will be happy to take you in. Then you can harass some college kid you think has marijuana and a better life than you. (Hint: it’s because they do)
Also, Pagano somehow regressed. I feel like at some point he knew something about football. He had to. But somewhere down the line he started hitting the superlatives too hard. It started with just one “grind it out” every once in a while to unwind, but now he needs to have 3 or 4 “we have the heart and grit”s every morning just to get to normal.
Lulz Tolzien. Lulzien. How’s it feel to be bested by Tom Brady’s second best backup when he’s had the playbook for a week? Make you feel good? Well I’m glad someone’s happy.
But then something magical happened. This morning I raced for the cure. We didn’t win, but we got enough points to unlock Rainbow Road. But I digress.
As such, I didn’t get to follow the game until it had started, and I was SHOCKED to find that we somehow were up 10-0. Could it be? Is Brissett actually he who was named? Forged of fire and ice? Did we actually learn anything and improve?!
You scared me there for a little Colts. I thought you were actually going to be worth my time this year and I was going to have to shell out some money to get the world’s worst streaming service, NFL Sunday Ticket. As it is, you’re still garbage and I can get by listening to the Colts the same way I did this weekend, which brings me to the main event.
Dickbag of the Week:
Bob. Fucking. Lamey. You miserable sack of everything wrong with the Midwest. You’re mayonnaise on french fries. You’re “Tasty” videos with cream cheese as primary components. You’re candy corn frappachinoes. Every time I try to say “hey, here’s something cool about my home!” in Portland, I’m met with an article about how someone that looks just like Bob Lamey that loves Trump, but didn’t think he’d take away their medicare. The fact that you exist is making us all look bad.
I’ve been listening to this man for something like a 1000 years. Granted, sometimes I can’t tell if I was listening to Bob Lamey, or if I was listening to my Dad talking about my peewee football team. “Somehow we just need to make sure Trevor is hitting his man,” or some bullshit like that. These are GROWN MEN Bob. They aren’t your kids. They’re professionals out there doing a fucking difficult job. Stop acting like you’re going to take them to the corner DQ for buster bars after the game and treat them like adults.
And nothing is worse than when you get your “disappointed” voice going. We all know how it sounds.
“Reggie, in the flat, Peyton AIRS IT OUT HE’S GOING DEEP THIS IS GOING TO BE - he dropped it….he just dropped it…dangit Reggie. You can’t be making mistakes like that. Now Reggie, come on- this is just not us. This is not Colts football.”
Fuck you it’s not Colts football. I hate to break it to you the only constant in Colts football is Irsay’s continued coke fueled involvement in the team. Everything else is cyclical. Being a “Colt” is not something someone becomes at age 13 at some horseshoe barmitzvah. Guys will come and go, and what is or isn’t Colts football will be dictated by them. Telling me that Scott Tolzien sneezing in a manner that somehow converts to a pick six isn’t “Colt’s football” isn’t good analytical insight.
And you know this sack of shit loves Pagano. They are cut from the same fucking wide ass cloth. I would like to clarify though that that cloth is wide only for Lamey’s sake. Pagano is normal sized, it’s just that Lamey is such a prime example of the dormant lifestyle that he requires double the cloth.
Even during the broadcast today he gave pulled out this little chestnut. When talking about Pagano’s incredibly bushleague decision to not challenge a bad call that would’ve gotten us a touchdown - a decision that Pagano himself has said was a mistake - Lamey said something along the lines of “We got word from the league office in New York and they said even if it was challenged, they didn’t see anything to overturn it, if you can believe that. So you all talking about it, it didn’t make a difference so that ends that.”
Do you hear yourself? That’s some Hannity level of schilling for the boss. It doesn’t matter? Even if you heard “from New York” which - lets face it, the closest you ever got to having a source in New York was when Pizza Hut carried extra thin crust pizza - it shouldn’t matter that the play wouldn’t have been over turned. It was still an incredible failure as a strategist and a coach to not challenge that play. Lamey’s the type of guy that argued we should keep Tolzien over Morris, even though Morris was clearly better, because he showed more heart and hustle in practice. He’s the kind of guy that complains about guys being “distractions,” while not a word is mentioned about Irsay’s latest porn tweet. He BLEEDS BLUE #chuckstrong #onegame #nextmanup #protecttheshield #tweetcaroline.
And you know what’s terrible? Even if Irsay pisses off his dealer enough that he’s killed in some cartel crossfire, I’ll still have to put up with you. YOU’RE AN INSTITUTION, someone who’s opinion I don’t care about will say. You’re the type of old man piece of shit that people keep telling me is worth having around because of your down to earth wisdom, like Mike Ditka and Hawk Harrelson. But you’re really just some old guy that thinks the league would be better if players all stood during the anthem and if they started hitting during practice again.
I hate that you’re my only option if I don’t want to pay $1,000 to watch SOME of the Colts games on Sunday Ticket. I hate that you’re what somebody hears if they’re flipping through radio stations on a Sunday in Indianapolis. I hate that it’s your voice over all the greatest highlights of the Colt’s Super Bowl year. Do us all a favor and roll your fat ass to some B&B in Brown County and stay there forever.
So that’s it for the first public dickbag. Please like, share, and subscribe…nah just kidding.
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Historic accuracy also extremely touchy subject opinions
Censure is everywhere these days but facts cannot change for example The painting birth of Venus , Venus is naked Lets do another shall we apparently soldiers who where gay and where found out where either fired ( or whatever they call it military terms are just that to me) or where expected to where badges i state this as a fact but i just heard this from protomario on YouTube . Heres a big one slavery happened no one is happy it happend bit it happend it was everywhere it was popular and theres a reason it happened . Romans stole the culture of other countrys regularely Cristians or rather the spanish inquisition are dicks you know why ? Because They claimed pan a greek deity with goat hooves and horns was satan wich is just one thing They did , i could rant endlessly about the cultural destruction caused by them Japan had its borders forced open Sinterklaas was a saint he was pretty cool none is quite sure where zwarte piet came from ,Some say Chimney Sweepers Some say slaves nobody cares because we Grew up loving the helpers of the saint who punched a fellow catholic because of conflicting beliefs Kali is an Indian vanmpire like goddes she wears a necklace of skulls and a skiet made of arms in most ancient depictions thats about it . Loki is a slut and Odin rides his grandson to war . Hades is the chillest dude of them all Bastet used to be a lionness instead of a cat Anubis is another relatively chill god of death Seth is the ashole in those stories most of the time. Hel got thrown in the underworld because Odin decided she was a monster People Will always be people Nobody even things about forcing China to change its ways for a reason Nobody cared about boobs in ancient egypt probably The status of liberty is a lady and stands for liberty for all Slaves where not exclusively black Japan is full of japanese people so black and while people are a minority there Africa is full of african people so white ,asian ,latina and the like are a minority there The Netherlands are weird our culture is bases on diversity and commerce and staying out of wars because we're a tiny country and can't do much else other then wait things out. Shell has zero decency Sweden is full of white blond and blue eyed people Seriously people racism is racism the jews cant get away with being an asholes because nazi's where jerks to them its still being an asholes regardless who does it does Anyone know who turin is ? Because LOOK HIM UP a black person being able to demand white people to pay more taxes because of what happened in the past is a goddamn miracle that shit was not possible in the past damnit don't be blind. America has a different court systeem then Europeanen countrys European voting systems prevent people like Geert Wilders from being able to do too much damage since the second world war because of how Hitler came to power During the second world war there weren't alot of women in the army Germany is a white country because white people have lieve there for centuries now dont be dense about it The swastika is a thing that exists this symbol has a long history and not everything looks like a bloody swastika don't be dense and call people a nazi because sommeone has a black triforce as their profile picture Fantasy and reality are two separate things Thinking a book is accurately represantitive of reality is a serious problem according to my teachers and a sign of potential psychosis Pedofilia is horrible and viel and Anything that can or Will hurt children is horrible so Please stop removing that wich is preventing them acting on those vile desires . Chimpansees are horrible creatures( opinion bases on the fact they eat each other ) America is terrifying The Bible contains Many life lessons regardless of version wich ones you take to heart is your OWN decision because it contradicts itself pretty consistently Abel and cain where brothers cain murdered his younger brother out of jealousy The good samaritan is an amazing story and read up on it because its a worthy life lesson ( opinion) Equality is for all but that does not mean that the population of Japan Should be 25 percent asian 25 percent white 25 percent latina 25 percent white 50 per ent male and female Japan is overcrowded and you'd be destroying a way of life more then its already been destroyed Its unrealistic and foolish to think you'd be able to expect such an equalizer spread of people everywhere like that pulling that kind Of thing with even one country is inmpossible if you want gay people in your game fine but oh you want this to be prior to the second world war in britain ? Be prepared for serious angst drama and the disgusting nature of the dark corners of British history You want females in your medieval historicly accurate game or book wel you beter be talking about Jeanne de arce only otherwise its fantasy rather then history Boobs don't work that way
#sensitive subject#opinions#facts#racisme#sexism#questions are inmportant#let's discuss#bloody tags dont even work properly anymore#i dont have an english keyboard so the whole page is red underlined
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