#and now it's been. 2 hours of me writing this from start to finish <3333< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[snow-and-saltea]

mhmm!! i've talked w reo about this in the milfs gc (ignore the name), lemme reiterate my thoughts about it here:

it's less about "he would not fucking do that" and more about "what would it take for him to fucking do that, and how do i build a reasonable case and situation in which he WOULD do that?"

this is going to be a bit tangential, so please bear with me for a bit:

i have a problem with people stereotyping or leaning too hard on archetypal depictions of the characters, because 1) it feels superficial and surface level, i am not learning anything new from your point of view 2) sometimes the point of the text or media is that we are in a convenient vantage point where we are able to see multiple facets of the same character. for example, the way one character interacts with a stranger is different than how they interact with their friend, or loved one, or enemy or rival, and so we are given the opportunity to have a clearer and fuller picture of that character looks like as a whole.

my problem with stereotyping in writing is that it is often oversimplified and also not contextual. sure, someone is commonly known as the asshole of the fandom, but are they doing it for no reason? a character's asshole-ishness is still an EXPRESSION of their personality, which means they have certain ways of thinking, judging, feeling, and perceiving the world that comes out in asshole-y ways. this is what i mean by stereotyping. when we stereotype, we often take out the part of the equation where we have to ask ourselves: wait, why did they do this? what was their thought process? did they have a goal in doing this? and instead we fall back on common known traits of the character (perhaps their fanon interpretation) and as a result the character doesn't come across as "alive" as they could've been.

(this doesn't mean that the writer still can't make them an asshole though; as long as you show your work in explaining their thought processes in a believable, convincing and human way [ie. prone to cognitive biases and errors in judgement], you can take that and use it as plot hooks in your story!)

people are still people no matter their personalities, which means EVERY person has the capacity and opportunity to experience ANY emotion. so when you lean too hard on either spectrum of temperament or trait, you risk writing the character in a way that isn't contextual (too generic and broad), too flat (scripted and impersonal) or too boring (predictable and not the point of transformative works like fanfic for me***). they can experience different feelings and no one is above feeling any sort of emotion!! we are not so infallible!! but they ARE limited to the confines of their personality, psychological maturity and reasoning ability in which they are able to express and process that emotion.

***this is a personal opinion only, my word means nothing in the grand scheme of things, people write for their own reasons. i'm just explaining what would be most compelling for me to read and write, and why, as it's inline with the spirit of this post talking about the complexity of writing characters that seemingly "betray" their fundamental traits.

taking op's point further, yes, i agree! i much more like the question of "what would it take / how would it be done" in order to verify if a character is acting inline with their characterization.

something i talked to reo for a bit in the milfs gc (again, ignore the name) is a comparison between two genshin characters, alhaitham and kaveh. i used them as comparison because they are, in my opinion, characters that are most widely misunderstood and misinterpreted. (although it's not always in a bad way, sometimes the misinterpretations are funny as hell or it's for a Bit so i'm like, hell yeah man!!)

specifically, i talked about their attitudes towards interpersonal problems. to illustrate it better for people who don't play genshin (good for your health honestly <33), i'm going to list a few traits in these characters so that you can see my point more clearly, and show how they might** manifest as both flaws and strengths.

**keep in mind the 'might'. it doesn't mean that all listed qualities are present or happened in canon, i'm just taking things further and listing all the possibilities. these may vary from character to character, because some characters do have these traits but the narrative or story forces them to confront it earlier on, and as a result they appear more balanced as a person.

alhaitham

- intellectual rigor / critical / independent > strengths: impervious to appeals to emotion such as emotional blackmailing and guilt-tripping. can only be persuaded with sound and logical arguments, and if someone is speaking through reasonable practical experience. prioritizes personal judgment rather than thinking or acting on behalf of other people (in most cases except kaveh), not as likely to be roped into mob mentality attitudes because he doesn't take others' opinion of him to judge his own character. reluctant leader; he is good at making plans and placing the right people at the right place, but dislikes the workload that comes with being competent, which means he prefers to do important but in-the-background work, where he is most effective with the least amount of unnecessary attention. principled and consistent in actions and belief. > weaknesses: insensitivity in a "it is what it is" way, private about his true feelings (that are not just logical judgements of right and wrong; true or false) that obstructs in making healthy and intimate relationships of expressing vulnerabilities. individualistic approach that makes one prone to selfishness or self-centered thinking. doesn't rely on others but himself and therefore doesn't ever truly allow people the opportunity to understand him better by seeing him when he's vulnerable.

kaveh

- selfless / moral / optimistic > strengths: warm and open attitude that enables easier access to making connections and relationships with other people. fearlessness in standing by other people and loyal. makes people feel welcome and have their presence affirmed. sees the "point" in other people's words, even if they are badly presented, and takes initiative in giving people courtesy and grace with his good faith an unconditional acceptance. a good listener and skillful at perspective-taking. feels for other people's pain. principled at all costs. > weaknesses: fuzzy emotional boundaries; not knowing what problems and feelings are yours and what problems and feelings are others that you've chosen to undertake to "solve" or help with. susceptible to getting carried away by other people's emotional intensity, rendering his own standing difficult. inflexible ideals and stubbornness (due to him placing specific importance over a select morals and virtues, judges other people who don't share the same virtues). messy personal life due to carrying out impractical ideals. narrow understanding of how to live a good and moral life that doesn't account for people of various personalities and temperaments. chronic guilt.

for a thought exercise, i asked myself this: what situation would make alhaitham, someone so impervious to other people's petty interpersonal conflicts that he does not usually involve himself in, be emotionally invested in making efforts to rebuild harmony and be the one to take the leap of faith (instead of deciding that someone else's life and happiness is not his responsibility)? what situation would make kaveh, someone so empathetic to people's grievances, be closed off to someone's ask for help and make him say no and walk away?

that's where context comes in! you can look back at the character's history and relationships and see the outliers in their pattern of open and trusting/closed off and energy-saving distance. maybe you remember that alhaitham, despite not wanting to trouble himself with interpersonal relationships and is staunchly against "coddling" someone for their own mistakes, extends a hand to kaveh to become his roommate. maybe you remember that kaveh, someone who is usually patient and optimistic with people to see the best in them, blows up at alhaitham for his perceived egotistical faults.

those "anomalies" seemingly look like they contradict each other to the outside, but the way the characters make it make "sense" in their head is also something interesting to note. although kaveh is tolerant and idealistic, it also means that he is judgemental of critical people and so-called "realists" who dim his light. although alhaitham is lukewarm and analytical, his calm demeanour and distance from strong emotions allows him to see through emotional outbursts and still not give up on them, rather than doing the sensible thing and leaving someone who wants to be left alone (ironically making him skilled at reading the people he cares for).

by asking why, why do they do that, why do they think that way, why do they have that belief and where does it come from, we can come to investigate the small contradictions and biases in the character's personalities, and in turn start to build a context or basis for the character who would usually not do that, do that!

i'm sorry if this is very rambly!! these are just my 2 cents on the things i've observed and figure out my own solution to. as always, you're free to disregard what works and doesn't in order to find your Own way to write. good luck to everyone trying to get over the "would he fucking do that" obstacle!!!

Expanding a thought from a conversation this morning:

In general, I think "Is X out-of-character?" is not a terribly useful question for a writer. It shuts down possibility, and interesting directions you could take a character.

A better question, I believe, is "What would it take for Character to do X?" What extremity would she find herself in, where X starts to look like a good idea? What loyalties or fears leave him with X as his only option? THAT'S where a potentially interesting story lies.

In practice, I find that you can often justify much more from a character than you initially dreamed you could: some of my best stories come from "What might drive Character to do [thing he would never do]?" As long as you make it clear to the reader what the hell pushed your character to this point, you've got the seed of a compelling story on your hands.

[bysaber]

HIYAAA, this is me, IM SO HAPPY YOU WANT TO BE MOOTS WITH ME AS WELL, so far ive finsihed most of my assignments I just a few that take a little more longer and so much more effort but after that im so taking a big break.

so true though, ive been a ghost user since I joined and that was like 2020 I totally saw the rise and the fandom of the superwholock era but I never really joined in on it as I haven't watched those shows so Tumblr was like an app that was there but I wasn't using it every hour of the day as I am now, it has now become my favourite escape from reality other than sleeping (and even that could use some improvement like lucid dreaming or maybe even shifting) >_< so ive just been a consumer on here until I see like blogs that drop posts within a minute and the next day it has more than like 10,000 notes (WHICH they soo deserve bc damn they write so majestically) and I was like man I would die if even one person liked my posts and liked what I wrote, I cant even imagine how I would react to 100 let alone 10,000. like I think I would sob. and the way blogs write their posts, you can tell they put their whole mind and soul and everything into it, its so beautiful. so this community really ignited my previously dead passion for writing and I love it for that.

I have no experience in working but I think I might have to start soon since my situation sort of demands it so I have no idea what its like but I can only imagine changing 100% of a campaign is more than stressful, I hope it goes well for you and you get more free time to yourself.

also I noticed you said mother language, i'm actually curious, what's your mother language?

also side note: I was rereading your sukuna body and soul fic (for like the nth time bc I cant get enough of it) and I was so shocked bc like I LOATHE sukuna after like everything he did ARGH I cant express how much I hate him but omg that fic, mmmh, it hit different because my hatred for him, boom, somehow became nonexistent and im daydreaming about being the reincarnated lover of this epitome of evil man. im literally catching feelings that's how good it was.

i really enjoyed your reply and I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me, its honestly the first time im having interactions other than likes on here. and im so glad that I get to be mutuals with you.

hope you're doing well, >>>>3333

euorian.

I'm so happy to finally meet you, boo! <3

I hope you can finish your assignments asap and enjoy the New Year's and also a good break!!

I actually watched 2/3 of superwholock so it was... an experience!! I also get so happy when I see authors with that many notes because I know how they put their hearts into their writing and they totally deserve it. and they're doing it FOR FREE, it's kinda insane especially when we read some shakespearian level kinda thing.

and I can tell you even one interaction makes a big difference, people like you -- taking a bit of your time to write a little something -- supporting us mean the world. so, thank you again. and I assure you I'll be there to support you as well with your writing ^_^

and AHHHHHHHHH I'm so glad you liked my sukuna!!! I'm gonna tell ya I'm NOT a sukuna girlie lol. gojo is my fav jjk character (toji and megumi fight for 2nd place). BUT I think sukuna is a great villain, he's hot af and I mean-- I WOULD. and the idea of that big bad monster, the king of curses, being obsessed with a woman? A SIMP? IM DOWN.

definitely gonna write more about him.

my mother language is portuguese !!!

you can always talk to me, send me DMs, whatever u want! again, its nice to meet you, euorian. <3

[whatcouldgowrong-ohthat]

Us and Andie Ch. 2

Summary: Bucky works as an Avenger because it’s what’s right. He feels he has sins he’ll never be able to make up for, but he’ll spend the rest of his life trying. However, his life takes an unexpected turn when he comes across Andie, the daughter of recently divorced Y/N. The life he had once “maintained” in hopes of surviving changes as his heart warms for a tough-as-nails nurse and her wonderful daughter.

Pairing: Bucky x singleparent!Reader

Word Count: 3333 words <<< that has to be lucky!!

Warnings: Nothing. This is a chaotic chapter where Avengers meet Andie and Bucky is just plain worried. 

Next chapter has Bucky and Reader interacting! It seems someone has to tell Y/N what her kid has been up to all day.

This IS in response to @buckyssoul’s writing challenge! But the dialogue hasn’t been used yet. XD

Three days.

Three days avoiding the subway…staying at the compound…and not even setting foot in Brooklyn. So much for returning to routine.

If anyone in the compound noticed, they didn’t say anything. However, he could tell Sam and Steve were dying to every time he stepped into the same room. But he didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to talk about Andie or her mother. He wanted to forget they existed. And the lengths he would go to consisted of several hours in the gym, blaring music when he was alone, trying to watch movies as a distraction. Nothing worked. So desperate times called for desperate measures.

“You never want to go running.”

Bucky finished pulling his hoodie over his head, his fingers deftly working to pull his hair out of his face. He glanced back at the door, not sure what he should say to Sam. “Your point?”

“That is my point. You never want to go running. Any time you’re working out – it’s cooped up in that gym.”

“Don’t want me hoggin’ Steve?”

Sam laughed, watching but not commenting as Bucky pulled on his glove. “Hey, I’m still going. There’s no stopping that. I wanted to make sure you’re alright, man. You’ve been around a lot lately.”

He hesitated before quickly shrugging it off. He didn’t want to talk about it. “I just…” Bucky gnawed at his lip, struggling to find the right words. “I need the distraction.”

Sam nodded. It seemed enough was said in so few words. “Well then, let’s go. Steve sent me to grab your ass.” He smirked, crossing his arms. Any chance to tease him, it seemed he would willingly take.

Bucky rolled his eyes, shoving Sam out of the way and closing the door behind him.

“What, no hat?”

He bit the inside of his cheek – the flashing image of a toothy-grinned Andie staring up at him now front and center in his mind. “Not today.”

Here was his problem. Today should have been a good day. In all reality, it was beautiful outside. There were no clouds. It was actually starting to get warm with signs of spring everywhere. And yet, Bucky found himself struggling. He kept thinking back to that little girl.

“Her name’s Y/N.”

He wondered what Y/N had hidden in her locket.

“Bucky, you listening?”

He blinked, looking back at Steve and Sam. They had just finished their seventh mile. But not at the compound. No, Steve had decided that Bucky needed to get out. So here they were. In Central Park. He glanced down at the coffee in his hand. That’s what they were doing now. Breakfast.

Made sense. Nice day meant they should stay out longer, right?

And it was. It was a nice day. It was meant to be a good day. So why did he feel like something was missing?

“I didn’t know Peter had a sister.”

Bucky frowned at Steve’s comment. He turned in the direction he and Sam were looking and noticed that Peter was hanging out with a couple kids closer to his age. But then there was someone else. Someone a little younger, a little scrawnier.

With that damn hat on her head.

Clenching his jaw, he shoved aside that hopeful feeling in his chest. Why did that damn kid keep getting that reaction?

She looked better than when he saw her a couple days ago. And it was a relief. He would never admit it out loud, but he’d been worried about Andie. She’d been such a mess on the subway…

She already has a shitty role model for a dad. You really think you’d be any better?

The truth was, he didn’t know if her dad was horrible. Hell, all he knew was that he didn’t do something she wanted, so she ran to her mom.

It’s not your problem.

“I’m goin’ back to the compound,” he told them. Turning on his heel, he walked away before even giving a chance for Sam and Steve to ask him why.

The two shared a look. Something was off with Bucky, but the idea of asking and getting a real answer was near impossible. Sam asked, “You want to talk to him?”

“Not right now. He needs space. Bucky…” Steve sighed. “Bucky always talks to me when he’s ready.”

“Seventy years later and you’re still so sure?”

“Kind of have to be.”

“Captain! Sam!”

The two looked up simultaneously, their faces something similar to two kids caught scheming to get cookies. Why? They hadn’t done anything wrong.

But they hadn’t exactly expected Peter to be waving them over.

“Hey, Peter.” Steve chuckled as Peter threw the ball again. The kid he was with ran backwards, jumping up and catching it.

“Who’s your friend, Web-head?”

Peter’s ears turned a bright pink at the nickname. He didn’t mind keeping his identity a secret. In fact, the teenager preferred it that way. But it still didn’t stop Sam from giving him ridiculously obvious nicknames to his alter ego. He quickly turned his head, catching the ball moments before it could collide with and break his nose. “That’s Andie.”

“Your sister?”

Peter glanced at Steve and shook his head, throwing the ball again. “No, I’m an only kid.”

“So what, superhero gig ain’t paying enough?”

He laughed at that, stumbling over the words to explain why he was hanging out with a kid so much younger than him. “Aunt May and I take care of her when her mom is working.”

“What’s her mom do?”

“She’s a nurse over in Brooklyn. Today was supposed to be a day off for her, but she had to pick up an extra shift.”

Brooklyn? The two soldiers seemed to gain more curiosity over that. Was Andie the reason Bucky had taken off or was it an insane coincidence?

“She a good kid?”

“Oh, definitely. You two don’t mind meeting her?” When they shrugged, Peter called out, “Andie, get over here! I got some guys over here that want to meet you!”

Andie paused and, in that moment, both men noticed the hat on her head. It looked an awful lot like a certain soldier’s. There was no way there were that many coincidences. Right?

“Hi.”

They jumped, looking down at her. How did a kid manage to sneak up on two Avengers?

Steve took in her hat. It was frayed around the edges, the color faded – he would bet money it belonged to his best friend.

But Sam was looking at her shirt, brow raised. That was not a girl’s shirt. It was a t-shirt of all the Avengers, clearly meant for boys, but she didn’t seem to care. And neither did he. What had his attention was the various sharpie décor that covered each Avenger’s face. In multiple colors, he might add. “Looks like someone got a little creative with their clothes, Cap,” Sam teased, earning a wrinkled nose and laugh from the girl.

Tony’s Iron-man suit had a curly moustache on it.

Thor had a pink bow in his hair.

Clint was given a rainbow mane and what he guessed was a…unicorn horn?

Spiderman had rainbow doodles all over his uniform.

Hulk had a Devil tail and horns to contrast with added Angel wings and halo.

The only ones untouched? Natasha. Steve. Sam. And Bucky.

No wonder Peter wanted them to meet her.

“Avenger fan, huh?” Steve crouched in front of her as she tilted her cap up.

Loose strands fell from her braid as she offered a shrug. “I like Bucky. He’s cool.”

“I resent that statement,” Sam said, crossing his arms.

Andie giggled. “I know. But that’s okay – Nurse Jones thinks you’re cute.”

“Oh, does she now?” Sam knelt to her side, grinning like the cat that ate the canary. He was always willing to hear about a Falcon fan.

Peter smiled at the sight. Knowing how much this would mean to Y/N, he pulled out his phone and snapped a couple photos. None of them noticed, but if they did, they didn’t acknowledge it.

“Yeah. I think Bucky scared her when they met.”

“Wait, Bucky met your friend?” Steve raised an eyebrow, doing everything he could to keep himself from smiling. It seemed all of their curiosities were being confirmed just by this girl’s bluntness.

“I want to keep her,” Sam whispered to Steve, earning a swat on the arm.

What he hadn’t expected was for the hit to come from Andie.

She raised an eyebrow, placing her hands on her hips. “Do I look like a pet to you?”

Sam felt his heart was ready to burst. Oh, this kid was priceless. Looking at Steve, he asked, “Please, can we at least take her back to the compound to meet the others?”

Her eyes lit up at that. “Can I meet Black Widow?”

“Oh, I can guarantee she’s going to want to meet you,” Sam assured her. He looked over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at Peter. “What do you think, Pete? Want to show our new friend where your internship’s at?”

Peter couldn’t hide his smile even if he wanted to. “Absolutely.”

--

It had only been a handful of hours since Bucky had left Steve and Sam at Central Park and God, he just wanted this day to end already. The longer he went without crossing paths with a certain dorky kid, the better off he’d be. But no. With all the people living in New York City, it was obvious that he would run into one eleven-year-old not once, but twice in less than a week. Because it was obvious. It was logical.

Because God hated him. That was why.

Pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes, he struggled to let the music blaring in his earbuds to simply distract him. That was all he needed. A good old-fashioned distraction.

He missed the days when he could get drunk. He really did.

Shuffling and thundering feet outside the door were felt more so than heard as Bucky stared at the ceiling. Maybe if he stared hard enough it would cave in? No, he wasn’t that lucky. Then it came again. Heavy footsteps whose vibrations he couldn’t ignore even if he wanted to. What the hell?

Bucky sat up, glancing at the door and seeing several shadows cross quickly underneath. What was going on?

A banging on the door made him jump. Steve’s voice shouting for him was enough to drag him out of bed. He yanked open the door, running a hand through his hair. Why did Steve look so guilty?

“What’d you do?”

“Uh…” He smiled, trying to look innocent, but failing miserably. This guy was going to send him to an early grave. “We need your help.”

Or was it a late grave at this point? He was a hundred.

“We?” Brow furrowing, Bucky asked, “What did you do?”

“You remember Peter and his friend at the park?”

Andie. Bucky’s shoulders tensed. Recognition flashed in his eyes and Steve knew he was going to get an earful later. But that could wait. Through gritted teeth, he asked, “What about her?”

“She needed to go to the bathroom and – “

“She?”

“Andie.”

“You brought her here,” Bucky asked, voice thundering in the corridor.

“Yes! But that’s not the issue right now.” Steve huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose before finally looking at Bucky. “We can’t find her.”

“You brought her here and lost her?”

“Sam wanted to introduce her to the rest of the team. I didn’t see it being a problem and you gave her your hat – “

“I was helping her home. That’s all that was.” Bucky slammed his door shut behind him. Running down the hall, he knew Steve was on his heels.

They stepped into the kitchen as Bucky wondered how the hell this could have happened. “You brought a kid to the Avengers Compound. There are weapons here! And people with PTSD. She could get hurt! Not to mention Tony’s lab that has God-knows-what in it.”

Steve watched Bucky, amusement flitting across his eyes. He was used to his friend being calm, cool, collected. He’d never seen Bucky so vocal. So worried and, dare he say, protective. Not since the 40’s at least.

“We’ll find her, Buck.”

“Before or after she pisses off the Hulk?”

Steve froze at that thought. He hadn’t even thought about Bruce. Surely a kid wouldn’t scare him, right?

But then again…Andie was extremely quiet and sneaky.

“I have Nat searching the training room. Clint’s covering the bedrooms. Sam and Peter are checking the grounds.”

“What about Bruce?”

“He’s meditating. Maybe it’d be best to leave him out of this one?”

Bucky nodded. If he was meditating, he was on the roof in his own little sanctuary. Surely Andie wouldn’t find her way up there. “Tony?”

“He’s locked up in his lab. We shouldn’t have to worry about her getting there.”

“Let’s keep him out of this. I really don’t want a lecture from the great Tony Stark,” Bucky muttered.

“It’s not exactly your fault. He wouldn’t blame you.”

“Tony blames me every chance he gets.”

Steve frowned, knowing it was true. Tony, though willing to let Bucky join the Avengers, still hadn’t forgiven him for his parents. It would take time and Steve was sure it would happen eventually, but Tony was extremely talented at holding a grudge. Clasping a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, he squeezed gently. “Wanda and Vision are out on a date and Thor’s off doing whatever he does. Just leaves us. We can check the garage and weapons facility.”

Bucky nodded. “Let’s go.” He couldn’t shake that worried feeling settling in his gut. He’d barely spent any time with this kid. By the sounds of it, the rest of the team had gotten to know her for a lot longer. So why was he so damn concerned?

As the two stepped out of the room, the glass doors to the kitchen shut with a ‘hiss’. Without even thinking about it, they hung a left, quickly forgetting about the room they had just been in.

It was quiet.

And completely empty.

Or so they had thought.

Andie came wandering in from where the kitchen’s tv and couch were set up. The place had too many rooms, but it seemed she had just been on the couch, sleeping. The only thing that had made the room oblivious to her was the back of the couch.

With every step she took, her body shimmered, turning invisible and revealing what was visible through her. She grabbed one of the barstools, dragging it to the kitchen counter as she let out a loud yawn. Her stomach rumbled as she climbed up, searching the cabinets for something to eat.

It took two cabinets to find something she deemed ‘good’. Turning around, she sat on the edge of the counter and popped open the large bag of peanut butter M&Ms. Shoving a handful in her mouth, she took in the fact that the room was completely empty.

Tilting her head, she called out, “Hello?”

Shrugging, she closed the cabinets and grabbed the barstool before putting it back where she found it. Her mom did teach her how to clean up after herself after all. Especially as a guest. Tucking the M&Ms under her arm, she wandered out the same door Bucky and Steve had gone.

Except she went right.

Another ‘hiss’ from the closing doors and a shuffling of feet were followed. Bruce entered from the other side of the room, wearing baggy sweatpants and a loose shirt. He looked like he had rolled out of bed. He took in the kitchen, the room he was used to seeing everybody in, and scratched the back of his head. “Where is everybody?”

---

The sun was setting outside, making Bucky even more nervous. How pissed would Y/N be if they lost her child? Probably a lot. Bucky ran a hand through his hair as he stepped into the foyer. Steve was right behind him and they both saw Peter and Sam heading their way. Peter ran ahead, panic clear in his features. Poor kid was probably as worried as Bucky was. And it was clear, they hadn’t found her.

“Any word from Nat or Clint,” Sam asked, jogging up to them.

“No sign of her.”

“How can one kid outsmart a whole team of Avengers?” Sam was clearly impressed, but that tone in his voice earned a glare from Bucky. He wasn’t impressed. Far from it. He was ready to shake some damn sense into that girl. The worry he had for Y/N’s concern was getting closer to frustration. Who raises a kid who just runs off and hides? He wanted to talk to her mother about raising the kid with some common sense. Good, decent common sense like not hiding from a team of Avengers.

“She has to be here somewhere. The grounds are massive, but she’s a kid. It’s not like she can drive.”

“Please, don’t put that image in my head, Steve.”

“Look, Ms. Y/L/N keeps calling and texting. I can only let it go to voicemail so many times, guys,” Peter said, voice cracking. He genuinely enjoyed looking after Andie when he wasn’t going to school or “Avengering”. She was a good kid. Normally at least. “We really need to find her. Please.”

“What do you think we’ve been trying to do,” Bucky huffed.

Peter took a step back, not wanting to piss off Bucky. Sam patted him on the back. Even if Peter irritated him from time to time, it wasn’t the kid’s fault. “Don’t be hard on him, Barnes. I take responsibility for this.”

“We all do,” Steve added.

Um…gentlemen?

F.R.I.D.A.Y.

Everyone was silent.

“Why didn’t we ask F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

Mr. Stark says it’s because you’re idiots. However, he does ask that you come join him in the lab.

They all shared a look. Did…Did Tony find Andie?

It didn’t take long for them to cross the compound. It seemed everyone was rather efficient when they weren’t panicking. Even Natasha and Clint had joined them, wanting to make sure that Andie was found and safely taken home. But Bucky was the one leading the way. He had to make sure that Andie was alright. He didn’t understand it, but he had to. He just…he had to.

Stepping into the lab, he looked everywhere. Several desks and works-in-progress littered tables and the floor. Some were even hung up. It made it impossible to see everything or even find Tony. He really had upgraded since moving from Stark Tower and Bucky hadn’t exactly made it his mission to come to this part of the compound.

“Over here, guys,” Tony called.

Everyone spun around. There, working on his newest suit, was Tony. He spun in his chair, waving a wrench as a sign of ‘hello’ before pointing to the nearby desk.

There, with chocolate covering her mouth, was Andie. She was throwing M&Ms into the air, catching them in her mouth before throwing them to –

Bruce.

He cheered when he caught one, high-fiving Andie before he saw that the rest of the gang had joined them. “Hey, guys! Look who I found.”

Andie glanced over her shoulder, her eyes lighting up when she spotted Bucky. His shoulders visibly relaxed when he saw that smile of hers. “Hi, Bucky!” She quickly turned back around, throwing another M&M in the air. Bruce caught it, falling out of his chair with a loud ‘thud’.

“That’s 15 to 14 now,” Bruce told her, pointing a finger as he fixed the chair.

“So…” Peter, Steve, and Sam all looked in Tony’s direction, but Bucky couldn’t tear his eyes off Andie. Relief was clear in his now relaxed features, but he might be a little worried she would pull another disappearing act. But that wasn’t what was important to Tony. Not right now at least. No, he was more curious about one thing in particular. “Mind telling me whose idea this was?”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Tag List:

@mr-robot-x  @lets--be-honest​

Send me an ask or comment if you want to be tagged! :)

[cyberstabbing]

Someone left a long and heart-felt message about THROAM to Anna Green on her curiouscat page and Anna replied with a long message as well. I’m pasting the text here so I don’t ever lose it:

May 1st, 2020

Anonymous: Part 1 of 2 — Hey Anna I followed THROAM back when I was heavy in the panic fandom; I would leave you these ridiculously long comments on lj and read your updates late into the night, when I knew my parents wouldn’t catch me. I was 15. Almost Famous was my favorite movie, Ryden was my otp, you were already my favorite fic author, and I loved nothing more than a long, developed, realism-based slowburn. When you started writing THROAM, it was like my dream fic had been dropped in my lap. I was so enthralled, so in awe of you, so appreciative of your craft. I remember those weeks between updates stretching seemingly endlessly. But I never resented the long waits; I re-read previous chapters, perused your other fics, and knew that you were taking the time because the time was worth it. Your attention to detail was unmatched. 

 I am now 25 years old now, with a master’s degree and a job. Nearly every 1-2 years of the past decade, I get a certain itch. And before I know it, I’m re-reading the anthology, page by page, just as consumed as I was the first time around. I find your dialogue and characterization so compelling that I often can’t help but quietly read the lines out loud to myself. Once I’ve picked it up, THROAM occupies much of my thoughts when I’m not actively reading it, and my nights stretch into the wee hours as I plow through the pages. I saved pdf versions of each volume long ago, but to also have the print copies on my shelf gives me such an enormous sense of relief. To know that whatever moves you make, whatever happens to lj or ao3 or the internet at large, I will still have my throam copies...that brings me joy. 

 I know that you have far outgrown this story, the role it played in your life, the time that you spent writing it, and the person you were back then. The thing is—so have I. It’s remarkable; I am not an active member of any fandoms and am a very different version of myself from the girl who followed this fic’s release. And the version of myself who re-read it my first year of college is a different person from the girl who re-read it as she started her first job. So many different lonely chapters of my life, always punctuated by a return to this old friend. Because of fic stigma, shame, and the whole panic at the disco + lots of explicit sex thing, I refrain from ever sharing the volumes with others, so it feels like I have this little, ever-expanding world of my own with THROAM. Such a huge part of my life, and nobody I know knows a thing about it. It’s special, really. (Cont’d)

pineconepickers: <3333 answer in the next one!

Anonymous: Part 2:  Some pages I can practically recite from memory, and yet others read as fresh and surprising each time around. I still feel the same frustration and pain, I’m still swept up by the allure of Ryan’s fame, the impressiveness of his talent, I’m still enthralled by the mad world of 70s rock, I still chuckle at R’s snarky internal monologue and shake my head at his deeply ego-centric world view, it the boys’ cowardices and braveries, at their spite and their bitterness and their love. I still feel the same flutter in my heart at some of the more tender scenes. I still smile softly when I notice the subtle shifts (messy and tentative) towards growth in Ryan’s character. I’m still shocked by just how invested I am in the many side characters, how fully rounded they all are. And it’s still the hottest sex I have ever, ever read. 

 I was an English major who now teaches English, and I have never had this kind of relationship with another text. Nothing has ever been so relentlessly revisitable, nothing ever nags at me if I go too long without re-reading, nothing consumes me quite like this, and few character dynamics have ever been quite so compelling. The 25 year old woman who had long shaken the fandom world feels so grateful to have been in the right place at the right time to have discovered this story. And I am eternally grateful to you for the care, effort, and absolute labor of love this story demanded. As an avid fic defender and devotee, you shifted my whole paradigm of what fic could be. This masterpiece set the bar impossibly high. Furthermore, thank you for continuing to make it accessible to fans old and new. 

Anyway, as I marvel at this fic’s everlasting effect and your writing’s power, I just had to say my piece. It’s been a decade since I last waxed poetic in full fangirl mode at you. Seemed like the time was ripe. 

Best and sincerely grateful,  C

pineconepickers: Hi, C! Wow I really did not expect to wake up to this and it's left me quite speechless, to be honest. First of all, I am so touched by this letter and would love to give you a hug, but social distancing and all that. ;) Then, to be consistent, tut tut to your minor self for reading explicit adult content - I have to say this because it is a line I feel ever more strongly about, but of course I too used to read adult fics when I was a minor, yada yada yada... And so often people grow up to be immensely embarrassed by what they enjoyed at 15 or 16, and I see a lot of that Shame Discourse around THROAM too, which, as its author, can make you think you just wrote a bad story that no one wants to admit they liked (although they all read it - it's complicated!). 

So, ten years on, it's great to hear that the story still compels you and that it has aged in a way that you still enjoy it. THROAM has had such a strange afterlife that I never could have predicted, both good and bad, and my own relationship with the work has grown increasingly complex over the years. You outgrow stories, as you rightly said, and you outgrow your own writing style, too, and become increasingly critical of your past efforts, alas - yet I still have an immense love for the story and its flaws, I can at a moment's notice see snow drifting down on a winter night in Bismarck or am blinded by California sun or taste the salt in the air on a beach in Maine like I never left. Fic will always be regarded as less than "real fiction" - throw in emo bands and sex and even more so. But what is wrong with fictional self-indulgence in a world that often gives you little? I haven't read THROAM cover to cover in years (it's SO LONG), partly out of worry what I'll find there of my self-perceived "bad writing", but I read snippets sometimes and there is still a pull to the story, for me, that I am relieved to find. 

I was around 25 when I finished the story - and thus the circle closes. It's hard for me now to fathom the years I spent on it, the sheer number of hours, days, weeks, months it took me to write. What was 23-25 year-old me doing! But she wrote it because she had the story and no other reason. Its afterlife and readership has completely surprised me, but I am glad I didn't know it when I was writing it or I'd never have managed to finish it! 

And so it warms me now, endlessly, that the story still has importance to you and that it has grown with you. It is especially lovely to hear when I myself have clearly detached myself from the story, somewhat - it really feels like the story doesn't belong to me anymore because it took on such a life of its own. So thank you for reminding me that I, too, should give the story more love than I do - and that not all that ages needs to be left behind. Much love <333

[technicallysideacc]

I was tagged by @theleavesoflorien and @stronghaz to do a couple of memes (Thank youuu <3333 I love doing these things!)

Song titles

Rules: only using song titles from one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and tag 10 people

Artist: Paul McCartney 

What’s your gender? Mrs. Vandebilt

How are you feeling? Hope for the future

If you could go anywhere? London Town

Favourite mode of transportation? I Don’t Know

Your best friend? My Valentine

Favourite time of day? Beautiful Night

If your life was a tv show? My Brave Face

Relationship status? No words (for my love)

50 questions you’ve never been asked

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush? grey and boring

2. A food you never eat? I never eat fish (which I should but... ) or seafood, I just hate the taste!

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? I tend to get cold easier (but I always bear it with more dignity than when I get too warm hahaha)

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? I was just finishing work while I drank some tea! I was correcting some Writing assignments from 6th graders, and then sending a couple audio messages to another teacher to properly coordinate. 

5. What is your favourite candy bar? “Kinder Bueno”❤️

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? Yeah, several times! When I was 12-13 I was really into football, so I went to lots of matches in the Camp Nou (the Barça stadium) both of Barça and the national team. I also attended to several rugby matches, even if I didn’t really like it, because my dad was a city council worker and all of them had free passes, for some reason... and it quickly became “our thing”. 

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? I said “but that’s awfuuul and I hate iiiit”, because the other teacher had just told me that we’re supposed to keep correcting assignments simply indicating the mistakes so that the kids can find the correct way of saying things themselves, and that this process can be repeated as many times as it takes for the kid to find the solution.

8. What is your favourite ice cream? Mint chocolate chip! 🌿😍

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? A cup of black tea with a dash of milk

10. Do you like your wallet? Yes! It’s a colourful one that my parents bought me for my birthday, a couple years ago!

11. What was the last thing you ate? It was a banana, as a desert! (I had lunch a couple hours ago)

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Hahaha not really! Since the quarantine situation happened, I haven’t been able to leave my home and all shops are closed, so...

13. The last sporting event you watched? Ugh, honestly, who knows?😂 It must’ve been a long time ago, but most likely a football match during the last World cup?

14. What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? Salted popcorn all the way! I worked in a popcorn stand back when I was 16, and it was the worst work experience of my life, I still get war-flashbacks! Since then I’ve hated sweet popcorn with a passion, it’s like my brain still remembers what a nightmare it was to clean the machine that made them 😂

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? It was another workmate - a teacher with whom I need to organise preschool activities.

16. Ever go camping? I’ve never done it, no!

17. Do you take vitamins? Not right now, but I usually have to take some to help strengthen my throat area, since I get lots of sore throats during the school year.

18. Do you go to church every sunday? Hahaha not really, no! I only do it for special occasions - weddings, comunions, all that!

19. Do you have a tan? I’m probably one of the less tanned people to ever live in Spain😂

20. Do you prefer chinese food or pizza? Both are GREAT, but if I really have to choose, I’d go with pizza

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? No, unless I’m at the cinema and I’ve got one of those plastic containers!

22. What colour socks do you usually wear? I like my socks colourful, and sometimes with cute patterns, so all colours, really!

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? I’ve never driven a car, so no!

24. What terrifies you? Almost everything, probably! A huge phobia to bees and wasps stands out, though!

25. Look to your left, what do you see? The empty cup of tea, a pen and a paper with some handwritten notes related to work.

26. What chore do you hate? Sweeping is the thing that I hate the most, it’s so boring and as soon as you’ve done it, everything is dirty again 😂

27. What do you think of when you hear an australian accent? Not a lot, really! I’m not that good at recognising Australian accents if I’m honest!

28. What’s your favourite soda? Coca-cola!

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? Since I don’t drive, I usually go and eat it in the fast food place. But I’m not big on fast food in general :)

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? That teacher I was sending the furious audio message to 😂

31. Favourite cut of beef? I don’t really have one!

32. Last song you listened to? Oh Love - Green Day 🥰🎸

33. Last book you read? It’s been a while since I read anything other than fics really hahaha

34. Favourite day of the week? Friday!

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Probably I could, if I focused on it enough!

36. How do you like your coffee? Half coffee, half milk, two spoons of sugar!

37. Favourite pair of shoes? A nice pair of ballet flats I bought some months ago. So cute and comfy at the same time!

38. At what time do you normally go to bed? In a normal routine, between 11 and 12. Right now, around 2 am.

39. At what time do you normally get up? In a normal routine, at 6. Right now, around 9 am.

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets!

41. How many blankets are on your bed? Only one. But I always put one of those hot water bottles to stay warm ❤️

42. Describe your kitchen plates? They’re a very nice shade of pastel green! We bought them when we moved to this flat 6 years ago!

43. Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? Gin&tonic all the way!!! But I also love white wine and baileys

44. Do you play cards? Not really!

45. What colour is your car? I don’t have a car haha (so many car-related questions!)

46. Can you change a tire? aksfhakfsjhkashf I’m sure I would NEVER be able to do that, for the life of me. Like, I wouldn’t even know how to start hahaha

47. What is your favourite state/province? Catalonia, of course ❤️

48. Favourite job you’ve ever had? Some years ago, I worked as an English teacher in an academy. It was a job that, in terms of personal development, was leading nowhere and I was also not being paid a lot, that’s why I eventually quit and went on to work at the school, which is my current one... but it was such a nice job. So fullfilling, with such nice work environment. I remember laughing SO MUCH every day! I still miss it, to this day❤️

49. How did you get your biggest scar? I was around 7-8 years old, and I was playing in the house with my sis. We were pretending to be frogs and jumping all around, and apparently at one point I jumped into a very pointy corner of one of those old computer tables (you know, the ones that have wheels so that you could move the computer from one room to the other), which caused a really big gash on the side of my upperbody. They stitched me, but it left a pretty big scar, unfortunatelly.

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? I tried to be kind and encouraging when answering to the kids who were sending me their assignments. I don’t know if that made them happy, but it definitely was my intention :)

I haven’t been able to keep track on who has already did these, so if anyone wants to do any of these memes, consider this your tag! 🥰

[homestuckexamination]

HSE - Patreon Essays

Been thinking about how I am going to be doing this, how to make it interesting, reaching beyond just the Homestuck Bubble... Sure, Patreon is mostly a tool to help support me while I keep writing, but I need to become more active and have a schedule to make it worth it to support me in the first place! So before I rush, anything, let me share the current ideas I had:

First of all, all of my writing will be out there for free, I’m not gonna put a paywall on that, not after I’ve been making these for free for over a year, duh! That being said, Patrons will have early access to the content as I write, as well as other perks, namely directing the kind of stuff I will be writing about next.

I also don’t want to stagnate in Homestuck- As much as I like the webcomic, and as much as there is to analyze about it, that’s not what I want this to be about. I’m more interested about the underlying message in Homestuck’s narrative, and what I have learned about storytelling and analysis in general through Homestuck- Analysis through its lenses, but not necessarily OF only Homestuck. Basically, how you can understand more about a work or about life through the use of another work, comparisons in models of hyperflexible mythology, Classpect Analysis of other characters, message and impact of other works, and the way Fandom and Society do stuff in general, as seen from this perspective. Also the way Homestuck has changed me and, in a more Meta way, the way writing those and analyzing stuff has changed my perception of things, maybe even some sort of guide or advice regarding analysis in general! It sounds kinda complex! But that’s fine.

To structure this chaos into something more palatable, I’ve decided to divide my writing in Tiers! Where a Tier 0 would be the stuff I’ll still answer on my blog- General trivia about the comic, quick thoughts on events, theories of one thing or another... Really, most of the content I answer from Asks.

Tier 1 essays wouldn’t be too long, but I cannot assure that because once I get going I can go for god damn hours. They’d be more focused on smaller analysis of character through their Classpect, potential of characters, theories and different ways of seeing certain events, talk about Fandom events and perhaps even the state of the world and the importance of certain things and themes in fiction. I’m thinking a majority of my content should be Tier 1 essays, more in-depth than the quick little thoughts I give on the blog, but no massive, sprawling stuff either that goes in-depth about every detail and minutia.

Tier 2 essays would be the big kickers I would begin pumping out more often if my Patreon works well. Think of my unfinished Masterpiece Analysis of Homestuck, but taking more time to redact my point and hopefully not making it a hundred-paragraph monstrosity that takes up your Tumblr feed. Analysis of other works through the lens of Homestuck, putting into words the depth I see in Homestuck’s systems, and more long-winded talks about the impact of the world on us and us on the world through fiction and fandom.

I’d be potentially making a Discord server for Patrons, too, allowing more direct communication and discussion on where to go and what stuff to cover next. If things go ideally, I should be able to keep a flow of Tier 0s, while making around 2-3 Tier 1 Essays and one Tier 2 Essay on a monthly basis,

So, ultimately, my idea for the Patron would be something like this:

-Free Content: Everything in my HSE blog will still keep getting posted and Tier 0 analysis will come as I get asks about stuff and answer them with my thoughts! All other Tiers of analysis will also eventually be released. Posted on Tumblr, making a Blog somewhere else, going to Medium, I may have to figure out a platform, but I’ll keep a repository of my analysis around.

-$1 Patrons: The basic support tier that’d grant access to the Discord when I get it up and running, as well as the ability to vote and influence the stuff I will be covering next, and gaining access to the finished essays before they’re posted publicly and freely.

-$2 Patrons: For those wanting to show more support, a friend invite to the Discord and access to the Drafts while I’m working on them.

-$5 Patrons: Anyone in this tier will be able to enter their name on a monthly roulette thingy, and the name chosen each month will get a sprite of an OC of their choosing in the traditional Homestuck style! Something like:

That’s what I’ve got for now, but other ideas for Tiers, rewards, Essay stuff and such would he heavily appreciated, specially given my ideas for the 2-dollar Patron Tier aren’t that great. It depends on what you guys want to see, and I want you all to be able to get in on the choices I make and the things I write! I also still need to at least prepare topics to choose from to start with and begin making essays before putting the Patreon up.

There’s a lot of work to be done, but this is more or less the base I’m working with internally, so please, give me your input and, again, stuff you would like to see me cover in the future! Also do take into account I’m not aware of every Fandom Phenomenon and every Work ever made, so if there’s a high interest in me covering a specific series, I will need time to actually go through the Series in the first place or need help learning enough about it to be able to write competently about it!

Yeah this is me kind of just throwing a whole bunch of stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks. Regardless of what direction I take this in, thank you all for 3333 Followers and so much support!

[thisgirlsays22]

You are Not Alone (Part 2)

Rating: E (for the overall story, not this chapter THANKS JEN)

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin

Pairing(s): Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein, Eren Yeager/ Levi

Chapter Word Count: 2k

Additional Tags: Post-canon, angst, smut More Tags On AO3

Summary:

Mikasa relishes in her newfound sense of freedom. Loneliness does not mean she is alone.

A prequel and sequel to Home and I Know (I Am the One in Love).

Written for the wonderful @dreamxxdream as a (belated) birthday gift. Nadine, Thank you for your patience while waiting for these other parts to be posted. You’ve kicked a lot of ass this week, so I wanted to get my ass in gear finally. To make it up to you, have this gorgeous JeanKasa art I commissioned from the incredible @lolakasa​ . 

And thank you to @fluffymusketeer for the beta <3333

Part 1: Read on Ao3 | Read on Tumblr:

Home and I Know: Read on Ao3 | Read on Tumblr

Read part 2 on Ao3 or under the cut.

Mikasa sipped her second cup of coffee in Hanji’s office. She had slept fitfully the night before, and it showed in her sluggish movements. The recruits didn’t need Mikasa half-assing it through drills.

“Rough night?” Hanji asked, trying to hide their smile.

“Not what you’re thinking.”

“That’s no fun.”

“You’re like a gossipy teenager,” Mikasa pointed out.  

“I thought you liked that about me.”

Mikasa sighed. “I really should end things with Jean.”

“What? Why?”

The coffee tasted too bitter. There hadn’t been enough sugar left in the jar. She sipped it anyway, avoiding the question. Though they'd never explicitly discussed it, Jean had been in her life for a long time, and she could see the kind of life he wanted unfolding out between them. But since the war had ended, since Eren had left, since Armin had become preoccupied with work, her life had shifted in ways she’d never expected.

For the first time, everything belonged to her. It was a different kind of freedom than the one Eren had imagined. Sweeter. And though she missed her friends, and at night she had to remind herself she was not alone, there was a purity to the loneliness, a strength.

If she let him, Jean would intertwine both their lives completely. He would absorb her into his world as he did with the parties sometimes. Optional would become obligation. She would have to move into his house, closer to the palace. She would have to attend endless events. He'd probably wanted to get married soon, fill his home with children.

Mikasa longed for Jean all the time. But he deserved to be with someone who could share their life with him completely, and she wasn’t sure if she could. Not yet.

“Mikasa?” Hanji stretched out a leg and nudged Mikasa with their foot. “You in there?”

“I just can’t,” she said finally.

“It’s funny the things that stay with you,” Hanji mused.

“What?” Mikasa squinted, not following the line of thought.

“During the war, I remember that Jean was always looking out for where you were. You were looking out for Eren, and Jean was looking out for you.”

Her heart ached at that. It had been years, so much had changed, and yet...had things really changed at all?

“Hanji,” she began. “Are you happy as Commander?”

Hanji answered without hesitation. “Not particularly.”

“Why don’t you step down?” Mikasa asked. “You talked about leading the research division full time before. Things are different now; you don’t need to stay in a role you never wanted.”

“I know it’s different. But it’s naive to think that we could never go to war again. Peace is fragile, Mikasa. I couldn’t let Erwin down like that. You know, I used to think Jean would be the perfect successor, that I’d hand over the reigns to him and never look back, but I think he’s content with his role.”

“Armin?”

“Already turned me down. I think he wants to stay close to Historia.” Hanji raised their eyebrows.

“Gossipy teenager.” Mikasa sighed. “There must be someone else.” She wanted Hanji to be free.

“I have a few others in mind. We’ll see.”

“I hope it happens for you sooner rather than later,” Mikasa said. Hanji had become a good friend over the years, she wanted them to be happy.

Hanji smiled and then said, “So, Eren and Levi, huh?”  

Mikasa’s eyes shot to Hanji. “What?”

“Levi came to see me before he went chasing after Eren. I don’t know what you said to him, but he looked like a man on a mission.”

“I’m going now,” Mikasa said, standing.

“Oh, come on! When do you think they’ll be back?”

“I’m leaving.”

“You Ackermans are never any fun.”

“You know, Levi warned me about you before he left.” She put the empty coffee mug on Hanji’s desk and headed for the door. “Gossip.”

Hanji’s laughter followed Mikasa down the hall.

Eren and Levi returned a few days later. At the smile Eren gave her, Mikasa nearly burst into tears. He kept giving Levi those dopey looks that brought her back to when they were fifteen. All she had ever wanted was for Eren to be okay, and here he was, better than she’d ever seen him before.

“Good, you’re here just in time to come to the fundraiser with us,” she said, over dinner on their second night back.

They sat around Jean’s table in his grand dining room, the full-length windows overlooking the garden. Jean had even put out the nice china. Mikasa was secretly pleased he’d done so for Eren and that he’d extended the invitation in the first place. His spacious townhouse was better for dinner parties than Mikasa’s modest home. Besides, she hated hosting.  

“You’ll be the talk of the town,” Jean added.

“Not a chance in hell,” Levi said, calmly taking a sip of wine. It felt too pretentious to admit, but she really did like when Jean brought out a fancy bottle for dinner.

“No? Oh, Levi, won’t you dance with me?” Eren mock pleaded, casting a sly look at Levi.

“Don’t be a shithead.”

“Is this what counts as foreplay for you two?” Jean asked.

“Shut up, Jean.”

“You shut up, Eren. You’re the one flirting with your...with Levi at dinner.”

“We weren’t flirting! And besides, you’re the one trying to impress Mikasa with all this fancy shit.” He waved his hand over the serving platters, piled high with chicken, roasted vegetables and bread. “Is that your idea of foreplay?”  

They glared at one another over the table.

“Aren’t you going to punch one of them?” Mikasa asked Levi.

“Not yet,” Levi replied mildly, reaching for another roll and the butter. “Mind the candles if you start throwing punches. Last thing we need’s a fucking fire.”

Simultaneously, Jean and Eren both leaned back in their seats, still huffing.

Jean took another sip of wine then asked, “So does this mean you’re moving back to Paradis, Levi?”

Eren and Levi exchanged looks.

“What?” Mikasa prompted, trying to keep her tone neutral.

Levi sighed. “I’m leaving the Corps.”

“What?” Jean and Mikasa chorused.

“We’re going to travel,” Eren said by way of explanation. “It’s probably safe for me to return to Marley, but...there’s more of the world I--we--want to see.”

Mikasa glared at Levi. He was supposed to bring Eren back, not take him farther away.  

“Who knows how long he was going to stay out in the woods for,” Levi said. “What’s the difference?”

“I could still go see him!”

“I’m right here,” Eren said. “And you loved my letters. I’ll write to you all the time. I’ll send you postcards!”

What a fucking asshole! You loved my letters. She waved a hand. “Fine. Do what you like.”  

“Just because you want to stay here, doesn’t mean I do,” Eren continued, as though he hadn’t heard her.

Suddenly, she felt the absence of her scarf around her neck. She longed to tuck her chin in its protective embrace. Longed for something familiar, comforting. Jean rested a hand on her arm, and she felt some of the tension leave her shoulders.

Everyone was staring at her with apprehension. It was Levi’s disappointed look that hurt, though. She’d never seen it directed at her before.

“Let’s just talk about this tomorrow,” she said, looking down at her plate.

Eren deflated, slumping back in his chair. “Yeah, okay.”

They finished the meal, Jean gamely trying to steer the conversation to more pleasant territory, and Levi went along with it. Mikasa and Eren avoided each other’s looks, politely addressing one another only if the conversation truly called for it.

After dinner, Levi and Eren excused themselves to return to the inn where they were staying. Mikasa watched from the front window as they walked down the winding path away from Jean’s house, Eren intertwining his hand in Levi’s.

She moped for the rest of night, tucking herself away in Jean’s study where she scribbled madly in her notebook. It was one of her favorite places to write. He kept everything neat, and he always had her favorite incense on hand--an earthy, warm sandalwood. “Use the room whenever you like,” he’d offered.  

The words bled from the pen, ugly and raw. Nothing she wrote sounded right. Distracting thoughts filled her mind: Eren and his stupid letters. No, postcards!

“Hey,” Jean said from the doorway, after she’d been at it for about an hour.

She looked up from her notebook. “Hey.”

“You’re really that upset about Eren? I thought you were kind of used to him not being around. Maybe even enjoying yourself,” Jean said, frowning.  

“I want him to be happy. I just...thought he’d come back to stay here. With Levi.”

“Really?” Jean asked. “That was your big play?”

“Yes. I thought Levi would come back for Eren. I never thought they’d just up and leave us all.”

“Some people are our blind spots,” Jean said, a little sadly. “Eren never seemed happy here, Mikasa. And of course he wasn’t going to just go settle down in Marley forever either.”

She felt like she was being pulled apart in all directions. It wasn’t even clear to her why she was so sad. Her life had been good lately, hadn’t it? Even without Eren around every day.

Abruptly, she asked, “Jean, when did you realise you wanted me?” Because it was easier than asking what do you really want?

He gave the question some thought and came to sit down besides Mikasa on the ottoman. “I thought you were beautiful right away, but it was seeing you just being yourself, with Sasha, that made me really like you.”

“With Sasha?”

“Yeah, I realised you had this secret funny side to you. You were always so serious about training, or looking out for Eren and Armin. It wasn’t what I expected.”

“And is that why you looked out for me?” she asked.

“What? No. It just seemed like you needed someone in your corner. I usually agreed with you anyway...except about Eren sometimes.”

She snorted. “Except about Eren most of the time.”

"Yeah." A smile broke out on his face. “Also, that time in the hot springs.”

“What?”

“Mikasa, I don’t think you know what towel slippage does to a teenage boy.”

Mikasa groaned and covered her face. “Sasha was right about you.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

She stretched her fingers and peered out at him with one eye. “Pervert.”

Jean gave her an indigent look. “I was seventeen! And when the towel of the most gorgeous girl you’ve ever seen slips, it’s the kind of thing that stays in your head forever.”

“Forever? You see me naked all the time.” Her cheeks flushed. Jean was being a moron.

“True.” Jean smiled. “But that was...unexpected.”

She leaned into him then, head resting on his chest so her ear was pressed over his heart. There were moments like these when she thought, I should be with you every minute of every day. A fear she couldn’t put words to always followed this thought, manifesting as a tightness in her chest. What if she changed her mind, wanted to be alone again, and hurt him?

“Thanks for looking out for me. Even when you shouldn’t have,” she said.

“Well, Mikasa. I suppose not much has changed.”

When she looked up, he smiled down at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“How do you mean?”

He shook his head. “Nothing.” Jean unwrapped his arms from around her and stood. “I’m busy for the rest of the week, but I’ll see you for the fundraiser.”

“Have fun with your...other friend,” she said, too lightly.

“Thanks, I will.”

The words, probably meant as a joke, came out meaner and sharper than Jean intended, judging by the stricken look on his face.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “That came out wrong.”

“It’s fine.” Mikasa stood. “I should get going. I have an early morning.”  

Before she left his house, he pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek.

[luxeaus]

NCT Winwin AU

a/n: hello everyone this is my first time writing something like this so please bear with me lmao  ,,, also uhh if u have a request feel free to do so!! i'll write for seventeen, astro, nct, and the boyz only! i thought of this concept last year and only now did i decide to write it hehe basically sicheng wanted to get his mom something special for mothers day (i know im a day late shush) and thats when he met you :) i hope u like it!!! ~~~ • it was early in the afternoon • youve been working for a couple of hours now since the flower shop your aunt owned opened •it was mother's day, so you were expecting a lot of people • the store was busy, buzzing with people from around your neighborhood buying flowers for their moms, grandmas, and whoever else • youre busy with so many people asking for advice on what to get and making bouquets • a few more hours pass by and the store had less people inside • it was only you, your aunt, a couple, and a girl who looked around your age • as you ring up the couple and waved a quick good bye, you finally had the time to settle down on your little chair behind the counter and relax • just as you closed your eyes for hopefully, a quick nap, you hear the door ringand in came a guy • he was tall, skinny, and cute even • this is winwin btw ISBSISHSB • anyway • you kind of picked up the habit of scouting for cute boys who bought flowers at your store • but every cute boy you saw so far, is no one compared to this one who came in, with a big grey sweatshirt and skinny black ripped jeans • he looked sweet and lost. like a small puppy in a big town • you came back to your senses when your aunt tapped you on the shoulder and told you to ask what the new customer needed, since she was busy with the other one • you nod, and rush to the tall boy • "good afternoon, sir. how can i be of assistance?" • you recite for what seemed to be the hundredth time today • "o-oh hello. i ummm. im looking for flowers?" • you chuckle a bit. "i bet you are," you reply. • at this point sicheng is slapping himself a million times in the head • of course you are you dumbass why else would you walk in a flower shop?? • he looks at you, smiling at him and his dumb dumb statement • he blushes, both from embarrassment and also,, cos wow ur cute :(( • "hehe i- yeah i am. but i dont know what to get..." he stammers as he scratches the back of his neck • you quickly turn on Serious Work Mode and suggest a few • "is it for your mom? are you giving her flowers for mother's day?" you ask while pointing out a few carnations that can look good in a potential bouquet • "these are carnations, i bet theyll look pretty along with the roses you picked," you suggest • "o-ok but i want it to be like.. super cool and big" • "oh! i actually have a few pre-made bouquets if you want to see them? i made them specifically for today so we can save time since its busy this time of the year" you suggest • two things are going thru sichengs head • 1) why is this girl/boy so cute 2) i really need to impress my mom... and this person • "sure i think that would be better :) hehe" he replied • SICHENG DID U JUST SAY HEHE OUT LOUD YOU DUMMY • you walk over to the rows of bouquets you made the night before • "i only have a few left since a lot of people bought them..." you explain • "these look super good... " • you made the bouquets massive with a lot of different flowers and put little greeting cards on the paper wrap • "see anything you like? no one has actually bought my favorite yet..." • "everything looks super amazing. which one is your favorite?" the boy asked, touching the flowers gently • "this one" • you point to a bouquet with sunflowers, roses, carnations and a couple of tulips, with baby's breath scattered along to fill the empty spaces • "y-you made this?" he said taking the bouquet • "this looks perfect! im sure my mom would love this!!!" • "yeah i did! thank you im sure she will!!" • "i'll take it :)" • "ok let me ring you up :)" • as you were doing finishing touches to the bouquet, you start going off a tangent on how you made it • "so you know carnations are supposed to symbolize good luck and pure love right thats why i chose this and back then even the way you wrap the bouquet and the strings used can mean a lot so if you tie it a certain way, theres a message behind it. this one i tied so it means you have nothing but love and adoration to that person..." • he just looks at you in awe because • oh my god.. how can someone look so frickin cute and lovely and bright.. he thought you bloomed the most beautiful out of all the flowers in the room • when you noticed he was staring, you cough and apologize • "sorry i didnt mean to ramble. i just really enjoy making bouquets hehe" • "n-no its fine i think its really.. cute :>" • "oh!! well uh.." • you scramble to finish quickly because omg did he just call you cute ??? What the heck • "wait so what do you want written on the greeting card? we can print it out and stuff ... " you ask him • "yes um... happy mother's day! love, sicheng" • SICHENG <3333 • the name sticks to you and you didnt notice but you were smiling as you printed the card • "what about you?" the boy, sicheng, asked suddenly • "what about me?" • "whats your name?" • "oh. its y/n" • "pretty~" • "what?" • "nothing!!! Here," • he hands out his payment • "keep the change, y/n!!" • "no thats really ok you dont have to-" • "oh please take it! You made the perfect bouquet for my mom and gave me a free lesson on flowers hehe its the least i can do! plus maybe you know.." • he takes a deep breath • "maybewecangoonadatesometime?" • "what.. with me??" you ask • "yeah.. i mean if you want.." • "ok. sure. id love that actually..." • ISUSUEIEUW CUTE • you hand sicheng his bouquet and a small piece of paper with your number • "text me" you tell him. WOW YOURE BOLD! • "dont worry i will! thank you y/n :]" • cant believe he just :] • as you waved good bye to sicheng you look at your aunt and she shakes her head • "young love!!!"

[sunnysidewrites]

Vigilante Partner in Crime!Wonwoo Pt 2

LOOK WHO’S BACK WITH PART 2!! I WANNA THANK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WHO GAVE ME WONDERFUL FEEDBACK THE DAY I POSTED PART 1!!! Can you guys believe that was only my 2nd piece I posted on here?? And now look at how much has happened since then! IT’S BEEN OVER A MONTH!!! Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to write this!!! Writing this was a real struggle,,, my writer’s block for 3 weeks suddenly all disappeared TODAY and I couldn’t be happier!! Also,,, look out for that last bullet point ;)))  GET READY FOR A WILD RIDE AGAIN!!!! I MADE THIS TOO LONG LSJDFLJF I CAN’T CONTAIN MY FEELS FOR WONWOO HAPPY READING MY CHILDREN!! <3333 For a refresher, I recommend you reading Part 1 before continuing!

Part 1 | Part 2

“Hello?” a customer waved their hand in front of your face

Your hazy eyes focused back for the tenth time that same hour

“S-sorry, miss,” you stammered as you resumed scanning her items

Once she left, you sighed and shook your head for who knows how many times that week

Get it together, Y/N, you mentally scolded yourself and lightly smacked your cheeks

It already had been a week since that night

“Can’t we just,,, keep it between us?” his words still rang in your ears, a constant mantra that continues to linger in your thoughts

“Ugh, nO!!!”

“Okay, okay! It’s fine if you don’t wanna,,,, i can just do it myself,,,”

You turned around to meet a bewildered Wonwoo, his eyes slightly bugged out and his hands raised in defense

“O-oh,,, Wonwoo,,,, i’m sorry what did you say?”

“I just asked you if you wanted to restock with me,,,,,,,”

Your expression had “mental facepalm” written all over it

You quickly muttered an excuse to stay at the cashier and he seemed to get the hint

All week you’ve been making it a lil too obvious you were on the edge and if wonwoo had caught on, he sure didn’t say anything about it

You trudge back home where your grandma greets you granny makes a comeback!!!

“Welcome home y/n!!!” she excitedly hugs you

You return it and walk to the kitchen to grab a snack and a drink

You start talking about your day but you start noticing that your grandma is just,,, a little,,, too excited,,,,

“Ok grandma what’s got you bouncing on your toes”

“What,,, i’m perfectly fine,,,,”

“Right,,,, like you didn’t just jump 10 feet in the air,,,,”

“,,,,,u right”

You put down your glass of water on the counter and face your body towards her

She exhales a small breath before taking another in

“You’re bonnie aren’t you?”

Your heartbeat spikes up and you’re like oH MYGOSDJFJOFD

“What that’s ridiculous! I’m too busy studying--”

“No need to cover it up. I saw your attire stuffed in the back of your closet when i was trying to help clean it”

Your guarded expression immediately lets down and all she can see is pure anxiety on your face

“Omg grandma plS DONT TELL MOM AND DAD I SWEAR IF U WANT ME TO STOP I WILL--”

“I support it”

You:

Grandma:

You:

Grandma:

You: what

“Look y/n,,,, i haven’t told you everything about what i did”

“,,,,what do you mean? Didn’t you say you were a detective?”

“Yes,,, i was,,,, but i was also just like you having that little ‘side job’”

You’re just like ????? what the????

“Ever heard of Shadowcat hun?”

And you’re like O M G IT CANT BE

“wHAT NO WAY THE LEGENDARY VIGILANTE WHO PUT THE ENTIRE LAW ENFORCEMENT OUT OF BUSINESS FOR DECADES BC SHE WAS JUST THAT GOOD????”

She clicks her tongue, “in the flesh”

You’re still freaking out when her expression suddenly darkens

“And you’ve heard of Geney?”

“,,,,that scary mutation bad guy???” LMAO DO U GUYS GET THE PUN

“Correction. Bad woman. And she wasn’t always evil you know,” your grandma says with a hint of melancholy in her eyes

You decide that it’s a story for another time and make a mental note to ask her later as her eyes refocus back to you

“Anyways, she’s never quite up to any good. I hear there’s a bunch of delinquents from her family in your generation and they might cause you trouble,,,,”

“Grandma relax!! I got this in the bag!! And i have clyde!!! We’re unstoppable!! We are Bonnie and Clyde for a reason. We’ll figure out how to do it” You reassuringly pat her shoulder

“Hun i had that same mindset as you and things happened. Life happened. And it may happen to you as well”

“Seriously, grandma, we’re able to get through anything together,” you smiled and gave her one last pat on the shoulder before you left

The following night you were on another mission of yours, you scoping out the area as Wonwoo adjusted the subtle tool belt on each of your waists

“Okay, he just entered the building; we’re all clear--” you turn back to report your observations when,,,

Wonwoo’s face is just a little too close to yours

He was busy taking care of your supplies that he had bent down in concentration

You freeze, your breath hitching

He was still focused on your supplies and then smiled and looked up, “Great!”

He finally noticed the proximity and jerked his hands away from your belt

He quickly took a step back and covered the bottom half of his face with the back of his hand

“U-uh,,,, sorry,,,, I was just replenishing your things,,,,” he stammered, running his fingers through his hair

“It’s fine,,,” you reply, the both of you avoiding eye contact

You shake your head and continue to give him your report

You can’t help but notice the churning in your stomach

As of late, your stomach had been acting funny every time you were on these missions

But ofc you just brushed them off

“Lmao i probably just ate something bad”

,,,,,sigh

Weeks pass by and you still get the uncomfortable nauseous feeling

“Are you feeling okay? You’re a little pale” wonwoo peeks at your face

“I’m fine! I’m fine,” you stop him before getting too close to you (since he’s the reason why lmAO)

You just take deep breaths in and try to put all your energy in the mission

He tries to ease your uneasiness by squeezing both of your shoulders

“We’re in this together. Partners in crime, right?”

You nod your head

“Partners in crime. Always.”

He gives you a quick kiss on the head, a gesture that you have gotten used to after this time

But for some reason, it felt,,,, different and gave you a fuzzy feeling

You confirm both of your roles and split up once you head inside the building of the crime scene

Fifteen minutes in and you find one of the minions (no not those minions lmao)

He tries escaping but you easily tackle him down

With his arms wrenched around his back, you whisper in his ear

“Mind telling me who the puppeteer of this freak show is?”

“Please believe me I don’t know anything!! OW!!”

“I don’t think you understand the position you’re in right now, mister. Now. I’ll say it again. Who’s the mastermind behind this?”

“Look. Just hear me out,,,, I’m on your side and am just as confused as you are,,,,,”

You tighten your grip on him, his howling filling the empty room

“i’m still waiting”

“OW!! I honestly don’t know,,,, but my best guess is Geney,,,,”

you release him and press your stun gun on him

Well,,, i mean you weren’t actually gonna kill him and plus this man didn’t even put up a fight lmao

You drag him into a storage room and lock him up there

You’re on your way to scope out more of the minions and check up on Wonwoo

You see a bright light shining in one of the rooms and cautiously approach it

You peek your head from the side of the door to check if anyone is already inside

You find a hiding spot and settle around it when all of a someone someone grabs your arm

You’re in automatic defense mode when you just see Wonwoo and sigh a breath of relief

“Jesus christ, wonwoo you scared me!” you whispered sharply

“Sorry,,,, i was just in the middle of searching for you. Is this the room?”

You nodded and turned your attention back to the brilliant lights

“Well,,, they sure made it obvious with all of these lights in the middle of the room”

He hushes you, his still hand on your arm

“I think they’re coming”

You nod silently and get in a position, ready to pounce at any time

“Guys! It’s in here!” A foreign voice shouted

You waited for them to start filing in and you and wonwoo exchange a look

You silently mouth one, two, three

And next thing you know you hear gunshots and punches being thrown

You’re in the middle of fighting a man and he keeps sneering at you

“You think you’re such a hotshot, playing the good guy here?”

“Not my fault you guys always lose. I guess you got that in your bloodline”

He glares at you before smirking, “well i don’t think i have to worry about that at least for tonight”

“What?”

You’re only caught off guard for a fraction of a second when someone holds you back, locking your arms

“Let!! Me!! Go!!” you struggle to get out of the lock but your capturer won’t budge

“No can do sweetie”

You immediately stop, your blood running cold

You,,,, you can’t believe,,,,,

The voice that you were so accustomed to for all of these years

The same voice that makes those stupid flirty jokes but you allow him to anyway bc he’s just him

The voice that promised to be partners in crime

The voice that you trusted

Suddenly you wanna vomit at the touch of his hands

“C-c-clyde???”

You can hear his smirk from behind you

“Ah,,, well I didn’t want it to come to this bonnie but,,,, well i had to follow my grandma’s orders. She’s just kinda the boss around here”

Grandma???

Oh 

oH

OH

Oh no

“You’re,,,,,,, you’re related to Geney????”

“Yes, and as much as I would love to chit chat, we have something to take” he looks at the minions and gestures to the artifact

“Why,,,, why would you do this?”

“Don’t take it too personally, bonnie. Our time here is up. You were a great partner while it lasted.”

He manhandles you to a bunch of his minions

“Oh and don’t even try attacking them. Be grateful i didn’t end you on the spot,” he winks and nonchalantly stuffs his hands in his pockets

He looks at the minions but returned his stare to you

“Do whatever you want to her,” he coldly states and stalks out

They drag you to the back of the building, ready to finish you off when you were able to knock all of them out

You stare at their bodies on the ground, your chest heaving gradually faster

You wanted to cry

You wanted to scream

You wanted to hit him

You wanted to hug your grandma

But you were only paralyzed

Just one more time, you scope the area

But instead of doing it for wonwoo

You did it bc of wonwoo

:’((((

Wonwoo was still in the building strolling down the halls when he heard muffled shouts behind the storage door

He clucks his tongue in disapproval and kicks it down

“You’re still here?” he looks down at him in disdain

“What did you do to her?” he fumed, his eyes set ablaze

He laughs coolly, his head turned to the side before facing the pitiful look on the minion

“Guess she fell for it after all, huh?” he smirks a little too widely

He got out his right hand and casually threw out something on his lap

“She dropped this when I kicked her out”

Wonwoo suddenly reverted back to his form

“Sorry I had to use your little girlfriend, but I have to show the world Geney isn’t done just quite yet,” she threw a wink

“Oh, I guess I should turn you back into your original self since,,, well she doesn’t wanna do anything with you anymore,” she laughed shrilly before transforming him back and slamming the building door shut

He numbly looks down on his lap and bites his lip from shouting

The shiny golden band only stared back at him, the same words he told you before “betraying” you mockingly printed on it in small black script

Partners in crime, right?

Partners in crime. Always.

Ok lmao also i hella struggled writing part 2 but i did leave it at on open end,,,, so,,,, will i make a part 3??? Who knows???? ;)))) I DIDN’T EXPECT THIS TO LAST LONGER THAN 1 PART SLFJDLS but maybe i’ll do it if its highly requested!!! :))))

[scifiphan]

92 Things About Me

tysm @sleepwalkerphan  for tagging me in this! it’s 2am and I’m procrastinating the heck out of writing so this is perfect lmao.

also I’ll put most of the things below the cut so keep reading if ya wanna know 92 fun facts about me

edit: this took me almost an hour to do and towards the end, I basically confess my entire life so have fun reading that lmao. like i seriously have a realisation about how idk what i’m doing with my life hahahaha

THE LAST..

1. Drink : Water #stayhydrated 2. Phone call : mum 3. Text Message : a gif of phil being scared in bed (even my irl friends are trash) 4. Song You Listened To : currently listening to Taro - alt-J 5. Time You Cried : On sunday I cried over a renovation reality tv show (??? yeah idk either, bro) the apartments just looked so nice and the team I liked got kicked off the show.

HAVE YOU EVER..

6. Dated Someone Twice : nope 7. Been Cheated On : nope 8. Kissed Someone And Regretted It : YES (smh @ me) 9. Lost Someone Special : thankfully no 10. Been Depressed : i honestly don’t know. i think I have but am so freaking stubborn at admitting I have had depressive episodes in the past 11. Got Drunk And Thrown Up : YES OH MY GOODNESS I HAVE HAD SO MANY BAD TIMES. DON’T DRINK WINE AND THEN A MILKSHAKE AND THEN DANCE ON A BEACH. YOU WILL ONLY END UP THROWING UP IN A GARBAGE BIN OUTSIDE A KEBAB STORE (it wasn’t even after midnight, that’s the most embarrassing thing) 

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS :

12. Green 13. Pink 14. Turquoise

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU..

15. Made New Friends : yes!! so many new and amazing friends 16. Fallen Out Of Love : nope. 17. Laughed Until You Cried : laughing until I cry is me every time 18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You : yes (you would think that adults would stop teen behaviours lol) 19. Met Someone Who Changed You : yes, the last year included so much change. 20. Found Out Who Your True Friends Are : Yes. Just gonna put it out there: traveling for an extensive period of time overseas really shows who your true friends are and who are the snakes. 21. Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List : hahahaha yes (too mant rip) 22.How Many Of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know In Real Life :  probably almost all of them (so like 550) only a few on there are my internet friends 23. Do You Have Any Pets : nope and I probs wont get another pet for a long long time 24. Do You Want To Change Your Name : NO!!!!!!! Teddii is a blessing although I would change my last name (it’s two surnames joined together and it makes life difficult because it’s so long) 25. What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday : went out for dinner at a mexican place, won a few dollars on the pokies and then went out clubbing (also i got a fine rip me) 26. What Time Did You Wake Up This Morning: 11am OOPS (i slept in and missed uni) 27. What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night : probably making a gif 28. Name Something You Cannot Wait For : FINISHING UNI AND MOVING TO THE UK (hopefully to do my masters in global terrorism at the uni of london but if not i really wanna get a 1 year working visa and just do some hospitality work before I start a career) 29. When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mother : like 4 hours ago when we were watching tv 30. What Is One Thing You Could Change About Your Life : I wish I had a UK passport, it would make life a lot easier for me if I had dual citizenship instead of a boring Australian passport 31. What Are You Listening To Right Now : alt-J, a live performance of Taro  32. Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom : I know so many Tom’s it’s ridiculous 33. Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves : PEOPLE!!! WHO!! THINK!! THAT!! IF YOUR DEGREE!! ISN’T STEM!! THEN IT ISN’T!! HARD!!!! (i’m looking @ every friend who does a stem degree and always laughs at how my degree must be so easy because it doesn’t include math)

34. Most Visited Websites : tumblr, youtube, my uni’s website, facebook 35. Elementary : v great time, got bullied heaps but still had fun 36. High School : problematic fave. honestly my time at high school can fill a 500 page essay. being right next to a beach and river was actually gr8, the endless issues weren’t so good. 37. College/University : it has been a wild ride. I swapped degrees so I still have around 2 years left but uni has been my fave so far 38. Hair Colour : PINK!!!! (naturally ginger) 39. Long or Short Hair : long 40. Do You Have A Crush On Someone : nope (which is a shocker) 41. What Do You Like About Yourself : I like my individuality and independance 42. Piercings : 2x lobes, 1x helix, 1x nose. (i’m thinkng about getting my conch in a few weeks) 43. Blood Type : O+ 44. Nickname : ted, teddii bear, sideshow bob, cotton candy 45. Relationship Status : hella single 46. Zodiac Sign : Cancer (aka my birthday is soon hell yeah) 47. Pronouns : she/her. 48. Favourite Tv Show : STAR TREK: VOYAGER WILL ALWAYS BE MY FAVOURITE 49. Tattoos : crescent moon on my right wrist (i sorta don’t like how it turned out but after a year I have grown to appreciate the meaning) 50. Right Or Left Hand : Left handed (aka another reason why Dan is my spirit animal)

FIRST..

51. Surgery : i got a bunch of teeth removed when I was like 4/5  52. Word : baba or ma  53. Sport : soccer  54. Vacation : i actually can’t remember my first vacation. probs Sydney tbh idk I went a lot of places when I was young 55. Pair Of Trainers : probably something Adidas tbh

WHAT ARE YOU..

56. Eating : nothing 57. Drinking : water 58. Reading : nothing at the moment besides uni textbooks 59. I’m About To : I should say sleep but I’ll probably just watch youtube 60. Listening To : Breezeblocks by alt-J (can you see a recurring theme with my music questions?) 61. Waiting For : GoT SEASON 7 AKA MY BIRTHDAY (honestly feel so blessed to grow older and watch new GoT on the same day) 62. Craving For : MONEYYYYYYY. ya girl is unemployed thanks to the bad habit of planning last minute overseas holidays 63. Do you wanna get married : eventually but at the same time it doesn’t worry me 64. Going To Do When You Get Older : ????? ?????? ????? you would think I would have an idea but tbh idk. I’m studying International Relations and I want to do a postgrad in global terrorism. But career wise I have no bloody idea. I would like to work in the UN or UNESCO or for the Australian Government in an embassy. but at the same time I also want to be a travel photographer and just ignore my degree (idk adult life is hard)

YOUR TYPE..

65. Hugs or Kisses : HUGS 66. Lips or Eyes : eyes! <3333 67. Short or Tall : tall guys!!! but short girls are my weakness!! 68. Young or Old : HA haHA HA old 69. Nice Arms Or Nice Stomach : slight preference for nice arms because tummys are cute no matter what 70. Sensitive or Loud : I am both of those things so, por que no las dos? 71. Hook Up or Relationship : relationship (although I can’t relate because i am eternally single) 72. Troublemaker or Hesitant : I prefer when people are upfront instead of hiding stuff from me so I guess that means troublemaker?

HAVE YOU EVER..

73. Kissed A Stranger : yes 74. Drank Hard Liquor : yes (love me some vodka) 75. Lost Eye glasses or contact lenses : not yet thankfully 76. Turned Someone Down : YES! (there is nothing wrong with turning people down.) 77. Sex On First Date : no 78. Broken Someone’s Heart : yes and I still feel bad 79. Had Your Heart Broken : yep 80. Been Arrested : yes (kind of, long story) 81. Cried When Someone Died : yes. although I tend to go more numb instead of crying. idk it’s weird because I cry about everything but death kinda makes me become numb 82. Fallen For A Friend : yes (oops)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN..

83. In Yourself : yes although I need to believe in myself a lot more 84. Miracles : yes 85. Love At First Sight : yes and no. I believe it exists but I feel like a lot of people believe that they are experiencing love at first sight when in reality it is infatuation/lust. 86. Santa Claus : this question conflicts me because the logical side of me says no but the optimistic child side of me refuses to accept the truth 87. Kiss On The First Date : yeah 88. Angels : nah, not for me

OTHER..

89. Current best friend’s name : do i have a best friend? not really. again, it’s a weird time for me when it comes to friends. 90. Eye Colour : um blue with green and grey mixed in (it’s so hard to describe but yeah, those three) 91. Favourite singer/Band : Ed Sheeran, Mumford & Sons, al-J (i love them all a lot.) 92. Favourite Movie : Avatar. yes the blue alien one. It’s lame but I fell in love with the na’vi culture and it kinda helped get me obsessed with scifi.

And that’s a wrap!

If anyone actually read all that I hope you enjoyed my (very) late night confessions. Idk who to tag so if you see this and want to do it feel free to do so! Also, come hit up my inbox/messages if you wanna be my friend after reading this, I wanna make some friends on this hellsite

[edmtranslations]

LOUD No. 168 - Justice Interview [Documentation]

i h AT E

I wish I could say that this interview was manageable in most extents, but that’d be lying. LOUD 168 is one of my absolute favourite interviews, and maybe that played a part in it, but it was also an absolute pain to get right. Nothing in it was simple, not the interview, not the ad translation, not trying to pry apart illegible kanji... it was worth it, but believe me when I say that I was working for days on this, and that I needed all of that time to make this translation the best that I possibly could.

Well tell a lie. I was working on the translation a long time ago. I was just really lazy and didn’t get to it properly until recently, is all. 

[ Article source: (x) ]

Unfortunately, that is because I am not that good at Japanese.

I can link the above image without pixelation because 1) the article is freely online and 2) the parts relevant to the translation I’m talking about are not in that image. I don’t distribute scans or document versions of the original language text on this blog as a rule, and try to blur out as much as I can/reveal as little as possible, but: chances are, a lot of you already have seen the LOUD 168 scans a long time ago. (I did not work with those precise scanned images when it came to cleanup + translation, because those aren’t big enough to create legible PDFs - but attribution is attribution.)

But yes. Anyway, a lot of disclaiming aside, I’m not that good at Japanese. A huge hurdle in any hanzi-based language that I know is the fact that if I can’t read it, I can’t translate it - my Japanese simply isn’t good enough to figure things out from context unless I sit there with dictionary in hand, going through each kanji bit by bit. It’s very exhausting, and unfortunately this interview was chock full of those moments. A big part of why it took me so long to write out this translation and edit it was because, when I was working with only the above scans (because I had the illusion that I could just skim-read and jot down my notes, or something), I could flat out not read half of it.

That’s not pixelation. I just zoomed in on the A Cross the Universe ad from the above post and tried to make out the kanji. I face this problem all the time. What the hell is it? I don’t know, just looking at that image. I’m not good enough to figure things like that out by looking at small or scribbled text. Until I had the idea to start looking in archives and old ad copies of this film - because it did not appear to be a magazine-specific ad, the one given in LOUD 168 - I had no idea what to make of most of that text, and thus gave up.

(I finally found the online version, linked up there. HMV ad. Of course. The kanji is 撮影.)

What I’m trying to say is that a lot of mental gymnastics needed to be done simply to make this translation legible and accurate. I don’t get the choice to walk away from a kanji I don’t know, and I rightly shouldn’t; even if I have to search by radicals and scour every bit of joyo kanji for a likely fit, I need to find it and gather the correct meaning through any means possible. I claim days of work on this interview, and I must clarify that I’m counting this by the hours - I really must have spent 48+ pure hours working on this interview, a good chunk of which was devoted to pure comprehension. 

It wasn’t all doom and gloom, though. I was able to have some fun with the text while I was translating - they don’t actually mention A Cross the Universe by title all that much in this interview, at least not as much as I’ve mentioned it within square brackets in my translation. I attempted to make up to this by having a couple of relevant quotes reference back to the title.

The better translation is ‘... roaming the world’. I just couldn’t miss the opportunity, that was all.

Eheheheheheheh

That’s actually in the text, too. That’s not just me being silly. The nipple discourse is also word for word, pretty much. Why would I need to put in so much effort to be humourous when the masters of electro can do the job so much better eh

and of course it’s just the best feeling in the world when your translation length doesn’t fit

This happened a few times in this interview, though admittedly, not as often as I feared. The interview has such a weird layout that any mistake or under/over-writing would have affected the cross-shapes negatively later on.

A preview of the full title page. Originally the translation at the bottom was ‘Chosen By Our Top DJs’, but there was no way to make that fit.

Finding the right font for the surprisingly long ad was an art form on its own. I’m satisfied with the end product, but I do wish that it could have been a bit shorter - I don’t reckon there would have been a good way to do so, though, without compromising too much of the content. You make do.

I hope it doesn’t look so claustrophobic. Thankfully, my text was much more co-operative when it came to the actual interview. Forming the cross shape wasn’t as awful as I thought the task would be, having to resort to literally putting tape measures on my monitor aside.

And the preview of the full PDF!

That’s about all that needs writing down for the documentation. I’m honestly very exhausted after finishing this project, I think I’m going to go light for a while. There are some big projects I have in mind - Daft Punk Crossbeat 2001, Electro Book 2010, and so on - but for now, they can wait.

Next up is some good old Brodinski, I reckon. Thank you for reading this far, and for enjoying the translation! My readers make it all worthwhile. <3333

Disclaimer: The original text of this interview and associated material, given by Justice and printed in LOUD Magazine in 2008, is not copyrighted by this blog nor by the author of this post. Therefore, the original Japanese text will not be distributed here. The author claims ownership of the wording of this translation, which does not deny nor seek to possess the existence of other translations. This translation may be subject to changes in the future.

[kokliz]

“A REGULAR OPINION”

WARNING!!!! ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE, ITS SPANISH BUT I REALLY WANTED TO SHARE MY OPINION TO EVERYONE

(The photos show all the RS comics I own, the first ones are the latinamerican spanish traduced ones and the second is the Skips Issue - my favs!!! Unfortunately I dont have all of them…..)

Well this past monday (16/01/2017) Regular Show, one of favorite shows…. finished, and of course I watched, loved it and cried…. for hours, I never thought that the ending would hit me hard…., actually now I just feel kind of really weird feelings, happy that finally this show ended and not keeping for more loooong time, you know “an ending”, everyone with happy lives (we now.. thats not really original...) especially the endgame rigleen (One of my BIGGESTS OTPS), but reeeeeeeally sad that ONE of the mayor characters that I never thought would die happened, I thought It was going to be Skips for the moment everyone made the theory about it … 

BUT… ABOUT THE SERIES IN GENERAL (TOTALLY PERSONAL OPINION-things that I liked, hated it and loved it)

In my opinion Ill give the series an 8/10….

I started to watch it here in 2011??? I think?? here in Mexico (dub). I begin to like the weirdness, the “adult jokes” (I was in high school at the moment, 16 years old???), a show that It was obviously more relatable for adults from the 80s, a show about two lazy adults that didnt wanted to grow up.

I guess I got into the fandom while between season 2… watching the original dub… and I didnt get too much importance at the moment, the show wasnt serious, It was only really entertaining, hilarious and sooooooooo weird.

I think the serious part started with Skips past, remember… her, Ill admit I really liked how was his backstory, including the future, he is being doing all the same things for centuries……. now about the other characters (not the extras, just the important ones)…

Benson… He did so many things in his past too??? Hahahah I thought they were really hilarious, being part of a band, the mini hockey game etc… And his love problems were eh …kind of boring mostly…. not so annoying like another one…… but Im fine that he went with the scientist

High Five Ghost… I cant tell you a lot about him, his design is peculiar, good character.. Its good to know about his family and I liked it that he stayed with his girlfriend

Muscle Man, really annoying at first but eh.. well “almost”-everyone liked “my mom” phrase, me too heh.. And of course he was the grossest, all because the exaggeration, mostly of his boobs pffft but pretty funny at last.. And awwww we saw his wedding <3333 And I cried when he saw his daughter in the final ;n;

-Thomas…… OK OK when he appeared in one of the weirdest episodes, I… I… really wanted him to be a new mayor character!! but then the spy russian thing happened out of nothing like????????? OK OK they explained everything but just????????????????? I really didnt like that…. but oh he became good but he cant come back but he said goodbye….. :/  just… anyway 

Rigby, hahah did you know that at first I didnt like him at all?? I just thought he was hilarious but the worst, for being horrible, a lazy who just made everything wrong, and I felt bad for Eileen for how he treated her at first. But when Rigby said he thought that Eileen looked hot without glasses, and she really wanted to be with him… I started to ship them, but at that time I thought they werent gonna end together. Then Rigby become a better person and Mordecai being horrible :^) , the friendship with Eileen started and thats when they become my otp ;3; but I still thought that they wont become a couple, and more since Eileen was not interested with Rigby like the first time…. But then Ooooohhh… the theories about are they dating o not????? their friendship was growing ;U; . And then the first otp win— “we are dating” — I died— but the series were so unfair with them ….. no kiss??? no something about them being in a date??????? a little more serious???? how did they declared their love????? THEY FOCUSED EVERYTHING IN MORDECAI!!!!!!!! >:,) . But oh well we had our better Rigby, that finished his school, and married Eileen at the last, and got kids, and as a Rigleen shipper Im really happy… 

Mordecai, he was my fave at first…. better than Rigby, but then the ultra long really unnecessary love triangle happened :^) Everything for nothing…. two-three?? seasons … about his love problems, I was a CJ-Mordecai shipper, but after THAT, I really wanted him to be alone :/ …. but in the final I actually was happy about him grow as an artist I ended with a mystery girl (I wish we could know her)…. poor character treatment that CJ and Margaret got ._. 

Pops!! oh Pops… A really happy, sensitive and strong character, I always saw him as a cute and weird character, and with a bad father…. but after we knew about that he was the powerful character, I was like “oh what a ummm weird plot twist hahah”, but then you analyze this is how regular show is… 

IT SURPRISED ME THAT IT ENDED IN THAT WAY, AND DEFINITELY MADE CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT HIM

…….. the show is good not super good (IN MY OPINION), It made me laugh so much, its entertaining, is not for everyone of course, and sometimes was so ugghh… but in the end the show has been in CN for 7 years (good it was popular), now Im almost finishing college, and this jolly good show who accompanied me for a long time made me feel really happy….. most of the time pffffft…

THANKS Regular Show

NOTE: I wish I could write more but this what I can only think right now TuT