#and now I'm reading fic from 2014 on 2024 and have such an intense feeling of missing something

[undersummerstars]

You know that feeling you get when you revisit a fandom you loved years ago and get that nostalgic feeling when you read old fics or look at old fanart and remember those golden times?

And then there's the feeling you get when you come across a fandom that you missed out on or never really knew about until now and you read those old fics imagining what the golden times must have been like...

[ambreiiigns]

ok here goes. vale this goes out to you

obviously we will Not mention her by name i don't even like the name like. it's nice actually but it kinda doesn't work To Me but i think i'm just being bitchy bc i now have intense beef w this fic so i just kinda hate everything it does. anyway. it was a college au. and me being a uni student i got VERY excited abt it. i wouldn't wanna give details cause then it's easier to find BUT it's like. dazai's failing his classes on purpose so odasaku, as a teacher, sets him up to get tutored by chuuya. that's fine. i was SOOOOO EXCITEEEED abt odasaku i thought he was gonna stick around i love him so much. HE'S IN LIKE. TWO SCENES. that's kinda when it clicked to me that this was gonna be MEH for me. it was the odasaku disappointment that clued me in. and Yet. i don't know exactly when i went from curiosity reading to straight up hate reading it but it happened and i got to 15 chaps out of 18 or smth. i was rolling my eyes at every line and yet hitting next chapter at 3am AND i Will finish it bc that's how committed to hating i am

so what is it that i Hated so much besides no odasaku [throws phone breaks skateboard] honestly this is so mean but just the writing. the Style ig mixed w the plot? the vibes are giving wattpad 2014/2016 i'm sorry. it just has something that tastes like bad poetic sad romance yearning from old tumblr and i don't like it. but also the plot? and the way the characters are used? it's not fucking with me simply. and i think. That is fair of me to say. so what happens is that dazai is like down bad at first sight which like Yeah just like canon i couldn't possibly have anything to say against it. chuuya takes 19492849 years to realize he likes him too which is fine. but then they get in a fwb situation which i don't LIKE sorry bc it's always shortcut for stupid Miscommunication drama AND I HATE IT SORRY it's so like. easy and corny to get the ~drama~ out of They Don't Talk Right i'm BORED i'm OVER it it's been DONE

AND THEN IT GETS SOOOOO MUCH FUCKING WORSE AND THE VINTAGE TUMBLR WATTPAD COMBO CRINGE TAKES ME THE FUCK OUT they like have some fuckin FIGHT and chuuya doesn't wanna talk to dazai anymore bc there is a fucking AFTER KIND OF VIBE TOO where boohoo the relationship is based on a LIE (dazai failing classes on purpose he doesn't Actually need help studying he is Smart and chuuya feels cheated) so DAZAI ATTEMPTS TO KILL HIMSELF BYE. SORRY NOT THIS IN 2024 COME ON NOT THE UNREQUITED LOVE SUICIDE GOODBYE. like respectfully i wouldn't call this stupid if it was real life obviously but THIS IS AO3. THIS IS WATTPAD EVEN. IN 2024. MY GOD. AM I BEING EVIL HERE

like i cannot take a suicide attempt seriously sorry. but nonetheless. he survives. it's dramatic. they like get back to being friends whatever that's fine. and then on chapter 15 oit of fucking 18 i am introduced to ONE MORE NEW MISCOMMUNICATION PLOTLINE?!??!??!?!? ON GOD????? and it's fucking middle school level BULLSHIT of dazai thinks chuuya likes tachihara WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT TACHIHARA ‼️‼️‼️ WHERE DID THIS MAN COME FROM i find it fucking Insane that you introduce Another obstacle THIS late into the story and it's CHILDREN LEVEL DRAMA. AFTER A SUICIDE ATTEMPT. LIKE just using a suicide attempt plotline for Dramatic Shock Value is insensitive enough to me BUT IT'S NOT EVEN THE LAST BIG BAD? YOU DO THIS AFTER???? THAT'S FUCKING INSANE TO ME I'M SO SORRY FUCK OFF they're in fucking COLLEGE they are BIG BOYS they have CLASS TOMORROW MORNING WHAT IS THIS

so then i Stopped reading because i couldn't Possibly hate you more than this. i Will get back to it but i had it Up To Here. avevo le palle piene. that was fucking. oh my God.

problem number 2 i Hate how the characters are used. who are these people. i actually understand taking the step to make dazai as whiny as he is I Guess. if it's a Normal People Universe it means he's not constantly fighting for his life so maybe he doesn't need to put up the front he puts up in canon. ok i can fucking get that i Guess. but chuuya. chuuya is such a normal guy who's ok. hello. why is dazai so tragic and chuuya's chilling?? like the appeal of doubleblack doesn't lie within them being Uniquely Fucked Up In The Same Way? you took Everything away from chuuya how dare you. my babyboy was shot and electrocuted and lied to and tortured beyond human comprehension in a lab and you give him Dirt in your stupid little fanfic? while dazai gets to be the poorest wettest littlest meow meow in the world? on one hand dazai has 294929492 mentol eelness his parents Killed Themselves and he found the corpses and then Mori happens to him. on the other hand chuuya's a child of divorce and his mom is sick in france. DOES THAT SOUND RIGHT TO YOU?????? i guess france is the biggest trauma you could have but Come ON ‼️

but ALSO every other character. why is fyodor there. at all. why is yuan the jealous bitchy girl Space friend but shirase gets to be a good buddy. i have no notes on yosano and ranpo actually but the treatment of yuan alone did IT for me like. oh really. the girl has to be unsufferable? while the boy who stabbed chuuya gets to be chill? ok. what next. dazai's not like other girls bc yuan likes shopping and makeup and one direction while dazai likes to read? ok. no of course totally. but the BIGGEST offender haha joke is OBVIOUSLY MORI OK LISTEEEEN i. mori makes my skin crawl half the times i see him and the implications are what they are in canon and i, too, have wondered Has He Fucked W Dazai That Way every now and then. i Understand you i See you. again i can see why you'd take that leap. but. in the immature tone that this fic has to me. he comes off as sooo cartoonishly evil it's fucking dumb. he's been raping dazai since he was a kid yeah no of course. god forbid you skip out on one (1) wattpad tragic backstory clichè. please do check them all off your list we simply Need an adult man to be diddling this kid. good Lird. that is SO cheap and easy to me i HATE IT it. AAAAAAAAAA

and point number 3 that maybe set this up for failure the moment i opened that link is that it was actually recommended to me as a Counter Attack to i was screaming your name through the radio which is simply the greatest fic out there. (iwsynttr is like if the heart rate of a mouse didn't make your skin crawl from hindsight) and it does make sense that as i read it it Smelled of 2014 wattpad bc it Was, In Fact, recommended by a 15 year old. some might say of Course this is kinda shite a kid sent that to you. i was saying iwsynttr Fucks and the kid goes oh that's so overrated let me send you a Real good skk fic. and then i was so secondhand embarrassed i wanted to turn to dust. imagine thinking you're showing up iwsynttr and instead send the shittiest cringiest Bad Fic that pisses me off of all time. oh my God. i'm going INSANE honestly it's not like iwsynttr is GOD TIER either the writing style is sort of anonymous to me doesn't have that much personality BUT THE PLOT IS GOOD THE STRUCTURE OF THE FIC IS SOOOOOO GOOD THE CHARACTERS ARE SO PERFECTLY ADAPTED THE PLOTLINES FROM CANON ARE EVEN MORE PERFECTLY RECYCLED INTO FITTING THE UNIVERSE ARE YOU FUCKING JOKINGGG this other fucking thing is SO PAINFULLY JUVENILE AND YOU TELL ME IT KICKS IWSYNTTR'S ASS????? GET OUT. YOU'RE 15 YOU'RE GONNA GROW UP AND LOOK BACK TO THIS AND BE LIKE THAT WAS MY MOST EMBARRASSING MOVE

did i make this fucking Justice. i am like. waiting for dazai to cut a joker smile into his face and become jeff the killer at this point i hate this fic so much. how dare you say this has Anything on i was screaming your name through the FUCKING radio. <- band au type of thing that follows Every Single Plotpoint From The Anime (except stormbringer which i do grieve bc imagine the flags as chuuya's band 😔😔😔) and goes back and forth between the timeline (like throam [gunshot]) and nails their dynamic so perfectly. To Me. oh my God. i am so so. i cannot be allowed to think abt that goddamn fic lest i tear the walls down with my bare hands. GOD god god god gosgodofosdsddddddddddd

may i talk shit abt a skk fic i almost finished reading