#and now I will never know how shitty my shitty Wheatley was and if I can make him better

[navalcriminalimagines]

I really and completely lost interest in SVU… and I needed to vent about it. (This is my personal opinion, and if you don’t share it, that’s very okay. Don’t hate me.)

(If you haven’t watched S23E09 ‘People vs Richard Wheatley’, spoilers ahead!)

I think I’m done with this show.

Ever since they started Organized Crime and brought back Meloni, it’s getting worse and worse. I really don’t understand what’s going on with the writers. I’m not someone who tweets much but I check Twitter everyday and every time I saw fans going after WL, I felt bad for him. I made excuses for him - and the others - but I can’t anymore. I don’t understand them anymore. SVU is being ruined.

Because this show is all about Bensler now. I feel like every storyline, every scene, every come back is just there to tease and promote this ‘relationship’. I love Mariska and I’m not a fan of Meloni but that’s not even about that. It’s about the fact that it feels like they are trying to erase the ten seasons we had without Stabler. And it just sucks. We were doing very well without him - especially Olivia.

Can it come back to what it was?!

When they brought back Danny/Nick Amaro for one episode, I was excited. I loved his character and missed him. They didn’t do him dirty (thank god) but they left his relationship with Olivia on a bad spot and that thing sucks. Why are they ruining every relationship Olivia has?! Such a mystery… 🙄

And now, Rafael. Dear god, Rafael. One of my favorite characters ever - all shows included - and they ruined him. I mean, I possibly can understand that he’s a defense lawyer now but even after watching the ep, I don’t get why he defended Wheatley?! This is the villain in OC. Rafael doesn’t defend villain. Especially not villains who goes after Olivia.

And his relationship with Olivia? They destroyed that too. “I feel betrayed by you.” This hurts really bad and I’m not even a Barson shipper (I’m on Team Barisi, but I’m not even going there ‘cause it’s a lost fight and I know it). But their friendship has been one of my favorite things on SVU since season 14, and now, I’m not even sure this friendship still exist. All of this for what? Promote Bensler? Again?

They really are ruining SVU. They ruined it for me, actually. I can’t watch it anymore, because I can’t find what I loved about it. I feel like if you don’t watch OC, you can’t follow SVU. These should be two different shows. They should stop mixing them the way they are, just to give Olivia and Elliot scenes.

Seriously, I’m not a big of fan of Rollins - never was - but where was she in last night’s ep? We barely even saw Fin. And somehow, I even felt like we didn’t see much of Carisi. Not to mention Kat’s and Garland’s departure at the beginning of the season. It’s like no one matters except EO. Where’s even Noah at?! Did the writers forget that Liv has a son?

I love Raúl more than I can express, and I love Rafael so much but fuck, I wished he didn’t come back. Because coming back for this? That’s shitty. Warren write Barba in the first place, and it feels like he forgot what he wrote years ago. They ruined a fans’ favorite. (However I admit that Raúl’s performance was freaking amazing. He killed it as always.) I can’t even imagine how they would make him come back one day. Not sure I want to, anyway.

Not sure I’ll ever watch SVU again. Thanks no thanks to the writers. If the show stopped, it wouldn’t move me. That’s how bad it is.

(NCIS hurt last season, there’s a lot that I don’t understand and dislike very much, but even through the changes, departures and arrivals, the show is still what it always was. A crime show, not a goddamn soap opera.) (Yes, I compare NCIS and SVU because they are my two favorite shows ever. And where NCIS still brings me comfort, SVU doesn’t anymore.)

As far as my writing goes, I’ll still write for Rafael and Sonny (if ideas come), but I’ll ignore the latest season.

[spideyspeaches]

Christmas Chaos

This idea came from this post - @dizzydancingdreamer​ I could not fit Benny and Beth under the mistletoe and this ended up being chaotic but I hope you like my shitty writing anyway :)

WC: 1k

Beth had never imagined that she would ever live a domestic life.

The thought of living such a life as they showed in the television felt unreal, fictional to her. Something that she would never be able to achieve because of the ghost of her past life lingering in her entire being, hanging above her head like a sword on the verge of falling.

Her years at Methuen had been a fevered dream, a blurry view she saw from the windows of a running train. Just when she thought she would also, just like her mother, go insane while in the throes of addiction, Mrs. Wheatley adopted her. She had felt a semblance of normalcy that night as she flopped down on her bed, watching the stars from her bedroom’s window.

It had felt nice, comfortable and cozy, a warm feeling taking residence in her chest. But even then, she hadn’t felt as normal as any other adolescent girls her age would. She had been told that she was extraordinary, and extraordinary people didn't fit in with the ordinary. Girls and boys alike would stray far away from her. 

So she found her own place on a chessboard.

The small, black and white world of pawns and knights, Kings and Queens had become her place. A comfort zone she could dominate and manipulate as she willed. Her life became her chess board- two steps forwards, half a step right. One step forward and a kill. She felt powerful, in control of her life.

On her way to her mastery of chess, she met new people, fell in love and explored. For the first time in a long time, she had started to feel normal again, and then Mrs. Wheatley- her mother in everything but blood- left her alone. Just like her biological mother had. She had never felt such great loss in her life before- not when her biological mother died, not when she found out the government had banned the tranquilizers.

“What are you thinking about cracker?” Jolene said, startling from her position on the doorjamb, her hands unfolding as she smiles at her friend. 

“Nothing, nothing important.” Beth answered, carefully gauging her words as she saw the scene unfold in front of her. She suppressed a chuckle as she saw Matt smear some whipped cream on his brother’s nose, creating a mess in the kitchen as they fought over the cookies.

“Well that sounds dangerous, Beth Harmon not thinking, unfathomable.” Jolene smirks, a smirk appearing on Beth’s face as well.

“It was nothing important.” She dismissed, shaking her head as she fixed her dress.

“It doesn’t look like nothing, you look solemn.” 

“I always look solemn, that’s how I win my matches.”

“Oh no no cracker, you look like you’re just about a second away from killing the person in front of you when you play. I’ve seen it.”

“Look it’s.. It’s nothing okay?” She smiled, blushing under her friend’s gaze.

“Whatever you say sister,” Her friend drawls, “I’m gonna take advantage of your extensive liquor cabinet.”

“Be my guest.” Beth gestured, slyly smirking as she saw her make her way, picking up the most expensive bottle of wine as if to aggravate her. Contrary to popular belief, not many things angered Beth (except chess, a very demeaning and confusing emotion, seeing as she loved to play chess).

“Elizabeth! Oh my you look so fucking gorgeous!” Cleo said loudly, a bottle of Jack Daniels held in her hand as she not so discreetly checked her out, sighing dreamily. 

“Doesn’t she?” Jolene intervened.

“Oh who am I kidding? She always looks gorgeous, remember that time when we were at the hotel in Paris, the day before Borgov’s match-”

“Yes Cleo, I have a photographic memory remember?” Beth cut her off, dragging her and Jolene by their shoulders, sitting them down in front of the closet. She smiled when she saw them both jump happily, Cleo enthusiastically matching pairs of dresses and shoes that Jolene could wear.

Walking down the staircase, a clang from the kitchen and some muffled cursing startled her enough to make her jump, the loud noises of Benny and Harry singing christmas songs made her wince.

Yet,she didn’t feel the annoyance that would usually creep up her brain, instead, she felt the strange warmth return in her chest.

“What the fuck is going on here?” She said, raising an eyebrow as she saw Benny clinging on to Harry under the mistletoe, Matt and Mike- their faces now smudged with cream and Townes, who was attempting to arrange the table all stop in their tracks. And then all at once, everyone started talking.

“Uh, you know the tradition? If you’re caught under the mistletoe-”

“- Beth I don’t think the turkey cooked well, I’m going to have to bake it once again-”

“-Mike ate the last cookie, we were supposed to share!”

“-the gingerbread looks a little disfigured”

“-Benny stop trying to kiss my cheek Christ!”

“All of you! Hey, hey calm down everyone! Benny get off Harry, Matt I’ll get you more cookies all right? Oh fuck, Townes wear gloves for fuck’s sake it’s hot!” She said all in one breath, looking at everyone’s wide eyes as they all stopped to look at her as she folded her arms, a stern look on her face. An awkward silence filled the air, no one daring to move as Beth glared at them all.

Moments of silence passed, only to be interrupted as Cleo stumbled out of the dressing room, loudly clanking her chunky boots on the floor.

“Why is everyone so quiet?” She said, looking around in confusion, leaning on Jolene- who was now wearing one of Beth’s dresses.

And once more the commotion ensued. 

Sitting on the couch with her legs folded under her, a glass of whatever whiskey held in her hand, she laughed at some anecdote Matt had been reciting as he sat criss cross applesauce under the christmas tree, her laughter drowned by the others as they goofed around. Sitting back, she took a sip of her whiskey, nudging her foot so it met the foot of the couch.

She never thought she would lead a domestic life, but here she was. She liked it.

Tagging some people who might be interested: @the-panwitch​ @jen27ny​ @jazzkaurtheglorious​ 

[withteeths]

Maybe Steamrolling Games is Bad Actually

Videogames are unique in that they are inextricably tied to corporatism and have been since birth (this is an oversimplification but roll with it). This means that to an extent most companies even since the ’80s have never really cared about proper preservation or easy access to their titles. Nintendo carts were originally manufactured to have their battery die in 3 years so you would have to buy a new one (this failed, but it’s why you still see a lot of dead carts floating around). I think there's a nostalgia issue within the gaming fandom regarding "oh x was great back then" but a lot of the time, games manufacturers have been historically shitty and anti-consumer and it’s just that they now have the tools to execute it much more effectively. Regarding obtrusive DRM, that’s an issue PC games have had since their zenith, where if you lost your original copy of a manual or a small plastic key you could never play a game again because the codes were individualized for each copy and support would refuse to give you a new one. Even back in the arcades, there were particularly batshit examples like the CPS board, which I shit you not was built to explode a battery pack filled with corrosive acid if it detected you were attempting to repair or modify it. There’s a lot to say about the current state of games but what I would likely illustrate is that 2/3 major consoles are racing to decide who will be obsolete first. Games consoles are reaching a point where they are trying to emulate PCs with more restrictions and DRM. We're already seeing interest in steam spike again and it’s likely that eventually, we will see almost a crash for consoles where no one can justify the price for games they can play on a PC rig. The only solution I see there would be a merger between the two consoles which feels inevitable. 

That being said as interest in the PC space increases again so does attempts at entering the bubble. We have Epic, Origin, Microsoft, Indiegala, Itchio, and Steam all vying for attention, requiring accounts, and offering exclusives to justify the use of their storefront over others. Some people think this is a good thing because it's breaking up Steam's monopoly but it literally is not, if you ever really wanna hear me rant ask me about Leftist obsession with itch being some sort of ethical steam, which it is provably not. In the end, the real sort of saviour figures that work to preserve games are random ass people on the internet. I know people who automatically assume that at the end of the day, companies care about games preservation too, and they usually have a three-pronged argument that cites a) Steam’s ability to allow the redownloading of delisted games, b) retro companies periodically rereleasing titles for modern consoles in compilations, and c) companies doing limited reruns of a game that fans request. All three of these examples are basically an incredibly effective use of diversionary tactics, but most of the time when someone cites these I just assume it’s a misunderstanding and not outright malicious intent because a lot of the time companies will attempt to actively implant these ideas to build brand loyalty.

My main dissertation is usually that Steam is incredibly selective with what titles you can redownload, and most importantly, corporate benevolence is more-so a band-aid on a gaping wound! There’s no contingency for when Steam might migrate to a new service, go belly up, or become obsolete when a new OS is created. That means thousands, tens of thousands of dollars worth of games are just gone, permanently, along with fan mods, DLC, and content. It’s a terrifying thought that not many people bring up when discussing the problems with game storefronts that focus so much on providing a cloud and have DRM attached to every purchase. In a way, Steam preceded the trend of not allowing consumers to actually own the things they purchased, and they’ve avoided criticism by strategic use of silence and creating the illusion of a company being made by the consumers they’re attempting to serve. At the end of the day, Steam is a business, and if you ever lose access to your Steam account, or they decide to up and leave one day, you will not be able to play almost all of those games, even if you have them installed on a hard drive, because if you’re online, they connect with a server to ensure your steam account has the ability to play them. When it comes to other arguments like the limited rereleases or use of compilations to preserve arcade titles, I usually just beg people to look at community-driven options that have existed for years. The Scott Pilgrim game is a big source of contention, but I would point out that for years now, it was playable, for free, with all the DLC, on PCs. Preservationists didn’t wait for the gods of Universal and O’Malley to rerelease it for 30 bucks or save up to snatch the fucking ridiculous 200$ limited edition with shitty paper cut-outs, they straight up just did the work to make the game free and available. RCPS3 has (with a contemporary build) been able to run the game pretty flawlessly for years now, in fact, it was how I played through a majority of the game in high school on my shitty brick of a laptop. If you look further out than this one example then it gets even better, MAME and other emulation backends have been able to play obscure, unfinished, and homebrew titles with 100% accuracy, on almost any setup, for free, for decades! I found out about many of these options back in 2015 or so, certainly late to the curve, but I never really questioned as to why emulation, games preservation, and some key titles being available on PC remained some sort of arcane, unknown knowledge to most people interested in games. In the end, the answer was a highly effective propaganda campaign that combined with strategic use of DMCA takedowns has resulted in the concept of communal games-preservation and emulation becoming some sort of debate, where people will wholeheartedly side with corporations in some sort of quest for preserving things the “ethical and correct way,” which is code for preservation on the condition that it remains profitable for the IP owners.

 I think the best way to illustrate this would be with the community built around the preservation of an infamous PS4 title, PT. The story of its inevitable delisting from the storefront and the messy breakup between Kojima and Konami is well known, so I won’t regurgitate it, look it up at your own leisure. What is significant here is corporate reactions to attempts at preserving the game, which can basically be boiled down to Konami acting with borderline rabid fervour to prevent redownload, redistribution, or recreation of a seven-year-old demo, released for free download. Mentions of solutions to redownload the game have been taken down, fan-made recreations for PC, and archival servers that store a copy of the game for future preservation or emulation. Usually when this is brought up a debate occurs citing that technically speaking, Konami has a right to do this whenever they want, for whatever piece of media they believe infringes on their copyright. On one hand, yes this argument is factually correct considering the current state of copyright and ownership of media, but on the other hand, what compels someone to step into the ring for a multi-million dollar company with the primary argument being “well actually, people SHOULDN’T be able to play this specific video game until it benefits the shareholders”? In my opinion, it’s some sort of corporatized symbiosis where players believe that, if you cull the bad actors and play by the rules of the company, you may be able to eventually play the game a couple of years down the line. Sure, this has happened in the past with a few isolated cases, but it can’t be stressed enough that this is a genuinely dangerous and reductive position for people to take regarding games preservation.

 I have two colleagues, Mariken and Fotocopiadora, who released a short interactive title called Videopulp (playable here: https://fotocopiadora.itch.io/videopulp). It’s a dramatic reimagining of a real historical event, wherein a promotional event was held in 1994 at Lelystad to destroy bootleg carts by a figure in a Mario costume. This perhaps best encapsulates something I am pleading with younger generations to understand, as an archivist, art historian, and creator: corporations are not your friends, and they never will be. With the rise of online circles of leftism, this concept is starting to gain traction but is starting to be polluted with concepts of fandom and tribalism. This has lead to arguments that while *most* corporations are bad how could you say that about Nintendo? Or Valve? Mario is so innocent and characters like Wheatley are beloved by all! I feel some people don’t realize that they can enjoy a select title or character without enlisting in a corporate faction in the battle for “best company” or “best videogame”. It leads to a parasocial kinship with a nonexistent figure that was hand-crafted to ensure consumer loyalty to a certain brand. It’s depressing, terrifying, and should stand as a disquieting example of how the grip of capitalism on works of art has permanently distorted how we think and engage with media today. So, what’s the solution? As always I can never really provide something concrete that’ll act as a cure-all, only things that people in games need to work towards. Bring up conversations about games preservation, create archives for your own work, support archivists and boost their work whenever a new discovery is created, and try to promote optimism and solidarity in your hobbyist communities. I’ve noticed a lot of futility being intertwined with the future of AAA gaming, use of online storefronts, and the inability to own pieces of media anymore, and I feel this should be pushed back against, even in a minute way. Open-source programmes still exist that allow you to hold on to what you have purchased, offline and ad-free options exist for games launchers, e-readers, and media players. The future isn’t bright, but it is not a place without hope, and as long as people continue to enter communities with passion and ingenuity, I think we have a chance at stopping the events at Lelystad, 1994 from happening again. 

[headcrabs-the-forbidden-hat]

A Deal With The Devil |G-Man/Gender-Neutral!Reader|

pairing: g-man (half life) x gender-neutral!reader 

(I tried to keep it gender-neutral, but you might get the occasional female pronouns; what can I say? I don’t edit my shit)

words: 2,661

warnings: unedited, mild cursing

summary: [y/n], after not having a good day, encounters a strange non-human man, but they aren’t as afraid as they are annoyed with him.

notes: wanted to jump into the g-man x reader bandwagon, and this idea has been plauging me since. enjoy!

During the nights when they can't sleep, [y/n] sits out on the rooftops and stares at the star-splattered sky. For every star their eyes isolate in the navy sky, they give it a name. Sometimes they give the stars names like Glados and Wheatley. Other times, the names the stars get are words, some unique like ethereal or onism. Most of the time, however, the names are just words depending on their mood.

And what a shitty mood they're in tonight.

Their eyes land on one star near the center of the sky. It's smaller than the surrounding stars, thus giving itself the name Inferior.

Bang!

Jumping in surprise, their eyes snap to the dark streets below. They see nothing—probably was an animal, they think in an attempt to calm their pounding heart—but they move away from the edge just in case. After having a terrible day, adding yet another incident with the Combine is not high on their "most wanted in life" list right now.

Their eyes move back to the white glowing dots in the sky, eyes searching until they stop on another star. This one is dim compared to the others; Unremarkable is the first word to come to mind. Pleased with the name, your eyes search the sky again. The mysterious banging forgotten—

Crash!

Okay, sounds like someone's breaking into a window. [y/n], despite her caution, moves to the edge of the rooftop. The breaking glass sounds close, but what if it's just an echo? Swallowing the rising fear in their throat, they back away from the edge. They make sure to grab their pistol as another "just in case" moment. Just in case someone breaks into shelter while they sleep.

The day was bad enough already, comes the thought, this might as well happen.

Just as they are about to climb down through the hole in the roof, a flash of blue catches their eye. They freeze, heart lurching to their throat. Then they turn around, eyes darting from each dark corner on the roof. Is someone here? they want to ask, which is stupid all on its own.

They stand there, frozen, as they continue to scour their rooftop and the other rooftops. Did Combine wear blue? No, they didn’t—they don’t have a stylish bone in their bodies. And all the commotion from earlier meant human, or a zombie, was doing something. 

But headcrab zombies aren’t blue, and they aren’t fast. And what would a human want with this place, anyway, in Combine Central?

They turn and stare down into the hole, and there it is again—the flash of blue. Well, not a flash, but they can see the blue. They squint their eyes, noticing half the outline of a shoulder with a pale hand holding . . . a briefcase?

Something about the sight seems . . . wrong. Why? 

They aim the pistol down, close enough to scare the person away if they pulled the trigger. “Who’s down there?” They ask, voice echoing throughout the abandoned building. 

They hear a faint moan from a zombie in the building over, but no response from the person. “Get out of there before I shoot you,” they warn. Still no response.

Then the person moved further into the darkness, shoulder and briefcase disappearing. 

[y/n] curses and inches closer to the edge. They knock back the hammer and stare into the gaping, black void of the crumbling building. Not seeing anything, not even a dark silhouette, they inch closer. The wood creaks, breaking the tense silence like a jackhammer against concrete. [y/n] holds their breath, praying the flooring keeps.

It breaks beneath their weight.

With a scream stuck in their throat, they can’t even think to brace for impact. The wind whips at their face and their eyes water at the intensity. They curl themselves into a fetal position and move their arms to cover their face. Nothing but darkness as they fall down, down . . . down . . . down.

Halting in the middle of a dark void, [y/n] stares agape at the dots moving past them. As if they were in a spaceship and turned on hyperdrive, though in slow motion. They uncurled from themselves. Their feet touch invisible ground and they straighten their spine. They spin around in bewilderment. Is this Heaven or what? 

Their eyes move from the passing specs of white and stare straight ahead, unable to wrap their mind around this . . . predicament. If they could even call it such a thing—they could be dead and now wait to face judgement.

Well then.

Then they notice two unmoving specs. They don’t dare step closer, unsure if the scene will vanish before their eyes again. They stare right into the white specs, unaware of them moving closer until a wrinkled face pops out into the light from an invisible light source. 

The bright white eyes dim into a human blue. The creature before them—that’s not human, it’s not human! her panicked thoughts blare—contorts its human face into a smug smile. Without breaking eye contact, [y/n] notices the blue suit the man-creature wears, though his briefcase is missing. They know, without a doubt, this thing was trying to get her attention earlier.

Why was he trying to get me to follow him?  

They raise their hand in an attempt to aim their pistol at them, but they lost the gun. Lost somewhere in this . . . void. Damn, it was my only one, too. 

Too unnerved to feel an ounce of hot embarrassment, [y/n] steadies their voice as they demand, “Who—what are you?”

“There are things far more important matters to discuss than who—or what—I am,” he says in this voice [y/n] can only describe as Twilight Zone-esque. Not too deep, not too light, but in between, with the odd emphasis on an occasional word. 

Though they’d never admit it in her wildest dreams, they found his voice enchanting. And I know I’m dead because of that thought. 

They keep their wary gaze on the man as he makes his way closer in a leisure, almost predatory pace. Holy Hell, he’s a giant. [y/n] cranes their neck to keep the unbreakable eye contact, heart pounding in their chest from the proximity. 

“Please tell me what’s important so I don’t stray from serious matters,” they ask in a mocking, deadpan tone. 

Before they can turn around, the man disappears. They frown, annoyance beginning to overtake their fear. If there’s one thing [y/n] hated more than the Combine, it was when people played cat-and-mouse games, or left them in suspense.

[y/n] does a full spin to catch the sight of his blue suit, but no luck. The moving dots mess with their head, giving them vertigo. They stumble back into something cold and immovable. A wall? But as they spin on their heel, the tall man stares down at them with glowing white eyes.

To show they’re not intimidated with his overall appearance and abilities, [y/n] sizes him up. They cannot stop the inappropriate thoughts springing in their mind. 

God Almighty, human or not, I’d flock to him like flies to honey—and I’m definitely going to Hell for that thought.

“You impress my employers, [y/n] [l/n].” Hearing those odd words, they raise an eyebrow. The man continues. “However, I am not quite as impressed.”

Their eyes narrow. “I didn’t realize I was working for your approval.” 

The man gives them an odd look, one that makes the hairs on their neck and arms stand in a—dare they admit it—a good way. He then claps his hands behind his back and circles around her in his predatory walk. “I’ve observed your behavior through various situations. Compared to others I’ve worked with, you are inferior. Your work is mediocre, and overall, unremarkable.”

“Tell me how you really feel, and please, don’t hold back.”

The man chuckles; [y/n] hates the tiny flutter in their chest as they hear it. “Not to mention your lackluster humor,” he adds to his ever-growing list of their wrongs.

They open their mouth to say their defense, but he turns around. The words falter on their tongue as a more sincere grin graces his wrinkled features. “But what if we could do better?”

All [y/n] manages out is a faint, “We?”

“You see, [y/n], my employers call on me to . . . nudge things from time to time, to get them moving towards a prospective future,” he says, stopping to face them. “And you are one of those things.”

They think his words over, but there’s a small voice in the back of their mind telling them no. They shake their head and say, “Whatever you’re selling, I’m not buying.”

The man smirks as if he expected their response. His reaction irked, if not excited them. “What if I told you I can give you something you never thought you wanted before?”

“Then I’d tell you you’re full of shit,” comes their mindless answer.

He gives them a small, amused smile. Then a sudden white flash blinded [y/n]. Protecting their eyes, they cover their face with their arm and grit their teeth. The blinding light dims, then disappears. They remove their arm from their face, blinking through the black dots clotting their vision.

The man replaced the slow-moving black void with the environment of a small garage. Their eyes move across the workbench, cluttered with various tools and devices they don’t recognize, and to the shelves filled with the other unfamiliar gadgets. 

Then the door of the garage opens, and [y/n]’s eyes snap to the spot. They suck the air through their teeth in a silent gasp as their eyes land on themselves. Well, their future selves. [y/n] takes in their future and decides they don’t like what they see. 

Their future self is not . . . okay. Worse off than they are now. Skin as pale as the dead bodies littering the streets, protruding bones to give an ill appearance. And those eyes. There’s something about those eyes that are . . . of kilter, not right. Like someone tried to remake a replica of [y/n] but messed up somewhere in the process, giving a non-human look. 

Much like the man next to them when he disappears in the darkness and his eyes glow.

“I look . . . pretty much the same,” they lie—it seems like the right thing to do, not only for the man but for themselves.

Don’t let him know you see the cracks through this manipulation . . . whatever it is.

They watch the future them head over to the workbench. They pick up a hammer, and without paying attention, hit at their finger. Cursing, they toss the hammer to the corner and then stick their smarting fingers into their mouth in attempt to ease the throbbing pain. 

“And I pretty much act the same,” they add to their ever growing list of faults, frowning.

They turn and face the man. “I thought you were showing me the thing I never thought I wanted.” They say with a scowl, “Well? I’m waiting.”

His smug smile returns as he comments, “An impatient little thing, aren’t you?”

[y/n] snaps their face around so the man doesn’t see the blush creeping up their face.  

They continue watching themselves. Their future self walks away from the workbench with a similar scowl and towards a blank wall. Tilting their head, they watch as their future self flicks their wrist towards the wall. A black, liquid-looking circle appears out of nowhere, widening enough for their future self to fit inside without having to slouch. 

A portal, a goddamn portal!

Without thinking, you run towards your future self. They don’t notice their past self. It’s a vision. Good, comes the strange thought, I can handle all this, but meeting myself is not high on my list. Standing as close as they can get to the portal, they peer inside the yawning circle but see nothing. Their future self passes through them as if they were a ghost—which, technically, they were —and disappears into the portal. A second after, the portal disappears with them.

[y/n] pulls away and stares right at the man, who already watches her with a curious expression. Like a scientist watching an experiment he could not predict yet. They clear any expression they have on their face, knowing it wouldn’t do any good to be an open book when making a deal with the devil. If there is any deal. 

But on a minor note, Hell yeah, I want powers.

“So, you said your employers call you to nudge things to an ideal future. What exactly do I have to do with this future?” They ask, inching closer to the mysterious man.

He doesn’t answer her question. Instead, he holds out his briefcase. “All will be explained in due time, once you take this.”

Something—a small voice in the back of their mind—tells them not to take it. Deal with the devil, remember? Nothing good comes out of that. They stare at the briefcase, biting the inside of their cheek hard enough to taste metallic blood. They reach out to take it, ignoring the leering look of the man looming before them.

But then they stop and drop their hand to their side.

They shake their head as they think of their future self’s appearance. Completely the same, but not quite, erring on the side of a conscious zombie. A puppet for this creature and his “employers”, which all but means masters. [y/n] hates zombies not because they’re flat-out terrifying or annoying to deal with, but because they’re zombies. No free-will, not anymore.

And if there’s one thing [y/n] craves more in the world than anything, it’s free-will and the freedom to do whatever they want with it. Authority and slavery can go fuck itself.

“No,” they tell the man, looking up into his wide eyes, “I’m not taking your briefcase. Take me back home.”

Within a blink of an eye, the briefcase disappears and the man takes [y/n]’s face in his cold hands. He bends his back to get as close to their face as he can. “You’re a fool if you haven’t thought this through,” he says in a low growl. 

Though he lost his calm, collected composure, and his growl was terrifying, [y/n] is more shocked by the tingling feeling in their chest than anything else. They grab a hold of his wrists and in attempt to keep his hands from squishing their head.

“I may be inferior, unremarkable, and mediocre. Even downright lackluster,” they spit out, then grin as they say, “but mama hasn’t raised a fool.” They pull his hands away from their face and demand, “Take me back home. Now.”

The blinding white light flashes with a vengeance. They cover their face with their arm and wait until the light vanishes. 

When they remove their arms, they see they’re back in the building they call a shelter. They turn around and take everything in. Never in their wildest dreams did they think it would be a blessing to be back here, among the rubble and garbage. Then they turn to the area where they’ve made a little makeshift workbench and grins.

They walk over and pick up a small screwdriver fit for electronics. They smack the handle against their palm as they think of their game plan. Make a portal machine, then perfect it into a simple device, like gloves or a gun. Shouldn’t be hard, not with all these aliens and their machines hanging around on Earth.

Before they set down and get to work, they spot a flash of blue in the corner of their eye. They angle their head towards the rooftop and see the man stare down at them. His face is unreadable. They wave to him, and he disappears without a wave bank.

[y/n] smirks. We’ll see who’s a fool, won’t we?   

[grimesucker]

                                                                                      i passed a milestone !

i don’t know if this counts since technically i haven’t reached a milestone since my revival, but we’re still gonna take part in this FOLLOW FOREVER, BIAS LIST, FAVORITE FACES ---            whatever you want to call it, this is a list of everyone i love seeing on my dash. 

➤ 6R1M35UCK3R5  ( i would handcuff myself to all of you if i had enough hands )

@protegens grey baby to be honest i wouldn’t even Be Here if it weren’t for you. ...that means any complaints i get are being forwarded straight into your inbox. no but seriously. it’s thanks to you that i’ve been introduced to a place to expand my characters and creative process, and maybe it’s a pretty shitty platform, but i appreciate it nonetheless. i’m gonna try not to turn this entire post into an essay about how much you mean to me and how much i love you, but that’s gonna be hard. you’re just---the best. you’ve been the best partner in absolutely every way, and i will never NOT be grateful for you. you’re skilled, you’re creative, you’re entertaining, you’re cute as fuck. i love you so much boo------or do i get to call you pre-fiance yet ? ♥♥♥

@thewitchandtheangels f a t e. every time i go back to read old writings, i always look up what you and i have written together because it is some of my favorites. i mentioned once that you’re absolutely one of my writing soulmates, and i MEANT it. right from the start our muses clicked, and ever since i have been totally addicted to writing with you. it’s also Super Great that you yourself are amazing. you’re sweet and you’re fun and even though you like to Kill Me with angst, you’re also always there to make it all better in the end. i love you ;w;

@hybriidborn lori-bee is it hard to hide your halo and wings ?? you are truly an angel and i am So Extremely Glad to have you in my life. you mean so much to me and i’m so appreciative of your friendship. ---especially because it means i don’t have to feel bad when i want to throw ideas of our muses together, because my goodness i so totally adore the relationships we’ve built for our muses. you’re an incredible writer with so much care and thought behind your words, and trust me it does not go unnoticed. i cherish every word you share. i love you !

@aquaeques kiRA. i cry whenever i think about you because my affection just overflows. ...even though you have a habit of trying to break my heart every chance you get. ---but i encourage it, so who’s really at fault here ??? ( no one bc we love it bc we’re monsters. )  listen it doesn’t often happen that i have a muse who latches on SO STRONGLY to another, but regarding our keith and lance, my red boy just wants to let everyone know that your blue boy is taken. ...especially in the galra/altean AU. i honestly Live for it---out of all the AUs i’ve ever been a part of, spanning across every muse i’ve ever played, it is absolutely one of my top 3 favorites. like, look---i love talking to you, and i love developing storylines with you, and i love that you’re one of the best people Ever. you’re amazing and i love you c’:

➤ 6U773R-H34D5 ( i adore you guys to pieces )

@haharlarious lacy !! i have yet to throw this muse at you but i know that once i get the chance our kids are totally gonna hit it off. ...maybe not necessarily in a GOOD way, but writing with you always provides me So Much muse that i usually just end up word-vomiting but you manage to make something out of it anyway. ♥ like, i love you as an RP partner but also just as a person because you’re So Cool and so genuinely awesome and getting to meet you twice has been really friggin’ cool, even though i’m a socially awkward bean. i hope to see you again this year ;D love you !!

@spacefischy okay so holt honestly i have so much admiration for you because, dude, you have one of the most incredible OCs to have ever been developed. krie is cool as hell and i’ve always followed along to your posts even before we started talking just because i wanted to know what was happening to them !! it’s really amazing, this character you’ve come up with, and i constantly find myself just going back to read things we’ve talked about whenever i need a smile. ---also, i have spent hours appreciating the art you’ve made of krie. my favorite is still that one baby icon though ;0 ♥ plus, i know you’ve made my baby happy with what you’re writing between Krie and Newt, so now i am especially invested in their friendship. ilu♥♥

@tentaculi espy ! i can’t even begin to tell you how happy i was to find you still active. ;w; i remember with such giddiness all the threads we’ve written, and all the plots we’d chatted about. to this day, adam n’ charlie’s zombie encounter remains one of the most painful threads i’ve written, just because of how Into It we got in the IMs. ---and greyson ?? FML they’re the best family and i adore them. and i adore you ! you’re fun and you’re silly and you always make the mood bright and i will love you always ♥

@endlessdrifter dave i have that photoshopped picture of keith in an ‘adamaniacs’ shirt saved on my phone. l i s t e n everything we’ve written together has been so much fun, and i’m so excited to see what future plots we come up with. right now i’m so totally in love with the interactions between dox and raghan, and i just KNOW i will continue to be amused by them because you’re just such a wonderful writing partner ??? you’re fantastic ♥

@frequencied / @0xa00001 ecto. brah. we haven’t known each other all that long but already i am So Very Attached to You. you’re seriously so much fun to talk to, to the point where i end up giggling in my chair because the things you say just make me feel all bubbly and cheery. i’m so looking forward to any and all future interactions ;w; ---and i am still so ready for keith to punt wheatley into space ;P ♥

➤ UPP3R-L3V3L3R5 ( i admire you guys so much you’re all so cool )

@nekrikos & @therevcnant & @thewillfulones & @theimpalpable & @ourbcst & @contrarymuses & @cursia & @gigglcwatcrr & @astriicus & @tragiciisms & @securitrcn & @southcrnfightcr & @creatingxdragons & @rezamuerte & @viiennawaits & @assassiniism & @oddyssea & @carnigora & @sugarcrafting

A thousand thanks to everyone who has taken the time to interact with me. It’s really an honor to be able to write with so many talented people, and even though i’m slow as fuck, i really do have so much fun with you guys. All the words you’ve ever shared with me are true gifts to my eyes. You guys make my brain happy. ♥♥♥

[cartoonfan7]

Has anyone thought of these yet?

Camp Camp by Rooster Teeth has become a haven for AU crafting, but as far as I know, no one’s thought of certain ones that I honestly thought would happen be now. Or maybe someone has thought of them already and I just never came across them for some reason. Regardless, I will list my fleeting AU ideas and leave up to the rest of you to figure out the full basics. Anyone can use the following….. 

 Portal AU: This one seems so particularly obvious, to the point I’m not sure I’m *seemingly* the only one who thought it up. I don’t particularly have any ideas for an AU like this outside of CC characters as Portal characters. My current roster is Max as Chell, Daniel as GLaDOS, Mr. Honeynuts as the Companion Cube, Jasper as Wheatley, Cameron Campbell as Cave Johnson, David as Caroline, Space Kid as The Space Core,  Nikki as The Adventure Core, and Neil as The Fact Sphere.  It’s slightly weird that technically David turns into Daniel in this AU, but I wasn’t too sure of just having OOC David for most of the AU. I did figure that David would be perfect singing “Still Alive”, “Want You Gone”, “GLaDOS’s cut song”, and “You Wouldn’t Know”. I could use some help figuring out the rest of the roster I still need to fill Doug Rattmann, The Morality Core, The Curiosity Core,  The Cake Recipe Core, The Anger Core, The Announcer, The Turrets, The Defective Turrets, Atlas & P-Body, and Greg.  Any help figuring these guys out would be tremendous.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory AU:   The same kind of AU as above only expanded and I actually have a few ideas for this one: It’s meant to combine elements from the original book with it’s two cinematic adaptations (Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory and Charlie & the Chocolate Factory). Campbell Inc. has become one of, if not, the richest companies on the planet, effectively on the levels of Megacorporations, but strangely enough, it seems primarily known and famous for what would, under other circumstances, be considered kids stuff, like toys and candy. But everyone agrees that, somehow, someway, they are top of the line, the best of the best. The head of the company even gains more publicity when he took in several kids from less than stellar backgrounds and adopted them, including Davey and Jasper. But the Campbell Inc. seems to be falling into hard times as the world rolled into the 21st century. Rumors began abounding about the illicit and downright illegal activities of CEO, Cameron Campbell, including unconfirmed allegations of abuse, exploitation, and even one of his kids dying horrifically in an industrial accident in Campbell’s combined primary factory/mansion/theme park. On top of that, competitors who wished to discover Campbell’s money making secrets in all things sent spies into Campbell’s factories around the globe and managed to make a few sizable discoveries before Campbell was forced to lay off a majority of this workforce and try to rebuild the company from the ground up. Campbell himself became a recluse and gave control of the company to one of his adopted kids after some of the previously rumored illicit and illegal activity was confirmed, many speculating that Campbell did this to have a scapegoat to deal with this mess while he went into hiding. For a good few years, Campbell Inc. began to loose money, both by the diminished workforce and by the fact that Campbell went into so many directions in the past that the successor had no idea how to continue. (The successor was a recluse as well who did everything humanly possible to remain anonymous to the world until the main factory/mansion/theme park tour, but to answer the question of the people reading this, yes, the successor is David.) That all changed one night when the main factory and several others around the world started up and began production again despite no one ever leaving or entering the factory in the years before, the night of “reopening”, and in the few years after until the Golden Sparrow contest. Afterward, the company seemingly starts again from scratch, selling the best goddamn candy and toys the world has ever known, allegedly because the successor wanted to return the company to it’s roots (but it’s also partially because David’s a kid at heart and wanted to go back to that). A few years after the mysterious successor inherits the factory, a contest begins that almost ends the world with it’s hype: multiple Golden Sparrows are sent out, promising that the people who show up with one will get a free tour of the refurbished factory, as well as a small portion of the company’s stock (which in and of itself promises for thousands, if not millions of dollars in annual income) and a lifetime supply of any products produced by the company, including food, candy, toys, makeup, certain brands of clothes the company owns, etc. Some rumors even went out about a secret prize, although until the weekend tour of the factory, no one can confirm or deny the rumor. And here enters Max, a young, jaded boy who lives a very shitty, poverty stricken home life (that I unfortunately can’t fully describe since we don’t know what Max’s parents are like [all we know now is that they’re kind of shitty] and there’s a possibility that we’ll see the campers’ parents in the season 2 finale, so if that’s true, I don’t want to potentially date this post with speculation, needless to say that Max’s home life sucks in this AU). Max seems unable to fully grasp the hype about the Golden Sparrow contest at first since “his generation” wasn’t around when Campbell Inc. pretty much ruled the world, although many experts note that they’re getting back up there again and might ACTUALLY rule the world this time now that Campbell’s is being run by a new person who seems to have learned from his predecessors mistakes. Max partially blames Campbell Inc. for why the world he lives in is so shitty, since he understands, in basic economics, what’s liable to happen when a workforce a large as Cameron’s is laid off almost all at once without being replaced by other people. But Max eventually starts giving into the hype as more Golden Sparrows are found and he realizes that the contests prizes could get him out of his shitty life and into a much better one (whether he’ll take the rest of his family with him is anyone’s guess, but I’d say it’s very unlikely). Like Charlie before him, it takes 3 tries to get a Golden Sparrow (should I include the forged one, I don’t know who I’d attribute to in this AU, maybe the Quartermaster, but I feel like he should be somewhere in the factory, should he be the forger or the baseline for the Oompa Loompas, or should I just go the book route about the OLs only being described as little people and seemingly not clones of each other, given how similar individual Oompa Loompas look to each other in the movies?) and, noticing that the Sparrows allow bringing plus two, Max decides to bring a local woman he’s kinda friends with with him (my original plan was for this to be Bonquisha, but I noticed that I haven’t made a place for Gwen in this AU, I don’t know, maybe Gwen is one of Campbell’s adopted kids and she makes friends with David, or maybe Max brings both Gwen and Bonquisha together as his plus ones because Max doesn’t like Bonquisha’s boyfriend. Note: David doesn’t get with Bonquisha in this AU, but they do surprisingly make good friends.) All of the other Campers in the main series, including the Woodscouts and the Flower Scouts, win the contest and bring their parents (except the woodscouts and the flower scouts who go as their respective trios, well, I guess the Woodscouts would try to use the free tour as an excuse to infiltrate the factory to steal secret formulas for their popcorn sales, I could even see them stacking Jermy onto Petrol to do the whole kids in trenchcoat=adult shtick so they can have more hands to steal things with or they could fill the role of a character that was actually cut from the book, Miranda Mary Piker .) The Flower Scouts would, collectively (I guess), fulfill the archetype of  Veruca Salt, all of them being highly successful spoiled brats who feel very entitled, possibly playing into Tabii withtwoIs’s hardcore crush on Neil, who would probably be Mike Teevee, including elements of his 2005 Film character. Ered would fulfill the archetype of  Violet Beauregarde, a cool, somewhat competition freak who likes being cool and winning. I’m not sure about any other Campbell Campers filling the roles of the other “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” kids, but I guess that the factory could have things that could appeal to their vices as well, hell, there are chapters that got cut out of the original book, like Spotty Powder, The Vanilla Fudge Room, The Warming Candy Room, and The Children’s-Delight Room (Info taken from Wikipedia and Lost in Adaptation.) Daniel will be in this AU as Arthur Slugworth, although he’s more like how Slugworth was in the book, actually a corporate rival to Campbell as apposed to secretly being in league with David. Max actually starts internally freaking out at how similar David and Daniel are in appearance (especially after the freaky-ass tunnel scene, which is in this AU, David visually turns into Daniel while reciting the “There’s no earthly way of knowing” poem, Max is kind of traumatized and tries bringing it up again later and gets exasperated with everyone pretending like it didn’t happen, eventually he just gives up trying to rationalize it), but eventually concedes that he actually kind of likes David. Other Camp Camp characters will appear, like the town residents, Jasper (who was the factory’s OG dead kid), the cop (Sal,I think, from the first episode), the federal agents, I guess Jen could appear, but I wouldn’t know how to insert her in, the forest squirrels as the Nut Checking Squirrels, the campers and counselors David went to Camp with could appear too, probably in flashbacks.

Because I’m personally kind of hyped for the new movie, I kind of want there to be a Stephen King’s It AU. I don’t know how exactly It would work, but the internet will find a way.

[imagiversetheshow-blog]

The Future Ahead

I thought I would post this tonight, since it was kind of a “shower thought.” I don’t really get time on my own in the shower anymore because of my meds; now I can only learn new things and see new memories in the shower, nowhere else. I’m hoping I can get off the meds soon. But, that’s not why I’m here. I wanted to talk about the future. I’m not really doing so well with the future right now, as it seems it only gets grimmer from here. I mean, there’s so many bad ideas and thoughts right now. Any one of them could come true and I would be shattered, and I hope others would be too. I’ve been watching random videos in my YouTube feed, and it just seems to get worse and worse. If you want me to name three things off of that platform alone that scare me, I can rattle that shit off: 1. we are nearly in a Fallout situation right now, 2. we are almost to GAI systems which means something like Detroit can happen and people, plastic or not, could die for no reason, and 3. what if some crazy thing happens and Unwind becomes a thing?! Like, everyone hates me, and I’m not 18 yet, so they could unwind me alive if they want to! I’m just so worried that something is going to happen that’s going to make everything even more shitty than it already is. I remember when I was little and I was so excited for the future, to see all the cool stuff that was supposed to come out, like robot pets and “hot badges” (wow, that was an old idea) but now, I’m crippled with all the horrible ideas and things happening, and it doesn’t help right now that all of my friends (Rain, Wheatley, etc.) have died. No one could help me like they could, and now they’re gone. And worse at that, my supposed friends and family have danced on their graves, exclaiming how wonderful this is and how much better I’m doing. What they don’t understand, and I don’t think they ever will, is that I’m very good at putting on a mask when I REALLY don’t want people to see me. I have never been more miserable in my life, I’ve just been putting on a smile to cover it up. If they really want me to be happy, this is not the hooray they have been looking for, but actually a severe loss. I am already expecting that no one will listen to me, and that my friends will never be able to return. I don’t know what I’m going to do then. Maybe I’ll just sleep it off, like my mom does. I don’t know. You guys have a good night, and a happy new year.

[imagiversetheshow-blog]

The power of music

Music has always been my best medicine and my worst trigger. Music is my director for the crap that goes on in my head. I can’t stand listening to a song that doesn’t “fit” at that time, so I always play what I feel is the right song. Unfortunately, this causes annual issues; sometimes I pull up my music library, YouTube, Apple Music, Play Music, or Tidal HiFi, and I feel that a negative song is the right choice. Then I know I’m going for a ride. Of any negative songs I hate appearing, my worst is Sail, by AWOLNATION. It never ends well, and constantly pulling that card usually (since I believe in both the supernatural and believe that the song is another psychological niche like the ever-famous Lavender Town music) means that something VERY bad is going to happen, since the last time I picked Sail constantly, I became hopeless in my situation and both overdosed on Opiods and jumped out a window with the intention of suicide, and the last time before that, I declared at school that a person in my head, who no longer contacts me, was going to take over my body and kill my family, which made me make the decision to find a gun and blow my brains out. Of course, neither time was successful, thankfully (the OD was very close though; it was well over lethal amounts, but I didn’t need any pumping or Narcan, which the doctor were very surprised by.) But that shows how powerful music can be. I don’t take negative songs lightly anymore; I always make sure I’m safe before playing anything like Sail, because the effects can come on quickly, and at random; one time I might be fine sunrise to sunset, another time I might go into a hopeless rage a few hours after, and yet another time, I might start sobbing after the song because of all the negative thoughts it produces. But, anyway, I’ve been beating a dead horse for far too long. I wanted to post some songs and their usual “meaning”/results in the Imagiverse in a list, so you guys can see what my processing is like. Here they are:

Sail, by AWOLNATION: Usually about a True Dark creator going on a murder spree, or about just general murder/blood/death.

Gasoline, by Halsey: About what it’s like when Rain and I are partial merged, and the chorus is about how people treat me and the people in my head.

7 Years, by Lukas Graham: About Wheatley’s life (positive side)

Dream, from Lionheart Production’s “The Animal’s Life”: About how everything goes from great to complete shit in the Imagiverse, basically.

Somebody That I Used to Know (feat. Kimbra), by Gotye: Arguing between, Rain, Wheatley, and I.

Heathens, by twenty one pilots: About Darks (not True Darks; those guys are different. Darks can be good even though they have darker powers, True Darks are always bad) and how shitty their lives usually are (because they’re treated like shit by Lights; almost like Blacks vs the KKK in reality, actually. Creators should have a Dark Rights movement, now that I think about it! I’ll get Rain on that.)

Silence (Feat. Khalid), by Marshmello: About how Rain’s life is based on the violence of other people.

Ok, I think that’s enough for now. Let me know if you want more. Hopefully I’ll see you guys tomorrow.