#and not making any sort of big market decision cash grab to 'reinvigorate' something that didnt even need it

[tumblunni]

tfw you’re so desperate for sinnoh remakes that you start planning out the exact tribute amv you’d make if it ever happened and hoooo boy why did i pick such a depressing subject to think of making! its like.. i wanna someday make a tribute to how pokemon’s been a constant presence in my life that’s helped me survive some really heavy shit and still be alive today to even be able to get excited for remakes! sinnoh in particular is always gonna be close to my heart cos of the timing of it it literally saved me from comitting suicide during an abusive childhood tho the timing was actually that BW1 just came out when i finally left my dad, but that game never hit me as much somehow. i still cant put my finger on why I didnt enjoy unova or kalos, i guess they kinda felt like games where the only reason i was excited was the graphical update and new pokemon? whereas other generations im always more interested in the characters even if the gameplay is riddled with glitches and slowdown. sinnoh is objectively The Worst when it comes to actually being playable, so why did it never leave my faves list? XD also i dunno but ghetsis seemed like a failed take on the first attempt to make child abuse an actual main plot in a game. im glad lusamine plot finally did what i always wanted to see if nintendo handled such a deeply personal issue! i dunno, i just felt like it was Bad to have N be a villain, even if he was a sympathetic brainwashed guy who turned good as soon as he realized it. it still didnt feel like as much of a journey with all of the sympathy landed straight on the head of the abuse victim. And like.. ghetsis is a bit cartoony i guess? he’s just Evil with no real backstory and not even much examination of what it was like for N. and ghetsis is more about being a supervillain and you’re meant to hate him cos he’s a supervillain and seriously why did they even bring up him being an abusive dad if we’re not gonna give the plot the screentime and development it deserves? also i just disliked the ‘soft reboot’ aspect of unova and didnt find much of it to be memorable i guess. and maybe cos it was released literally during my attempts to leave my evil father, i guess i was just too distracted to devote my whole heart to it. and the message wasnt really uplifting and there wasnt any escapism from real life, it was just here is an exact replica of your real life and then the abused kid just leaves forever and is never seen again and everything is terrible. Poor N! But i didnt even find N all that interesting or relateable despite the fact he’s literally me! why did unova fail so hard to capture my soul when i got attatched to sinnoh for even slightly MENTIONING that the villain had a similar backstory... seriously N is like remade cyrus if he was fanservicey and oh so perfect at everything and seriously is he cyrus and cynthia doing a fusion dance WHY DID I NOT LOVE THIS GUY EVERYONE ELSE LOVED i guess i relate more to screwups and kinda take offense at the idea of a super perfect victim who like.. never even resisted being abused and was on their parent’s side and fought you ad then their redemption was just them being saved by someone else yet theyre still supposed to be perfect and everyone’s boyfriend or something and GAHHH WHY do i not love N why do i barley even REMEMBER him why did i have sinnoh as my inspiration to finally run away from home, why did i swaddle it up in my big ol backpack of everything I own while i literally sold BW to have the money to get to that homeless shelter? its so weird how i can completely recognise how a game was everyone else’s fave and i cnat even name a single reason i disliked it, yet i still disliked it... and somehow something from years earlier became my symbol of escaping my abusive childhood, more than a game where the villain hero bishie dude literally does exactly that ... ...eh i guess its just cos ghetsis was Literally my Dad and I didnt wanna see any more of him. get out of even my escapism game, dad! I possibly would have hated sun and moon too if i played it at that time in my life. tho i like to think i wouldnt, since lusamine and lillie’s plot was handled a lot better and had an actually uplifting ending. Then again sinnoh had the worst ending and somehow that just made me wanna write mroe fanfics!! Sympathetic villain man refuses all offers to help and walks off into Actual Hell promising to just try his evil plot again in a few years. Why did such a bad ending still end up really uplifting and cute????? cynthia why are you congratulating me i clearly failed I JUST CANT EXPLAIN IT sinnoh saved my life and unova didnt WHY! WHO KNOWS! but i wanna make a really sappy fuckin amv about it aaaa why cant i animate