#and named the overarching duology rip it up and now i feel like things are finally coming together | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ketavinsky · 2 months

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pros of returning to nz for my weird kids research trip: lots of awesome material, i finally feel at home in my home country again, i missed the bush, i missed the rain, i finally have a complete arc for carver, rasmussenisms, made peace with the rage, got to see the family cat even if he doesnt remember me, my childhood bed, my childhood stuffies, great inspiration for plot and setting, new horror devices

cons: the sweet spot in my childhood home is about 10 days and day 12 im going fucking crazy

#dellete #but excited to flesh out my weird kids ch outline some morr and go back to writing.... after doing some art comms #truly so excited for this project again.#i was always in a weird place about it. it was supposed to be my junk food project. not more lighthearted but certainly more easygoing #i just really needed to prove to myself i had a story to tell and i was wary to challenge myself #there was so much i didnt want to confront about the experiences that inspired it and so much of myself i didnt dare include #and then i split weird kids into 2 projects: weird kids and fistfuls of bedlam #and named the overarching duology rip it up and now i feel like things are finally coming together #i finally have the skill to articulate the story that veins through me to some capacity and i have thr faith that every day i get better #no surprises here but i had so much shame #i still do #i have to keep working on it #and yeah every novel in my planned work features a different fragmented perspective of the original artefact #cosmic. mind destroying nightmarish etc #but weird kids and fistfuls of bedlam #two projects i could barely look at head on for shame at what they were #what they represented #have become so dear to me #an ill congregation #and best of all do not require much mathematical research #stares at my notes for the rest of the series

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